This is a fictional account of my life. totally fiction, bearing no
actual resemblence to any experiences I've had. this is for ages 18 and
over. why? don't ask why. dumb society. j/k, it's full of sex and gay
male sex by minors at that. please don't sue me, this is only for
entertainment.

Changes
written by "Clark"

I had never really had a big crush on Jay, but I always thought he was
cute. Jay is a buff guy, slim and sexy physically. His face is cute, not
terribly handsome. But he is usually kind and funny, which is no wonder
girls like him so. 

Jay and I were in the bathroom changing for P.E. Being in a private
school we had no locker rooms or anything so we changed in the bathroom.
I don't know how we managed to be alone there that day, but for some
reason I looked up and saw us by ourselves. One thing first, I had come
out the year before, so everyone knew about my sexuality, and, as far as
I know was either okay with it or never bugged me. Jay knew, and he was
about the only one who supported me in some small way. But things had
changed since last year. He had moved away, and I never called nor he
and we just weren't that closed. The boys in my class tended to make
guys paranoid of me liking them. They were not nervous, and whenever we
changed clothes or something they didn't get worried, they treated me
like a normal guy. But once in awhile in certain situations guys felt
uncomfortable and awkwardly became silent or left the area. Anyways, I
had to tell you that much so you would understand what happened next.

He peeled off his shirt and pants and picked up his warmups. He seemed
to be having some trouble and fumbled around for awhile. I looked over,
not meaning to check him out, having absolutely no interest at the time.
I noticed his build, strong chest, nice abs. No lust, just admiration.
He was only 13, but he had such a great body it made him older in a way.
I looked down to the bulge in his boxers, which was a mistake since I
began to feel a tingle in my loins. I was finished changing so I had
absolutely no reason to still be there.

At last he caught me looking and before I could turn away he said,
"What?! What is it?"

I giggled nervously. Usually when it happened outside or in the class I
would just laugh as if I was joking, knowing guys in my class, even
though presumed straight, got a kick out of my flirtatious ways. But now
alone with him half naked I realized I was in a dangerous position. it
didn't help that I was growing hard and it was partly obvious in my
sweats.

"What are you looking at?" he asked and he glanced down at his boxers.
Of course he knew what was going on but I think he wanted to "catch" me
at something. Like we were playing a game. I decided to risk it and try
to make it all a big joke, so I stepped forward.

I made my voice as feminine as possible and hobbled over to him slowly,
and I said jokingly, "Well, couldn't help notice how much you've
grown... You're so fine, it's no wonder you're a hot topic... I see you
have a lump there for me and I think maybe you want me to grab it... To
maybe bend over and take it into my mouth... suck on it, play with the
head..."

I was saying this to make him laugh, so I was even more uncomfortable
when he looked serious. I glanced at his boxers and saw a tent. He was
getting hard at my sex-talk!

He looked down as if realizing what was going on and backed away
awkwardly. I had dreamed and fantasized for the day to come when I could
see some dick. My horoscope said it would be a day of opprtunities and I
wouldn't miss this a chance of play with this cute young hottie with a
hardon from me. I stepped forward, now using my normal voice and
continued, "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Shut the fuck up," he said, backing more. But I could see fear and
desire in his eyes. The way he looked at me... so naive and unsure. I
laughed a bit at my own private joke of corrupting this youth, though we
are the same age. That's what accessing gay porn on the Internet does to
you, I guess. Not that I cared, figuring if I would be damned for doing
what I thought I would (and did) then I must have been damned from the
moment I was born. I was gay put into a world of straight handsome men.
Isn't that punishment enough?

"Yes, you would like me to, bitch. I can seeeee it..." I said, and my
hand darted forward as he backed into a wall. I began to rub the tent in
his boxers and saw him drop his warmups and put his hands at his side. I
came close and began to kiss him, first all over his face, then on his
throat. I licked his adam's apple and watched him squirm at my rubbing.
To this day I still see how completely unrealistic the situation was,
still dumfounded at how he never tried to stop me.

I stuck my hand into his boxers and jacked him off slowly. I began to
kiss and lick his nipples, and with my left hand I rubbed his right tit
while I tongued his left. They grew hard on impact. I pinched his right
nipple lightly and he gasped. Then I pinched it again, harder and heard
him cry. He continued to moan as I masturbated him.

I pinched harder and harder and he began to whimper and finally cry. It
was so exciting see this young stud cry right before me, and I took his
poor abused nipple into my mouth and suckled him slowly. He was growing
harder and harder and I felt like I was tugging a steel pole. I was
deathly silent.

Finally he bagan to moan louder. I looked at his sweet face, seeing it
twisted in ecstacy. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted up. He
moaned more and more. I was surprised not one person walked into the
bathroom. He moaned more and more, his mouth open breathing hot air onto
my face. That was too much for me. I kissed him long and deep, the way
lovers do. I shoved my tongue into his about and felt him bite it, even
chew on it as a moan escaped his throat. Eyes still closed, he shot his
load right into my hand. He opened his eyes and grinned in a state of
euphoria. He let me kiss him all over his face.

The moment passed. He silently walked to a sink and washed himself while
stayed there and sniffed my own had, getting hot (and still hard from
the previous play) from it's manly, musky odor. He looked at me, his
eyebrow cocked and I was unsure of what he would do. but he just smiled,
pushed me against the wall, rubbed my dick and shoved his tongue down my
mouth in a sensual kiss. He backed off, not finishing me off as I had
done him, but it didn't matter to me. He walked out the bathroom.

For P.E. that day we played basketball. Jay was so pumped (hopefully
from our fondling) that he scored eleven times in a row, the most
anybody had scored consecutively. he could have scored more had not the
teacher blown the whistle and it was time to go. Both Jay and I were
giddy. We didn't talk to each other for the rest of that day, but
flirtatious glances were exchanged. Jay was exceptionally frisky,
laughing his head off at every sexual pun our adolescant peers made. I
don't think Jay was ever so happy before. As for me I was content to
stay silent, content in the fact that maybe I was wanted.

Later that day I tore a page out of the journal I hide in my backpack.
In it was perhaps the hottest entry I had written. I handed it to him and
he took it, cocking his eyebrow in question. I wanted to share something
with him, to let him know I wanted him to know what I felt. Don't ask
why. Sometimes you just get impulsive, you know? I watched from across
the room as he read it:

*****

dear journal,

well i'm feeling kinda excited today because later on (after i sleep and
wake up) i will have a sleepover. how fortunate. and my timing couldn't
be better, because my horoscopes said today would be fun, laid-back and
that i would be flirty. it also said there is a strong romantic
influence, expecially. tonight. wonder why?... ::sarcasm:: i cannot
believe stanley is coming over. i mean, i didn't expect it, because he
knows about my sexuality, but he's being totally cool with it. that just
astounds me. whenever i do something stupid or wrong at school he's
doggin my back about it but he hasn't bitched about my sexuality at all.
::well not anymore:: it could be a plus... i really like him. i don't
know if i've developed a crush, but he's just cool. and he isn't ugly
::if you know what i mean:: (cough, cough) hehehe. well, i don't wanna
come on too strong or he'll suspect i like him. or maybe not. he IS
kinda oblivious to it when people make passes. that also could be a
plus. (UUUGHHHH, THE DREADED CONSCIENCE) okay okay, time for truth. i
can't lie to you or myself. i do like stanley alot more than i'd like to
admit... ::because he is such a jerk sometimes, i feel like a ho:: i
also like him more than i SHOULD. okay, i'll just let it out right now
before it gets caught in my brain ::leading to obsession:: stanley is so
cute. he has such nice eyes and his voice when he wakes up in the
morning is adorable. he's just that... adorable. not fine, although he
could be when he grows up. just now he is so cute. he has the face you
just wanna kiss caringly. like a little boy. a little angel. but he's
not, of course. i like to fantasize about him, but unlike my more
::cough:: daring (XXX) fantasies my ones with him involve no
::procreation::, they are just really romantic, a lil' sensual but just
fetish. i feel like going further would violate him, which is dumb
because they are just thoughts in my head. ::although my thoughts are
highly... imaginative... and i think after the shock was over he'd
really enjoy my... service (giggles) hehehe. but then, knowing him, he'd
probably regret it in the morning!:: despite his many faults (and that
bj with kathleen) he's so naive it's endearing. people get annoyed with
that, but i think it's sweet. did i mention justin's coming over too?
well justin is definately undeniably cool. he is the same as stan, but
he's more conscientious. i might as well confess my thoughts on chess
too. it's cool he's cool with my sexuality. he's a bit chizmosso
(hehehe, i just misspelled a word on purpose!) but he's very nice. i
have ::procreation:: thoughts on him. very, very sensual. i think he
makes me hornier than most boys our age (except of couse RAOUL! YUM!!
raoul, to this day, still makes me wanna just... jack off and go away to
lust-land) and he is so hot. he' short it's true but just the way he is
and acts, makes me get high. i just wanna ::wish i could censor this but
oh well:: jack off while sucking his delicious fish-smelly tasty prick,
and also have him shove it up my backside. oooh. i get kinda hard
thinking about it right now. okay very hard. maybe later i'll take care
of my business. hehehe i'm too naughty to be a catholic! alrighty, i
guess it's revelation time: i know the difference between love and lust.
love is stan, lust is justin. i can like stan without him screwing me.
but i only want justin to screw him ::ahem, i should say screwed BY::
(and of course to be my buddy, he's so cool) anyways, to get softened,
literally, a bit, i guess time to move off the subject of these hot
young studs with whom i could be sharing a room with... i'm worried. i'm
worried that stan will not come ::i had this fantasy that i could "do"
him somehow tonight, or maybe justin, or both (?). gosh i'm sick!:: i'm
worried leah called him and told him not to or hinted at it eing an
unwise decision ::licking my lips:: (it would not be an unwise decision!
it would be a BEEFY one! darnit getting hard again.) i'm worried tanzia
is thinking of me cruelly. i told her to be happy after she sed she
wouldn't be my friend anymore (messed up!), which was basically saying i
CAN live without her ::contrary to what she thinks, the SCORPIO! hehehe
i have nothing against scorpios. seriously. i jsut know what they're
like, and it's nuthin "nice":: so yah as far as i kno leah is angry at
me. alright i'll let it go now. I HATE HER FOR BEING LIKE THAT! gosh how
mean! how immature. or maybe it IS MATURE. she is, after all, making a
decision for herself as an adult. i mean as adults we have to try to let
go. that is the first sign of maturity. and our relationship was dying
anyway. good it ended now instead of with much more anger. i hope we can
still be on the courtest terms. i'm rapidly picking up my relationship
with jen. i don't let my parents know we're friends, dad'll lose respect
for me (i seriously badmouthed jen to mommy and daddy before she called
one day and the sky began to shine again). jen and i are playin a tick
on this guy jim. we're pretending that i'm a girl named sarah. we are
slowly seducing jim into cybersex, so i'm being so flirty it's
suffocating. it's a real elaborate plan too. afterwards i will e-mail
him pretending to be sarah's father and ask for him to "lose contact
with my daughter". how mean! the sad thing is that i'm starting to like
jim. i don't wanna hurt him. he's so sweet. maybe he's ugly, but he's
very nice. claims to be 18, from west palm florida. this is by far the
biggest lie i got stuck in. i should know, being a ::compulsive:: liar
and all. hehehe (CONSCIENCE TIME) i feel guilty. i want it to end. i
LOVE jim. he is the most perfect guy i have met since m-falk (the last
guy i cyberdid) on the net. he is too sweet to destroy. i just don't
wanna crush him! maybe i can start a cyberplationic relationship with
him as Clark. the real me. maybe, if he's openminded (which i doubt) i
can tell him about my sexuality. it would be so great, in a perfect
world. but this world isn't perfect. far from it, at least for me. ::i
really am sick and selfish to even want to do this, because a small part
of me does knowing this is the only real contact i'll have with him. no
matter what we do... it won't be the same:: oh well. that's all that's
plaguing me. oh yah, i thought at first love told larry what i've been
telling her ::yes, it includes litle white lies:: and i'm afraid levin
is mad. i think larry will go with me to jennifer's party. kinda worries
me but i think it'll be cool. at least i'll have some support. what if
something goes wrong, tho?! oh NO! oh well. que sera sera, as they say.
whatever will be will be. the future's not ours to see. que sera SERA.
what will be will be. oh durn. went into song mode. time to leave this
part of the diary. if i left antyhing out it will plague me tonite, and
tomorrow. au revoir.

well done now. gotta go it's late (1:00). thanx for listening. i know
it's dumb writing that but oh well. i'll have several thoughts to jack
off on tonite! can't wait. oh god justin is so fine! FOINE! he is just
all that i kno he be a playa and all but.... UH! just wanna let him bump
me, wanna suck him off... wanna... OH shit. save it for later, hehehe.
just wanted to get it down here.

please let this worried feeling of someone reading this go away.
::yawn::

*****

After he had finsihed reading it he looked up at me. I grinned and so
did he. Except in his eyes was a look so tender I thought I would melt.
He now knew everything, and he was honored. He wrote on the entry and
gave it to me, saying that I should call him, and that he had stuff to
tell me too. 

I wrote back saying I misplaced his new number and after school we went
back into the bathroom where he wrote his new number with a washable
marker on my chest, kissed my nipples and we had some more lip-locking.

I didn't know what life would be like now that all of this occurred. I
was apprehensive of the future. But then there was a new sense of
security knowing another person wanted to share it. My future, I mean.

Since then he gave me a lot of dick and some amazing action. I have
another hot story to tell. But that is for later. Until then,
remember... so much can happen in a day and to always read your
horoscope!