Date: Tue, 08 Jul 2003 19:27:51 -0700
From: dude sweet <dudesweet (at) hotmail (dot) com>
Subject: The Boner Report

David and I had to come up with an idea for the 7th grade science fair for
science class. We have been friends since 4th grade. We had done every
project together in science, social studies and English.  We were good best
friends.

We couldn't come up with an idea that didn't sound boring. We thought of
everything.  Our ideas were either too much work, or too lame.  Anyway the
weekend was coming up and we forgot about it.  You can't have school
problems interfere with a good weekend.

I think rulers and measuring were on my mind, because I had lost mine and my
mom had just bought me a new one.  So Friday night, when we were goofing
around.  I said let's measure our dicks.  This wasn't as crazy as it sounds.
  We showed each other our boners and dicks before.  And we did it a lot
more recently since we started to get some hair.

So we measured.  I was 4-3/4 he was 4-7/8.  I already knew his was bigger.
But when we were standing there with our underwear at out knees and our
boners standing up straight, I got an idea.  "What if we measure everyone's
dicks.  For science class.  It would be easy, it would be fun.  Then we
could make charts and graphs." Mr. Thompsom was big on charts and graphs.

We pull up our underwear.  He thinks about my idea.  "Yeah, and we could do
averages and compare dick sizes to exact age."  He liked my idea.  We knew
that our friend Scott would do it.  He had shown dicks with us before.  So
we actually did homework, planning our project on Friday night.  A first!

We wrote it up and turned it in Monday.  Of course we didn't call it the
Boner Report. We called it Sexual Maturity in Adolescent Boys.  Sounded
official. Tuesday, he asked us to come by his room after school.

"I don't think you boys should do this report."

"Why not.  You taught us this stuff two months ago.  You said it was normal
and everything.  I think most guys would be interested."

"Well in the first place, just having measurements of...just having
measurements is not really a report.  There's not enough meat there."  We
laugh at him saying the word meat.

"Also I don't think the boys would all cooperate. Try to think some more."

So after school, we go over to his house.  We make a much better idea based
on the original idea.  We write it up.  We also call three friends to ask if
they would participate.  Two said yes.  One said it was weird, but after we
told him all answers would be confidential and we swore to god and all that,
he agreed.  So we wrote up a list.  It said I agree to participate in David
and Ryan's report on Sexual Maturity in Adolescent Boys. We started to get
guys to sign it.  We had about half the class by science class time.  We
turned in our new idea, with the list.  By the end of the day, we got all
but one kid to agree. Thursday, Mr. Thompson had us stay again.

"This is a much better idea and I see you have got the guys to go along, but
I have a couple of problems.  First I would need to see a written note from
each of your parents saying this is ok.  Second all of phase two has to be
done away from the school.  None of phase two can happen at school."

"So we can do it?"

"Yes, if you meet those requirements.  It's an interesting idea, I just
don't want to get fired."

So I tell my dad about it.  Not the details, just the name and some idea
about it.  He wrote me a note.  David typed his and had his big brother sign
it, pretending to be his dad. We took it to school.  We began phase one.  We
asked each boy to pick a special control number, so we wouldn't use their
names or anything.  Four guys wanted to be 007.  So three of them had to
pick another number.

Then we asked them to tell us how big their penis was when it was erect (we
used science words). We also got their birthday so we could figure out
exactly how old they were.  We wrote all this next to their secret numbers.
One kid said he hadn't measured it in a week, so he wanted to tell us the
next day. LOL.  We got some crazy answers.  From 3-7/8 to 6-1/2. Perfect.

You see phase two was measuring them ourselves.  The report was really about
how boys lie about their dick sizes. I hoped some of them lied.  So after
school we invited Scott and Erik over.  We pulled out the ruler and said it
was time to find out who was lying and who was telling the truth.  After
showing them both our boners, they pulled out theirs.  We measured them.  It
was fun.  Scott told the truth.  Erik lied by half an inch.  It took us
two weeks to get alone with every boy (except the one who wasn't in it) and
measure their dicks.

One guy wouldn't do it.  We figured either he lied a lot or was just very
shy.  But we got every else to do it.

So our results showed that 58% of the boys lied by at least 1/4 of an inch.
That's what we thought would happen.  So we got an A on our report and a lot
of fun looking at boners.