Date: Thu, 11 May 2017 17:57:11 +0000 From: Danny writing <danny2017writing@outlook.com> Subject: Even If We Tried - Part 10 The regular warnings apply as always, and please do consider a little charity for nifty's awesome service. *** Feedback would be very appreciated, if you would like to send me an email. I'd love to hear everyone's opinion as all feedback is read; and I do try and reply to all of them also. I want to say a particular thank you to hunter, the writer of Open Hearts. He is an amazing writer and friend; so, thank you for the help and feedback. Do check out his amazing story. I wish to thank all the fellow readers for sticking with me and the couple of good friends I have made. Please don't alter or reproduce my work without first contacting me. These following words are in the story; and people may not be familiar with them. Banter - the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks. If anyone is interested there is a soundtrack for every chapter I have written of the story. The songs below are the songs I used while writing this chapter. In order of the scenes; I have included ***** in the story where each segment of the music ends and the new music begins. Almost Over by Aquilo - Song 1 Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars - Song 2 Kill Em With Kindness - Acoustic Version by Selena Gomez - Song 3 Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers - Song 4 Moon by Sleeping At Last - Song 5 Somewhere In Between by August Wilhelmddon - Song 6 In The Last Chapter: The events of the last chapter have left poor Sams head in a awkward place. Ethan is not talking to him, because he maybe jealous and Austin is trying to to further there relationship. Sam feels a little trapped in his everyday life, and now with Nash on the horizon everything is about to go sour; Find out in this chapter of Even If We Tried. Even If We Tried - part 10 ****************************** Song 1: Almost Over by Aquilo ****************************** Sent: "Ethan, I'll stop being friends with Austin if you'll talk to me." I knew I was lying of course, but I did want Ethan to talk to me, so I figured a little white lie as mom called it; wouldn't hurt all that much, considering what was going on. Received: "Leave me alone!" That was the last message I had sent to him. He hadn't bothered to try and message me since yesterday. I think the word was getting around the school, because I was getting quite a few messages from people who were saying "congratulations Sam or is it true Sam, that your gay." It was getting out of control and I could not quarantine the problem. It was like a disease that was living on my back and I couldn't shake it off. It was just there and had no purpose other than to ridicule me; 'I wondered how Austin put up with it the first time it happened to him.' Then I remembered I'm not the only one in this predicament and I messaged him that morning and made arrangements to walk into school together. If we were going to be ridiculed at least let us show our dignity and face it head on. After I showered, I headed down for breakfast, it was the quietest breakfast I had ever had. My mom didn't really speak much this morning which was weird too, but she did down three cups of coffee since I got up, so maybe she was suffering from some sort of exhaustion. Gloating from the kitchen table I washed my bowl out and left it on the draining board. Giving mom a hug I then slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed out the patio door and wheeled my bike out to the front. Doing the same ritual as every day, I hopped on and cycled for school. Arriving at school I dismounted at the curb side and pushed my bike into a free slot in the bike rack. Digging into my bag for the bike lock, I put it around the wheel and through the frame of my bike and onto the mount of the bike rack just like any other day. When I finished zipping my bag up, I heard Austin say "Good Morning." Come to think I was getting used to hearing his voice; so much so that I recognised it without even having look at him. It was the little details that drove me crazy about this boy. I know I couldn't exactly give him up, but I wanted to try and win my friend back. There was only two other people; I could honestly say that I knew their voices without having to look at them. One being my mom of course and the other being Ethan. I had spent a great deal of time when I was younger with Ethan, so it was a natural thing to know his voice. Although I spent quite the amount of time with my little sister, I guess you could say I sort of knew her voice, but I wasn't as clued on it as the most important ones. Turning around to Austin I gave him and smile and a small wave as I strode away from the bike rack and waddled over towards him. Slipping my backpack strap onto my shoulder I now stood in front of him. It was then that he said in a sarcastic but soft tone. "Do you have a sore throat or something?" It was a weird question but then I realised that I never said good morning back to him so I quickly caught on. "Oh... I'm sorry your lordship. Good Morning" I stated dryly. He gave a soft smile and then looked down at the pavement and then caught my gaze. "How are you today?" He asked with sincerity. I thought about telling him how yesterday went. I mean it didn't exactly go the way I wanted it; but I guess it was going to be the best I was going to get for now, or possibly forever. 'That is kinda sad I thought, what if I'm losing Ethan forever.' It would be something that I could get over, sure. But it would all be new to me because I would be navigating in an unknown fog without him. Just without him things are a little cloudy in my life; 'like seriously where's the sunshine. It's depressing down here.' Snapping out of my trance I became aware of Austin eyeing me up with curiosity. Pointing for the school building the both of us started to break into a small walk. I jumbled the thought's around in my head and contemplated about how to start this conversation. Once I reached my conclusion I slowly braced myself for the muddled mess I was about to try and embark on. "Well, I tried talking to Ethan yesterday after school... I don't think he wants anything to do with me anymore. I mean I said sorry a couple of times. I even said that I would play Lacrosse with him. I don't know what else to do." There was a subtle pause from Austin as we reached the front door. I pulled open the glass door for him to go first. It felt like the natural thing to do. I guess I'm not what you call a proper gentleman, but I do have manners I guess. Watching Austin slip through the open door, I then shifted the palm of my hand to the middle of the steel framing and slipped though it myself. Then Austin said with his right eyebrow arched and coy smile. "You got Lacrosse?" He asked with a content and merry ring to it. He was certainly happy compared to the last couple of days. It was like his mood had completely shifted and it was not like how he had been acting previously. I found it both weird and intriguing at the same time. Heading down the semi busy hallway, I looked around in hopes that Ethan was here. I just wanted to see him. That would make me feel at ease. But for the meantime I decided to get back to Austin's question. Digging deep into my thoughts I became aware that I had told Austin about me getting Lacrosse. I also noticed that a couple of people were looking at us as we passed them; 'it was such a negative stigma. Can I not even walk with someone without being judged; it's ridiculous. I contemplated about the day I'd leave this scandalous place.' Playing around with the thoughts in my head I tried to wrap my brain around what everyone's problem was... "Are you there?" Austin teasingly mocked. Coming back to reality, I turned to him and gave him a soft smile. Looking over at him I found myself admiring the life size puppy in front of me. I mean literally he was cuter than a puppy. But that's the only way I can say how cute he really was. His small snub nose and brown eyes were so dreamy, this was made clearer by his freshly washed and soft ruffled hair that fell into place on his forehead and below his ears. He was so kissable, but then the ambient noise of mumbling faded the soft silence away and was replaced with talking, laughter and slamming locker doors. "Em... Eh... Yeah" I quickly shot back trying to show that I was actually listening. "Really?, then what did I say?" He knowingly mocked, as he gave a toothy smile. Blushing I shrugged my shoulders and decided to go with the casual approach. "Em... Gay stuff" I sarcastically teased. He sniggered and gave me and playful push, as we stopped beside my locker. "No seriously" He asked with all joking aside. "You said something about Lacrosse, right?" I asked hoping that he was actually talking about sports. He gave a slight nod in agreement and then started walking towards his locker. Stopping in front of my locker, I gave the dial a few twists and entered my combination. The locker door was getting old and stiff so I had to push up on the handle as I opened it, this was the only way to get it to budge. I gave it a firm yank and the locker opened without a problem. "So how come you didn't tell me?" Austin asked while he stood at his locker. Rummaging in my cuby-hole, I found my coursework that I needed to submit and then leaned slightly out from the locker to look at him. "I'm sorry; it never crossed my mind. Besides I'm doing Baseball with you." Sighing on the inside I thought I was free from further interrogation but I guess that would have been wishful thinking. He turned and looked in my direction and said "Yeah your right, but it would have been cool to know that you got both." I felt a little agitated by his comment, I mean did he have to know every little thing I did. I know it was not that big of a problem, so why was he digging into it. I was now conflicting with my decision. I'm probably becoming a narky or impatient person; I like have a low estimate for bullshit now. Not that; that is a bad thing or anything but it would probably make me unapproachable right. Who am I fooling, I'm already unapproachable so what would be the difference. 'What if me and Ethan started talking again; would that make things worse or better. Like right now I'm not talking to him which is annoying and driving me insane; but what if we never talked again. Would it be unfair to say that I'd have that free time to do whatever I wanted? I know that free time would be cool, but it's never that appealing for that long, like it's maybe cool for a couple of weeks or months but when it finally gets to years it would be very lonely. Sure, I'd have Austin, and as much as he is perfect in every little way, I don't think I could be around him all the time. I mean I like doing my own thing sometimes. Austin has really helped me see some things for what they really are; I maybe blind sometimes, but he has taught me to see the bigger picture. Sighing, I admitted to myself silently that I would be honest to Austin from here on, he at least deserved that much. "I promise, I'll tell you everything from now on." I stated softly and locking eyes with him. He gave a bashful smile and a small nod and then continued to do his thing at his locker. I decided that I had everything I needed for the day, and opted to run to the bathroom while I waited for Austin to finish with his business. Closing my locker door, I rotated the lock dial and turned to gawk at Austin. I then thought about what had happened with the bully in the hallway yesterday and I had second thoughts of leaving him; but my doubts where extinguished when Ms. Campbell took her post in the middle of the corridor and stood there like most Wednesday mornings and observed that there was no messing going on. Deciding to throw a little humour into the equation I stated with a merry ring to it. "Austin I need to take a shit." He turned to me and cracked a smile before throwing his head back and started a hearty chuckle. I think that moment got to him because he started going weak at the knees and I watched him try calm himself before he decided to respond. He went to speak, "Alri..." He managed to get out before erupting back into another fit of laughing. I then had the sudden urge to go the big toilet as was nearly ready to explode. I really needed to go, I then started slowly trudge; backing away from Austin. **************************************** Song 2: Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars **************************************** "I really need to go, I'll catch up with you in class." I mocked, flushed with embarrassment. He closed his locker and laughed and finally said "Alright, if your more than thirty minutes, I'll send out a search party." Cracking a smile at his sarcasm I turned and headed for the bathroom. I pushed open the door impatiently for the cubicle and locked it quickly behind me. I then coated the toilet seat in layers of toilet paper, unhitched my belt buckle and sat down. While I was sitting on the toilet I heard a couple of people come and go, the toilet door opened a few times and was accompanied by the swift banging of it hitting the wall behind the door or the ruffling sound it made before it closed, and returned the bathroom to silence. I heard a conversation between two people about one of them having to redo thier driving test for their licence. But other than that, they soon exited as I began wiping you know where. Once I had finished, I pulled my pants back up and redid my belt; when I heard the door open again and then close shortly behind it. Unlocking the bathroom door, I went for the sink bank and pressed the facet for a flow of water. Rinsing my hand under the lukewarm water, I turned to the paper towel dispenser when I noticed a boy standing at the urinals on the far end of the bathroom. I could swear it was Ethan, but I didn't want to say anything, again panic set in as I thought it could have been him. I mean I've spent so long with him you'd think I'd know him when I saw him. Pushing forward for the paper towels, I tried not to look at the boy I thought was Ethan and reached for the dispenser. He then shook himself and I pulled for the paper from the fixture when the boys' head shifted positioned and looked over his right shoulder. It was Ethan, but as quick as he looked he was shocked that it was me, he hadn't planned to be in an isolated area with me. He quickly returned his gaze to the front and zipped himself before turning around and walking for the sinks and completely bypassing me. He pressed down on the facet and washed his hands. He stopped as soon as he seen that I was right beside the towel dispenser and after couple seconds he sat back on the counter and sighed. "Are you going to talk to me?" I asked in a moment of hope. He kept his head bowed and directed forward towards the cubical, and tried to say uncomfortably. "I know Sam; about... you know" He uttered in a gentle but diminished voice. I thought about what he could have possibly been referring to; I had a good idea that he was talking about me being gay. I of course denied it. "You only know what I want you to know!" I asserted. "I know everything, you don't want me to know." He confirmed with his suspicion, and declared it bluntly. I felt quite small on the spot, I couldn't deny what I was; and if Ethan could sense it then there was no telling him otherwise. I felt a soft whimper come from inside of me and I mumbled as I steered at the floor in humiliation. "I can't change, I want to; but I can't." I then sensed Ethan take a step forward and place his wet hand on my shoulder, through my sniffling; I heard him blunder his way thought the next sentence, "Sam...," He said gravely "I... em;" He then sighed and leaned in and chickened out; he gave me a small peck on my cheek. I froze in the sudden heat of the moment. He then leaned back and became a little flushed, but he didn't say anything. His kiss was soft, it wasn't wet like Austin's, it was nice but it felt weird at the same time. But then the door for the bathroom opened again, and in walked two students. That's when Ethan lightly shoved me and I hit the paper dispenser behind me. "What the fuck, faggot!" He shouted while he turned and scrambled towards the door, all I could do was blink from shock. The students looked at me as I licked my lips and slowly stumbled towards the door and pulled open the heavy wooden fixture and started walking for my English class. Navigating around desks, I sat down beside Austin and he teasingly said "I thought you fell down the toilet." "Nooo" I said with almost no enthusiasm in it. Then our English teacher arrived and she began with the lesson, as I went about the morning from class to class the current replay of events aired in my brain on a loop, that really hurt. Ethan had really hurt me, but why did he kiss me, I'm confused like seriously. Why would he do that and then say something like that, it didn't make any sense at all. Ethan sat across the classroom, he had moved his position today. I think he felt a bit embarrassed and bad for what had happened because every time he would occasionally glance over at me his eyes would wander all around the classroom and stop on me with this saddened expression. I wondered if this was nearly over, because I know that we're not who we used to be anymore. I gave Ethan all my time, all my trust and honesty. I was pretty much reliant on him, and I think between the morning and lunch time something just clicked. I got a sudden feeling that I was almost under water, like drowning. so, I have to breathe I have to make myself be heard. I didn't want to feel like I was drowning anymore. I waited for the moments on the clock to tick forward as it neared lunch. When the bell chimed, everyone shot up as the teacher shouted out over the class and mentioned about assignments that where due. I could see from the side of my peripheral vision that Ethan just vacated the classroom as quick as he could. I waited for Austin to pack up his things and the two of us made our way to the cafeteria. We both cued at the lunch counter and then made our way to an empty table. Placing the tray on the table I unhitched the straps of my school bag and tossed it under the table, in the same motion Austin did the same and then we both slid into the table at the same time. *********************************************************** Song 3: Kill Em With Kindness - Acoustic Version by Selena Gomez *********************************************************** Sitting at the table I wanted to eat, but I couldn't. I had a clear view of the traitors. They were eating and all seemed so content. Ethan had seemed to have livened up a little since this morning and was starting to smile and that was slowly starting to eat away at me. How could people be so susceptible to changing moods; there was seriously something wrong with them. I mean that can't be normal, can it? But then it just got to a point where I couldn't take any more of these mind games they were playing. I think Austin could sense it, but then it became evident when I shot up from the table. Anger brewed deep down and I charged over to the table where they all sat. Towering above Ethan; I gave Nash a sinister looking glare until he felt so uneasy that he broke eye contact with me and the entire table's banter subsided. Ethan turned around and squinted up at me out of curiosity and become uneasy once he had seen it was me. He quickly dipped his head down at his lap out of disappointment until Nash stated sarcastically "Do you want something?" Fuming from annoyance; I was not really in control with what was going to come next. I just saw my opening and I decided to lay the rules of law down for everyone to understand. Stating back in a sour tone I said "I'm just here to say how everything really is." Everyone looked down at the table except for Nash who looked baffled at the amount of balls I must have been showing to confront him, he thought he was this untouchable character up there because he was rich, he pretended to be nice but he was no different from any of the clich‚ school bullies. He was just someone who thought he could abuse his power however he saw fit, but I was about to shoot him down from that high pedestal he was flying high on. "Starting with you Nash; You're a manipulative, confused bisexual with nothing to bring to the table other than poisonous words and your daddies wallet. Deep down you're a prick; Unworthy of anybody's trust and you're a callous human being, to be able to be to operate normally after treating your cousin like that." I then turned to Blake as I was now clearly ready for a spree of complete honesty. "And you Blake; You were supposed to be my friend. I thought you'd be better than that, to believe whatever an unstable individual could tell you, was true without even looking into it. I never thought you could turn out to hate gay people considering your dads just got married." Lastly, I shifted my position to Ethan who had a slumped posture below me and looked frightened to death of what I was about to say. "And what was that, if you cared you wouldn't have done what you did this morning, especially after; you know... I've known you all my life, we went everywhere together and spent every day together in the summer. I broke my arm when I fell from that bridge our hideout was under; do you remember coming to my rescue, just like the time I had your back when you got in a fight with Brice Hartwell. He hit you and I took him clean off his feet for doing that, did that not mean anything to you. I then looked around the table and directed my anger at everyone that was sitting in front of me, none of them dared to say a word, and Austin was just frozen beside me, at some point he must had followed me over and he couldn't bring himself to say something either. "If you have a problem with me and Austin; Don't go behind my back, if you want to fuck with someone have the decency to do it to their face. Half the people at this table are fudgepackers, so what the fuck is the problem. Just grow up. Finishing my rant, I felt Austin's small hand on my shoulder as he tried to guide me away from the table, but I felt that I hadn't gotten everything out of my system. Just as I had started to turn I stopped and took a step back towards the table, towards Nash. I sucked all my saliva into the centre of my mouth and spat at him across the table. My spit landed on the top corner of his nose and started rolling down the side of his nose and into his right eye. He just sat there as he wiped away the spit with his hand and I coldly stated "That was for Austin!" With that I turned and started navigating with Austin, back to our table. The cold screech of metal, tunnelled through room, not long after I heard a faint bang from behind me. Turing around with a gut feeling that Nash was getting up, I spun around and seen Nash trying to get through the narrow passage between his table and the table that was nearest to him. I thought that was it, I was going my first black eye in school from a flower-power. But before he could get any further Blake and Ethan clung onto his jacket and arm to stop him from making his way to me. "Your dead Twomey!" He declared. I ducked below the table I was sitting at, still fuming and gripped onto my school bag and made a break for the cafeteria door with Austin and didn't bother to look back. I was surprised that no teacher had caught me, but I was sure that I would hear something soon, I knew I would. We headed out into the courtyard and went through the small archway and decided to take a walk around the school to cool down. I was content walking along with Austin. He was all I needed for support; fuck Ethan, that's right, fuck all of them. They were getting on my case, I want to just be me, and show Austin that I was okay with how everything was between us, and more importantly that I valued the ground he walked on. A couple of minutes of fresh air, clear blue skies and sunshine was all it took to change and heighten my mood. It almost felt that Summer was here with the high temperature that it was reaching today. It was even better spending time with someone who understood me and I knew that I was not going to be bullied because of it. Walking on the tarmac path around the school building, Austin finally broke the silence by saying with a burst of energy that he obviously could not contain any longer. "Well, that was awesome." Looking over at him with the school building as a backdrop I smiled at him; but then I knew deep down that I didn't help anything along in the matter. It seemed like a good idea at the time but I knew it would surface problems later on. Letting out a sigh I shrugged my shoulders and said with uncertainty "Really; I don't think I made the situation any better." He just let out a scoffed laugh and lively said "Screw 'em, they deserved it." Nobody else was around us and it was becoming a peaceful stroll with just him and nobody else. "Maybe" I added as I just looked down at the tarmac that had flakes of the freshly cut grass across it. Then he came back again with an animated gesture as he re- enacted the motion of me spiting at Nash. "That spit though." he retorted, before chuckling and showing his sweet smile. I felt somewhat at ease because of his care free nature and I guess that was all it took for me to smile about what had happened. I gave us a voice, maybe not the voice I was expecting but I defiantly said something. "Yeah; did you see it rolling down his face" I then erupted into a phlegmy laugh as I struggled to clear my throat. For a couple of minutes everything was quiet and nothing was said until Austin came back with a question. "Em Sammy?" Austin gently asked. "Yeah Aussy" I added as I looked around us. "Nawh! That nickname won't work" He returned, with a serious sounding tone. Looking over at him I broke into a small chuckle because his face expressed a quizzical expression, but his voice suggested a serious nature. He then thought for a second before proceeding. "Call me your precious" He wittily replied as he increased his vocal registry when he got the 'Precious'. It appeared that he was trying to imitate Gollum from The Lord of The Rings. Smiling at his choice of words and effort at Gollum. I then tried my hand at imitating Gollum myself. "Okay, my precious. What do you want?" He gave a light chuckle after I tried to copy him and then bluntly stated "Em... what did you mean with Ethan, about this morning?" I never had thought about this and never thought about telling him. It wasn't like I was hiding it from him, I just never got the chance to process it, but since I made him a promise to be honest with him, and if I was, well, dating him, I'd tell him the truth. Actually, come to think of it, what are we? Are we a couple or are we friends or just friends who really like each other? I have the balls to stand up to Nash and risk my reputation, but I can't ask a boy I like if he is my boyfriend. It will stay that way until I can figure out how to bring that up in a conversation. I want to be able to escape if I don't feel comfortable. "Ah-ha, yeah that" I bashfully cried on the inside. Figuring out where to start I decided to start after I came out of the toilet. "Well, when I went to the bathroom. I met him when I was coming out of the toilet to wash my hands. I didn't know it was him at first, but I had a gut feeling that it was him if that makes sense. No pun intended." I mocked to inject some humour into the moment, but he didn't really laugh at it, I guess my jokes are really that bad. We kept on walking towards the front of the school building as we were about halfway around the building at this point. "But anyway, once I saw that it was him, I asked him if he was talking to me; while I was drying my hands. A couple of seconds passed without him saying anything to me and then he suddenly had one of his hands on my shoulder. I told him that I was gay, but he didn't really react, he just stood there. I thought he was going to say it was okay and everything would be fixed, but then he leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek that was totally unexpected. I didn't know what to do, I mean he has never done anything like that before, so I just kinda froze I guess." Austin was looking at me with a serious glare; all the giddiness was gone and he asked with a hint of suspicion "A peck." I felt my heart sink. I looked at him with expressive eyes. I was like please let me finish. "I'm being honest; please." I asked nervously and cautiously before continuing. He gave me a weak smile, but it was enough to reassure me that he was not mad at me, yet. "Okay continue" He stated as he smiled a wider smile. "Before I could get a word in to ask what that was for or why he did it, the bathroom door opened and two other boys came in." "And..." Austin cut in clearly getting inpatient. "He pushed me away and shouted what the fuck faggot and stormed off." He was still listening closely and he let me get what I had to say off my chest. "Then I returned to class and you asked did I fall down the shitter." Austin then smiled a white toothed grin at that and I knew that he was just listening to what I had to say and that he was not angry at me. The crinkles under his eyes become prone when he smiled and that was one indicator to me that he was content deep down considering he had such a baby face. He then sheepishly said "So you didn't like; kiss him back." I was definitely a little surprised by the frankness of his question; it was a little worrying to think, that in the future would he jump to conclusions before I've reached an evaluation even. Shaking my head at his question I said in an earnest manner that I had nothing to hide "No..., why would I, he's a jerk. Besides I have a precious." He then smiled at my honesty and I felt relieved for getting over that obstacle. "Thanks for not lying; it means a lot" he said as his expression told me a sincere apology for having jumping to conclusions. "I promised, remember" I said knowingly. "I know it just means a lot to me though." He said again looking at me proudly. "And you where em... pretty cute; when you got annoyed" He said with a subtle but flirty tease to his statement. I did feel myself starting to blush; I think he could see it and started to blush himself. I could feel the heat of the moment rise between the both of us and quickly shot back "No... never." "Eh; yeah totally" He said as he bobbed his head up and down indicating that his word was the only word I should be accepting. Feeling the butterflies in my stomach flutter and the blushing intensify I said "You're the cute one." Teasingly, he coyly returned the response to me "Nawh you are." He then curled his bottom lip out into a small pout and declared "I'm always right." Just then he gave me a playful dig on the upper part of my left arm. Flinching from the impact I quickly shot back "Oh! That hurt." He gave a hearty chuckle before replying back wittily "Good; now shut up and look cute." I knew I couldn't compete with his little game, he was being so damn cute that I decided to back down and play it safe while he was happy. ' And yes his punch was pretty hard.' A couple of moments passed and he calmed down somewhat, he looked over at me with puppy eyes as we reached the front entrance of the school and asked "do you maybe want to meet up tonight?" "Do I; hmm" I teasingly questioned. He gave me another dig in the same place he had given me the first time, and said optimistically "Seriously; can we, like meet up tonight." Nodding my head and saying "Yes" I knew the deal was set; like how could you say no to that, he was being totally sweet. Navigating back inside the school for the second half of the school day I made my way back to my locker with Austin. I had art in the afternoon and I needed to get some of my art supplies. Turing onto the corridor that houses our lockers I seen a rather large crowd clump around in the middle of the corridor and walked ahead with my heart pumping faster. I could sense an anxious feeling work its way up through my chest and it almost felt as if my heart was in my mouth. Approaching the backs of the crowd I drove through the people that where gathered around where our lockers were supposed to be. Was there a fight I questioned myself, but when I had broken through to the far side of the circle there was no focal point; no fight. I looked around in confusion as I felt Austin's hand prod my hip. Turing around to him he bobbed his head towards the lockers and that's when I had seen what was written across my locker in thick black marker "Cum Guzzler." I thought I could sense what everyone was talking about, I thought they were laughing at me. I never felt so humiliated in all my life, but I couldn't react. I felt myself welling up when I felt Austin try and pull me away from the situation but I refused to move. If anyone had seen from afar they would probably think I was not fazed by this, but I was mortified, I was crushed. I had no words to offer. I rubbed my arm nervously as I looked down at the ground and then back up, that's when Ethan caught my eye. He would have been going to his next class and we would usually meet up and talk for a few minutes here before heading to class, but he didn't say anything, he just looked from me to my locker and back at me and Austin. He looked guilty, but before he did anything else he just gripped the straps of his backpack firmer and dropped his head as he pushed his way out of the crowd on the far side and disappeared. Austin walked over towards my locker and started to try and rub it off, but it was no use. I could feel people sniggering at Austin, so that's why I turned around to him and grabbed his hand to tell him to stop. Then I heard a familiar voice raise above everyone it was our principal, the people in the immediate area started vacate as she cut through the crowd and seen us since we were the focal point of the circle. She observed how quiet I was and then noticed the words on the locker behind my head, where Austin was standing with a smudge of black ink on his hand where he had been rubbing the locker door. She then said in a serious tone "What happened boys." I was about to tell her that I came back from lunch and my locker was like that but before I could get out "I came back..." I started to whimper and break down in the hallway from embarrassment. She sensed this and said in a more caring way "Oh sweetie" Before pointing at Austin to get the classroom door that was across from our lockers. Doing so Austin ran and opened it for us and we went inside. She told Austin to wait outside, but I quickly snapped "I want Austin." She then nodded her head and told him to "Close the door." by this point I was starting to hyperventilate. Austin looked scared and looked like he was on the verge of crying himself but then the teacher said in an understanding way "boys take a seat." Doing so I slipped into a seat as the teacher and Austin did also, she tried desperately to get me to come down from my frantic state. It was working somewhat and when I finally stopped hyperventilating, she marched up to the teachers table and grabbed a box of paper handkerchiefs and placed them on the desk in front of me. I played with my wrist band as I clearly distraught with what had happened. She looked from me to Austin, she was trying to understand what was going on. "Sam; everything's going to be okay" Austin added with a softness that felt so soothing to me. "It will" Ms Daly added before she asked "Boys, do you want to tell me what's going on when you're ready." Before I got a word in Austin started talking for me on my behalf. "We came back and Sam's locker was like that." "I see." She said, "How come your hand is all black," She finally asked as she had noticed it. Austin stumbled on his words and that's when I spoke for him as I sniffled "He was trying to rub it off my locker." I then started to snivel again and that's when Austin reached out and put his arm around me, "I'm sorry Sam" He said despondently. Eyeballing him with teary eyes; I leaned in to him forgetting that our principal was actually in the room and talked muffly into his chest and hoodie that he was wearing. His embrace was heaven, and his sweet smell made me forget all about this defective place for a couple of moments. "Don't be" I cried, then the teacher reminded us of her presence. "Boys do you know who did it" she questioned. I was about to say yes, but Austin confirmed what I was about to say. All I had to do was just establish what he had said; was inherently true, when the principle asked me if his statement was accurate. I added that it was someone from my old group of friends. I knew it was not a lot to go on but it was all that I could give, I list of suspects but not a particular individual; beside that I was not rat. She then asked "Have you guys been threatened?" When the both of us shook our heads no, she sighed. Evidently, I was threatened but I didn't want adult getting involved because they screw everything up. "I'll get the caretaker to clean the locker immediately, okay Sam." She told us, she then stood up and said to us to "wait here" as the class had nobody scheduled to be in it and left the room. Austin didn't say much but I could sense that he was as distraught as I was. I've had embarrassing things happen to me before but this was; this was... sigh. Austin then leaned in again and hugged me, he clearly had no idea what to say other than comfort me. It was nice of him, but the way he kept clinging onto me was starting to agitate me, but before anything else could annoy me the principal returned and gave a warm smile as she closed the door behind her. Austin sat up as she looked over at us. "Okay well Sam, the janitor is cleaning the locker as we speak. Are you okay hunny? Do you want to go home?" She asked trying to console me, like Austin was doing, but I was somewhere else, all I managed was to cry and nod that something was wrong. Shaking my head I indicated that I wanted to stay in the school as I started to wipe my tears away and attempt to be brave. She then asked again for reassurance and once I said "Yes" she was content. She asked me nervously as she reached for my hand, "Do you want me to have a word with these people. If so you can tell me their names." I knew there was no way in hell that I was going to tell her what their names where. I didn't want anything worse to happen. I guess you could say the worst has already happened but I doubt the worst has hit because as they say, no matter how bad you think something is; it can always get worse. Shaking my head again as a no, she nodded in confirmation and turned to Austin. "Are you okay?" She asked. When Austin said "yes" she said that she would write us notes as to why we were late for class; she reached around to the teacher's desks and grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper and started writing two identical notes and teared them into two separate pieces and handed them to us. Standing up, we all started to walk for the door when the principal stopped us before she opened the door and said confidently. "Don't let other people win the power of influence with whom you want to love." She then smiled and both me and Austin let out a sigh of relief and exited out into the corridor. The janitor had been at my locker and it was cleaned freshly already, it was remarkable at how quietly Ms Daly had dealt with everything. I went to my locker but heisted to open it, I felt a little sick and paranoid of even touching it considering what was written on it not too long ago. But I quickly broke that barrier when I looked at Austin who was enough influence to cross that barrier. Fumbling the right digits on the lock. I took my art materials from the locker and then closed it. I looked at Austin with a hopeful expression and leaned in for a hug, before we both parted ways for our classes. The rest of the evening was as eventful as you could possibly verbalize. I had the dignity to finish my day. A couple of people asked about the locker but when I retreated into my inner sanctuary I think they got the memo when I didn't respond to the locker incident. When mom picked me up she didn't say much until we were nearly home. Since Lauren decided to get the bus she obviously took the option to talk about what had happened today. "Sam, I got phone call from your principal today." She said right off the bat. "You can talk to me if you want to; what happened Samster?" Looking out the window, I decided to evade her question and ask about Johnathan's graduation that was coming up. She took note of it and changed the conversation with me, but I knew she would come back to me with what was happing at school or with my friends. That evening I moped around finding it hard to concentrate, I tried drawing, I tried exercising, I tried jacking off but nothing would work to put me at ease. Around midnight I fished out my phone and went to Ethans chat log and started to type a message." Sent: I guess were not friends anymore, so it's something I'll have to learn to live with it. I really looked up to, I could have never imagined myself without you, but were finished. When you walked by today like you didn't know me, it was the end of everything. I thought you were my friend, and friends don't do that, you kissed me and then said some horrible things, they hurt. Do you think I'm impenetrable, I can only put up with so much stuff before it breaks my respect for someone? I hope that you are happy with your new friends, because you can go fuck yourself Ethan. I then went to my Facebook account and deactivated it, along with Twitter and Instagram, before I rolled over and fell asleep feeling emotionally drained. I knew that with what had happened today, me and Austin had made arrangements to just skip meeting up tonight and that was enough for me to just forfeit and give in for the sake of peace. The next morning, I crawled around the house with not much ambition to do anything. My mom decided not to call me for school, and I soon found out a little later that Austin didn't go to school either. Heading down for a late breakfast, I poured myself a bowl of cornflakes and added the cold milk and dug in. Eating at a slow pace I just sat in the silence as my mom went around cleaning the house, I must have been sitting there for a quite a while, because she came in and out of the kitchen about ten times before she finally asked "Sweetie are finished with your bowl." Moving the bowl out into the centre of the breakfast bar; I layed my head down on the counter, and started to cry. Within seconds I felt my mom's hand cloak my back as she pulled my head up off the countertop and held me close to her chest. She had such a delicate touch, it was so nurturing. In a raspy voice, I said "Mom, I'm really confused" as I wiped the tears with the cuff of my pajama top. She loosened her grip a little as she looked down at me, with one of her hands, she ran her palm over my eyes; wiping the tears out of my sunken sockets and she also brushed my messy hair up off my forehead. "Shh;" She whispered before saying "Sam, talk to me honey." With a muffled sob, I said "Ethan won't talk to me." Mom just drew in a relaxed breath and said with a nurturing tone "Sometimes friend's fallout hunny." "No" I declared and nervously rushed through the next thing I was about to say. "He won't talk to me because... because I like someone." "So; do you think he's jealous?" mom offed in a hushed tone. Confused with her question I asked "What do you mean?" Giving a small smile she then returned to my question "With you having other friends." As this point my crying had subsided a little and I could feel the cool air from the streaks that where left along my cheeks where the tears had descended. "No mom; sigh. Ethan tried to kiss me, and then he pushed me and called me a faggot." "Ethan kissed you?" She asked with a curious melody to it, so much so she was almost blushing for me. "Ugh... no, mom... eh. Why would he do it, then call me that." I said all one go almost running out of breath. "You said you liked someone' if that's not Ethan, maybe he feels rejected. "Rejected? For what?" I asked, now feeling content enough to open up about the sensitive issue. "Maybe he is your best friend; but have you considered that he may have a crush on you." Then something I hadn't thought about suddenly started to be pieced together, I never thought of things this way but it became evident now that my mom had pointed it out. Why did things have to be so muddled and awkward. "So... So..." I struggled trying to find the words with my new- found discovery. "You thin... You think," I stumbled trying to pronounce the syllables, in a state of cringe I covered my eyes in disbelief and squealed "Oh man!" Drawing my conclusions in my head I then asked "So how do I tell him I want to be friends?" My mom then added teasingly "You say you just want to be friends." As she gave my arm a gentle nudge to try and cheer me up, it did make me crack a slight smile, but I don't think it was enough to completely cheer me up. Turning to her to where she leaned against the countertop to take the weight off her feet I asked "But what happens if he doesn't want to be friends, like how can you be sure. He said he likes girls." "Maybe he was trying to act normal, so he could better understand his feelings before he told you anything. Or maybe he just loves you." Cringing and flushing with embarrassment I stated "Love is a big word." "I know hunny, but you can't deny, what the heart truly wants." My mom offered back to my statement. Thinking of what to say next I thought about bringing up the locker incident, but decided to skip that, I just went straight for the kill. "Mom..." I weakly stated. "I'm being bullied." "By who?" She probed, turning to face me with a gloomy stare. Drawing in a breath and letting it escape in a puff I said "Its happening in school." "Do you know who they are?" She asked clearly wanting to know. "Yeah, but I don't want to name anybody" I stated gravely. "Okay hunny, will you promise me that you'll tell me when you're ready?" Taking a moment to think, I clearly said "I promise." She cupped my chin, and raised my head to meet her eyes and proudly said "encase you think that nobodies on your side; I just want you to know... that I'm your biggest fan." Smiling softly, I felt my heart melt in my chest. I stepped down from the stool and gave her a proper hug and then stepped back, and looked up at her. "Mom can I meet my friend Austin, he's out of school too." "Is his mom home?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "I think so, I can call and ask." *********************************************************** Song Four: Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers *********************************************************** Just liked that; she nodded and I ran upstairs to my room and got my phone. I called Austin and in a couple of seconds we were talking nonstop. It was good to hear his voice, it was an extra layer of assurance that I had another person on my side. I asked was his mom around and he said that she was; Within a few minutes my mom had asked could she speak to Austin's mother, and the two them took our phones and chatted for a good portion of fifteen minutes. My mom motioned for me to go get ready while she was on phone. I ran up and jumped in the shower. I wore something good, because you know I had a standard to keep up with if I wanted Austin to still like me. I styled my hair and brushed my teeth, after gargling with some mouth wash, by the time I arrived downstairs and my mom was ready to take me to Austin's house. In the car, we had talked about what she and Austin's mother talked about, she didn't really give much details away but she said that her son Austin has mentioned me a lot. Which made me nervous, I think my mom possibly had made a friend because she started babbling on about some recipes that she talked about with Austin's mom. Before I knew it, I was at Austin's house and I was being dragged indoors; and to the kitchen, where his mom had prepared a light lunch for all of us. After lunch, me and Austin sat on the coach in the living room as the women laughed and talked for another twenty minutes until my mom decided to say she was going. While Evelyn; Austin mom was waving goodbye to my mom, Austin turned to me on the sofa and said "I'm taking you out to have some fun" and with that he gave a goofy smile. "Really, where?" I asked with surprise. When his mother arrived back in the living room she asked "Are you ready boys?" "For what?" I asked looking around to her behind the sofa, she had car keys in her hand and a pair of sunglasses. "I'm taking you Go-Karting" Austin cut in with a giddy tremble that could be felt on the sofa, as he could hardly control his excitement. Just like that I shot up putting out my hand to pull Austin up, and his mom looked at us and smiled. Just like that Austin gripped my hand and pulled himself up off the sofa and we both walked on ahead of his mom towards the front door. On our way to the Karting track me and Austin cracked jokes in the back of the car, the sun beamed through the sunroof and the windows of the land rover. The radio played a couple of chilled songs and everything seemed happy for the moment, everything else didn't matter because I was here with Austin. His mom started singing a piece of the song Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers that was currently on the radio and then Austin joined in, it such was a cute moment. I didn't sing of course, I'm not that sort of person that usually sings, but I just looked on and smiled at the two of them as they seemed relatively happy. When we arrived, Austin shot out of the car ahead of me and I was just behind him, as soon as I fumbled awkwardly to get my seatbelt off. Opening car door, I got out and ran around the land rover as he was standing against a steel chain link fence that was on his side of the car. Peering through you could see people racing around the tarmac track. Austin was so animated with all the emotions he must have been feeling. It was kinda awesome, the two of us where off school and we were out karting. 'Em was this a date I asked myself. Nawh, it was just a day out; right.' Austin turned to me and said "Are you ready?" Giving him a small nod, Austin reached out and pushed his open door closed and the both of preceded to walk for the archway that led into the track. His mom caught up with us after she had parked the car. Standing under the forecourt area, we walked up the young man that was sitting in the small admission booth that was made into the wall. She paid for our admission and then we both pushed through the barriers and his mom followed closely behind. We waited around for a little bit, and ate some junk food with the money Austin's mom had given us. She said if we needed anything to come find her at the food court area, and with that we both set off doing our own thing. When we found, ourselves getting a little board of hanging around we decided to actually try racing this time around. Queuing up at small line, we waited about five minutes so that we could both be on the same track at the same. After that time had expired the both of us made our way towards the go- karts that where stopped on the finish line. Arriving at my go-kart I reached in and pulled out the helmet that last driver had tossed onto the seat when he was finished. I quickly put my helmet on and sat into the seat in the kart. I adjusted the straps so that the helmet was a little tighter. I then was all ready to go, I glanced over at Austin to see if he was ready. But to my surprise I found him in a cute predicament; he was having problems with his helmet. The fastener wouldn't close, so with I hopped out of my kart and strolled the couple of feet towards him. Smiling I slapped my hand down on top of his helmet, and he looked up with a bashful smile. "Are you having trouble?" I wittily asked. I then crouched down and brushed his hands out of the way, where he was trying to close the grip. I then readjusted the straps and made sure it was secure on his head before fastening it. "There" I said "We gotta make sure you don't break anything." We both chuckled, at that and I then returned to my kart and sat back in the bucket seat. I glanced over at Austin, who gave me a giddy thumbs up, it was almost like he was on a lot of sugar. It was so funny to watch, but adorable at the same time. "Thanks" He said as he returned to a second of sincerity. Locking the six-point harness, I then heard the young woman who must have been about twenty that was watching over the people on the track asked "Are youse ready?" When the both us gave the okay, she then pressed the lighting system that emulated the traffic lights on either side of the yellow barriers. The barriers where a multitude of lumber and rubber tires that held the track together, they were all painted in a high visibility yellow paint, and the traffic lights only housed two colours; green and red. The two of us paced ourselves as we were waiting for the light to turn green and with the blink of an eye, the bottom light shun a bright glossy green and I pressed my foot down on the accelerator. The perpetual motion, jilted me forward, however Austin got the lead for the moment. I tailed quickly behind him, hearing the roar and shutter of the engine behind my seat. I pushed my foot down on the peddle hoping that I could go faster. I don't think it quite worked but after I did that I caught up with Austin and grazed the black bumper of his kart and he skidded slightly but got control back. I used his momentum to break the wind that would have slowed me down from overtaking him, and on one of the final bends I navigated into the dip in the road where the sharp turn was and over took him, "Hey" He roared, while he smiled. I could feel the wind rush by me. It struck my face made my eyes water up on the second lap around the track. We did ten laps, and then we stopped. I had won six of those races while Austin had won the last four. It was fun, just messing around with him, and nobody to tell us that we couldn't have fun. I was the first one out of my go-kart, and I unbuckled my harness and got out of the seat and dropped the helmet back in the kart. Walking over towards Austin who was stepping out of the bucket seat. He reached to unhitch the helmet and when he took it off, his hair was a little flat and it stuck to the sides of his temples, it was noticeable that some heat had built up inside the helmet and made his hair a little damp and it hung loosely and freely now. He pushed some the hair back, and he took in a deep breath before adding "That was fun" He then lead on and I followed him back out the gate he had come in and started walking in the direction we had left his mom. "I had a lot of fun today," I added "Thanks for a great day Austin" I offered gratefully. He looked over at me and squinted as the sun was beaming down on his face. His face looked list moist, and I could see a small light patch between his nose and upper lip. I assumed that it was the start of his moustache that was growing, you know like peach fuzz. It made me wonder how come I hadn't noticed any of this on myself. I mean, I never shaved yet. I don't think I even know how. I wondered if Austin knew how to shave. We looked around for his mom for a couple of minutes and then we seen her sitting in the shade at a table under an umbrella, be a large hedging. Panting a little the both of pulled two chairs and sat down on them when we got to the table. "How was it boys" His mom asked as she looked back and forth between the both of us. Austin looked beet, he looked like he was fit to sleep, I didn't feel all that tired but I did feel incredibly thirsty. Austin just rubbed his eyes a little before he said "It was good" After a couple of seconds, he asked "Can we have some money for something to drink." His mother smiled and she then dipped into her handbag and pulled out her purse, she clicked it opened and took $10 dollars out and handed it to Austin. At this point Austin was slumped in the chair; and he looked like he was contemplating using the remaining energy he had left to buy drinks. But out of nowhere he squinted over at me and had suddenly he had another lease of energy. He asked "What do you want Sam?" I said I'd go look at what they had to offer and while I walked with him I had a sudden thought to try and buy the drinks with my own money; Since he spent money on me, or well his mom did, I thought it couldn't hurt to show a little appreciation. That was until I heard him say "This is all I have to my name; ten dollars, make it count Sam" He chuckled. We had finally arrived at the counter, and I was looking at what could be bought and then I seen the homemade smoothies sign on the wall behind the person who was at the till. Smoothies seems like a viable option. The price said $5.60, then I asked Austin. "What do you want to drink" with a curious tone to it. I then placed my hand across my chest and "said my threat." "But... But" Austin stuttered. it was safe to say that I cut in over him and said "But I'm buying." He smiled and seemed to have gave in and he softly mentioned "Can I have a strawberry milkshake." Looking up at the milkshake prices they were the same price as the smoothies. Digging into my pocket; I pulled out to be exact $8 dollars even. I became aware that I wouldn't be able to get one or the other; but I knew that the right thing to do was to treat Austin to this So I said to the middle-aged woman behind the counter "One strawberry milkshake and a bottle of water," I decided with the water because the water was the cheapest weighing in at $2 dollars. Austin was quick to ask "Are you only getting water?" But I was persistent, I wanted him to have the milkshake so I nodded my head and confirmed I only wanted water, even though I would have though I would have liked the smoothie. The woman then handed the bottle of water over the counter to me after I paid and she started making the milkshake, after a minute or so Austin was walking away from the counter with me and bearing a straw in his mouth, savouring the sweet taste of a strawberry milkshake. Returning to our slumped positions on the chair I watched as Austin drank all the milkshake and I took little sips of my water. Once we finished that we ordered a 16-inch margarita pizza and ate till our stomachs where about to burst. Afterwards we packed up and headed back to the car and drove back towards my house, every now and then his mom would ask what turns she had to take and I gave her the directions. After twenty minutes or so we stopped outside my house and we all go out and huddled inside. My mom was glad to see that I had a good day, she was also a little more curious as she eyed up Austin. I think she was starting to suspect the way I acted with him, and how I was acting right now. She didn't say anything of course but it was all sensed, while we left the adults to the boring adult things me and Austin headed up to my bedroom and chilled for a little while they talked it out and where becoming quick friends. I sat on my chair as Austin looked around my room more promptly this time, he was taking everything in. The first time he was here he didn't really have time to take in the surrounding, he asked about the PlayStation and I ran though the games I had, and he agreed to add me after I added him using the PSN app on my phone. We started talking about his vacation he would be taking up to Seattle and then one thing led to another when he dropped a rather awkward question. "So... where's your dad?" Not sure on how to approach the subject, I tried my best to try and explain. "My dad you see never really showed much interest or invested time in me , he just up and left about a six years ago. I can still remember him, but all the memories I have of him are kinda foggy; I remember him being somewhat a typical dad, he didn't drink, or smoke. He wasn't abusive, I think something just clicked and he wasn't my dad anymore and he walked out on us. I did want to see him at first; but I become aware that he didn't want to see me, I found out that he got remarried and started a new family." "I'm sorry" Austin said as he looked down at his scuffed shoes. "What about you; where's your dad? I asked. Just like that Austin gave an animated answer "He's cool, he plays sports with me in summer, to help me practice. He thought me how to play baseball." But then Austin voice dwindled and the lively voice settled down. "He always busy though, I'd like if was home more often, even one night a week, maybe would could watch movie as a family or something, but he usually gets in when I'm asleep." Understanding what he had said, I didn't offer any suffice. I just nodded understanding how it feels to not have a dad in your life. A couple of minutes later his mom called from down stairs announcing that they were going and I walked him out to the curb. Watching him get in the car I said "I'll call you later," and with that he got in the car and shut the door not breaking eye contact with me, when his mom started up the car, he rolled down the electric window, and smiled. Then the car rolled forward and down the street with his mother beeping the horn. I waved at the car for a few seconds, I wished that I had leaned in a kissed him or even hugged him goodbye. Around 6 pm I finally let my mom let me out without her having to baby or worry about me. I knew should of course but assured that I'm okay. I wanted to go for a little walk to clear my head and catch some sun before it completely disappeared. She agreed and let me out. I strolled the neighbourhood for a little bit enjoying the cool warm evening that was on offer, but then I had a sudden urge to drop by Ethans house. I don't know why, but I found myself walking the direction towards his house without actually thinking about it. I ended across the street from his house and even though I had come this far I hesitated from walking across the street and knocking. After about fifteen minutes I persuaded myself to go across the street and knock, I don't know what I was thinking but I had to knock, it was like rational thought was no longer working these last couple of days. Lifting my index finger up to the doorbell, I pressed the white button, and then the bell chimed. I waited nervously for a couple of seconds until the door opened and a woman, the same age as my mom opened the door. She had dark brown hair that was starting to fade in colour and soft green eyes. "Hello Sam" She said with a melodic melody to it. Smiling a radiant smile, she said with a little pithiness to her tone "You just missed Ethan, Sam. I can tell him knocked if he comes back early." She then offered. Looking down the ground, and back up at her with disappointment I said lowly "No thanks" and little by little I wilted away from the door and started down the driveway. Soon after that I was home and went to bed, I didn't go to school Friday either. I stead home. I'm not sure about Austin because we talked last night and he didn't bring it up, so I'm assuming that he did his own thing. I had told him how bummed out I was with Ethan though. I stead home and played PlayStation most of the day. I mean, I knew the exhibition was coming up but that was least of my worries. It was on Monday anyway, I had plenty of time to get ready for it. Come Monday the following week Austin would be in Seattle, I quickly found myself thinking what I would do with myself while he'd be away. It would be the longest week of my life. *********************************************************** Song Five: Moon by Sleeping At Last *********************************************************** Around 5 pm I got a message from Austin, it read, Received: "Do you want to reschedule that appointment we made on Wednesday." Just like that the thought of sneaking out with Austin again, trilled me. I quickly found myself guessing what we'd do for the night. But I quickly sent back what was on my mind. I found myself wanting to really meet up with Austin and hang out, he like a drug now, I couldn't get enough of him. Sent: "What will we do" After a couple of minutes, Austin sent back Received: "Something Mischievous; Meet at 11, outside school." And with that the arrangements were made and I waited eagerly for that time to hurry up. I showered and dressed, and made it look like I was going to have an early night to mom; but I quickly threw on a hoodie and pair of cotton track pants, and snuck down the stairs and out the back yard when the time came. Just like countless times before I struggled to free my bike as it had become tangled in the garden hose that was attached to the outside water tap. But once I got it free I wheeled the bike out under my arm and mounted it in the front yard. Pulling out my phone, I cheeked the time, it was 10:32 pm, and I went to Austin's chat log and started typing. Sent: "On my way" And with that I pushed away from the curb and started my journey to the school to meet up with Austin for the second time. Pulling into the bus depot outside of the school building; I skidded to a stop just short of the curb and dug into my pocket to get my phone out to inform Austin that I was here, but I stopped when I scene a familiar figure coming down the hill in front of me. I swung out of the bus depot and started cycling towards the person on the bike and the both of us stopped right beside each other. Austin stopped facing one way and I stopped facing other. He was panting again, and he smiled across at me as he pulled his hood down. His eyelashes protruded from his face against the street light and it made him irresistible in the current lighting. He had one foot on the pavement between the two of us. I had both of mine on the ground for stabilisation; His other foot rested on the pedal of his bike, he looked so cute and so snug, I couldn't hold back so I shifted all my weight to my left leg and stood up. Leaning in I brought my lips to his and gave him a kiss under the silent streetlights that surged with power and the faint buzz from the electrical current that passed through the transformers, high above our heads. Shifting my weight back to my bike, I leaned back and he looked down at the crossbar between his legs and smiled but didn't say anything. While I was looking at him I noticed that he had a rather large duffle bag hanging from his torso on the far side of his bike. "What's the bag for?" I questioned. "I... Ugh, for fun" he stuttered, in an adorable way, he had returned to his soft facial expression, however you could tell that his soul was smiling from his eyes. "Okay so what are we going to go" I asked looking around to make sure no police where around. Austin then shuffled a little and brought the duffle bag over his head and place it on the cross bar between his legs. "Where's Ethans house?" He asked as he unzipped the bag. 'Ethans house? Why would he have a need to know that; I found myself wondering." "Why?" I asked coyly, at the oddness of his question. He then put his hand into the bag and pulled out a paper toilet roll, and tossed it at me. It hit my chest and fell to the ground in between the two of us. I think I knew what he was suggesting. I thought it was quite a rebellious idea, but I found that It was a little cruel to just target Ethan in specific, but maybe this could be something we could do and target each one of the bullies on by one. It would be a fun little rebel adventure to embark on with him at night. There's just something about being out after dark that that gives you this free feeling, you feel like you're not following the rules, that everyone else is following. I mean it felt bold and mystical, like we are not going to be held back by a curfew or a few simple rules. It is after all, a free country. "Are you thinking; what I'm think?" I suggestively asked him. "No there not for your ass Sam" He shot back, that I started to chuckle along with him. "Are we going to TP Ethans house" I asked a little curious as I tried to uphold my moral principles. "We can if you want to" He innocently said as he leaned down between the two of us and picked up the roll that was on the ground. Thinking about what was right from wrong, I found that this was equally a healthy balance at getting back at Ethan, even if it wasn't a huge thing. I mean we weren't hurting anyone or damaging property, so I confirmed by giving an approving nod at Austin and offered "I'll do it if you want to do." He threw the toilet paper back in his duffle and started to zip his bag up. While he was doing that I took the que, and stood up on my bike and gripped it by the handle bars and turned it around the same 90 degrees as Austin. Looking over at him, I waited for him to put the bag over his shoulder. He said giddily when he was ready "Where to Siri?" Smiling at his sarcasm, I started making a stuttering enactment of a satnav "Re... Re... Rerou... Rerouting." He sniggered and I placed one of my feet on the pedals to start cycling. Pushing down on the thin pedal, I moved slowly ahead of him and said "After 1 mile, turn left." He started laughing as he started to catch up with me. We both cycled down the remainder of the hill I had cycled up to meet Austin. Turing left at the deserted intersection, we cycled down the main road that lead into Spokane. After about five minutes of cycling I darted right and Austin followed beside me matching my pace. I was now on a small suburban road that had small bungalows on each side of the road. Cars hugged the curbs, which tunnelled us into the middle of road. Hitting the next intersection, I went straight and before we knew I had stopped outside of Ethans house. The mint green Tudor style bungalow, looked uninhabited; All the lights where out and all windows where closed, everyone must have gone to bed early; I found myself making the most plausible conclusion. Sighing I stepped off my bike and wheeled it up on the curb and silently let it fall to the ground. Austin did same, and he quickly dismounted his bike and followed after me. "Is this it?" Austin asked, not too long ago I was standing in this very driveway talking to Ethans mother. His mom had always been a nice me, she never had anything to bad to say about anyone, and Ethan even if he was being a jerk, I knew deep down in my heart that he was lost. I don't quite know how to describe it, but it seemed like he was lost or something. Maybe it was because, 'well...' what my mom said, maybe he's confused like I am. Well I don't think I'm confused but, it does explain a couple of things if he doesn't want to talk to me because I'm hanging out with another boy who is in all retrospect the same as me, and possibly Ethan. Austin cut in and mischievously said "So do you want to do this?" Gawking over it him a slight grin crossed my eyes and formed dimples. I knew that I wanted to do it of course, Austin dropped the bag on the grass in from of him, and bent down to open it. For the first time, I found myself looking at his butt. I had never really looked at it before, but something drew me to it. I don't know how to describe it, it was like plump and round I guess, it looked; I don't know, good. Then he turned and looked up at me and handed me two rolls. I think he sensed I was looking at his ass, but he just smiled and took two rolls out for himself. Sighing from relief that he didn't say anything about me looking, I felt myself picking my brain. Did he think that was weird, me looking I mean? Did he like me looking, I mean I liked looking, I think? But did he find it uncomfortable and just smiled out of nervousness. Standing back up he turned and nudged me "Ready?" He asked as he started unravelling the toilet roll; with a nod. I watched as he started running at the house quietly and tossed it over the porch section of Ethans house. He quickly ran to the far side of the porch and plucked up the roll, some of the roll was spewed out across the roof of the porch section of the house. Austin then picked up the roll again and hurled it at a tree and started running for the roll. I then felt the adrenaline rush kicking in and I stepped forward towards the two cars in the driveway. I started opening the toilet paper out and started wrapping it around the wing mirrors of the coupe and then tossed it under the belly of the car, jogging to the small gap between the coupe and minivan I gripped the squishy roll and tossed it back over the roof of the coupe. I did this a couple of times before moving onto the minivan. I glanced at Austin who had sprinkled the tree in the front garden with layers of toilet paper. He was now focused on the number of small garden ornaments that where close to the house. I then went back to the bag and fished out another roll, reaching into the bag I became aware of the amount of paper there was in the bag. I chuckled at the rebelliousness of this deed and threw a roll over the roof that landed just short of the side entrance gate. I looked at Austin who was still running around the garden doing his thing. I could see the caustic rays flooding through the gate. I knew it was the floodlights from Ethans swimming pool in his backyard. I reached for the bottom of the gate and hoisted it up, just like always the lock popped and the gate opened. I could see down the narrow opening between the house and the garden fence. I turned to look around for Austin, he scared the crap out of me as I wasn't expecting him to be right behind me when I turned around. "You almost gave me a heart attack" I declared. "Don't take one of those" He mockingly chided. *********************************************************** Song Six: Somewhere In Between by August Wilhelmddon *********************************************************** Looking back down the side entrance I could see some of the shrubbery and the glow from the pool emanating and flooding out onto sandy gravel path. Austin cut again and said with a sinister sounding voice "What did you find?" Before I could say anything, he brushed through and started walking ahead of me. Looking back out onto the street, to see if anyone was around I called hushly "Austin I don't think we should." I started to cautiously take unwanted steps towards the corner that Austin had just disappeared around. When I reached the corner. I had a clear few of the swimming pool that me and Ethan spent many summers in just messing about and nearly drowning each other as we wrestled around. I seen Austin trying to pull a large ceramic flower planter away from the small rockery wall that had held the shrubs on the left towards pool. "What are you doing?" I asked quickly trying to catching up to him but before I could get to him he edged the planter off the into the pool and it sunk to the bottom making a dull thud and large splash. Within second's the contents of the flower planter spewed across the freshly chlorinated pool. The surface of the water turned a dirty brown colour as the moss peat rose up to the surface. Pieces of the flowers bobbed on the top of the water and Austin started to snigger. "That's awesome, let's do it again." He announced turning to find something else. In shock at the damage that he had done I turned and grabbed on to his arm firmly and asked in disbelieve. "Why did you that?" "Let go of me; that hurts." Austin squealed as he tried pulling away from me, I didn't realise that I was holding him that tightly. Letting him go in shock, I froze. "I'm sorry" I admitted as I sat down on one of the sun loungers behind me. Austin looked a bit scared of me, I think I was to domineering. I should have handled that better Sam I scolded to myself. Austin rolled up his sleeve a little and I could see from the reflection of the pool and flood lights that there were red impressions of my fingertips imbedded into his skin. I almost heaved at the very prospect of having hurt Austin. I keeled over and Austin caught me. "Sam..., now's not that time to sleep on the job" he wittily retorted nervously. I knew he was trying to defuse the situation. But that didn't change the fact that I manhandled him, it was not my attention, I swear I didn't mean it. It was in the heat of the moment. "I'm sorry Austin." I submissively said. I was prepared to do just about anything to amend my mistake, I didn't want anything to come between us. He still held me none the less, "It's okay don't worry about it" He whispered looking from the me to the patio doors of the house. "I'm really sorry for grabbing your like that." I offered again. "I'm fine honest, it just happened" He quietly said looking at me. Lifting my head up to meet his, I think he could see that I was sorry; I truly was. "Are you going to leave me to do this on my own?" He asked, I knew that he wanted to do this, and I felt the only way to make up for it was that I had to do this with him. I had not planned on damaging my best friends garden, but now it definably became and an option. Weighing my options and suppressing my guilt. "I'll do it" I told him and he gave me a warm smile. Standing up off the lounger I put my foot on the side of it and started pushing it towards the pool. The cushions fell off the sun lounger and floated effortlessly on the top of the water and the wooden lounger submerged beneath the water line. Looking over at Austin I gave an apprehensive smile and he then returned a cheeky grin; before picking up a small statue and flinging it into the water that made a loud splash. He then moved to the left and me to right and we both worked at throwing everything we could see into the pool until we both met with each other on the far side of the patio. "Hey there" Austin offered as I looked around to see was there anything we missed. Coming to the conclusion that I had probably costed Ethans parents a couple of thousands worth of damage. I slowly shrunk to my knees as I was starting to feel queasy. There was nothing left to throw in pool, everything that could be lifted had been dumped into the water. You name it seating, BBQ gear, flowers, the outdoor gas heater, and parts of a small marquee. "Are you okay?" Austin asked hunching down to my level. I decided to just say "Yes" to him so that I didn't have to explain why I was feeling bad. He didn't appear to be feeling bad, but I certainly was. Deciding to vacate as quickly as possible we went back outside to the front yard plucked up our bikes and duffle and cycled away like nothing had happened. We didn't want to go home just yet, and I couldn't think of any other place for us to go so I brought him to mine and Ethans hideout. Stopping at the top of the hill, we wheeled our bikes down the slope and laid then on the grass in the natural dip. Turning Austin, I could see that he was still having and ball, and I was now aware of a rebellious side that I had never seen before. I just hopped that I was not getting in, way over my head with this. I defiantly knew I would be hearing back about what he just did tonight, but for now I just decided to take the tranquillity before the police came knocking. Sitting down on the grass I gazed up into the sky, as Austin sat down beside me. We sat like that just listing to the water flow effortlessly under the bridge and down the river. I thought of all bad deeds that I had ever done in my life and I can defiantly tell you I never felt so guilty. Ethan may have deserved some trash talk; I guess but not what I had done. The night seemed young and the cold was slowly starting to descend but as the early hour only started to creep in. I had lay down with Austin and started talking about poetic stuff that was wise beyond our years. I pointed to the stars and talked about our zodiac sign. I explained what it was like to be an Aquarius, and how the rebellious little Aries, I lay next was so fiery; He reached up and cupped my hand as I explained the stars as I pointed up at them. It was a vast world out there and I couldn't think of anyone better to explore the galaxy with. All I needed was his hand holding mine, like he was right now. Glancing over to Austin I found myself smiling for no particular reason; As the boy I was being slowly driven insane by had fell asleep. Yet he still held hand, so that was enough for me to be able to gaze up at the beautiful night sky and watch it slowly fade as my eyes shut and everything went quite around me. 'Everything Went Quite' The End Of Part 10 If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Please comments are welcome. I'd love to hear what people do think. I'd be grateful to hear an acknowledgment that people are reading my stories, thanks again. I know this chapter has taken a little longer than usual, my apologies. If you wish to read my first story it's called Spring-Tide Email Me at danny2017writing@outlook.com Stay tuned for the next instalment Your Writerly friend Danny 2nd May 2017