Date: Fri, 23 May 2003 14:48:26 EDT
From: Bwstories8@aol.com
Subject: The Castaway Hotel-Book 6, chapter 19

Legal Notice:
The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts.
The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality.

Don't read this story if:
**You're not 18 or over,
**If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live,
**Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex.

The author retains copyright to this story.  Placing this story on a
website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's
permission is a violation of that copyright.  Legal action will be taken
against violators.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter, and Art for his additional input on each chapter.

E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions, or other 'constructive'
comments or advice may be sent to: bwstories8@aol.com.

                *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Although the boys in these stories have unprotected sex, I strongly urge
all of you out there to be smart and protect yourselves from various
sexually transmitted diseases by using condoms when having intercourse.

                *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

The Castaway Hotel-Book 6-by BW (Young-Friends).  Copyright 2000 by billwstories
Chapter 19 - Our worst nightmare.                 November 2002

The center began Cody's chemo treatments the next day, and the drugs thaat
were used really seemed to wipe Cody out.  Within the hour, after the
treatment was administered, he would fall asleep and then be out for an
hour or two.  Graham and I would stay beside him as he slept, and Graham
would fuss over him during that time.  Graham would do such things as brush
the hair off of Cody's face, hold his hand, stroking his arm, and
occasionally, when he thought just the three of us were in the room, he
would give Cody a kiss.  It was very cute to watch, and it reminded me of
the way a mother would take care of her child.

Graham had even asked me if he could sleep with Cody, but I couldn't allow
that, because the nurses would have had a fit if they came in and
discovered that was happening.  However, there was one nurse who I think
caught on to how close the two boys actually were, and she kind of looked
the other way when things like that would happen.

For example, when that nurse came in to give Cody a sponge bath one day,
Graham asked if he could help.  I know that he wouldn't have done that with
any of the other nurses, but he seemed to feel comfortable with her, so he
got up his courage and asked that question.  She told him he could wash the
'more sensitive' areas, as that might make Cody feel better that she wasn't
doing them, and he leaped at the opportunity.  She left the room as he did
this, but Graham also took time to grab the electric razor from my travel
kit and tidy the area up a bit, while he was at it, and Cody thought that
was a stitch.  He just wasn't sure how he'd explain it to the other nurses,
when they noticed the difference.

When bedtime did roll around, I would let Graham use the second bed, and I
would sleep in the reclining chair that was also in the room, but that only
happened for a couple of nights.  One morning, when the doctor came in
early to see Cody, he discovered what we had been doing, so he had another
bed moved into the room.  Luckily, his wasn't that small of a room, and
although it made it a little cramped in there, everything fit, and now we
each had a bed to sleep in.

After the doctor had fixed that problem for us, I also wanted to find out
how he thought things were going for Cody.  When he left the room, I
followed him out in to the hall, so I could make my inquiry in private.  As
soon as the door to the room was closed, I asked my question.  "Doc, is he
getting any better?" I wanted to know, now that we were out of earshot of
the other two.

He didn't answer me right away, but the look he gave me as he turned around
told me as much as any words could.  After an awkward pause, he answered
me.  "I'm sorry, but he's not responding well to the chemotherapy.  The
tumors have hardly been affected, and the drugs are throwing his other
bodily functions off, so I'm considering stopping the treatment."

"Then what would you do next?" I asked, concerned.

"If I do stop the treatments, I'm not sure what, if anything, we could do
next.  I've consulted with several of my colleagues about this, and I've
shown them his complete medical file, but as of yet we haven't come up with
any better solution.  However, we aren't going to give up until we've
considered every other option.  I know this isn't easy for you, but none of
us are giving up on him."

"We appreciate that, but can't you contact other specialists in this field,
to see if they know of any other options?"

"I've already done that, but so far none of them has come up with any
better suggestions.  We'll all keep trying, but for right now, I don't know
what else I can tell you.  There is another complication, however.  It
appears as though Cody is also suffering from a fungal infection around his
brain, and that might cause him to start having seizures.  That will only
complicate the situation.  I wish I had better news for you, but this is
all I have to offer."

Hearing this, I was somewhat devastated.  Even though he promised not to
give up trying to help Cody, the implications behind what he had told me
painted a different picture.  He seemed to be saying that, at present,
there wasn't much he could do for my boy.  Now I was determined to confront
him and find out for sure.  "Doc, is he going to die?" I asked, point
blank.

"Josh, there is no easy way to put this, but unless someone alerts me to
some new procedure or some miracle cure, I think we're running out of
time."

My heart sank when I heard his reply, and my knees became weak.  I think
the doctor noticed this too, and he reached out his arm to steady me.  "Are
you all right, Josh?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm not sure if I'll ever be all right, unless we find a way to save my
boy.  I've already lost one son, in an auto accident, and I'm not sure if I
can survive losing another one.  You've got to promise me that you'll go
that extra mile to try to save him, no matter what it costs.  Money isn't
an issue here."

The doctor looked shocked by my statement, but I think he understood what I
meant and why I said it.  He was very comforting in his response.  "Josh,
I'll do everything for your son and give him the same effort I would if he
were my own child.  Money is never the main issue with me, so you don't
have to worry about that.  I promise you I will give this my best effort,
and Cody will receive my utmost attention."

This did help to reassure me a little, but the reality of the situation was
beginning to hit home.  How in the world would I be able to cope with
losing another son, especially when the loss of the first one almost killed
me?  Even though I was being prepared for this in advance, Graham had sort
of prepared me for Brent's death too, but that still came as a shock.  I'm
not sure I would be able to handle this one any better than the first,
since I still believe that a parent shouldn't have to see his children die
before him.  I decided it was time to turn to prayer, and seek heavenly
assistance with this matter.

Later, when I called home and talked to Jake, I explained the situation to
him, and he tried to offer me his support as well.  I told him to start
preparing the boys for this possibility, without coming out and telling
them Cody was going to die, but I didn't want them to be shocked, if
something did happen to him.  He said he would do that, and then he
suggested he would bring all the boys here this coming weekend, so they
could visit Cody, and maybe that would help lift his spirits.  I told him
that might be a good idea, but he couldn't fit all the boys in one vehicle
together, so he told me he'd have Mark or Dustin drive the other vehicle,
as they were the oldest and most experienced of our other drivers.  I
agreed with that, and then Jake asked me what things he could bring for us.
He now understood I would be staying here for a while, and wanted to make
sure I had everything I'd need for the stay, and we even discussed what we
should do about Graham.

I knew there was no way I could convince Graham to leave Cody, but I wasn't
sure how he would handle it if he saw Cody die.  After talking this over
for many minutes with Jake, we decided that there wouldn't be all that much
difference in his reaction, whether he was with Cody at the time or not.
However, we concluded it might be better for him to deal with Cody's death,
if he was there for him at the end.  Otherwise, he might always have some
issues to deal with, such as regrets about not being there for him when he
finally passed, so I told Jake to bring some things for Graham too, as we
might not be home for a number of days.

The next morning I called and reserved rooms for Jake and the boys at a
near-by hotel, and I informed both Cody and Graham that the rest of the
family was coming for a visit.  I knew the others would probably only be
allowed to see Cody in groups of two or three at a time, so Graham and I
would make ourselves scarce while they were here, to give them an
opportunity to be there for Cody too.  I not only talked this over
privately with Graham one afternoon, while Cody was sleeping, but I also
arranged it with Cody's doctor, so there would be no problems when they all
arrived.  I think the doctor was quite amazed when I told him how many
people that meant, but he did agree to let them visit Cody three at a time,
but he told me he knew we'd be the talk of the hospital, for months to
come.

I also mentioned the visit to our favorite nurse, the one who was so good
with Graham and Cody, but she too reacted in disbelief, when she became
aware of all the details.  At first I think she thought we were pulling her
leg, but then we showed her the family picture, to prove our point.  Even
though she had seen that photo sitting there before, she told us she
thought it was of a group Cody belonged to, or possibly a picture of his
extended family, including his cousins.  Once I explained who each of the
boys was, and how they came to live with me, she realized this was no joke,
and she told me she'd prepare the rest of the staff for what was to come.

I also made sure to call my older children, and explain the situation to
them as well, just in case they also wanted to come to visit Cody.  I
advised them against bringing my grandchildren, as I thought they were all
still too young to deal with this situation, and they agreed, but they all
told me they would come and visit anyway, and they'd leave the kids with
friends back home.  I told them to let me know exactly when they'd be here,
so I could reserve rooms for them, and they told me they would, as they
took down the number for the phone I had hooked up in Cody's room.  I
originally had this done so he could talk to everyone while I was gone, but
now it took on an even greater importance, as it would become the
information hub concerning Cody's condition.  I still held great hope that
a miracle awaited us, but I conceded that I needed to be a realist too.

Before my children arrived, I had an opportunity to speak to the doctor
alone again, as I wanted to see if there were any changes in Cody's
condition.  "Doc, have you discovered anything new since we last spoke?"

"No, Josh, I'm sorry.  No one from any of the other cancer centers has been
able to offer us any other options."

"Then there's no chance for him?"

"I wish I could say there was, but I'm afraid there isn't."

I couldn't respond right away, as I was too choked up with emotion at that
point, but the doctor was patient, and waited for me to regain my
composure.  When I did, I tried to clear up another question.  "Do you
think it would be better if I took him home for what little time he has
left?  I think he would feel more comfortable there."

"Josh, he's liable to be in considerable pain at the end and having
seizures, and we'll be better equipped to manage his pain here.  Besides,
how will your boys react if he dies at home?  Would they be able to put
that behind them later, or even be able to enter the room he dies in
without thinking about the fact that it was where he passed?"

"No, I suppose you're right, but can we at least have permission to have
everyone who wants to be there, present when that time comes?"

"Certainly," he told me, though we were both a little choked up at that
point, but I could tell he was willing to do anything to help us get
through this when it happened.

That weekend everyone showed up.  Some of them arrived on Friday, while
others got there before noon on Saturday, but the whole family had rallied
around our stricken loved one.  As various groups began to arrive, the
staff allowed them to go in and see Cody, three at a time, but I told them
to keep the conversation light.  I suggested they talk about things at
home, or maybe recall something memorable or humorous that had happened in
the past.  We also asked them not to discuss the seriousness of this
condition with Cody, as we didn't want him to panic or lose his incentive
to fight against this illness.  Everyone agreed to those conditions, and
they started going in to see him in shifts, for fifteen to twenty minutes
at a time.

Cody was quite excited when he began to receive visitors, and he thought it
was nice that everyone had come so far just to see him.  The early
conversations were about how he was feeling, what types of things they had
done to him so far, or if he had any trouble sleeping, especially with me
snoring in the same room.  Broaching that topic usually meant it would
progress with Cody doing an exaggerated impression of my nocturnal sound
show, and this would get everyone laughing, including Cody.  Some of the
boys also asked Cody about the food here, wanting to know if it was better
or worse than what they served at school.  He would tell them that it was
okay, but nothing special, judging it to be in the same league with the
general school fare.

These visits seemed to go very well, and they appeared to lift Cody's
spirits and make him lose focus on his concerns about dying.  However, some
of these visits were interrupted by Cody's seizures, and all the boys would
be asked to leave for a while, until the seizures had ended and Cody had
been able to rest a bit.  Even though there were these minor setbacks, I
thought everything was going quite well, until late Saturday night, just
before we went to sleep.  Cody had been in a fairly good mood for the past
couple of days, but after everyone left his room that night, he began to
get very serious again.  Graham had gone out to eat with the others, as we
had all been living on hospital cuisine for longer than we cared to.
Knowing he would benefit from the change, Cody and I talked him in to going
with the others for dinner, and possibly a movie, just so he could have a
brief break.  Cody had tried to get me to join them as well, but there was
no way I was going to leave him, unless he suddenly got better.  I would
never be able to forgive myself, if he should expire while I was away.

Now that we were alone, he must have felt it was time to clear the air a
bit.  As he turned toward me, his facial expression was so sad and so
pathetic looking, that it would have melted the heart of the most cold
hearted person who had ever lived.  I suddenly felt a lump forming in my
throat, even before he began to speak.

"They're all here because they know I'm going to die, aren't they?"  I
tried to mask my surprise and control my emotions as I responded, but my
resolve was now shaken, and my acting abilities weren't up to the task.

"No, Cody.  They're here because they love you and care about you.  They
came to show their support, and let you know how much they want you to get
better."  I put on as brave a face as I could for him, but I think he
noticed the cracks in my mask.

"Dad, you can tell me the truth," he responded, his eyes now pleading with
me not to treat him like a little child.  "It's going to happen pretty
soon, isn't it?  I know, because I'm feeling weaker every day."

"Cody, I won't lie to you, you are very sick and it's possible that you
might not make it.  However the weakness you are feeling is because of the
chemotherapy and the seizures you've been having.  You must remember how
the chemotherapy did that to you the last time too, don't you?"  He nodded,
and then gave me his 'don't try to fool me' look.

"I remember how it was the last time, but this time it's not the same.  I
can feel the difference, and I didn't have seizures before."

"Well, not every time is the same, and last time you were taking the drugs
to kill the diseased cells in your body.  This time you're taking different
drugs, to shrink all the tumors, and you didn't have this other infection
before either.  I think it might have something to do with the difference
in the drugs, and what they're meant for.  That might make it seem a little
different to you, but that would only be normal."

"Maybe you're right, Dad, but I don't know.  I just have this feeling." I
cut him off.  I didn't like where this was going, and I still prayed there
might still be a chance for him.  If there was, it would have to begin with
him, so I intended to try to put him in the right frame of mind, to help
make it possible.

"Well, you just get rid of that feeling then, because you'll have to fight,
if you want to get better.  Any doctor will tell you that one of the
biggest factors in a person's getting well, is his mental attitude, so
you'll just have to let go of all those morbid thoughts.  If you don't,
then I'm afraid your fears might come true, as that negative energy will
work its way through not only your mind, but your body as well."

He seemed to consider the meaning of my words, before he responded, and he
looked very thoughtful when he eventually did.  "Do you really think it can
make that big of a difference?"

"Yes, Cody, I do."  He took another minute to reflect on this before he
decided what to do next.  Finally he reached his own conclusion.

"Okay, if it's that important, then I'll try not to think about dying any
more."  He gave me a weak smile at this point, almost making me feel like
he was doing this more for me, than himself.  Regardless of the reason, I
just hoped he was true to his word.

"Good," I told him, to let him know I approved.  "You just spend your time
concentrating on getting better, and that will make all of us very happy."
He smiled at me again, after I said that, and then we hugged.  Hopefully a
change in outlook might at least make him feel better, if nothing else.

On Sunday, the others began to leave, but they each took the time to stop
in and say good-bye to Cody before they did so.  They didn't do it as if it
was their final farewell with him, but it was like when we would take one
of the boys to college.  Everyone made sure they let him know they'd see
him again when he got home, though they didn't go into detail about how
that might be.  I don't think any of us were unable to come to grips with
the seriousness of his situation, but we all preferred to hold out the
little bit of hope that his condition might improve and he would have at
least a few more years with us.  I was proud of the way they all handled
themselves, and I think they did a good enough job to make Cody consider
the possibility that he might be wrong in thinking he wasn't going to make
it.

Now that the others had gone, it was just the three of us again, and Graham
didn't want to leave Cody's side now.  He had spent much more time away
from him over the weekend than he was comfortable with, and now he seemed
determined to make up for that fact.  It just happened that the boys'
favorite nurse was on the night shift that evening, and I overheard Graham
making a special request of her.  I wasn't sure how she was going to
respond, but she merely smiled at the two of them and said, "If you boys
want to sleep together tonight, I'll make sure no one else comes in here to
disturb you.  I know what it's like to have a boyfriend too."  She winked
as she said this, causing Graham to blush slightly, but Cody let out a weak
laugh, as he seemed to enjoy her perceptiveness.  "I'll also make sure all
his monitor wires on are one side of his bed," she continued, "so you can
sleep on his other side, and not get tangled up in them.  Does that sound
okay for the two of you?"

They both smiled and nodded to her, letting her know it was more than okay,
and they both thanked her for arranging this for them.  After she left the
room, Graham looked over at me, to see if I was upset that he didn't clear
that with me first, so I just gave him a wink, to let him know I was fine
with what happened.  Having received my tacit approval, he seemed to relax
a bit.  Over the next hour or so, the nurse prepared everything like she
had told them, so they knew this was going to happen.  Graham got ready for
bed, putting on a pair of pajamas, and then climbed into the bed, beside
Cody.  He gently began to snuggle against him, so as not to hurt him in any
way, and I could see Cody's beaming face, even from the other side of the
room.  At that point, I lay on my side, facing away from the pair, as I
wasn't sure how much privacy they might need tonight.

The night nurse woke Graham the next morning, and had him move to his own
bed, before she went off duty.  When Cody awoke later, he looked around for
Graham, but then figured out why they weren't still together.  I must
admit, Cody looked better than I had seen him look in quite awhile, so that
must have helped him some.  This morning he had a little more color in his
cheeks, his smile appeared to be a little broader, and he had the look of a
young man in love.  If only the other nurses were as understanding about
their relationship, maybe the boys could do this on other occasions too,
and Cody might able to keep the glow he had now.  That nurse did mention
that's she'd be on this shift for a couple of weeks now, so maybe she'd let
them continue doing this, as long as she was the one on duty.  If it made
this much of a change in Cody, I hoped she'd stay on this shift as long as
he was still here.

Outside of the seizures Cody would experience at various times, which grew
more severe as the infection affected his brain, things went as well as
could be expected for the next few days.  That nurse did continue to allow
the boys to spend their evenings together, which seemed to be important to
both of them and helped them cope a little better with what was going on.
She and I talked at one point, and she told me that she had a nephew who
was gay, and she had seen the abuse that he took from his peers, and she
had also noticed how isolated he seemed from the rest of the world.  She
felt his pain, and tried to do whatever she could to help ease his
suffering, and she was thrilled that she could extend this same support to
other boys, in a similar situation.  I thanked her for her concern and
support, and explained more about our family, letting her know that she
could have her nephew contact us, if he wanted to talk to other boys like
himself, or if he just needed some moral support.  She told me she would
pass that information along to him, pleased that she could now do more for
him too.  She also added a comment for the boys, letting them know that
she'd knock on the door and wait a minute before she opened it, in case
they needed a moment to get decent before she entered.  It was tactfully
put, but we all knew what she meant, and I was grateful that she was there
for all of us, during this time.

By mid week, however, things began to change.  Not only were the seizures
becoming more frequent, but Cody was also laboring to breathe, so the
doctor had him taken down for another MRI.  When they came back with him, I
could tell by the look on the doctor's face that things were not good.
"I'm sorry, but not only were we not able to shrink the tumors, they are
spreading and getting larger.  It's putting a great deal of strain on his
lungs and other organs.  The tumors on the lungs are leaving a limited area
for oxygen to be absorbed through the tissue and into his bloodstream, so
it's making it difficult for him to breathe.  We're going to put him on
pure oxygen, to make sure more oxygen is getting into his blood, but that
is about all I'll be able to do for him."

"Is this the beginning of the end?" I asked, needing to know what to
expect.

"Most likely it is.  He may show some signs of improvement at times, but
for the most part, he'll just get worse.  The weight of the tumors in his
lungs will make breathing painful for him, so I'll make sure I give him
some narcotics, to make it more bearable for him.  I wish I had better news
for you, but I think it's best you know what lies ahead."

"I know, and I thank you for that.  It's not your fault that science isn't
outpacing all the various illnesses.  Maybe someday others of your
profession may know what to do to help other boys with this problem, but I
thank you for everything you have tried to do for us."  No matter how
sincere I had tried to be with him, he did not look entirely comforted by
my words.  I think he felt bad that he hadn't been able to do more for
Cody, but we understood he was limited more by the lack of advancement in
medical science, than because of lack of effort.

After he left, I waited for Cody to fall asleep, and then I took Graham out
in the hall and explained things to him.  He began to cry at this point,
not sobbing, but weeping, though I could tell he was still trying to keep a
stiff upper lip.  I knew this was much too much to expect from someone his
age, especially now, and I didn't want him to keep all that grief pent up
inside him.  I told him to go ahead and let it out now, so he could get it
out of his system before Cody woke up.  That's when he informed me that he
had spent some time alone with Kevin, when he went out with the rest of the
family the other night.  I guess Kevin had felt it was his duty to take
care of his younger brother, and prepare him for what was to come, even
though he had been forced to deal with his loss without any preparation.
Graham told me Kevin had explained what he went through and what he felt,
after he lost Brent, but no matter how much Kevin had told him, Graham
admitted that he still didn't know it was going to hurt this much.

I was pleased to know that Kevin had been so farsighted as to tackle this
issue on his own, and I would have to thank him for doing so, but I wanted
to do that in person, the first chance I got.  I think that little talk did
Graham some good too, as I believe that having talked to someone else who
had lost a lover in his teens, would help to ease this journey for him.
Though there was nothing anyone could do that could ever take away all the
pain he would eventually feel, I'm sure that little talk did make it
better.  Now we continued talking about Cody's condition, and I told him
what to expect next, just as the doctor informed me.  When he asked how
long Cody had, I told him no one was sure, but probably only a week or so.
He was getting weaker, because less oxygen was able to get into his
bloodstream, as the tumors were still continuing to grow.  As this
continued to happen, it would eventually cut off his oxygen supply and it
would be over.

After we finished talking, I sat and hugged Graham for a while, until he
calmed down, and then I sent him off to wash his face and regain his
composure, while I went back in to sit with Cody.  He was still sleeping
when I entered, but he did wake up before Graham got back, and he asked me
where Graham was.  I told him Graham just went for a walk, to stretch his
legs a bit, and he seemed to accept that without any difficulty.  When
Graham came back, Cody never asked him about where he'd been, and Graham
sat down beside him, giving Cody a quick kiss as he did so.  After that, he
just sat beside Cody, on the bed, and held his hand.

I left to call Jake after that, telling him how Cody's condition was
worsening, and we talked about bringing the boys back.  He would make sure
they all came back this weekend, but this time they would stay until the
end came.  I wanted Cody to be surrounded by his loved ones, when he took
his final breath.

That night none of us slept very well.  Cody had trouble because of the
heaviness in his chest, which made it difficult for him to breathe.  Graham
and I lost sleep due to the fact that we were so concerned and upset about
Cody's problem, and we kept waking up to check on him every half hour to
hour or so.  At one point, I actually sat up for over an hour, watching
Cody struggle for each precious breath, and I wondered how much more
labored his breathing would become, before his body just couldn't stand the
struggle any more and he gave up the fight.  I'm glad the doctor was giving
him something for the discomfort, because it looked as though the pain
would have been excruciating by this point.  I know this may sound cruel
and heartless to say, but seeing it didn't appear as though there was any
chance of his recovering, it would almost be a blessing if he went now, so
he didn't have to suffer any longer.

Cody's difficulty continued on through the rest of that day, and through
that evening as well, but Cody was not awake for much of that time.  I
wasn't sure if this was due to his condition or because the medication he
was being given was knocking him out.  Whatever the reason, it was probably
best for him that he was out of it at this point, and I think it was better
for us too.  I almost wished that Graham could be given something too, to
not only make him sleep, but also to ease the pain he was going through, as
he watched Cody wither away.  I could read the love in his eyes as he
looked at Cody and pampered him, even though he knew Cody probably wasn't
even aware he was there or that he was doing those things for him. I could
also see the pain on his face, as he wondered how much longer this would go
on, but I knew his love was strong enough to overcome his discomfort.

That night Graham slipped back into bed with Cody, once our guardian angel
nurse came on duty, but I realized he never let himself fall into a deep
sleep.  I wasn't doing any better, and I only dozed off from time to time,
accepting the fact that the end was probably near.  I had just dozed off
once more, when I heard Graham call for me.

"Dad, Dad, wake up.  I think something is wrong," I heard him say, as he
got out of bed to shake me.

I jumped up and turned on a light.  "What is it?" I asked him, before I
looked at Cody and knew the answer to my own question.

"Cody's body is jerking and he isn't breathing normal.  He's gasping for
air now.  What's wrong?"  Before I had a chance to answer him, three nurses
flew into the room, and began to check the monitors.  However, during that
time, Cody's body, which had been jerking from the seizures, relaxed, and
he gasped one final time for air, and then his body stopped moving
completely.  We now realized that it was finally over for him.  The nurses
knew that any heroic efforts to revive him would only delay the inevitable,
so they merely began to turn off the machines and disconnect the wires from
his body, and then they asked Graham and me to leave the room for a few
minutes, while they cleaned him up.  They explained they would allow us
back in, to say or final good-bye, once they had done this, so Graham and I
walked out of the room.

As we went through the doorway, Graham started to cry audibly, so I led him
over to a chair, sat down, pulled him onto my lap, and then I let him bawl
his eyes out, as I held him.  We sat there like that for about ten minutes,
before the nurses came out and told us we could go back in to see Cody, but
we didn't rush, as I wanted to give Graham time to cope with his grief.
When he let me know he was ready to go back into Cody's room, we got up,
walked in together, went over to the bed, and stared at that fragile blond
haired boy, whom we both loved so much.

We stood there just looking at him for a couple of minutes, and then Graham
reached out to stroke Cody's face.  As his hand passed over Cody's skin, he
paused after just a second, but then he resumed what he was doing.  He
continued this for a few more seconds, and then he bent over the bed and
kissed Cody once more on the nose, and then on the lips.  When he turned
back to me, his eyes were filled with tears, but his body had seemed to
relax a bit.  I think he was beginning to accept the fact it was over.  He
had now turned back toward Cody, just looking at him lying there, and I
decided that I needed to see if Graham was okay.

"Are you all right?" I asked him, putting my hands on his shoulders, from
behind.  He slumped back into my body, and then he turned his head
slightly, so he could see me.

"Yeah, I was just a little shocked at first."

"Shocked?  About what?"

"I didn't expect him to feel so cold already.  And his skin wasn't really
soft either, it felt kind of tight, like it had been stretched across
something."

"Yes, I know how that is.  I've experienced that before too, with others
who had passed away."

"Dad, do you think he's in heaven now?"  I know this was an innocent
question, and he didn't mean it to affect me as it did, but I had a very
difficult time trying to control my emotions at this point.  I took a
second to regain my composure, so I could answer him, and then I searched
for the right words to say.

"Yes, I think he's in heaven, Graham.  He's now with Brent and all of our
other loved ones who have gone before, and he'll be there to greet us, when
it is our turn to join them."  At this point Graham turned around, threw
his arms around my body, and he began to squeeze me as hard as he could.  I
know it was just to release some of that pent up tension, and served as an
emotional release, but inadvertently, he also helped me in the process.  I
too needed to open the floodgates to my emotional dam, and he gave me this
opportunity, so we both sat there, hugging each other and crying over the
loss we both felt.  I don't know how long we stayed like that, all alone
with Cody's body, but when we felt that we were ready to move on, I walked
over to the phone, dialed home, and waited for an answer.  Fortunately, it
was Jake who picked up the call.

"He's gone," I said simply, knowing I didn't need to identify myself, or
explain what I said in any more detail.

I could tell Jake was choked up, as I could hear it in his voice as he
responded.  "Is there anything I can do at this point?" he asked me.

"Yes, will you call everyone and let them know, so I can just move on and
make the arrangements for Cody's funeral.  I'll make sure his body is
transported back home, and then I'll contact the funeral home, before I get
in touch with the church, to arrange for his final service."

"Are you going to be all right to drive back?  I can come there with one of
the boys, so I can drive you back."

"No, that won't be necessary.  We won't be leaving for a few more hours,
and by then I'll be fine.  I'll see you later tonight.  Tell the boys I
love them, and we'll be home soon."

"I will."  There was a slight pause, and then Jake spoke again, before we
hung up.  "Josh, and I love you too, and please be careful."

                  *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Editor's note: Some of you may already be aware of this, but the character
of Cody was based loosely on a real life Cody.  He too had a very rough
life, never knew who his father was, and he too was eventually adopted into
a very loving home.  His new father is a friend of mine, and they were both
so excited and happy when the adoption was finalized.  Unfortunately, that
Cody was also diagnosed with A.L.L., and even though he also put up a very
brave fight, he too could not beat that disease.  When Cody's father told
me that Castaway was Cody's favorite story, I couldn't think of any better
way to honor him, than to include him in it.  Therefore, this book has been
dedicated to that little blond angel, who graced our lives for such a short
time, but taught us the meaning of life, better than any other teacher
could.  Cody, I hope somehow you realized how much you meant to all of us,
especially your father, and that you can somehow appreciate being a part of
this particular story.

Cody, our little angel, we shall never forget you.  Love, Bill

                 *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

If you have enjoyed reading this story, you will find other stories by me
by clicking on the Nifty author link and scrolling down to "BW".  This will
give you the links for everything I have posted there.

E-mails may be sent to: bwstories8@aol.com.