Date: Sun, 05 May 2002 12:08:33 -0400
From: Stan Unknown <stan992001@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chapter 4 of Beating The Odds

			       Chapter Four

Bruce had barely gotten out of the shower, dried his hair, and finished
dressing before he heard the doorbell ring. Neal was standing there with a
binder in his hand. Bruce had to check his clothes to make sure he had
showered and changed too, but it looked like he had.

They spent about two hours that day. Bruce read everything Neal had written
and then scanned it into his computer so Neal could make his changes using
Microsoft Word. They worked another hour and a half the next day and the
paper was a lot better. Neal even felt proud of what they were accomplishing
together. Even if that was not the real reason he was over at Bruce's house.

Neal was completely in love with Bruce at this point. But he was frustrated.
He and Bruce had quickly become friends. That was good. But Bruce had not
given him any sign that they might ever become more than good friends. That
was bad.

Everything changed the third day. They had worked hard for an hour and a
half on the report. It was almost finished and looking really great. Neal
was impressed himself. He knew that he could easily get his parent's
approval to continue using Bruce to help him next year. And having Bruce as
a friend and tutor was better than not having any contact with Bruce at all.

When they were finished for the day, they had gone out and played a little
one on one. Only two games, and Neal had actually won one. He had kind of
given up on Bruce as a potential boyfriend, and now he could concentrate on
playing basketball more than he had in the past.

"Le let's g go in inside and and get so some something to to drink."

"Great idea. I'm really thirsty."

They each got a coke and then went down to Bruce's room and signed on the
net. Bruce took off his wet t-shirt, which Neal enjoyed. They surfed the web
for a few minutes, and then Bruce said, "I I am go going to g go an and take
a qui quick sho shower. Go ah ahead and ke keep lo look looking ar around
whi while I am am go gone."

"Ok, thanks Bruce," Neal replied. Bruce got some clean clothes and went into
his bathroom and closed the door. Neal went to several sites and then got
bored. He went into Bruce's history to see if he had any good sites to look
at and found an entry called Nifty. He had no idea what that meant, so he
got curious. He went to the favorites folder and saw Nifty also listed
there, along with the links to several stories Bruce had been reading. Neal
clicked on one of these, and it was a GAY story. He exited that and clicked
on the Nifty link. It was ALL gay stories! 'OH MY GOD, could Bruce be gay
too?' Neal thought to himself.

Neal's head was spinning too much to say anything to Bruce about what he had
found. He quickly closed the Nifty site and went back to something else
before Bruce could discover what he had found. When Bruce returned from his
shower, Neal had decided he needed to go home and think about what to do
about what he had learned.

Neal's thoughts were interrupted by Bruce's footsteps coming down the
stairs. The bad thing was this was a day later and he still didn't know what
to do.

"Hu hi Ne Neal. Are are you fin finished?" Bruce asked, as he handed Neal
his glass.

"Thanks. Yeah, I think so. I did what you said. I re-wrote the ending so it
summarized everything that I, well we, had said up to that point. I like the
ending. See what you think?"

Bruce sat down next to Neal after sitting his glass to the side and read the
last page. He finally looked up at Neal and smiled. "Tha that is a a gre
great end ending. I thi think you are are fin finally fin finished. I I
don't kn know whe whether to to be hap happy or sad. I I'm go going to mi
miss wor working wi with you on on thi this."

Neal stared deep into Bruce's eyes. He was totally in love with him now. He
took the biggest chance in his life. He couldn't help himself. He leaned
over and quickly kissed Bruce on the lips.

Bruce pulled away so quickly that it shocked Neal. They stared at each
other. Neal could see the surprise registering in Bruce's face.

"I'm sorry, Bruce," Neal said, as he got to his feet. "I  I should shouldn't
have done that." Neal was shaking so badly that he had started to stutter a
little himself.

"I'm so sorry. I hope you don't hate me. I couldn't help myself. I really
love you. I'll go now. I'm sorry."

A million things were running through Neal's head, all at the same time.
Will Bruce hate me? Will Bruce tell everyone what I just did? Will he want
to beat me up? Will he never speak to me again? He was just about to run out
of the room when Bruce caught him by the shoulder and spun him around.

Neal flinched from the blow he knew was coming. But instead of a blow to the
face, Bruce pulled Neal towards him, into his arms, and kissed him deeply.
Neal was too surprised at first to do anything but allow it to happen. But
he quickly regained his senses and returned the kiss.

They broke and pulled slightly away from each other so Bruce could say, "I I
thin think I lo love you t too." Neal stared deeply into his eyes for a few
seconds until tears started to cloud his vision, and then threw himself into
Bruce's arms, hugging him tight.

It was a good thing Bruce had his bedroom downstairs. It was a long time
before they could even sit down. Tears were flowing from both boys as they
talked in each other's arms. In between, they shared long kisses where
neither of them thought about speaking. They each told the other of their
secret fears and fantasies. Both had liked the other, but both were scared
to make the first move. They fell deeply in love at that moment.

                                     *******************

Tim sat as close to the field as he could get as he watched practice. He was
on the front row of the bleachers as he watched the middle linebacker
disrupt the option play, shoved the quarterback to the ground and then
tackle the running back out of bounds. It happened right in front of where
he was sitting.

He could hear every word exchanged as the middle linebacker first got into
an argument with the quarterback, then the running back, then the much
bigger lineman. Tim was getting scared that they were all going to gang up
on him when he heard the coaches whistle.

He listened intently at everything said. No one seemed to notice him sitting
in the stands, which suited him just fine. And he had learned the middle
linebacker's name. Kevin! He even liked the way that sounded.

Kevin removed his helmet when the coaches came running up and Tim got his
first close look at him. He quit listening closely as he tried to memorize
everything about Kevin as he talked to the coach. But then he turned and
sprinted off the field.

Tim almost left after that, since Kevin was no longer on the field, but for
some reason, he decided to wait. The practice went on for another 30
minutes, but Tim was no longer interested. He had put a paperback novel in
his back pocket when he got out of his van and read in the sunlight. He even
moved up to the top of the stands so the noise wouldn't affect his
concentration.

The practice was finally over and again, Tim started to walk back to his
van. But for some reason, he waited. His book was good, "Roses Are Red" by
James Patterson, but he read and kept one eye on the door to the player's
locker room.

All the player's drifted out in twos and threes. Tim just wanted to see
Kevin one more time. But they all finally left and he never saw Kevin leave.
'Shit, I either missed him or he went out another door', Tim thought to
himself.

He slowly started down the steep steps of the bleachers. 'Why did I ever
decide to climb all the way up here? Going up was bad enough, but going down
is lots worse.'

He finally made his way down the steps and swore to himself he would never
try that again. Twice he had almost stumbled and fallen head first down the
steep steps. With his disability, he could do anything he wanted to, but
taking extra risks was foolish and he knew it.

Coming down the steps took lots of effort and Tim was kind of tired once he
reached the bottom. And he still had a long walk back to his car. But he had
learned a long time ago that if he wanted anything, he had to work to do it,
so he started off in a slow but steady pace.

Coming to the football field had been easy. It was a gradual slope down
hill. Going back up was another matter. Tim was getting tired as he climbed
the seemingly never ending slope.

He finally got close to his car and a surge of energy hit him. Only another
hundred feet and he would finally be able to sit down. He quickened his pace
just as he got to where two different paths converged.

Kevin's mind was still confused. The coach had made him leave the field
again because he wasn't doing what he wanted him to do and then told him
that he was doing really good on the field when they were alone. Why
couldn't he make up his mind?

Kevin was still running all of this through his mind. He also was thinking
about the confrontation with Matt, Mike, and Todd. Todd was all right, but
Matt and Mike were major ass holes. The three of them had experienced
problems playing together ever since Kevin had joined the team. Matt and
Mike thought they ran everything, and everyone else was lucky to get to play
with them. It was like they were better than everyone else. And that kind of
attitude pissed Kevin off

Kevin had always had a bad temper. Just thinking about his last play today
made him mad. He decided to run the rest of the way home to burn off some of
his aggression.

Before he did that, he decided to take off his long sleeved shirt and tie it
around his waist. He still even had the top collar button buttoned. Old
habits are hard to break. But he was a different person now. He almost
ripped off his shirt but was careful not to tear off any buttons. His Uncle
George was kind enough to take him in and Kevin was not going to do anything
to cause him to have to spend any more on him than he had to.

His mind was still raging, but he forced himself to act calmly until he had
removed his shirt and had tied it securely around his waist. Then he took
off at full speed up the gentle slope. A good sprint was exactly what he
needed to make him forget about everything that had happened today so far.

Only one problem. He had only gone fifteen yards or so and was still
accelerating when Tim hobbled out into his way from the other path.

"Watch out!" Kevin screamed, as he cut to his right to try and avoid Tim. He
almost made it. What is the old saying? Almost is good enough in horseshoes
and hand grenades? Or atom bombs?

In any case, "almost" didn't work. He avoided hitting Jimmy full force, but
still knocked him off his feet. Kevin just spun around and didn't go down.
Just like a middle linebacker should do. Tim went down in a heap.

Before Tim could even try to understand what had happened to him, Kevin was
beside him, asking if he was all right, and trying to get him to his feet.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Are you all right. This is my fault. I never saw you. Can
you stand up?"

Tim's head had hit the pavement and he was temporarily stunned. He wasn't
hurt, but it took him a little bit to get his wits about him before he knew
where he was. Old football term: "He got his bell rung"!

Once he finally he cleared his head, he looked up and Kevin had him in his
arms and Kevin's face was only inches from his. As he looked up at Kevin's
face, his eyes got big and his heart, which was already going at a higher
rate because of all the exertion and the collision, went into overdrive. All
Tim could do was stare at Kevin with his mouth hanging open.

"Say something. Do I need to go get help? Are you going to be all right? Say
SOMETHING!" Kevin was beginning to panic.

"Can, can you help me get up?"

"Sure. No problem. Just take your time," Kevin said, as he as gently as he
could helped Tim back to his feet. He almost lifted Tim into his arms as he
did so.

Tim's head was totally spinning. From the exertion. From the collision. From
being in Kevin's arms. He allowed Kevin to help him to his feet and then
almost collapsed again. Kevin held him tight until he could regain his
balance. Fine with Tim!

"Thanks. I think I'll be Ok now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I think so. I hit my head..."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think about that. Let me check." Kevin released him but
kept one hand on him in case he might fall again and went to check his head.
He gently ran his hand over Tim's head to make sure he wasn't bleeding, but
not rough enough to cause any extra pain.

"I don't think you have a cut back there. I'm so sorry. I should have been
more careful. I have had a really bad day today."

"You, you play on the football team, don't you?" Tim said.

"Yeah. For now. One minute coach wants to kick me off the team and the next,
he says I am doing really good. I'm totally confused. How do you know that?"

"I was watching practice today," Tim answered, blushing.

Kevin didn't notice. "Oh yeah, I think I saw you in the stands. Was that
you?"

"Yeah."

"You like football? This is the first year I've ever played. I really don't
know much about it. Do you wish you could play? Oh shit! That was a stupid
thing for me to say! Sorry! I need to think before I say stupid things like
that."

Tim just looked at him. "No, that's Ok. Yeah, I wish I could play. But
that's kind of out of the question. I'm not big enough anyway."

"I know. I'm sorry I even brought it up. I can be so insensitive sometimes."

Tim again stared at him before he responded. "No, I don't think I believe
that."

It was Kevin's turn to stop and stare at Tim before he responded. He smiled
and said, "I hope you are right. I try to be. My Uncle is working with me to
try and understand other people's feelings. I guess I am just kind of
behind. Anyway, where were you going?"

"My car is over there," Tim answered, as he pointed at the Chevy Jimmy.

"Let me help you over there. That is the least I can do."

"No, I will be fine by myself. Thanks, though."

"Look, at least let me walk over with you. Is that OK?"

Tim looked at him for a few seconds and then smiled once more. "Yeah, that
would be fine with me."

They slowly walked up to Tim's SUV, unlocked it, and then Tim gradually
climbed inside. Once he was seated, he said, "Can I give you a ride home?"

Kevin thought about it for a few seconds and then said, "No, I don't think
so. I still have something I need to think about and running is the best way
for me to work it out. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you see that play where coach kicked me off the field?"

"Yeah, it was right in front of me."

"You saw the whole thing?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think I did anything wrong?" Kevin asked.

"No. I just think you were doing what you were supposed to do."

Kevin thought about that for a few seconds, and then looked up at Tim and
grinned. "Thanks, so do I. I think Matt and Mike are ass holes. I'm going to
keep playing the way I always do, even in practice. Fuck 'em."

Tim looked into Kevin's eyes for a moment and then said, "Yeah, I agree.
Fuck 'em."

Kevin grinned again and said "Thanks, bud. Bye."

Before Tim could say anything else, Kevin had sprinted away. He watched him
until he was out of site. Even after he was gone, he continued to stare,
until he finally put his keys into the ignition and slowly backed up to
drive away.

All the way home, Jimmy had only one thought on his mind. Kevin!!!

                                     *******************

	Jim: "Hi. Jamie dumped me. I am totally depressed."
	Brian: "No way! What happened?"
	Jim: "He met a new boyfriend where he lives. He just said that he
loves this guy more than he does me. And he did it by e-mail. That is what
hurts the most. He didn't even do it when we were on line."
	Brian: I'm really sorry. I had a feeling that Jamie was going to do
that.  He made me
		promise not to tell you."
	Jim: "Why?"
	Brian: "He was just tired of a net relationship. He wanted more. I
don't think it really had anything to do with you."
	Jim: "Yeah, right! I am just a loser and I'll never find another
boyfriend."
	Brian: "You know that isn't true. Look, I met a new guy who might
be perfect for you. His name is Brian too. Lot's of Brians on the net. His
sign on is Snake."
	Jim: "Snake? I don't think so."
	Brian: "Look, you know your sign on name has nothing to do with who
you really are.
		He is a really nice guy. He is a member of that group I
told you I joined."
	Jim: "Well, I'm sure not ready for a new boyfriend. And I also
don't know if I want to join a group either."
     	Brian: "You read stories from Nifty, right?"
	Jim: "Yeah."
	Brian: "I read this story, 'You Can't Go Back'. It was really good
and it was all true. The kid in the story committed suicide after repeated
gay bashings."
	Jim: "Man, that sucks."
	Brian: "Yeah. I e-mailed the writer. He is a really old guy who
runs a gay support group for young guys like us. His name is Stan. I think
you would like to talk to him."
	Jim: "Uh huh. And where does Snake fit in?"
	Brian: "He's a member, too. There are almost 40 members now. He is
even writing his
		own story like Stan does."
	Jim: "Well, I wouldn't mind meeting him, but after Jamie, I don't
want another boyfriend at all. Can you send me the URL to that story? I
would like to read it.
	Brian: "Sure. I will also send you the URL to Brian's story too. It
is called XXXXXXX.
	Jim: "Thanks. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. I am
too depressed about Jamie.
	Brian: I know what you mean. Kyle and I had another fight today. I
don't know if he is going to come and stay with Nate or not."
	Jim: "I hope so. You have been planning this for months."
	Brian: "I know. I think everything will be fine. I sent you an
e-mail with the two URL's. I think you should just go read and forget about
Jamie for a while.  I'm sorry it didn't work out but New York and Australia
aren't exactly close enough where you can visit like Kyle and I can."
	Jim: "I know. I just wish I was lucky like you are."
	Brian: "So do I. I have to go. Later."
	Jim: "Later."

                                       To Be Continued

E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive'
comments or advice may be sent to: stan992001@hotmail.com. All e-mails will
be answered. You can also visit the young gay guys support group I created
after my "Matt and Mike" story at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/gbct or our web
site at www.gayteensunite.org. There is a forum section there where you can
enter comments about this story for everyone to see. All comments will also
be forwarded to the eleven guys from the group that are in the story.