Date: Fri, 1 Mar 2013 07:38:10 +0000
From: chuck haugan <chuckles97@live.com>
Subject: Boys by the Bay / Part 5 / Nightmares

This is a short story of the life of a kid growing up in the late 70`s.
This whole thing is nothing more than one big lie!  This is why we call it
fiction.  So, none to the names or places should be considered real.

Having said that, if you are prohibited from reading sexual content due to
age, banned by local law, or have issue with reading stories of people
engaging in sex within the following pages, stop reading now and go find
the Disney page.  This bit of fiction is not for you!  You are warned!

All the copy rights and legal crap that normally apply and sited for
stories posted here also apply to this story.  This story can not be
reproduced without the consent of the author.

Please support Nifty.org with donations and contribute some scribbles...
It's kind of fun.




Chapter 5: Nightmares



"Oh my, valets," Mom observed as we waited at the circle at the top of the
hill above the Carlson's driveway.

"What's that?"  Chris asked.

"They park the cars for the guests, honey.  This must be some party.  Can
you get me in Jon?"

"Very funny Mom," I didn't like that she yelled at me for getting Chris in
the party.  I felt sorry for the valets as they had to wear black pants and
what looked like heavy red, suit jackets and ties atop their white oxford
shits.  It was eighty degrees outside and the Buick's air conditioner was
deducting another four miles a gallon from Dad's wallet trying to keep us
cool.

"Hello there and welcome, we'd like to invite you to have a seat beside the
gate and we'll drive your party down to the grounds in the next few
minutes.  May I have your name for the key tag and log book?" the college
aged kid asked my mother.

"Oh, no thank you.  I'm the chuffer for the two princes in back," she
replied with a wink at the kid.

"Very well, Miss.  Could I have your names to check off our guest list?

"Petersen and Aflotti"

He scanned the note pad, "Gentlemen, welcome.  Please have a seat and
there's some refreshments in the cooler behind the chairs.  A cart will be
up any minute to take you to the main house.  Welcome."

Mom turned to me as the kid checked our names off his clipboard and raised
her eyebrows while blinking like a stuck up bitch with her nose in the air.
"Bye, Mama!"  I bid as I made sure she could see me roll my eyes at her
dumb attempt at humor.  I hated it when she treated me like a little boy.

"Thanks for taking me Mrs. Petersen...  Thanks a million!"

"You boys behave yourselves!"

My Mom talked with the young valet for a few more minutes before driving
off.  I found that odd.  I hoped she didn't ask for him to keep an eye on
me or something stupid.

An eight seat golf cart sped up the brick drive as Chris surveyed the cars
the valets had parked along the county road and in the pasture which we now
knew was owned by the Carlson's: BMW, Mercedes, Volvo, Saab 900, Datsun
280Z, and the usual American muscle cars were scattered amongst the family
wagons.  There were about thirty cars in the field with five or six along
the road.

"I was expecting Rolls Royce and Mercedes Benz."

"I didn't know you were into cars," I replied.

"Are they really that rich?"

"Yeah.  You won't believe this place."

The golf cart stopped in front of us and we were instructed to get aboard
along with two couples in their mid thirties who wanted as much distance
from us as possible.  We took the back seats so we could experience getting
somewhere in reverse.  The driver sucked.  He only went along at 10 or 15
miles per hour so every brick seemed to jar my butt.

"What's their problem?" Chris asked when we got off the cart as his eyes
darted around the car circle and the house.

"I think they're worried somebody would think we're there's or something.
I guess."

I recognized Mr. and Mrs. Carlson as they stood and chatted a few feet
inside the foyer.  They shook hands and greeted the two couple who seemed
to be employees of Mr. Carlson.  His face lit up when he saw me and Chris
hovering about the car circle.

"Boys!  Come over here, Welcome!"

We walked over.

"Don't be shy.  You are the little defenseman, Jon, who allows the top line
to attack!  And, this must be Christopher!"  He grabbed our hands to shake.

"Hello boys!"  Mrs. Carlson greeted us with a clear sober voice.

"Thanks for inviting us Mr. and Mrs. Carlson."

"Oh, sure, no mention.  We have so much for you to do.  Did you bring swim
gear?"

"Umm.  I forgot."  I admitted.

"Mine's under my shorts," Chris offered up to much information and
Mrs. Carlson smiled and ruffled his hair.

"We can dig some of Brad's up... Oh, down in the boat house, hanging on the
back wall are some shorts.  He won't mind a bit.  There's refreshments and
treats throughout the house and grounds.  Eventually you'll run into Jan
and the others. I'd try the pool or beach.  Fire works start as soon as the
sun is down.  Some of the kids brought their own but, please, please, be
careful and considerate, if you light any up."  Mr. Carlson was far
friendlier then the last time I visited.

"Welcome, boys.  Have fun," Mrs. Carlson bid as she lightly shook our
shoulders.

We walked through the foyer which had a clearstory to a vaulted heavy
timber ceiling.  We continued into the great room where sleek, Danish,
furniture lined the room over hardwood floors and huge rugs that looked
like something from a palace.  Everything about the public space seemed
modern.  There were a few people chatting here as most were on the massive
sundeck beyond.  We stepped out and Chris just stared blankly at the scale
of the gardens, house, and people milling about.

I gave his arm a nudge and we weaved through the adults to find some fun.
We wandered up to the pool where we found twenty something's and teenagers
with a few old farts sipping hard drinks that were served from the cabana
bar.  A few younger kids were splashing about with the teens but we wanted
our own age group and preferably male to hang with.

We found five boys throwing rocks at an imaginary foe in the bay.  This was
kids stuff and I felt stupid joining in but here was my host launching
rocks and I didn`t want to be rude: this was his party.  We joined the pack
without any greetings other than comments about distance, velocity, and
accuracy of some of the efforts of our companions.  Names were learned on
the fly as the game progressed.

Kenny was as Jan described him: precocious.  He was the same height as Jan
but had sandy blond hair with brown eyes.  He was deeply tanned from
countless hours roaming the beach and engaging in any from of trouble.  It
was obvious from his confidence and leadership that he was calling the
shots as the kids lobbed rocks at a piece of driftwood they deemed the
Bismarck.

Chris was instantly on board with the contest as he and Kenny were now in
completion of accuracy of hits on the Nazi war machine.  It was cool to see
Chris morph into a little kid with every rock he threw.  He was always
trying to be like us.  And now, I had some insight of how he might be
amongst his own age group at school.  He was two grades below us and I
always knew he had two modes of behavior.  He didn't even look to me for
guidance of his knew surroundings.  He was on board with the others and
speaking their language: fuck the old dude it's time to play!

Jan came beside me and gave me a nudge.  I put him in a headlock.  Kids are
ruthless as pecking order is established.  I was the tallest and oldest of
this pack.  Fuck him, even if he is the host, I`m top dog!

Eventually the naval battle ended and we were sprawled out on the
trampoline, at rest, after a couple of bouts of full contact hopping.  As
we rested, the youngest kid, Karl, hopped up to be with us.  He was seven
and timid since his older brother seemed to torment him, at every
opportunity.  He clung to me and Kenny for protection.  Being a youngest
child, I felt his pain and tried to be diplomatic, when his brother tried
to pick on him.  It was mostly name calling but I could sense there was
genuine fear in Karl's eyes, when his brother started in on him.  I
wondered what happened to the poor kid at home.

Their conversations ranged from TV shows, cartoons, the Sonics, and how
stupid it was to have a baseball team play indoors at the King Dome.
Typical crap conversations of 9 to 11 year old kids.  I knew I was getting
older.  It wasn't that I didn't relate to their conversation: it was so
random and unfocused as every kid interrupted another in mid-sentence with
a new thought which steered the conversation into a new universe.
Somewhere, in the last year, I had become a tenth of a grown up and would
attempt to stay on subject to find resolution.

Kenny announced it was time to invade the swimming pool.  Most of the kids
were in their bathing suites or wore them below their shorts.  In fifteen
seconds, shorts, shirts, shoes and socks were flying off the trampoline to
the grass below as the kids disrobed and hopped off.  Karl, Jan, and I
stayed put.

"Karl, buddy, don't you want to swim?" I asked.

"I hate pools.  Curtis always pushes my head under...  He's really mean."

Jan and I got him talking about everything from rockets to Daffy Duck.  It
became the "Ask Karl Anything" show.  Watching his expressions and
excitement of being the center of attention was priceless.  Karl was the
kind of kid I'd want for a kid brother: all energy and sweetness.  Some
people are complete morons or God is a prick for the curse of sibling
rivalries.

My brother was the oldest of us four.  He always protected me from the two
evil sister's dress up games, moods, meanness, and, at times, fists.  He's
my hero.  He taught me how to skate backwards when I was five, how to poke
check effectively when I was eight, and, before he left for university via
a hockey scholarship, how to fight at ten (not on ice: to take care of
myself).  When my parents weren't around, he was there.

I imagined what it would be like to teach Karl some of that stuff.  To
watch this kid go through all the frustrations of controlling his growing
body and then his elation of success.  When I was his age, my brother would
pick me up and spin around the ice with every success.  When I was nine, I
had to take a penalty shot to break a tied game.  It was the first time
coach gave me the honor tap.  I was number three of five shooters.  Waiting
my turn was harder than the shot.  As I skated down the ice, all I could
see was Will doing his patented drag, and flip over the goalies left pad.
Once I skated left, I went to auto pilot.  I swear I only remember glancing
at the goalies eyes to figure his next move.  As I skated around the goal,
there was the puck, buried at the back of the net.  I couldn't believe it.
I had watched Will practice the move countless times and had goofed with it
during shoot arounds.  As I skated past my brother at the glass, he was
screaming and pumping his fist and I could see a little tear leave his
right eye he wiped it away.  We lost the game but Will didn't care about
that.

"Bugs Bunny sucks," Karl proclaimed.

"NO WAY!" Jan interjected, "The old Bugs is so funny!  You know?  The one
where dresses up like a belly dancer and Elmer-"

"Karl!  There you are!" His fat mother had snuck up on us as we were turned
away from the grass path.  There was no telling how long she was listening
to this meaningless babble.  "You should be at the pool.  Come on."  She
held her hands out for him to climb down.

"Do I have to?  Can't I stay here with Jan and Jon?"

"We'll go to... Meet you up there.  I have to find some swimmers.  Okay?"

He nodded as his Mom's arms wrapped around him to pull him from the
trampoline.  Once she had him in her arms she mouthed "Thanks boys."  And
we smiled.  She's so lucky to have such a nice little kid.  It was to bad
she didn't realize her oldest is a complete ass wipe.

When she turned to drop her son to the ground, Karl had a huge smile.  I
remembered the feeling of Mom coming to find me.  In the back of my mind, I
wanted freedom but my fears were relieved when she'd track me down.  Just
six years ago I was in Karl's shoes.  In a way, I wished for that kind of
comfort again.

We walked down to the boat house to find a pair of Brad's swimmers.  As I
feared, they were Speedos and, thankfully, a size to big.  I liked gym
shorts because it was easier to hid a random erection.  Jan wasn't wearing
his swimmers either and suggested we head up to the cabana to change.  I
couldn't wait to see his body again.  My fantasies of Pat and Tom kept
worming their way into my dreams between Chris's visits.  Boys at the
Academy, on the bus, all around me were playing steroidal naked games at
younger ages than I and I had missed out.  Sometimes, I'd imagine what it
would be like to suck David or Collin when I was ten or eleven.  Would it
feel and taste the same?  I began to think of possible ways to lure Jan
into some fun, just to see.  Based on Brad's comments about him, I thought,
"If he wants it, I'll give it!"

"That's where Dennis stays...  In the A frame," he pointed to a cedar
sheathed cottage sized house a few yards down a path.  "He's not home!
Come on!"  Jan sprinted down the path and I followed.

"Jan, what's your deal?  If he's not home, who cares?"

"Come here...  Stand here," he demanded as he looked around to make sure no
one could see as he reached below a clapboard for a hidden key.  "He lets
me in... for visits, all the time.  We hang out.  It's why I don't have
many kids over.  We're like best friends or something."

"Dennis gets to stay here?  Wow.  Where do I sign up?  Can you get me a
job?" I took in the garden and quality of the little place: like everything
here, there was no doubt no expense was too great to spoil their guests:
flower boxes, Adirondack chairs on the patio in front of the house, and all
of the finishes appeared new and detailed to perfection.

He unlocked the door and we quickly went in, Jan shut the door and relocked
it.  There was a distinct smell in here: unwashed feet, moldy cheese and
body odor.  Young men are pigs and the stench was one level lower than a
dorm room.  Everything seemed gray and brown since he pulled all the
curtains probably due to all the guests roaming the grounds.  As I looked
the place over I noticed he was like Ilya: the place was full of books,
none on shelves but stacked everywhere, some open in piles, others with
markers sticking out from their spines, and over on the small kitchen table
several open books surrounded his note pad.  Behind the table was an eight
foot series of kitchen cabinets and appliances.  Where we stood was a
living area equipped with a couch and a couple of wing back chairs.  The
ceilings were exposed pine over three huge beams.  The steep angle of the
"A frame" seemed extreme from the floor.  There was no television but I
recognized a Denon component stereo because my brother drooled over it at
Magnolia Hi-Fi over Christmas break.  It was at least seven hundred dollars
of equipment.  Apparently the Carlson's paid him well.

Jan led me through the living area to the bathroom that was aside a set of
stairs that went to the loft above the kitchen and bathroom.  As with most
young males, the lid was up and piss stains were present around the inner
rim of the toilet.  Jan pulled the front of his shorts down and asked,
"Want to pee? "

I hadn't shared a toilet since I was an eight year old with David.  It
saves time and we always had some urgent task to get on with or didn`t want
to miss the puck drop if we were in the midst of an in period TV time out
of a hockey game.  It felt weird but it also felt right to do this with
Jan.  I thought this is what all boys do, at one time or another.  I really
wanted him as a friend for life.  So, I stepped up and whipped it out.  The
second my stream hit the bowl, Jan released his and he started merging our
flow.  We both giggled.

"I like your dick."

"What?"

"Brad and Dennis have too much hair...  I like that little patch.  I hope I
never get hairy.  If I do, I will shave it off just like when whiskers come
out of my face, when I`m older...  I don't want to get old.  I want to stay
like this."

"Yeah...  It's kind of gross.  Everything starts to stink.  My mom bought
me Right Guard a few months ago.  And you have to wash everyday or you'll
end up looking like Billy: all zitted up and smelly.  It's weird, I thought
the same thing... I didn't want any hair down there and then everyone else
got some before me and then all I wanted was hair and for everything to get
bigger"

"I don't see what's so hot about it.  So what, you're a big boy... So
what!"

I nodded my head.

We shook our cocks and Jan pulled his shorts down as he stepped out of his
flip flops and shorts in one motion.

"Lets finish the tour of the house!"  He yelled with a laugh and took off
running out of the bathroom.  I figured the kid runs around naked most of
the summer so this really isn't a big deal to him.  He just wants a little
freedom.

I followed him out and he sprinted up the stairs.  His little boy buns were
solid from swimming, play on his trampoline and had no fatty bounce as he
leapt form stair to stair.  I walked up to find him jumping up and down on
Dennis's queen sized bed.  My eye were drawn to the comforter: a bigger
version of the one I'd wrestled with years ago.  If a boy could love an
inanimate object, that blue velour comforter would be it- not a bike, car,
skateboard or sled!

"Get naked...  We do that around here all the time.  I just want to see
what you look like."  He practically demanded as he pealed off his polo
shirt while he continued hop as his junk slapping him with every bounce.

"Jan, this might not be a good idea.  What if somebody's looking for us?
Brad told me you guys only do the naked thing when company isn`t around.  I
don`t want us in trouble."

"No big deal.  Nobody can get in here.  I have the key!  Mom and Dad are
too busy to come looking.  Even if Chris asked, they'd send one of the
house people to look and they can't get in!.  Best friends should know
everything about each other.  See?  I have nothing to hide!"

He stopped bouncing and watch me look him up and down.  His penis rose to
attention in three massive throbs.  Boys are amazing how fast they bone up.
"Come on!  Here I am!" He sang waiving his hands to show off his stiffy.

I thought about it for a second, "He saw most everything of interest as we
shared the bowl peeing.  What was the difference, if I pulled my shirt and
shorts completely off?  And, if he wants to mess around, why not, he'll be
eleven soon."  My boundaries were being expanded by a few months as my
curiosity of Pat and Tom were eating at me.  This is what I wanted: sex
with mini-Brad.  What a lucky kid: he'd be able to fuck any girl or have
any guy on his knees sucking with his amazing body and money.  He didn't
have defined muscles yet but the flat tummy and lean build were of perfect
young male lines.

I pulled my polo off, kicked my Beta's off my feet, and then remembered how
David and I played this naked game before changing into our pajamas, when
we were younger than Jan.  I started humming the rhythm of "There's a place
in France, Where the naked ladies dance," poem.  Jan started laughing like
a mad man as he sat in the middle of the bed with his legs crossed and
penis pointing at his chin.

I unsnapped the button of my tennis shorts and bent to peel off my left
sock.  I did a 360 as I hummed and tossed the sock over his head.  Then, I
unzipped my fly and bent to do the same with the right sock.  I wiggled my
hips to drop my shorts and Jan stopped laughing.  I turned my back to him,
simply dropped my whiteys and stopped humming.  I turned to him with a
jump.  He stared at it.  I could tell he never really got what he wanted
when we were on the trampoline or bathroom.  He wanted to see my erection.

"Wow!  Cool!  Not as big as Dennis or Brad," he said with a gulp of
nervousness, as he looked at my hard cock, "I like that...  Their's look...
I can't explain...  Your's is kind of like mine only bigger."

I looked down and my cock was at full mast.  This was one of those hard ons
like the graveyard.  I could feel that paralyzing feeling beginning at the
base of my skull.  I shook my head.  "Well, you have one and boners
happen...  Even Brad gets-em.  Right?"

"Yeah.  Ummm.  I like them better when they stick up.  It`s more,
interesting.  Limpy ones I see everyday at school...  I get boners all the
time at school.  Brad gets mad at me.  I can`t help it... just happens."

"Your's looks like your brother's, when it's soft...  Ummm.  I seen him
with a boner last time I was here...  He's just bigger cuz he's older."

"Come on," he grabbed me by the forearm and pulled as I stayed put on the
floor.

"Why?  Where?  You've seen me: now what?"  I asked as he let go and started
jumping on the bed again.

My eyes went to Jan's cock that was so hard it didn't even seem to jar as
he launched and landed.  His little marble testicals bounced in their sack
with each leap.

"Come on," he extended his hands like he had when he demonstrated the
trampoline last week.  "There's so much head room up here.  Come on."

I reached up and he grabbed my hands and played as if he had all my weight
as I stepped up on the bed.  Only this time, he didn't begin our bouncing.
He held my hands and stared down at my junk.  He then pulled our arms
between us and then shot them out to our side as he took a step forward
bringing our bodies within a few inches.  "If we both jump, I think the bed
will fall apart," he said this with his face a few inches from my chest.  I
could feel his breath bounce off my chest just below my pecks and the heat
of his little body climb up me.

"What are you doing?"

"Ummm...  May I touch your hairs?  What do they feel like?  May I?
Please?" He gave me a little boy, sad, puppy dog, look.  I think he had
about six more months of that move left in his arsenal before he'd outgrow
the sympathy/ love effect.

"Well... Okay.  Just don't pull on them or anything."

He looked up and smiled.  He rubbed up both sides of my tuft, tickled his
fingers through, and then took his index fingers and traced around the base
of my mound.

"So, these things grow on top first and then start growing on your balls"
he observed as he dropped to his knees.  He then cupped my balls to move
them aside to look between my legs.  "Nothing here yet..."  He looked at
the tip of my cock and started biting in its direction with his teeth
clicking.

"You better not bite...  I'll pop you one!"

In a flash he dropped my balls and his mouth covered my cock.

"Holy Shiiiiiiittt!  Jan!  You! Little! Shit!"  I gasped as he sucked four
or five times as hard as he could and pulled off.

"Everyone likes that!  I know you've done that before!"

"How do you know?"  I asked in a panic thinking of Dennis as my head was
instantly back on Earth after the sensation of his heat.

"Birdies told me."

"Jan, this is serious shit, HOW DO YOU KNOW!"

"Calm down!  Shit!  I was spying on Brad.  He was messing with Kerry on the
trampoline, after it got dark...  Last week...  He.. He put her hand down
his shorts like they did a couple of weeks back."

"You spy on your brother?"

He nodded. "And she started rubbing on it... And then...  He asked her to
kiss it.  He pulled his shorts down... She held on to it and started
rubbing up and down with one hand and said `No way.'  She got on top of him
and, like, moved all over the top of his dick.  She kept her bottoms
on... She just rubbed over his bare dick and did this."  He wiggled his
hips in a circular motion, "She did that for a few minutes while he was
telling her even you had one already...  She didn't do it...  After Brad
got the white stuff out all over this tummy, she got off the top of him.
And, he put his finger up in her... Like from the side of her bikini
bottoms...  She, like, moaned really loud after a while and they got up and
left."

"WOW!  He`s one lucky fuck...  He didn't say who and where I did it, did
he?"

Jan shook his head.

Brad was pushing her for sex for months.  There's no way he'd frame me as a
fag after the conversation we had.  I knew Jan would spy on Brad, if there
was even a hint of Brad trying get in her pants.  That would motivate me or
any boy into James Bond mode.

It finally sunk in that Jan's one of those dishrag kids of the dorms that
Brad described and that set my mind at ease.  Dennis would be to smart to
say anything about our encounter.  He even tried to pay me off to keep my
mouth shut.  There's no way he'd jeopardize his future by spilling to a
brat kid who may rat him out.  I was convinced Dennis had nothing to do
with Jan's move.

"Okay...  Ummm.  I can't believe he used my name to try to get her to do
something like that...  That's kind of cool.  Wow...  Brad used me in a
pick up line!  So, you've done this kind of thing before, haven`t you?  At
the academy?"

He nodded.  "My best friend does it with me all the time."

"What makes you think you can do it with me?"

"I don't know," he paused.  "I know something you don't know!" he sang
almost at the top of his voice as he drew on my chest using his index
finger as an imaginary crayon.

"What?"  This was getting weird.  This little boy was seducing me and I
wasn't going numb like with Dennis.  I absolutely knew and could feel
everything we were doing.  Maybe I was just more comfortable with a younger
boy or he drew me out with the shock of discovery.

"You like getting sucked?"  I nodded, when he took a peak up at me.  I
could feel my cock starting to tingle and my hips bucked backward as I felt
a blast of lube flow down my shaft to the tip as I waited for the next
question.  "You like getting stroked?"  I nodded.  "You like rubbing it all
over somebody else?"  I nodded.  "Then...  Then!  THEN! You're going to
love fucking me!"

"What!  We're boys!  MORON!"

Jan hopped off the bed and ran down to the bathroom.  I was shocked and
stayed planted.  I heard his feet start bounding back up the stairs and I
stepped off the bed to meet him.

"We'll see who the moron is!"  he set the box on the bed and sat down.  He
held his hands up and flapped his fingers from me to come close.  "Boys can
do it.  We can do it.  It's called corn holing."

"You're nuts!  Corn hole?  Jan?  We have dorm rules right?"

"Yeah, yeah.  Our secret.  But, you have to do what I say."

"Ummm...  Brad told me about the dorms and stuff...  I'm up for some fun.
I can't believe you want to do this with me."  I realized the complete
benefit of Jan as I looked at his rock hard penis: It would be like living
my early fantasies of Pat and Tom.  I was going to taste, feel, smell and
hear what they gave each other.  I couldn't wait to suck him in.  Jan was a
dream come true.

I jumped off the bed, pushed him over , dragged him by the ankles to the
side of the bed and dove my head to him to take him in my mouth.  His taste
was clean with the flavor of sucking my thumb after a workout.  He wasn't
into full blown puberty so his scent was a bit sour rather than musky.  His
rock hard penis was the diameter of a bubble gum cigar.  I loved that he
was only three inches at the most so I could grip and feel every groove and
ripple of his narrow cock with my tongue as he pumped away.

I kept my eyes focused on his smooth skin and tummy muscles working as his
hands found the top of my head and he pushed to force me to deeper contact.
His little boy moans and gasps were getting me off more than sucking him.
It was like he didn't care of the outside world finding us.  He probably
had no concept of what the adults, peers or family would do if they found
us.

I could feel him throb as his torso raised off the bed he screamed out with
a laugh, "There it is! OHHHHH YEAH!"  And, he fell back on the bed as his
orgasm crashed.  There was only a slight taste of sweet salt as a reward:
he couldn't shoot yet.

Pat and Tom were lucky kids.  I couldn't imagine what their first
experience was like.  My first orgasm was so intense.  Best friends trying
something out they heard about on the bus.  I could imagine them going at
it with all the energy and play of Jan: screaming, pumping, and all for the
fun of it since there would be no hang ups of guilt.  God, to be so young
and discovering the pleasure of another.  I wondered why most boys make the
discovery as I did and then don't share the secret.  What a dumb ass I was.

 Then I thought of Jan.  I wish I went to the Academy!  You could suck off
a different kid every night and that kid would be so damn grateful.

He recovered after a few minutes.  I sat beside him and watched his chest
heave.  I put my hand just above his belly button to feel his heat and
strength.  I wished I was two years younger so I could hang with him
everyday.  I thought it was weird enough that Chris was around me all the
time, now.  It would be even stranger if I dumped all my friends for a ten
year old.

"You're good at that.  But, you need to fuck.  It's better than sucking."

He pulled a tiny translucent bottle out of the box and squeezed a couple of
drops of clear solution on his palm.  He grabbed my dick with that hand and
rubbed it into my skin.  He was jacking me with something that was slicker
than hand lotion.  My hands found his shoulders to brace myself.  He peaked
up at me and smiled.  Then he put two more drops on the tip of my cock.
All I could do is watch.  I was speechless since this little kid obviously
knew what he was doing and what he wanted and I didn't!

He laid back on the bed and motioned me to move back.  He scooted forward
and then his legs slowly rose above him and then where grasped by his arms.
Between his crack wasn't tan and there was his red hole in front of me as I
peered down.  I figured it out.

"Jan...  Ummm... You want me to put my dick in there?  Ummmm... No!  I
thought I could but... NO!"

"Look.  We do it all the time.  It's not gross.  Just do it!  If feels
really good when you fuck a hole!"

"Jan that's sick!  You shit out of there!  I'll be walking around with shit
on my dick!  Fucking SICK"

He unfolded himself.  "I said the same thing.  Believe me, it's not like
that at all.  Catholic girls do this so they're always virgins!  GIRLS do
this all the time!  Just...  Do you want to know what a cunt kinda feels
like?  This is as close as a guy can get, only...  It's better!  Believe
me!"

"Yeah but it's shit!  I mean... Shit!"

"I'll wash you off and we can even shower here!  Just do it!  You won't be
sorry: I promise."

I thought about it as I surveyed his lean body.  The idea that Catholics
did this seemed as wrong as any lie I ever detected.  They believed in
Christ, Old and New Books, and that Pope dude.  There was no way.  And, I
never heard any of the guys talk about this on the bus!  It couldn't be
true.

"Why would Catholics do that?  You're full of shit."

"So they won't have a baby.  It's like birth control.  If a guy does this
instead of putting it in a girls cunt, she won't have a baby.  It's so
grown ups can do sex all the time.  Boys can do that to each other!  You
don't need a girl!  Believe me, it's the best thing ever!  Come on!  Let's
do it!  You do me and I`ll do you after only if you liked it...  I`ll know
cuz you`re going to want to do it again and again and AGAIN!"

What he said kind of made sense because I heard about Pope John Paul and
all the stuff in the news about birth control.  I knew it was a pill women
took but wasn't sure about everything else that surrounded the issue.  I
knew Catholics couldn't use any birth control, no matter what, even though
I knew Catholic families who had a couple of children instead of a heard.
With my urge of needing to get off at any and every opportunity, I knew
there was no way I could survive on just my hand.  So how could a Catholic
guy hold out, if he`d had sex in a pussy?  He'd be on his wife at every
opportunity and she'd be pushing out a kid every nine months.  Even Dennis
said wives won't blow their husbands and Brad tried to get Kerry to suck
and she wouldn't.  Maybe this is what girls did instead of sucking or
fucking.  Brad was barking up the wrong tree.

"Ummm...  I guess I could try..."  I hesitated thinking about something
going up my butt once I`d finished.  After Dennis had played with me, a few
days latter, I tried to put my finger in there while I jacked.  It felt
really good when I swirled around like Dennis had.  But, the instant I
tried to push inside, every ridge of my finger print felt like a grain of
sandpaper.  Every millimeter was uncomfortable and I only imagined that no
pleasure would come of probing deeper.  I did like the sensation of feeling
my whole body jerking and clenching with my shots.  So, I messed around
with rubbing around the hole during orgasm but gave up with messing around
there after a few days.

He quickly flipped on his back, locking his legs with his left arm as he
grabbed his legs and brought his right arm up to his red hole and squired a
stream of the liquid on both inner cheeks so that it funneled over his
hole.  He then took his index finger in his hole and worked the pool of
lubrication around and into his opening.

"Put a couple of drops on the tip and I'll lower my bottom so you can put
it in...  You will love this!"  He said as he grabbed a pillow and raised
up a little to position it beneath his lower back.  He'd definitely done
this thing tons in his short life.

I did as ordered and got up on the bed, scooted up in front of his display,
and he lowered down to exactly the right angle for me to plunge.  "When you
push it in, hold on to it... On the shaft part and push hard...  It will go
in, don't worry cuz I`m gonna push out...  It will open up and in it goes."

I placed a hand to one side of his body to steady me and allow me to pear
at my entry.  As I wiggled my cock over his opening, every bump of his anus
was felt by the tip of my cock head on the surface.  I could sense there
was intense heat pulsing through him as I rubbed around and I suddenly
wanted in him more than anything.

I tentatively pushed forward while holding my shaft and my dick slid over
his rim.  Trying again, I gripped my shaft and placed my thumb at the rim
of my cock head to try and force my way in using my hand for leverage.  He
opened up and the tip of my dick slid into his tight fire.  I pushed
forward and he gasped as his hands rose to find my shoulders.  I was buried
in him with my hips pressing against his butt cheeks.

I was completely still.  I could hear my heart beating and could feel his
pulse through my cock.  His hole clenched my shaft.  My connection with him
seemed more than physical: it felt like we were complete.  In a way, I felt
like I was part of him.  Further in him, the feel was of a slippery, tight,
sock only silken, smooth, and of pulsing plushness.  I had no experience of
raw flesh's heat and suppleness.  He flexed his hole a few times around my
shaft but the feel of what lay beyond was like opium.  How could I be so
stupid as not to think of this?  How long have people been doing this?
Those boys on the bus are complete morons for not knowing of this amazing
place on their bodies.

We were so still as I took in the feel at the end of my cock.  His life
pulse around my cock.  I could stay in him for hours completely motionless
and be the happiest boy on the face of the planet.  At the same instant of
pleasure, I thought about basic anatomy I'd learned in the sixth grade.  I
became both disturbed and disgusted by where my cock rested.  Was shit
flowing up my urethra?  Was I planted in the middle of a turd?

I didn't think I had taken a breath or opened my eyes to him, since I slid
inside.  When I peered down at him, he smiled up to me.  At that moment, I
wanted to runaway from my family and hide in the Carlson's garden, just to
please Johann, at his whim.  Boys will run the easiest path of resistance
or best source of pleasure and I was no exception.  I'd be his sex slave:
no argument.

His gaze went up somewhere to the ceiling as he breathed from his half open
mouth.  He was as captivated by having me in him as I was of being there.
His eyes kept bouncing off objects over my shoulders as he must have been
trying to adjust to me.  He flexed against my shaft a couple more times,
"Move! You need to move in and out.  What are you waiting for?  Fuck me!"
he demanded.

One pull of my hips was enough to understand why Catholics were doing this.
There were muscles that seemed to be an inch or two into him that grasped
the base of my shaft.  As I pulled away the squeeze rose up my shaft to the
edges of my cock head witch prompted me to ram myself back into Jan.  The
softness of his insides slid over my cock head with no resistance and such
a light pressure of his body beyond.  I took very light and short strokes
to feel his deepness completely before I began to "fuck" him as ordered.

I couldn't manage much of a rhythm as I plunged and pulled.  Sometimes, I'd
hesitate before pulling back or stop for a breath or two after my hips
landed on his butt cheeks.  There seemed to be a new sensation or nerve
endings that was stimulated with each stroke at the end of my cock.  I held
my breath as I pulled and the my mind spun as my cock head hit his band of
muscles at his opening.  On the push back into him, the slimy silkiness of
raw flesh tweaked and tingled all my penis nerves Not one square millimeter
of my penis was without attention.

Something snapped deep in the center of my brain: it was primal.  My hips
took off as the end of my cock felt charged with energy.  The faster I
pounded the more the charge grew in intensity.  Unlike simply masturbating,
the energy was deeper inside me.  I could feel a cool sweat on the small of
my back, ass crack, and then at my forehead but that sensation only lasted
for an instant.  My penis was charging up to heights I'd never experienced.
I could feel my toes curl like a cramp.  My stomach muscles drove my hips
into Jan with force that caused our slapping flesh to echo in my ears.

Climax was a huge pulse or movement from my body out the end of my cock
that cuased my back to lock and a yelp that stopped short as I couldn`t
find the strength to take a breath.  My head pounded so hard the sound and
feel almost overshadowed the current of discharge from my cock.  There
seemed to be one massive blast and then hundreds of little spasms of mini
orgasms as my stomach muscles locked up.

The orgasm seemed to last longer then anything I'd ever experienced.  It
was like I gave Jan part of me: more than a deposit of cum in a dudes
mouth.  As I lay there, locked to him, I felt my right ball, pull from my
body with an almost painful slick pop.  It seemed my entire body and mind
had retracted to my core during the experience.  I could feel every part of
me slowly wander back into proper order as my heart and breathing seemed to
come to normal a few minutes later.

"My turn," he whispered in my ear.

I could feel an electric field from head to toe: my whole body seemed to
lightly tingle as I came down a little more.  My mouth and lips felt dry
yet, I wanted to love Jan the way I did Chris.  I raised my head and kissed
him at the bridge of the nose and down to his lips.  He shook his head as
soon as I brushed his lower lip.  He was like Jon: he only wanted to get
off.

I stayed mounted inside of him as that familiar numb feeling began to take
over my brain from the electric aftershock of my first "Corn Holing."

"MY TURN," he hissed in my ear.

I was still hard inside him.  "I'm not done," as I spit that out,
everything he said began to fall in place.  "Dennis told you about me?"

"What?"

"You said you did this with your best friend.  You said he's your best
friend.  Nobody I know has ever heard of this!  How the fuck do you know
anything about birth control?  An adult told you!  DENNIS!"

"So what!"

"You lied about Brad and Kerry?"

"NO!  He said that and they did that stuff."

"What did Dennis tell you?"

"Ummm...  Yeah, that he gave you...  a blow job...  Your first...  He said
you shot in his mouth...  I've had Dennis do that...  It tastes like tin
foiled, cream only feels like...  syrup- I guess.  He said you like me,
Brad and him...So, I wanted to do you first.  Before him...  Why are you
mad?"

I processed this for a split second.  "So, you and Dennis do...  Dennis
does this to you?"

"Yeah...  I'm the only one...  But he said we'd all be doing it together.
Hurry up and get off me!  I want to do you!  Just...  Please lets do it...
If you don`t want to do it with Dennis you don`t have to...  I won`t tell
him about this...  I thought you liked him like you like me."

"Dennis does this to you all the time, doesn't he?"

"What are you talking about?  You're doing it.  It's what real friends do
and it's our secret...  Dennis told me cuz I do it with him and he said
he'd get you too.  He wanted me to invite you over today so I could invite
you next week...  I'd play sick and he'd drop Brad off at swim or
something.  And we'd all be together.  You did it with Dennis.  I just
wanted to do it with you...  I couldn't wait.  GET OFF!  Please...  I want
to stick it in!"  He tried to wiggle and push me off.

"Let me guess... You'd lie.  Tell me he's not here next week... Right?"

"Ummmm...  He didn't say that...  What's the difference?  Feels the best to
have your dick in there, doesn't it...  Get off...  I can't wait to put it
in you... Please!"  He shoved at me like I was playing some kind of game.

I began to thrust in him again.  As I churned, the thought of a man telling
a ten year old boy to lie for him weighed heavy on my mind.  Even as a kid,
I knew something was very wrong beyond the fact I told him to stay the fuck
away from me.  My reaction was rage due to confusion and anger of Jan`s
lie.  I knew in his mind, it was about some competition with Dennis.  He
won. So, he decided to spill his guts as he reveled in his victory of
bagging me first.  He thought I was on his "team."  To him, the joke was on
Dennis.  He was to young to take my feelings into consideration.  Dennis
was fucking him and, probably, doing all the stuff I did with Chris so,
what we were doing was nothing new...  I couldn't believe it.  Jan's ten
years old!

Rage cuts through all of life's morals and laws I`d ever learned.  Very
simply, I wanted to kill him: both of them.  This was not the same emotion
I had during my early morning shower fantasy.  My rage was something I
didn't understand.  It was instant and overwhelming.  I placed my left
forearm across his throat and was about to press into him when reality set
in to pull me back.

I started ramming into him as hard as my muscles could slam.  I did this
slowly and harshly.  Jan's face had changed to fear.  His hands dug into my
shoulders as he tried to push me off.  I kept slamming him.  He tried to
dig his fingernails into my shoulder with his right hand.  I could feel the
pressure and sting. My hips slapped his ass with a pop as I could feel his
nails break my skin.

"Stop!  Get off!  Please...  Please... Stop," He hissed.

He became synonymous with Dennis in my mind.  I held myself above him with
my left hand and gripped his neck with my right.  Both of his hands gripped
my neck in return and he pushed against my throat.

I squeezed, I could feel blood pulse to his head: his life.  He became like
a kitten being picked up by it's mother: limp and he looked into my eyes
with fear which made me want to squeeze harder.  His hands dropped from my
neck.

Reality is a bitch, I released before he choked or gagged.  I dropped to my
elbows as I grabbed handfuls of his hair and pulled downward.  My thrusts
were rhythmic with enough power to audibly smack his ass as my hate of them
grew.

I closed my eyes as the feel of him began to loosen around my shaft.  His
body became limp as he'd given up any resistance.

I opened my eyes to see fear and now tears in his eyes as my hips pounded
and my hands yanked his hair.  Seeing this, I wanted to beat his pretty
face to chunks of raw flesh.  I didn't care if I broke every knuckle and
bone in my hands.  Any personal pain would be rewarded by the memory of
offing him from this world.  The problem with mother fucking Dennis was he
knew my nature, couldn't keep his mouth shut, and was trying to draw me
into his world after I told him no!  He became more than a problem I could
simply avoid: he became my nightmare that wouldn't leave.

Murder seemed to be the simplest option.  But, I couldn't and as I
maintained eye contact with him something deep inside me was screaming for
sanity.  I know now, it was my Dad.  Everything he taught me was screaming
NO.  Every fight he found out about, every time I made a "dirty" defensive
play on the ice, every time I made a racist comment, every time I screwed
up and hurt some ones feelings due to my ignorance, God help me if I
bullied somebody, or didn't help a kid being picked on by a bigger kid he'd
give me the "I'm so disappointed in you speech."  That was the worst thing
he could say.  What the fuck would he say if I killed a kid?

I pulled out of him.  His legs fell back over the bed as he silently cried.
God, I wanted to hit him square on the nose and pound his face to pulp.

My brother had taught me to punch six inches beyond my intended target.  A
year ago, I smacked Todd Lundgren so hard, as my punch was aimed at his
nose with my distance of the strike was measured to the back of his skull.
When I made contact, all the kids who'd formed a circle around us went
silent as my contact made an audible pop and Todd went to the ground.
There was so much blood.  A pool had formed in the sand and Todd screamed
and sobbed on the ground before gaining his feet to run away from me.  My
hand ached.  I shook it a couple of times which made the pain shoot into my
arm.  I had broken two fingers.  Will had forgot to show me how to make a
proper fist.  I imagined Jan`s blood spattering as I smacked the shit our
of him with that popping music of breaking bones and noses.

"I'm sorry...  I'm sorry!"  Jan sobbed.

"I shouldn't have done what I did...  I'm NOT sorry I did it...  You stay
away from me.  Tell Dennis, my brother will be back in a couple of weeks...
Expect a visit, if he ever tries even looking at me... Fuck off.  Both of
you," I hissed as I pulled my socks on.

"Why!  What did I do?  I like you...  You're my friend!  Why?"

"Jan! ... Johann... Think about it.  Brad told me some of the stuff that
goes on in the dorms.  I figure you've done some stuff there," his tears
were streams now and his chest palpitated as some snot was beginning to
flow from his nose.  He was in no condition to speak as his eyes focused on
me.

"When have you ever heard of a guy doing this stuff with a kid?  When have
you ever seen a full grown man doing stuff like this with a kid?  I've
never fucking heard of what we just did anywhere!  Aren't you grossed out
by him?  He has hair all over the place...  He... He's ...  I guess what
I'm saying is he's fucking gross...  He's old!  There's something wrong
with what we just did...  There's everything wrong with being... A
... Faggot.  I know what you are and you know what I am...  But, why would
an old guy want ...  Us?  I told him to leave me alone and he won't.  He
lied to you.  Jan... There's something wrong with us but he's really messed
up.  I don't know why but I feel it.  Seriously...  Adults don't mess with
kids for sex stuff.  None of my friends have ever said anything about
sexing up some grown up.  And, were boys!  Boys aren't supposed to do this
shit... I fucked up doing this with you...  I really fucked up."  All I
could do was rattle off incoherent ideas since I hadn't fully figured any
of this stuff out for myself.  I hesitated at his stare before I pulled on
my polo.  I didn't think any of what I said landed in his ears.

I took one of the baby wipes from the box and rubbed it over my penis.  I
was expecting it to be all brown and nasty: coated with shit.  But, it
wasn't.  I couldn't even smell shit but it had to be on me.  I held the tip
of my cock with this first wipe and then grabbed two more to wipe
everything down there and my shaft one more time.  Then it hit me that
these were from Dennis.  He probably had all this shit stashed in the back
of the Jag.  He wanted to shove his dick up my ass!  "Mother fucker...
MOTHER FUCKER!" my brain screamed.

"I won't do this again!  Promise.  Please be my friend...  Please don't...
do..do don't leave!  Please stay!  I`m sorry I lied," he sobbed, as I
understood he meant the party or him: not the situation.

I threw the wipes at him, "Too late.  You lied to me about some serious
shit.  Have fun with Dennis.  My brother's going to kill him when he gets
back home," I threatened, as I pulled my shorts and shoes on.  Jan sat up
on the edge of the bed staring at me in tears.

I walked down the stairs, to the kitchen sink and washed my hands with
dishwashing liquid.  I sniffed them, when I was done: no shit smell.  As I
approached the door I picked up the Speedos and turned to see Jan rounding
the stairs as he looked in the bathroom for his shorts.  He was sniffling
and his chest heaved a couple of times with sobbing breaths.  A tweak of
guilt filled me: it was to sad for me to see him cry.  Something told me I
was as responsible as Dennis for this situation but I couldn't quite figure
out why.

"I'm sorry Jan...  I really am.  I like you.  I can't not.  Just...  Get
Dennis fired or something."

He peered at me, for a second, "Then we're not friends."

I nodded.  "Okay... I think I understand.  It'd be like you telling me to
lose David.  Ummm...  I'm sorry about all that stuff...  Up there...  I was
really mad: is all.  Just think about what I said.  Johann, if you want me
as a friend, I'll be around .  Just keep me and him separate...  Dorm rules
about everything including you and Dennis, okay?"

He nodded without looking at me which made my stomach sink.  "He showed me
some stuff.  You're wrong.  He showed me some magazines where boys were
doing what we did.  And grown ups were doing it with kids... Boys and girls
too.  Dennis said it's a secret like kissing somebody: it's between only
those two and it's nobodies business.  He wouldn't lie about that."

"I've never heard of anything like that...  I guess it could be...
Ummm... I just...  Jan, we're still buddies.  I'm sorry for...  I'm sorry."

"I...I...  You hurt me," He said with a sniffle.  And, I realized, he was
processing the episode.  To be honest, I hadn't thought about my reaction:
only their deception and lies.  "I think...  I saw all kinds of
stuff... Could you just leave?"

"I'll never tell anyone about any of this...  Okay?"  I left him in the
cottage without looking back.

I decided to change back at the boat house since I could hide my back
easier than changing in the cabana bathroom and walking to the shower at
the opposite end of the building. I felt the wounds on my shoulder and
could feel dried blood scabs were forming where he dug into me.  When I
entered, I noticed the scent of burnt tea.  Some teens had been in here
smoking dope.  I had smelled this many times at the cliff on the island.  I
walked around the ski boat and then jumped in to change.  I shucked my
shorts and underwear slipping on the Speedos over my shoes which snagged in
the leg holes.  I had to sit to get them on without falling on my ass.  I
scanned for a garbage can.  There was no way I was wearing these undies
again.  They had Jan's shit smeared somewhere, I was sure.  Not seeing a
trashcan, I just tossed them into the bow of the boat.  I figured maybe
Dennis might have to explain why a pair of kids undies were in the boat.  A
wishful thought.  Boys are always leaving clothes laying around or
forgotten at the beach.

I walked up to the pool.  There were a couple of little boys still up here.
They were jumping in and out of the hot tub and the pool to get the rush of
temperature change over their bodies.  The bar tender was organizing
glasses and bottles as the pool monitor was picking up towels and
rearranging lawn furniture around the pool as most people were dishing up
an early dinner at the house.  I walked back behind the laurel hedge to
shower my wounds and my junk.  The monitor gave me a weird look and I told
her I was wading in the bay and wanted to rinse the salt off.  It was the
only way I could explain me still wearing a shirt which I only pulled off
after I had water flowing and was sure the coast was clear.

The water stung the claw marks on my shoulder as I soaped off.  I looked
around and determined it was safe to soap up my stuff down the front of my
shorts.  Even though the sensation of fucking him was over the top, I
didn't want my cock in a shit hole ever again.  The thought of having to
reciprocate the act generated fear and disgust.  I couldn't believe I did
it.  I soaped my cock balls and pubic area three times to the point that I
boned up on the last wash.  Satisfied that I was as clean as possible, I
turned the water cold and faced the stream trying to make my hard on go
down.  It took a few minutes.

After my shower, I went searching for Chris.  He was back at the
trampoline, with the other boys, chowing down fried chicken and melons.  I
sat up there with the other five kids and stole a leg and a piece of
watermelon from two of the kids.

"Where were you?"

"The boat house and then just walking around."

"Where'd Jan go?"

"Back to the house, I guess," When I said that, the kids gave me a look of
disbelief.  I think they knew we had a fight.

"Ummm...  We saw him go in the house.  It looked like he was crying...
What'd you do?"  Kenny asked with a threatening voice as a few of the kids
giggled because they saw him in tears.

"I... I told him I didn't like Dennis and he went crazy."

"What's wrong with Dennis?"

"We just don't get along is all and I didn't realize it would piss him
off...  I didn't mean to make him cry... Are you serious?  He was crying?"
I lied.

"Yeah...  Nice job.  You'll probably never come back," Chris stated.

"Sorry guys.  I didn't mean to piss him off and ruin the fun.  I'll
apologize again.  He's not a baby.  Like none of you guys have been there."

They continued to eat.

"Where's Karl?"

"With my mom.  He threw a fit in the pool," Curtis piped as he broke into
laughter followed by a few others.

"What did you do to him?"

"Curtis pulled his shorts off and the others played catch with them... His
Mom went nuts and we all got tossed out of the pool!"  one of the kids
answered.  Chris glanced at me and I picked up that he didn't have anything
to do with this.

"Curtis probably won't be coming back either...  I have a feeling your in
for a total ass kicking in a few more years.  I hope I'm there to watch
your brother beat the living shit out of you... Why are you such a fucking
prick?"

"Mind your own business," Curtis ordered.

"Maybe I should kick your ass right now and save him the trouble," I said
as I stood up on the trampoline and took a step toward him.  My heart was
pounding and I could feel my eyes bulge in my skull as my arms began to
feel weightless with the onset of battle.  I figured the Carlson's would
ask me to leave, if they stumbled across Jan so, I'd even the score for
Karl before I got the boot.

Curtis could sense he was about to die.  He dropped his plate and rolled
off the edge of the trampoline and took off at full sprint.

"That's right dumb ass, ain't to fun to be picked on is it?"  Chris yelled
after him.

"Such a pussy," I added.

"Why'd you do that?" Kenny asked.

"It just pisses me off... He probably beats his dog to.  Karl's a little
kid.  That guys an asshole."  The truth was, I was processing what had
happened with Jan.  I still wanted to hit someone and he was the easiest
target for my frustration of myself: my treatment of Jan.  I had killed a
friendship.  I couldn't wrap my head around that I practically strangled
him.  And, later in life, that I had raped him the in the process.

Before we knew it, it was ten and the rich people began lighting off their
money.  Most of what was displayed was rockets and exploding fountains.  I
stayed back to sit on the edge of a rock wall to watch.  Chris was with me
and in the dark, he sat as close as possible and leaned into me a few
times.  Karl joined us and Chris separated from me with a quick scoot to
his right.  I put my arm around Karl and he scooted in on my left as he
looked up at me with a smile.  He was so excited to see the anarchy of the
mass lighting of fireworks as the smell of sulfur putrefied the air.

Chris got up and sat back down on the other side of Karl as we both made
him the center of attention.  I honestly wished he were my brother more
that anything I ever wanted in my life.  I hated being the youngest kid and
felt so sorry for Karl's draw in life.  I'd never treat another human being
the way Curtis did.  It made me understand my big brother: why he took any
interest in me at all.  Sometimes life isn't about yourself.  It's just so
fucking hard to separate self and focus on another person.

After the show was over, Karl's Mom found us and she wanted my phone number
in case they ever needed a sitter.  I was flattered and happy that she
asked.  I told her, "I'd do it for free.  Her son's a cool little dude."
She laughed and after some more chat, they left us.  Jan never surfaced.  I
think he was about but just wanted to avoid me since I hadn't seen Kenny
since confronting Curtis.

It took Mom twenty minutes to pick us up after we called home.  We had to
hang out with the valet who was boring as hell.  Chris and I tried to chat
him up but he was in a bad mood or something.

When we piled in the Buick, I could tell something was up.

"You'll never guess what happened today...  It's good news!  Guess," She
demanded.

"Sue finally got a sense of humor," I answered as my thoughts lingered back
to Jan and his tears.  I'd never been so harsh or violent to anyone in my
life.  I had bloodied boys.  I had never felt a kids life in my hands.  I
was surprised he didn't run to his parents.  Maybe Brad beat on him the
same as Curtis did to Karl.

"Jon!"

"Dad bought a power boat!"

"That will never happen...  Your brother came home early!"

"NO!  You serious?"

"Cool!"  Chris interjected.

"Yeah!  He finished that math class early... His prof allowed him to test
out!"

"Cool! Sweet!  I can't wait...  Hurry up let's go home...  MOM!  STEP ON
IT!"

"Jon...  Now, Jon, he's in bed.  Remember he's on Massachusetts time.  It's
three in the morning for him.  You'll see him in the morning.  Just relax
and calm down," She soothed with a big smile on her face as we passed
Hanson's and she started interrogating us about the Carlson's party.  Chris
did most of the talking since I couldn't wait to see him and could think of
nothing else.

He wasn't supposed to be home until the first week of August.  He had to
take a summer class to stay on graduation schedule.  Unlike stereotype of
student athletes, my brother wanted a degree more than a professional
hockey contract.  He knew he was to small to make it into the big time and
that thought of being a piece of meat in the minors was unacceptable to
him.  He played for an education.  And, if I were good and lucky enough to
get the same ticket, I'd play it just like him.

When we got home, I had to peak into his bedroom to make sure he was there.
I wanted to crawl in bed with him like I used to when I had those bad
dreams as a little kid.  Then I realized, I was doing that even after I
turned ten.  My brother's the best to put up with me.