Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 17:07:36 -0800
From: Cole Parker <colepark@gmail.com>
Subject: 8th Grade, Chapter 7

The following is a work of fiction, entirely a product of my imagination.
Though I wish I'd known these characters, I have only in my head.
This story will contain some sex between consenting partners.  Both
partners will be boys.  Please read no further if that offends you,
or if it is illegal to do so.  Following the rules is the best bet for
everyone in the long run.

This story will not contain a lot of sex, but what is consistent with
the thrust of the story and the personalities of the characters.  I realize
you've been waiting patiently.  Don't fret-- it is coming.

I would like to thank Chris for his good suggestions and support and
keeping me grounded.

Any remarks can be addressed to: Cole Parker <colepark@gmail.com>


				 8th Grade

				 Chapter 7


My dad called me into the living room after Brad had left.  Mom had already
gone to bed.  I sat down on the couch next to his wheelchair.

"Danny," he said, "I'm glad you had Brad over.  You two sounded like you were
having so much fun together.  I haven't heard you laugh like that for ages.  It
made my heart happy.  You need to spend time with kids your own age, not so
much with me and your mother or alone.  You'll never know how much we
appreciate the sacrifices you've made for us, but you need to be a kid.  Brad
seems so nice, and he sounds like he's known you for years, the way you joke
together.   That's so good.  But, what I also hear is something in your voice
when you talk to him, something that I haven't heard before."

He stopped talking, obviously wanting me to respond to his line of thought
without him having to ask too much, and I didn't know what to say.  I was
always honest with him, which is why we were so close.  You start hiding things
from people, especially important things like your feelings, and you just can't
be as close with them as if you're honest.  The problem was, I wasn't sure just
what I felt.  But then, I thought, isn't that what having a good friend was
for, wasn't it to have someone to bounce things off, to get advice from, to get
support?  I trusted him to be on my side.  So, I said to myself, 'the hell with
it, let's get this over with,' and I just started talking.

"Dad, you heard right.  I like Brad, I like him a lot.  I mean, I haven't had a
friend my age for a couple years and having him to share things with is great.
Being able to spend time with him and be around him is making me feel better
about things than I've felt for a long time.   His presence seems to let me
release pressure I didn't ever realize I had in me.   But also, I'm feeling
things when I'm with him, even when I just think about him, that I've never
felt before, and I'm not sure what they mean.  I'm a little confused, a little
scared, but also very excited.   It's a little difficult to even talk to you
about this because I haven't figured it out in my own head yet."

Dad was looking at me, well, his head was focused in my direction, and he was
listening intently.  Now, he reached his hand out and grasped mine.  "Danny,"
he said softly, compassionately, "you're thirteen.  At that age everything is
new and confusing.  You'll have crushes on your friends, on people you see at
school that you don't even know but who look good to you.  You'll see a girl
toss her head, flip her pony tail, and you'll fall in love.  You'll see a cute
boy stoop to pick up a pencil he dropped and somehow the way he looks doing it
will almost overwhelm you.  This isn't anything for you to worry about.  You
should enjoy it!  It's fun, being enthralled with the beauty and vitality of
life around you.  These crushes are wild and exciting and the boy you fall in
love with today will mean nothing to you tomorrow.  The girl who gets you hot
and bothered tomorrow with her looks will speak to you the day after and you'll
fall out of love with her the second you come in contact with her brain."

He paused, thought for a second, then continued.  "I think what you're saying
to me is you have feelings for Brad, romantic feelings?"  I started to nod,
then said softly, "yes.  He nodded.  "It's probably scary thinking you might
have feelings for Brad that go beyond mere friendship.  But don't be scared.
Be his friend.  Spend as much time with him as either of you want to spend.
What happens happens.  You'll either both feel an attraction that will build,
or one or both of you will only want to be friends.  Maybe great and lifelong
friends, maybe just good friends.  Things have a way of settling themselves,
of changing with time.  But don't be afraid of life.  Don't be afraid to
experience the highs and even the lows that it has for you.  If you're afraid
to put yourself in a place where these things can happen, you're denying
yourself the chance to live.  You like Brad a lot.  You just said so.  So why
would you be afraid to spend time with him and get to like him even better, if
that's what happens?"

Well, I thought, here goes.  "But Dad, what if that means, well, might that
mean I'm gay?  What if the attraction does grow, and we feel the same way about
each other.  What then?"

"That might happen.  Sure, it could.  Or you might not fall in love
with him but
simply strengthen your friendship.  Would either one of those things be a
tragedy?  Wouldn't it be more of a tragedy to either deny yourself the chance
to be happy or not have the chance to grow into a deep friendship because
you're afraid of what never might happen?  Being gay isn't something you can do
anything about, but living a happy and full life is something you can either
strive for or avoid through fear.  I don't want to see you avoiding life
because you're afraid of how messy it might be or for some other equally absurd
reason."

I leaned over a hugged my father, hard, and just held onto him for a minute.
"Dad, thank you," I eventually almost whimpered.  "You have no idea what that
means to me.  You're there for me, and I really needed that right now.  You're
right, I'm scared, scared of a lot of things.  The kids at school, my own
feelings, whether Brad will get tired of me, how complicated this is going to
be, whether I'll even feel the same next week.  But one fear I won't have now
is that you'll be upset or disappointed.  Thanks.  You're just the best.  I
love you, Dad."

"Me too, Danny.  Hey, I want you to tell Brad tomorrow you'll spend Friday
night with him, and you have the best time you can with him.  He wants to be
your friend; you can hear it in the way he talks to you.  Let him be.  OK,
that's enough advice for tonight.  The office is closed.  Now, how
about a dish of ice cream?"


                                          ---()---


The next day at school, Brad met me by my locker.   I told him I could spend
the night Friday and he got a huge smile on his face.  "That's great, Danny!
It'll be cool!  What time can you be over there?"

"Well, actually, if you want, I could come home after school with you and eat
there too.  It'll save your parents a trip driving over to my house to get me.
My dad says he'll have some Chinese food delivered when mom comes home and I
should just go enjoy myself.  Is that OK?  I don't want to invite myself or
anything."

"No, that's wonderful!  I can hardly wait till tomorrow!  I have to watch the
team's practice scrimmage right after school, but if you want to come to that
with me, my mother can drive us home after that.  How does that sound?  This is
great!"

I had a hard time keeping from laughing at his enthusiasm, and then,
remembering
my father's message, thought, why not laugh?  So I did, he looked at me and
grinned sheepishly and got this warm look in his eyes I couldn't quite
comprehend, and I told him, "Works for me.  I'll bring my stuff to school in a
gym bag and be ready to go when you are."

And that's what we did.  That's how I ended up spending the night with
Brad Decker.