Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:46:25 -0500
From: Andy Smith <andyoutwest@live.com>
Subject: Asleep on the Beach chapter 12
Asleep on the Beach
Chapter 12
Disclaimer: Please be advised that under aged youths are advised to not
read this material; all others are welcome. Should you chose to proceed to
the story below...please enjoy! Any comments are welcomed and you'll get a
fairly prompt reply; andyoutwest@live.com
Writer's Note: Geez. I'm embarrassed at the number of glaring typos in the
last couple of submissions. It's inexcusable, and I promise to put in a
bit more work on the editing side. An English Major I'm not, but I know
how distracting it can be to come across glaring errors. Many thanks for
all the comments and input. You guy's make writing a pleasure.
Prologue
All back from the hospital, and an evening dinner planned with ALL
of the parents of our central characters. Wow. This could be the
beginning of quite a lot of different possibilities...I suppose we'd better
get to it!
Chapter 12 A First Kiss
Not too long after we all drifted off to sleep, my back began to
hurt and I was uncomfortable. I did have two big lugs sprawled out atop
me, afterall. I opened my eyes and could tell by the ambient light coming
in from the window that it was still early afternoon, and that I hadn't
been asleep too long. Besides, I hurt all over, and was quickly getting
stiff. My meds were supposed to kick in, or so I thought I heard Mom say
just before she left, but at this point I wasn't too sure they were going
to work. I was trying to figure out who to move off me first, Lenny on my
right side, or Jason on the left. Turning my head slightly I took in both
of the sleeping boys at my sides and contemplated...things.
I guess you know by now that I'm a kinda kid that smells and odors
really mean a lot to me. Even so, I found it oddly erotic that I could
distinguish between both boy's smells beside me. Each was
distinctive...no...they didn't STINK! It was just that each one of them
smelled different. Lenny, being shorter and smaller than me was lower down
on my shoulder than Jason. Lenny's hair was longer, and softer than
Jason's and had the sweet fragrance of apricot shampoo drifting ever so
slightly to my nostrils. I could move my head slightly and kiss his silky
hair, to smell him was divine.
He was drooling on my shoulder just a little, but I couldn't really
feel the wetness. I suppose it's because we were both so warm lying
together there under the sheet. He had worked his way around to be
completely grasping my upper arm like a teddy bear, and had his right leg
thrown over mine, his knee slightly bent, and his crotch very comfortably
nestled on my hip. He was out – totally asleep. I supposed then, that
he could be moved slightly and not roused too much. I tried moving my arm
away from me in an attempt to get him to roll over. He just glombed on
tighter, bringing a smile to my face.
"Roll over, Buddy, you're killing me," I whispered to him. He
sighed real big, but with an additional nudge, he complied in his sleep and
rolled over. Ahhh...relief. Turning toward Jason then, I had to decide
how to move him so I could turn over on my side...didn't know which side to
choose though, because of my sore ribs and my broken arm.
As I turned my face toward Jason, and my eyes got adjusted to the
light...HE WAS LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME!!!! Damn. Wasn't expecting that!
He smiled at me, seeing my start. He was sooo close to me...our faces just
inches apart. I could feel his breath on my face...it was intoxicating.
Realizing I didn't have to make a decision about how or where to turn now,
I rolled over on my left side to face Jason. My casted left hand was
sticking straight up between us, but we were pressed together as close as
we could get except for that. Ever so gently, Jason put his right arm up
on my side and kind of hugged me...dunno if it was a hug, or just an
embrace...is there a difference? Looking at his face, his lips, his nose
and eyes...I wanted to kiss him. Was that wrong? Could you kiss your best
friend? Would he freak out? *Jeez* My breathing must have intensified, as
even I noticed that. I licked my lips, my eyes darting back and forth
between his lips and eyes. My heart was racing. Was he thinking what I
was? Which one of us would make the first move? Did he WANT me to kiss
him? Did he want ME to make the first move? Damn. Even with all the
things we've learned about one another...this seemed like totally uncharted
territory to me, I was so confused...but so anxious to discover what else
there was to know too. Uncertain of what to do, I did nothing.
"Liam?" he whispered. I could feel his breath as his lips moved.
I didn't answer. "Are you okay?" Still whispering. I nodded my head very
slightly, uncertain if he was asking about my pains of getting beaten up,
or...something else...
He turned is head up toward the ceiling and re-adjusted himself
slightly yet still maintaining very close body contact with me. This time,
I pulled my leg up across him, and felt myself spooning in to his side. In
an instant I felt like this was where I belonged. I just don't know how to
tell you what it felt like, except to say we fit. Together. Like Lenny
had me earlier, I snuggled into his upper arm and was quite content. I
heard his breathing, it was irregular, as if his thinking had interrupted
his normal body patterns.
"Did it hurt?" I whispered. I suppose he knew what I was thinking.
"Yea," he whispered to the ceiling, "but more than the pain in my
...umm...down there...I ...I guess it was the idea that he was forcing me
that bothered me the most. I mean...I...I don't know what I mean."
"Did you mean it...what you told Dad?" I was thinking about what he
told my Dad on Saturday night. Jason was silent as he thought about
things.
"Yes."
"Oh."
Silence.
"Jason?" I turned my face towards his. He responded by moving his
face very slightly towards mine. I knew he was waiting for the rest of the
question. I turned my face back toward the meaty part of his shoulder...I
don't know why...but I kissed his shoulder lightly. His skin was silky
smooth, warm on my lips, and my nose pressed to his shoulder and I couldn't
help but smell his essence. It was only a peck...a brief touching of my
lips to his skin...but I'll never forget it. Turning my face barley so
could talk, I whispered... "Tell me."
"What?"
"Tell me why you didn't tell me any of this before."
"Oh Liam...d.don't you know?" I didn't answer. My heart skipped a
beat though.
"To tell you...meant it'd be true." I could feel his chest heaving
a tiny bit. I looked up at him, saw he was in distress and I struggled to
lean up and over him slightly. My danged elbow hurt, and my arm was in the
stupid way, but I wasn't going to let it interfere now.
Gently I placed my good hand on his chest, my fingers near that
sunken place at the bottom of his throat and the hollow of his collar bone.
I could feel his pulse on my fingertips. Tentatively, I reached for his
chin, turned his face to me...and I kissed him.
It wasn't a deep-throat kiss. It wasn't a passionate kiss like
you'd kiss a girl...or a boy come to think of it. I could feel his lips
tremble under mine. I suppose he anticipated what I was about to do
because he's licked his lips, as they were wet...so were mine...I don't
remember licking them before...but I could tell it now. He breathed
through his nose and I felt is breath on my cheek. I'd never ever dreamed
that two people could communicate this way; that lips could speak without
moving, or uttering a sound. But that kiss told us both that we were
together...that we both accepted one another...even if we didn't fully
comprehend all of what that entailed at the moment...the kiss said "I take
you, just as you are."
I looked down at him, his eyes were still shut, but is lips were
still quivering, and I could see tears still falling down his cheek. I
wiped them from the side I could reach with my right hand, and settled back
down to his shoulder.
"W.when me and Mason did those things together...it was you I
wanted to do them with. I was j.jut so afraid to tell you what I was
thinking." He reached up and wiped his own tears. "Then, when you came to
me and told me about you...I just froze on the inside. I was afraid it
wasn't real...that you didn't mean it...that you'd change. I thought that
if you found out I'd actually DONE things with someone else... It's just
so goddamned complicated...I could t.take a risk with Mason, because
if...well...even if he got mad, or I told him to take a hike...well...he
wasn't YOU. You're my very best friend, Liam. I don't know what I'd do if
I lost you...I just couldn't take that risk.
"Also...I was afraid that I'd turn into a boy like Cody." His
chest heaved several times as he let those thoughts flow out of him.
"Oh, Jason," I whispered through my own tears, hugging him tighter
to me, "you'd never ever be like that. You wouldn't hurt someone. You
wouldn't force yourself on someone. I know you. You'd never be like him."
"B.but, d.don't you see?" he whispered. "Sex is...it's almost
addictive. Once you have had it, you don't ever want to s.stop having it.
A million time I wanted to push you down and s.suck you. I wanted to hold
your...ummm...your d.dick in my hand...in my mouth." He put his arm over
his face like I had in the hospital before. "You hate me now...don't you?"
I sighed really big. My mind was racing again. I remembered that
my silence isn't always understood by people...a flash went through my mind
of Lenny walking away from me at the beach... "No. I don't hate you. I
understand you...I mean...I know what that feels like. Remember? I'm the
one who told you how I feel? I just didn't tell you what all I wanted to
DO to YOU! I mean...I know about that stuff...okay? And, besides...I
would NE-VER (emphasis on each syllable) EV-ER not be your friend, Jason.
That could never even happen."
I sat up again leaning over him like before, "But look at me,
Jason." I waited for him to comply. I looked deep into his eyes. "I
didn't DO ANYTHING to you...I respected you and wouldn't do something to
you that you wouldn't want me to do...AND...YOU didn't DO ANYTHING to me.
For the same reason. You...we... are not like Cody." The last four words
were paused between for emphasis, and slightly above a whisper.
I guess that registered with him, or reassured him, because he
nodded, smiled a tiny bit at me, wiped is tearstained face again and began
to slow his breathing back down. I shifted slightly, trying to get
comfortable. Lenny stirred, I suppose we were making a bit more noise than
I thought we were. I made a mental note to not wake him.
Looking back, I now find it odd that neither Jason or I had
erections at that point. If that happened today...well. But that
afternoon, we had so much to deal with. I think it was that we both felt
like we could trust one another...and these things had been between us now
for so long. Interestingly, we kept no secretes between us...except the
biggest damn secret of our LIVES!
"Jason?"
"Yea."
"Jason, I t.think you have to tell your Mom and Dad what
h.happened...to you."
"NO!" He began to panic. "You CAN'T t.tell!" I put my hand back
on his chest, turning him back to face me. I didn't have kissing on my
mind this time though.
"No, no, no...shhhh..shhh..." I tried to sooth him, and keep him
from panicking further. "I didn't say I was going to tell them. I t.think
YOU need to tell. Jason, this is a serious thing that Cody did to you."
"My Dad will KILL me," Jason whispered, but his tone was
unmistakable panic.
"Look. You don't have to tell him how things got started. You
don't have to tell him anything about Mason and you...about what you two
did I mean. The story only has to begin with Cody forcing himself on you.
Your Dad doesn't have to know the rest. You can tell him that stuff when
you're ready. But, I think being forced into...ummm...doing what he
d.did...that isn't right, and who knows what all that could do to
you...now...AND later.
"M.maybe something like that happened to him once...see? I heard
somewhere that kids who are molested sometimes molest other kids...even if
they hated what happened to them." Mom was watching this docudrama thing
once where they talked all about stuff like that...I hated sitting through
it, but she said it would do me good to hear it, she said I was old enough
to start to learn about such things. I guessed now it was kinda
helpful...only I wasn't sure I could convince Jason to do anything. I
mean...our natural instinct is to hide that kind of shit from EVERYONE.
It's all so embarrassing, and...HOW do you bring it up?
"Look," I whispered, "I'll talk to my Dad about what happened with
me and Lenny...I mean...I'll tell him what we really did together. Maybe
he can help me figure out what to do about it." I was hoping I wasn't
putting myself out there with nothing in return from him...the trade was
implied, but not spoken...I didn't want to pressure him too hard. He was
obviously scared to death that his Dad wouldn't handle things well...I
suppose he knew his father better than I did, as they did live together all
Jason's life.
I felt like I knew his Dad. He had a hard-nosed Army type
personality...but he was always so good to me and Jason. We played and
wrestled and cut-up ALL the time. Looking back, I don't think I ever heard
him curse, never did I see him raise a hand to Jason. They didn't go to
church as often as our family did...but we DID go to the SAME church
(no...I'm not telling you what kind, because you'll all get some stupid
idea of what kind of group they are based on what you know of me..and I
don't suppose that's too fair...just know we went...my family went a lot,
and if Jason's parents didn't go, he would ride with me). There WAS a very
clear understanding between them that his Dad's law WAS law. Anytime
Jason's Dad said to do something, Jason always replied with a "Yes, Sir"
and quick action. Jason never argued with his dad, never whined, never put
off doing as he was told. Me, on the other hand...I was the Champion
whiner! Usually, it didn't matter WHAT I was told to do, I'd find
something to whine about...always trying to put off doing what I was told
until it meant certain trouble. Not Jason.
We never talked much about that, I mean...who WOULD talk about it?
I just had the feeling that Mr. Lawler wasn't one who suffered
insubordination. He set the tone and expectation for obedience, and it was
faithfully executed. I guess all those years in the Army meant he knew how
to get things done without all the yelling and screaming...there certainly
wasn't any the ten million hours I was over at Jason's house.
Still, I knew Mr. Lawler (Jim) to be a stern man. As much as he
loved Jason...and even as much as I think he liked me...he wasn't the sort
of fellow you would expect to entertain foolishness well. So, I guessed
inside my heart that Jason had plenty of reasons to suspect his Dad
wouldn't tolerate a gay son. Seriously, though, I never EVER heard
Mr. Lawler talk that way. Believe me, I would have remembered something
like THAT!
I sort of snapped out of my daze...my mind has this tendency to
wander at the most inopportune times. Looking over to Jason to see how he
was handling my last...idea. One lone tear dropped down the side of his
face. It was such a lonely sight.
"Jason, I'm sorry...it's not my business I guess." I said, trying
to understand how I would be feeling if the tables were turned.
He wiped at the last tear. Sighed real big. Turned to look at me.
He was studying me, searching me...trying to see, or understand me.
"W.what you said," he said, looking away as he did, "what you said
about me...us not being like Cody?" I waited, uncertain of where this
would go.
"I'm not ever going not be like him. The way he has made feel, the
f.fear in me for these years...I'm NEVER...EVER going to make somebody feel
like that. I swear to God." He stopped and studied me some more. "And
I'm thinking...thinking that you are right. Maybe I can't say that if...if
I just try to control this all by myself." Jason reached out for my hand.
"Will you h.help me? Help me tell my Daddy?"
Instantly overwhelmed at his trust, and need of my support, I
couldn't help but tear up. I fought back the tears though...enough damn
crying for crimanny's sakes! `Yes," I managed. "I'm here for you bud."
As I said that we both leaned in to one another and held each other in a
tight embrace; my head on his shoulder, his on mine. The bed shifted, and
I could feel Lenny move on his knees to the middle of us. His arms slipped
round both of us and we were entangled in a group hug!
"How long you been listening, Squirt?" Jason said while leaving
his head on my shoulder.
"Always...I always know what's going on," came Lenny's husky voice.
He giggled. "You two woke me up breathing so hard!" he giggled again.
Jason and I both goosed him in the ribs at the same time, to which he
jerked away in a fit of giggles, pulling all three of us into a heap. The
tickling and laughter was soon out of control, and being one-armed I
quickly got in the worst shape! I tried...in vain...to plead that my ribs
and shit were still sore...no good!
Sure enough, the ruckus brought the cavalry...Dad appeared at the
door. He must have been watching for a few minutes, because he cleared his
throat, and said, "Okay! Time to put you three to work if you have that
much energy!"
The three of us looked at each other, back to Dad, then on cue each
threw our pillows at him! Somehow, he managed to deflect and catch all
three missiles and hurled them back at us faster than lightening. As no
good challenge goes unheeded, we returned the volley, only to be pummeled
back with greater velocity. Soon all bedlam broke out. Only a Mom could
have broke it up...which she did!
Left in a bed full of giggling and laughing, we were told to pull
ourselves together and get downstairs. We were assured a more constructive
use of our energy could be found. I was summarily scolded for not taking
my ease and getting in the line of fire. Clearly, I was to be treated as
an invalid for days yet to come!
Okay...this feels like a good place to rest for the afternoon. I'll
pick back up later with the evening meal and the Parents who must all soon
discover something new about each of their boys. Comments welcome!
andyoutwest@live.com