Date: Mon, 1 May 2000 00:09:39 -0700
From: David Cross <dcross1@home.com>
Subject: cameron-1

This story is loosely based on a fleeting real experience I did have; the
rest of it is pure fantasy. With that in mind, the usual disclaimers apply
- ie. no reading this if you're not of age to read it, and no peeking at
this if you can't stand gay people (which would bring to mind the question
of what the hell you're doing reading this anyway).

Names and places (but not the city I lived in) have been changed to protect
the privacy of both myself and the people who I'm inserting into this
story.

All questions etc can be directed to dcross1@home.com

----

At the time, I was 14, and I was about 5'8", maybe 120 pounds, with blond
hair, dark blue eyes, and glasses. Fairly average, skinny maybe, but
definitely not fat. I remember back then I tended to avoid looking in the
mirror because I didn't like examining myself. Looking back, I realize now
I probably could have been a lady (or guy) killer had I been more conscious
of how to use my looks to my advantage. Such is life..............

It was a normal day at Daniel Conway Junior Secondary in Richmond, British
Columbia. There I was, at school as usual by 8 am, through my usual run of
Computer Science (back then we did all our business on Apple //gs'es and
Mac Pluses), Science, Consumer Education, Social Studies and Math - the
other classes were set on a different day, due to the way the timetable was
set up. So at the end of the day, there I was. Stuffing my homework into my
bag and then browsing the lost and found to see what interesting material I
could swipe (it was always good for a couple of binders, maybe some
looseleaf paper, etc). After about 10-15 minutes most of the school was
pretty much empty, leaving just me and a few other stragglers.

By the time I saw a classmate I sort of knew, we'll call him Cameron, and
chatted with sometimes, I had walked the entire length of the "main"
section of the school and had ended up in the section where his locker
was. We got to chatting about some mundane things, and then out of the
blue, he ran his hand through my hair (In public - Holy shit! Never mind
that there weren't actually any people left in the school) and said softly
in what I have to admit was a very sexy voice, "You have nice hair, Dave."
Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! I was pretty
dumbstruck at that point, but recovered enough to say, "Thanks... so do
you," and I ran my hand through HIS hair for emphasis.

He returned what must have been my own shocked expression, and then relaxed
slightly. While he was doing that, I thought to myself "Damn, I knew he was
good-looking before then, but he looks _really_ cute now!" He asked me if
he could walk to my home with me, or if I wanted to walk to his home with
him. My parents at the time were somewhat overprotective and it would have
been difficult to talk in my own room with Cameron about this, since my
room had no lock, et cetera. I mentioned as much and asked if I could go to
his place. He said his parents probably weren't home yet, so it would be
OK.

I called my mother from the school phone and told a little white lie, that
I was going over to the Richmond library straight from school since I
wanted to check out some books; I knew if I'd mentioned I was going over to
a guy's place who she hadn't even met yet it might make her suspicious. She
said "Ok, supper will be at 6 so be back by then." It was 3:00 PM by now,
so I got off the line and breathed a sigh of relief. Cameron looked over at
me and raised his eyebrows and I said, "My mom knows I love to read, so
that's why I just thought of saying that so she wouldn't ask me a million
questions. If she wonders why I didn't bring back any library books, I'll
just say the one I wanted was out." He laughed a little and said "Parents,
eh?"

So we headed out of the south-facing doors and headed across the large
field that separated this school with the elementary school in the
southeast corner. As we walked to his place, which wasn't that far from the
school - maybe the same distance mine was, only mine was in about the
opposite direction - we began talking...

I said, "What made you run the risk of exposing yourself?"

Cameron said, "I don't know; I just took the risk. I guess because you wear
glasses and seem kind of quiet, you might not react badly even if you
weren't... gay." The last word he had a little trouble saying, which wasn't
surprising given the social circumstances at this school, which was heavily
into sports.

"You're probably right. It just isn't cool to be an asshole to someone just
because they're not like you."

"So how did you know you liked, well, guys?" There I was, having the same
problem with getting words out.

"I think I sort of figured it out when I was 12. But I experimented, too,
and I liked it a WHOLE lot better than when I was feeling up girls."

"Experimented? Damn. That's more than I can say for myself. About all I
know is how to jack off; everything else is in my imagination, period."

"A virgin, eh?" With that he gave me a saucy wink. "Bet you'd like to know
who I 'experimented' with."

I couldn't resist. Curiosity is what killed the cat, and I had (and still
have) enough to kill 18 of them. "Ok, who? I'm dying to know!"

"Kevin Smith."

"Shit! He's, like, majorly good-looking! I've always wondered about him. So
why didn't you two, like, do it more?" Keep in mind at that time I had no
idea how gay relationships actually worked...

"He told me he didn't want to do it anymore and he liked girls better.
Especially Michelle!"

"That sucks, I guess."

"Oh, now you're selling yourself short, eh? I wouldn't have touched your
hair if I didn't think you were just as sexy as him."

With that, I just blushed about 10 shades of red and coughed a little. Good
thing, too, since we were getting close to Cameron's house; fairly average
for a middle-class city (Richmond at the time seemed to have an unusually
large middle-class composition, with no extremes of rich and poor, unlike
Vancouver, the center of the metropolitan regional district) - one car
garage, the usual run of bedrooms, kitchen, family room and whatnot.

He plucked a key out fron his pocket (I might add that he had the sexiest
black jeans on... ;-) ) and opened the door. As expected, his parents
weren't home and his older sister had gone off, as usual, to her
boyfriend's place. Cameron said, "Coke? Pepsi? Orange Juice?" I asked for a
Coke, grateful to drink something that would wet my mouth, which had gone
dry since entering this cute guy's abode. After all, we weren't just going
to fool with a computer or talk about mundane things, this was heavy duty
prime stuff.

Cameron motioned me to follow him to his room, and once inside I was
impressed at the setup. He had his own Nintendo system (Damn! Back at my
place I had to share one with my two brothers), plus a Sega Genesis
(Sheeyit!)... his parents had to be loaded, since he also had a ton of
tapes from music groups which I recognized and a fullsize bed. "You like?"

"Yep!"

I suddenly realized I wasn't sure what the "rules" were, if there were any,
to being gay with another guy. Sure, I'd read books on the subject, but I
never knew how abstractly theoretical they were; they described the
psychological literature and the possible psychological basis for
homosexuality, along with a generalized treatment of society's attitudes.
Now I knew the big 1-kilometer-wide hole in my reading materials; none had
ever covered the subject of just how one _does_ go about acting to (a) find
other gay guys and (b) what to do when one has found another.

In confusion, I sat down on the floor, in between the Sega Genesis console
unit and a fairly large tape deck which looked pretty new. Cameron went to
sit on the bed, and looked down at me.

He said in the tenderest voice I'd ever heard from a guy, "Dave, you look
upset. What's wrong?"

I was shaking a little as I replied, "I just don't know what to do or how
to do it. I've never done this before, not even touched a guy or a girl at
all..."

"Hey, it's OK. I was kind of like this with Kevin. Heh, we both were real
space cadets at this stuff too. All we ever did was jack each other off a
little and he tried to give me a blow job."

I asked, "How do you give a blow job anyway?"

"Uh, you put your mouth on the other guy's dick, and kind of make it wet,
and then you move your mouth up and down on it. At least that's what Kevin
told me, but he didn't know how to keep his teeth off my dick." It had
actually never occurred to me that teeth could get in the way, but the
logic of it struck me at that moment.... I figured I'd get practice on the
subject fairly soon. I changed the subject a little. "So what do we do
now?" I stood up and walked a couple of steps over to Cameron, so I was
maybe 2 feet away from where he was sitting.

He didn't respond with words. He stood up, looked into my eyes, gently took
off my glasses, then reached up to my shoulder and brought me in for a
kiss. And what a kiss that was! It was like the earth had moved sublimely.
I was so surprised by it I nearly forgot to breathe as I got an instant
major hard-on. "Jeez! That was great!" I exclaimed.

He smiled, and his eyes twinkled as he took my hand and held it in his.
"You're not so bad yourself. We'll be doing a lot more of that, trust me,
Dave!"

I didn't have to think twice before I reached up, stroked his hair, and as
my hand reached the back of his neck, gently pulled him in for a return
kiss, this time intending to use my tongue the way I'd read in some teenage
fiction books. As our mouths interlocked, our bodies merged together in a
hug, the first hug I'd ever had that was sexual in nature. My tongue found
his, and the sensation of two tongues intertwining was... unique.

As the kiss melted away, our bodies stayed in that wonderfully enclosing
hug. I felt safe; safer than anywhere else - a very nice feeling when one
isn't used to it initially. The weight of the revelation of the last hour
plus our recent activity just crashed down on me all at once, and I started
crying. "Oh, damnit, I didn't mean to do this Cameron, it's just so...
beautiful." I was embarassed to have broken down in the arms of this
wonderful boy, and I buried my head into his shoulder so I wouldn't have to
look at him and expose my tears.

Cameron leaned back a bit and gently lifted my chin, and said, "Dave, I
could never think you were silly or wrong to express yourself with me; I
like you a lot, you're smart, nice, and you're definitely not some
insensitive SOB. Here, let me help dry your face." With that, he gently
dried my face with the sleeve of his shirt, and I calmed down enough to
sigh. But it wasn't a sigh of resignation. It was a sigh of relief and
(dare I say it?) a little bit of love into the bargain. Was I really
falling in love already? I'd always thought it came by stages. So much for
logic. I smiled at the thought that I had been logical for far too long.

Cameron said, "Dave?" "mm-hmm?" "You have the cutest damned smile, man."
And he began giggling and eventually had to bury his head into my shoulder
because he was laughing to release his own pent-up stress at the events of
that day. Who says coming out of the closet is ever easy?

"Heh, Cameron, you OK?"

"Yeah, man, I just (laugh) gotta stop (laugh) laughing (laugh) so
much... stress relief you know."

"Yeah, figured."

Once his laughs subsided, he raised his head again, looked into my eyes,
and for the first time I noticed how beautiful his brown eyes were. Call me
silly, but I've been a major sucker for brown eyes. Almost without
conscious thought, I leaned in towards him and he reciprocated, allowing us
to exchange another, but shorter, heartfelt kiss.

I said, "Hey, can we sit down? I know I love hugging you, but I'm feeling a
bit weak in the legs from all this, it's so new."

Cameron said, "Sure," and patted the space next to him as he sat down. I
gratefully took that spot and breathed another sigh of relief. All of a
sudden I got paranoid and remembered we weren't exactly alone; what about
his parents?! "Shit, Cameron, what about your parents? How long have we
been here?" Surprisingly enough, it was only 3:45, and he said, "Dave, my
parents won't be back until like 5, anyway. My dad's a lawyer and my mom's
an accountant." I settled down, but my heartbeat took a few more seconds to
return to normal.

We began discussing each others' families. I knew that Cameron was Jewish,
but it didn't seem that he was much "of the faith" (given his sexuality,
who would?). He said that his parents were OK, but he wished he could tell
them the truth about himself. I said the same thing, and complained that my
dad was always so right-wing and that our household seemed like a time warp
out of the 1950s - dad went out and worked, mom stayed home and took care
of the kids. Our conversation then drifted onto other topics - what we
liked and disliked, who we thought was a complete jerk at school, and (heh,
heh) even who was also cute in our classes. We had P.E. and French
together, and our English classes were in the same block but one room
apart, and we did what high school kids everywhere do - bitched about the
lousy teachers and praised the good ones.

It was around 4:45 PM when I realized I had to go soon, and at the same
time, unbidden, the thought hit my mind that this wasn't going to be
Camelot forever. How did that line go? "Don't let it be forgot, that once
there was a spot, for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot."
Well, we'd had our brief shining moment of Camelot, and now I was about to
come crashing down to Earth.... I said, "Cameron, um, what happens now?
What are we? Who are we? Will you like me tomorrow?" The questions weren't
ones that could be answered easily, but I was getting worried about the
world out there that was not going to be very shining (for the most part)
on our relationship or what we did within it.

Cameron nodded seemed to understand, and shifted so he was laying on the
bed, propped up on one elbow. He said, "Lie down next to me, Ok?" So I lay
down the same way, so I was propped on my right elbow, facing him. He
reached out with his right hand, took my left hand in his, and softly
pressed my fingers to his lips. Lord, how I loved the feel of his hand and
his mouth!

"Dave, listen to me. Today we both showed more of ourselves to each other
than to anyone else in this world, even our parents. That is a sacred
trust, and I will never betray that trust. As for the outside world, well,
I know not everybody will be understanding or kind or sensitive about it,
but... I'd like to ask you something. Will... " He stopped, uncertain. I
raised my eyebrows at him, wondering what he was getting at. (I might have
been a damned good student, but sometimes I could be dense!) He resumed,
"will you go out with me?" If I thought there were enough surprises for me
that day, damned if there wasn't another one to blow my doors off!

I said, "You mean, you want me to be your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Then... heh, shit, how do I say this... this is weird. Ok, yes, I'll go
out with you," I managed to coherently blurt out.

"Well, that takes care of the 'will we like each other tomorrow' question,
doesn't it?" He winked again, and I couldn't help but let out a small
giggle.

I sighed and said, "Still, though, it's going to be damned tough in a world
that hasn't got the damnedest clue about the concept that two guys can like
each other, or hell, love each other."

He nodded and said sympathetically, "It'll be hard, but please, stay by my
side. I want to be your man, and I want you to be my man." I tried to say
something, stumbled to a halt, and just stared into his beautiful eyes, and
melted inside...

"Shh, Dave, don't worry about thanking me. This kiss will be more than
ample for that." Without further ado, he leaned towards me, and damned if I
didn't see stars when he gave me another one of those spellbinding kisses.
Without really meaning to, my free left hand began tracing its way up his
arm and to his well-muscled chest. Feeling THAT part of his body was enough
to nearly make me faint. Slowly, we released the kiss and he grinned as he
noticed where my hand had, er, roamed. He reached over and put his hand on
my chest as well. Now, I didn't exactly think I was stud material, but he
sure didn't seem to mind how my chest felt.

"We'll both be Ok, Dave. Come sit with me at lunch, Ok? It'll be just after
P.E. so we can walk to the lunch area together."

"All right, Cameron, let's do it!" Just a second too late I realized the
double entendre, and first blushed, and then began laughing. He caught on
about the same time, and also began laughing his ass off. We were like that
for a good couple of minutes until finally, gasping for air, I stood up and
said "Remind me to watch that sense of humor for both our sakes." Then I
reached down to where he'd fallen off the bed onto the floor, and helped
him up. As he stood and was still gripping my hand, he looked at me, and
gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I couldn't quit smiling, even after he
let go of my hand. Hell, who was I kidding? I was on cloud friggin nine,
and I felt like I could have busted through the roof and begun flying like
a bird.

Finally, we both realized in resignation that I was going to have to leave
soon so I could get back home in time for supper. As we stood by the door,
I silently ran my hand for the last time that day through Cameron's
hair. He then did the same to me, and I caught his hand as it was falling
back to his side, and kissed it. I then reached for the door handle, opened
the door, and as I stepped across the threshold, I knew that that day had
irrevocably changed me; no longer was I alone, and no longer was I required
to face the world without knowing that there would be someone by my
side. As we looked at each other, my hand on the outside door handle, him
standing by the door, a shared recognition of that change passed between
us, and simultaneously we smiled at each other. Slowly, I closed the door,
not daring to make more than the slightest *click* with the latch, and
began walking home...

I'd have to worry about my parents, my brothers, and society that night.
But for the time being, I was high as a kite, and it wasn't due to any
drugs - unless you counted getting some hot kisses for the first time in
your life from a cute guy!

----

That ends part 1. Keep in mind most of this part is entirely fictional, and
part 2 onwards will be totally fictional.