Date: Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:13:40 -0500
From: J.J. <jjjanicki@gmail.com>
Subject: Constantin-chapter 8

Warning Warning Warning: The following chapter contains sex play involving
minor teenage boys. Which I'm sure comes a surprise to everyone. Except for
those who aren't reading this story because I've already told them in no
uncertain terms not to if for any reason they weren't supposed to be reading
such materials prior to the previous seven chapters. So I can only assume
that they are in fact not reading this story and I am very glad that they
aren't.

But just in case anyone has forgotten, if reading such materials is illegal
due to place of residence or age or if you are offended by such material,
then exit.

Thank you.

And now for whoever might be left, this chapter is a sort of transition
chapter and actually doesn't contain as much sex as the previous chapters,
even if quite a bit is implied. But then come to think of it, chapter seven
probably didn't contain as much sex as earlier chapters either. So I promise
to at least TRY to do better with this in chapters to come. But still, I
hope it is at least of some interest to you.


                            Constantin
                           chapter eight


If you're an adult living a double life; one respectably straight, married
with children; and the other gay, being outed can be a truamatic experience.
There have been several cases where I was delighted the person was outed,
but I can see where it could cause some sleepless nights.

But if you're a kid, for the most part your only choice is to live a double
life. That's how things ARE. So if you're gay, the question becomes whether
you want to wait until you're old enough to take care of yourself or do you
want to take a chance on it then. Being afraid to take that chance can lead
to a lot of frustration and a lifetime of what-ifs. But if you decide to
TAKE that chance...

Living happily ever after isn't a guarantee either. If so, there would be no
chance involved but that's the way life is. It sucks sometimes.

I took that chance. I thought he was my friend. And obviously I thought he
was pretty hot. That night I spent at his house I THOUGHT he was sending out
a signal. Sleeping in the same bed seemed to be a good start, he said I
probably wouldn't be all that comfortable on the floor. Noticing his dick
sticking out of his boxers when he undressed for bed sure seemed to be a
good hint and when about thirty minutes later he rolled over on my side
poking me in my ribs with his boner I thought for sure that was IT. Finally!

It was only a sign that he was feeling horny though. He just wondered it I'd
do it. Which I did, and as is usually the case when you're horny as fuck,
while you're getting a blow job you don't mind too much. But once he'd shot
his load he didn't want me near him. He said he'd thought for awhile that I
was a fag, but he just wanted to know what it felt like to have his dick
sucked. So now he knew and if I wanted to sleep on the floor I could, but if
I could go on home, that would be even better.

                    o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"I thought you said this was going to be a good story" interrupted Dorsey.

Not wanting to give away TOO much I replied, "Well, it could get better. It
starts out bad, but you just got to make the best of things. So pretty soon
it might get better."

"Well I sure HOPE so, because so far it sucks." That was Tommy. Looked like
they were ganging up on me again.

"I've already seen a lot of it and it DOES get better" said Constantin in my
defense.

So just so everybody isn't confused as shit, I guess I should explain some
things. It was by then December. Tyndal hadn't completely dropped out, but
what with basketball and Melissa, he wasn't around that often. So the twins
and Isac thought they had a new candidate for our club. Jesse. They were
anxious to get on with it, but me and Constantin had our doubts. Which I'll
get to in a minute. But we still needed to think up a good initiation for
him just in case. So Constantin thought maybe this story I was working on
would give the others some ideas. I wasn't so sure about that, but I was
hoping to at least put some ideas into our current member's heads. In
particular Isac's. And maybe the twin's too.

But anyway. The story is related first person again as I usually had better
results doing it that way. The main protagonist's name is Joe. He lives in
Indianapolis and has been brought up in the LDS Church by his aunt and
uncle. Which happened to be the religion inflicted on Jesse. Mormon. And
since they seem to be fairly intolerant of alternate life styles themselves,
that would explain why me and Constantin had doubts.

Joe's 14 and has an average sized dick. The twins and Isac were interested
in that facet of his character. (So it's about five inches then.)

He's a pot head. Since the twins and Isac observed Jesse out in the woods
toking away one afternoon, I guessed I might as well add that into the
equation. Even though everybody in our club was against doing drugs. I
fooled around with it up in Bloomington, but that was because Jeff was
adamantly opposed to it. Said it was for losers. So if he was agin it then I
was fer it. But I usually ended up getting paranoid which isn't much fun, so
I said the hell with it.

And besides, Constantin was adamantly opposed to it as well. And Isac said
it was stupid. Which should FURTHER explain why I quit. Oh, and did I
mention my father? Another good reason.

(The twins said they'd tried it, but it made them too hyper. Them being more
hyper than NORMAL? That's not good.)

But about Jesse. First, almost everybody at school THOUGHT he was gay. He
hadn't come out, but he ACTED that way. And from our perspective, that
wasn't a good thing. And if he WERE to come out, it would be worse. He could
come out to US, but other than that, no. He also let himself get pushed
around. I know, you might have gotten the impression that I let myself get
pushed around, but I didn't. I usually knew how to avoid trouble. And I was
good at passive resistance too. Isac could act out and get away with it
because... well, you already know why. He was like, "I do what I fucking
well WANT to do. So you want to make anything out of it?" He didn't SAY
that, but he didn't HAVE to. And of course NObody had a clue about Tyndal or
the twins or Constantin.

And the other thing was we were afraid he might end up getting freaked out.
Maybe not like Jack the preacher's kid, but if you're brought up believing
HOMoSEXuALity is the most DISgusting sin imaginable, unless you're prepared
to reject the entire belief system that's based on, then it could be like a
time bomb.

But then on the OTHER hand, he was cute. And we have to take that into
consideration too. I did anyway. And we WISHED; Constantin and I; that we'd
been along when Jesse was seen out in the woods that day. It sounded like he
was even weirder than me. He had his dog with him. A German Shepherd. And
the first thing he did was try to blow his dog some shotguns. I'd NEVER try
to get my pet wasted. Especially if it was a German Shepherd. But then him
and the dog were sort of wobbling down the trail and he'd attached the dog's
leash to the waist of his sweat pants and the dog took off and he was going
"Whoa beast, Whoa!" but the dog did no such thing and just pulled his sweats
right OFF. Accidently on purpose apparently as he had nothing on underneath
except a major hard-on. But then after a couple more tokes, he went on down
the trail I guess to get his dog and his sweat pants back. Still had a boner
though. But then you thought something ELSE was going to happen, right?

Well, it might've. Who knows? Get yourself and the dog high enough and I
guess anything's possible.

But then on the OTHER hand, that is fucking WEIRD. Which should've put
doubts in EVERYBODY'S heads.

But on with the story. Which picks up after Joe has been outed in school. He
starts out really passive but gradually progresses to being... somebody else
I guess. At least it seems like his personality changes. But at least Joe
was never as weird as Jesse.

                    o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

After awhile I was mostly ignored. I got some icy stares, but aside from
that I was left alone. For the most part. There was Daryl, a wise ass not
much bigger than I was who was in my home room and was assigned the desk
next to me in the back of the room. So after word got out he started asking
if I wante to suck his dick. Said he had a big one. Which was difficult for
me to believe just looking at him, so I was interested, but I ignored him
and after awhile he left me alone. At least for awhile. See, he had this
friend Andy who sat right in front of him. He was sixteen. He'd flunked a
couple of times and was about to do it again. And he was also a minor bully.
Not major because he was tall but skinny, so mostly he just talked tough and
egged people like Daryl on. He had a big dick though. About 7 inches. I'd
never seen Daryl's, but I'd seen his. I was in the bathroom when he came in
and started pissing in the middle of the floor. So I saw it. He asked if I
liked looking at it, so I got real red-faced and got out there and that was
about all there was to it UNTIL that Monday morning in homeroom.

Miss Denham could NOT keep the inmates under control. She barely even tried.
If she was even in the room, it was a zoo and a lot of the time she WASN'T
in the damn room. Then it got worse. So she was out of the room that morning
and it was chaos. But nobody was paying attention to Andy and Daryl in the
back. Fortunate for me that they weren't. Andy leaned back and whispered
something to Daryl then I heard Daryl say, "OK, I will. Right now. Just move
your desk into the aisle so nobody can see us."

I tensed. I had a good idea whatever was afoot involved me and as usual I
was right. With a loud scrape and a leer, Andy forthrightly moved himself
and his desk into the middle of the aisle and looked back at us expectantly.
Then Daryl said, "Hey! Joe! Give me your hand a second!" I just looked at
him. "I SAID give me your hand!" he repeated and when I continued to just
stare at him, he grabbed it and stuck it in his POCKET. Which had a big hole
in it. And you may not believe this, but he didn't have on any underwear. I
swear. And of course he was hard. And damn if it didn't seem to be decent
and damn if he didn't have hair. I could feel it. I was shocked. Both by
what he was doing and discovering he'd actually grown one. He said, "You
really like that, don't you?"

"No" I answered and I tried to extricate my hand. (And needless to say, in
the middle of homeroom I really didn't.)

But he kept holding my hand there. "Yeah, you like it all right. Give it a
squeeze" he said.

"Cut it out" I pleaded.

"I said squeeze it!"

So red as a beet I did. I really have no idea if I could've kicked his ass
or not. Maybe, but I was too cowed to try. I just wanted him to cut it out
before somebody saw what was going on so I squeezed it and asked him if I
could please have my hand back.

"Say you'll suck it and I'll let go" he answered.

I stared at him dumbly.

"Nobody's going to know about it. Just me and Andy. We'll be waiting for you
on the front steps after school and we'll go over to my house. You want to?
You've done it before. Just say you will and I'll let you go, all right?"

"Shit, you'll tell everybody you know."

"Won't tell anybody, will we Andy?" Andy solemnly shook his head no.

So I was tempted, but right at that moment I had no intention of sucking
them off. I just said I would so he'd let go of my hand.

"You better not be lying" said Daryl.

"We'll BOTH kick your ass if you don't show up" added Andy.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be there" I said.

"So we'll see you then" said Daryl cheerfully and he let me have my hand
back. Then he added, "But you BETTER be there soon as school's out. You
don't, we're not just going to kick your ass, you're going back home without
your pants on and I'm going to tell everybody how you had your hand in my
pocket feeling me off. I'll call your house and tell your damn aunt about
it. I'll tell EVERYBODY."

That was a long day. All day long I weighed the possibilities. If all I had
to look forward to was just being beat up, I probably wouldn't have in spite
of being interested in seeing what he looked like. But what if he really
called my house? Well, I could say they were lying. But on the other hand, I
wouldn't have put their pulling my pants off past them. Probably neither of
them would've by himself, but with one egging on the other, they would most
likely and how would I explain THAT? It really didn't matter HOW I explained
it, my uncle would (1) be mad because I let somebody do it to me and (2)
he'd also do his best to find out WHY and if he dug deep enough, he might
find out. As for telling everybody I had my hand in his pocket; about that I
had no doubt at all; they WOULD. So maybe if I sucked them off they STILL
would, but then maybe they wouldn't either and even if they did, what
difference did it make? Didn't everybody already know anyway? So in the end
I did it. I think they were surprised I actually showed up, but I did.

He lived two blocks away. We went downstairs into the den. Daryl said he was
first because it was his house. So he popped his boner out and told me to go
to it.

I said, "Maybe you should pull your pants down some first because if you
don't, it'll be rubbing against your zipper. I mean it'll be more
comfortable if you do."

"You're the expert I guess" he said and he nonchalantly pulled his pants all
the way down and I got a much better look. His penis was about average and
was standing almost straight up. He had a fairly bushy light brown bush. And
he came in less than a minute. He was primed. Guess he had been all day
long.

Andy's was also close to vertical when he pulled his pants down and and he
came very quickly as well. Only at that point they wouldn't let me go home
because soon as they smoked a doobie I was going to do it again.

"I'll do you tomorrow, but I got to deliver my papers now" I told them.

"You'll do it tomorrow and you'll do it today" said Daryl. "It's not going
to take you all that long."

"I got to deliver my papers" I repeated.

"So they'll be a little late getting them" said Daryl.

"I'll do it tomorrow" I said and started to leave.

"If we pull his damn pants off I bet he don't go anywhere" said Andy and
seconds later that's what they did. Daryl said, "So grab his ass and hold
him down", Andy grabbed me, quickly unfastened my pants and told Daryl to
pull, Daryl said soon as he got my shoes off he would and not to let me go.
"I got him, he ain't going nowhere" said Andy and then after Daryl got my
shoes off he started pulling on my pants legs. But then when Andy picked me
up off the floor a little and yanked my shorts down he had his hand on my
dick. Daryl couldn't see what he was doing, but that turkey was feeling me
off. But I didn't say anything about it and aside from that quick feel he
didn't try anything else. And of course I blew them again. But I did ask
them if first I could have a few tokes.

"Yeah, let's get fuck face high" said Daryl. That second session took
longer, but they still came fairly soon because I knew how to get them off.
Then they let me have my pants and while I was behind on my deliveries, it
wasn't bad enough to warrant a flood of calls to my house or the office.

Daryl called me around seven that evening and wondered if I could drop by
his place AGAIN because his old lady would be out for an hour or so. Well, I
said I would if I could think of an excuse. So I guess at that point they
figured they didn't have to FORCE me, which they didn't. But things soon
started getting complicated. I should have known it could work out that way
but then it wasn't like I had much choice in the matter, you know? Plus now
that it's over and done with, it's not like I didn't get anything out of it
myself. It was humiliating, but even so, I got my rocks off quite a few
times.

So OK. The following afternoon I did both of them again. Wednesday they said
they would just meet me at Daryl's after school since they didn't want to be
seen with me. I said that was cool as long as they understood I couldn't
stay too long. Then Thursday afternoon I got fucked for the first time.
Which was an eye-opening experience. Because all the straights think being
fucked is a BAD thing. And I WAS a bit humiliated; first time I was; and
when Andy pushed his seven inches in it hurt, but guess what, it also felt
good. REALLY good.

Well, a dirty secret then. I'd been pushing various objects up my hole for
several months. But as a result of all that I already knew it felt good,
only until they came along I had no IDEA just how good it could get. (And
they did lube themselves and my hole first. Because otherwise it wouldn't
have been all that comfortable for them either.)

But that still didn't make me feel good about what was going on. It was just
another dirty secret.

They wanted me to drop by Saturday afternoon. Daryl's old lady wouldn't be
around then. She didn't seem to be home all that often, to tell you the
truth. Well, I was getting tired of it but still I guessed I would be better
off if I did what they wanted. So I got there around two only they had
company; some guy I'd never seen before. His name was John Kelley, Andy's
cousin from across town. I hoped he'd just showed up unexpectedly. They SAID
they weren't going to tell anybody else about what was going on.

"Oh" I said, "I didn't know you had company. Well, that's OK. I'll come by
some other time."

"Well sure" said Andy, "But before you take off, John wants you to suck his
cock, OK?"

I looked at Daryl. "You SAID you weren't going to tell anybody else!"

He looked at Andy sort of meaningfully and answered, "Well, to tell you the
truth I'm not too thrilled about it myself and there BETTER not be anybody
else showing up, but I guess it'll be OK this time."

The John spoke up for the first time. He said, "Well, look, if it could make
trouble for you, I'll go. I mean it. You want me to leave?"

"Why?" asked Andy. "I didn't know Daryl was going to have a duck fit, but
since you're HERE and you KNOW about it..." Then he looked beseechingly at
Daryl and finished, "I mean you don't care do you? I didn't know you didn't
want anybody else... But who's going to know? It's not like he goes to
school with us, so who's he going to tell? So it's OK, right?"

"You can stay" said Daryl to John. "I don't care."

"You're sure?" asked John. He seemed very polite.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Let's go."

So I was feeling like so much merchandise and was hanging back a bit. I was
going, but I wasn't thrilled to death about it. Daryl and Andy were leading
the way, John was right behind me. But then he asked me if I cared. I swear.

"It don't matter if he does or not" said Andy.

Ignoring him John repeated, "Really. You care?"

"No, I don't care" I said. "When I got here, I was a little embarrassed, but
I do it cause I want to."

"That's cool" said John.

Well, I had best NOT care, else I might be receiving an unpleasant surprise
in the very near future, but I was also intrigued by John. He definitely was
good looking. Olive skin, clear complexion, big dark eyes with some shadow
underneath, somewhat frail looking. About fifteen I guessed. Well dressed,
neat and polite almost to the point of being apologetic about it all. But
what at first was so monumentally mortifying was that he reminded me of
someone I'd once looked up to and in a way it was like I was crapping in my
pants every time I was at Daryl's. So I didn't want this John Kelley person
inspecting my underwear if you know what I mean. Only NOW it was like he was
asking me if I minded him taking a peek.

Once down in the den, everybody but me started getting undressed. And I had
never seen either Daryl or Andy completely naked before. Not that it
mattered, since I'd seen as much of them as was necessary. John I WAS
interested in though, so when Andy said we ALL were going to get naked, I
didn't bother protesting.

John looked perfect. His black bush was bushy but his balls were still
hairless. He was starting to grow hair on his calves and I noticed a few
wispy hairs in his armpits, but that was it. His skin was a much lighter
shade of brown where his swim trunks had once been. I could count his ribs
and his penis was fully erect. It was slightly skinny but a little longer
than average and angled up at about 70 degrees, curving in towards his flat
tummy and quivering slightly in anticipation.

"You look nice" I said. Daryl and Andy sniggered.

"Thanks" he replied ignoring them almost entirely, "So you care if I sit on
the floor? I'll be more comfortable that way. I'll just lean back against
the wall and you can get between my legs, OK?"

Then Andy said, "All he wants is for you to suck his cock, but me and Daryl
like pounding your little ass a lot better. That all right with you?"

"Shit" I thought, but I didn't say anything. And I couldn't look at John.
And HE didn't say anything either, but I noticed he was no less erect. He
KNEW what was going to happen! He KNEW!!

"You sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Ha!" I thought to myself and bitterly I said, "You sure all you want is for
me to suck your cock?"

"Yeah, if you want to, but that's all" said John.

So once he was comfortable I went to it. John stroked my head and moaned
softly. Meanwhile someone behind me was lubing me up. I never bothered to
look back and see who was doing what but Andy went first. He was whooping
and hollering like he was in a rodeo. Daryl merely panted. Meanwhile John
came quickly and with great enthusiasm, but even after he'd shot his load he
held my head buried in his crotch. Well, I sure didn't mind that. He
continued stroking my hair and face tenderly with his still slightly stiff
dick inquisitively rubbing the side of my face. Andy finished loudly and
still he stroked my face and crooned softly, then right before Daryl was
finished, he seemed to be becoming fully aroused again. John, I mean. I
heard Daryl say in a disgusted tone of voice that he was going to take a
shower. "Yeah well, I'm going to fuck him again" said Andy. Which he did and
this time it took longer, but still John held my head. And then he started
stroking my chest, then on down to my tummy and then between MY LEGS! With
his other hand he was gently pushing me towards his once again straining
erection, so I started in on it again with more enthusiasm than had been the
case previously seeing as how he was actually pulling me off. So before long
I erupted. Then after another minute or so he stopped playing with it and a
few minutes later he came again and shortly after that Andy finished as
well. Oh wow! Then Daryl came back down and said we all needed get out of
there before his old lady got back.

Andy panted, "Well, me and John can stick around can't we?"

"YOU can stick around if you want, but everybody else has to go" said Daryl
pointedly.

Wounded somewhat, Andy asked John if he wanted to go some place.

"Nah man, I got to get home" replied John nonchalantly. "So you might's well
just stay here."

"Well, OK then" said Andy with what seemed to be a display of false bravado,
"We'll do it again sometime, right? Fuckface loves it, don't you fuckface?"

Daryl looked at Andy and said meaningfully, "We gotta talk, OK?"

"Yeah, OK" replied Andy looking puzzled. I have no idea what Daryl said, but
I DO know he never messed with me again after that afternoon. Monday morning
he just told me he didn't want me coming around his place anymore. Andy was
another story, but he left me alone for about a week anyway. I was
surprised, but really, John had predicted as much. He said he figured Daryl
was getting freaked out and was starting to doubt his masculinity and if I
had any sense, I'd stay away from them because otherwise they might just
beat the shit out of me. But he figured Andy would be hitting on me again,
and sure enough, he did. But I'm also getting ahead of myself.

So OK. I left right behind John. So soon as the door closed behind us he
asked me if I wanted a ride anywhere.

"What?" I asked him, "You got a car?"

"That blue Camaro" he said.

"You mean you've got your DRIVER'S LICENSE?"

"You want to see it?"

"No, I don't guess so... You mean you're sixteen?"

"Sixteen plus two whole weeks... And you don't look fourteen either."

"How you know how old I am?" I asked as we got into his car. (Of course I
had several OTHER questions, but I wasn't sure how to ask THOSE, so I
guessed I'd wait and hope the opportunity eventually presented itself.)

"I asked" he answered. "Andy called me up all excited, so I asked him.
Because if you had of been any younger I wouldn't have wanted anything to do
with it. No offense, but if I'd known you'd just started puberty, I STILL
wouldn't have had anything to do with it. He didn't tell me anything about
that, he just said you were in the ninth grade. So where you want to go?"

"I guess to my house. I've got a paper route I need to deliver."

"Then what you got to do?"

"Nothing, much."

"When you need to be home?"

"Just before six I guess. Why?"

"If I help you with your paper route.. Well, first, do Andy or Daryl ever
come around your neighborhood?"

"No, and they don't know where I deliver papers, either."

"Good. Sounds safe enough... See, I don't really want them knowing about me
helping you out, or anything. And I sort of like you, but if you say one
word about it, I'll kick your ass, OK?"

"I won't... So why you want to help me anyway?"

"Well, later on we'll go by White Castle or something and then we'll ride
around awhile... because I want to ask you something, OK?"

Well, in light of what had just taken place, I certainly was interested in
whatever it was he wanted to ask and I was glad he even WANTED to ask me a
question and ride around. And helping me with my paper route was OK too,
even if he wasn't much help. Well, he helped a little and I enjoyed his
company. As for really TALKING though, well, we didn't do that until
afterwards.

After we went through the drive-through at White Castle he went, "So you
want to know WHY Andy wanted me over so bad?"

I swallowed and thought about it briefly, then I said, "Yeah, I've got a
pretty good idea, but if I tell you, are you going to say anything to him
about it?"

"I swear I won't. And you're not going to tell him what I said either. You
better not even tell him we rode around or anything, OK?"

"Sure. OK. Well, I sort of think Andy's a little bit queer himself. .. I
mean I SURE can't talk about that, but I just think he is a little."

"Actually, he is a LOT."

"You serious?"

"Yeah. It's funny. It is fucking HILARIOUS if you think about it. The reason
he wanted me over so bad was that he wanted to see ME. He wanted to see my
dick hard" he said. Then he went on to tell me about how one time he spent
the night with him and he woke up with Andy's hand inside his pajamas.

... "So what did you do?" I wondered.

"What did I do? I let him", he said. "For awhile I did, but pretty soon I
got tired of it and rolled over and he didn't try anything else."

"He felt me off too" I said and then I told him about it. He said he wasn't
surprised but it wouldn't be smart to let on that I knew what he was doing.
I told him I'd figured that much out already. Then he wondered how they
found about me being gay and so I explained that; how I THOUGHT this guy I
used to be friends with wanted to play around but he ended up sawing the
limb off on me. It was a fairly brief explanation though.

So once I was finished, John said, "Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of myself."


"I don't know what you mean" I said. Well, I DID have a pretty good idea
what he was talking about, but I was having trouble believing it and I SURE
didn't want to say something he didn't WANT said, which is why I was hoping
I'd given him an opening to say it himself.

"What do you think I mean? I mean I'm kind of gay myself" he replied.

"Well, it sure doesn't bother me any" I allowed.

"Although I'm probably more like bisexual, really. Everybody's bisexual to a
certain extent. ..Least that's what I've heard. Nobody's entirely homosexual
and nobody's entirely heterosexual. That's what I heard anyway... You like
girls any?"

"Sure. I just don't know how to act around them, but I like some of them a
lot. There's this girl in my French class I can't keep my eyes off... You
got a girl friend?"

"I did. But we broke up. Not that she knew anything about me, I mean NOBODY
at my school knows anything at all and I'd like to keep it that way" he
said. Then he went on to tell me about some guy at his school who WAS openly
gay but he wasn't ABOUT to have anything to do with him and nobody else was
either. But the kid was fairly unattractive anyway, so it didn't matter. Now
I was sort of cute but all the same he wouldn't have anything to do with me
if he lived near me, but since I was over on the other side of town he
didn't figure he had anything to worry about. He didn't want me to get the
idea we were going to be lovers though, because we weren't. I was too young
and he felt sort of guilty about it.

"If I enjoyed it, then why should you feel guilty?" I asked.

"So we're still not going to be lovers. I just want to let you in on that
before I ask you anything else, OK?"

So I was disappointed to hear we couldn't be lovers, but even so I wondered
just what he DID want to ask.

Only he went, "What time did you say you had to be home?"

"Around six I guess."

"Um.. so you think you could make up an excuse to stay out awhile longer?
Say about nine or so. You think you could?"

I wasn't sure, but I called and said I was doing some research at the
library and my uncle said it was OK as long as I got back before 9:30. Well,
that was great but then the first question he asked after that was if I got
high. So I said sure. So we smoked one and then not too long after that
another and rode around aimlessly for awhile longer not saying anything
about whatever else it was he wanted to ask me but finally he managed to at
least get started. At least with something.

"I don't know how you're going to take it" he said, then when I didn't say
anything he continued on, "You know who you remind me of?"

"No, who?"

"My cousin Traci when she was twelve" he said, then when it became apparent
I wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to that he added, "I mean don't
take it wrong. What I mean is... well, do you know what androgynous means?"

"I guess so, but-"

"So Traci was androgynous because most of the time you couldn't tell if she
was a girl or a boy. With her clothes on, I mean. She was a tomboy, see. And
I've seen boys that right at first you just couldn't tell. Shit, SOMETIMES I
go in my room and... I haven't EVER told anybody else this, not even my
fucking psychoanalyst, I mean NOBODY, but see, the deal is, you're the first
person I KNEW I didn't have to worry about. No offense, but you're gay. And
nobody knows me around here except for Andy and nobody knows you where I
live. So I suppose I feel safe telling you all this because I'm not worried
you're going to tell anybody. I mean you don't mind, do you?"

"Mind what? And he goes to his room and... where was THAT going? well, start
over here." That's what I was thinking. But...

"No, I think it's sort of a trip" I said. "So I'm androgynous because if I
were to put on a dress I might pass for a girl, is that what you're saying?"


"Yeah, but I don't mean that in a bad way at all. Charlie and Tripp might
fall in love. See, Charlie's my little brother and Tripp's his best friend.
And not long ago Charlie was trying to make time with this girl... well, she
was cute, but she was still wearing a training bra, you know... Maybe she
didn't even bother wearing a bra. But he didn't know what to do and SHE
didn't, so now they're mad at each other, but ..." and then he trailed off
again and I tried to remember what I was going to ask before he started
telling me about his little brother's first love affair. It was increasingly
difficult for me to keep up with everything. I knew we were wasted but even
so I was getting frustrated with him starting to tell me one thing and then
sailing off into something else. But finally I remembered a question.

                    o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Only before I GOT to that Isac interrupted, "Yeah, well I got a question
too. You trying to put ideas into my head or something? Because if you ARE,
it worked."

"What? I don't even know what you're TALKING about" I replied.

"Like hell you don't. Well..." and he thought about it for about thirty
seconds then he added, "So tomorrow it's my turn to get gang banged, is that
all right with everybody?"

Well, it should have been MY turn, but this time I guessed I could wait.



So at any rate, I hope there are enough possibilities here to warrant
further interest come next chapter.

Honest.


jjjanicki@gmail.com