Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:50:46 -0700 (PDT)
From: Blake sanders <blake_sanders_1999@yahoo.com>
Subject: "Coming Out Within The Hurt" Chapter 3 BB

AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS IS A 100% FAKE, MADE UP, AND COMPLETELY UNTURE STORY.
THERE IS NO SEX IN THIS STORY IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, FIND
SOMETHING ELSE TO READ.  IT DOSE HAVE GAY CONTENT WITH YOUNG BOYS.  IF THIS
IS SOMETHING THAT IS ILLEIGEL FOR YOU TO READ STOP NOW.  THE NAME OF A WEB
SITE MALESUVIVOR.ORG IS A REAL SITE THAT HELPS WITH HEALLING OF ABUSE FOR
MEN, BOYS, FRIENDS AND FAMILIES OF SURVIVORS, HOWEVER THE EVENTS THAT
HAPPEN ON THE SITE IN THIS STORY ARE FAKE.  THE SITE IS LISTED HERE FOR
THOSE OF YOU THAT NEED HELP DEALING WITH CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.




Sorry this one is so short, but things are really rolling. I thought this
needed a chapter all to itself.  It closes a chapter in Justin's
life.....or is does it? You may want to put on a seat belt at this
time. The roller coaster of life is starting to fly!





"Coming Out Within The Hurt" By: Kirk Gilbert © 2007

Chapter 3 "Caught"


"Ready?"  I said to Cody as I came down from my room.

"yep."

It was not really that hot out, but still warm at the same time.  You could
hear bird sing as they perched on the power lines above.  Some kids were
playing games in their front yards, and some parents watered their lawns.

 We headed to Cody's house that was across the street and around the block.
We had not said much from the time we had left our after school get
together, but that was normal for us.  He kept looking at me, and it was
making me nervous.

"Hey want to watch Cop & A Half or Titanic?"  Cody was first to speak.

"Titanic" I replied still deep in thought about the conversation with
shiver_boy.

"You like Leo, huh?"  He said while he was starting to laugh.

"Fuck you!"  He had my attention now.

"I'll think about it."

I stopped dead in my tracks.  Cody turned and stopped.  We just looked into
each others eyes.  Without another word he smiled, turned around, and
continued on to his house.  I knew Cody was just joking around just by the
look on his face.  You know the look that you get right before someone dose
something to you.  Well he had that look, and he thought my reaction was
hysterically funny.  Cody is always one to crack a good joke when you
didn't think one could be made.  I just was not used to this new type of
joking around, but I must say, I did find it funny.  Soon after I just
shook my head and ran to get caught up with Cody.

We arrived at his house that we soon found to be empty.  It was not all
that different from my house.  Unlike my house you had to walk through the
kitchen to the dinning room and then you could walk into the living room,
or you could walk straight from the front door into the living room.  We
headed straight for the kitchen.  Yeah, I know that's the last place you
should find a boy, but we know just where to find one of our favorite
things. That's right, food and drinks!  I grabbed up a root beer and Cody
got a Sunny Delight from the fridge.  We sat down at the dinning room table
where we found a note with twenty dollars.

Cody, Your ant Jane died and we had to leave for the weekend.  Here is
twenty dollars for you and Justin to get a Pizza or something with.  There
is also a ton of food in the fridge.  You know where the emergency phone
numbers are and if you need anything you can call my cell or go next door.
Above everything, STAY OUT OF TROUBLE!  Love mom

"Sorry Cody."  I said trying to ease the pain.

"Sorry for what?  Ant Jane was a real bitch.  My whole family hated her."

"Oh."  I said thinking I was looking real stupid.

"Oh it's no big deal.  The only reason my folks went was coz of the fam
would be there, and to look like they really cared about my ant.  My family
has always been weird about looking good for each other."

"We must be related coz my fam dose the same thing."  I said laughing

"Like I said today, we're brothers!"  He said laughing, and trying not to
fall out of his chair.

We finished our sodas and headed for the living room to watch the movie.
It was long, and we were beat from a long day at school.  I took the floor
as I almost always did, and Cody took the sofa that he was only half way
on.  The phone rang and Cody said he would be right back.  I thought it
would be a good time to step out side.  I grabbed up some stuff from my
back pack and headed for the side of the house.

When I got back in Cody was just standing there with this mixed emotion on
his face.

"What?"  I said.  He came over to me and started moving around me in a
close circle.

"What in the hell are you doing, Cody?"

"Why didn't you tell me you're in to drugs?"  He stated almost yelling in a
worried, but angered tone.

"I'm not I..."

"Bullshit Justin!  Did you drop something?"  He handed me a broken joint
that must have fell from my back pack.  "I also found three more along with
this white powdered dope in your bag."

"What, now you're going threw my shit too?"  I was getting pissed

"I will if I think you could die from that shit.  Yes!"

"Well I'm not going to die from it, asshole.  I don't do that much
anyways."

"Even a little is too much, dope head.  How long have you been on that shit
anyways?"

"A little over a year or so...I think...I don't know.  What's it fucking
matter?"

"It matters coz it's killing you, shit head.  That's what it matters.  I
don't want too loose you like I lost Brian."

"Brian?  Who's that?"  I said softly, but surprised.

"He died before we moved here five years ago.  I loved him with all my
heart.  He was my hero.  He was my world. He meant everything to me."  Cody
was now sobbing.  I could tell he was trying not to cry, but he just
could't hold out any longer.

After he cried for a while he continued.  "Justin, Brian was my real
brother he was three years older than me.  He said he never did enough to
do any harm, but it killed him, and his friend.  They took too much at a
party one night.  I'll never forget that, and I'll never forgive him for
that either.  It was drugs that took my brother away from me, and now it's
going to take my best friend away from me too.  I don't want to loose you
to drugs as well.  Yes I blame my brother for what happened, coz it was his
choice to take that shit.  It's your choice too, but it would kill me if I
have to go through that again.  I don't want to loose you too."  Cody
buried his face in my chest and cried for a long time.

"I'm so sorry dude.  I didn't know about Brian or even that you ever had a
brother.  I didn't know."

"Yeah well I don't talk about that much, but that's why this shit scares me
so bad.  Will you please stop taking that stuff? Please?"  He said still
crying.

"I'll try."

"Why can't you just promise you won't take it anymore?"

"I don't think I can go without it."  I said at a near whisper.

"You need help Justin, if not before, you need it now."

"But who can I get help from that I won't get in trouble from?"

"How about that shrink lady at school, talk to her, she might be able to
help.  If not her, she might know someone who can help."

"I'll talk to her Monday, deal?"

"Deal, if you need someone to go with you I'll go, I promise."  Cody said
more dead serious than I have ever seen him be in the years I have known
him.

"Deal and I can go alone, but be ready if I change my mind."

"Ho, I will be"

Even though we didn't say everything we were thinking, we really didn't
need to. We have known each other for a very long time, well for kids
anyways. I know that if I don't tell anyone, then Cody will. I really had
no clue about his real brother, or anything with drugs ever happened to
Cody. He simply never talked about it, but again, the subject never came up
before.

That weekend came and went quicker than I ever thought a weekend could go.
I tried to keep my word about not getting high again, but I slipped up two
or three times.  I had knots in my stomach from the thought of having to go
in and talk to Mrs. Walton in the morning.  So rather than think about it I
found things to do around the house, mostly in my room.  I had to be the
only kid with a super clean room.

By the time I was all done with everything I wanted to do, and everything I
kept finding for myself to do, it was six thirty in the morning so I hopped
in the shower and then got ready for school.  I put on the usual things I
like for school, blue jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers.  My stomach was in
knots, and I felt like puking even if I had nothing to puke.

I got to school a little late.  Yes, I was dragging my feet from the moment
I got out of the shower.  I really didn't want to talk to Mrs. Walton, but
I knew if I didn't then Cody would.  I couldn't get mad at Cody, because he
was just worried about me, and after what he told me I could see why.  I
still want to know why he never told me about Brian.

I walked in to the office where the lady behind the desk asked for my pass.
I told her I didn't have one, and that I was there to see Mrs. Walton, and
that it was important.  The lady told me to wait there while she looked to
see if Mrs. Walton could see me.  Soon after that Mrs. Walton came out, and
asked.  "So are we ready to talk now?"  with an ever so nice smile and soft
voice.

"yeah ...got to or my friend will tell you."

"Friend? Tell me what?"

"Yeah my friend, and about what happen this weekend."  I said sitting down
in font of her desk where I had sat last time.

"Want to tell me about it?"  She said like all shrinks do while getting
comfortable in the big tall back chair behind her desk.

I told here about the drugs, and Cody's story along with the rest of my
stay at Cody's house over the weekend, and she listened inductively.  She
covered her mouth when I told her about the drugs and needing help.  I
could see the tears in her eyes when I told about Cody's brother dieing
from a drug over dose.

"I just can't stop doing it."

"Do you have any with you or here at school?  I have to ask."

"No. I don't take it to school, but I got some at home."  I said softly.

"Well first I need to talk to your mother about this.  You're going to need
some major help with this one.  Also I am going to make the arrangements
for you to start spending your fourth hour class of PE in here for us to
talk about how things are going, and so I can keep a better eye on you as
you heal from the drugs, that has been doing damage to your body.  I can
say this it's not going to be easy.  Is there anything else you want to
tell me?"

"No, not right now, but do you have to tell my mom."

"I'm sorry, but I have to.  You're not eighteen.  Sorry kiddo.  But, I will
do everything in my power to help you."

We talked for a while longer till she said I could go, and gave me a pass
to class.  I left the office and headed to class.  For all I knew my life
was over....



PEACE IS BEAUTIFUL,
BLAKE


Well, have we hit rock bottom yet?  It seems Justin has many skeletons in
his closet.  Who know what will happen next, but he is starting to get the
help he needs.  What will shiver_boy think about this? There are so many
unanswered questions... Thank you for reading Coming Out Within The Hurt.