Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:09:04 -0500
From: J.J. <jjjanicki@gmail.com>
Subject: Constantin-chapter 21

The usual disclaimers apply. But having already disclaimed 20 times in
just this one story, I see little point in doing it again. So again,
if there are any questions, just go back and read one of my earlier
ones. But not the last one. Which is exactly the same as this one
except for the count. And if I might make a suggestion, I am
particularly fond of the disclaimers prior to chapters 3, 4 and 5.

Thank you. (Well, OK, I recycled that part too, but it shouldn't be
taken to mean that I'm not really sincere about it.)

Unless maybe I try to figure out exactly what I'm thanking you FOR.

Well, OK. Thank you for your interest in this story. And in this
chapter. Which you are about to read. If I ever get through
disclaiming.

You know what? Next chapter I'm recycling another disclaimer. A much
shorter one might do very nicely... you think?


                             Constantin
                             chapter 21

In Chapter One I mentioned how, from the second grade on, I always had
a crush on Constantin. Because he seemed to be everything I wished I
was. So OK, I had an inferiority complex and it really shouldn't come
as any great big surprise to to learn that often at night I would make
up elaborate fantasies in which A: Fate had thrown the two of us
together, just me and him; B: We were both in great danger and C: I
took up for him. And risking my very life, I SAVED his butt. YES! "Oh
MAN!" Constantin would exclaim, "You saved my LIFE!" and he'd hug me
and just keep on thanking me...

Oh, and come to think of it, there was usually a D, an E and a F
involved in those fantasies as well. And occasionally even a G and an
H. It could get complicated at times. But I'll just give you D through
F. D: Then he'd have to save MY life because most of the time I was
right at death's door as a result of my heroic actions; F: and we'd be
friends forever, that was always how things ended AND.. (Yeah, right.
I skipped E, didn't I?)

..AND E: Both of us were almost ALWAYS naked. F was really the most
important part to me, but I did like E a lot.

I think we were ten when one day I walked by his house and heard his
aunt yelling at him. Since we weren't running around together back
then, I don't know the details, but I guess she was spending a week or
so with them. But anyway. Apparently he'd done something bad. Or at
least she sure THOUGHT it was and I heard her say, "Boy, when your
daddy hears about this he's gonna skin you alive!" and OK, even at ten
I realized that was almost certainly an exaggeration, but at the same
time there was a part of me that thought it was possible. Maybe
because at times I really DID read things that were a little beyond my
age level, but shit, I almost worried myself sick over that. Next day?
Same old devil-may-care Constantin, like nothing had happened at all.
Boy, was I ever relieved! And was I ever mixed UP.

So, moving back to April 1989, I think that in regard to me,
Constantin was feeling what I had felt. Powerless. He WISHED there was
something he could do, but when you're dealing with somebody's
parents, unless it's a case of full-blown child abuse, there's really
not much you CAN do if you're only fourteen yourself. Had I wanted to
push it, I guess the day after the big to-do over The Chocolate War I
could have gone to the school guidance counselor or something and at
that point Social Services probably would've gotten involved, but what
good would that do? Maybe I'd end up in protective custody for a week
or so while my father went through counseling sessions or some shit,
but then I'd be back home again and things might be better for maybe a
month, but while the State might SUGGEST that he give me some leeway
when it came to attending church and picking my friends out, the
bottom line is that they have no say-so in that whatsoever. There is
NOTHING they can do about it. So there SURE wasn't anything Constantin
could do. I mean, this wasn't a fantasy involving an imaginary escaped
convict, it was reality.

Oh, and if I WAS in protective custody? I'd probably be placed some
place a couple hundred miles away. So no, I didn't think so.

But anyway, I guess the bottom line was, he'd be as good a friend as
he could, and you know what? It was enough. Although as of Tuesday
night, April 4th, I still had no idea what his plan for a summer job
that apparently would involve me was all about.  I asked, but he said
he hadn't gotten a chance to talk to his uncle yet. Although he did
say that it was OK with his parents, so at least he was working at it.
Whatever in the hell it was. He wouldn't say, he just kept acting
mysterious and all.

Well, yeah. He paid me another visit late that night. We both agreed
we probably should cool it some, not that it seemed likely my old man
would be checking to see if I was in my room, but better safe than
sorry, you know? But I did want to tell him about the latest
developments over at the Kelly house, I HAD to tell him about that.
And he agreed that it sure LOOKED like my two clubs might be merging.
Soon. I mean, who said the Kellys had to stay put at their house,
anyway? In FACT, he said, when I was eating lunch with Jacob tomorrow
(Wednesday), him and Isac and probably Jesse would come over and I
could introduce them. Just to get to know each other a little, not
even a hint of anything beyond that. Just in case I was wondering.
Which I sure as hell was. I don't know if you've ever noticed this or
not, but at times I tend to be cautious about things.

Although there was one thing I wasn't cautious about, I really REALLY
wanted to get fucked.

But now HE was being cautious. "You're sure you're over the whipping?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed, "Since probably the weekend, so will you please-"

"Yeah, well -"

So I ended up just sitting on it. And that took care of that. So there.

                      o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Wednesday morning, soon as my folks left, I ran over to Constantin's,
walked in the back door and yelled, "Hey! Anybody ho -"

Then Isac came up from behind and clapped a hand over my mouth.
Brusquely he sneered, "We been waiting for you, LOVER boy. And we got
your BOY friend, too. You wanna see what we're going to DO to him?"

"Umphth!" ("Shit" I thought to myself, "This might be kinda interesting!")

Yeah, well, it was. Isac marched me into the living room where
Constantin was sitting morosely on the couch. He had been stripped
naked. Jesse sat across from him, fully clothed. Although he was
keeping a watchful eye on his prisoner, he was also partly engrossed
in... Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. (!!!!) Oh--my--GOD! This was going to
be HORRIBLE!

Ominously Isac said, "OK, fag, get your clothes off. Everything. Right now."

"But... well, all right, I will, but...like...could you...um, turn it
to the morning news or something?" (I am sorry as I can be about this,
because I KNOW Mr. Rogers was a wonderful person, but I didn't like
watching him on TV when I was FIVE! Because I didn't like perpetually
cheerful nicey nicey "I'm so glad you can be with us today because
you're special and everybody ELSE is very special too and... I mean
honestly now," BLEUGH!) (So is that OK?)

He really was a very nice person, though.

Jesse snickered. "We thought this would about be your speed. Your
boyfriend sure likes it... don't you, Constantin?"

Constantin looked down at the floor. I finished undressing and
reluctantly sat down across from him as directed.

Isac walked slowly and self-importantly to the middle of the floor,
cleared his throat and said, "Now then, here's -"

"If I had to watch THAT all the time, I woulda shot the damn fucking
TV myself!" I grumbled.

"Your friend was going to get twenty. But now it's twenty-five. So do
you want to try for THIRTY? If you do, interrupt me again." Isac
stared at me. And Constantin stole a glance my way and silently shook
his head no. So I was going to ask twenty-five WHAT, but I bit my
tongue and silently shook my head no, too. But I could feel my stupid
dick starting to rise up. Jesse snickered. I blushed. But IT kept
rising.

Isac sat down beside Constantin. "OK, you know what to do. Now get
over my lap." And would you believe it? Constantin's dick was going up
TOO! We were DEPRAVED!

WHAP! Constantin remained stoic. (But boy, that was almost a karate
chop! With the palm of his hand, sure, but really, that was a HARD
one!) WHAP WHAP!

Fourth got a loud "OUCH!" Fifth, "OH!" Sixth, he was hissing through
clenched teeth. TENTH,"JESUS! OW -" - interrupted by number eleven
-"UCH! OH -"

"Better turn up the volume, Jesse," and with THAT it was -"It's such a
good feeling"- WHAP!-"oh FUCK!"- "To know you're alive"- WHAP!#*!!
"Damn IT, that HUR -" WHAP!! -"It's such a happy feeling"- WHAP!!!! -
"OHH SHIT!!"-

And so on. I mean it was just getting downright Dali-esque, ESPECIALLY
when after nineteen Isac stopped and asked, "So, you had enough?" and
then Jesse went, "But that was only nineteen," and then Constantin
hissed through clinched teeth, "So FINISH it, then!" and Isac said,
"But my goddamn arm is getting tired!"

But even so, he went ahead and finished. Smack smack smack? smack?
smack WHAP!#!@^!!

And then they made ME lick and kiss Constantin's poor rosy red butt
all over. Cool! It might not be BETTER to give than to receive, but I
did enjoy it. And of course I licked one place extra while I was at
it. Made him coo like a baby. Even if he had some doubts as to whether
he wanted anything else poked in right then. So no problem, Isac
fucked me instead while I was still taking care of Constantin. Who by
then had Jesse's dick shoved in his mouth.

And MEANWHILE, "There's only one person in the whole world like you,
and I like you so much. Meow meow meow so much. Bye bye."

Yeah, it was pret-ty damn in-te-rest-ing. And guess what? We found out
you COULD get four people in the shower at one time. And his was
slightly smaller than the Kellys', so maybe... or maybe not, because
we didn't have much room to move around or anything and I needed to
wash my butt. So finally Isac and Jesse got out.

We had to run all the way to school. We were still tardy, but not bad
enough to get written up. But while we were running Constantin was
going, "Ow! OW!" and Isac was going, "Oh, shut up! I didn't hit you
THAT hard," and Constantin went back, "The HELL you didn't!"

                      o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

I'd started sitting at Jacob's table a few days before because up till
then he was still eating by himself. (Noah's lunch period was earlier,
so there wasn't anything I could do about that.)

But when Constantin, Isac, Jesse and the twins sat down at our table
and I introduced everybody, well, that was cool. Jacob even said later
after school that he thought they were. I shrugged and said, "Yeah,
they're OK."

                      o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Thursday afternoon we didn't have to worry about getting five into the
shower because Tommy was over at Jimmy's again.

"Wonder what he's teaching him THIS time?" mused Noah.

"Ain't no telling," I replied. I had my suspicions, though. And if I
was right, well, actually I had no idea how they might introduce THAT
one. "Shit," I thought, "they might just decide to keep it to
themselves. ... Except I don't think Tommy can keep anything to
himself for very long, so... who knows?"

Noah giggled. Sounded a little self-conscious to me. "Man! Could you
BELIEVE it when they started licking our HOLES? Man, I couldn't...
Felt good though. I couldn't believe it. ... But I don't know, it's
just... well, I don't know, it's just-"

"Nasty!" finished Jacob. "But to tell you the truth... Well, I would
have thought having somebody's DICK in your mouth would've been bad,
too... but it wasn't like that. ...What do you think? Did you think it
was bad, Todd?"

"Huh? ... Oh. Well... no. I don't guess so. About the same as kissing
your butt, I guess. ... Nah, it wasn't so bad, not really."

"So, um-" (Jacob cleared his throat) -"So our HOLES are erogenous zones, TOO?"

"Well, did it FEEL that way?"

"`Fraid so, but -"

"Oh, I KNOW so," interrupted Noah, "and when Tommy stuck his FINGER
in, it felt even BETTER! He was wiggling it AROUND! ... You know
anything more about... well, you know, like last night? I tried
pushing my finger in ... `cause you can always WASH it, right? But it
felt KINDA good... you ever do that, Todd?"

"Yeah, because it feels good. Like you said. It does. Because, see,
you got all kinds of nerve endings inside. And it's almost like the
further you push in, the better it feels. Right? That's what it was
like when Tommy pushed his finger in, right? So inside you got what
they call your prostate and that's where your sperm is produced.
Mostly. I mean, your BALLS have a lot to do with it, obviously, but.."

And I thought about it. Not for a really long time, but I did (and I
also thought the preceding paragraph was well on its way to getting
lost) (which is why I decided to start another), but finally, with all
the calmness I could muster, I said, "Well, if your brother and Jimmy
can do what THEY did, I could at least stick my FINGER in..I mean,
it'll wash off, like you said... so, do you want me to? Show you where
it is and what it feels like?"

Noah promptly pulled his feet up on the edge of the couch, spread his
legs and said, "Yeah. If you want to, that is. ... Cause we're all in
this together, right?" He looked over at Jacob real quick and asked,
"I mean, that all right with you?"

"Sure" said Jacob somewhat breathlessly. And it looked like he was
leaking some, too.

"Well..." and I looked doubtful. Like I hadn't quite made my mind up.
Which, considering what I'd just said to Noah, might not have rung
true...if either of them thought about it...but I wanted to know what
they meant by us being in it together.

"I mean we'll do anything you do, OK?" Noah was REAL anxious.

So. O-kay, then. I went to my coat, pulled out my trusty tube of K-Y,
more or less explained what it was for ("It makes it feel better")
lubed his opening a little, my finger (breaths were quickening) (a
lot) and after telling him to push against my finger a little, because
it would slip in easier... I was in. My finger was.

GASP! (That was Noah.)

"So, OK," I said, in a professional tone of voice, "we're gonna push
it in deeper.. (he was hyperventilating).. "and WIGGLE it around"..
(and he was wiggling a bit himself)... "and deeper and...damn! Where
IS that thing?"

"I thought you knew," sniggered Jacob.

Noah? He looked concerned. Maybe he didn't have one after all.

"Well, I know where MINE is... usually... so-"

GASP!! (Yeah, that was Noah again. Sounds promising, right?)

Yeah, right. I found it all right.

"Holy SHIT! GASP!!!"

"So, you want me to get you off?"

Which at THAT point was actually sort of a dumb question. Noah rapidly
shook his head yes.

I really like him a lot. "Well, I guess I might as well try this while
I'm at it," and I took a deep breath and I did the you-know-what.

Well, I just wanted to put it that way once. Just because, OK?

But I'll probably never do it again.

But, unfortunately, with his dick in my mouth and my finger stroking
his newly discovered button, he only lasted about ten seconds.

"WOW!" he exclaimed. "Oh--- WOW!! Oh my GOD! Jacob? Can I try it on
you? Man, you oughta -"

"But I thought I was going to show him first!" (That was me.)

"Well, umm... well, I DO want you do", stammered Jacob, "but umm...
could I try.. well, tell me what I'm supposed to do... if I want to
try... (Honest. He was stammering REALLY bad), "Oh shit!" And with
that - (thankfully) - he took a deep breath and... his mouth closed
around my straining penis. Just like THAT! (So right. My penis thought
it was a pretty good idea for him to quit talking about it as well.)

Although I did think about telling him he didn't HAVE to if he didn't
WANT to. Except that really would have been dumb as shit. So I just
gave him some pointers on trying to breathe through his nose. He
already knew about not scraping with his teeth. He did pretty good,
actually.

I could at LEAST tell him when I was about to lose it, though. I still
had a few scruples left. Not a whole bunch, but I did have a few, so I
warned him about it.

Only he pulled off real quick, looked up at me and said (stubbornly),
"I don't care," and BACK down he went again.

"You're...SURE...about -" Well, shit. That didn't take very long at all.

But since I don't want to be repetitive about all this, I'll just say
that when I was returning the favor to Jacob, and he was almost as
demonstrative as Noah was. And he didn't last much longer, either. My
finger hit the button and we had ignition, just like that.

                      o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

But anyway. Several minutes later after exchanging comments on just
how WILD everything was, Jacob went (speculatively), "So. Does that
mean we're all gay now?"

I shrugged. Even if I was still a little nervous. Circumstances being
what they were, that probably seems a bit strange, but I was. Because
I was still wondering if they were going to be having second thoughts
about it after the enormity of it all sank in. It does happen from
time to time. But feigning as much nonchalance as I could manage, I
just sighed and said, "Well, I guess most observers on the outside
sure as fuck would think so."

"I don't care," said Noah. "I mean, I know we can't TELL anybody about
it, but I don't care. Do you?" He was looking right at me.

There HAD to be something in that water supply. I am SERIOUS about
this. "No, I don't care."

"Cool!" And then he hugged me. Damn.

"Soo..." - Jacob was still being speculative.- "So you think we'll
always be? ... Gay?"

'You're older than I am. Why are you asking ME all these questions,
anyway? I mean, the way I heard it, lots of people our age mess
around, but then maybe once they grow up they're not. So it's not a
big deal now."

"Except if our parents ever found out, it WOULD be."

"LOTS of people ever find out, it would be."

"But it's fun, huh?" (And we're back to Jacob here. In case you lost track.)

                      o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

And so to conclude this chapter, (almost), if you're going to come
out, I mean all the WAY, it helps if the person you're coming out to
is sucking your dick at the time. Even if you're probably not going to
be terribly coherent. At least not until after you catch your breath.
Well, you know how it is.

There were many MANY revelations on Thursday afternoon, April 6th.
Because, after all, even if you're just getting started, you can't
molest each other constantly. Not even if you're sixteen, fourteen and
twelve.

On the one hand they were amazed at all the ways that newly discovered
button of theirs could be massaged, and on the other hand, well, they
HAD been thinking about it. And it DID occur to them that you could
sort of... like, fuck.

But I just MENTIONED it to them, OK? Because I got scruples. Honest.
So you needed to gradually work your way up. One finger, two, maybe
three, carrots and the like work fairly well, various household
utensils... Tommy's dick... yeah, that would be a good starter... or
maybe not, but at least HE would probably enjoy it..some.. it was like
we were planning a science fair project.

But, speaking of Tommy, he came in right at 5:40 walking a little funny.

"You're ten minutes late," Jacob informed him.

"Well, I got to go to the bathroom," Tommy said, hurriedly.

But, not to worry, not long after he was back downstairs and,"Guess
what?" he said, "Now I know something else I bet you guys don't know
about."

"Good or bad?" I wondered.

"Um... both. ... But more good than bad. ... I mean, it's really
really good, but right at first it... well, Jimmy said before long?
Wouldn't be nothing. Bad, I mean. Just good. REAL good. He does it all
the time. But right at first? For him? Sometimes.. not good."
-(snicker)- "But then sometimes... AWESOME! ... And that's all I'm
going to tell you about it. Except - Saturday night? Think maybe we
could camp out?"

"Probably," replied Jacob carefully. "As long as I'm there making sure
you don't ... get into trouble. You can make some of the biggest
damn... messes-"

"Oh... it won't be THAT big of a mess," and then Tommy jumped up and
smugly went into the kitchen.

(Well, I'd already mentioned certain side effects that could show up
early on, so that's why we decided we maybe oughta wait. I was
perfectly willing to be on the receiving end, but by the time it came
up, we'd already worn ourselves out. So sixteen, fourteen and twelve
or not, it could take awhile. Which would have been a good thing,
except for the fact that their mother was by then on her way home. And
sometimes it doesn't take long to drive 40 miles. You can't ever
tell.)

To me the thing about games is this: as long as you're going to let
the "victim(s)" know that it was a game and that you the
perpetrator(s) are just as willing to be "victimized," and as long as
you let your victim(s) KNOW that before they're emotionally
traumatized or anything, well, it can be a fucking TRIP! When I was
initiated into the club, I already knew it was a game, even if they
played the game so well I almost forgot. But still, deep down I did
know it was a game. But I often wondered how much better it might have
been if before it started I'd been UNAWARE that it was a game, you
know?

Oh, and in conclusion (no, really, this IS the last paragraph) (of
this installment, anyway) - I was ABOUT to mention that there were
others at school who were aware of my being gay and how it didn't
bother them, but then that game idea popped into my head, and I
decided to think about it. We'll come up with something. Me,
Constantin, Isac, Jesse, the twins... Oh. The twins. Hmmm. Well, maybe
they can pull THEIR surprise later. I mean, damn! We could have like
three, four SEPARATE surprises.

So I guessed I'd think about it. (And OK, so the above was ALMOST my
last paragraph, then.) But THIS one really is. Cause see? I'm going
now. Bye. Till next time.


jjjanicki@gmail.com