Date: Tue, 07 May 2002 14:43:08 -0400
From: Stan Unknown <stan992001@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chapter 6 of Beating The Odds
Chapter Six
"Hi, Mrs. Goldstein. Is Bruce here?"
"Sure, Neal. He's in his room. Go on down. I know you know the way."
"Thanks," Neal said, blushing slightly. He was carrying his overnight bag
since he was spending the night with Bruce. Again.
"Oh, Neal?"
"Yes Mam?" he asked, turning around.
"Can we talk for a few minutes before you go downstairs?"
"Sure."
"Come into the kitchen and let me fix you something to drink. Bruce and Ryan
are downstairs and I know they both got something to drink just a few
minutes ago. Sit down at the table while I fix it, Ok?"
"Ok," he answered warily. Both of Bruce's parents had always treated him
really nice ever since he first started coming over so Bruce could help him
with his term paper. But ever since he and Bruce became boyfriends, he had
been worried they would find out.
She fixed him a glass of coke and handed it to him, sitting down next to
him.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Neal, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
"No Mam. I guess not," he answered, as butterflies flew around in his
stomach.
"Well first, does Bruce's stuttering bother you?"
Neal felt better immediately. "Oh, no Mam. Not in the least. I can
understand him just fine. That's kind of the reason we became friends to
start with."
"Sorry? I don't understand."
"Well, I overheard a conversation he was having several months ago. He was
trying so hard to make sure the person he was talking to understood him and
he was stuttering worse and worse."
"I'm sure he just got excited when he couldn't make himself understood."
"Yeah. I know that was it. But he wouldn't quit. He is the most determined
person I have ever known. And I made up my mind right then that I wanted to
get to know him."
She beamed at him when he said that. "I'm really glad you two have become
friends. He doesn't stutter nearly as much with you now, does he?"
"No Mam. He's used to me now, and he is lots calmer around me. And that
helps."
She smiled again. "I'm sure it does. Do you mind if I ask you one more
question?"
"No Mam. Anything."
"Neal, do you love my son?"
Neal's jaw dropped open and the butterflies were back. Thousands of them.
Millions!
Bruce's Mom just giggled at the expression on his face. "Neal, it's all
right. Bruce doesn't keep any secrets from us. He told us last night after
you had gone home. We've known Bruce was gay for over a year. And we're fine
with that."
"Uh, ahm, uh, I'm going to kill Bruce."
That broke her up totally. She laughed until she had tears running down her
face. And Neal started laughing with her.
When they had finally stopped and dried their eyes, she looked at him
seriously and said, "Do You?"
They never broke eye contact and he said "Yes Mam. With all my heart."
She didn't say a word. She just reached over and hugged him. Both of them
hugged each other tight.
She finally pulled back so they could look at each other. "I'm really glad
you love my son, Neal."
He smiled back. "Me too. But you scared me to death right then."
They both laughed and got to their feet. "Neal, can I ask you a favor?"
"Anything," he replied.
"Would you drop the Mr. and Mrs. Goldstein? It's really beginning to get on
our nerves."
"Hehehe. Sure. What do you want me to call both of you?"
"How about Ma and Pa G?" she asked as she smiled at him.
He smiled back and said, "That would be great with me. Thanks." And then he
hugged her once more.
They broke they hug, shared one more smile, then Neal picked up his glass
and walked down the stairs to join Bruce and Ryan.
*********************
Brian had decided that he was tired of the constant pressure, the constant
pain. He opened up the bottle of whiskey and took 3 pills and swallowed
them, washing them down with a mouthful of whiskey.
He grimaced at the taste. 'How does anybody drink this shit?' he wondered.
He took three more and then thought about all his friends over the net. He
really had found that talking to Jim had helped him and he wanted to see if
Jim was on line before he swallowed the rest. He had no idea how quickly
these pills would make him go to sleep, so he decided to sign on first. He
really should tell Jim goodbye, shouldn't he?
He had only been talking to Jim for two days. But they had shared a lot
about themselves in those few days. Brian was glad that his friend Brian R
had introduced them. He was already kind of liking Jim. And he knew Jim was
gay. But he had made up his mind. He wasn't going to live anymore in this
fucked up world.
He was in luck. Jim was online.
Snake: "Hi. I just signed on to say goodbye."
Jim: "What do you mean?"
Snake: "Look, my parents are way too close to finding out about me. If they
do, it is the end of me. And I refuse to deal with my father's
constant pushing. Goodbye Jim, thanks for being a friend while
you could."
Jim: "That's stupid. That's not reason enough to kill yourself."
Snake: "You have no idea what I'm going through."
Jim: "I can imagine. My parents suck too. But that is no reason to kill
yourself. We can get you through this"
Snake: "I don't give a shit. I have made up my mind and there is nothing
you can do to change it."
Jim: "Can you at least explain what else has happened?"
Snake: "You don't know much about this do you? Just say goodbye."
Jim: "NO! I refuse to say goodbye! You need to tell me what's going on. I
have the right to know."
Snake: "Fine. You want to know? There are a few things. I have heard about
people who have come out to their folks and they end up getting
so much shit for it...I already get too much shit from them. I
don't need any more."
Snake: "Shall I go on?"
Jim: "YES, PLEASE."
Snake: "I WILL NOT be daddy's little bitch any more. For 15 years it has
been `yes daddy, ok daddy'. Well, this time I am not going to
give daddy the chance. I won't play football, and I won't play
his games anymore!"
Jim: "Look, I am going to bring in some of my friends in too, OK?"
Snake: "NO!"
Brian R. has been added to the conversation.
Jim: "Brian, you know Brian R. You don't mind if I added him, do you?"
Brian R. "Hi Brian."
Silence
Jim: "Brian, come on. Bri is who introduced us. You two have been friends
for a long
time. Bri, he is talking more about what we talked about last
night."
Brian R. "Brian, you know that isn't the answer."
Silence
Brian R. "Brian, talk to me, OK?"
Snake: "Just fucking leave me alone!"
Jim: "Brian, come on. We're your friends. Talk to us, OK?"
Brian R: "Brian, this is stupid. Just tell your Dad that you aren't going
to play football, no matter what."
Snake: "I did. He won't listen. Everything has to be his way. I'm
through talking. I'm getting off the net now!"
Jim: "Brian, please don't go. At least let me tell you one thing
first."
Brian has made up his mind. He takes three more sleeping tablets and washes
then down with another mouth full of whiskey. He takes three more and does
the same. Then three more. He is about to sign off and turn off his computer
for the last time when he glances at the screen one last time. He sees what
Jim has written.
Snake: "Ok, go ahead. But make it good. I'm going right now. I'm tired of
talking."
Jim: "Well, uhm, I just wanted to say how much talking to you these
last few days has meant to me. I like you a lot."
Brian is touched by this. He also likes Jim.
Snake: "I like you too. I'm sorry I couldn't stay around long enough for us
to be friends."
Jim: "Brian, can I tell you something?"
Snake: "Sure. It isn't going to change my mind, but go ahead."
Jim: "I... I think I love you. I know we have only known each other for three
days, but I do. Please don't leave me."
Brian is kind of blind sided by this. His mind is already starting to be
effected by the alcohol and pills, but he answers.
Snake: "You are just saying that because you want to talk me out of
finishing what I started."
Jim: "No I'm not. I swear. I mean it."
Snake: "How do I know that for sure?"
Jim: "All I can do is give you my most scared promise. I really mean it? Do
you even like me?"
Brian is overwhelmed. He thought no one loved him. He's positive that his
parents don't. They can't kick him out until he is 18, but he is sure they
will as soon after that as they can. He starts crying, even though that is
the last thing he wants to happen right now. All he wants is to finish the
job.
Snake: "Yeah, I do. I have been thinking about you since Brian first
introduced us."
Brian R: "Brian, do you love Jim too?"
Snake: "I don't know. Maybe."
Brian R: "Then wouldn't you really like to find out for sure?"
Silence
Jim: "Brian, please say yes."
Snake: "Ok, I do. I really do."
Brian R: "Then you know what you have to do, don't you?"
Snake: "What?"
Brian R: "How many pills have you taken so far?"
Snake: "I don't know. 15 I think. I don't really know."
Jim: "BRIAN, please don't do this!!!!"
Brian R: "Look, Jim loves you. You are really going to FUCK HIM UP if you
do this. Do you want that to be the last thing you do on this
earth?"
Brian breaks down sobbing hard, but forces himself to answer.
Snake: "No. But I just can't live like this any more."
Brian R: "We can help you with this. And now you have something to
live for JIM!!! Now do what I tell you, OK?"
Snake: "What? I am getting really tired. All I want to do is lay down for a
while."
Jim: "BRIAN, DON'T DO THIS!!!"
Brian R: "Brian, you can still stop this if you want to. Do it for me. More
importantly, do it for Jim!!! Will you do what I tell you to
do?"
Jim: " BRIAN, I LOVE YOU!!!"
Brian is confused and beginning to get light headed. But Jim loves him!
LOVES HIM!!! Suddenly, he makes up his mind.
Snake: "Ok, what do you want me to do?"
Brian R: "I want you to go into the bathroom. What are you drinking?"
Snake: "Johnny Walker Red"
Brian R: "How much is left?"
Snake: "Hafl the bottel"
Brian R: I want you to kneel in front of the toilet. Open the lid. Then
drink the rest of the bottle as fast as you can. Then put two fingers
down your throat as far as you can get them. Understand? This is
important."
Snake: "I don't want to dring the rest of this shit. It tastes like shitt."
Brian R: "You have to. You have to make yourself throw up. NOW DO IT DAMN
IT!!!!
NOW!!!!!"
Jim: "Brian, PLEASE do as he says. DO IT FOR ME!!!!"
Brian thinks for a second, then staggers to his feet. He understands now. He
doesn't even bother to answer back. He has absolutely no problem falling to
his knees in front of his toilet. He does that on his own. He does remember
to bring the rest of the bottle of whisky with him and he fumbles with it,
almost causing it to fall to the tile floor and break. But it lands in his
lap instead.
He finally picks it up and unscrews the top. He takes one big breathe and
chugs down the remaining liquid.
Immediately, his stomach rumbles and he gags. He doesn't even have time to
lift up the toilet seat. He sure doesn't have to stick a finger down his
throat. He barely has time to lean partially towards the tub next to him, as
a stream of liquid pours out of his throat like a projectile. It goes all
over the tub and wall behind. He gags for what seems like hours, hanging on
to the side of the tub so he doesn't fall over.
Finally, he begins to get his strength back, and he turns on the cold water
and tries to wash everything he has just throw up down the drain. There is a
wash towel balled up at the end of the tub/shower. Just where he always
seems to leave it, and one more thing his Mom constantly bitches at him
about. But this time, it is right where it needs to be.
He gets it and runs it under the cold water, then washes his face with it.
Just doing that starts to bring him back to consciousness. He doesn't stop
there, he keeps it really cold and then wrings it out over his head, soaking
his hair and clothes in the process. All his bathroom floor. `Fuck the mess,
I couldn't care less` he thinks.
He finally uses the clothe to clean up as much as he can. He still feels
really sleepy and about half drunk, but finally staggers to his feet and
returns to his bedroom. And Jim. He has to talk to Jim.
Snake: "Back"
Jim: "Thank God! We were so worried."
Brian R: "Did you do what I told you to do?"
Snake: "I threw up. Is that enough? I feel like SHIT!!!"
Brian R: "The scotch did it without you having to put your fingers down
your throat, didn't it"
Snake: "Yeah. How did you know?"
Brian R: "I drank scotch one time. Same thing, Johnny Walker Red. I tried
to chug it too, and I threw up all over myself and the couch I was
sitting on. I don't know how anyone drinks that shit! Hehehe I thought
that if it did that to me, it would do that to you. You either have to
be totally stupid or old as HELL or both to enjoy scotch!"
Snake: "I think you are right. I will never do that again."
Jim: "Brian thanks so much for helping us."
Brian R: "No problem. I think I will leave you two alone now. I have one
more minor emergency. Nothing like this. Just Fridgeir and Mat
having boyfriend problems, but I had better see what I can do.
Fridgeir is kind of going crazy again. Long story."
Snake: "You don't have to go."
Brian R: "Don't you two have some things to discuss? Like loving each
other? Hehehe I don't think you need me around any more."
Jim: "Thanks Bri. I do think I would like to talk to Brian alone."
Snake: "Me too. Thanks."
Brian R: "No problem. Bye."
And he was gone. Brian and Jim did have lots more to talk about. They fell
in love that night. Well, it was a short night. Brian had absorbed enough of
the sleeping pills and alcohol that he couldn't keep his eyes open for more
than 60 more minutes. He went to bed fully clothed, but at least did
remember to take of his shoes and set his alarm clock. Jim had insisted on
both.
He set the alarm to 8 o'clock, so he could take a shower and then talk to
Jim promptly at 8:30 the next morning. Jim went to bed almost at the same
time. Both dreamed of the other, having no idea where each other really
lived. Such is life when you date over the net.
*********************
"Hi Bruce. Hi Ryan."
"He hey Ne Neal."
"Hi Neal. Gee, I'm surprised to see you over here again."
"Shu shut up, Ry Ryan. Ne Neal ca can come o over he here a an anytime he he
wa wants to."
"And I guess I have to leave now so you two can be alone."
"No, you can stay as far as I'm concerned. As long as you aren't going to be
an ass hole!" Neal replied.
"I I do don't thi think he he can b be an any anything else."
"Fine. I'll leave then. I'm going over to Rob's in case anyone wants me."
"Ryan, you can stay and finish watching the basketball game if you want."
"No, that's OK. Bruce, just tell Mom where I am, all right?"
"Su sure."
Ryan got up, climbed the stairs and was gone.
"You and Ryan don't get along very well, do you?"
"N No. Bu but we do," Bruce answered, as he got up and walked over to Neal.
"I I miss missed you," he said, as he took Neal into his arms and kissed
him.
They broke the kiss and Neal said, "I missed you too. You hadn't kissed me
since yesterday. Are you getting tired of me already?"
Bruce smiled at him and said, "Ne never. I I want to to tell ev every
everyone at sc school a about us Mon Monday."
"I don't think that would be a really good idea, do you?" Neal asked, as he
kissed Bruce once more.
"N No. I I do don't thi think I wa want any anyone know knowing a about us."
"Me either. I'm just not ready for that yet. But I do love you."
"I I lo love you you too."
Most gay people don't want anyone else knowing that they are gay. Are they
ashamed of it? No way! That is how they were born, not a choice they made.
But there is so much hate and prejudice in the world, very few are brave
enough to stand up in front of everyone, no matter what, and admit they are
gay. Bruce and Neal would soon face that choice.
To Be Continued
E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive'
comments or advice may be sent to: stan992001@hotmail.com. All e-mails will
be answered. You can also visit the young gay guys support group I created
after my "Matt and Mike" story at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/gbct or our web
site at www.gayteensunite.org. There is a forum section there where you can
enter comments about this story for everyone to see. All comments will also
be forwarded to the eleven guys from the group that are in the story.