Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2001 15:38:46 -0500 From: fsw99 <fsw99@pop.mindspring.com> Subject: Chapter 19 of Dear Diary Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com. All e-mails will be answered. DEAR DIARY By Stan Chapter Nineteen Matt leaned over and kissed me passionately. When we broke it, we could see that Tad had stared at us through most of the kiss. "That's the first most important part, Tad, you have to be a good kisser. Are you?" Matt asked. "I think so. Steph and I kissed a lot. I have also been out with several other girls and we all kissed, but never much else." "Well, kiss me and let me be the judge," Matt said. I watched, still in the three way hug, as Tad leaned in and kissed my boyfriend. I wasn't sure if I could go along with this or not. Even after everything they had told me. They kissed for a long time. Too long. When they finally broke it off, Matt said, "That was pretty good. Now kiss Jamie." Tad looked at me shyly. "Is it OK, Jamie?" "I guess so," I answered. What else could I say? He leaned in and kissed me lightly at first, and then the kiss gained momentum. My mind was in deep conflict for a few seconds, and then my passion started to rise. Tad wasn't a bad kisser at all. Not as good as Matt, but not bad. Not bad at all!!! I kissed back strongly, as I felt Matt's and Tad's hands start to stroke my back. I returned the caresses. Soon, we were stroking up and down each other's backs and forcing t-shirts further up. Breathing was getting much heavier. I felt a hand slide down my body and between my legs, and my breath caught at the same time. I had no idea if it was Matt or Tad, until I saw Tad's expression change at the same time. Matt had done it to both of us at the same time. Tad was moaning already. Hey, rookies!!! He pulled me over and kissed me passionately, and I let him. Plus, I enjoyed it. Matt started pulling up my t-shirt and I raised my hands to let him take it off. It was like he was in charge of this show. He then did the same to Tad, then looked at Tad and raised his hands over his head. Tad just grinned hugely, and took his off, too. We all resumed our group hug, but shortly afterwards, I felt hands at my waist, undoing my belt. I thought it must be Matt, and I looked down. Nope, it was Tad. Matt was busy taking Tad's pants down, and so he had decided to do the same to me. I looked him in the eye, and he looked at me as if to ask if it was all right. Fuck it! I had come this far. I just shook my head yes, and he tore into them, taking them down. I reached over and also started to do the same to Matt. He looked up at me, smiled, and leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. When we all had each other's blue jeans down around our ankles, we all broke our close group and pulled off our pants and socks. We stood away from each other for a moment, all staring at each other. Matt and I in our briefs, and Tad in his red and green plaid boxers. All of us were showing tents in the middle. "I hate boxers, Tad. Those have to go," Matt said playfully, as he reached over and pulled them down. Tad's dick sprang up, and it was very impressive. At least six inches, maybe seven. "Can I do the same to both of you?" Tad asked bashfully. "Sure," Matt answered. I just nodded. "Thanks," Tad answered, as he attacked us. Matt first. Then me. After that, we all just kind of stared at each other for a few seconds, not sure what to do next. Matt took over. "Tad, lie down over here. I'll show you where I want you to be," he commanded. Tad did as he was told, and Matt laid down across from him and licked the head of his dick. Tad moaned loudly. I didn't have to be told where I should be. The two of them had made two thirds of a triangle, and I was the missing piece. I was glad for a king size bed, as I laid down and completed the triangle. I first licked Matt's head, and then took him into my mouth. I finally felt Tad lick the head of my dick tenuously, then lick more and more, until he also took all of it into his mouth. We went into a very hurried three way suck session. Matt or I couldn't help slow down the pace. Tad was just too eager to go slow. All three of us came almost at the same time. We all just kind of collapsed togther. Well, not quite together. Kind of apart, but still laying close together, with body parts still touching. All of us were very content. When we had all recovered, Tad still had the same big grin on his face, except this time, maybe it was bigger. "That was awesome, guys. Can we reverse it this time, and do it again?" "Sure, Tad. We all need a break now, OK? Just take it easy. Jamie and I aren't going to run off. We are here until Sunday. Just slow down, OK?" Matt asked. "Sure. I just liked that so much. You both can understand that, right?" Tad asked, almost bubbling over in happiness. "Yeah, I know," Matt grinned, as he shifted his body over and kissed Tad. He pulled away, and looked at me and smiled. He motioned for me to join them, and I did. Three way hug, just this time laying down. It wasn't bad. I liked it. "I'm really thirsty. I can't imagine why," Tad said as he finally got up and walked over to his glass. He drank it down in seconds. "You were thirsty," Matt giggled, as he got his drink and also drank deeply. I did the same. "You guys want some more?" Tad asked? "Sure. Let's all go refill our glasses. We need something to do until we can do this again," Matt kidded. I followed both of them down the stairs. Hey, I loved watching boy butts bouncing around. Especially naked boy butts. I followed eagerly. This was turning out to be lots more fun than I had imagined. Tad didn't want Matt, maybe he would want me if Matt and I ever broke up, which we weren't, and I didn't have to worry about that. I didn't have to worry about him stealing my boyfriend anymore, so I liked Tad again. And he did a really good job of sucking me off just a few minutes ago. So, what's not to like? Hehehehe We all got more to drink. We were all naked. We didn't have to be careful that no one saw us anymore. Matt and I were checking out Tad's body and he was checking out ours. Clearly. Out in the open. We all liked what we saw. "Uh, is it OK to say stuff now?", Tad asked. "Sure," Matt said. "Well, you are just lots bigger when you are hard than I thought you would be. I don't know. I have seen you in the shower or dressing, and I thought you would only be like three inches or something," Tad said. "Well, thanks a lot Tad. I guess. When I get hard, I am up to almost five inches now, thanks for asking. Is that a problem? I'm still growing, you know." "No, I just thought that we could talk about anything now. You know, if I had anything I wanted to ask. This is so new to me. Doesn't that make sense?" Tad asked. "Sure it does. You want our opinion, right?" Matt asked. "Sure. You know that." "OK, this is my opinion. I don't remember where I read it, but it makes sense. Your sexuality isn't just straight on one end or gay on the other or bi in the middle. No one is either 100% gay or 100% straight. Nobody gets a perfect grade, if they are completely honest. Everyone who claims to be totally straight has been attracted to someone of their own sex at one time or the other, and every gay person has been attracted to someone of the opposite sex. Sexuality is a sliding scale. If totally straight is at 0, bi at 50, and totally gay at 100, everyone really fits in from 10 to 90. If you are at between 40 and 60, you are bi, maybe even 35 to 65. Anything under 35 and you are considered straight, and anything over 65 is gay. But, there isn't anybody that gets a perfect score. Does that make sense?" Matt asked. "I guess so," Tad answered. "Look, I think lots of boys in our class have at least masturbated with their friends. Probably most of them. They haven't done it to each other, but they do it together. If you read anything about kids going through puberty, all the experts say this is normal. But to me, this is also finding your place on the scale," Matt said. "You've read stuff like this?" I asked. "Yeah. My parents bought a book when Brian was about to start puberty. They made us all read parts of it when we were about 11 or 12. I liked it. I wanted to keep it as a sex book, but they took it away from me," Matt said, as we all laughed. "Have either of you masturbated with someone else?" Matt asked. Both of us blushed hard. Matt just laughed. "See, that's what I was talking about. And when you did it, neither of you had any thoughts that you might be gay, right?" "Not me," Tad said. "Me either," I answered. "OK, tell," Matt commanded. Tad and I looked at each other, and neither of us wanted to be the first to say anything. "Come on Jamie, you have lots more experience than Tad does, even if it is just with me. You go first," Matt said. "Shit!! Ok. My old best friend where I used to live was named Mark. His family went to visit his older cousin's family when he was eleven. He had a thirteen year old cousin, and they slept together for four nights in a row in the same bed. His cousin asked him if he had ever done it before on the first night. Mark said no, and his cousin taught him how. He taught me how as soon as he got back," I answered, blushing fiercely. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody has to learn somehow. How about you, Tad?" Matt asked. Tad blushed, but said, "I learned from an older cousin, too. Remember I told you that my Dad and his brother's family used to share a big house at the beach?" "Yeah, you did that for several years, right?" Matt asked. "Yeah, three years in a row. My cousin was named Andy. He was a year older than I was. We first did it when I was ten and he was eleven. He had learned from an older boy in his neighborhood. He told me how, but I don't remember. We were changing out of our wet bathing suits, which we normally did in the bathroom separately, and he said we both needed to take a shower, so why didn't we do it at the same time? I agreed. He pulled down his bathing suit first, and then I followed. We got in together, and got all soapy, and he reached for me and started pumping. I didn't do anything, and he grabbed my hand and said it was all right, and made me do it to him. We both got hard, and that was the first time I had ever come before," Tad answered. "Did you ever do it with him again?" Matt asked. Tad just smiled. "Once or twice a day, every day, from that point on. We went to the same house for two more years after that. We didn't stop, until his parents got a divorce two years later." "Have you done it with anyone else?" Matt asked. "God, you're getting personal here, aren't you?" Tad asked, as he blushed again. "Hey, after what we just did together, don't you think it's time to know everyone's secrets?" Matt asked, giggling. Tad just laughed with him, and I did too. "You're right. Yeah, with two other guys, Jack Elliott and Sam Stewart," Tad said, blushing again. "You're kidding? You became friends with them after we kind of quit being best friends. Why didn't you ever want to do it with me?" Matt asked. "Well, both of them asked me first. I wanted to ask you, but I could never make myself do it. I was afraid you would think I was queer," Tad said, as we all laughed at that one. "So, do you think either Jack or Sam are queer?" Matt asked. "No way! Why would you even ask that? Both of them are on the football team. They are both already dating cheerleaders. They are as straight as anyone I know," Tad responded. "But both asked you to masturbate with them, right? And do you think they might have been scared you would have thought they were queer, too?" Matt asked. "No, they both just said that they were really horny after we were watching a show on TV in their rooms. They asked me if I ever jerked off, and I said I did. They said everyone did, and did I want to do it together. I don't know what I said, but I agreed, and we pulled down our underwear and did it in bed together," Tad answered. "And you watched each other the whole time, right?" Matt asked with a grin on his face. "Sure. You couldn't help but do that," Tad answered. "And it made you hotter to watch him while you did yourself, right?" Matt asked. "I guess so. Where are you going with this?" Tad asked. "Sliding scale. Just proving my point." "Huh?" Tad asked. "Yeah, you lost me on that, too," I said. "Two very straight boys now, asking another straight boy to masturbate with them. Both boys getting off by watching the other masturbate next to them. Do you think you are the only boy they ever did it with?" Matt asked. "I have no idea," Tad said. "You're right. They're both are very popular. They could have asked ten, maybe twenty boys in their class to spend the night with them, and I'm sure they all would have. They might have done it with all of them. Now, if they did it with ten boys, where would you rate them on the sliding scale?" Matt asked. "Oh, I see what you mean now. Like, they were kind of seducing me, or something." "Sure. One more question. Did you ever do anything more with either of them other than jerk off next to them?" Matt asked. This time, Tad did blush hard. "No." "Oh, come on. I know from your expression that you did. Tell us the truth," Matt said, as he laughed at Tad. "OK. Sam and I jerked each other off a couple of times. Maybe four or five times. He was my best friend after you." "So, Sam slides a few more degrees up the scale. You see what I'm getting at? This is all considered normal growing up behavior by experts. But just decide that you want to continue it beyond a certain point, and you are labeled gay, homo, queer, and everyone hates you if they find out. And, lots of the people that would hate you have done the same thing in their past, and may still be doing it. Kind of fucked up, isn't it?" Matt asked. "Yeah," I agreed. "Jamie, did you and Mark ever do it to each other?" My turn to blush. "Yeah." "How many times?" "I have no idea," I answered quietly. "Lots?" "Yeah." "See, and Jamie can beat up anybody in our school. Maybe, the high school. But, if all three of us come out as gay on Monday, everyone will shun us and make fun of us. I am sure I would get picked on and maybe get beaten up. You two would get picked on, but maybe not get beaten up since you can fight back. This does suck, though, doesn't it?" Matt asked. "Yeah, you're right about that," I answered, finally understanding. "Enough talk for now. Telling you that it does suck has given me a new idea. Anyone want to follow me upstairs?" Matt asked. We both looked at him and saw he was getting hard again. Hey, you can't talk all the time, can you? Tad and I looked at each other, in the eye and lower, smiled at each other, and ran after Matt, who had bolted for the stairs. To be continued. We have our own web site now. Come visit our group at www.gayfreezone.homestead.com. Comments are appreciated and always answered. Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com and are forwarded to a group e-mail account so all the guys can read them too.