Date: Thu, 29 Mar 2001 12:16:26 -0500
From: fsw99 <fsw99@pop.mindspring.com>
Subject: Chapter 12 of Dear Diary

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				DEAR  DIARY

				  By Stan

			      Chapter Twelve

I started walking in the direction Matt ran off. I had no idea where he had
gone. I walked through the woods for several minutes before I started
calling out his name. No answer. I didn't have any choice, I needed to find
him so I kept walking. I hoped I didn't get lost. That would sure be
embarrassing.

I was almost ready to give up when I called out his name once more and
heard him say, "Over here," behind me. It sounded like a good ways behind
me. He had to have heard me call out before I got this far. I was getting a
little tired of his attitude. He had a HUGE temper, but I had one, too. If
we were going to be boyfriends, this attitude shit had to stop, and stop
now. For once, I started to get an attitude, as I walked back to where he
had called out.

"Matt, where the Hell are you?" I shouted.

"Over here," he called again. I was lots closer this time.

I walked over through some bushes, and there was Matt, sitting on the edge
of a small cliff that overlooked the water. A huge tree was to the left,
and I could see a rope attached to a big branch that went out over the
water, with another rope attached and tied to the shore so it could be
pulled back after someone swung out over the water. This looked like a
great place to go swimming. The beauty of the surroundings almost made me
get over being mad at Matt, but not quite.

"I know you heard me long before you answered. Why the Hell didn't you call
back?"

"I was scared. You're going to break up with me, aren't you?" he asked. I
looked down and could see tears in his eyes.

My resolve for being mad at him wavered, but my anger didn't go away
completely. Some, but not all. "I don't know. Should I? All I know is I am
tired of you getting mad and running off all the time. I guess your
attitude is rubbing off on me, cause I'm pissed this time. We are
boyfriends, right? We are supposed to love each other. Right? But, you keep
getting mad or embarrassed and running away. I'm tired of it. At times, I
think what I need to do is pull your pants down and give you a beating on
your bare butt to make you come to your senses."

Matt just stared up at me for a few seconds, and then said, "If I let you
beat my bare butt like you want to, will you not break up with me?" A small
smile started to form at the corners of his mouth.

"I wasn't thinking about breaking up with you, you twit! (Hey, I am
learning brit slang words from Matt!!! hehehe I don't know what a twit is,
but he has called me that several times when he is pissed!!! Which is a lot
of the time. Hope it doesn't mean something like old fuck head!!! I have no
idea!!! The word just seemed to fit!!! hehehehe The things you think of
when you write!!!)

"I came out here because I was concerned about you. We also have lots to
talk about. But, I'm not going to put up with your attitude any more. We
are going to become a team if we are going to stay together, and that is
what I want. Us to stay together."

"Me too," Matt said, as he got up and hugged me tight. "I love you, Jamie."

"I love you, too. But you have to promise, no more getting mad and running
away. We have to talk things over like normal people and not just make it
worse by cussing and running away. You agree?" I asked.

"Yeah. As long as you love me, I will try. I swear I will."

"You have to do more than try. You have to do it. And if you don't, then I
am going to start punishing you," I said, as I moved us slightly to the
right.

"Oh, yeah? And what would you do to punish me if I don't do what you say?"
Matt asked, as he looked up at me with a grin on his face.

"Well, the first thing I would do is hold you like this," I said, as I
picked him up and wrapped his legs around me like we had done in his room.

He eagerly wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist,
like before. "This doesn't seem like much punishment to me."

"Well, the punishment is just starting," I added, as I moved a little more
to the right, grabbed the rope, put it into both hands as I wrapped my arms
around Matt and ran for the edge.

"Nooooo!" I heard Matt yell, as I swung out over the water and let go. Our
added weight with Matt wrapped around me made us drop quickly. The free
fall was a rush, and then we hit the water. I felt Matt really struggling
to get away from me when we finally quit sinking, and we both kicked to get
to the surface.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED BOTH OF US!!! I HATE YOU!!!
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" he screamed.

I was a good swimmer. Much better than Matt. I swam over and dunked him. I
held him under for a few seconds, then let him up. I held on to him as I
said, "Didn't I say your punishment was just starting?"

"YOU......cough cough..... YOU BASTARD!!!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN WE
GET OUT OF HERE!!!!"

"We get out of here? WE? I don't know about that! Maybe just me, until you
lose that attitude!!"  I answered, and dunked him once again. I left him
down for maybe four seconds, and then pulled him back up.

"QUIT!!!! Quit, or you are going to drown me, YOU ASS HOLE!!!!" he
screamed, in between coughs.

I dunked him one more time for that last outburst, and then starting
swimming over to the shore with Matt in tow. Our feet hit the shore line,
and both of us were finally able to get to our feet.

Matt coughed a few times, and then was finally able to get all his breathe
back. "You're crazy as Hell, you know that?" he sputtered.

"Crazy in love with you!"

Matt shook the water out of his eyes, pushed his hair straight back away
from his face, then looked at me and grinned. "You sure?"

"Pretty sure. I might have to drown all the bad attitude out of you this
weekend, but I think after that, I can have a pretty terrific boyfriend
when I am done."

"Well, you almost drown me right then. I can't believe you made us do the
high dive together!!  ARE YOU CRAZY??? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED BOTH OF US,
YOU STUPID SON OF..."

I dragged Matt back into the water, pulling him in a fireman's crawl. I was
glad I had taken some lifesaving courses. One we had reached deep enough
water, I dunked him once more and held him down for maybe six seconds
before letting him back up.

"OK....(sputter, sputter), OK....(cough) you have made your point. I will
calm down. I promise.  Until I get back to the campsite where I can find an
axe or something."

The kid has spirit. I kind of liked that. One more dunking!!! I pushed him
back under, but only for maybe two seconds, and pulled him back up.

"I give!! I give!!! You win!!! I will change, I swear I will!!! Please get
me back to shore."

I knew that Matt hadn't changed completely, but this was a start. All we
could do for right now. I wasn't mad any more, and we did have lots to
discuss. I pulled his almost limp body back to shore, and helped him to get
back out of the water.

When he had regained most of his strength, he said, "That was really mean."

I just kind of smiled at him. "I guess it was. Sorry. But, it was kind of
mean for you to not answer me, when I was really concerned about you
before. That made me mad. I think the best thing to do is not get mad at
each other any more. What do you think?"

"Well, it seems like a good idea if you are going to try and drown me every
time I get mad at you, that's for sure. I'm not sure yet, once we are way
away from water, I'll decide."

I was stronger than Matt, and I just put my arms around him and headed back
for the water once more.

"No, please!!! I give up. I was just kidding. OK, so you want to always be
in control between us.  You want to be the stronger one. If that is the way
it has to be, I guess I can deal with that. Just don't dunk me any more ,
OK?"

I thought about that for a couple of seconds, and then said, "You know,
that isn't what I want.  You really want to know what I want?"

Matt looked up at me, saw I was serious, and answered, "Yeah."

"I want us to be equal partners. I want us to be equal, exactly the same. I
don't want the fact I can beat you up or overpower you to have anything to
do with our relationship. It shouldn't!!! I want us to never get mad at
each other, and always talk things out. I guess that is asking for the
moon, but that is what I want. If we can just get close to that, I will be
happy!! You know why?"

"No."

"Because I love you. I really love you!!!" I answered, as I pulled him to
me.

We hugged for a long time, wet body against wet body. No kissing. No
sex. No hands exploring.  Just a HUGE hug!!!! And it felt really good and
RIGHT!!!!

I pulled back and saw Matt had been crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. I guess it is just cause I love you so much. I'll try to change,
OK? I'll do everything I can. Just stay with me and help me, OK?"

"Oh, I'll help you. I'll help you a lot. I am going to beat you every time
your temper gets out of control. I'll help you a lot!" I vowed.

Matt didn't seem to care what I had said. He just looked up at me with a
huge grin on his face.  "Will you make love to me tonight, like I want?"

"Matt, I have to be honest about this. Brian had a long talk with me
today. I understand a lot more now than I did before. You asked him to
explain to me, and you knew all he was going to tell me what he did. I love
you, but I think I am like Nate. I know I am not ready for that to happen
to me, and I don't know if I ever will be. Are you OK with that?"

"Yeah. After I asked Brian to talk to you, because I couldn't, he told me
exactly what he would tell you. And I agreed with that. I really did. I
won't ever ask you to do it the other way. Brian hasn't asked Nate, and
that is the way it should be for them. Us, too. But, I would like you to
make love to me tonight. Will you?"

"No, I don't think so."

Matt was visibly shaken. "You won't? You don't want to?"

I hesitated for a long time. "Oh! Fuck you in the butt? Oh yeah, I want to
do that really badly. I have been hard just thinking about that ever since
Brian told me about what you wanted me to do.  I don't think I have gone
down, even when we were swimming in the cold water in the lake. Sure, drag
that little butt back to out tent, and I will give you the fucking of your
life," I said, grinned, and started running.

Matt was stunned by what I had just said, and his moth hung open as my
comments washed over him. Then, he finally figured out that I was kidding
him, as I ran off. "I WILL KILL YOU FOR THAT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! AND
THIS TIME, MY TEMPER CAN'T GET ME INTO TROUBLE!!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT, NOT
MINE!!!" he yelled, as he finally ran after me.

I had a big head start, and I could run faster than Matt, but he was used
to running through the trees and underbrush. I wasn't. I was used to
running on tracks or streets. This slowed me down a lot. Matt was actually
gaining on me as we got closer to the camp.

When we finally burst through the underbrush into the open camp site, Matt
screamed at me once more, startling both Brian and Bruce. Why, I couldn't
figure out. Just because we were drenched from head to toe and running like
a pack of wolves were hot on our trail, I have no idea why that would
startle them. Hehehe

"What's wrong with you two? You're dripping water," Brian said, as I
stopped in front of him.

Matt didn't stop, he banged into me hard from behind, causing me, Brian,
and himself to collapse on the ground. With Brian on the bottom, getting
wetter by the second.

Bruce ran over and stood next to us. Did he help us up? Nooooo!!! He did
burst out laughing at all of us. So I did the only thing I could do under
the circumstances. I reached out and caught his foot and dragged him into
the wet pile. It did stop him from laughing at us, though.

"Will you wet ass holes get off of me? What did you both do, go swimming in
all of your clothes?" Brian yelled.

"You won't believe it. Jamie picked me up, then grabbed the rope, and
before I knew what was happening, he ran for the edge of the cliff and
swung out over the water, then let go," Matt answered.

"No way!! NO WAY!!!" Bruce yelled.

"Yeah. It almost scared me half to death. Then, he kept dunking me when I
got mad at him. I'll bet he dunked me fifty times."

"Well, not nearly that many times, but quite a few," I answered, laughing.

"You don't understand. We have been coming here for several years, and Matt
has never swung out over the water before. He hates heights. I can't
believe he even got near the edge," Brian said.

"He was sitting on the edge when I finally found him," I answered,
confused.

"I was so scared, I guess I didn't think about where I was. I just sat down
and was staring out into space," Matt answered.

"What did you think was going to happen?" Bruce asked.

"I thought Jamie was going to break up with me. But, he isn't. And he
agreed to make love to me!!!" Matt almost yelled. He stopped for a second
like he was thinking, then said, "You know, we have to take off all these
wet clothes anyway........"

"Yeah, you both have to get naked now or you might catch cold," Brian
added, with a grin on his face.

"Plus, Matt must be tired from getting dunked so many times. I'll bet he
would feel lots better if he laid down on one of the sleeping bags for a
few minutes," Bruce added as he giggled.

"Yeah, you're right. I think laying down for a while is just what I need
right now. Want to come and take a nap with me, Jamie?" Matt asked, with a
hungry look in his eyes.

"Yeah, I am feeling a little bit tired, too. I think a nap right now might
be just what we both need," I kidded back.

All of us quickly stood up. "I hope you aren't too tired, Jamie," Matt
kidded.

"Oh, I think I can summon up some extra strength if I need to," I answered,
laughing. I stepped over and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Are you sure
this is what you want?"

"Oh, yeah, I am positive."

"I really don't know what to do, you know."

"Bruce and I can help, just like I told you before. Come on, before either
of you changes his mind," Brian said, as he slipped one arm around each of
us and pushed us gently towards the tent.

Neither of us needed much pushing. We were both clearly excited, as we
stared at each other with huge grins on our faces.

We all entered the tent. It wasn't very big, and I knew that it would be a
tight fit with six of us in here tomorrow night. But, right now, I didn't
care, and come to think of it, all of being close to each other tomorrow
night seemed like more fun than anything else. I was really getting to be
closer to all of my new brothers, and that would just give us a chance to
bond even more.

But bonding wasn't exactly what was on my mind right now. I kissed Matt one
more time, and then clothes started flying all over the tent. I think all
four of us set a new record for getting naked the fastest.

Matt kissed me once more, and then laid down on his back and stared at
me. He had a grin on his face, but also a look of concern.

Brian went over to one of the folded backpacks and got out a tube. He
handed it to me, and said, "I'll tell you everything to do, but I want you
to do it, not me. Matt's your responsibility. I know you don't want to hurt
him, and I will show you how to make sure he will enjoy everything and feel
as little pain as possible."

"OK, but just make sure I do it right," I said.

"I will. I won't let you get started until I am sure Matt is as loose as he
can be. The one good thing for both of you is that Matt tends to get loose
in a hurry. When the three of us have our jack off sessions at home, we
have been preparing him for this moment for several years," Brian said.

"Yeah, I remember that you put two fingers up him the day of the first
fight," I answered.

"Yeah, you're right. But I could tell he was ready. You have to learn how
to tell, too. Put some lube on him and coat your index finger
thoroughly. Then, put it at the opening, and just gently apply
pressure. Don't go too fast. Let him let you in when he is ready. Bruce and
I will hold his legs back."

I did as I was told, kneeling in front of Matt. I looked down at him and
smiled. He smiled back, but I could tell he was still a little bit
scared. "Are you sure, Matt? We can wait until you are, you know."

"I've been ready since we first met. Go ahead."

I placed my finger at the opening and started gently pushing. Matt opened
up right away, and my finger slowly pushed inside. It was a weird
feeling. Hot and tight, and also slightly mushy inside.

"Twist your finger around, especially around the opening. Matt, let your
muscles relax as much as you can. The idea is to stretch the muscles and
get them to relax more and more as you increase the pressure. Once you feel
that there isn't much resistance to you moving in and out, then take out
the finger completely, wipe anything you need to on the towel by your side,
put more lube on two fingers, and repeat what you did with one. Go slower
this time, and especially when you add the third finger. One goes in
easy. Two and three don't," Brian said.

Matt was feeling pretty loose, so I took out the first finger and did as
Brian had instructed. He was right, two didn't go in as easy, but Matt
relaxed a little bit more, and they both slid in. He let out a big sigh as
they both entered him, so I knew I wasn't hurting him. Hurting him was what
I had been afraid of all this time. Maybe it wouldn't hurt like I had
thought.

"The prostate is a couple of inches inside the opening on his balls
side. See if you can find it.  Rubbing against it will both give him
pleasure and help get him to relax so you can add the third finger."

I started feeling around where Brian had told me and heard Matt gasp. I
continued to rub there for a while, and Matt started moaning, "Oh yeah,
right there."

Two fingers were now going in and out very easily, so I took them out,
wiped them off, and added more lubricant to three fingers. I put them back,
and applied a little pressure. Nothing happened. I added a little more, and
saw Matt wince.

"Don't go too fast. Just put constant pressure and don't force it. The
muscles will fight for a while, but will gradually ease up and let them
in," Brian said. "Matt, push out like you are taking a dump, OK? Matt just
nodded his head yes.

I backed off a little bit, and did what he said. It seemed like hours, but
I know it was more like a minute or two before Matt did relax enough for
all three fingers to finally slide in.

"Don't push all the way in at once. Do it in steps. Let Matt get used to
where you are for a few seconds, then push a little more in. Go very
slowly. This is your last step, but the most important one. You are doing
fine. Are you OK, Matt?" Brian asked.

"Yeah. It hurts some, but not much, really. Go ahead and push a little more
in Jamie. Just go slow, OK?"

"I will. I don't care how long it takes. I just don't want to hurt you."

Matt grinned up at me. "Thanks. I just wish there was a pill or something
you could take so we didn't have to do all of this. I want you inside me."

"Well, there isn't, so get used to this. You have to do this every time you
make love," Brian answered.

"I'm glad Dave and I aren't very big yet. We never have to go beyond two
fingers, and we both get loose pretty easily. It doesn't take us very long
at all," Bruce said.

I pushed a little more inside, and found Matt's prostate once more. He
started moaning again right away. I didn't push any more and just let him
get used to it as I thought about what Bruce had just said. I hadn't
thought about the fact that a small penis might be an advantage, not a
disadvantage, in making love to a boy. I certainly could understand that it
would go in lots easier.  Then I thought about Matt's small size, and
started wondering about that for the first time. Huh!

"Jamie? Jamie, did you hear Matt?" Brian asked.

"Huh? Oh no, sorry. I was thinking about something else."

"Hehehehe What the Hell else could you be thinking about? You are about to
make love to Matt for the first time. He just said he was ready for you to
push in further," Brian kidded.

"Oh, OK," I answered sheepishly, as I blushed a little bit. I did as I was
told, and all three fingers finally hit bottom. I gently twisted them back
and forth, and did it easily.

"I think he is as ready as he is going to be. Take them out carefully and
put lots of lube on your dick. I think you both are going to really enjoy
this," Brian said.

(Am I a Bastard for ending the chapter here? Yep!!! I was in a three way
chat earlier today with Matt and Dave discussing a problem with one of our
guys, and Matt ordered me to get off ICQ and get back to writing. For 14,
Matt isn't shy, and it is time to teach him a lesson. I keep having to
threaten to come to England and give him a good spanking to keep him in
line!!! This ends the chapter and also is all he gets to read for several
days!!! This message is for you, Matt. Better be nicer to me!!! hehehehe)

To be continued.

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