Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 08:20:58 -0800 (PST)
From: Dewey <dewey2k@yahoo.com>
Subject: Brian and Pete Chapter One

This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys partially
based on real people and events.  Names have been changed to protect the
guilty as well as the innocent.  All the usual rules apply.  If you
shouldn't be reading this now, then don't continue on.

Copyright Notice - Copyright November 2000 by Dewey.

This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights.
This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic, audio,
or otherwise without the authors expressed permission.  All applicable
copyright laws apply.

Brian and Pete
Chapter One
Love and Hate

I stepped off the plane and saw Kevin and Pete there to greet me.  Our
hellos were subdued, but we spoke of everything that had happened while I
had been away, saying goodbye to Danny and Chris, checking out of school,
Brent's unexpected farewell.  Pete caught me up on what was going on at
school.

Apparently word had spread that I was going to be attending classes there.
Prior to my brief return home I had the misfortune of being asked to
demonstrate some wrestling for Pete's Phys Ed class.  The coach matched me
with a junior who happened to be the best wrestler on the team.  Well, I
was a state finalist last year, and when the junior, coincidently named
Brent, tried a sloppy shoot, I took advantage and slammed him. Of course,
he was rather nonplussed that I had taken him down.  He tried to to pick a
fight as I left that day.  He failed, though, because a teacher intervened.

Anyway, Brent was talking shit about how I cheated to bring him down, and
how he was going to kick my ass.  "He's still really pissed, Bri.  You
gonna join the team?"

"Of course!  I love wrestling. You know that."  Pete nodded but still
looked worried.  We both knew I could take Brent in a one-on-one fight, but
it wasn't going to be a one-on-one.  Brent had a group of cronies who would
help him.  Of course, Jason, Pete's adoptive brother, had his own group of
friends who would stand by me if it came to a fight.  I had their
protection.  Time would tell if I would need it.

"I hope you know what you're doing.  He really wants to beat the shit out
of you."

"Don't worry, babe. I can deal with him."

"I know that.  I'm worried about the twenty other guys he hangs with."

"We'll deal with that when we get there.  Really, Pete, there's nothing to
worry about."

He smiled at me and mouthed, "Liar".

We reached the baggage claim after an eternity of walking. Pete helped me
pull my suitcases and a rather large box, which contained some of my
clothes and other personal things I had brought with me.  Between the three
of us and a smartecart, we managed to get everything into the van.  Pete
climbed in the back with me and shut the door.  With the same motion, he
tackled me into the seat, slapping a lip lock on me that you wouldn't
believe, all the while grinding his crotch into mine.  I returned the kiss
and responded in kind.

"Ahem.  Boys, can you save that for the bedroom?  I'd like to get home, and
I don't like the idea of walking around the airport while you two finish."
We gave him a look that said, "What?"  He just shook his head and started
the van, wearing a grin.  Pete and I strapped into the back seat and held
hands the whole way to their house in Hillsboro.  I put my other arm around
him as we drove.

"I missed you, Pete."

"I missed you more."

I grinned at his rejoinder, starting the "Who missed who more" game.  We
must have been annoying Kevin.

He looked back briefly and said, "You guys are sickening.  I thought Sharon
and I were bad." He chuckled.  "Just agree that you missed each other and
leave it at that.  That's the only way I'll get some peace up here."

Pete and I looked at each other, then in one voice said, "Yes, Daddy!"

He laughed, "You two are impossible," and then turned serious.  "I'm glad
you're part of our family- both of you.  I watch you two and have hope for
the world.  You have so much to give.  We're just lucky that we have you.
You guys are so special to us."  I was made distinctly uncomfortable by
Kevin's words.  I didn't think of myself as anything special.  I was just
another kid.  You could pick any kid off the street and compare us.  I had
no remarkable talents.  I made all sorts of mistakes.  I was just a typical
teen.  Wasn't I?

The weather was cool, and threatening rain clouds blanketed the city,
casting a pall over the entire region.  Kevin got us home safely, and
helped us unload the box into Pete's - our - room.  As I tried to leave the
room for my bags, he caught me by my arm and held me back.  Pete went on
downstairs

Kevin pulled me into an embrace, a fatherly hug.  "I'm so glad you are
here.  You and Pete deserve each other."  He released me to arms length,
and then stared into my eyes.  "If you need anything, and I mean anything,
you come talk to me or Sharon.  It doesn't matter if it's something trivial
or something important.  We're another set of parents for you now.  Please
be welcome as our son."  He pulled me back into his arms, squeezing tighter
than last time, and then released me once more.  "Okay?"

"Okay."  His gaze hardened a bit.  "Okay!  I'm fine right now."

"I know.  I can see that.  But we're here, day or night.  Just don't wake
us up with a sex question at two in the morning."  He was grinning again,
and ruffled my hair.  "Go get your other bag.  You had anything to eat?"

"Just a snack on the plane. I couldn't eat this morning.  My stomach
wouldn't handle it."

"I'll whip you up something then.  I'm hungry too."

I met Pete at the front door, struggling to carry one of my suitcases.
"Need help?"

He set the suitcase down. "Nope. Just get the other one."

"Okay."

When I returned with the suitcase, Pete had already opened the other and
was hanging my clothes in the closet next to his.  I sat down on the
suitcase I had been carrying and just watched him for a few minutes.  He
was wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, both of which showed off his
body to good advantage.  His blue eyes and dirty blond hair completed the
package.  He was beautiful.

"What?"  He broke my reverie, startling me a bit.

"Nothing.  Just watching perfection at work."  He smiled shyly as he moved
to where I sat, and raised me up to stand in front of him.  He was quite a
bit taller than me, at five-foot-ten.  I was only five-four.

He looked down into my eyes.  Somehow the fact he was taller than me was
comforting.  I felt safe with him, like he could protect me from everything
evil in the world.  His arms were a shield, keeping me safe, secure.
Looking into his eyes, the love he felt for me was plain, right there on
the surface.  He bent down to kiss me gently, lovingly, with as much
tenderness as I have ever experienced.  He broke the kiss but stayed close,
gazing in my eyes once more.

"I love you so much, Brian.  This is where I belong. I want to spend the
rest of my life with you, if you'll have me."

I looked deeper into his eyes, down to his soul.  This felt so right.  But
what about all this crap I carry around with me?  All the old pain, the old
emotions.  Could I inflict that on Pete?

"I love you too, Pete, but I'm afraid."

"Why?  We are together now and forever.  What is it that scares you?  You
don't want to be with me?"

"No!  I do.  Believe me I do.  I'm afraid that I might hurt you; pull you
down with my past.  I still have so much anger inside and I don't want
to..."  He put his fingers on my lips, silencing me.  He smiled down on me,
and spoke softly.

"Bri, I know you have things that you still have to deal with.  I do too.
But don't you dare go away because you think I can't handle you and what
you're going through.  I want to help you get through that. I'll be here
for you to talk to, to cry with, whatever you need me to do.  I hope you
are willing to do the same for me."

"Of course, but..."

"No buts.  I love you.  That's it.  I'm not going away.  You mean too much
to me for me to ever abandon you."  I rested my head against his chest,
listening to his heartbeat for a few moments.

"Why?"

"Huh? Why what?"  He was confused by my question.

"Why do you love me?  Why do you want to be with me?  I don't have anything
to offer you, I'm so screwed up."

"Brian, can't you see?  Don't you realize you have so much to give that I
can't list it all?  You're a talented athlete, a wiz in school.  You are a
true friend, which is hard to find in this world.  You have heart, courage,
and strength that I envy, having to deal with all that you have.  You have
a confidence that rubs off.  And beside all of that, I love your sexy
body."  He grinned.  I looked deep into his eyes again.

"You really believe that?"

He frowned.  "What do you mean by that?"

"It's just... I've never had someone say those things about me before.  I'm
just an average kid."

"No, you're not.  You're way above average.  To me, you are perfect,
whatever flaws you may insist you have.  I don't care about them.  I care
about you.  I love you, and everything that comes with you.  Do you
understand?"

I understood what he said logically.  Everything he had said was the truth,
and I believed it in my head.  But my heart still felt I was insignificant.
This realization struck something deep inside my soul.

"I understand, Pete.  But my heart doesn't believe I could be worth
anything to anyone."  As the tears started to form, I fell into him and
held him tightly.  Staggering a step, he led me to the desk chair and then
put me in his lap, wrapping his arms around me, comforting me.  I lay my
head on his shoulder as I sobbed.  He stroked my hair and murmured in my
ear that things would be okay, that he would never leave my side.

Sharon chose that time to make an appearance.  She opened the door and
heard me crying.  "Everything okay in here?"

"Fine.  We're fine."  Pete was abrupt, but Sharon could hear the concern in
his voice.  She wisely chose not to interfere, and shut the door as she
left.  Brief though her intrusion was, it brought me back to my senses.  I
got up, rubbing at my eyes, furious with myself for showing weakness,
especially to Sharon.  A few deep breaths and I was my usual stoic self.

"You okay, Bri?"

"No.  But I'll survive."  He frowned as I gave him a false smile.  Pete
understood me better than I gave him credit for.  He also understood what
it was like to feel worthless and insignificant.  Where I still felt that
way, however, Pete had begun to believe, in his heart, that he had worth
and importance.  He knew this kind of thinking could be overcome.  He also
knew I would need help to get there.

"If you want to talk about anything, you know I'll be here, right?"

"Yeah.  I know."  I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes again.  "I hate that."

"What?"

"Breaking down like that.  I should be strong enough to control myself by
now."

"Brian, how many times do I have to tell you that it's perfectly normal and
okay for you to cry?  Crying helps you to release the pain and emotional
stress you carry.  It's a good thing.  And I think it takes a stronger man
to cry than it does one to hide his emotions."

"Maybe..."

"No maybe about it.  It's truth."  I shrugged.

"Okay, so it is.  I'm hungry.  Are you?"  Pete nodded, not certain my
sudden mood change was genuine.

Standing up, I led him downstairs to the kitchen.  Kevin had a plate of
sandwiches on the table, and was heating some soup on the stove.

"I was wondering if I was going to have to come get you two."  He saw my
read eyes and shot Pete a glance I wasn't supposed to see.  I wasn't
supposed to see Pete shake his head in response either.  "Well, soups on.
Help yourself."  And that I did. Two bowls of soup and three sandwiches
later, I was stuffed.

"You sure you don't have a black hole for a stomach?  I thought Pete could
put it away, but you..."

"I'm a growing boy!  I also use a lot of energy, so I have to eat a lot to
keep it up."

"Pete, I think I'm going to start charging you for your boyfriend's food.
Otherwise we'll go broke just keeping him fed."  Kevin grinned at me.

"If you really need it, I'll pay.  But then we'll expect service, too."
Pete was grinning at Kevin, who was considering me with an appraising eye.

"I think, for the moment, we'll be able to feed him.  But if he eats much
more than he has already, I may just take you up on your offer.  As for
service, you'll have to service each other!"  Kevin was trying to stifle a
giggle and was failing miserably.  My bright red blush only encouraged him.

Pete, wearing a smirk, said, "We've been doing that anyway, Kevin.  Why
should I pay extra for something I'm getting for free?"  I blushed even
more.

"Okay, you win this round.  Sorry Brian, but I couldn't resist."

"It's okay."

"You sure?  If I am embarrassing you, let me know."

"Oh, I'll let you know alright."  I smiled.  "You'll know when I get my
retribution.  Locking you outside in your shorts would be a fitting
revenge, don't you think, Pete."

"Uh, Kevin?  I don't think you want to be on Brian's bad side.  He doesn't
play fair."

"I'll take that as a challenge then, Brian.  May the best man win!"

"I intend to."  We shook hands, both of us smirking, already formulating
plans.

The rest of the day was spent unpacking and preparing for my first real day
at school.  I had my clothes already, and most of my school supplies, so we
had no shopping to do.  After dinner, I begged off as tired and went to our
bedroom, hoping Pete would follow.  I stripped to my shorts and climbed in
bed.  About twenty minutes later, Pete came in, closing the door behind him
as he entered.

"You were talking to Kevin and Sharon about me."  A statement.

"They're worried about you, Bri."

"I know.  I can tell.  I don't know what to do about it though."

"I'm worried about you, too."

"I'm sorry.  I have a lot of things to learn, things to get used to.  I'm
not ready to talk to them yet.  Maybe in the future, but not now."

"Are you afraid to talk to me?"

I didn't answer immediately. I gave his question serious thought before I
replied.  His expression changed from concern to worry as the silence
stretched on.  "Sometimes."

"Why?"  He undressed as I pondered his question.

"Because I'm scared I'll say something to ruin what we have.  I love you,
Pete.  So much it hurts.  I don't want to do anything to screw it up.
Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start, and
that if I do start, I won't be able to stop.  I'm scared you'll see me as a
weak person and not want to be with me any more."

Pete switched off the lights and climbed in to bed with me.  He pulled me
to him, and I rested my head on his shoulder as he stroked my hair.  His
voice was soft.

"Brian, I though we had covered this, and I thought you believed me, but I
can see now that I was wrong.  It's not your fault," he said as he silenced
my objections, "it's just who you are.  I know now that you need to feel
something to believe it, and you have to see and hear it over and over. So,
here it goes.

"You are my life, Brian Andrew Kellam.  I love you.  I love your mind, your
personality, your body, the way you frown when you're thinking hard, the
way you kiss me when you're in a tender mood.  I love that you feel safe
enough with me that you can cry.  There is so much else I could tell you.
But I know that hearing it isn't enough for you to believe it.  I can only
think of one way to show you how much I love you."  I caught his meaning
and responded immediately, raising my head to face him.

 "No!  We are going to wait just like we planned!  I know you love me.  You
show it all the time.  I'm not going to let you do that just because I
can't make my heart believe.  That you are willing to give that up proves
it to me."  He rolled onto his side, facing me.

"I want to, Brian.  I want to do this for you."

"No!  I don't want you to do it because you feel sorry for me!  I want it
to be special."

"It would be."

"No!"

"Okay, Bri.  I won't mention it again.  What can I do then?"

I smiled and pulled him close.  He was naked, and aroused.  "Surprise me."

* * * * * The alarm went off too early.  Pete had jumped to turn it off,
and then came back to bed, putting his arms around me.  "Morning, Bri.
Ready for school?"

"No.  I don't want to get out of bed.  I want to stay here with you all
day."  I hugged him to me, adding emphasis to my words.

"Hey, I don't want to get up either.  I'd rather stay here and play with
you all day," I returned his grin as he continued, "but Sharon will be up
here any moment to get us out of bed and make sure we're ready for school."

"Okay, okay, lets get up before I change my mind."  I gave him a quick peck
on the cheek (morning breath, you know) and rolled away from him.

Sharon knocked on the door as I opened it to get my shower.  Seeing Pete
was moving around behind me, she said, "Good!  I'm glad I don't have to
pull you guys out on the floor.  Some people just don't wake up."

"I'm not that bad!" Kevin had heard her from their room, and if anybody had
been asleep, they were awake now.  I chuckled as I started the water.  As
usual, I took a very short shower, dried, and returned to the bedroom to
get dressed, passing Ray as I did so.

"Morning, Ray."

"Morning, Brian."

"How's Jared?"

He blushed slightly "Um, he's fine.  He asked about you on Saturday.  I
told him you'd be at school today."

"You two getting pretty close, huh?"  His blush deepened.

"Uh, yeah.  You could say that.  I spent Friday and Saturday at his place."

I grinned knowingly.  "I hope you two enjoyed yourselves."

His eyes glazed over.  "Yeah, we did.  I had no idea it could be like
that."

"I know what you mean, Ray.  Better get your shower.  Don't want to make us
late, do you?"

"No, I'll go."  His eyes still had that vacant look.  I couldn't help but
chuckle.

Dressed and prepped, I went down stairs to the kitchen for breakfast.  Pete
was just heading into the shower as I had left the room.  Kevin and Sharon
were already eating, so I got my own plate, then another, and was filling
my third as Pete came down with Ray.  Neither of them said more than, "Good
morning," as they made a beeline for the food.  Kevin chuckled and shook
his head.  You would think after raising two boys through puberty he'd know
what to expect with us three.  Guess not.

"It's a good thing I fixed extra food.  With you three around, we may have
to get a bigger fridge."  Sharon was grinning too.  "You look good Brian.
Isn't that the outfit Pete got you?"  Pete's concentration broke as she
mentioned my clothes.  I though he'd given himself whiplash as fast as he
had turned his head.

"Yeah, it is.  I really like it.  Maybe I can get a few more shirts and
some Dockers to go with them."

"Yeah, I'll help you pick them out!"  He was grinning at me, and I smiled
back.  He was so damn beautiful!

"Hey you two, save it for the bedroom."  Ray once more being his annoying
self.

"Is that where you and Jared saved it for?  I seem to remember you saying
something about a shower..."

"Hey!  I didn't say anything about the shower!"

"You aren't denying it though?"

"Why should I?"

"Boys, enough!"  Kevin was trying to read his morning paper as we bickered.
"As much as I'd like to know the sordid details of your sex lives, I don't
think now is the best time to tell me."

Jason made his appearance.  "Tell you what, Dad?"

"He's asking me about my sex life."

"Yeah, right Ray.  Dad asking you about your sex life.  Or your lack of
one."  Jason was grinning.  We all loved to needle Ray, who was looking
from person to person, his frustration clearly showing.

"Fine!  I'll save the rubbers for you!"

"It wouldn't mean anything.  You probably fill them in your room alone,
anyway." Jason was playing this to the hilt.

"I said enough!  And don't you even think of saving anything, Ray.  You're
going to be late for school.  Get a move on.  Speaking of late, where is
Joanne?"

Between mouthfuls, Ray said, "I woke her up as I came down, Dad.  She
probably went to sleep again."

"I'll get her.  I'm done anyway."  Sharon rose to wake Joanne once more.

"Hey Brian, are you going to go out for the wresting team?  They already
started practicing a few weeks ago."

"I want to.  We'll see what happens."  I turned to Jason.  "Do you think
there'll be any trouble?"

"Could be.  I let everyone know you were coming to school today.  We'll
help you figure out what to do."

"Excuse me, but is there something I need to know?"

"It's okay, Dad.  We can handle it."  Kevin eyed all of us.

"If anyone gets hurt, I'm going to be upset."

I was already going into battle mode.  Anticipating the inevitable
confrontation had my adrenaline going already, so my reply to Kevin wasn't
one of the most intelligent things I have ever said.  "I won't hurt anyone,
unless they try to hurt me."

Kevin's eyes narrowed.  "Brian, you and I need to talk tonight, after you
get home from school.  There are some questions I have for you."  I
shrugged, unconcerned.  His eyes hardened, like I was telling him to fuck
off or something.  Maybe I was, after a fashion.

"Alright, let's go."  We finished our juice or crammed that last mouthful
as we rose.  The four of us put on our jackets, and got in the minivan.

The weather was cold.  Ice had formed on the windshield of the van, and our
breath came out as clouds.  Kevin started the engine and then scraped the
ice.  He finished in short order and then drove us to the highschool.

Once there, Kevin came in to register me for my classes. I turned out the
only classes Pete and I had together were first period English, fourth
period PE, followed by lunch, and seventh period Biology.  It was probably
best that we weren't in the same classes all day long.  We'd never have
gotten anything done.

Kevin pulled me aside at my locker, as I got ready to go to my third period
class.  The first two periods had passed as we dealt with the red tape.  He
hadn't said much to me the whole morning.

"Brian, I want you to stay out of trouble.  If anything happens, talk to a
teacher and have them call me."

"I won't start anything.  But I'm not running away either."

Again he gave me a measuring look.  "Brian, sometimes it takes a stronger
man to walk away from a fight than it does to actually fight back."

"I know, but I didn't do anything in the first place.  I just won a
wrestling match fairly and by the rules.  He can't handle the fact I beat
him.  I'm small; I look like an easy mark.  I made a statement.  Everyone
will take me seriously."

"You're going about this the wrong way.  You should have..."

"I may be going about it the wrong way, but this is how it is going to be.
I can't take it back, and I won't apologize to him."  A short pause as I
scuffed my feet on the floor.  "I have to get to class.  I'll see you
tonight."  Deliberately turning my back on him, I walked into my World
Studies class without a backward glance.  I could only imagine what Kevin
was thinking.

Third period was boring.  Most of the material I had covered already back
at my old school.  Fourth period was interesting, though.  I had the same
class as Pete, and that prick Brent Hodges.  The class had finished the
wrestling unit, which was disappointing, but probably for the best.  Today
we were playing basketball.  Another favorite of the short guys, namely me.
Fortunately, the coach had the wisdom to group us by height as much as
possible.

The instructor, I found out, was also the wrestling coach.  He welcomed me
to class, and asked me if I was going out for wrestling this year.  I said
I'd like to, so he told me to come to practice tomorrow morning.  I had to
be at the gym by six, which might not be possible.  I'd have to talk to
Kevin and Sharon about how to get there, so I told the coach I'd make it if
I could.

Brent was not in attendance that day, so the class went smoothly.  Leo, the
guy I had scrapped with after I slammed Brent, ended up on my team.  He
asked if I was going to go for the wrestling team, and I told him I would
try to, if I could get a schedule that would allow it.

"Cool!  I like sparring with you.  You taught me a lot."  Leo was a black
kid, a bit taller and heavier than me.  I knew we would be good friends the
last time I saw him.  He was open and friendly, which I liked.

"You taught me some things I didn't know, too."  He grinned in disbelief.

"Okay, whatever you say."  He passed me the ball and the game started.  I
didn't see much of Pete that class, but just knowing he was there put me
more at ease.

 I first caught sight of Brent at lunch.  He was sitting at the same table
with his cronies, none of which spotted me.  Pete and I were halfway done
when Jason, Jared, and Ray joined us.  Everyone made their greetings, and
the banter started.

"Hey Jared.  Ray was telling us about what a great weekend you had!"

"Yeah.  He said something about a shower?"  Jared blushed furiously, and
gave Ray the evil eye.

"I swear I never said anything, Jar.  Never.  These guys don't have a
clue."  Ray looked like he was really panicking.

Jared smiled.  "It's okay.  I don't mind if they know.  Just don't noise
about it to anyone else, okay?"  Ray returned the smile, and conversation
began anew.  I took the chance to look around at the other people in the
cafeteria.  If the room were different, it could be my old school.  Hell, I
even thought I could recognize some of the people.

After lunch, Pete and I split up again, him going to World History, and me
to Algebra II.  Mr. Thomas was still his absent-minded self I observed last
week when I came here with Pete.  I introduced myself, causing a moments
confusion as he tried to remember where he had heard my name before, but we
quickly settled that.  I took my seat in the rear of the class, content to
hide out in the back.  Math wasn't very difficult for me.  I picked up on
it very easily.  I did that with most subjects.  He gave a fairly large
assignment, but I finished over half of it before the class ended.

On the way to my locker in the English wing, I caught sight of Brent again.
He was standing outside of the computer class talking to one of his
friends.  Rather than be intimidated, I walked past him to my locker,
retrieved my books for Biology, and returned the same way toward the
Science wing.  If Brent saw me, he gave no sign.

I met Pete at his locker.

"Hey Bud."

"Hey Pete.  How was History?"

"Boring.  Why do we have to learn the Sumerian number system?  Of what
possible practical use could that be?"

"I know.  I was thinking that same thing this morning."  Pete shut his
locker, and motioned to head for the Science wing.

"Have you seen Brent?"

"Yeah.  I passed him on the way to my locker."

"Did he see you?"

"I don't think so."  He paused for a second.

"You're going to have to do something."

"I know!  Jesus, why does everyone keep telling me what I already know!"
We walked the rest of the way in silence.

Entering the class, I stopped to reintroduce myself to the instructor,
Mr. Griffith.  He remembered me and was happy to see me return.  I took a
seat at one of the lab stations toward the rear of the room.  All the
tables were full, two people per table, three tables per row, three rows
deep.  Running around the sides of the room were six lab stations with four
seats each.  I was the second person seated at a lab station.  Pete took
his seat in the middle of the second row.

Biology was my favorite class in school besides Phys Ed, so the teacher had
my rapt attention.  That day we were studying mitochondrion.  I remember
that specifically because Mr. Griffith had to call my name a few times to
get my attention.  He had asked me a question, which I answered.  Guessing
correctly, he told me that the book was only half of the class, and it
would help if I listened to the lecture as well.  I had been lost in the
book, after all.

Class proceeded without further incident.  When the bell rang, everyone
gathered up their books to leave. One person caught my attention because he
literally ran from the lab station near me out the door.  I thought I
remembered his face from the cafeteria, but nothing specific came to mind.
I also caught Mr. Griffith's gaze follow him out, his expression oddly
mixed between annoyance and... sadness?  Very strange.

After gathering my things, I walked up to the instructor's desk.  He looked
up as I approached, an expectant expression on his face.  Pete stood off to
one side.

"How can I help you, Mr. Kellam?"

"Actually, I wanted to apologize.  I was so deep into the book that I
didn't hear you. I'm sorry."

He grinned broadly.  "That's fine, Brian.  But as I said, the lecture is
important as well.  I give out information that isn't in the text, so you
should take notes."

"I will."

"Good.  And Brian?  Don't worry about it.  If all my students ignored me
for that reason, I'd be a much happier teacher."

"Thanks, Mr. Griffith."

"Have a good day."

Pete and I went back to his locker, where he packed his backpack with the
books he needed for homework.  He then followed me to my locker as I did
the same.  We turned toward the office where we would meet Kevin or Sharon.
As we walked that short distance, I heard a shout behind me.

"Patterson!"

"C'mon Brian.  Lets move."

I didn't hesitate to follow his lead.  We quickly walked out of the Tech
wing and into the admin wing, leaving whomever it was calling after Pete.
Just as we came abreast of the office itself, I heard heavy footsteps
behind us.  An arm fell on Pete's shoulder and whipped him around.

"I'm talking to you, Patterson.  You don't turn your back on me!"

I turned around at a leisurely pace with a smirk on my face.  "Hello,
Brent.  Is there a problem?"

"You!"

"Me?  I'm nobody's problem, unless they want to make me their problem.  So
what's up?  You had a question for him?"  I pointed at Pete with my thumb.

"You and I have a score to settle, kid."

"Maybe.  I'm saving it for the mat.  How about you?"  His glare was so
menacing and his jaw so tight I thought he might break a tooth.  "Do you
have a question or not?"  No response, just more daggers.  "No?  Okay then,
we'll be on our way.  Come on, Bro.  Lets go."

Pete turned around and went outside.  I backed off three or four steps to
give myself some maneuvering room just in case Brent did something stupid.
Still smirking, I said, "See you around, Brent."  I then turned and
followed Pete out.  In my peripheral vision, I saw the vice principal
watching the exchange.  I met his eyes briefly on my way out, receiving an
inscrutable stare in return.

The van was waiting for us.  Jason, Ray, Jared, and Pete were already in,
leaving me the seat by the sliding door.  As I was settling in, Brent came
out to glower at me.  Before I could close the door, he yelled, loud enough
for all to hear.

"You're dead! You hear me?  Dead!"  I waved to him with a grin and shut the
door.  Kevin drove off and got on the road to home.

"Okay, spill it.  What happened back there?"

"I think I surprised Brent.  He wasn't very happy to see me."  I thought
that was a rather innocuous answer, but Pete took it further.

"We were walking out and Brent saw me, started calling me as we walked
away.  We just kept walking until we got to the office, where he caught me.
He was yelling at me, and Brian turned around."

"And?"

"And nothing.  Brian talked to him, asked him what he wanted.  When he
didn't answer, we left."

"So, if that's all that happened, why did he come out to threaten you,
Brian?"

I shrugged.  "I don't know.  He seems to think we have something to settle
between us.  I think he was upset I wasn't frightened by him."

"Did you say anything to taunt him?"

"I didn't think so.  Do you, Pete?"

"Well, you were kind of condescending."

"I was?"  He nodded, and I grinned.  "I'll be sure to apologize next time I
see him."  Pete gave an exasperated sigh, crossed his arms and looked away
from me.  Maybe I had gone too far.

"Brian, don't get cocky.  That kind of attitude can incite people to do
things they normally wouldn't do."

I responded to Kevin's statement, a bit of heat in my voice.  "What am I
supposed to do, roll over for him?  I'm not scared of him, and I don't want
him thinking I am.  I just showed him that I wasn't worried about him."

"By taunting him beyond his endurance?"

"So what?  He's an asshole.  He deserves to get his ass beat.  I can deal
with him.  I don't need your help."

He turned around, a pissed look on his face.  "Drop the attitude. Now.
We'll talk about this when we get to the house."  If there was one sure way
to anger me, it was to tell me I had no right to voice my feelings.  I had
a right to express my emotions, and he'd just told me I couldn't.  Talk
about pushing buttons.  I crossed my arms and clammed up, watching the
passing buildings.  I didn't respond to any further comments.  I didn't
even react to Pete's hand resting on my leg.  It was unfair, and probably
hurtful to him, but I was pissed, and wrapped up in my own thoughts.

I was first out of the van and inside, proceeding directly to our bedroom
to drop my stuff off.  To agitated to sit, I paced back and forth until
Pete came in a few moments later.  He dropped his backpack on the bed, and
then came over to me.  I forestalled whatever his action was, holding up my
hands.

"Not now.  I can't.  Not when it's like this."  His face fell, betraying
the hurt he felt, but he let me be, leaving the room and closing the door
behind him.  Not more than a minute later, Kevin burst through the door.

"Office.  Now."  In the short time I had known him, I had never seen him
angry.  He was beyond angry right now, face and neck red, veins standing
out at the temples.  His hands were on his hips, waiting for me.  I took my
time, and ambled over to the office, much to Kevin's irritation.  Once in
the office, he slammed the door behind him.

"Sit."

"I'll stand, thanks."  I think he was surprised at my defiance, because he
stopped short in his stride and glared even harder at me.  I put on my
poker face and returned his glare with an impassive expression, even though
I too was angry.  I don't like being ordered around.

Kevin continued to stare daggers at me for several minutes as I stood
there, feigning indifference.  I could see the frustration in his
expression grow to a fever pitch, then fade away, replaced by concerned
weariness.

"You two are so much alike.  Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?"  His
comment didn't seem to warrant a response, so I remained quiet.  "Please,
Brian, sit down."  He took one of the chairs in front of his desk, rather
than the one behind it where he normally sat, and turned it to face the
other chair.  I hesitated a second longer than necessary, and then took the
chair.  I still wanted to maintain some control over the situation.

"Do you know, there was a time a year or so ago, where Pete battled us for
control of his life?  Sharon and me.  He was so afraid to accept us as his
parents because he thought he would lose all his autonomy.  But, that's not
the way things are supposed to work.  You see, parents have the job of
protecting you from yourself.  Pete and you have both grown up in difficult
circumstances, without a strong family influence.  You are used to making
your own decisions.  You did fine with what you had to work with, but
things are different now.

"You are entering a new world, Brian.  A new world you haven't had much
time in.  There are so many new issues that have to be considered beyond
petty schoolyard squabbles.  You aren't a kid anymore.  You are still a
boy, but on the verge of becoming a man.  This new world is much more
complicated and confusing than the world of your childhood was.

"As kids grow older, they learn to use the power of their bodies and the
cunning of their minds to carve out their place in society.  The boys who
were bullies in grade school can become dangerous, because they have the
body of a man, but lack the restraint of an adult.  Brent could very well
be capable of killing you, or gathering a group of people who could do so."
I rolled my eves slightly, showing how likely I thought that to be.

"It's true Brian.  All they need is a reason to hate, and you've given
Brent a big reason to hate you.  You shamed him in front of a group of
underclassmen.  I am guessing that the story spread as soon as that class
let out, and I am sure he took a lot of heat from his so-called friends for
getting slammed by a puny sophomore.  All of that will take a toll,
especially if he is used to being in a position of power, garnered by the
respect he earned as that schoolyard bully.  You proved he's not that
tough, you see?  You have destroyed a reputation that took him years to
build.  That is why he hates you."

"I can't do anything about any of that now.  I know he could hurt me if he
got a group together, but I am not afraid of him."

Kevin looked into my eyes for a moment, then dropped his gaze and shook his
head.  "So much alike. You two truly belong together."  He raised his eyes
again.

"Brian, are you afraid of dying?"

"Huh?"

"Are you afraid of dying?"

"I...  well, yeah, I am, kind of."

"Why is it that, of two men, one twenty and one thirty, the twenty year old
is more likely to kill himself accidentally?"

"Probably because the twenty year old does more stupid things than the
older guy."

"Why?  What makes the younger different from the older.  And I don't mean a
number.  What is it in the older man's personality that makes him more
safe?"

"I don't see where you're going, Kevin."  He sighed.

"Why does the twenty year old take more risks that put his life in danger
than the thirty year old?"

"Like I said, he's stupid."

"He's not afraid of dying.  That's why he does the stupid stuff.  He
doesn't know that he can die, really.  He says, 'It can't happen to me,' or
'that happens to other people, not me,' when in reality he is just as much
at risk as the next guy.  The thirty year old has seen these things happen,
either to himself or his friends.  He has learned caution because he is
aware of his own mortality.

"Brian, you, Pete, Ray, and even Jason, don't have those life experience
behind you, to help you make safe choices.  You feel immortal, just like
that kid last week that got hit by that train he was racing.  He died.

"You have a choice here.  Do you race that train and put yourself in a
position to be hated, a position of danger, or do you stop before the
tracks, be safe, and try to defuse the situation?"

I met his gaze evenly.  There was almost a pleading aspect to his words.
He was afraid that I would put myself in a position where I would be
vulnerable to Brent's attack.  I understood now what he had been trying to
say.  I was so sure of my ability to defend myself against Brent in a
fight, I was ignoring all the other possibilities that existed.  He could
bring a gun and shoot me, or stab me or... whatever.  Kevin was right, as
usual.  We weren't children anymore, but man-children capable of anything,
with no fear of the consequences.

As Kevin had made his speech, all the tension had drained out of me as my
adrenaline was used up, leaving me feeling tired and shaky.  "What do I do,
Kevin.  He wants to fight me.  I don't see any other way to settle this
than to go through with it.  He's too angry."

"That's something I can't help you with Brian.  I can guide you, but I
can't solve the problem for you.  That is something you and the others must
figure out for yourselves.  But I want to know if it goes beyond a
schoolyard dispute.  If there are weapons involved, I want to know about it
before you do.  If there is going to be a gang war over this, I want to
know.  At least I can make the school aware of what is going on."

"The vice principal saw what happened today.  I passed him on the way out."

"I hope he saw the whole thing."  He leaned forward, placing his hands on
my knees.  "I'm sorry for my response, Brian.  I was already on edge when
Brent yelled at you, and I reacted badly to you in the van."

"It's okay.  I just get angry when I feel like people challenge what I do."

"That's my job though.  I'll try to make it less confrontational next
time."

"And Kevin?  Please don't tell me to stuff my anger.  Something you said
pushed buttons.  I...  I don't do well when that happens."

"I'll try to keep that in mind, Brian.  You should probably talk to Pete.
He was pretty hurt.  I think he was crying."

"Yeah, I'd better."  I ran my hand through my hair.  "I wasn't very nice to
him; he deserves better."  I stood to leave, and Kevin rose with me.  There
was an awkward silence between us until I stepped inside his embrace.  We
hugged briefly, then parted.  I went out to look for Pete as Kevin sat
behind his desk to finish up some work.

He wasn't in our bedroom, nor was he downstairs in the kitchen.  I caught
Jason fixing an after-school snack.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine.  Where's Pete?"

"He went for a run."

"In the rain?"  Jason nodded.  "It's freezing out there.  Where does he run
usually?"

"Up around the park and back.  Maybe around the block behind.  Depends on
the day."

"Thanks, Jason."  I ran back upstairs to our room, put on a running suit,
and headed out to find my lover.

I followed the path Jason had told me about, but I didn't see Pete
anywhere.  I kept running, around the block behind the park, and around the
blocks on either side.  He was nowhere to be found.  Disheartened, I
returned to the park and sat on the bench, looking over the grass and
ignoring the downpour.  The ducks were out, waddling across the field,
without a concern in the world.  I watched them for a while, until I saw
Pete across the park in his bright yellow running suit.  He was going up
the other side of the park, circling around to where I was.  I took off
toward him, stopped under a fir tree along the side of the path, and leaned
against the trunk to wait for him.

Pete ran toward me at an unhurried pace, not changing his speed in the
slightest.  As he passed me, I joined him in his run, matching his pace
stride for stride.  Neither of us said a word as we worked our way back to
the house, accelerating slightly for the last half-mile or so to stretch
out the legs, then walking the last hundred yards as a warm- down, still
silent. Neither of us had even looked at the other.

We walked around behind the house to the utility room and stripped off our
wet clothes.  We finished about the same time, and just stood there.  I had
screwed up, so it was my responsibility to set things right.  I brought my
eyes up and briefly met his gaze, then dropped them to the floor.

"I'm sorry Pete.  I turned you away when you hadn't done anything to
deserve it.  I didn't mean to hurt you.  I guess I have a long way to go,
learning how to keep my anger and frustration out of what we have together.
A lot of growing up to do.  You deserve better, Pete.  I'll try to give it
to you."

I closed my eyes, still looking down.  He didn't say anything.  I didn't
move.  At last, his hand lifted my chin so I faced him, but I still didn't
open my eyes, afraid of what I would see on his face.

"Bri, you did hurt me." I tightened my eyes in pain at his words.  "You
hurt me, but I'll get over it.  Sometimes things like this happen.  I know
you didn't want to hurt me, that you wouldn't do it intentionally.  Look at
me."  I opened my eyes, immediately losing myself in those liquid blue
pools.  "I- love- you.  Nothing is going to change that, not even this tiny
little thing that is over and forgotten.  There will be a time when I hurt
you, but I never will intentionally try to, okay?  I know you would never
intentionally hurt me either.  So here's what we are going to do.  I am
going to forgive you, and you are going to forgive yourself.  Now come
here."

We fell together into a cold, clammy embrace, but as frozen as we were, the
heat of our love kept us warm.

* * * * *

Again with that accursed noise.  Wasn't there a more gentle way to wake up
in the morning?  I felt cold air on my back as Pete rolled away from me to
turn off the alarm.

"Better get up, Bri.  You don't want to be late for practice."

"Oh, man, I completely forgot.  Thanks for remembering, babe."  I reached
over and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead (morning breath, you know).
I grabbed my gear, which I hadn't unpacked since I arrived here in
Portland, and headed downstairs to take in a light breakfast.

Kevin was waiting for me in the kitchen.  Dressed in sweats and drinking
coffee, he looked terrible, all bleary eyed and half asleep.  He grunted
his greeting as I toasted my bread and poured my juice.

"Morning, Kevin.  Are you sure you are up to driving me?  You look beat."

"I'm fine.  I'm just waiting for the caffeine to kick in."

"Well, I hate to ruin your plans, but I need to be there early today."

"Humph.  Okay, let's go so I can come back and go to bed."

I laughed.  "Sure.  Uh, if this isn't going to work, I can see if someone
from the team will pick me up for practice in the morning."

"If you like.  Actually, I used to get up at this time every morning when I
was working regular days at the firm.  I should probably get back into the
habit."

"Whatever.  Let's go before you fall over."

Kevin chuckled and followed me out into the frigid morning.  Ice had formed
on the windshield, and our breath clouded the air in front of us.  The sky
was overcast and threatening rain, judging by the light reflected off the
cloud cover from the city.

"Maybe I can find a path to run to school."

"I'd rather you didn't," Kevin grunted as he scraped, "It's a long way out
there by foot, and I don't want you getting up at four-thirty in the
morning to make your run and then practice.  You need your sleep just like
the rest of us."

"Okay, okay.  I'll just have to make sure that I get my run in after
school."

"That'd be fine.  Speaking of school, though, have you decided what you are
going to do with Brent?

"I think so. I just hope he'll take me up on it.  I'll let you know this
afternoon."

"You make sure that you do.  I want to be informed every step of the way.
If the situation is going to explode, I want to know before it happens."

"Alright, already!  I get the point."

"Good.  Now get in.  I wanna take a nap."

"Just wait until after you drop me off, okay?  I don't want to die, and I
definitely don't want to die next to you!"  I grinned as I spoke, and Kevin
took that for the jest it was meant to be.

"Yeah, well, the feelings mutual.  If I'm going to die, I don't want some
pretty boy making me look uglier than I am."

"Pretty boy?  Me?"

"Yeah, you.  Face it, kid.  You've got a face that'll turn heads."

"Well, that may be, but there's only one head I'm worried about turning."

"And I don't think you have to worry about that.  Pete's been yours since
the day I met him."  I let the conversation lapse into silence,
uncomfortable with the change of topic.

We arrived at the highschool just as the drizzling black sky overhead
turned a shade of dark grey.  I thanked Kevin for the ride and received a
pat on the head for my trouble.  I acted upset, but it was strangely
comforting knowing that he cared about me.  As I watched him drive off, I
took a deep breath preparing for the unknown that awaited inside the gym.
Shrugging off my anxiety, I entered.

The locker room was empty except for Coach Knowells, who was sitting in his
office.  He looked up as I approached, then looked at his watch as he came
out to greet me.

"Morning, Kellam.  You're here early, you know.  Practice doesn't start
until six."

"I know, but I have something I need to do beforehand.  What time does
Brent usually get here?"

"What do you want with him?  The way I hear it, he wants to kill you."

"We're on the same team.  I want to avoid having to hurt him, or him hurt
me."

"Hmmm.  I don't know how you might do that, but I'll be keeping a close eye
on you today."

"Fine, but please don't interfere.  I have to do this."  He eyed me
appraisingly.

"I won't unless one of you hurts the other."

"Thank you.  Now what time does he come in?"

"Late usually.  About six-twenty or so, after we have finished our
running."

I didn't respond to that tidbit of information.  I could already see how
this team was going to be run.  If you were special, you got special
treatment.  I hated being on those teams, because I thought it unfair if
anyone on the "team" got out of the "team's" work.

"Well, I'll get dressed down then.  I have my headgear and shoes already."

"Okay.  I'll be in my office."

Over the next twenty minutes or so, people started coming into the gym and
began stretching out.  Leo caught sight of me first thing, and we stretched
out together, preparing for the morning run.  At six sharp, Coach Knowells
blew his whistle.

"Sixty laps!  Go!"  And off we went.  Sixty laps was a little under three
miles, I figured out later.  Nothing more than a moderate jog, but the
flight of stairs in the middle of the lap made things a bit more difficult.
I ended up ahead of the pack, a few of my new teammates keeping up with me.
By the time we finished, we had lapped some of the bigger guys and
freshmen.  We fell out to the center of the court, stretching and breathing
hard, waiting for the rest of the team to finish.  When everyone had
completed their laps, we pulled out the mats.  They were heavy, taking the
whole team to lift them down to the floor and position them properly.  As
soon as all the mats were in place, true to the coach's word, Brent walked
in.

"Partner up!  Kellam, Hodges, you two right here where I can watch you."
Gee, thanks, coach.

I buckled on my headgear as I walked over to the circle the coach had
indicated.  I didn't look at Brent until I was facing off with him.

"Brent, we need to talk."

"I got nothing to say to you."

"This has to stop! The whole school will be at war if we can't come to an
agreement."

A shrill whistle sounded, and Brent went for my legs.  His fingers just
brushed me as I dodged around behind him.  "Brent, this isn't a joke.  If
you have some vendetta against me..."  He shot again, with the same
results.  "... then you take it out on me.  Don't get the whole school
involved."

"Yeah, I'd like to take it out on you."  He advanced slowly, one arm out,
trying to push my head down.  I brushed his hand away over and over,
keeping my head up to look him in the eyes.

"Then do it.  I have a proposal for you."

"Yeah?  What is it?"

"You and I working together, scrapping together, running together,
everything.  If you still want to fight after the end of the season, I'll
fight you."  I stood up, knowing I was opening myself up to him, and
offered my hand.  "What do you say?  This way you can try to get your
revenge every day, and no one else will be involved."

"Why should I?  You embarrassed me in front of the whole school!"

"I know, and I can't help that.  If I could have done it differently, I
would have."

He stood up, glaring in my eyes.  "Where the hell did you come up with this
idea anyway?  What do you get out of it?"

"What do I get?  I get to concentrate on school and wrestling, instead of
wasting my energy looking behind me for the rest of the year.  I get to
practice with someone who can teach me things.  And I get to match up with
someone who challenges me.  It also gives you the chance to take me down
and not get suspended or expelled for it."

"What else?"

"Nothing else.  I'm being honest here.  I have friends, and so do you.  Do
you want to put them into a position where they could get really hurt
because of our pride?  My answer is no.  What's yours?"  I offered my hand
once more.  He stared at it for a long few moments, then shook it with a
crushing grip.

"Okay, we'll try it your way.  But don't think I'm going to go easy on you.
You still have a lot to pay for."

"Maybe I got lucky last time.  We'll see, but as long as we keep it to the
mat, I'll be happy."

We had an agreement.  In the background, I heard a collective sigh.
Glancing around, I saw every single face turned to us, listening to our
exchange.  The crisis was over- for the moment.  The coach blew his
whistle.

"What are you ladies looking at?  Get back to work!"

Brent spent the rest of the morning trying to slam me, and my morning was
spent trying not to get slammed.  He did get a grip on me a few times and
tried to take me down hard, but usually I could maneuver to avoid most of
the impact.  It looked to some like I was afraid of him, afraid to let him
get a hold of me.  That wasn't the case; I'm not scared of a good scrap.  I
was trying to salve his aching pride by playing defensive, and I needed to
work on this aspect of my skills.  In most cases I was on the offensive
more than the defensive, anyway.

When practice ended, both Brent and I were exhausted from our non-stop
sparring.  The coach hadn't bothered taking us out of the ring for anything
else he had planned, allowing Brent and I to make a peace of sorts.  The
final whistle blew and Brent backed off, heading straight for the locker
room.  I knelt on the mat for a moment, trying to catch my breath.

"I guess that your plan worked?"  Coach Knowells tossed me a towel.

"I don't know."  Wiping my face and neck, I looked toward the locker room.
"Time will tell."

"As long as you two keep it here and no one gets hurt, things will be
okay."

"I can't promise no one will get hurt."  I rose and walked slowly toward
the locker room entrance.

"You better figure it out then.  I don't want to lose my two best wrestlers
because of some stupid squabble."  I kept walking, choosing not to respond.
I had enough to deal with.

I met the gang in the cafeteria just a few minutes before the first warning
bell.

"Holy shit! What happened to you?  You look terrible!"

"Thanks, Ray, you're a lovely sight, too."  I sat heavily next to Pete,
taking the opportunity to give his shoulder a good, hard squeeze.

"He's right, Brian, You look like you went through the wringer.  Practice
that bad?"

"Not really, Jason.  Brent and I were sparring for over an hour.  That
takes a lot of energy.  I'm tired, that's all."

"You sparred with Brent?  How'd it go?"

"We have an agreement.  We'll keep our differences on the mat so no one
else will be involved.  You can tell everyone to relax now."  Glances were
exchanged around the table.

"How did you get him to agree to that, Bri?"  Pete wore an expression of
worried concern.

"I told him the truth.  If he accepted my proposal, he has the rest of the
season to slam me, and get away with it.  Plus I get to spar with him.
He's a good wrestler, and can give me a challenge.  It'll help me improve."

Jared also wore a look of concern.  "You aren't worried?"

"Nope.  I'll be okay, guys.  Trust me."  The first warning bell rang, and
we parted ways.

The day went slowly, without much excitement.  I finally met my first and
second period teachers.  Mr. Walker was the same as I remembered from last
week; dull between classes and lively once the bell rang.  Ms. Wheeler in
my Creative Writing class turned out to be a bitch.  I'm glad I had the
option to change instructors at the semester. I would much rather have
Mr. Walker, or any other teacher for that matter.  I almost fell asleep in
History, but managed to stay awake to finish the homework in the class
before it ended.

Mr. Knowells tried to give me a break during Phys Ed, but I didn't take it.
We were lifting weights, and despite my fatigue, I lifted the whole period,
but my weights were lower than normal.  All the coach could do was shake
his head.  Brent sat off to the side, watching me the whole time, his face
inscrutable.  Trying to ignore him was difficult.  I felt his eyes on me
the whole class, and it made me nervous.

The gang met for lunch, again asking me questions about my pact with Brent.
I finally just told them it was between him and me.  "Look guys, if you
want to know, ask him.  I'm not going to say anything."  No one was happy
with that answer, but they didn't pursue it any further, either.

After lunch came Math.  I almost fell asleep in there as well, but
Mr. Thomas kept me awake by pounding on the chalkboard to emphasize
particular points that the rest of the class had problems understanding.  I
finished most of the assignment before the bell rang, and then it was off
to Biology.

I was one of the last people in the classroom.  I took my seat hurriedly,
giving Pete a smile as I walked past.  Just after the bell rang, the guy
who sat at the other occupied lab station hurried in and took his seat.
Mr. Griffith was not happy.

"Mr. Mueller, you are late again.  One more tardy and I will refer you to
the vice principal."

"Sorry Mr. Griffith.  I, uh, had something I had to do."

"Is that so?  We'll discuss it after class."  I saw the kid visibly wince.
Wait.  Did I know him?  His face seemed familiar.  I didn't have the time
to think about it further as Mr. Griffith launched into his lecture on how
cells took in fuel and gave off waste products, something much to involved
to go into.

The bell rang just as the lecture ended. Mr. Griffith assigned some reading
and the questions that went along with it.  "Mr. Mueller, I'll see you
now."

"My brother is waiting for me.  I have to go."

"He can wait for you then."  Was that panic on his face?  He still looked
familiar to me.

"Hey Brian, let's go.  Jason drove the van today, and he'll be waiting for
us."

"Okay."  I gathered up my things and followed Pete down the hall, past
Brent's locker.  He was there with a few of his cronies, but they just
stared at me as I passed.  At the same time, I noticed Jason's friends
hanging around, apparently not trusting the deal I had made with Brent
would hold.  I nodded to them in recognition, was annoyed that they didn't
think I could handle the problem on my own.

Upon arriving home, Pete and I changed into our gear and took off for a run
in the rain.  I was exhausted, but I didn't want to get out of the habit.
It was only a short run anyway.  We ran around the park and the block
behind it, and back home.  It wasn't much more than three miles total, but
in my weakened condition, it was more than long enough.  We had
concentrated on the run and our breathing, so neither of us had spoken
during our jaunt.  As I jumped the curb up onto the lawn, I slipped and
fell on my back.  It didn't hurt, it just made me feel like an idiot.

"Dude!  You okay?"  I started chuckling as I got up.

"Yeah, I just feel stupid, that's all."  He helped me up with a wristlock
and looked down into my eyes as I stood.

"I'm proud of you, you know.  It took guts to face Brent down and make a
deal."

"Yeah, well, I just did what I had to, like anyone else would have."

Pete smiled.  "Yeah, you go ahead and believe that.  Not many would have
done what you did, Brian.  A lot of them would have let things go until it
exploded."

We walked to the gate at the side of the house, heading back to the utility
room.  I stayed quiet as we undressed, wondering why what I did was so
unusual.  Doesn't everyone do what he or she has to do?  Doesn't everyone
act to solve his or her problems?  They must if they are still moving ahead
with their lives.  The door opened as we took off our soaked shorts,
leaving us naked and exposed.

"Nice!  I like what I see!  Dad wants to talk to you, Brian."  Ray was once
again displaying his charm.

"Fine.  And Ray, what would Jared say if he knew you were a peeping tom?"

"Nothing.  As long as I don't touch, he's okay with it."

"Yeah, well, I'm not.  If you walk in on either of us again, I'll have to
teach you a lesson."

He looked really scared with that huge irrepressible grin.  "Great!  I look
forward to it!  Dad's in the office."  He shut the door behind him.

"He can be cute, but I really want to turn him into a pretzel right now."
Pete laughed.

"I'll help you next time.  It sounds like fun."  He wrapped a towel around
behind my back, and pulled me to him, his naked body and mine pressing
together.  "I love you, Brian.  I wanted to tell you that all day today at
school."

I rested my head against his chest.  "I know, me too.  It was hard not to
hold your hand at lunch."  He stroked my dripping hair.

"Yeah, I know.  But we're going to have to keep this under wraps, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose.  What about the support group?  Are we going to go?"

"I'd like to."

"I'll have to see how the timing is for me, with sports and homework and
all.  But I'd like to go with you."  A knock at the door.

"Brian?  Dad's waiting."  Irrepressible grin or not, Ray must have taken my
threat at least somewhat seriously.

"Okay, I'm on my way."

Pete kissed my upturned lips.  "You better get going.  We don't want Kevin
to get pissed."

"Let him.  I'm where I want to be."  Pete pushed me away and wrapped the
towel around my waist and tucked the corner in.

"Go.  We'll talk later."

On the way to our room, I stopped by the office to tell Kevin I was going
to dry off and put on some sweats.  He waved me away, engrossed in some
papers he had strewn about his desk.  I returned to the office a few
minutes later, relatively dry, and dressed in sweats.

"You wanted to talk to me, Kevin?"

He looked at me, a vacant quality in his eyes until he focused on me.
"Yup, please sit down."  I did as he asked.  "How did things go today?"

"Fine. I talked to Brent."  I told him of our agreement.  "So things are
settled until the end of the season.  I'm hoping by the time that rolls
around, he will have satisfied his need to kill me."  I grinned, as did
Kevin.

"Great!  I'm glad you could handle it that way.  You sure you aren't
interested in the law?"

"No, sorry.  I like science.  No grey areas."

He chuckled.  "Well, you can't fault me for trying, and I will try again.
I have some things to do here, then I'll come down for dinner."

"Okay, I'll let Sharon know."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Kevin came down just before dinner was set on the table.  As usual, this
meal was a boisterous affair, everyone telling how their day went, and what
had happened.  I told my story again in case anyone had missed it.  Joanne
had a Thanksgiving play coming up, Sharon was scheduled to take a business
trip to Boston for a seminar on counseling children in "transition",
whatever that meant.  Kevin mentioned that the firm had a part- time
position available, four days a week after school.  Jason jumped on that.
He needed to make some cash for college and his senior trip.

After dinner, we just lounged around the living room, watching TV for the
most part.  I went upstairs about seven-thirty to finish my homework.  Pete
followed me up, as did Ray.  Ray needed some help with his math, and
somehow I had been appointed his tutor.  So while he worked on his work, I
worked on mine.  It didn't take me too long.  Biology was the longest
because I had to read the chapter before answering the questions.

The three of us finished up about eight-thirty.  Ray left for his room
without comment, and Pete and I got ready for bed.  He seemed a bit
unsettled to me.

"Hey Bri, is this the kind of schedule you kept down south when we were
apart?"

"Uh, yeah, sort of.  I would have spent an hour on the weights after our
run if I were to keep the exact schedule."

"When did you have time to do your homework?"

"Right before bed."

"And you went to practice when?"

"Between five-thirty and six."

"So you had no free time?  No time to yourself?"

"No.  That's what I was trying to avoid.  The more time I had to myself,
the more thinking I had to do.  Thinking is what got me in trouble.  I got
really depressed when I thought.  So I kept myself busy."

"What happened after wrestling season ended?"

"The coach let me into the gym at six-thirty, and I would use the weight
machines or something."

"Are you going to keep that schedule now we are together?"

"I don't know.  Maybe."

"When will you have time for us?"

"That is the only thing holding me back, babe.  You are more important than
any of it.  Next to you, everything is a trivial."

"Do you have a chance to go to state?"

"I don't know the competition yet, so I can't say."

"What about your four-point?"

"What about it?  Pete, what's bugging you?"

"I'm afraid now that we are together, after years of being separated, that
we will drift apart.  I want you to do what you think you need to do to
succeed, but at the same time I have this selfish desire to keep you to
myself.  Can you understand that?"

I rolled over and hugged him.  "Of course I do.  We will work something
out.  I promise.

Pete hugged me tight, then turned around, putting his back against me so I
could spoon him.  We fell asleep that way, but neither one of us rested,
Pete worrying about what the future would bring, and me worrying what I
would have to give up to be with him.

				  ===0===

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