Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2011 17:23:21 -0400
From: Cy-kun <cysanonymouslyanonymousemail@gmail.com>
Subject: Everything Will Turn Out Alright Part 22

Disclaimer: Even though you're gonna do it anyway don't read this unless
you're of legal age and this type of thing isn't outlawed where you
live. If you object to reading about sex and love between young boys then
this isn't for you. I'd still love to know why you're here though.
Copyrighted material that may be mentioned is owned by the people who own
it and I am not one of them. All of this is fictional, fake, and never
happened.


Introduction: Just when I thought I was safe, fiendish Dr Wu came back to
get his revenge! This time he abducted me from the shower so on top of
having to fight my way through an abandoned bordello-slash-meth lab full of
guards armed with sharp swords and kung-fu knowledge I had to find a
Wal-Mart that wasn't open 24 hours a day so I could sneak in at night and
steal some clothes. It took weeks. Luckily, I also found a grizzled
ex-military type and got him to Dr Wu proof my house so hopefully this will
be the last time I fall victim to kung-fu treachery. So, yeah, sorry about
the delay. Again. But it shouldn't happen again blah blah blah blah.
Honestly I dunno how you guys put up with me, but I'm glad you do ^_^
Anyway, hopefully this one was worth the wait too. Enjoy!

	-Cy


---------------------------------------


	Define awkward.

	Webster (and who the hell IS Webster anyway? Some guy that just
woke up one day and thought "I wanna leave my mark on the world but I have
no talent, friends or social life so I think I'll just write a dictionary
and hope it sticks."? And how do you research a dictionary anyway?) would
probably say it's something like 'causing embarrassment' or 'not easy to
handle or deal with' complete with 'adj' and that weird way of spelling out
a word the way it sounds that usually makes it more confusing to say than
the original spelling. But Webster's dead, I think, so I'm gonna politely
disagree with his definition and make up my own.

	Awkward is standing in your room less than 5 feet away from a
disturbingly attractive boy who just happens to be your secret step-brother
who's existence you've just discovered while your mother and your father
and your father's shiny new surprise wife have what is probably the least
fun conversation ever right downstairs in your living room.

	Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue the way 'causing embarrassment'
does though.

	At least Luke (and don't for one second think I wasn't insanely
jealous of his name. The only way it might have been worse is if it was
Han) seemed to be feeling just as awkward as I was. He stood there,
glancing from the chair by my desk to the bed to the door then back to the
floor in front of his feet as if he was trying to decide whether to sit
down or run away but couldn't get himself to move either way. The one thing
he didn't look at was me. Which was totally cool with me, I was not at ALL
ready to have a stilted conversation forced out of us because we
accidentally made eye contact and couldn't pretend we were the only ones in
the room anymore.

	We should hate each other, you know? I'm the bio son who will
always have a real connection to the person married to his mother that he
can never have and he's the replacement me, a little taller, a little
cuter, a little tanner, probably perfectly straight and amazing at at least
one socially acceptable sport. I should resent the hell out of him. But I
don't.

	It was that nervous, embarrassed look that did it. He wasn't
barging in here all hostile and defensive trying to take my place in my
dad's life (although he was more than welcome to it) and he wasn't staring
daggers at me because his family was uprooted and moved down here just to,
presumably, get closer to me. Instead, he was embarrassed. He knew that my
dad and his mom were making an unnecessary and tense situation a million
times worse and he was humiliated for them. He didn't want to be here
anymore than I wanted my dad here, and that made him an automatic
ally. Which was where most of the awkwardness came from.

	Hostile I could deal with. Scathing sarcasm? I'm friends with
Jason, my skills are the stuff of legends. But cute nervousness? Totally
threw me off my game. I had no idea how this conversation was supposed to
go. And we all know how well I deal with the unknown.

	Still, it didn't seem like he was going to be starting any
conversations anytime soon so it looked like it was going to be up to me.

	Yay....

	"So......." I said, then stopped. Yeah. That was all I had. God I
suck. And now I'm thinking about Vicky which is so not what I want to do
right now.

	Obvious half bulges were NOT going to lessen the awkwardness at
all.

	Luckily for me that pathetic little bit of talking seemed to break
Luke out of his shell a bit. "Um, hi." he said hesitantly.

	Well, it was a start. I'm good with starts.

	"Hi." I said back. Not so good at getting beyond starts though.

	Thankfully my step-brother (ok I need to shorten that. SB? Or maybe
SSB for secret step-brother? Step bro? Stair bro? Stair broski? Ugh. Must
stop thinking) seemed to be better at this. "I'm Luke." He even looked at
me. He still seemed to be giving off a 'I wish this wasn't happening' vibe
but it had more of a 'but I can deal with it I guess' edge to it.

	"Nate." I said, then realized when he frowned a bit that that might
seem slightly stand offish so I tried out a smile. It seemed to work.

	He stuck his hand out. We shook. I'd comment of the softness of his
hand but, come on, we're adolescent boys we're supposed to be soft. Plus,
thinking about softness and boy skin kinda automatically turns my thoughts
to Vicky which doesn't help with making sure other parts of my body stay
soft. "Well, this isn't weird." he said. I laughed. Things got less
awkward.

	"Nope." I said. "Not at all. It's actually kind of a slow day. I
usually get three secret stai-um, step-brothers by now." We shared a small
smile. I even managed to keep the conversation going. "So, you lived in
Alaska?" Yeah, I already saw the plates but that's what small talk
is. Stuff you either already know or don't care about.

	"Yeah. Anchorage." he sounded wistful.

	"City boy, eh?" I said with a grin.

	He smiled slightly. "I guess you weren't?"

	"Nope." I said happily. "Lived in a small town by Juneau actually."

	"Do you miss it?"

	"Not really." I answered honestly.

	"Why not?" he sounded a little more than passing curious.

	Now, this was dangerous territory. The full answer is, of course,
Jason and Vicky. And I guess Erica now too........and even though I'd never
admit this to her face, Michelle isn't totally annoying all the time
either. I could say that, but then the logical next questions would be
about my friends and I'd need to make some choices I wasn't ready to
make. It's not like Vicky would be hurt or offended if I referred to him as
a "friend" but I'd still feel bad. It would be like denying what he meant
to me and even if he never found out, I'd know. On the other hand I still
didn't know what I wanted to do about the whole "hey dad I'm gay" thing so
I couldn't gush to my dad's step-son about my boyfriend without risking it
getting back to him. Plus, despite my insane luck with this, I couldn't
just assume Luke would be cool with it either. On top of that, even though
I hate to admit it, Luke is definitely 'my type' and I was just self aware
enough to know that if I didn't have Vicky I'd probably be crushing on him
right now and getting into any conversation about Vicky or possible gayness
would just bring back the awkward. Still, I needed to say something. I
decided on vagueness. Always a good stand by.

	"I have good friends here." I said and still managed to feel a
small pang of guilt at lumping Vicky in there by not following that up with
'and a really awesome boyfriend'. "Plus the weather is awesome. I never
realized what summer was supposed to be before I came here."

	Luke's eyes lit up at the mention of summer. "I know! I couldn't
believe how hot it was when we moved down here. Mom said maybe next year we
could get a pool for the backyard. Do you have a pool?"

	"Nah. Don't need one. We have a town pool where everyone hangs out
during the summer. I actually usually end up spending the whole summer down
there checking out-" I choked. Shit! Back track! Back track! "Um, swimming
and stuff."

	Smooth. As. Gravel.

	My slip didn't go unnoticed though. (I know, big fucking shock,
right?) Luke got a sly smirk on his face. "Checking out....?" he trailed
off suggestively.

	Shit! Damn his perception! And, you know, me not thinking about
what I say before I say it I guess. I felt myself blush slightly and I
don't think I've ever wanted to kick my own ass more than I did right
then. "Um, the snow cones?" Lame, I know. Oh, how I know.

	Luke just grinned an awfully Jason-like grin and I made a mental
note never to let them meet. Somehow I don't think I'd survive that team
up. "Snow cones, huh?" Crap. "Are these snow cones sexy?" Shit! "With wet
swimsuits?" I'm fucked. "And big boobs?" Son of- wait, what? I just barely
managed to keep the surprise and confusion off my face.

	Just.

	Luke took my silence as something else though and laughed. "Oh,
wow. You DO perv on girls at the pool, don't you!" I almost let out a laugh
of my own, one filled with relief and a bit of surprise. I guess I
shouldn't be surprised though. I mean, that's what nice, normal straight
kids think, right? That a boy their age would naturally be just as nice,
normal and straight as they are and if they were perving on someone at a
public pool it would have to be something with tits. It's just been so long
since anyone I talked to thought I was even the smallest bit straight that
I didn't think that way. I tend to think it's obvious, despite how much I
might protest that.

	Now, I could easily pretend to be a good little straight boy and
play along. It can't be hard. Just slip the word 'tits' or 'pussy' into the
conversation and remember to say 'her' and not 'him', but I hesitated. It
was bad enough that I was, kinda, sorta backhandedly implying that Vicky
wasn't anything more than a friend but this would be outright denying that
I was even gay, which is even more insulting to him in a way. But I
couldn't just say "Ew! No way!", no matter how much I might want to, since
we were both way past the 'girls have cooties' age. Luckily, Luke once
again took my silence as something it wasn't. This time probably
embarrassment. He laughed again. "Heh, my big brother the pervert."

	Well, maybe if I just don't comment either way I can get away with
it. I still felt a small pang of guilt for not-wait, what did he just say?
"Big brother?" I cocked my head, not sure if I heard right.

	"Yeah." Luke said. "You're 13 right?"

	"Um, yeah." I frowned. "How old are you?"

	"12. My birthday was last week."

	"Jesus Christ!" I groaned. I tried to guess just how many inches he
had on me. 2? 3? I didn't have to look up as far as I did when talking to
Jason so he wasn't that much taller but, come on, I can't even be taller
than someone who was fucking 11 a week ago? There's just something
seriously wrong there. I wonder if I need to see a doctor? Or maybe a
therapist because I think this height thing just went from a complex to a
neurosis.

	It was at this point I noticed that Luke was gaping at me. Like,
full on eyes wide, mouth open gaping. "What?" I asked and somehow managed
to keep the self conscious blush from covering my whole face. Did he really
just notice how tiny I am? Is that why he looks so surprised? Or, oh fuck,
did I leave something....gay out in the open and he saw it? I had to fight
to keep my head from shooting around to frantically check my nightstand for
any evidence of homoness. If there wasn't anything there getting all
panicked and looking would be a hell of a great way to say 'hey, there's
something Nate wants to keep hidden in the nightstand! Why don't you go
look?' and why wasn't he SAYING anything? "What?!" I asked again, this time
louder and with a less than manly voice crack.

	Luke blinked and closed his mouth. "Oh, uh, nothing. It's
just....it's been a while since I heard someone take the Lord's name in
vain."

	It was my turn to blink in surprise. How the hell does someone
respond to that? I didn't have time to think about it though.

	"Nate! Luke! Dinner's ready!" my mom yelled up the stairs.

	I jumped, gave Luke a slightly embarrassed smile and headed
downstairs.




	Define rage.

	Wikipedia, which goes into WAY more detail than that loser Webster
ever does, says it's a mental state that is one extreme of the intensity
spectrum of anger. Sorry nameless geek with way too much time on your hands
but I disagree with that one too. Rage is the result of my dad existing and
being in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes causing someone who
probably couldn't punch out a 4th grader to suddenly seriously think about
leaping across a table and ripping out someone's throat with his
fingernails.

	Yeah, dinner didn't go that well.

	Let's start from the beginning.

	Honestly, when we first got down there I thought I had a whole new
definition for awkward. My dad sat at the head of the dining room table
like he belonged there with his peroxide blonde sitting to his right like a
good little wife. My mom sat at the other head of the table, glaring at
him. I couldn't help rolling my eyes. On the very, very few occasions when
we actually used this table no one sat at the head. My and my mom usually
sat across from each other. It was a bit childish really, kind of a "my
dick is bigger than yours" thing between a man and a woman. Which was seven
different kinds of stupid if you ask me.

	Like my dad could win one of those against my mom.

	My dad cracked first, like I knew he would. He broke eye contact
with my mom and took Caroline's hand. "Who's going to say grace?"

	I choked on the cream soda I was drinking. Is he for real? I looked
over at Luke to ask but he already had his head bowed. Holy shit he WAS
serious. People still did that? I looked at my mom for some indication of
what I should do but she just gave me a small shrug and raised her
eyebrow. "Since when did you get religious, Eric?"

	My dad didn't say anything for a few seconds, just squeezed
Caroline's hand. She squeezed back and I guess that was what he was looking
for because he started talking. "Since I accepted Jesus into my heart and
he helped me overcome my dependence on alcohol." He squeezed his wife's
hand again and she gave him a small smile. He smiled back. I wanted to
gag. I guess the smile was some kind of signal because the next thing I new
it was life story time. "Caroline and I met in AA. We joined up at around
the same time and kind of just fell in together. After a few weeks we
started dating but no matter how much we tried to keep strong the
temptation of alcohol was getting to be too much. It was lucky that we had
each other to talk to or we might have slid back down the dark path. One
day we were talking about the program and why it wasn't working when we got
into a discussion about faith. The meetings were run by the local church so
faith was always pushed as a part of the recovery process but we never
really payed attention to it, thinking it was just the church trying to
drum up donations or something. But things were getting bad and we decided
we might as well give it a shot. Three days later we attended our first
service and a month after that we were ready to accept Jesus Christ as our
Lord and Savior. It was the best decision we ever made. With the help of
Jesus we haven't had a drop of alcohol in almost two years. I have a new
wife and a great stepson and I'm truly happy. The only thing missing is you
Nate." He looked at me. "You're my son and I want you to be a part of my
life. You deserve to grow up with a mother and a father, like any child."
He held up his hand when I opened my mouth. "I don't want an answer right
now. Even though she may not have the best reasons I'm glad Julia invited
us over tonight and I just want to get to know you. We can talk about the
heavy stuff some other time." He smiled at me briefly. "So," he said and
clapped his hands together. "Will you mind if I say grace?" He looked at my
mom. So did I. She looked at my dad for a long moment then nodded.

	While everyone's head was bowed and my dad went on about Jesus and
food or whatever I stared at the table and thought about what my dad
said. I never really gave any thought to his life since he came back into
mine. I always just kinda assumed he was still drinking and honestly I
kinda suspected him coming back was at least partly alcohol fueled. I never
considered he might be sober and I never thought he might have a story like
that. For the first time ever I felt like I understood my dad a little bit.

	Now, this is the part where I wipe away a tear and make a silent
promise to at least give my dad a chance and take that first step down the
road to forgiveness, right? Well, it might have been. Really. Except for a
few things.

	The first thing is that during his whole story he never once
actually apologized. To me or my mom. He hinted at wanting to take care of
me and made it clear that his new wifey was a good influence on him but he
never once even came close to admitting that he's the reason my childhood
wasn't 'normal', let alone approached anything that even looked like an
apology.

	The second thing was the creepy way his eyes lit up whenever he
talked about Jesus. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those people
who thinks that religion is the root of all evil and needs to be wiped out
so we can all hold hands and kiss puppies under the rainbows but it's a
known fact that some people tend to get a bit too wrapped up in their
religion. Especially if they're converts. The way my dad's eyes gleamed
when he talked about it made me really uneasy. I dunno for sure what about
it made me feel that way but considering fact that Luke seemed so surprised
that I used Jesus Christ as a curse and the whole, you know, gay thing I
was really wary of Born Again Dad.

	Third, and I'm ending with the most important one here, when he
said I deserve a 'mother and a father' I saw a few glances that gave me the
impression that he wasn't talking about him and my mom. He was talking
about him and Reformed Alkie Wife. That wasn't gonna fly with me. Even if I
wanted to reconnect with him there was no way in fucking HELL that I was
gonna let him come between me and my mom ever again. She may be annoying,
frustrating and, at times, pure evil but she raised me. She loved me and I
never had to question that.

	My dad finished up and dinner kinda settled into a pattern. I
talked quietly with Luke and the adults did their own thing. Which was
mostly trading bitchy comments. I think. I dunno. I kinda tuned them out.

	I found out a lot about Luke though. Including one, incredibly
important, friend-and-brother relationship defining fact.

	"You never saw Star Wars?!" I screeched. I absently noticed the
conversation stopping around me but I didn't care. How the HELL could
someone never have seen Star Wars? That's like......like.....fuck it's like
someone saying they've never seen Star Wars! It's the thing you say when
someone says they've never seen, like, Die Hard or Predator or something.

	"Um, no." Luke smiled weakly. "I guess you have?"

	"Who hasn't? It's like, only the greatest thing ever put on film!
Are you sure you've never seen it?"

	"Yeah. I'm-"

	"Never even on TV when you were flipping channels or anything?"

	"No, I-"

	"You never saw it sitting there in a video store and thought 'hey,
this looks cool maybe I should rent it'?"

	"No."

	"I-you-but-" I shook my head. "I'm letting you borrow the
DVD's. There is no way I can let you walk out of here without all 6
movies."

	"There are six of them?!" Luke exclaimed.

	I shook my head sadly. "You poor boy." His childhood must have been
hell. I shot a venomous glare at Neglectful Abusive Mom but she was too
busy making some catty comment about my moms cooking to notice. "You need
help."

	Luke looked a little nervous. "Uh, thanks, but, um....I don't wanna
take your DVD's....I mean if you like them so much I might lose them of
some-"

	I waved his words away. "It's cool. You're getting my spares I
don't care if you lose them."

	"Your....spares?"

	"Yeah, of course." I gave him a condescending smile. Poor, poor
boy. "I got them for situations just like this. Plus I'm not gonna risk
accidentally scratching one up and being without a complete, working set
until I get get out to a video store."

	"Um, ok, thanks." He took a bite of pot roast.

	I sighed. "And you have to watch them in the right order."

	"Uh, ok."

	"Do you know what the right order is?" I asked, dreading the
answer.

	"Um. One to six?" he said with an implied 'duh' at the end.

	I groaned. "You're hopeless. Pay attention. You watch them four to
six then one to three ok?"

	"O-"

	"That's New Hope, Empire, Jedi then Phantom Menace, Attack and
Revenge ok? It's important!" I said forcefully. Some might say I'm coming
on a bit too hard but if you don't experience the saga in the right order
it totally ruins the experience. Especially for a virgin.

	"Ok, ok! I got it."

	"Good." I'd just have to trust him. "If you forget just give me a
call. I'll write my number down and put it in the box for A New Hope."

	"Ok." he said quietly and I noticed that his chair was a few inches
further away from me that it was before this conversation started.

	"Oh for-look I'm not crazy ok. Get back here." I pulled his chair
back towards me. "Just trust me on this. You'll thank me later."

	Luke just looked at me for a few seconds. "You're obsessed."

	"I know." I said casually. "What? You don't have anything you're
obsessed about?"

	Luke blushed a bit and gave me an embarrassed smile. "Well, yeah I
guess."

	"Really? What?" I asked eagerly. This was always the best part
about making a new friend. Finding obsessions to bond over. It was even
more important now considering Luke was pretty much family.

	"I'm really into Doctor Who." he said with the eager grin unique to
a nerd when someone shows even the tiniest bit of interest in his
obsession.

	"Oh." Poor, poor, poor boy. Don't get me wrong, Doctor Who gives
you decent to great nerd cred these days but he couldn't find something
American or Japanese to obsess over?

	"What?" Luke's eyes narrowed. "You don't like Doctor Who?"

	"It's not really my thing." I said honestly.

	"Have you ever even watched it?" Luke asked, glaring and with a
little hostility creeping into his voice.

	"A few episodes. It was ok. Just not something I liked." I was
really trying to be diplomatic here. I didn't wanna come out and say the
show sucked because then he'd get defensive and probably attack Star Wars
and since he's not Vicky it'd end up with fistfights, flying food and trips
to hospitals.

	And not a word out of anybody about taking an obsession with a
movie too far. If you're thinking that then you just don't know.

	"Which episodes? Which Doctor was it?" Luke's eyes were gleaming,
like he was trying to find some hidden secret to why I didn't love his
show.

	I shrugged. "I dunno. It was one of the newer ones."

	"Was it the 11th Doctor?"

	"Dude, I don't know. It was on SyFy a while back." I tried to
remember something about the episode other than that it was boring and all
the characters seemed to say 'finkin' instead of 'thinking'. "Doctor Who
had, like, poofy hair and was kinda skinny?" I think.

	"His name isn't 'Doctor Who'," Luke said exasperatedly. "It's just
the Doctor."

	"Just the Doctor? He doesn't have a name?"

	"Yeah. Just the Doctor."

	"Then why is the show called Doctor Who?" I asked
confused. "Shouldn't they just call it The Doctor?"

	Luke let out a frustrated growl. "It's kind of a running joke. He
introduces himself as the Doctor and people say 'Doctor who?'."

	"And that's how they got the title?"

	"Yeah."

	I shook my head. "Brits."

	"Hey! It's a great show! It's a classic. The people who made it
were even smart enough to have a reason for changing actors built in to the
backstory without changing the main character himself. Do you know any
other show like that?"

	I didn't know what he was talking about and, against my better
judgment, I was about to ask when my dad interrupted us. It was probably
for the best.

	"So Nate," my dad said. "What did you do this weekend?"

	Not for the best! Not for the best!

	Goddammit! I should have known that question was a possibility. Why
can't I be better at lying? That's it. Close to the end of the year New
Year's resolution time. From now on I'm never talking to my dad without
having a lie ready for every possible question he could ask me about any
possible subject. How hard can that be? Can't possibly be any harder than
doing what I have to do now. I gave a mental sigh of defeat and decided to
just get it over with.

	"I slept over at my friends house." Ouch. Sorry Vicky.

	"Oh," my dad said. "Did you go to church with his family?"

	Well, that's not something I would have thought he'd ask. Doesn't
exactly roll out the confidence about my resolution. "Um, no." I tried to
keep the 'why the hell would I do something like that?' out of my
voice. I'd rather get into a Star Wars/Doctor Who argument with Bad Taste
Step-Brother than get into a religious one with Divinely Obsessed Dad.

	My dad frowned. "So you skipped?"

	This time the sigh slipped out. "No, dad."

	"We don't go to church, Eric." my mom cut in.

	My dad's frown deepened. "Julia, you-"

	"Eric." my mom's tone was the verbal equivalent of a rattlesnake's
tail, a very clear 'back the fuck off'.

	"Alright, alright." he held up his hands. "I didn't come here to
fight." He turned back to me. "So, what's your friends name?"

	Didn't come here to fight my-wait, what was the question?
Oh. "Vicky. You met him the other night."

	My dad frowned again. "Oh." he said.

	Oh? What the fuck does that mean? And what's with that fucking
frown? My boyfriend defensiveness started to kick in and like someone
flipped a switch anger started to simmer in my chest. "What?" I asked
sharply.

	"Are you sure you want to be hanging around with him? A teenage boy
calling himself Vicky seems kinda.....swishy, don't you think?"

	"You asshole!" I screamed as the anger boiled over. I tried to
launch myself across the table to do the aforementioned throat ripping but
I kinda forgot to get up first and ended up slamming my stomach into the
edge of the table. "Shit! Ow!"

	Luckily my mom was there to take over. "ERIC!" she yelled, causing
Luke and his mom, who had stood up at my scream and had almost identical
looks of shock on their faces, and my dad, who was opening his mouth to say
something, to freeze and stare at her. "You do NOT get to insult my son's
friends in front of him in my house!"

	"I'm looking out for him!" my dad yelled back, his face turning
red. "It's hard enough going through school as small as he is and not
playing any sports but he needs to watch out who his friends are or he'll
be the target of abuse until he graduates high school! I don't want that
for him."

	My mom was so pissed she was shaking and I had a sudden image of
her leaping across the table to finish what I started. She just had too
much self control to actually do it.

	Too bad.

	"Nathan can choose his own friends." my mom practically
snarled. "He doesn't go around worrying about what other people think or
trying to make everyone like him and that makes me more proud than I could
ever say." Even with how totally and completely pissed off I was I couldn't
stop my eyes from watering up. "If that's how you would have raised him
then I thank God that you left when you did." Ohh, the God thing was a nice
touch, mom. "Get out of my house. Now."

	My dad shook his head, not in refusal but more like he couldn't
believe what he was hearing. "I don't like the way you're raising him
Julia. I'm more convinced than ever that he needs my influence in his
life. You'll be hearing from my lawyer."

	"Get. Out."

	"Fine. Caroline, Luke, come on." my dad walked past me, into the
hall and out the front door.

	Caroline got up to follow, looking almost as pale as me. "It was
nice to meet you." she said absently as she followed. I might have laughed
if I wasn't so mad.

	"Dude," Luke whispered to me. "Your mom's kinda awesome." Then he
followed his mom.

	I barely heard the door close behind them.

	Swishy? Swishy?! My dad meets the sweetest, most perfect boy in the
world and all he can say is that he seems swishy? Because he doesn't have a
butch name like Buck or Grant or John? How fucking dare he! He doesn't know
Vicky. He barely talked to him and never spent any time with him. He didn't
even TRY to get to know him before making a snap judgment that he wasn't
the 'right sort' to be my friend. And where the fuck does he get off
telling me what kind of people I should be friends with anyway?! I had a
crazy desire to run outside after them and tell my dad that he didn't need
to worry about me being friends with Vicky because he was my boyfriend and
see how his judgmental, religious ass likes that.

	I didn't though. In fact, it only made me even more determined to
keep him from finding out. This Eric Ellis wasn't the drunk I remember or
the attentive, fun guy he was when I was little. He was new. And he scared
me just a little bit. Which really only pissed me off even more.

	"Nate?" I jumped, my mom's voice startling me. "You ok." She placed
her hand comfortingly on my shoulder and I didn't even realize that I'd
been shaking until her touch calmed me enough to stop.

	I took a deep but very unsteady breath. "I'll be in my room."

	I got up and walked out without a backward glance or another
word. Mom didn't say anything or try to stop me and I loved her for it.

	I got to my room and closed the door, my last thought before
collapsing against it and crying tears of rage was that I never gave Luke
my Star Wars DVD's.




	"Your dad really said that?" Michelle asked the next day at lunch
after I got done explaining what had happened. It was the first thing she'd
said in a while, which was pretty shocking itself. In fact I think the last
thing she said had been "Holy shit you have a dad?!". I looked at the
clock. Wow, lunch was almost over.

	Time flies when you're airing personal drama in public.

	I took a look around the table and saw that everyone was hanging on
my every word. Except Jason. He already knew the whole story. Last night
after I was done crying I tried for a half hour to call Vicky but his phone
kept doing that ringing-while-not-going-to-the-answering-machine thing so I
guessed Jack must have been on the phone. I ended up throwing the phone
across the room and screaming about idiots not having call waiting. I don't
think my mom heard. If she did I'm pretty sure I'd be seeing a therapist
right now. Probably while two roid head guys stood behind me with Thorazine
and a straight jacket ready to go.

	Strangely enough that really didn't make me feel any better. I felt
like if I didn't talk to someone about what happened I'd literally burst so
despite the weirdness of our last conversation still bothering me a bit I
sucked it up and called Jason.

	When he realized it was me I got the impression that he wanted to
hang up so instead of letting him think up an excuse I just started telling
him everything that happened. It was the second time that weekend he put
aside whatever shit was bothering him to try and help me with something
that was seriously fucking me up and if it didn't feel so damn good just to
TALK to someone I probably would have felt worse about that. He really is a
much better friend to me than I ever was to him.

	We ended up talking for about an hour and when we finally said
goodbye it took me less than 5 minutes to fall asleep. So, yeah, he knew
everything and actually looked kinda bored sitting there hearing it
again. I guess I could understand but I was kind of annoyed at him since
all damn day he'd been acting weird again. Like he was avoiding me without
actually avoiding me. If that makes any sense. Which it doesn't. But that's
still how it was.

	Just pretend you get it.

	"Yep." I answered and gave Vicky's hand a squeeze. He squeezed me
back and since his arm was already around my chest he gave me a little hug
at the same time. I nuzzled my head further into his chest and soaked up
the comfort of being held by Vicky.

	Yeah, we were in the middle of lunch where literally everyone in
our grade could see us but I didn't give a shit. I felt so bad about pretty
much denying what he was to me twice last night that I needed to be close
to him to show him how much I loved him. Of course, he didn't know that at
first so when I crawled into his lap in homeroom and buried my face in his
neck he was more than a little bit surprised.

	Didn't stop him from copping a feel though. I love my Vicky.

	I think the only person who was more surprised than Vicky was Mrs
Philips when 10 seconds later I dragged Vicky towards the door of the
room. "I need to be consoled, page 15, not breaking the rules you can't
yell at us bye!" I shouted to her as I dragged him out and down the hall.

	They really need to update that rule book.

	I dragged Vicky into the nearest bathroom (ok so it wasn't the
guidance counselors office or an unused detention room. Sue me) pushed him
into the nearest stall and crawled back into his lap before smashing my
lips against his. After a minute of kissing I pulled back and told him what
happened and apologized to him and cried and all he did was hold me and
whisper soothing words into my ear until I calmed down. He told me that he
wasn't gonna accept my apology because there was nothing to be sorry for
and before I could even start to argue he started kissing me again.

	We ended up skipping first period.

	I felt better, if a bit weak in the knees, after that but I still
needed to be as close to Vicky as I could be all day. I stopped short of
sitting in his lap during class but every second we were outside a
classroom I was holding his hand or tucked under his arm or hugging his
waist. Yeah, maybe I was acting like a needy little bitch but I didn't
care. And neither did Vicky. He soaked up the attention like it was the
only thing keeping him alive.

	"Wow, that's such bullshit." Erica said. The amount of sympathetic
disgust in her voice made me immediately update her status from "lesser
evil" to "tentative friend". "Your dad sounds like a total asshole."

	"He is." I agreed and burrowed closer to Vicky. I was practically
on top of him and I was looking at the small bit of space between Vicky's
thighs and the bottom of the table trying to figure out how I could get
into his lap without the rough metal digging into my legs when Carl spoke
up.

	"So, what are you gonna do?" he asked.

	"Gonna try to, just, squeeze in here-uh, what? Oh. Um, I dunno." I
reluctantly took my attention away from the table space. "Try to avoid him
as much as possible I guess."

	"But what if he, you know, gets you?" Michelle asked. "Will he make
you leave Vicky? Will he take you back to Alaska!? Oh no! We have to stop
him!"

	"Calm down! Look, even if he wins it'll just be joint custody. He
can't take me away or anything like that." Yeah. That was me, being the
voice of reason and rationality. Don't get used to it. Oh alright, fine!
I'm quoting Vicky ok? Jesus!

	Vicky knew it too. I felt a slight shudder as he suppressed a
chuckle. "You're completely, totally, one hundred percent right." He gave
me a squeeze. I grumbled and half heartedly swatted his thigh but nuzzled
his chest again after.

	"You guys are too damn adorable." Erica mumbled.

	"I know, right?" Michelle said. "I wish I could take them home with
me and just watch them."

	"Yeah," Vicky said. "That isn't creepy at all."

	"You might wanna tone down the stalker vibe there. We've been
cuddly all day, you should just enjoy it instead of giving us reasons not
to do it in front of you." I added.

	Michelle sat up totally straight. "Okok! Sorry! Sorry! Don't stop!"

	I felt another suppressed chuckle from Vicky as I grinned. Looks
like prostituting our cuddles gets her to go easy on the crazy. Who knew?
My grin faded as I got pissed at myself for thinking about using our
affection to get Michelle to shut up. Wow. Not only am I a terrible best
friend but I'm turning into a crappy boyfriend too. I leaned up to whisper
in Vicky's ear. "I love you." It made me feel a little bit better.

	He surprised me by turning around and kissing me quickly. "Me too."

	"OH! MY! GOD!" Michelle shrieked.

	"What?" Erica's head shot back around from where she was looking
at.....something.

	"They kissed!"

	"I missed it?!" Erica whined. "Fuck!"

	Maybe I need to rethink that status upgrade....

	 The bell rang then, as it tends to do, and we all got up to
leave. Jason was the first one out, Jen just behind him and I couldn't
decide whether or not to catch up with him and make him tell me what the
hell this sudden strangeness between us was about. I decided against it. He
was the one with the problem and when he wanted to talk about it he
would. I wasn't gonna go hunting him down and beg him to talk.

	"Nate! Vicky! Wait up!" Michelle called right after we left the
cafeteria. Hand in hand of course.

	Vicky looked at me questioningly, leaving the decision of stopping
or running like hell up to me. I stopped. She really hadn't been that bad
today. Probably because she was listening to me talk most of the period but
still, her voice didn't make me cringe so why spend the extra energy?

	"Hey," she said brightly as she stopped in front of us. "I didn't
get a chance at lunch but I wanted to ask you...." she frowned.

	After a few seconds of silence Vicky asked, "Ask us what?"

	"Um, promise me you'll think about it before saying no, ok?" She
answered, but was looking at me.

	I sighed. Nothing that follows that is EVER good. Still.....wasting
energy and all that. "Ok, fine. Promise."

	"Ok, cool." she took a calming breath but I could see the
tension/excitement/general Michelle hyperness making her body practically
vibrate in place. "So, I'm having a Halloween costume party at the end of
the monthandI'dreallyloveitifyouguyscame." She must have seen my expression
change and forced out that last bit before I could say no.

	She shouldn't have bothered.

	"Sure, sounds awesome." I said excitedly.

	"Look, you thought you'd hate the dance too right and look how much
fun you had! Well, except for the end but I promise there won't be anything
like that there."

	"I said yes."

	"And I promise there won't be too many people. Just everyone at our
table and a few other people I know. 10, 25 tops I swear!"

	"I wanna go."

	"I won't even ask you to dress up if you don't want to, you can
just show up and-"

	"Michelle!" I yelled, loud enough to cut her off and turn more than
a few heads our way. "I said I'll come. Like 5 times."

	She closed her mouth, cocked her head, then opened it again, closed
it, blinked and finally spoke. "R-really?"

	I glanced over at Vicky to see if he was as amused as I was but he
was just staring at me with his mouth open in surprise. I looked back and
forth between them "What?" I asked finally.

	"You really WANT to go?" Vicky asked quietly, like saying it would
make me change my mind.

	"It's a costume party right? Of course I wanna go!" I gave a little
'duh' head shake.

	"You like costume parties?" Vicky asked.

	"Dunno. Never been to one. But I LOVE Halloween and cospl-uh,
wearing costumes so a costume party sounds fucking awesome."

	Vicky's eyes lit up. "You almost said cosplay!" he accused.

	"No, well, maybe." I crossed my arms while still holding his
hand. "So what?"

	"No, nothing. I just didn't think you'd, you know, go for that."

	"Well I do, ok? Is that a problem?" I was suddenly feeling a bit
defensive.

	"No! That's really awesome!" He giggled.

	"So, I take it you wanna go too right?"

	"Hell yeah! I'd never miss seeing you all dressed up and sexy." He
shot me his wicked grin and licked his lips.

	Yeah, my pants suddenly got a lot tighter. But for once it didn't
distract me too much. "We should have the same theme for our
costumes. Like, Star Wars or something."

	Vicky stuck out his tongue. "What about Star Trek?"

	I stuck out my tongue. "Why would I wanna do that?"

	"Skintight uniforms?"

	Hm. If anything could get me to switch camps, at least for a night,
that would probably be it. "Let's talk about it." And we did, all the way
to our next class.

	It was only after class started that I realized we left Michelle
standing back in the hall in shock and we didn't have any idea where the
party was gonna be or when we should show up. Oh well, that's why tomorrow
exists.




	The next few weeks passed pretty quickly.

	I could have kissed Michelle for inviting me to her party because
it gave me something to think about besides all the other crap going on in
my life. Not that I would ever actually kiss her. Aside from the whole 'she
girl, me gay' thing it would be like kissing a really annoying cousin. Plus
I'm pretty sure the second my lips touched hers she'd go into a fangirl
adamantium sex rage and end up ravaging me on the spot. So, yeah, not
kissing her.

	I could have though.

	I hadn't heard much from my dad since that night we had dinner. His
lawyer called like he promised and my mom bitched him out for like an hour
before hanging up on him and forcing him to call back. I only hoped the guy
was billing my dad according to how much time he spent on the case and if I
had to guess from the satisfied smirk on my moms face after they were
finally done talking she was thinking along the same lines.

	Still, my dad ended up getting his way in the end. A judge ruled
that he deserved another custody hearing and one was scheduled for the
middle of November. I didn't pay much attention to it. My mom, her lawyer
and sometimes even Jack would talk about it endlessly but I couldn't stand
to even think about it so mostly I just let costume concerns and Vicky's
general awesome perfectness distract me.

	Jason was also pretty distracting but not in a good way. We still
talked, we still hung out but there was always this feeling of
uncomfortableness in the air when we were together. It got worse when me
and Vicky were together with him and there were so many times when it was
on the tip of my tongue to ask him what the fuck the problem was but I
always held back. I didn't want anything else to deal with until after this
shit with my dad was solved and I had the feeling that whatever was wrong
with Jason would be a bitch to deal with. Vicky disagreed with that but
this was one of the few times where he didn't sway me. Deep down I knew he
was probably right and that talking about the problem would be better than
ignoring it and letting it get worse but Reasonable Logical Nate had been
tied up and gagged and now Deal By Avoidance Nate was firmly in control.

	Those were the big things going on in my life. But the small stuff
was no less important.

	Carl kept up his habit of showing up at my locker between classes
and talking with me and Vicky. He still never said much at lunch but when
it was just us he seemed really open and sometimes even funny. I had no
idea why he acted so shy around anyone but us but I never asked. I also
started to notice that he'd sometimes be talking with Vicky at his locker
alone when I'd try to meet up with him after the few classes we didn't have
together but he always left before I got close. Vicky never mentioned it
and I never asked but it stuck in the back on my head and I'd find myself
thinking about it at odd times.

	The same week of the Dinner From Hell was also the week of the
return of Skip Williams. I only saw him once and then only briefly before I
turned around and strategically withdrew.....ok fine fled like a pussy in
the other direction but from what I overheard and what other people told me
he'd pretty much been shunned by everyone he used to hang around with. No
one started anymore fights with him but he didn't start anything with
anyone else either. He was almost a nonentity roaming the halls, noticed
but ignored as long as he kept to himself.

	Part of me kinda felt bad for him.

	Like I said before, I didn't talk to my dad since that night but I
did talk to Luke quite a bit. One of the three times my dad called my mom
he managed to pass along Luke's email address before the shouting match
started. We emailed pretty regularly after that and everything I found out
about him made it clear that he'd fit in perfectly with my friends. With
his sarcasm, sense of humor and love of video games he almost seemed like a
shorter Jason in a way. He was fun to talk to, but it was exhausting trying
to keep the conversation away from anything that might lead to girl or
relationship talk. I have no idea how the hell people do this closet thing
their whole lives. It's fucking hard.

	The one mistake I made with him was letting him play Reach with me,
Jason and Vicky. Even though it ripped me apart to do it I made it clear to
both of them that they needed to keep me and Vicky's sexuality and
relationship a secret with him. It didn't seem to bother Vicky at all but
that was ok, I was bothered enough for the both of us. That wasn't why it
was a mistake though. The mistake was ever going against my first instinct
and letting Jason and Luke meet.

	I was totally right about them being alike and it took maybe 5
minutes before they teamed up in the insult game and verbally ripped me and
Vicky apart. It kinda annoyed me. I mean, a little brotherly loyalty would
have been nice, you know? It didn't help that he was better at Reach than
all of us and when it turned into a two on two game (guess the teams...)
the barrage of friendly abuse turned into a tsunami.

	The one good thing to come out of that meeting was that Jason
seemed more like his normal, pre-weirdness self. At least while we were
playing. It was nice and even though I ended the night wanting to punch a
hole through the nearest wall with how pissed I was at how badly I was
getting owned I decided to invite him to play with us again.

	Maybe I'm not such a bad friend after all.

	Like I said though the time passed quickly and now here it was 6
days before the party and Vicky and I still hadn't decided on what we were
going to wear.

	"Why can't we just do Star Trek again?" Vicky groaned as he flopped
back on my bed.

	"Because the costumes they sell at the store are cheap and my mom's
too busy to make them for us. Unless your dad is gayer than we are and can
sew us up a couple of skintight jumpsuits we're out of luck." I
sighed. "Can we just move on from Star Trek, please? We really need to pick
something today or we won't be able to get ready by Sunday."

	"Fine! But no Star Wars!"

	"Awww come on!" I whined. I'd been subtly pushing the Star Wars
alternative for weeks and I thought I was making some headway. "You'd look
awesome as Han. And I could be your bright eyed Jedi farmboy, eager to do
anything he had to to go out and see the galaxy with you." I licked my lips
suggestively.

	Vicky stared at my lips for a few seconds before violently shaking
his head. "No! Your sexyness isn't gonna work on me!" he buried his head in
the nearest pillow.

	"You think I'm sexy?" I asked and shuffled closer to him. I lightly
ran my fingers up his leg and over his hip. I felt him shudder.

	"God, you know I do." He moved his head so he was looking at me
through a curtain of hair with one eye, the rest of his face still buried
in the pillow. It was my turn to shudder. No! Keep strong! Don't let him
counter-seduce you!

	I moved even closer until our bodies were touching before brushing
my lips lightly across the back of his head. "So why are you resisting me?"

	Vicky groaned and turned his head a little more. His other eye was
still hidden by the pillow but his mouth and nose were visible now. "I'm
not." he said softly.

	I leaned in again and barely grazed his lips with mine. "Really?"

	"Ohhhh!" Without warning he grabbed me by the back of my head and
pulled me in for a searingly hot kiss. Our tongues danced and we moaned at
the same time and I could practically feel the blood rushing into my
crotch. "You are so hot." he breathed. Yes! I had him! "But we're still not
doing Star Wars."

	"Gaaaa!" I rolled away from him as he laughed. "You're a bastard."

	"Me? You're the one who got me all hot and bothered trying to get
me to dress up as Han Solo."

	"You'd look hot as Han!"

	"But I don't wanna dress up as Han. If we can't do Star Trek I
don't wanna do Star Wars."

	"Fine!" I growled, then slumped in defeat. He really would have
looked hot as Han too..... "So what do we do then?"

	Vicky thought for a few minutes. "We both like Firefly, right?"

	I considered. "Yeah. Yeah we do."

	"Sooooo?" he trailed off and cocked an eyebrow.

	I sighed. "Ok, it's the next best thing to Star Wars anyway."

	"Ok, so who are we gonna be?"

	"You can be Mal. My hair's too long to pull it off right and you'd
look better in a duster anyway."

	Vicky grinned. "Awesome. So who are you gonna be?"

	"Ummm." I tried to think of a cast member that I could even sort of
pass for. "I got nothing." I said finally, slumping in defeat again.

	"What about Jayne?"

	I gave him a look. "You really see me pulling off Adam Baldwin?"

	"Point." He looked me up and down. "If you cut your hair you could
be Wash?"

	"No way!" I covered my hair protectively. "I look terrible with
short hair. It's not worth it. Even for Halloween."

	Vicky sighed. "Well then I dunno. The only other person you could
be is Kaylee-" I threw a pillow at him. "Ow. Ok, no Kaylee."

	"No girls."

	"Ok, no girls." Vicky agreed. "Even if you would look hot as-" I
threw another pillow. "Ok! Ok! No girls!"

	I grinned. "Good boy."

	"So I guess Firefly's out then?"

	I frowned. "Yeah, guess so."

	Vicky sighed. "Ok, what about Babylon 5?"

	"Never saw it."

	"Stargate SG-1?"

	"We could build the costume from the military stuff at the store
but wouldn't be able to get the SG-1 patches in time. Everyone would think
we're trying to be plain old soldiers and we'd be spending all night
correcting people."

	"Ok. How about Highlander?"

	"Hey, that's a-wait, never mind. We wouldn't be able to get the
swords."

	"Grrr!" Vicky huffed. "We're running out of shows here."

	"Ok, well how about a video game?"

	"Cosplaying as a video game character? The only thing more cliché
would be dressing up as an anime character."

	Well, there goes my next suggestion. "Ok then, how about non sci-fi
movies?"

	"Like Lord of the Rings?"

	"No, like Fast and the Furious or Commando or something."

	"That's...." Vicky broke off and looked thoughtful. "Hey, what
about Simon?"

	"I've never seen it."

	"No, idiot." Vicky threw a pillow back at me. "Simon from Firefly."

	"My hair isn't black." I said like it was the most obvious thing in
the world. Which it kinda was. I mean, my hair is pretty fucking blond.

	"You could dye it."

	"I....." I frowned as I tried to think of an argument for that. I
didn't have one. "I could, yeah."

	Vicky grinned. "Awesome! So we'll go as Mal and Simon?"

	I thought. "Well, I'll have to creative with my hair. It'll be
longer than I want but....yeah, sounds good." I smiled.

	"Great!" Vicky sighed happily. "Fuck that was hard."

	I giggled. "No, that was the easy part. Now we gotta go to Craig's
Costume Castle and put the outfits together."

	Vicky groaned. "Can't we just stay here and fuck?"

	"Nope." I said cheerfully. Happiness at getting Vicky back for
before was enough to help me ignore the sudden boner.

	Vicky groaned again and I felt a bit sorry for him.

	"Buuuuuut," I grinned suggestively. "When we're done we can come
back and try them on. Maybe Simon will disobey Mal's orders and need to
be..." I licked my lips. "Disciplined."

	Vicky swallowed. "How far away is the store?"

--------------------------------------

Ok, so, yeah, you may have noticed the abrupt ending. There's a reason!
This is really Chapter 22 Part 1. It ended up being a lot longer than I
thought so instead of making you wait like another week I decided to split
it in half so I didn't feel rushed. So, ahem, will our intrepid heroes get
their costumes together in time? Will Nate ever find out what's going on
with Jason? Will we finally find out what color Michelle's house is? Tune
in next week(ish) to find out!