Date: Wed, 28 Feb 2001 16:09:29 -0500
From: fsw99 <fsw99@pop.mindspring.com>
Subject: Chapter 4 of Dear Diary

  Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual
acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality.

Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over,
**If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live,
**Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex.

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				DEAR  DIARY

				  By Stan

			       Chapter Four

We climbed the stairs slowly. I had a feeling that something important was
about to happen. I was right.

Matt came in and locked the door. I had a very questioning look on my
face. "Kiss one, OK?" he asked, as he stepped close to me.

"I guess so."

"Do what I do," Matt said, as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to
him.

I also hugged him to me, but noticed we were lots closer to each other's
bodies than we had been in the past. "Jamie, look at me," Matt commanded.

I looked deeply into his eyes, and saw him lower his head and come closer
to my lips. Now or never!!! Should I break our hug, end our very short
friendship, or let him kiss me? I chose kiss. I leaned down and let him
place his lips over mine.

Our other kisses had been little pecks on the mouth. Matt didn't have that
in mind this time, though. He kissed me hard on the mouth! I was surprised,
and tried to force myself away from him, but he held on like a tiger. He
pulled me back towards him, and if anything, just kissed me harder.

A million things were running through my mind. This was wrong!! This was
gay!! This was fun!!!  I liked this, but I also hated it at the same
time. I finally gave in to my hormones, and started kissing him back just
as passionately.

Matt responded by shifting his body and grinding his pelvis into mine,
rubbing our hard dicks together as we kissed. This made me harder than
ever, as my hormones kicked in. No longer was I scared of what people would
say if they found out. I was no longer afraid if what I was becoming. I
think I fell in love with Matt right then.

Matt forced me backwards until the backs of my legs hit the edge of his
mattress. He gently pushed me on my back and came with me, lying on top of
me. This made it easier, and we renewed our mutual grinding against each
other.

Matt finally pulled back, and said "That was kiss one. But, we had better
stop, or we are both going to have messes inside our clothes. I could
change mine quickly, but you wouldn't be so lucky. Now, if we both got out
of our clothes and got back in the same position, we wouldn't have to
worry, and I could continue with kiss two. What do you think?"

My mind was whirling, but I didn't hesitate. "I think we are wasting time
talking about it. Get off of me so I can strip."

Matt just giggled, but got off of me and kicked off his shoes. His socks
came next, as I did the same. I started to take off my shirt, but he
stopped me and said, "You want to undress each other?"

I was a little shocked by what he had said, but then thought quickly about
the idea, and liked it.  "Sure, that's fine with me," I answered, sitting
down on the bed and holding up my arms so he could take off my t-shirt.

Matt walked up with a big grin on his face, and slowly removed my
t-shirt. "Great. I get to go first. Stand back up."

I just returned his smile, got back to my feet and waited. He didn't
hesitate, as his hands went quickly to my waist. He had the front of my
shorts undone in seconds and they fell to the floor.

He started to reach for the band of my briefs, which were sticking way out
in front, and would have felt a lot better being off, but I stopped him. My
shy side came through once again. "Why don't we get even before you get me
completely naked?"

"That's a good idea," he answered, as he raised his hands over his head and
allowed me to take off his t-shirt. When I took it off, he raised up on his
tip toes with his hands on my chest and lightly kissed me on my lips. "That
doesn't count as kiss number two. That is just for enjoying kiss number
one," he kidded.

He stood back grinning at me. I couldn't help myself. I really did love him
now. I picked him up and kissed him hard on the mouth. His feet were
dangling from the floor. He sure didn't seem to mind, as his legs wrapped
around my waist and he hung on like a monkey would.

We broke our kiss, and he pulled back just enough to look me deeply in my
eyes. "What was that for? I thought a few minutes ago you didn't like my
kisses?" he teased.

"Well, I guess you just convinced me that kissing isn't so bad. I did
really like it," I answered, as I smiled at him.

"I really like this position, too. Why don't we get completely undressed
and try it again. If you start, maybe I can save one or two of my kisses
for later," he said seductively.

"I think that would be a great idea. I think you should save both of your
kisses for later. Maybe I will be the aggressor for a change," I answered,
putting him down.

He just giggled as I tore into the front of his shorts. I had them down and
off in seconds. My turn, your turn, who gives a damn? I also pulled down
his briefs with his shorts, and then waited for him to do the same to me.

He sure didn't hesitate. They were down around my ankles in seconds and as
I stepped out of them, he jumped back in my arms and we quickly continued
our kissing. I had my hands under Matt's butt, supporting him in my arms,
which I would have sworn I would have never done before this week started,
but now it seemed perfectly natural.

My arms did start to hurt, so I gently laid Matt down on his back on the
bed, and laid down on top of him. He kept his legs wrapped around my back,
so I started gently pumping back and forth.

Soon, we were both starting to moan, and we broke our kiss as we both
started to get closer to orgasm. Matt was now pumping back against me as
quickly as I was pumping against him. Matt leaned up and started kissing me
again, and that did it for me. I exploded between us, coating both our
stomachs and chest with my cum. Matt wasn't very far behind me, and he
broke our kiss and yelled out as he came.

We were both exhausted, and lay together with him still wrapped around me
for several minutes as we recovered. "Jamie, I hate to ask this, but my
legs are starting to cramp. We are going to have to shift positions or get
up, one or the other," Matt said.

"I guess we had better clean up. We both kind of made a big mess," I said,
getting up off of him.

"Hehehehe Yeah, I guess we did. It was fun, though, wasn't it?" he asked
with a questioning look on his face.

I just smiled back at him. "That wasn't just fun, that was awesome," I
answered.

"I think so, too," Matt replied, as he quickly kissed me once more. "Come
on, let's take a quick shower and clean up. We still have to do our
homework before you have to go home."

I followed him into the bathroom, as he got both of us a clean towel out of
the closet and turned on the shower to let it heat up. While we were
waiting, he came back and pulled me into his arms, kissing me passionately
once more.

It had only been about two minutes since we both came, but I started to get
hard again from Matt's kisses. As he gently moved his body back and forth
against mine, I could tell he was, too.

He finally broke the kiss, gave me a big smile, and opened the shower
door. He grabbed my hand in his and pulled me in after him. We both got wet
under the single shower head and he reached for the soap.

Everything that happened to me so far this week had been a big surprise for
me, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when Matt started to wash my
body instead of his own. He especially got my genitals and small amount of
pubic hair I had soapy, then he handed me the bar of soap.

Now, I'm not an especially smart person, but I didn't have to be told that
he wanted me to wash him too. He just smiled up at me as I repeated what he
had done for me.

We were both fully hard now, and after I had put the soap back in it's
holder in the shower, we both reached for each other at the same time.

It didn't take us long to move our bodies slightly sideways and get into
the perfect position. We were both right handed, so we held each other
close with the left hand over the other's right shoulder, and pumped each
other with the right. This position put us face to face, so we engaged in a
little more of the kissing that I was so loving now.

I had no more worries. I had no more doubts. I loved Matt and I knew he
loved me. We each brought each other close to orgasm several times, only to
back off and let our partner recover slightly. During these times, our
hands were exploring each other's bodies in a way we hadn't done before
now, but this too felt natural and right. I knew both of us were enjoying
our love making.

I felt Matt's left hand slide down to my groin to get soapy, and then felt
it slide over my butt and then between my cheeks. I quickly did the same to
him, and was almost in place as I felt a soapy finger slide into my butt. I
did the same for Matt, and that was all it took for either of us. We came
almost at the same instant and came hard.

We held each other to keep from collapsing in the shower. We were almost
recovered, when Brian and Nate came walking into the bathroom.

"You both had better get out soon, or you are going to be wrinkled like a
prune," Nate said, laughing.

This time, I almost did fall down. If Matt hadn't held me very tightly, I
might have hurt myself. In any case, I blushed a deep red.

"You guys get out of here," Matt yelled. "I don't come in on you guys when
you are taking a shower."

"OK, OK, I was just kidding. Don't get your panties in a wad. Oh, you
aren't wearing any, are you? I just need to take a leak, and then Brian and
I will give you guys your privacy," Nate answered.

I was still very self-conscious, being naked in a shower with another boy
in front of someone I had just met this morning. We both quickly rinsed
off, grabbed our towels, and almost ran back into Matt's bedroom. We could
hear both boys laughing as we slammed the door shut.

"Sorry, I forgot to lock the other door. I share this bathroom with
Brian. Bruce has to use the one in the hall. I thought that Brian would be
at Nate's house after school," Matt said.

"That's OK. They just startled me. Nate won't tell anyone that we were in
the shower together, will he?"

"No, I can guarantee you he won't. Look, I have to tell you something,"
Matt said, as he continued to dry off. He vigorously rubbed his hair with
the towel before continuing. I kind of liked the view it gave me of his
body. Who am I kidding? I loved this view.

"Brian and Nate are boyfriends. So are Bruce and Dave. I am sure Brian and
Bruce have already told them about what the four of us did after school
yesterday by now. They won't tell on us and we can't tell about them."

"They are boyfriends? All of them are gay?"

"Yep. All of them. Me too. I have known I am gay for a long time. I just
haven't found anyone I wanted to be my boyfriend before. Before now, I
guess," Matt said, looking at me with a questioning look on his face.

"What....what....do you mean?" I stammered.

"You know what I mean. I want you to be my boyfriend. I want to be your
boyfriend."

"Mat, I don't know......uhm......well."

"Well what?" he almost yelled.

My head was spinning. I had only known Matt for two days. I really did like
him. OK, I already said I thought I loved him. But boyfriends? That would
be the final nail in my coffin. I would be officially gay. Two days ago I
thought I was totally straight. I just couldn't make myself come out and
say it.

"Matt, I like you a lot. See..."

"You like me? You like me? After what we just did together, you fucking
like me? Well, that's just fucking great. I ask you to be my first
boyfriend, and you tell me you like me. Well, I don't know if I like you
right now. Why don't you put on your fucking clothes and get out of here? I
don't want to see you anymore today." And with that statement, Matt quickly
gathered up all his clothes and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door. I
could hear it lock behind him.

I got my clothes and started putting them on. I was both devastated and
totally confused. I had never seen this violent side of Matt before. I
dressed quickly and walked over to the door. "Matt, please open the
door. We have to talk."

"Don't you understand English? Get the FUCK away from me!!!"

"Can I can you tonight?"

"I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you on the phone, I want
you out of my FUCKING ROOM!!! NOW GO AWAY!!!!" Matt yelled through the
door.

Tears sprang to my eyes, but what could I do? Matt wouldn't talk to me, so
the only thing I could do was leave like he wanted me to do. I guess our
friendship was over after only two short days.

I sat down long enough to put on my shoes and socks. I could hear Matt
crying through the door.  I had to try one more time. I walked over and
said, "Matt, I am going to go now. Can't we please talk this over before I
go?"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" he screamed.

I couldn't take it. I ran from the bathroom door, right into the arms of
Brian, who had stepped out in the hall.

"What's up with him?" Brian asked.

"He is just really mad at me right now. I don't want to talk about it," I
said, as I tried to force my way past him. Nate was right beside him, and
between the two of them, forced me into Bruce's room across the hall.

Brian forced me to sit down on Bruce's bed and both Brian and Nate sat down
on each side of me. Nate even put his arm around me, as I silently cried.

"What happened?" Brian asked.

I finally looked up at him, and noticed for the first time he didn't have
his shirt on. I quickly glanced down, and saw he was totally naked, sitting
next to me, and semi-hard. I couldn't help myself, I quickly looked over at
Nate and saw he was as naked as Brian. I looked up and caught his eyes, and
knew he had caught me looking at him. I blushed crimson, which caused him
to start to snicker. I looked back at Brian, and he was also starting to
laugh.

"Don't be embarrassed. It is normal to look. We were just having a little
fun, when we heard Matt yelling. I like to look at Nate, so why wouldn't
you? He really is awesome," Brian said, as he leaned across me and kissed
Nate quickly on the mouth. "I told Nate all about what the four of us did,
and he is fine with it. Now, tell me what the problem is."

"I....well....uh....Matt....he asked me.....he asked me to be his
boyfriend," I stammered.

"So? What is the big deal about that?" Nate asked.

"But....well....that would make me.....uhm....."

"Oh, so you're having a hard time believing you are gay, is that it?" Brian
asked.

How had he guessed so easily? I looked up and looked him in the
eye. "Yeah."

"Nate and I went through the same thing not long ago. Nate thought he
really loved a girl he had met from Texas. Her name was Sue. We fought for
a while about that, and you know what? We finally decided that we loved
each other too much to just give up what we have. If he had continued with
Sue as more than a friend, it would have driven a wedge between us that
neither of us thought we could ever repair, and we just fell more in love
than before. Honestly, it was the best thing that could have ever happened
to us. So, you just aren't ready to tell anyone you are gay, is that it?
Not even us?" Brian asked.

"I don't know. Before I came over here after school on Monday, the thought
had never crossed my mind. I don't know what to think. I don't think I am
really gay, though," I answered.

"Well, I think we can find out for sure. Nate, stand up a minute, OK?"
Brian asked.

Nate had a questioning look on his face, but stood up in front of me. I
couldn't help myself. I had to look. He was big. VERY big. Even semi-hard.

Brian walked over and said, "Nate, I love you more every day we are
together. I don't know why a great looking guy like you loves me, but I
thank God every night for that." He then leaned over, pulled Nate to him,
and they kissed passionately, right in front of me. I just stared at them
with my mouth open.

"Brian, you know why. I know you are just doing this for Jamie's sake, so I
will tell you what you want to hear. I don't just love you just for your
body, even though it is beautiful to me. You are so stupid at times,
worrying about how you look, compared to me. I love you for who you are. I
love you for what is inside you. I love the real Brian. The one who is
loving, sweet, kind, funny.  You have so much talent, more than I could
ever have. I love the whole package. The whole you.  Is that what you
wanted me to say?" Nate asked.

Brian just smiled at him, and pulled him close. They kissed again, long and
hard. Speaking of hard, I was getting that way just watching the two of
them. Brian and Nate finally pulled apart, and both stood directly in front
of me. They too had both grown hard, and neither was ashamed of standing in
front of me this way.

Nate wasn't just hard. He was HUGE!!! He must have been over seven
inches. Probably seven and a half. I just stared, with my mouth open.

Nate didn't say anything, but Brian broke up laughing. "Yeah, it is
something, isn't it? I can tell by your expression what you think. I can
also tell that if you aren't gay, I will eat the bedspread you are sitting
on. I know we have thrown a whole lot at you in just two days. I also think
that you and Matt should be together. You have a lot of thinking to
do. Both of us will talk to Matt for you. He has a really bad temper at
times. Come over and walk to school with us tomorrow, OK? Let Matt have
some time to cool off, and everything will be fine tomorrow. OK?"

I looked at him and finally smiled. "Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks." I got
up and he pulled me to him and hugged me. It felt good to be hugged. When
he let me go, Nate did the same thing.

"One thing, though. I don't mind if Nate hugs you, but he is mine. OK?"
Brian laughed.

I looked at Nate, who had started to go down, but not by much. I blushed
again. "OK," I said weakly. Both of them cracked up with laughter.

They both followed me downstairs, totally naked, and didn't seem to think
anything about it. My head, big head, that is, was really spinning. They
seemed so natural together, always touching, loving each other, even if we
were just walking to the door. I almost forgot my school books, and had to
run back to get them.

Did I want what they had? If so, I had to recognize that I was GAY!!!!
GAY!!!! Could I do that?  Would I do that?

They didn't exactly come out on the front porch and wave to me as I walked
off. That might have caused a scene out front. They did both hug me at the
door. They both told me that they loved me. I was touched. I had a warm
feeling inside of me. I knew they didn't love me like they did each other,
but loved me just the same.

I had grown up in a house where I knew my parents loved me, but the word
love was never spoken. I couldn't remember my Dad ever saying he loved
me. Not once!

Now, Brian, who I have known for two days, and Nate, who I have known for 1
day, both say they love me!!! That, in itself, totally blew my mind. And
because of it, I loved them back. I couldn't tell them that yet, but I
promised myself that I would.

IF!!!

If I was ever going to come over here anymore, because Matt was my friend.

Once I left their house, I walked slower than normal on the way back to my
house. I didn't notice much around me as I walked. I was deep in
thought. Long walks with nothing to distract you can be good at times, you
know?

To be continued.

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