Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2007 18:23:37 -0500 (EST)
From: high5fiveme (at) lycos (dot) com
Subject: first and last real friend chapter two

 I am going to continue with this because I got some good responses.  You
don't need to respond but go ahead if you want to. I have decided that I
will finish this because I want to do it.  If you think this sucks and my
writing sucks, I dont care because I have already had enough responses to
know someone likes it and, you know, I think I am writing for myself anyway
to release what I think life is really all about.

 If you are underage, you arent supposed to read this because maybe its
happened to you, and I guarantee it has happened to someone else. So dont
read this because you will find out that others have had the same thoughts
as you do. And that would mean that you and all the others who think like
you do are thinking like that and that is why you might be thinking it
because "it just happens."  So go away and read Hardy Boys because no one
wants you to find out that what you think might be thought by someone
else. And no one wants you to ever think thoughts like this if you haven't
already. And if it has alreay happened that you thinks thoughts like this,
stop thinking them in the future because it is not what culture wants you
to do.  I hope this makes sense because it makes absolutely none to me.

chapter one ending:

Boing!!!  Its up again.  Time to start the sleepovers with this beautiful
kid. I guess time had healed my trauma and I was ready to start preparing
for puberty.  Bring it on and give me that exquisite feeling. The feeling
that relaxes you after a hard days work. The feeling that bonds you with
the person who presumeable gives it to you. Give me dopamine or give me
death was my battle cry after seeing Tom.  Ok....ok....I didnt really learn
that word for another thirty years but if I had known it I would have
yelled it out!  I was a kid who knew what he wanted and how to get it and
besides I always wanted to be a psychiatrist.

Chapter two: First and last real friend continued...

So, now, here I am in this predicament. First day in sixth grade and I get
seated next to this absolutely gorgeous boy....Tommy. My life had been in a
sexually celebate daze for two years since the tauma of discovering my
orgasm and then denying it. But now "The Awakening" had happened. I had no
clue but something in my hormones or in my brain just hit me. I was
hopelessly infatuated with this kid.  I've got designs on the cutest boy in
class. He sits next to me in Mrs. King's class. She was clueless, I hoped,
because she was so old. How could the teacher know how I felt. How could
the other kids have any clue how I felt towards Tommy. Was the goal of my
life now to be teacher's pet and make all "A's" or was it to make friends
with Tommy. Something in my hormonal structure without me knowing it made
me refocus and go for the latter.

Tommy lived only three blocks away as it turned out. He had for a year or
so lived there, but for some reason I had never noticed him. It was strange
how you grow up territorially staying within your neighborhood as small as
it may have been. I had only as a friend the next door neighbor:
Jerry...the little fat kid whom I played with but couldn't be friends with
at school because no one liked him.  My god what an asshole I was because I
had actually told him that we could only be friends after school and not at
school because no one liked him, and if I was a friend at school with him,
no one would like me either.  My cruelty in this case haunts me to this
day. Also, Jerry would have been a great jack off buddie, but we never got
into it cause we were so naive. He tried to talk about sexual things, but I
never would listen still worried about my earlier experience with the
vibrator.  I have some consolence by the fact that I know he used to watch
me through my open window at night jack off once I started that activity,
and also he once mentioned, he had seen me and Tommy together. At least I
can say knowing what I know now that his voyeurism gave him some pleasure
even though I had been so cruel. The cruelty being further compounded by
his acceptance of my rules of friendship. But now that I had discovered
this new friend only blocks away and now that this friend gave me something
more than just playing games, I had to figure how to work out the
relationship.

I knew that getting Tommy as a freind was going to be a lot harder than
Jerry was because he may not want to be my friend. What if he didn't want
me or would be embarassed having me as a friend at school?  I had to
conjure up all my intelligence and coniving abilities to get this kid:
Tommy must become my friend.

 I was not the most beautiful of kids.  I had a well repaired cleft lip
unbeknownest to me psychologically. But it was obvious and had driven the
girls off early in my life which was a blessing for me as I realized
later. But not being a perfect child, I needed to find something else to
get Tommy to come be with me.  No problem for an outgoing aggressive
kid. Afterall, I was teacher's pet immediately.  I flirted with Mrs. King
and answered all the questions faster than anyone else and showed off my
brain every chance I could. Would I have rather showed off my cock to
Tommy...hell yeah....In fact, I used to do that to the boys before my
vibrator attacked me. Brains are pretty worthless at that age.  Later they
can get you cars and houses which help get the guys. But for now, my brains
would have to be used towards plotting, coniving, flirting and basically
planning the ever present male battle on how to get laid. What is amazing
was I was going for that without even knowing what it was.

Regardless of my one little imperfection, I was an ok looking blond. No
idea how tall I was at that age but the same size as Tommy. But I was no
match for his beauty. The beauty that only a blond Arian could have. Oh
boy, how german is that!. Well he was german with a little English in him
to give him the cherub cheeks. I was Irish and German. And if you wanta
know how the fetish works: well, if you parade a blond guy in front of me
to this day, I will turn around and follow like a puppy dog after him. He
is my master.  I am puddy in a blond guy's hands. Suck me! Spank me! Roll
over and play dead...Ok whatever you say!  It has taken some work to accept
different fetishes as I grew older.

There was one other cute boy in class named John. He was an athlete. I
thought he was cute but he was a brunette! I was afraid that Tommy might
hook up with him instead of me, but he seemed to talk at recess with this
other big kid who was quite pudgey. His name was Ronnie and he was a little
feminine acting. You know, he had that kinda sweet way of talking and
walked very gently even though he was huge. As we would play dodge ball or
sports he would have that sort of girly way of throwing. And I swear as he
ran, he seemed to run with a sort of swish to the left and right.  It was
hard for him to finish anything but last because of the distance he had to
run. I was consoled seeing Tom hanging out with Ronnie instead of John who
had his ugly but athletic group.  Surely, I had a chance over Ronnie with
Tom since I was second fastest in the class, class brain in math and soon
to be teachers pet I was sure. So my only adjustment was I had to groom
myself a little more and then figure out how to get him to like me.

At first, I was chicken to approach Tommy on the playground and break into
his relationship with Ronnie. So my encounters were in the classroom
only. I would try to help him with a couple of problems when we were doing
math. He seemed to appreciate the help but the brain thing was more a brain
drain than getting me anywhere. Also, we were separated pretty quickly as
we would get caught talking during quiet time and our laughing while
Mrs. King played "the girls or boys get to go first thingy" that teachers
used to quiet us didn't endear us with the other boys either. It was
probably best Tom got put somewhere else in the room because I might never
have gotten anything done since I would sit and stare at him and get a
hardon which is always a distraction from work.

At home that first couple of weeks, I would notice that if I talked about
Tommy and made a mental picture of him while reviewing my days fun with
next door Jerry, I would get a hardon. Jerry was in another classroom this
year and needed my telling him how much fun I had at school since the day
was always a misery for him.  How strange this whole thing was. I really
couldn't let Jerry know I was fetishing Tommy or was hard, but I felt
compelled to talk in secret ways about about this boy at school I wanted to
get to know. I found I could get rid of my hardon and the spacey feeling by
playing a game with Jerry. Nothing about looking at or being around Jerry
got me hard at all. However, at night all alone in my bed I could think
about Tommy uninterrupted in bed. And if I was on my stomach, I could think
about Tommy and rub my dick against the bed and the sensation would be
incredible. For some reason, if I did this rubbing of my dick while
thinking of Tommy, I didnt have the fear that I had from my traumatic
experience of two years ago. In fact, the whole experience now seemed to be
something desireable and somehow Tommy seemed to be linked to it.

A few weeks passed and I finally found an opportunity to approach Tommy on
the playground where all true relationships began. It was on the jungle gym
which was a domed shaped, strong steel device with lots of rungs and places
to step. The game to play was tag where you had to be on the same rung as
the other person to tag him and make him "it." I dont know how many kids
were on the jungle gym but when I became "it," I know I just chased Tommy
and no one else to get to touch him. Finally, I got him even though he was
very hard to catch since he was very athletic as well as beautiful. The
great thing was he went after me in return and ignored the others. After a
couple of exchanges and a few complaints from the others who weren't
getting chased including Ronnie who was there, too, but whom I ignored, the
bell rang. Tom got down and straightened everything up because he had to be
in good shape all the time with all the clothes neat. He, of course,
carried a comb which he took out and combed his hair. Why he did it, I dont
know because I rarely looked into the mirror or had any reason to look so
good. Clean clothes was all I needed and my mom always took care of that. I
started inside but Tommy came up next to me and put his arm around my
shoulder and said that was fun. He then quickly asked "Do you wanta come
over after school and play." Oh my god, I dont know what happened.  Here I
was the aggressive person, and Tommy had put his arm around me which was
the ultimate in friendship among boys in my days. It meant, hey I like you
and its ok if we touch each other and play together, hang out together,
spend the rest of our lives together!  Well, maybe not quite the latter was
meant, but that is the way I wanted it.

How had this happened? I was doing all the planning and scouting of him and
he made the first move? I don't even remember what I said.  I think I
blacked out. I dont remember anything about that day unless that day was
the day I spent the night at his house. I am sure I must have gone home and
asked my mom if I could go over to his house and if it was a Friday,
probably his mom called mine and said I could stay for dinner and spend the
night. What we did and the games we played and what we talked about that
first time, I have no recollection of, but boy I do remember what happened
when we went to bed.

Tommy's room was upstairs totally isolated from the rest of the house. You
would walk up the stairs and at the top of the stairs was a door.  Hearing
anyone coming was easy because the stairs were wooden and there was no way
for an adult to sneak up on the room without being heard. The door had a
lock on it, too, and it was standard in those days for a boy to lock his
room for some reason when you had friends over. Even though parents were
strict in those days, you always had your privacy behind close doors.  A
boy's room was his, and he could do whatever he wanted in it.  You didn't
even have to keep it clean, but Tom's room was immaculate just as his dress
was impeccable.

 I don't know how long we had been in his room or what games we played
because I was still in a daze but woke up quickly and memory started
working again when we got ready for bed. For some reason most boys seemed
to have double beds in those days. I am not sure if the queen had been
invented yet. Tommy's bed came into full focus in my mind the minute I
dropped my jeans to prepare for bed.  We all slept in our underwear which
was exclusively tighty whities as they say today.

I know that Tommy was the first to take off his shirt in front of his big
dresser mirror. He loved to look at himself in the mirror which was fine
with me because as soon as we started to undress and my mind woke out of
the stupor, I could feel that feeling in my groin, and I was hard as a rock
which I didn't want Tom to see when I took off my pants. He then dropped
his pants and was down to his undies.  I too dropped mine but headed
towards his bed. Tommy hesitated and looked at himself some more and combed
his hair.  My god he had curly hair and it was beautiful; why did he have
to comb it? Just get in bed boy! It was still warm weather at night and the
heat from the house came up into the upstairs. Just a white sheet was all
that was needed to cover us and we had the one window open to let out the
warm air.  The window airconditioner was on the other side of the room in
the other window, but that was not needed on this night.

Finally, after grooming and checking out how his underwear looked on
himself, Tom came and jumped in bed next to me. I was lying on my stomach
pretending that I was falling asleep because that's what you are supposed
to be in bed for and lying on my stomach served two purposes: the most
obvious was to hide my dick's erection and the other was I could sneak
peaks at Tom in his underwear standing in front of the mirror and get these
feelings from my dick by rubbing it ever so slightly against he bed. Tom
was not hard or else had a really small dick, and I couldnt tell. When he
jumped in bed, he immediately snuggled up next to me which sent an absolute
shock through my system. He asked "Are you tired?"  I said "No not really."
So he suggested "Why dont we give each other a back rub and that will relax
us."  How the hell was that gonna relax me?  I was already shooting with
these feelings and my mind seemed so alive. If he touched me, I was sure it
was gonna get worse. I said, though, "Sure!"

I hadn't a chance to raise my arm and take the aggressive movement towards
his back when he put his hand on my back and began to rub sofly with one
hand up and down my back. Of course, I couldnt rub my dick against the bed
now, but it wasn't necessary because I just shut my eyes and pictured him
doing this to me and it served the same purpose. He did it for a minute or
so and said "Ok. Its your turn." Boy how much I wanted to do that even
though I was enjoying the touch of his hand; for some reason, rubbing him
was going to be something I seemed to want to do more than having it done
to me. I reached over and and rubbed his back ever so gently trying not to
make it a tickle but to give him and me a sensation to remember. My mind
shot with wanting to ask to do more. How could I get him to turn over or
how could I touch his butt or anything more.  My dick was throbbing it
seemed as I rubbed his soft back.  So I just went down and rubbed his legs
without asking and hoping I didnt get in trouble. Instead he said "That
feels really good." and he spread his legs. I now had some control over the
situation and continued the leg massage and rubbed between his legs just a
little and as close to his underwear as possible. Then back up to his back
and again came down to the elastic of his underwear wondering how I could
get my hand on his butt. It was all so soft and my state of relaxation was
hitting me more and more having been firing all that dopamine in my brain
projecting my love on this boy, I guess I must have had some kind of orgasm
sending in the serotonin to calm this process down because I began to feel
exhausted.

Tom went "My turn!" Which words brought me back to earth from wherever my
brain firings had taken me. He then rubbed me in exactly in the same manner
and in the same places as I had done. So now I knew I was safe to venture
out to unknown places and see what happens, but you know after this second
massage I was finished and so did Tommy seem to be. Without saying a word,
I just turned my head and fell asleep. I'm afraid I reacted as one does
with a woman after you cum much to their dismay. But, dammit, this was the
beginning for me to find the way I could put myself to sleep for the many
years to follow. It was a nice way and better than sleeping pills, I
guess. And I heard no complaint from Tommy because I assume the same
happened to him that night.

It would be some time though before I figured the whole thing out and what
I was really doing. What's amazing, though, is Tommy was seemingly going to
be my teacher.


Hope this is somewhat enjoyable and a little erotic in places. If it brings
back your own memories maybe that alone is good. I will continue to write
and try to finish this experience of these two boys.