Date: Thu, 21 Nov 2002 20:43:59 -0800 From: Dewey <dewey@deweywriter.com> Subject: Brian and Pete Ch. 15 Brian and Pete Chapter Fifteen Planning and Pleading Copyright Notice - Copyright (c)February 2002 by DeweyWriter Ltd. This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic, audio, or otherwise without the authors expressed written permission. All applicable copyright laws apply and will be enforced. Legal Disclaimer This story is a work of fiction involving teenage boys partially based on real people and events. Names have been changed to protect the guilty as well as the innocent. All the usual rules apply. If it is illegal for you to be reading this now, then don't continue. ---oooOOOooo--- The three of us spent the afternoon in the living room, talking and watching TV. Jason eventually stood and went back up to his room to nap with David. Pete and I got up about three, and took a shower. It was one of those showers that I didn't want to end, but the hot water heater can only do so much. The rest of the afternoon we spent in our room, looking over maps and checking out hotels on the net. Going down the coast would be cool. We'd stop on the beach in several places and enjoy the sun and sand. Then we'd make it to Brookings, or whatever the name of that little town is. We'd stay there for awhile, then head south on the 101, going through Eureka, Ukiah, and Santa Rosa, on to home to spend some time with my mom and sister. We'd also see Chris and his mom, and hopefully Danny. Then southward on the 101 to the LA area for a few days, followed by San Diego and the Zoo. Then Phoenix, Arizona to take in a few baseball games, and get into whatever mischief we could. We'd check out the campus at ASU while we were there. After that, we'd go up through to see the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon, to Las Vegas. A few days there maybe, then to Yosemite. I couldn't wait for that! I hadn't been there in a long time. From there, we'd go to Lassen Park, then up to Crater Lake, and back home to Portland. It looked like about a month on the road, just Pete and I! I couldn't wait! Then I had the thought... I had to ask for permission to go! Talk about a major bubble burst! Oh, man. I hoped Dad would let me go. I might just run away for the month if he didn't! When we went down for dinner, Jason and David were already cooking. They were having fun doing so, making a mess as they went along. Pete said, "We're not cleaning that up!" Jason just giggled and waved us away as David put a blob of pudding on Jason's nose with a grin. We sat in the living room watching television. Just as the news started, my dad escorted Kevin down the stairs. I had thought my dad left long ago. Kevin was much steadier on his feet than he had been that morning, and was actually smiling. "Evening, boys! How are you doing?" He seemed more like his old self than I expected. Not waiting for our answer, he proceeded into the kitchen, where he badgered David and Jason for a while until they kicked him out so they could continue their play time. "Why so chipper, Dad?" Pete watched him bounce down into one of the easy chairs. "No reason. Why dwell on something I can't control?" He was still smiling. "Besides, that's why I have an attorney! He gets to deal with it now." Jason and David were still playing in the kitchen, so I was fairly certain he hadn't heard what Kevin said. Following my eyes, Kevin said, "Jason knows, Brian. We had a talk about what would most likely happen a few days ago." "Kevin, I'm going to go home. You seem like you're safe to leave alone." "Sure you don't want to stay for dinner?" "I'm sure. I have things that need doing before work tomorrow." "If you're sure then...." "Uh, Dad?" "Yes, Brian?" "Uh, Pete and I have this idea. We want to take a road trip this summer." "Really? Where to?" "Well, we haven't got that quite nailed down." "You guys figure out what you want to do, and we'll talk about it over dinner tomorrow, okay?" "Uh, sure. See you tomorrow, Dad." "Good night, son. Night, boys! See you later." "Good night, Mr. Kellam!" Jason yelled back, still being distracted by David. Dad laughed and went out the door. "Road trip?" Kevin's curiosity was piqued. "Yes," Pete said. "We were kicking it around today, looking at some maps. There are some places I want to take Brian, like Brookings." "Okay, so what are we looking at? A week, a week and a half?" "Well... maybe a bit longer. There are other places we want to go." "Such as?" I answered, "I'd like to go down and visit Chris and Danny. I don't know if my mom and sister will be moved by then, so we'd visit them too while we're down there." "Okay. Two weeks then?" "Uh, then we want to go down to Los Angeles," Pete said. "LA. Anywhere else?" "Um, yeah. San Diego, Phoenix, the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Lassen, and Crater Lake." Kevin asked facetiously, "How long are you planning to be gone, a month?" "Yeah, maybe a little over." Kevin stared at us for a few minutes. "What car are you planning on taking?" Pete said, "Mine." "You don't have.... I see. Any idea what you want?" "No, but I'm looking. I want to make sure it'll get us there and back." "I insist that, whatever you get, you have a mechanic go over it completely, bumper to bumper, before you leave." "You're letting us go?" I asked. "It's okay by me, but you still need to convince your mom and dad, Brian." "I know...." "When were you planning on leaving?" "Well," Pete started, "we were thinking about the twenty-second. It gives us time to find the car, get it checked out, and get everything else done." Kevin nodded. "Sounds good to me." He paused a moment, then asked, "Why the road trip, guys? I know you want to go see those things, but is there another reason?" "It'll give us time alone. If we don't kill each other after being in each other's faces for a month, we'll be doing okay, as far as the future is concerned." I answered, blushing slightly. "Besides," Pete said enthusiastically, "I want to learn how to surf! And where better than Malibu?" Kevin couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, okay! You convinced me." "Cool!" I high-fived Pete. Our grins were as big as Kevin's. "Are you sure you didn't take some happy pills, Kevin? "Nope! Unless you count the Tylenol for my headache." >From the disaster zone, David called, "Soup's on! Or whatever you want to call this...." "Hey! I worked hard to get this done, and did it on time in spite of you trying to eat me alive! You guys wouldn't believe what he wanted to do with the...." "Dig in, guys," David said in a loud voice, interrupting Jason's attempt to embarrass him. His glare promised retribution, but Jason just smiled and bit his tongue in a mischievous way. It was all I could do to keep a straight face. Kevin and Pete were struggling, too, I could tell. Once everyone was seated and served, Jason asked, "I thought I heard something about a road trip?" I snorted and said with a grin, "I'm surprised you could hear anything with David keeping you occupied. If you guys wouldn't mind, we'd appreciate it if you'd keep it in the bedroom. I'll even buy the plastic sheets!" Kevin and Pete lost it. Jason and David looked at each other and back to me, trying to decide whether to be angry or laugh. I started paying a lot of attention to my food. "Tell you what, Brian," Jason said. "You buy the plastic sheets, and I'll buy the soundproofing for your room." Oh- my- God! I can't believe he just said that! It cracked me up, and broke the tension. "Deal!" The rest of the meal was great. Everyone was having a good time. We told Jason and David about our plans to drive down to LA and Phoenix. David recommended several places worth stopping at, and we said we'd think about it. The next day was Sunday, and the paper had all sorts of used cars in it. We looked through and circled some, made a few phone calls, and set up some appointments for the next day. Pete didn't want to spend twenty or thirty thousand bucks if he could spend ten and get a reliable car. Pete and I went over to the farmhouse to help Dad out with some chores, and cook dinner. Pete was becoming an excellent cook! I couldn't do much more than taste the food for him. He was so possessive of the kitchen when he was working. It was cute! Dad and I worked up on the roof replacing some shingles that had been damaged during the winter, while Pete took care of whatever he was working on. I saw him drive off and come back about forty-five minutes later. I was curious, but Dad and I had a lot to do, so we kept working. A few hours later, Pete rang the triangle for dinner. By what was on the table, Pete had obviously gone grocery shopping. He'd whipped up a batch of Chicken ala King- complete with capers!- a huge salad, and croissants. Pete looked justifiably proud of his accomplishment. "I didn't know you could really cook, Pete," Dad said in astonishment. "It's not hard if you use a cookbook. This was my grandmother's recipe." "It smells wonderful!" "Thank you, Mr. Kellam." "What have I told you about that? Either Ben or Dad will do." "Sorry. Habit." Dad reached up and ruffled his hair. I noticed that my dad and Pete were the same height. "It's okay, son. Let's go wash up, Brian. Don't want supper to get cold, do we?" Dinner was terrific! The chicken melted in your mouth. I couldn't take my eyes off Pete. He noticed, and smiled shyly. It was such a turn on! He would look up at me through his bangs, and give that look.... And the chicken wasn't the only thing he'd done. For dessert, he'd made these fudge brownies, and served them with ice cream. They were so rich. I could only eat two. Oh, man, was he going to get his dessert! As things were winding down, and I cleared the table, Dad asked about the road trip. "Have you figured out where you're going to go?" "More or less. We'll be flexible, of course," Pete said. "We'll start off going down the coast to Brookings, a place Kevin and Sharon took me. Then we'll head down towards San Francisco." I asked, "Do we know when Mom, Dawn, and Grandpa will be coming up?" Dad said, "First or second week in July. Depends on the house, as always." "Okay, then. We'll go see them. We'll see Chris and Danny too." Pete continued, "From there, we'll go down to Los Angeles and San Diego, and over to Phoenix, back up through the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam, Las Vegas, up the Sierras for Yosemite, Lassen, and Crater Lake. Then back home." "Quite a trip! How long do you plan on being gone?" "Four or five weeks." Dad's brows furrowed thoughtfully. "Five weeks? A full month and more. What about money? How will Brian pay his way?" "I'm paying for everything, Ben. That's been settled." Dad and I both shifted uncomfortably. "I want to do this for us. We need some time to be alone. And we need to get away from everything that's been happening." "But five weeks?" "That's how long it'll take if we spend a couple days in each place we stop," Pete explained. "I don't know, boys. It's an awful long time to be on your own, and so far from home." "Dad," I said, "it's only two years until we're on our own anyway, and you know we can take care of ourselves." Dad winced, reminded of the time lost during our estrangement. "Two years is a long time at your age. And I know you can take care of each other. It's just the idea of you being gone a full month. I'm sure your mother wouldn't approve." "Dad, I really want to do this. It's not like we'll be out of touch. We can get a cell phone to carry, and check in all the time." "I'm going to have to talk to your mother, Brian." "I know, but please remember how much this would mean to me. To us." I took Pete's hand and squeezed. Dad watched us for a second, then nodded. "I'll go call her." "Thanks, Dad." "Don't thank me yet. If she says no, I say no." "Maybe I should talk to her, too, then," I mused. "I'll let you talk to her. I don't know if it'll do any good." "You sound like she's already said no!" Sternly, Dad said, "Brian, I said I'll talk to her. Drop it for now." My face flushed in anger. I didn't say another word; I just finished up the dishes and plopped down on the couch in front of the TV. Pete sat by me, watching silently. I lost myself in my anger, thinking in circles. I hated it when Dad shut me down like that. I have a right to express my emotions, don't I? He's always done that. I don't know why I should've expected anything else. "Bri?" Pete's gentle voice brought me back, breaking my train of thoughts. I looked up and realized I'd been sitting there for more than an hour, not seeing or hearing anything. Pete's worried expression told me all I needed to know about what he was feeling. Sighing heavily, I said, "I'm sorry. I was thinking." "About what, Bri? You were out of it for quite a while." "Dad. He always shuts me down." I sighed. Pete stroked my leg in sympathy. "All you can do is let it out when he's not around. You can talk to me, you know." I squeezed his leg tightly. "I know. Sometimes I just want to go off and scream and yell, you know?" "So why don't you?" "Dad would freak! We wouldn't be able to go for sure, then." "We can take a bike ride or something. Remember how much land there is here?" "I shouldn't have to run away to let out my emotions, Pete. This is my home, too." Answering Pete's sardonic grin, I said, "Well, you know what I mean." "Yeah, I know. Just don't bottle them up, okay? Will has told you how harmful that is. You can vent to me anytime you need to, even if you're going off on me." I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as Pete put his arm around me. What would I do without Pete? I'd go insane. Dad came down the stairs about ten minutes later, his face unreadable. "Brian, your mother wants to talk to you." Reluctantly, I pulled myself from Pete's grasp and took the call in the kitchen. "Hi, Mom." "Hello, baby. How are you?" "I'm okay." "Just okay?" "I'm worried. I really want to go on this road trip, Mom." "That's what your father says. He told me where you want to go. Are you sure you can't cut the trip down to a couple weeks?" "No, Mom. The timing is tight already. Unless we just drive by the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon, or skip the time we wanted to spend in LA and San Diego. If we did that, then it's not worth going at all." "What did your father say?" "He said he'd say what you said." "How are things between you and Pete?" The change of subject caught me of guard. "Fine. Great. Everything's good." "You still love him?" "More than ever. I don't know what I'd do without him." The phone fell silent. "Mom? Are you there?" "I'm here. I'm thinking." She was quiet for another long moment. "Let me talk to your father." "Okay, Mom. Love you." "Love you too, honey." "Dad, Mom wants you." He walked over and took the phone from me, and I retuned to Pete. "Any idea?" "Not a clue. She didn't sound all that excited, and asked if we could shorten the trip. I said no." He put his arm around me again. "If they say no, then we'll figure something else out. I don't think they'll say no to a week, and that'd be plenty of time for Brookings, and maybe Crater Lake. We could even take more than one trip. We'll get our time away, one way or the other." We watched TV for about ten minutes more, then heard Dad hang up the phone. He came in the living room and sat down to watch TV with us. I kept glancing over at him to figure out what had been decided, but he didn't give anything away. He'd told me to drop the subject, so I wasn't going to bring it up again. About nine, Dad stood and stretched. "I'm going to bed, boys. If you want me to take you back over to the other house, be ready to go by seven." "Night, Dad." "Night, Ben." "Good night." He went up the stairs. Pete and I looked at each other, and sighed. "Oh, by the way," Dad said as he came back down the stairs, "your road trip is a go-" "YES!!" Pete and I high-fived. "PROVIDED you follow our guidelines. We'll talk about that later. I don't think it'll be anything to onerous for you." "Thanks, Dad!" "Well, thank your mother. She wants some help packing!" "It's worth it!" "Sleep well, boys." Dad went back upstairs and to bed. I turned to Pete and kissed him passionately. "I can't believe they said yes!" He grinned. "I can. It's not like you're some troublemaking teenager, you know." I lost my smile. "You don't think that's why they said yes, do you? Because they're afraid I'll run away from them?" "Brian, baby, they let us go because they trust us." "How do you know that?" "They trusted us to make the decision we belong together." "No, they knew they'd lose me if they didn't let me be with you." "What kind of answer are you looking for, Bri?" Pete's voice betrayed his annoyance. "Do you want me to say that they let us go because they're afraid you'll run away? Or do you want me to tell you they trust us?" I stared at him as he spoke, then dropped my eyes to my hand in my lap. "No, you don't, do you. You aren't even looking for an answer. You're looking for anything your mind can find to keep you miserable! You want to dwell on the worst. You always have! I can't believe it. You actually like being miserable! I can't believe I've missed it all this time! Un-fucking believable." Abruptly, Pete stood. "I'm going to bed," he said, and without looking back, shut the bedroom door behind him. I sat on the couch, stunned. I couldn't remember the last time Pete went off on me. I knew why he said what he did, but it still hurt. Mostly it hurt because he was right and I didn't know what to do about it. Why did I look for the worst in any situation? Was I so programmed to expect it that I let my fears affect me? Did I let my fears run my life? Was I so programmed to expect the worst that I couldn't see anything good? With tears in my eyes, I gathered a pillow and blanket from the closet, and settled in on the couch for the long night...alone. ---+++--- Sometimes I could really kill Brian. We get the green light for our road trip, and the first thing he does is start wondering why they gave us permission. Frankly, at that moment, I didn't care why. Classic Brian; he thought up problems to worry over. When we should both be happy and celebrating, he wants to be depressed and brood! I swear, I just want to reach out and slap him silly sometimes. I want to shake some sense into him, you know? Then I start thinking about what he's been through and what he's trying to deal with. I'm certain he didn't consciously choose to do what he did, but it is so frustrating! I just snapped, and went off on him. Maybe he deserved it. I still felt bad, but at the same time, I felt justified; righteous in my anger. Can't I be angry with him? I've got to be able to vent my emotions too. Brian'll just have to learn to adjust to that. Feeling satisfied, I drifted off to sleep. ---+++--- I awoke about two-thirty, according to the alarm clock. There was something wrong. Something didn't sound right. I suddenly realized I didn't hear Brian breathing next to me. I rolled over to find his side of the bed hadn't been touched. Sighing, I got out of bed, cursing the frozen floor, and quietly opened the bedroom door. It was dark in the family room; the only light was from the VCR display. By it's blue glow, I could see Brian sleeping on the couch. He'd wrapped himself up in a blanket and curled into a ball. He looked to be in danger of falling off the couch onto the floor. I stood there a moment, kicking myself. There had to be a better, more constructive way to handle this. Brian jerked in his sleep and let out a low growl, perhaps responding to a dream. His even breathing halted, then continued in short gasping breaths. He curled up even tighter, hugging the blanket to him. ---+++--- I was in school. Everything seemed normal. Pete and I had come out at school. We had started sharing hugs and an occasional kiss in the halls. People smiled, people frowned, and others ignored us. All in all, it was a good situation. I remember talking with Jared, Ray, Jason and David, but Pete was nowhere to be found. I asked everyone, but no one had seen him. Panic set in as I searched every classroom, every broom closet, the locker room, the gym... I couldn't find him. As I walked past the hallway where Jared had been attacked, a group of people surrounded me. Two of them held Pete's limp body between them. "See what happens to fags?" one of them said, as they dropped Pete to the floor. I ran to him, but his body was cold. I couldn't find a pulse. "Now it's your turn, faggot." The group attacked me, and I awoke with the first blow to my ribs, breathing in short gasps, ignoring the tears in my eyes. I tried to hug the extra blankets to me, but it didn't help much. I needed Pete, but he was in the other room. More tears filled my eyes. Eventually my breathing slowed, but I didn't go back to sleep. I'd been having nightmares like this one ever since we first discussed coming out. Usually they weren't as bad as that one, but they scared me nonetheless. I had serious reservations about coming out, now, as a result. I couldn't shake the feeling that if we came out, we were guaranteed to be attacked. What happened to Jared didn't help anything either. It just added fuel to the fire. I didn't want anything to happen to Pete because of me, and coming out was my idea. I heard soft steps approaching. ---+++--- "Brian? Brian, baby, come to bed." I put my hand on his shoulder. Was that trembling I felt? He didn't move. "Bri? Please?" He looked up at me, but I couldn't see anything in the dim light. He turned back toward the couch. "I'm sorry, Pete. I don't know why I do that. I wish I did, 'cause I'd change it." "I know you would, Bri. Really. I guess I was upset that you couldn't be happy we were going. What I said was wrong. It was mean, Brian. I wanted to hurt you." "You did. But it's the truth. I do look for the negative. I don't know if I like being miserable, but it's what I'm used to. Will says we try to stay in our comfort zone, even if it's a bad place." "Brian, come to bed with me. I'll try to keep your mind off of things for awhile, okay?" I stroked his side and down his leg, and back. He grabbed my hand, stopping me. "I can't. Not tonight." "That's okay, Bri." He looked back at me again. "I need you to hold me. Will you hold me?" "Of course I will, baby. For ever and ever." Brian shuffled around until he could sit up, then followed me into our room. He'd been fully dressed on the couch, so he dropped his clothes into a pile and climbed in. I pulled him to me on my side, since it was warm already. "Bad dreams, Bri?" "No worse than usual." "But they woke you up." "Like I said, no worse than usual." "Will you tell me about them?" "Not tonight. I just want to forget them and get some sleep. Do you mind?" "Not at all, baby. I've got you." Brian turned his back toward me, and I spooned him, holding him across his chest. I lay awake until his breathing settled into a deep steady rhythm with sleep. Only then could I relax enough to sleep as well. ---+++--- I turned off the alarm within two seconds of it going off. Brian was stirring slightly, but I wrapped him up again and squeezed. A small fart escaped, and we both laughed, and I squeezed him tighter. After last night, it felt so good to hear him laugh. "Morning, baby." I kissed the back of his neck. "Mmmm, morning." He pushed back into me, sending thrills up my spine. "Did I squeeze too hard?" He giggled, but said nothing. "We need to get up, Bri. Your dad is going to take us back so Jason can get us to our appointments, remember?" "I don't want to get up. I want to stay in bed with you.," he said, punctuating his words with insistent movements. I didn't want to get out of bed either, but we had to. "Maybe we can continue this later on, Bri. I'd love to. But your dad is going to be calling for us any minute." Reluctantly, I rolled away from him and out of bed. He was pouting, and it was really difficult not to give into him. Half smiling, he rolled out and got dressed in the clothes he wore the day before.. We made the bed and opened the door just as Ben was going to knock. "You boys ready?" "Yup!" Ben peered at Brian, taking in the bags under his eyes and rumpled clothes. "You didn't get much sleep last night, did you son?" He looked me over, too, and grinned. "Stay up too late playing?" "Uh," I said moronically. "We had an argument, Dad. We got it straightened out but it took some time." "Well that's a relief!" Puzzled, I asked, "What's a relief?" Ben grinned widely. "You two do have arguments after all. Here I was thinking that you were the perfect couple." It was easy to tell he was kidding, but Brian immediately grew introspective. We couldn't have that, so I punched him in the chest. "OW!" "Got your mind off of things, didn't it?" I was grinning, hoping he would, too. Unexpectedly, he reached out and punched my shoulder. "Thanks!" he said with a smile. Man, he could hit, and he wasn't even trying. "If you're finished trying to kill each other, we'll get going." Still smiling, Brian led me by the hand to the car. We made it to the house about seven-fifteen. Kevin was already gone, but Jason and David were still sleeping. Grinning seductively, Brian started climbing the stairs, stripping as he went, dropping his clothes behind him! I stared after him for a moment, jaw on the floor, and then quickly followed him, picking up his discarded garments as I went. I stopped just outside the room and watched him finish taking off his clothes. This was awesome. I couldn't believe how playful he was. He strutted toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. When he reached me, he put a hand on my chest, and continued to circle until he was behind me. I turned my head to follow him to my right side, where I noticed Jason's door was cracked open. Brian noticed this too, and gently pushed me into our room. He peeked back out and said, "Hope you enjoyed the show, guys," and then closed our door behind him. Oh, God, I love you , Brian. ---+++--- I love you too, Pete. More than I could ever express. Jason woke us three hours later, without looking in on us, this time. I guess he didn't want to embarrass himself again. Anyway, we cleaned up and went car shopping with David and Jason. It seemed like the more we looked, the less we found. After a disappointing afternoon, we headed south to Wilsonville, to David's house. When I asked David if his parent's would be there, he shrugged stiffly. I left the subject alone. Pete squeezed my leg, and I took his hand for comfort. Jason and David spoke quietly all the way there, Jason encouraging David that things would be okay. We pulled up in the driveway, and David turned off the car. He twisted in his seat so he could see us. "I don't know what my parents are going to do or say, guys. I'm out to them, and they hate it. If they say something that makes you mad, please, just don't respond. We'll be in and out as soon as we can. Stay close. I'll need your help." We got out of the car and followed David to the front door. He stopped and took a deep breath, then unlocked the door and entered, with the rest of us close behind him. The television was on in the family room, and the kitchen lights were on as well. We could hear the clank of a pan and the refrigerator door close. After a slight hesitation, David made a break for his room. Once there, he began filling gym bags with clothes and personal items. Once the first one was filled, he started in on the second, and then a third. About that time, an older woman in her fifties came to the door. "David! I thought I heard you. And these are your... friends?" Her tone left no doubt what she was thinking. It really pissed me off, but I held my tongue for David's sake Rather than answer, David finished packing the third bag and said, "I'm done. Let's go." He pushed past his mother and headed for the door. "David, where are your manners? Aren't you going to introduce us?" David whirled and almost ran me over. I put my back to the wall so David could confront his mother. "Why? Why would you want to know their names?" He advanced on her slowly. His voice was quiet, barely concealing the rage he felt. "Do you want their names so you can make your insults and hatred personal?" "David, I..." "You what? You made it clear how you feel about me and who I am the last time I saw you. Don't worry. I'll keep my 'filthy habits' and "those people" away from you." "David, I didn't mean..." "Oh, yes you did. Those were your exact words. You burned them into my brain." "Those were your father's words, not mine. I never said anything of the kind." "Yes you did. And when Dad started yelling at me, spouting all his bullshit, you didn't say anything to defend me. You just stood there. Silence is agreement. You never did anything to protect me, so you must believe everything he said!" She didn't respond, just dropped her eyes. "We're leaving now. Page me when you decide to fly out. I won't come back again until you're both gone. Let's go." The whole time they were arguing, the wheels in my head were turning. I couldn't figure out what was bothering me until we were back in the car on the way home. I had questions I needed to ask, but now was not the time. Pete had been affected, too. He probably had arguments very similar to that with his mom, Brenda. He sat in the back seat with me, sitting stiffly, while I held his hand. As we got close to home, his grip tightened, until at last, in the driveway, it brought tears to my eyes. He looked over at me, a slight smile on his face, which was wiped away when he saw my face. "Brian, baby, what's wrong?" I couldn't answer, and just looked at our hands. His was white with tension, and mine was purple from being constricted. He released my hand and pulled away as if he'd been burned. "Bri, oh, Bri, I'm soooo sorry. I didn't realize...." I took my injured hand and stroked his cheek. "It's okay, Pete. I understand." He shook his head and tried to say something, but I stopped him with a finger on his lips. "Hit kind of close to home, huh?" He nodded miserably. "Let's go in, babe. I'll take you upstairs. I think we both need a cuddle." He nodded again, and helped me out his side of the car. I hugged him tightly, and felt a tear fall onto my cheek. I looked up into his troubled eyes rimmed with tears, and kissed him softly on the lips. I whispered, "We're okay, Pete. None of that matters now. We're together, and no one is gonna tear us apart." He smiled down, looking into my eyes, then hugged me so tight it took my breath away. "I love you, Brian Andrew Kellam," he whispered. Then he put a liplock on me that made the world spin. Jason cleared his throat, bringing us back to reality. Pete still had to hold me up for a moment until I got my legs back. I opened my eyes and looked into his once more, before he released me, and let me into the house. When the door closed, Jason was annoyed. "What are you guys trying to do? Out yourselves? You could have been seen! It was a stupid risk..." "Jason, leave them alone," David said angrily. "It doesn't matter." "Of course it does!" "No, it doesn't. Ask yourself, if you and I weren't together, would you be making such a big deal about this? I think my mom scared you, Jason, and you're worried about getting outed yourself, so just leave them alone!" While Jason and David glared at each other, Pete and I snuck upstairs, and closed the door behind us. We undressed silently, stripping to our shorts. Pete climbed into bed, and I followed him, pulling him close to me. He rolled over so I could spoon him. This was different. He usually held me. It felt good. "Do you want to talk about it, Pete?" "Not really. I'd just as soon let it go." "It's been bothering you for a long time though?" He nodded slightly. "Pete, you've been here for me so many times I can't count them. Now it's my turn to be here for you. If you want to talk about it, I'll listen." A few moments passed, then he spoke again, softly. "About a year after I got here, Mother met Curt, and he moved in with us. She told him that I thought I was gay, and need convincing otherwise." He shuddered, and I held him tighter. "At first, he just yelled at me, like David's parents did to him, I guess. All I could do was stand there and take it. "The first time I ever said anything back, he hit me. My jaw ached for a week, and the lectures just got louder and longer. Mother joined in with him then. She screamed at the top of her lungs. I don't know how the cops didn't get called. "For the next several months, I avoided going home, walking to my grandparent's instead. Mother would come and pick me up, and the whole thing would start again, only I'd get beaten by Curt. I finally just asked Mother if I could move in with Grandma and Grandpa, so she could have more time with Curt and I could concentrate on school. She agreed, but she still had me come over occasionally, and they... well, it never stopped." I hugged him tightly again. He'd never told me about the abuse. "Then my grandparents died. That was the worst, I think. I was afraid I'd have to go stay with her, but Kevin and Sharon took me in." He smiled at the thought. "Kevin and Van fought for my freedom, and I got it." He quieted for a moment, apparently lost in thought as he stroked my hand. "And I wouldn't change a thing. As bad as it was, it's worth it, because I have you." He turned in my arms and kissed me gently. "I wouldn't trade you for the world." I smiled and kissed him back, and we fell asleep in each others' arms. ---+++--- We spent the remainder of the week looking for cars and helping Jason get David settled in. It was awkward, because we didn't really know him that well. It was natural for Pete and I to restrain ourselves a bit around him, but not because it was David. Maybe it was because we didn't know how to deal with the situation; him being here because of his parents. He noticed, of course, and commented on it that Friday morning as we were lifting in the workshop. He made a good workout partner because we lifted the same weights. "Brian? Did I do something to make you and Pete angry with me?" "No." I grunted through a few more reps, then David helped me seat the bar on the rack. "Why do you ask?" "You and Pete don't seem to be as relaxed around me as you were." "Really? I didn't even notice." We switched places, and I helped David pick up the bar. He did his fifteen reps and we set the bar down again. He sat up on the bench and looked at me. "It's like you guys are... inhibited again. You hardly kiss, you never hold each other. Did I do something?" "No, David. I think it's just... we don't know how to treat you." "Because of my parents?" "Yeah." We changed positions, and I started my set. "Just treat me as you always have. I'll deal with my parents. Don't worry about me." I chuckled. "You sound like me." My arms were fatigued, and David spotted me through the last four reps, but he didn't help me. "How do you mean?" "That was my mantra when I first got here. 'Don't worry about me,' or 'I'm fine.'" We switched places again, and David finished his final set with a little help. "That's what I say to Jason all the time." "And I bet he hates it." "Yeah." He helped me put the weights back on the rack. "Jason gets frustrated, but I don't know what to do about it." "He just wants you to talk to him, David. Let him in a little bit." His face clouded. "We'll see." We finished the rest of our workout in relative silence. I recounted the conversation David and I had to Pete, and he was as surprised as I had been that our behavior had changed that much, just because of David's presence. We made it a point to try and get things back to normal, if we could. Jason and David went out Friday night. We didn't ask where, and they didn't offer. Pete and I stayed home, keeping Kevin company. He had quit work early for a change, and just wanted to vegetate. Can't say I blamed him. He'd brought home a couple movies to watch: Con Air and Grosse Point Blank. I loved both of them. Pete liked them too, but Kevin fell asleep during the last one after devouring bag upon bag of microwave popcorn. It was about eleven-thirty when we woke him up to go to bed. We left the kitchen light on for David and Jason, and followed Kevin upstairs. After a bit of cuddling, we fell asleep, and for once, I didn't have a nightmare that woke me up. At least, not one I remembered. ---+++--- Pete was not in bed when I awoke. I checked the clock and saw it was already nine. I lay there for a few moments, enjoying the time I had to just relax. Finally, about ten minutes after I woke up, I stretched until my joints popped, and climbed out of bed. I headed straight for the shower, knowing that Pete had already taken his. Opening the door, I walked in on Pete as he was brushing his teeth. I hugged him from behind and mumbled, "Morning, babe," and started the water. I was going to take a quick shower, so hopefully there'd be enough hot water. He finished brushing, and sat on the toilet, watching me. After taking off my shorts and climbing into the tub, I soaped up and scrubbed as quickly as I could. "Guess what I found, Bri?" "What?" "My car!" "Really? What is it?" "It's a 1974 White Malibu SS. The guy promised to hold it until I could take a look at it. He said it's in cherry condition, with all original parts, except the engine." "Sound's nice. When are we going to see him?" "As soon as you get dressed. Kevin's going to drive us over." "I'll be out soon. I have to wash my hair, then I'm done." "Wow, that was quick." "I have motivation." A few moments later, I rinsed and turned off the water. Pete opened the shower curtain, holding my towel. He stood there, looking me up and down, a slight smile on his face. "Uh, Pete? I'm getting cold." Goosebumps rose on my arms and chest. I winced at the unintentional reminder of my folly last winter. Slightly embarrassed, he quickly handed me the towel. His smile took on a sympathetic tone, and he kissed my cheek. "Don't worry, baby. Everything is fine, okay?" I nodded, and began to dry myself. "I just can't believe I was so stupid then." "You didn't understand, Brian. Now, I think you're beginning to." "Yeah, I think so, too." I peeked out of the towel as I was drying my hair and smiled. "Everybody's been great. Will told me that eventually I would begin to believe what was said, you know, about them wanting me to stay? About you loving me like you do?" "Mmm hmm." I continued drying my body, knowing Pete was following my every movement. "It's starting to sink in. Sometimes, I go hours without wondering if I really belong here. It's very different for me. Kinda unsettling." "What do you mean?" "I told you before that people tend to settle where they're most comfortable, even if it's a bad place?" He nodded. "It's habit for me to slide back into that place where I don't feel worthy, ya' know? I have to remind myself that I am. It feels strange." "Like you don't know where you're at?" "No, more like I don't know where I'm going." I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked to our room. "I still have dark moments, too. This is still new. It's gonna take awhile to make the change." "You've got nothing but time, Bri. I'm not going anywhere." "I know." I dropped my towel and hugged him tightly, reaching up to kiss his lips. "I know." "Do you want something to eat before we go, baby? "Um, nothing heavy. Maybe some yogurt or something with some toast?" "Sure. I'll go get it for you." "I'll be down in a few." He kissed me again with a smile, and left. When I arrived in the kitchen, Kevin was finishing his cup of coffee, and reading the morning paper. He looked up as I came in. "Good morning, Brian." "Morning, Kevin. Taking us car shopping?" I got a bowl out of the cupboard. Pete was getting the corn flakes out for me, and the milk. "Yep. Me and your dad." Surprised, I looked at Kevin. "Dad's coming too?" "Sure is. He knows more about cars than I do. Why? Don't you want him to come?" "No, nothing like that. I'm just surprised." "Why?" "I don't know. I just am. When's he going to be here?" The doorbell rang. "Right about now." Kevin answered the door as I poured the milk. Pete sat next to me, his eyes shining. He was really amped about seeing this car. Pete sat there watching me as I fed my face, making me a bit self-conscious, but when I looked at him, he just smiled, like he knew something I didn't. "Good morning, boys." "Good morning, Ben," Around a mouthful of cereal, I said, "Morning." Dad just looked at me and shook his head with a grin as I added another spoonful to my mouth. "What?" "Don't talk with your mouth full, Brian." I rolled my eyes and shoveled another load in as soon as I had swallowed the one I had. Pete watched, grinning. "Stop it!" He put on a surprised expression and pointed to his chest. In his best 'I'm innocent' voice, he said, "Me?" "Yes you! You're making me nervous." Ben and Kevin observed us with no small amount of amusement." "Now would I do that to you?" He ran his hand from my knee to my crotch, and I choked on the mouthful I was currently chewing. He laughed. He actually laughed! When I could finally speak, I said, "Yes you would! Let me eat in peace." I took another spoonful and deliberately ignored him. "I'm still hungry," he said, "Do you know what I want?" "No." I took a swig of my OJ. He leaned closer, grabbed my crotch, and whispered in my ear, "Your sausage!" Orange juice makes a very sticky mess, especially when it's spewed all over everything. All I could do was glare at Pete as he sat back in his chair, helpless with laughter. Kevin and Dad stared at me with a surprised glare. I realized I had covered both of them in atomized orange juice. Pointing to a silently laughing, occasionally gasping Pete, I claimed, "It's his fault!" Kevin and Dad looked at each other, then at Pete, who had fallen out of his chair and was rolling around on the kitchen floor holding his sides, tears streaming down his cheeks. They started chuckling as well. "Come on, Ben Let's get you cleaned up, then you can go back and change your clothes. I'll bring the boys over after I take another shower." Still chuckling, Dad agreed, and went out to the utility room. "Oh, and Brian? Clean this mess up." "Me? He caused it! I was just trying to eat!" "No arguing, Brian. Clean it up." I glared at Pete, who was still sitting on the floor. He stopped laughing long enough to look at me, and then roared again, pointing at me. Very much nonplussed, I cheerfully emptied my orange juice, and my cereal bowl, over his head. ---+++--- Clean up didn't take that long. Pete helped me after stripping down in the laundry room, and then we went back upstairs to shower again. As revenge, I didn't let him in the tub with me, and I used up almost all of the hot water. With an evil grin, I ushered him into the bathroom. "All yours. Enjoy!" Immediately suspicious, Pete warily entered, expecting something to leap out at him, but seeing nothing, he jumped in and started scrubbing. About halfway through, I snuck back in and waited for him to wash his hair. When he did, I flushed the toilet, sending cold water surging into the shower. "Brian! God that's cold!" "See what you get when you laugh at me? I still owe you, too." "How do you figure? Oh, man. There goes the hot water. What'd I do?" "I can't believe you just asked that! Fine. See if you get any in the near future." I walked back to our room and pulled out some fresh clothes. Pete followed me a moment later, his body still glistening with water. Closing the door, he dropped his towel. "I'm sorry, Bri. It was just too good to pass up!." He was trying hard to suppress a wide grin, and failing miserably. "I'm sure." "Besides, you got me back! You dumped juice and cereal all over me, and I helped you clean up. And you got me in the shower, too!" I grinned. "What? You afraid I'm going to cut you off?" "Not really," he said quietly, as he moved to stand in front of me, and looked into my eyes. My grin faded as he kissed me gently, then more passionately. I melted into his arms, all resistance gone. ---+++--- "Come on guys. Enough playing around in there. We have to meet Ben and then go take a look at that car." "We're almost ready, Kevin," I said. Pete and I were just laying on the bed holding each other. I studied his face for the thousandth time, taking in his strong jaw, his blond hair, and looking deep into his blue eyes, communicating with my soul all I felt. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you more." "Not possible." Closing my eyes, I kissed him gently. The door opened and Kevin peeked in. Seeing us laying on the bed in the buff, he pulled back quickly. "Geez, guys. Can't you get enough?" "Never," Pete whispered. I smiled happily. "Come on! We have an appointment in thirty minutes, and it's over in Sylvan! Get yer asses into some clothes and let's go! We still have to pick up your father, Brian!" "Okay, we're getting up," I said. "And we're getting a lock!" Pete yelled at Kevin as he retreated down the hall. He didn't answer. "I'm tired of getting walked in on." I giggled as I pulled on my shorts. "Aren't you?" "Yeah, I suppose. I guess I really don't care. I've got nothing to hide." He looked at me as I slipped on a pair of baggy jeans, and I didn't notice he had stopped moving until I had my t-shirt on. He wore a strange expression, like he was seeing me for the first time or something. "What?" He smiled slightly. "Just looking at you. You know how beautiful you are?" I blushed. "NOW, boys!" The moment was broken, and we hurried to finish dressing. The car was sweet. The guy said it was cherry, and it was. Pete looked it over with my dad while Kevin and I stood back. The guy selling the car told us the engine was tweaked to put out four-hundred horsepower. Kevin looked impressed. Pete and Dad took the car for a spin around the block while we spoke with the seller. He was a nice enough guy, but he looked like a biker in his mid-thirties with tattoos all over him. Something about him made me nervous. Ten minutes after they left, Pete and Dad pulled back into the driveway. The biker dude agreed to let us have the car to get it checked out with a mechanic. He was certain everything was fine, but he understood we wanted to get it checked out. I rode with Pete as we followed Dad and Kevin to the garage. He was so excited he was bouncing his seat. "Isn't this cool!" "Yeah. You gonna let me drive it when I get my license?" He glanced at me in alarm. "What, do you think I'm crazy or something?" He paused before continuing. "You would cut me off if I didn't." "Damn straight!" We traded smiles. I felt so fucking good! I don't think I'd ever felt that way before that moment. I had a boyfriend who loved me, and I felt that he loved me. That right there put me on cloud nine. We pulled into the mechanic's shop and turned the car over. The owner was a friend of Kevin's, so he knew the guy would give us an honest assessment. The four of us to Wendy's while we were waiting for the car to be finished. "Now Brian, no spewing on us this time," Dad said, "I need to do laundry and I don't have anything decent to wear. I couldn't get the smile off my face. I glanced to Pete, who wagged his eyebrows. "Don't you dare!" He just chuckled, and put his hand on my leg. Not only could I not quit smiling, I couldn't quit staring at him either. Dad asked, "Brian, are you okay?" Pete looked at me, concerned. I just kept smiling, and without looking away, I said, "Everything's perfect, Dad." "Are you sure? You're grinning like the Cheshire Cat over there." Finally, with great difficulty, I turned away from Pete's gaze and looked at my father. "I'm just happy, Dad. I've never been happier." I rested my head on Pete's shoulder. For once, I didn't care who saw us, or what they thought. Pete put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed. Dad looked around the room, but relaxed a bit when he saw no one was paying attention. Out of the corner of my eye, I did see a couple of boys watching us intently. When I looked at them, they just smiled and raised their clasped hands. I smiled back and nudged Pete, who grinned. I thought they were from our school, too. Our food came out, and we ate while discussing more of our plans for the road trip. Pete was adamant that our schedule be flexible so we could stop and stay somewhere if we wanted. Dad agreed only after we told him we'd get a cell phone. Kevin also insisted that the car be checked out thoroughly by the mechanic before we left on the trip. Pete agreed. When we were done eating, we walked back to the mechanic shop to find the car waiting for us. Dad, Kevin, and Pete spoke to the mechanic, then we went back to tattoo man's house, and the three of them haggled a bit over the price. Pete ended up dropping ten-thousand dollars, but according to Dad, it was worth it. The mechanic had said the car was in good condition, but could use some work. We'd drop the car off after we got the insurance taken care of. Pete was ecstatic. He was so funny. He kept repeating , "I can't believe it!" over and over again. Amused, I said, "Believe it already! It's your car!" He kept grinning the whole way to the insurance office. Kevin had added the car to his insurance for the multi-car discount and the homeowners discount, so Pete ended up paying a few hundred less than he would have otherwise. We then dropped the car off at the shop, and headed home. It was just past one o'clock when we arrived. Kevin dropped us off and then took Dad home. Jason and David were nowhere to be found. David's car was gone, but that was expected. Realizing we had the house to ourselves, we climbed the stairs to our room and closed the door. ---+++--- Pete and I spent Sunday, Monday and Tuesday with my dad at the farmhouse. We helped him repair the roof on the garage, replace the insulation in the attic, and while he was working, paint the exterior of the house and garage. It's amazing how much you can accomplish when you look at work as time spent with your boyfriend instead of the backbreaking labor it truly is. I think, secretly, Dad liked hanging out with us. He seemed more lively when we were both there, and smiled more than I remembered. He was even joking around with us, and on topics I would have thought he'd avoid, like sex and stuff. It finally dawned on me that Dad was not much different than Kevin. He wanted to be 'one of the boys' just like Kevin was. Dad had loosened up a lot since he'd moved to Portland. I think Kevin had a lot to do with it. Dad may not like that Pete and I are gay, but that doesn't stop him from treating us normally. He had even accepted the fact Pete and I were having sex, going so far as to buy us condoms and lubricant, even though we had no intention of needing those for some time to come. We were enjoying what we did, and didn't feel the need to go all the way. We'd finished painting the garage and half of the house by noon on Wednesday when Kevin called us and said Pete's car was ready to be picked up. Pete whooped and conned Kevin into picking us up and taking us over there immediately, and when he got there Pete was acting like a five year old, pulling on his sleeve and pushing him out the door. Kevin was laughing the whole time. Pete wrote a check to the mechanic, and we were on our way. The car needed new shocks and new plugs, but everything else checked out. It was good to go for our trip. One step closer to making it a reality! We went back to the farmhouse to finish painting. We didn't finish it until late Thursday afternoon. Dad was flying south that weekend, so we washed up and headed over to Pete's house. Jason and David were making dinner while Kevin made some phone calls from his office. The door was open, and we could hear him talking about Sharon to his divorce lawyer. It was a calm discussion, and Kevin didn't seem upset. Pete and I changed into sweats and went back downstairs to see if we could help with dinner, but David and Jason had it all under control, and without making a huge mess! "Hey, did you guys see?" Jason asked as he stirred a pot. "Grades came in the mail today." "Really?" I asked as I picked up my grades from the table and handed Pete his. "How'd you do?" "Better than I expected, actually. Old Simmons actually gave me the A in Government, so I made a three-point-six." "Great." "How'd you do, David?" Pete asked. "I don't know. They were mailed to my house." "Oh. Sorry, David," Pete said. I opened my envelope. "Don't worry about it, Pete. I'm not. I think I passed." He said it so deadpan it was funny. We knew he was an excellent student. "Anyway, I'm sure my folks'll just throw it in my room like all my other stuff. I'll find it eventually." I pulled out the report card. Pete said, "Hey! I got six A's!" "Excellent!" Jason said. "That's great, Pete!" "Hell yeah, Pete! Great job!" David was as pleased as Jason was. I looked at my card. "How'd you do, Brian?" "Oh, you know. I passed." Pete grinned. "Bullshit you passed, gimme that card!" He grabbed it out of my hand, and glanced over it. "A four-point. And you 'passed'." He embraced me and kissed me hard, taking my breath away. When I could breathe again, I asked, "What was that for?" "General purpose, and for helping me get the best grades I've ever had." "Love you, babe." "I love you too." Kevin came into the kitchen. "Well, how'd you guys do?" As if nothing had happened, I said, "Same as usual." "Yeah, his usual four-point," Pete said in a pseudo-disgusted voice. "I merely got six A's and a B." "That's terrific! I'm proud of you boys." Kevin stopped to watch Jason and David working at around the kitchen for a moment. "Jason, can you spare David for a bit?" "Sure. We're just waiting on the potatoes now." "Thanks. David, could I speak to you upstairs, please?" A half-panicked expression crossed David's face. In an unsteady voice, he said, "Sure." Kevin walked out of the kitchen, and David looked back to see Jason's reassuring smile. His answering smile appeared weak and uncertain, but he followed Kevin upstairs anyway. "Did you get your car, Pete?" "Yeah. It's out front." Jason walked to the living room window and looked out into the fading light. "I can't see it very well, but it looks nice. We'll check it out after dinner." "Thanks, Jason." Fifteen minutes later, Jason called for David and Kevin to come down for dinner. Shortly, they walked into the kitchen. Kevin had his arm around David's shoulders, and David's eyes were puffy and red. Jason quickly moved to David, questioning him with his eyes. "I'll tell you later, Jason. It's no big deal." "Are you sure?" David embraced Jason tightly. "I'm sure," he said, and then kissed Jason's lips. "Let's eat." About ten minutes after we started in , the doorbell rang. We traded puzzled looks, and Kevin answered the door. Whomever it was just stood at the door and spoke with Kevin in a hushed tone. A moment later, Mrs. Cox walked in. "Boys, Mrs. Cox would like a word with you." We all started to get up, but she stopped us. "Please, don't let me interrupt. I just have a few questions. First, have any of you been contacted by Raymond?" "What happened?" Jason asked. "Did he run?" Sadly, Mrs. Cox nodded. "He had a... a disagreement with his housing unit's supervisor. He escaped the home." Pete cleared his throat, and asked, "How long ago, Mrs. Cox?" "This morning. He took all of his personal things, and was seen just after eight running out the gate. Do you have any idea where he might be?" We thought for a moment, and then Pete said, "I might, but I'll have to check. I want to do it on my own though. No one following me. If he's running, he'll keep going if he sees anyone who wants to take him in." "I agree," said Mrs. Cox, "and that's why I came here. You boys have the best chance of finding him quickly." "We'll go now. Brian?" "Yes?" "I think you'd better come along. Just in case." I nodded and stood. "Thank you, both. We need to find him!" "We'll do our best, Mrs. Cox." Kevin asked, "Where do you think he is, son?" "Hiding. I doubt he's moving around much. He's trying to figure out what to do." "Yeah," I added. "He's going to be really upset, and not thinking straight, and he'll know that. He'll hole up somewhere." Pete and I headed to the door, followed by Kevin and Mrs. Cox. Pete said, "We'll call you as soon as we know if he's there or not. "Please do," she said. "I'm so worried about him. He's so angry." I said, "He'll be fine, Mrs. Cox. I'm sure he will." I opened the door. We were all so stunned we couldn't move. Ray stood on the porch, head down, sobbing. He was dirty, and his clothing was rumpled and cut up in places. Blood covered his hands, arms and shirt. More blood showed on his pants. He looked up at us, and I gasped. "Oh, my God." Mrs. Cox was as shocked as I was. Blood was smeared along his cheeks. Bloody cuts along Ray's arms ran from elbow to wrist, both inside and outside. Jason and David skidded to a halt behind Kevin. Ray looked each of us in the eye, and settled on Kevin. He held up his crimson-stained hands, and a pocket knife dropped from his suddenly limp fingers as his eyes filled with tears. He screamed, "Dad, help me!" ---oooOOOooo--- Constructive criticism and comments gladly accepted. Please e-mail me at dewey@deweywriter.com . Flames will be ignored and deleted. Please visit my website: http://deweywriter.com All new chapters are posted there well ahead of Nifty.