Date: Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:19:56 EDT
From: Bwstories8@aol.com
Subject: Castaway Hotel: Grand Reopening - Book 5, Chapters 1 - 2

Castaway Hotel -- Grand Reopening -- Book 5 by BW
Copyright 2009 by billwstories
Chapter 1 -- Picking Up the Pieces.

**Author's Note:** Please read the disclaimer in Chapter 00 before you read
this.

During the time I was in the hospital, I was kept sedated.  The doctors
felt it was best to keep me drugged and oblivious to my condition, so my
body would have time to recover and heal, without me having to also deal
with the harsh reality that I had just lost a son.  Therefore, I don't know
much about what actually took place during that time, but what I am aware
of now are the things the others told me later.  I suppose it would be
helpful if I recapped those events for you, to give you a chance to
discover what took place after I was admitted into the hospital following
my heart attack.

I understand the scene at the cemetery was extremely hectic and unsettling.
I was told the boys feared the worst, especially after being apprised of
Graham's prediction about Brent and myself.  The adults did all they could
do to keep the boys from becoming completely hysterical, especially after
they saw me taken away in the ambulance, by explaining that I had just
succumbed to the pressure of everything I had just been forced to deal
with.  However, they were also quick to add that they suspected I would
pull through it and be fine.

Although this was a very troubled and unsettling time, there were some
positive aspects resulting from the situation.  One of the most impressive
things was the level of maturity some of the boys displayed and how they
shone through to help the others.  Danny, for instance, took charge of his
brothers, right after I was stricken, and was the first to conceive of a
way to get them to calm down, while providing them with a sense of hope.
He did this by suggesting they all kneel and pray, right there in the
cemetery, so they could ask God to help me pull through and give them the
strength to help each other deal with this dark period of their lives.  The
boys followed his lead, and that seemed to be the key to getting most of
them back in control of their emotions and fears.

Even Graham tried to comfort his brothers, by explaining to them that the
shadows he had seen around me had never been that dark, which he
interpreted to mean that I'd be in the hospital for a while, but I would
survive.  This also proved to be the most reassuring bit of information for
many of them, since they had now become painfully aware of the accuracy of
Graham's vision.  Gradually, they began to let go of their fears about my
chances of survival, but there was one glaring exception to this.

Due to his unique relationship to both Brent and myself, Kevin was in the
worst shape of all of my sons and was unable to cope with the enormity of
everything that had transpired over the past few days.  Not only had he
just lost his latest boyfriend and soul mate, but he was now concerned he
might also lose his father as well.  The emotional pain and uncertainty he
was dealing with completely overwhelmed him and caused him to fall to
pieces, figuratively speaking.

You see, Kevin was already on the brink of hysteria after learning about
Brent's demise, but his condition reached the critical breaking point when
he witnessed my collapse, right after the gravesite service.  As soon as he
saw me slumping to the ground, he began screaming and sobbing
uncontrollably, and none of the others were able to give him a sense of
solace or reassurance.  This latest happenstance merely caused him to
continue to question why all of these bad things kept happening to him and
those closest to him, so it only bolstered his suspicions that this
collection of unfortunate circumstances had something to do with him
personally.  He was now totally convinced that he was the bad luck charm
that kept rubbing off on everyone else.

The adults tried to persuade him this wasn't the case and attempted to use
logic to calm him down and dissuade his fears.  They explained what
happened to Brent had merely been the result of a very unfortunate and
untimely accident and what happened to me was due to the fact I had
internalized Brent's death, like Kevin was doing, and put undue stress and
strain on my organs.  They tried to explain to Kevin that something similar
might also happen to him, if he didn't quit blaming himself and thinking
all the bad things that had happened had a direct connection to him.  They
weren't sure how much, if any, of this he actually understood and accepted,
but they felt it had to be said and hoped it would eventually sink in.

Seeing how devastated Kevin was, Danny and Brandon took special interest in
him, but they were also wise enough to solicit help from Dustin and Nick in
the process.  The four of them tried to reassure Kevin he was not alone and
they would continue as a family, no matter what else happened.  It was also
Danny and Brandon who convinced their brothers that Uncle Jake would be
true to his word and stay with them, so they would be able to remain
together, regardless of what else transpired.  They also spread the word
among the boys that Uncle Jake would not even leave when I returned home,
because they were convinced there was an even stronger bond growing between
us -- one which would kept him close by my side.

It was also that pair who took over the leadership role at home and made
certain things kept running smoothly.  They stayed on top of things, as I
would have done had I been there, and helped Jake look after everyone else.
It was also Danny and Brandon who helped convince Dustin and Frankie not to
wallow in their grief and delay moving on with their own future.  Both boys
had been tempted to put off going away to college while I was in the
hospital, at least until Danny explained that I would have insisted they
not alter their plans, if something similar had happened to anyone else.
That duo also took the time to help Dustin and Frankie pack their things
and went over their college information packets with them, to make sure
they had remembered everything they needed to take with them.  They even
reassured their older brothers they'd keep in constant contact with them,
to let them know how I was doing and what was happening back at home.

Along with everything else, Danny and Brandon also took it upon themselves
to see that all of the athletes got signed up for their fall sports and
didn't allow them to sit the season out, just because I was out of action.
As if that weren't enough, they also helped to organize meals and did many
of the other mundane tasks to run the household that I usually took care
of.  Jake told me later that he was totally in awe of how that pair had
managed to stay in control and keep their wits about them, no matter how
unsettled things became or how worried they were about me personally.  He
admitted that he wouldn't have been able to accomplish what they had and
was very grateful they had been around.

Danny and Brandon were also the ones who helped console Graham, who still
blamed himself for allowing all of this to happen.  Graham still clung to
his belief that he could have prevented this from happening by being more
assertive in convincing me Brent shouldn't be allowed to go on that trip.
Graham not only blamed himself for Brent's death, but also felt my heart
attack was just another result of his ineffectiveness.  He concluded both
incidents were part of the same failure on his part and it was very
difficult for him to let go of that belief.

Danny and Brandon spent quite a bit of time reasoning with him, using many
of the same arguments I might have.  They told Graham that if things hadn't
occurred the way they did, then it was very likely something similar would
have happened instead and we'd still be where we were now.  After
discussing this on several different occasions, they finally got Graham to
concede this point and accept the fact that what had happened was
inevitable and couldn't have been stopped.  They assured him the only
reason he felt responsible was the insight he had that the rest of them
lacked, but that didn't guarantee he could alter the future.  After many
lengthy discussions, Graham finally accepted the logic that he was merely
the harbinger of the bad news, not the author of the tragedy, so he
eventually quit blaming himself for everything that had happened.

Danny and Brandon were also the ones to whom Graham went to after something
unsettling happened to him, something he wasn't sure he'd be able to tell
anyone else about.  After thinking it over and debating his options, he
finally went to his new 'father figures' and asked for their guidance.
After debating this internally for more than a day, he concluded that they
were the only ones, beside myself, that he'd feel comfortable discussing
this with.

"Danny, Brandon... uh... I need to talk to you alone... about something I
saw," he announced to them one morning.  The pair recognized the extreme
concern on Graham's face and took him to their room where they could handle
his concerns in private.  Once they were alone, Graham told them what was
bothering him.  "I'm not sure if you're going to believe me or not, but I
saw Brent when I woke up this morning and he spoke to me."

"You saw WHO?" Danny asked, not sure he heard Graham correctly.

"I saw Brent," Graham repeated, but he now looked a little concerned.  "I
was just opening my eyes, after having a dream about Dad, and I saw
someone.  I thought one of you guys had come in to check on me, but then I
realized it was Brent standing there.  I thought I was still dreaming, so I
blinked a couple of times, but he didn't disappear.  After that, I closed
my eyes tight and even pinched myself, to make sure I was awake, but he was
still there when I opened my eyes again.  After I stared at him for quite
some time, he let me know what he was doing here."  Graham hesitated
briefly, trying to decide how he could best explain this, and once he
thought he knew what he wanted to say, he continued.

"Brent didn't speak to me directly, like I'm talking to you.  Instead, he
showed me things and I was able to understand what he meant by looking at
them.  First, he showed me the wrecked SUV and let me know that he didn't
blame anyone for what had happened, that it was just an accident that no
one could have stopped.  Then he let me know he was doing okay, but he's
worried about the rest of us, especially Kevin and Dad.  He wants me to let
both of them know he's okay, he still loves Kevin and he thanks Dad for
letting him go on the trip, even if it was the last one he'd ever take.  He
also let me know that he wants me to whisper this message in Dad's
ear... while he's in the hospital, so maybe it will help him get better
faster."

"But how can this be possible?" Danny wondered aloud, still confused.
"It's not that I think you're lying," he quickly added, so Graham didn't
feel Danny doubted what he was saying, "but I don't understand how a dead
person can tell you all of this."

"I'm not sure either, but that's what he did," Graham told him.  "Nothing
like this has ever happened to me before, I mean getting messages from
someone who has died, but Brent kind of let me know I'll be seeing him a
lot from now on.  He let me know he's going to be my spirit guide, so I can
pass messages along from the other side."  Graham was very serious about
this and did everything he could to make certain both boys knew this wasn't
some sort of a joke, and even confirmed that Brent was the one who
convinced him to tell Danny and Brandon, so he could find a way to tell me
before I got home.

"So this is the first time you've seen Brent?" Danny pressed.

"No.  I've been seeing him at different times ever since we found out what
happened to him," Graham confirmed.  "At first I didn't want to accept the
fact it was happening or believe I was able to see him, but Brent kept
becoming more and more insistent in letting me know I HAVE to do this for
him."

"But how does he let you know these things, if he doesn't speak to you
directly?"  Brandon inquired.

"He shows me things," Graham explained, "or somehow gives me the impression
of what he wants me to know."

"Dang, this is really spooky!" Brandon exclaimed.

"I know," Graham agreed.  "I was scared to admit this to anyone at first,
or even believe it myself, but Brent convinced me that he's not going to
let me ignore him."

"But why you?" Brandon asked him.

"Think about it, Brand," Danny told him, "who else would he come to.
Graham's always had these special abilities none of the rest of us have or
really understand, so who better to communicate with than the one who
warned this would happen."

"Yeah, I guess you're right there, but damn, it's still spooky," Brandon
concluded.

"Tell me about it," Graham stated, with his eyes bugging out.  "How would
you like to be the one who your dead brother decided to communicate with?
I mean, Brent and I weren't even that close when he was here.  It's not
that I didn't like him, but he was closer to some of you than he was with
me."

"Yeah, but you're the only one with this gift," Danny told him.  "No one
else has the ability to see and understand things like you do."

"You think it's a gift?" Graham nearly shouted.  "I wish I could give it to
someone else.  Maybe you think it's a gift, but to me it's a curse.  It's
just so scary and hard to accept that I can tell what's going to happen to
people and now I'm seeing people who have died."

"I know, but God wouldn't have given you this ability, if he wasn't
positive you could deal with it," Danny added.

"Now you're beginning to sound like Dad," Graham responded, but then
grinned at him.

"Thanks," Danny stated, sporting a huge smile of his own.  "That's the best
compliment you could have ever given me."

Graham asked the duo not to tell anyone else about the extent of his 'gift'
or disclose the additional details of what he had just told them.  After
asking their advice as to whether he should do what Brent had requested,
about whispering Brent's message to me, he also enlisted their help to get
into my hospital room alone.  They agreed to assist him and together set
about making a plan to accomplish this.  They thought it best to do it in
total secrecy, without having to explain to the others what they were up
to, which included Jake.  Carefully, they devised their plan and determined
they would set it into motion the next time they visited me.  Now that
everything was agreed upon, they just had to wait for their opportunity,
but they didn't have to wait for very long.

Later that afternoon, Jake told the boys he would take anyone who wanted to
visit me with him later that evening and everyone wanted to go.  Jake had
only allowed the boys to come see me every few days, because he felt my
knowing they were there might make me overly emotional and hinder my
recuperation.  However, after observing the boys and watching me on their
last visit, he felt all of us would benefit by seeing each other briefly.
He did forewarn them I was still being sedated, and depending on when I'd
had my last dose of medication, I might not even know they were there.
However, he quickly learned that didn't make a difference to my sons, since
they all still wanted to go anyway.

When they got to the hospital, Danny and Brandon announced they thought all
of them should go to the chapel to say a prayer for me first, and then go
up to my room in small groups, so they didn't overwhelm me.  They knew the
nurses would also limit the number in at one time, but this way the rest of
them could remain in the chapel while the others went to see Dad.  After
thinking about it, everyone agreed that both suggestions were appropriate
and a wise precautions to take, so they went along with them.  Danny and
Brandon immediately teamed up with Graham, so they would be the only ones
in the room when Graham passed along his message.

Jake wanted to be in the room with each group, which presented a slight
problem, so Danny, Brandon hung back and let everyone else go before them,
to give them time to come up with a diversionary plan.  By the time it was
their turn to visit, they had an idea worked out in their heads.  After
spending several minutes in the room with me, Danny asked Jake if he could
speak with him privately in the hallway and Jake did as he requested.
While Danny was talking to Jake, making suggestions for future visits and
ways to relax me so I'd recover more quickly, Graham was making his move to
tell me about seeing Brent.

Graham walked up beside my bed, but stopped short and merely looked at me
for quite a few seconds, before he moved closer.  By the time he bent over
to whisper in my ear, there was a tear running down his cheek.  "Hi, Dad.
It's Graham," he told me.  "I just came to tell you that I've seen Brent
and he wants me to let you know he doesn't blame anyone for what happened
and he's okay.  I know, I know.  You probably don't understand how this can
be any more than I did at first, but Brent has shown himself to me.  He's
let me know he will be my spirit guide from now on and he'll be passing
messages to me from the other side, so I can give them to the people
they're intended for.  I tried to tell him I didn't want to do this, but he
insisted I had to, because there's no one else who can do it.  So you're
the first one to receive one of these messages."  He hesitated slightly and
licked his lips, which were quite dry because of how nervous he was, but
then he continued.

"Brent told me to tell you that you're going to get better, because you
have to keep the family going.  He said to let you know that you will still
have some other problems because of your heart attack, but they won't be
anything too bad.  The best part is that you're going to live and you'll be
back home soon.  He also says you'll have to give up some of the things you
do for the family and let some of the others do them instead, at least for
a while, but Jake and some of the older boys will help you do this.  In
fact, they're kind of doing it now, so things will be okay."  Graham paused
again, but this time to control his emotions before delivery the next piece
of information.

"Brent also wanted me to let you know that he loves you and thanks you for
all you did for him, including letting him go on that trip.  He wanted you
to know he had a great time, even considering what happened on the way
home, but he doesn't blame anyone for that.  He also wants you to know he
enjoyed being part of our family and thought it was the best time of his
whole life.  He let me know that it was you and Kevin who finally taught
him what love was all about and how good it felt to be loved.  He's going
to be keeping in contact in the future too, through me of course, because
he feels bound to you because of the love you showed him.  He wants you to
know he'll try to help you take care of the rest of the family, even though
he isn't here to do it in person, so he'll use me to tell you if there's
something you should be made aware of."

At that moment, Graham got Brandon's attention and pointed at my face, to
show him the tear that had just been release from the corner of my left eye
and was rolling down my cheek.  By seeing that sign, he knew I had heard
and understood Brent's message.

After composing himself again, Graham gently used his shirt to wipe the
tear from my face, so he wouldn't have to explain it to anyone else who
might happen to see it.  Then he sat in the chair next to my bed and waited
for Jake and Danny to renter the room.

When the Danny and Jake came back inside, no one was any the wiser as to
what had happened.  As soon as they could, Graham filled Danny in about
what had happened while he was distracting Jake, but then he told both boys
he had one more thing to do and this was going to be even harder.  Brent
wanted Graham to also talk to Kevin for him.  Neither Danny nor Brandon
envied him that task, but told him to be tactful, since Kevin was still
vulnerable.  Graham said he would do his best and they left it at that.

Once they were back home and everything had quieted down, Graham went to
Kevin's room alone.  He knocked on the door and Kevin told him to come in,
but Graham admitted Kevin was surprised to see who was entering.  However,
Kevin patiently listened as Graham told his story about how Brent had come
to him and about the messages he'd been asked to pass along, including how
he had already given me Brent's message.  After an initial bout of shock
and struggling with this revelation, Kevin finally spoke.

"I knew he'd find a way to contact me," he told Graham, his face glowing.
"So what did he want you to tell me?"

"He wanted me to let you know he still loves you and always will, but he
especially wanted me to tell you your last time together was the most
special of all."  Kevin blushed at this comment, not knowing if Graham had
been told this was because they had made love before Brent went on that
trip, but it didn't matter now.  It only mattered that Brent still cared.

Graham had seen Kevin's attention drift, as he wondered about how much
Graham knew about that last time, so Graham paused before he continued.
Once Kevin was looking at him again, he knew he could finish what he had to
say.  "Brent also wanted me to tell you that nothing could have been done
to prevent what happened to him, but he didn't suffer and he's doing fine
where he is.  He also wants me to let you know that he wants you to find
someone to take his place, so you can be happy again.  He doesn't want you
to take this wrong though.  He insists he will be waiting for you when your
time comes to join him, but he doesn't want you to remain alone until
then."

"He really said that?  He really wants me to find someone else?" Kevin
repeated, astonished.

"Kevin, he loves you very much and he wants you to be happy," Graham
assured him.  "If he can't be here to make you happy, then he wants you to
find someone who can.  He doesn't want you to be alone or lonely until it's
time for you to join him.  He'll accept whomever you're with and then you
can all be together when the time comes, and love each other equally."

"He was always so special and so thoughtful," Kevin gushed.  "Can you tell
him I'll always love him too?"

"I don't have to," Graham said, with a slight grin on his lips, "because
he's always with you and says he'll watch over you until you're back at his
side."

"He will?  He said that?" Kevin gasped.  He was really pleased by the news,
until some other implications about what that meant also began to sink in.
"Does that mean he'll be with me if I find someone new and make love to
him?" Kevin wondered aloud, looking more than a little apprehensive.

"No, Brent said he'd give you your privacy at those times," Graham
confirmed, "but he'll be beside you at all other times, except for those."
Kevin suddenly looked relieved and was in better spirits than he had been
since we had learned about Brent's death.  Maybe now he'd be able to make
peace with what has happened and be able to go on and start over once
again.



Castaway Hotel -- Grand Reopening -- Book 5 by BW
Copyright 2009 by billwstories
Chapter 2 -- Stepping Up.

It had now been a couple of weeks since the accident that took Brent from
us and things were finally beginning to settle down at home.  After making
some very emotional decisions about moving on to college before I was home
from the hospital, Dustin and Frankie somewhat reluctantly left to begin
classes.  They were even looking forward to beginning this new phase of
their lives and making new friends, it was just difficult for them to do,
since they were still concerned about my recovery.  They had each thought
about sitting out a semester or two, so they could be around to help out at
home and make certain I was recovering, but that eventually changed.  After
having many conversations with Danny, Brandon and Jake, Jake was finally
able to convince them that Danny, Brandon and he could handle things at
home and the boys should not delay or pass up this opportunity.  Although
they agreed to move on with their lives, when they eventually did leave
home, a part of them remained -- the part that was worried about the
family's survival.

True to their promise, Danny and Brandon took charge of preparing meals,
doing the shopping and made certain all the other menial tasks got done,
like paying the bills.  Seeing how much that pair was doing, the rest of
the boys assumed responsibility for keeping the shared areas of the house
clean and doing the yard work.  The primary reason they all pitched in like
this was because none of them wanted to burden Uncle Jake to the point
where he didn't want to be around any longer and began to look forward to
finally being able to leave and move out on his own again.  They wanted him
to stick around, once I was back and able to carry on again, so they felt
it would be best if they did most of the chores.  Their goal was to do
everything possible to make Uncle Jake want to stay there with us, which
included remaining as my life's partner.  Regardless of their underlying
intentions, I was glad to learn they were all chipping in and dividing up
the additional workload.

Kevin would have probably done more to assist the others in these efforts,
if he had not been dealing with so many personal issues at the same time.
After all, he was among the oldest still at home and one of the three
seniors, but the others were willing to take into account all he had been
through and cut him some slack.  This wasn't because Kevin tried to get out
of work, since he pitched in and took over various chores as well, but
sometimes he would get distracted and his jobs would go unfinished.
Whenever this happened, the others would just pick up where he left off and
not make a big deal about it.  Fortunately, everyone was empathetic about
his loss, on top of everything else he'd had had to endure since he'd lived
with us, but none more so than Danny and Brandon.  They never put any
pressure on Kevin to assume a larger share of the workload and were usually
the ones who covered for him, so they others wouldn't notice it as much.

Jake informed me later that he had been physically at the house the whole
time, whenever he wasn't at work, so no one could say there wasn't an adult
there taking care of my sons, but he confessed he didn't feel he was much
help to them.  He said the boys proved to be very adept at taking care of
the household and each other, so he hardly had to lift a finger to keep
things running smoothly.  He explained he was willing to do more to help
out, but it seemed as if the boys didn't want him to do anything, so he
wouldn't change his mind about staying with them.  He promised me he'd
never do that, but assumed it was what the boys feared and the reason they
did everything for themselves.

Jake admitted that after watching how Danny and Brandon had jumped in and
taken charge of most things, he didn't want them to think he was butting in
or hinting that he didn't think they could handle it.  Therefore, he let
them do whatever they felt best, but he also let them know he was there to
pick up the slack, if they should need his help.  However, after seeing the
extent of the duties I had overseen and the vast quantities of food that
needed to be prepared, rooms to be cleaned and laundry to be done, he
admitted he wasn't sure he could have managed running the household on his
own.  He also made sure I knew how impressed he was with the older boys and
how they took care of everything, but he was even more impressed by the way
they helped the younger ones deal with their emotional issues throughout
that time.

Jake explained, in poignant detail, how Danny and Brandon, as well as
Dustin and Frankie before they left for college, had helped calm their
younger siblings' fears and continually reassured them everything would be
fine.  They kept telling the younger one I was getting better every day and
would be with them again soon, but also reminded them that the family would
never be split up.  Danny and Brandon actually told the boys they'd help
take care of them, with help from Uncle Jake, Uncle Steve, Aunt Mary and
Aunt Sally, but they should know that none of the adults would ever let
anyone split up the family.

Jake then went on to tell me how he often saw Danny and Brandon spending
time with various individuals or working with small groups, answering their
questions, listening to their concerns or helping them solve a problem, but
he said the most memorable thing he saw was one night when he went up to
check on everyone and found Sammy and Andrew cuddled up with Danny and
Brandon on their bed.  He said that he was touched by how the older pair
was willing to give up their time alone to comfort their younger brothers,
which seemed much more important to them then being intimate with each
other.

Jake assured me that Shannon was also doing what he could to help out and
usually spent his time with the boys closer to his own age, doing whatever
he could to help maintain a normal atmosphere.  He and Nick seemed to hit
it off almost immediately, although I was concerned that might just be
another of Nick's conquests, but Shannon had also became close with Trey
and Dion as well.  Jake told me that Shannon and Pat had also hit it off,
which surprised me a little.  Ever since Pat had temporarily lost his
eyesight, he had become much more independent, possibly as a result of
having to rely on others so much during the time he was without his vision.
Pat wasn't going out of his way to shun anyone's attention or company, but
he fiercely fought to retain the ability to look after himself, which I
believe he felt was the most troubling part about being blind.  The other
major change in him since that time was that he also threw himself into his
studies and academic pursuits, as it appeared he had decided to take
advantage of his good eye for as long as it lasted.

The boys also made sure to put Jake in my room while I was in the hospital,
but I think they had a hidden agenda for doing that.  First, I think they
felt that since he was the ranking adult in the home, he should stay in the
master bedroom.  However, I also believed they might have had an ulterior
motive as well, and that was to get him used to sleeping in my room, so he
would continue to stay there with me after I returned.  After all, they had
been trying to fix us up with each other for quite some time, and this
wasn't about to stop just because I had suffered a medical setback.  They
also made sure to talk to him about me, under the disguise of unburdening
their souls, and filled Jake in about various things we had done together
or reminisced about the occasions I had been there for them.  In actuality,
I believe they were trying to convince Jake what a terrific guy I was and
what a great catch I'd be, if he didn't think that already.  Those little
devils have no shame.

By the time my doctors decided to remove me from the drugs they had been
using to keep me basically comatose so I could heal, I'd been in the
hospital for nearly three full- weeks.  The first time the boys saw me with
my eyes open and alert, they acted as if they had just received that one,
special Christmas present they had always dreamed of.  Each group of
visitors began to dance about excitedly, while they all talked to me
simultaneously, and then they began to interrogate me about when I'd be
coming home for good.

I must admit I had to fight the urge to join in their enthusiasm, as it was
extremely contagious.  Instead, I managed to keep myself from getting
overly excited, which was actually more difficult than it sounds, since I
was euphoric about seeing them all again, especially as happy as they
appeared to be.  However, I knew I couldn't risk the chance of a relapse
and ending up confined to the hospital for an even longer period of time,
if something worse happened.  Therefore, I managed to keep a grip on my
emotions and just enjoyed our time together.

Before each group left the room, I made them promise not to tell the others
about my change in condition, so they'd be just as excited and surprised
when they entered for their visit.  I knew it would be difficult for them
to do this, especially since it didn't seem as if anyone could wipe the
smiles off of his face, but they promised to do their best not to give the
secret away.  For the most part it worked, as each set of boys seemed
surprised, yet pleased, to see me propped up in bed and alert.

After their visit ended and Jake drove them home, I thought about how
wonderful it had been to see them again and how I wanted to get back home
with them full-time.  In order to do that, I would have to follow my
doctor's orders and take special care of myself, not only now, but also in
the future.  I understood that meant I would have to get myself in better
shape and maintain it, if I didn't want to orphan the boys before they were
grown and on their own.

Before their next visit to the hospital, the boys decided in advance that
it might be best for all of us if we were able to spend a few minutes alone
with each other, instead of always being in a group.  With that in mind,
they worked out a schedule at home and, one by one, came to see me.  Most
of them began their visit by asking me how I was doing or telling me how
much they'd missed me, but then we'd quickly get into much more personal
issues.  I had to agree they had been correct about seeing me individually,
as these visits were much more special than our earlier times together.

I think the two most poignant visits came from Kevin and Graham, which I
probably should have expected.  When Kevin came in to see me, I was
surprised to see him smiling when he entered.  Not only did I remember how
difficult it had been for him to deal with Brent's passing, but some of the
other boys had also kept me informed about how withdrawn he had become
afterward.  When I asked him how he was doing, he only hesitated briefly
and took a few deep breaths, before he began to tell me what I wanted to
know.

"I still miss him, Dad.  I really do and I probably always will," he began,
"but after Graham told me Brent didn't suffer and was at peace with what
happened, it made it easier for me to accept and go on too.  Brent even
told Graham he'd been watching over me and didn't mind if I fell in love
with someone else, because he wanted me to be happy."  After telling me
this, I could see that Kevin had made huge strides in dealing with his
loss.

"I don't know if you know this," Kevin continued, "but Graham told me that
Brent said our last time together was wonderful and very special to him.
That's when I knew what Graham was telling me was the truth and he had
actually communicated with Brent.  No one else knew about that night,
except the two of us and you, when I told you about it after he was
killed."  At that moment I feared Kevin might slip back into his
depression, as he momentarily dwelled on the fact that Brent was gone, but
fortunately that didn't happen.

"That night with him was very special to me too," he added, "and something
I will remember for as long as I live."  As he confirmed that for me, Kevin
had this glow on his face, which lent more credence to his words.  It
wasn't as if I didn't believe him, but to shine outwardly as he temporarily
revisited those wonderful moments, only proved to me the depth of his
feelings.

After spending a few more moments thinking about their last evening
together, Kevin refocused on me and continued our conversation.  "I'm sure
glad you're doing better now," he confessed, "because I don't know if I
would have handled losing you too.  I may not tell you this often enough,
Dad, but you mean so much to me.  You've been there for me through some of
the darkest periods of my life and you've helped me cope with things I
probably couldn't have handled without you being there for me.  No matter
how many bad things have happened in my life, they'll never equal the most
wonderful thing that ever happened for me, and that's meeting you and
becoming your son and part of this family.  I love you, Dad, and I want you
to be around until I'm old and gray too."

Needless to say, I was quite choked up by his comment and it took a few
seconds before I could say anything back to him.  I think he understood
what was happening and wasn't bothered by the delay in my response, but
once I collected my emotions, I spoke to him from the bottom of my heart.
"Kevin, as much as I'd like to promise you that's what will happen, we both
know there is no way to know that for certain.  Instead, I will promise you
that for as long as I am on this earth I will do everything I can to be
there for you, whenever you need me or in whatever other ways you want.  I
just have to disagree with you slightly on one point though..." I
continued, but I when I noticed the sudden change in Kevin's facial
expression, it caused me to stop speaking for a moment.  After thinking
about it briefly, I think he was afraid about what I was going to disagree
with.  However, once I understood what was troubling him, I continued.

"Kevin, no matter what you think or say, I am the one who has been truly
blessed," I told him.  "You have been a nearly continual ray of sunshine
for me and we've always seemed to have this special bond with each other,
possibly because of all of the difficult times we've shared.  Even if I
could go back and live my life over, I wouldn't want to think of living it
without you in it."

"Even with all of my problems and the dark cloud that hangs over my head?"
he teased.

"With all that and more," I assured him.  "Having you, and the rest of your
brothers, in my life was responsible for reenergizing me and giving me a
new incentive to go on.  I'm just pleased I was able to be there for you
during all the good times and the bad, and I hope that never changes."  We
hugged after I finished telling him that and then Kevin gave me a kiss on
the cheek, before he told me he was going to be fine and I was to hurry up
and get well, so I could return home with him.

By the time Graham arrived to speak with me, I had heard so many positive
things about him from the others that I'd began to look at him in a new
light.  His ability to communicate with Brent had seemed to put everyone at
ease, by letting each of them know that death was not something to be
feared or continually grieved over.  It also seemed to reaffirm our faith
in God and our belief in an afterlife, strengthening those concepts that we
sometimes seemed to question when things didn't go as we wished.  As he
walked toward me, I flashed him a huge grin and thanked him for passing
along Brent's message.

"I knew you heard me!" he exclaimed, sensing it was that news that had
helped me recover more quickly.  "It was even hard for me to believe, that
I had actually communicated with him, but I knew you'd believe me, even if
no one else did."  His smile spread from ear to ear and he seemed so proud
and excited that I feared he might burst, and then he came over and gave me
the biggest hug I had received thus far.  As he was squeezing me around the
neck, he suddenly pulled back, a look of concern now covering his face.  I
must have looked bewildered, for I actually was, but then he went on to
explain.

"I wasn't hurting you or making it hard for your heart to work, was I?" he
asked, deeply concerned. Suddenly, I understood what was going through his
mind, so I sought to ease his concerns.  I smiled at him, pulled him down
to me and then returned his hug.

"If anything," I whispered in his ear, "that hug helped to heal my heart
and make it work better."  After hearing that, he hugged me again, even
harder this time than he had before.  When he finally released me, he
looked down at me and spoke again.

"Well, I guess I'll have to come here every day, so I can hug you even
more, if it will help you get back home sooner."  I was so touched by his
comment that I responded by pulling his body against mine, so I could
embrace him once more, while whispering words of gratitude as I did so.

After continuing our hug for a while longer, I told him how truly special
he was and that God had chosen very wisely when he gave Graham this unique
gift.  We then discussed his special ability in more detail over the next
several minutes, and then I tried to address his concerns about the burden
it also thrust upon him.  I'm not sure I ever appreciated how insightful he
was prior to this time, or how philosophically he looked at certain issues,
but I was deeply impressed that this young man seemed to possess a wisdom
one would have thought impossible because of the learning difficulties he
suffered from.  As his visiting time began to run out, I promised him we'd
discuss this further when I got home, and that seemed to satisfy him for
the time being.

I think the doctor actually made me stay in the hospital longer than he
would have any other patient, simply due to the fact that he feared the
pressures at home were greater for me than his usual patients.  However,
what he didn't understand was that the boys actually did more to eliminate
the stress, than to add to it.  I was finally able to convince my cardiac
specialist that I'd recover faster at home with my loved ones around and
got him to relent, so I was scheduled to return home, although it came with
a long list of restrictions.

When Jake and the boys came for their next visit, they were overjoyed when
I explained the doctor had agreed to let me come home the following
morning.  After asking me what I'd need for them to bring down or what I'd
need when I got home, they also quizzed my doctor when he made his next
rounds.  They first inquired as to what I could and shouldn't do, and once
all their questions had been answered, they nearly bounced around the room.
They appeared to be more excited about my return than even I was, and I
didn't think that was possible.

Jake, Kevin and Graham showed up at my room very early the following
morning, and Jake told me he had to fight with the boys over whom could
come with him.  After many minutes of give and take, and Jake's insistence
that no more than two of them could accompany him, the other boys finally
agreed Kevin and Graham should be the ones to go.  However, the others made
it clear they couldn't wait to see me again, once I got home, but thought
the other pair had earned the right to be there when I was released.

As he continued his story, Jake told me he had been awakened that morning
between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m., by the sounds of the boys milling around the
house.  He said he wasn't sure if they'd even slept that evening, since
they were all walking on air knowing I'd be with them again soon.  This
information touched me deeply, as I realized how much the boys looked
forward to my rejoining them.

Jake and the boys were already to take me out of there as soon as they
arrived, but I had to explain that I couldn't leave until the doctor made
his final visit and gave me his final clearance.  However, he wouldn't be
arriving at the hospital until at least 8:00, so they grudgingly
acknowledged we'd have to wait a little longer, even though they didn't
want me to linger in this place for even a second longer than was
absolutely necessary.

While we waited, Jake told me how the boys had tried to talk him in to
bringing them down here, just as soon as he awoke.  Jake was laughing as he
told me how he had to explain to them that it was only five in the morning
and the hospital wouldn't release me that early.  Besides, he also pointed
out I was probably still asleep as well.  After grudgingly conceding those
points, the boys insisted they be here by no later than 7:00, because they
wanted me home as quickly as could be arranged.  Therefore, Jake led them
out to the car a little after 6:30, but he intentionally drove slower than
he normally would have, so they wouldn't arrive too soon.  However, they
still walked through my doorway at precisely 7:00 a.m.

By the time doctor arrived, in was closer to 8:30.  I had not only finished
my breakfast, but had sat and watched the local and national morning news
shows with the three who had come to pick me up.  However, even after the
doctor had confirmed I could return home, it took another forty or fifty
minutes before I got my release from the business office and an orderly
showed up with a wheelchair, to give me a ride down to the main entrance.
Jake left when the orderly arrived, so he had the car waiting for me as
soon as I was wheeled outside.

Oh, it felt sooooo good to get out in the fresh air again and be free of
that sterile smelling environment, but I was even more pleased at how Kevin
and Graham tried to help me get from the wheelchair to the front seat,
almost pushing the orderly aside in the process so they could take care of
me.  It was constant little gestures like that, which only proved to me how
much I was loved and needed.

As we approached the house and pulled into the driveway, I looked out the
windshield and immediately spotted the banner welcoming me home.  It was
strung across the front porch, with a bunch of balloons tied to either side
of it and attached to the columns supporting the porch roof.  As the
vehicle came to a stop, a wave of screaming young men came pouring out of
the house, as they raced to greet me.  I swear, if I didn't already love
them so much and wasn't so damn proud of them already, that moment alone
would have been enough to steal my heart forever.

I was so overwhelmed by their welcome that when I opened my mouth to speak,
no words would come out.  It must have made me look like a fish gulping in
water to extract oxygen, but eventually I was able to find my tongue and
thank them for the wonderful welcome.  The boys were visibly excited, yet
each of them made sure they didn't jostle me and gave me plenty of room.
They were also all talking at once and telling me how happy they were that
I was back home.

After getting them calmed down sufficiently, I slowly made my way up the
sidewalk and neared our front door.  That's when I discovered the giant
homemade greeting card they had attached to the screen door, which
announced, 'Welcome Home, Dad/Pop.'  Seeing how much trouble the boys had
gone to not only brought tears to my eyes, but it also created a humongous
lump in my throat.

Once I finally got inside, I discovered my next surprise.  Waiting for me
in the living room was the rest of my family, both extended and honorary
family, to give me their own welcome home wishes.  For the rest of the day,
everyone pampered me like a spoiled rich kid who thought the world revolved
around his needs.  Although their intentions were honorable, I felt very
ill at ease from all of their pampering.  I know they were merely doing
what they thought was best for me, but it had always been my job to take
care of everyone else and I was uncomfortable with this role reversal.

Sally must have sensed my discomfort, because she came over and whispered
in my ear that I had earned this special treatment and should be gracious
enough to accept it, at least until the doctor gave me a clean bill of
health.  I merely look up and smiled at her, while barely nodding my head
in resignation, to let her know that I understood and appreciated her
message.

As I moved into the living room, I suddenly became aware of a piece of
furniture that had not been there before.  It was a brand new recliner,
complete with a giant red bow tied around it.  It was then that I learned
the boys had all dipped into their own money to get this for me.  After
thanking them for their thoughtfulness, I asked them how they had decided
on this particular present.  That's when they admitted that they had been
stumped as to what to get me, although they wanted it to be something
special -- something I'd use and enjoy, so that's when Jake offered the
suggestion, after getting ideas from my cardiologist, and then helped them
pick it out.  They immediately had me sit in it, to see if I liked it,
which I assured them I did.

At that point, Jake made sure to also let me know that our last golf outing
had convinced him this was the most appropriate gift I could received,
after he thought back and remembered how sore I'd been when I got home.  I
didn't understand what he was getting at, until Andrew flipped and started
the chair vibrating beneath me.  It was a massaging recliner!  Jake also
told me the boys wouldn't accept any of his money, since they wanted this
to be just from them, so I thanked them all and relaxed in my new favorite
chair.

Aunt Sally, Aunt Mary, my daughters and daughter-in-law had conspired to
whip up a big meal for everyone, and even made a special meal for me, which
conformed to my doctor's orders.  Since they didn't want to feel left out,
the Spences provided several different desserts, including a special treat
for me, which again met my dietary restrictions.  It was a very good meal,
even though mine was a little on the bland side, but I had a wonderful time
and was grateful that everyone had shown up to see me.

Those living locally left fairly early, after explaining I needed to rest
and take it easy and they didn't want to wear me out on my first day home.
They did promise to visit me again soon and I thanked them for everything
they had done, before telling them how much I loved each of them.

My older children and grandchildren were going to be staying over for a few
days, but they all took it easy on me too.  My grandchildren took turns
sitting with papa on his new chair, and I think they got a kick out of the
way it vibrated beneath us, but they remained quite calm while we watched
television or videos together.

When it came time for us to go to bed, Jake told me he was going to spend
the evening with Shannon, on the sleeper sofa in the living room, and the
other boys had already teamed up with their brothers to open up rooms for
their older siblings.  I did overhear some of the boys telling Jake he
should stay in my room, so he could keep an eye on me, especially if I
needed anything during the night, but Jake assured them he was concerned
about what my older children might think.  The boys then explained they had
already told them he had been staying at the house and taking care of them
and would be remaining until I got better, but Jake told them he could hear
me from the living room, if I should need him later.  The boys weren't
thrilled with that decision, but let the subject drop, as they didn't want
to start a commotion and get me excited.

However, that situation quickly changed, once my older children returned to
their homes, and Jake showed no signs of feeling out of place sharing my
room with me after that.  I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed
feeling him beside me, since it felt like he'd always been by my side and
belonged there.  From that moment on, I knew Jake was going to become a
permanent fixture in our lives and he and Shannon had become more than just
extended family.  Whether the boys realized it at that time or not, it was
obvious their matchmaking efforts would have a lasting impact.


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