From: an127159@anon.penet.fi
Reply-To: an127159@anon.penet.fi
Date: Sun,  8 Jan 1995 09:17:11 UTC
Subject: my first circle jerk experience

THis is a true story.  And I think it's truly bizarre.  I've only 
recently remembered it and it seems just bizarre.

I was in sixth grade at the Catholic School.  I was only sent there 
because my parents were opposed to having me bussed out of town to go to 
public school.  There was some weird arrangement going on with a nearby 
district to deal with overcrowding.  Well I suppose I went to the 
Catholic School for some other reason too, because I stayed beyond the 
first three grades, which were the ones being bussed away.

I was always a nerdy, skinny kid and the target of any sort of bully that 
came along.  This only made me more nerdy because I thought I could avoid 
the torture by being superior in academics.  I was bullied by a lot of 
kids and it was a small school.  There were only about 20 kids in my 6th 
grade. 

One day a kid named Ricky asked me if I wanted to hang out with him and
about five of the kids from our class.  I didn't quite understand it.  He 
was part of the tough guy crowd.  But he was also kind of dopey.  I 
thought I was safe.  He also had cool things like a bee bee gun.  And he 
lived with his grandmother, so I knew we could probably get away with 
some stuff.  So I said I'd hang out with him and the other boys.

We walked out of the school and were joined by three or four other kids.  
I remember Eddie, Kurt and Jeff.  There may have been others.  Eddie was 
built stocky and strong.  Kurt was skinny like me.  They were all tough 
guys who later went on to drive Camaros and smoke cigarettes.  Here I 
was, the guy who was later voted class intellectual.  Weird.

We started walking to Ricky's house.  T oget there one had to  walk 
through someone else's yard.  We started to walk past the barn of the 
neighboring house, then the boys went into the barn.  We were walking 
into someone else's barn.  My pulse raced.  I was already weirded out 
from not knowing what was going to happen.  

We went up to the second floor and everybody sat down and we started 
talking.  Someone pulled out a bee bee gun, so we all took turns shooting 
out the front of the garage.  It had one of those loft windows.  Then 
someone asked Jeff if he was ready to start.  I got scared.  What would 
Jeff do?  It turned out he was going to give blow jobs to everyone 
there.  Jeff was a fat kid.  And not very bright.  And he wore glasses.  
So did I.  

Someone closed the little door we had been shooting out of and Jeff got 
on his knees and blew someone.  He went down on the two or three boys on 
the couch.  I tried to play it cool and ignore this weird thing that was 
happening.  So did everyone else.  We just kept talking and Jeff took 
turns.  I didn't know what to do.  I was new.  I wasn't sure Jeff was 
really blwoing anyone.  Maybe it was all a big ruse.  Maybe he would blow 
me and when I accepted everyone would call me a fag.  Or maybe he would 
refuse to blow mne and I would be left out.  After he finished Kurt, he 
came over to me and started to take my pants down.  I might still have 
been wering Tuff-Skins at this point.  I was a geek.

He took down my pants, and I faced away from everyone else.  I didn't 
want them to see my penis.  But I REALLY wanted to get a blow job.  I had 
already started masturbating.  In fact I jerked off when I was in about 
3rd grade, I think.  I coudln't get hard, but I could pull on my little 
thing and have orgasms.  It took a long time, though.  All the 
nerovusness and excitement of being with the tough guys in my class and 
not knowing what they would do nexxt had me really horny.

I was standing up because the other boys were more senior than me and 
they got the couch.  

Jeff took my soft penis into his mouth.  His face was red from the 
exertion of blowing 4 boys before me.  And he was salivating heavily.  I 
remember thinking he was kind of fat and ugly.  His spit grossed me out.  
His mouth felt hot, and I thought that was proof that he was really 
blwoing the other boys.  His muscles were very well used.

I told Jeff it felt good.  He blew me for a while and I was totally 
silent.  He was like a worker bee.  He just kept going.  He started to 
slow down like he was going t ostop and I told him to keep going.  I 
didn't know if the other boys could come or not.  I didn't want them to 
know what I did because they might call me abnormal.  

I was still soft.  I couldn't get erections yet.  But it felt great and I 
was close to the point of orgasm.  I asked him to keep going.  He did 
keep going twice, but he finally stopped when I was just short of 
orgasm.  I didn't want to make waves, so I just let him stop and buttoned 
up my soft aching little cock in my jockeys.  I remember his spit was all 
over my crotch region and I thought it was totally gross.  I wouldn't 
have blown anybody, much less five boys.

So we all talked some more about this and that and we all went our own 
separate ways so we could get home for dinner.

That was the first and last time I joined the boys for their kinky little 
rituals.  I heard when I was in high school that that circle continued to 
do that kind of thing.  They used a "fort" built by Jeff's friend Joe.  
Joe went to the public school, so he wasn't there the day in the barn.  
Joe also became really fat as time wore on.  Jeff stayed fat and got 
uglier.  The idea of those two jerking off was really repulsive.  I don't 
know who else did it with them.

I suspect Kurt turned out gay.  He was always into boys and not very into 
girls.  Joe still works for the village public works.  Kurt and Eddie 
went into police training programs.  I think.  

Who knows what they were after when they invited me to the neighbor's 
barn that day.  I liked it, but I didn't know what to do.  

Some time before this Jeff's older brother Timmy asked me (as we were all
swimming in Timmy's pool) if I wanted to corn-hole.  I asked, "What's
that."  He said something really matter of fact like, "I put my dick in
your butt and fuck you."  I said, "OK." so the two of us went upstairs to
the bathroom and he told me to pull down my bathing suit.  I did and he
told me to lay down on a big round cushioned stool.  Timmy was older.  I
really think I was in first grade, which means I was only 6. (I have a
really hard time remembering when things happened, but I think this was
while I was going to the public school -- first grade.) Timmy was old
enough to have a hard on.  I layed down over the cushion and looked at the
floor waiting.  He put something hard between my butt cheeks.  I was very
aware that his penis must be different from mine because it was really
hard.  I didn't see it though.  I clamped my butt hole shut because I was
scared of anything weird happening.  He fucked my butt cheeks for a while,
but it wasn't verry long.  I don't think he came. 

I wish now that he had showed me his thing.  I also wish he had touched 
me.  But he didn't.  He just got up and pulled up his suit and I pulled 
up mine.  We ran down the stairs and jumped into the pool.  Maybe he 
realized we'd be missed from the pool area or something.

I liked the "corn-holing"  It was fun having someone do something to me.

I really was a sex pig as a child.  In first grade, and I kid you not, I
tried to have a brother and sister sleep over at my house.  I didn't care
about the boy, but I wanted to fuck the girl, and I told her so in those
words.  I think I got some kind of devastating early education from my
many older brothers and sisters.  Plus I was always very curious.  I used
to read my sisters' "Our Bodies, Ourselves" for pleasure.  I loved the
pictures of babies being born.  I jerked off to them.  Timmy came over
once, and I showed him, hoping he would like them as much as I did and we
could jerk off together.  Or maybe it was Billy.  Anyway, whoever it was
was into jerking off, but not into the pictures, really.  We didn't get
far, though.  We were both too scared of being found out or of doing
something we both knew was so taboo. 

I still can't believe these things happened.  Not much happened between 
8th grade and 11th grade.  I of course wish I had more experience.

I did sleep over at one boy's house a few times.  He was really eager to 
show me his penis and make jokes about penises.  But his damn mother 
always got pissed off and came up and made us sleep in separate rooms.  
She could hear everything we did through the heating ducts.  We were 
pretty dumb.  I remember one night really wishing he would sneak over to 
the room where I had been banished.  But he didn't.  I took that as 
rejection,.but now I realize he wanted to do it.  I should have just gone 
back and pulled him out of his bed.  

When he showed me his penis, though, it wasn't hard.  And I thought it 
was kind of funny-looking.  I wasn't that turned on by it.

This has veered off the topic some, but it basically is the story of my 
first group all-boy sexual experience.  Not exactly a circle jerk. 

Does that do it for you, tonight?