Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2000 23:09:37 -0400
From: dewey2k <dewey2k@yahoo.com>
Subject: For the Love of Pete Chapter 18

This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys partially
based on real people and events.  Names have been changed to protect the
guilty as well as the innocent.  All the usual rules apply.  If you
shouldn't be reading this now, then don't continue on.

Copyright Notice - Copyright August 2000 by Dewey.

This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights.

For the Love of Pete
Chapter Eighteen

While I took my shower, I had time to reflect on the last couple of days.
Being with Pete again still had a dream-like quality, but there was also a
very real aspect that had been driven home as we lay there in bed together
after I woke about five o'clock.  His head lay on my shoulder, his arm
across my chest, and his leg over mine. I could feel him breathing against
me, deep even breaths, a rhythm that set the pace of my reality.

He stirred under my hand as I stroked his hair and his back, slightly
repositioning himself against me.  Then I noticed something hard pressing
against my thigh.  I quickly realized what it was, and my body responded
immediately.

I lay there quietly, as still as I could be, torn between desire and fear.
Fear won out.  The next half-hour felt like an eternity with him sleeping
peacefully, his body molded to mine.  My mind was running on overdrive,
playing the possibilities through.  We both wanted to wait, but I wasn't
sure it would be possible if this was what I was to wake up to every
morning.

Pete stirred again, but this time, he kept moving, slowly.  I could tell he
was still asleep, probably dreaming.  His motion began to speed up,
grinding himself into me.  His breathing became quick and shallow.  All I
could do is lay there, absorbing all the sensations he was creating in my
body, while he...

I shook my head.  I didn't have time to do this now. We only had an hour to
make it to court, and Pete still needed to shower.  I only hoped that my
excitement would be less obvious by the time I was done.

"Brian?  Can I come in for a sec?"  It was Jason.

"Sure. I'll be out in just a second though."

He came into the bathroom and started digging through the medicine cabinet.
"You sleep well?"

I took a moment to respond as I was rinsing my hair. "Yeah.  I woke up
early though.  I'm still kind of tired but I'll be OK."  I laughed with no
mirth.  "I feel about normal."

"You always have trouble sleeping?"

"Usually.  But I'm used to it."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are.  I'm out of here.  Thanks."

"Hey, your place, your rules.  No big deal."  The door shut behind him.  I
did a final rinse, shut off the water, opened the shower curtain, grabbed
my towel, and dried myself as quickly as I could.  Wrapping my towel around
me, I went back to Pete's room.  He was still dozing there as I entered,
completely relaxed, and more beautiful than the last time I saw him, not
more than twenty minutes ago.  As I moved toward him, he raised his head
and smiled at me.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah.  More because I am here with you than the shower, though."  I sat on
the bed next to him and kissed him gently.  "Better hurry up if you want
breakfast before we go. We're running late."  He kissed me again, and
jumped out of bed.  "Um, I think we should change the sheets."  Pete
blushed and grinned shyly.  "I'm sorry about that.  I haven't had a wet
dream in almost a year."

I smiled back.  "Don't worry.  I enjoyed it!"  His face went from red to
purple, and he giggled nervously as he put on his shorts for the dash to
the bathroom.  I dressed and was downstairs by the time he returned.

Kevin was eating, as were Jason and Ray. Joanne must have still been
asleep.  Sharon was running around the kitchen, both cleaning up and making
more of a mess as she finished up making waffles for me and Pete.

The meal was a quiet affair.  Nothing much was said.  I think we were all
afraid to jinx the decision by talking about it.  Pete came down as I was
polishing off my first helping.

"Hurry and eat up, kids.  We have to go in fifteen minutes.  We can't be
late this morning."  Kevin rose, heading upstairs to finish dressing.  Pete
and I finished up in short order, completed our morning ablutions, and were
waiting at the door for Kevin.  He grinned at us as he came down the
stairs.

"You guys ready?  Obviously.  Let's do it then."  He kissed Sharon long and
hard.  Pete and I looked at each other with a wry grin.  Obviously there
must have been more going on than we wanted to know about.  "Love you,
babe.  See you later."  I opened the door and followed Pete and Kevin out
to the van.

We drove directly to the courthouse and parked in the garage underneath.
As we took the stairs up to the main level, I caught sight of Brenda and
her lawyer getting out of a limo.  I pointed her out to Kevin and he
hurried Pete up the stairs in front of him.  We made it to the courtroom
before they spotted us.

Van was waiting for us.  He gave us an encouraging grin and motioned Pete
to his seat.  Kevin and I sat behind them in the front row of the gallery.
Brenda and her lawyer came in, the weasel was whispering fiercely in her
ear, and angry expression on his face.  She just looked at him with
disdain.

The lawyer stopped in his tracks and said, loudly enough for me to hear,
"If you decide to do this, you leave me no choice but to remove myself from
your case."  She turned on him, her eyes cold, expression bitter.  "You're
bungling lost it anyway. You're terminated."

"You'll have my bill by morning.  Good day, madam."  He turned on his heel
and walked out of the courtroom, back stiff, without a backward glance.

I glanced to Kevin to see his reaction.  He pretended not to notice, but I
did see a small upturn at the corner of his mouth.  I couldn't see Van's
expression from where I was sitting.  Pete watched his mom with
impassivity, no expression at all.  I could see pain in his eyes though.  I
think I was the only person in the world who could.

She came forward and sat without word or glance in our direction, her face
neutral, eyes flashing, rigid in her seat.  There was so much rage in her
that it filled the room. I could almost taste her fury.

"All Rise!  The Honorable Julie S. Desparo presiding."

"You may be seated.  Ms. Jameson, do you have anything you would like to
say before I render my decision in this matter?"  Brenda shook her head
sharply.  "Mr. Jameson?"

Van responded, "Nothing at this time, your honor."

"All right then. Moving onward.  I won't waste any time here. The
petitioner has more than proven his case to the satisfaction of this court,
insofar as the respondent is not fit to have custody of this or any other
child."

I heard Pete and Kevin breath out heavily.  I realized I was holding my
breath too, and let it out as I turned to see Brenda's reaction to the
judges words, but she was stoic.  Nothing had changed in her expression.  I
swung by gaze back to the judge as she continued on.

"... has, in the opinion of this court, met the requirements for
emancipation from the custody of his natural parents.  Therefore, by the
order of this court, Peter Daniel Jameson, age 16, is hereby emancipated,
and is a legal adult from this moment forward.  Counselor, you will have
the appropriate paperwork on my desk by tomorrow morning."

Van responded immediately, "If it pleases the court, I have the documents
with me, your honor."

"Very well, Mr. Vanderkamp.  I will take them now."  The bailiff took the
papers from Van's outstretched arm and handed them to the judge.  She
glanced through them briefly and nodded her head. "Anything else?
Ms. Jameson?"

Brenda stood, turned around and walked out, sparing not as much as a glance
or sneer for Pete.

"I'll take that as a no.  Mr. Jameson?"

Van spoke again. "No your hon-" Pete's hand stopped him mid-sentence. Van
looked surprised, as were we all. "If it pleases the court, I would like a
moment to confer with my client."

"Certainly.  Take as long as you need, within reason."

Pete and Van huddled together speaking in hushed tones, so quiet we
couldn't hear what was being said.  Kevin, a worried look on his face,
stood to join them, but Van stopped him in his tracks with a gesture.  He
sat heavily.  Pete and Van's conversation took another two minutes.

While we watched them, I asked, "What are they talking about, Kevin?"

"I don't know.  I can't imagine that there is anything more to speak about
here."  He shrugged.

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

Van spoke louder now, loud enough for us to hear him.  "Are you certain you
want to do this?"  Pete nodded, resolve on his face.  "Okay Pete.  It's
your decision."  Van turned to the judge once more.  "Sidebar your honor?"

Ms. Desparo looked confused by the unusual request considering we were the
only people in the room besides the stenographer and the bailiff, but she
motioned Van to the bench.  As he moved from behind his table, he stared
hard at Kevin, a piercing, measuring look.  It was only a second, but it
must have spoke volumes to Kevin.  I could see his hands shaking.

Van and the judge spoke at length, Pete watching them the whole time, his
face a rigid mask with no expression whatsoever.  Kevin was so nervous he
began bouncing his knee at a fast pace.  His hands were still shaking as he
wringed them together.  Van must have had more of an effect on Kevin than I
thought he did.  At long last, Van retreated to his chair.  He sat on the
edge, leaning forward, as if poised for action.  Kevin noticed as well, and
if anything, it agitated him more.

"Mr. Jameson, you may address the court."

"Thank you your honor.  I would first like to thank the court for its
judgment in this matter, without which I could not make the following
request.  I would beg the courts indulgence."  At Ms. Desparo's nod, he
continued.

"As I have been emancipated by this court, and now have no ties to the
people that raised me, I think it appropriate that I make a fresh start on
my new life, with as clean a break from the past as possible.  I have no
desire to be associated with the people who abused and abandoned me.  As
much to forget the past as go on with my future, I would ask the court to
authorize a name change for me."  Kevin sat up rigidly, ramrod straight,
motionless.

"I think that can be arranged.  You have a name in mind, I take it?"

"Yes, your honor, I do.  In my life, I have known very few people who truly
love me unconditionally.  I think it a rare enough occurrence that it
should be recognized.  I would be honored to take the name Patterson as my
own, if Kevin and his family will permit me."  Pete turned to Kevin.

Kevin's jaw dropped to his lap, I swear.  He was completely stunned,
speechless, blinking as if he couldn't believe his ears.  I saw tears
welling up in the corners of his eyes.

"Mr. Patterson?"  He cleared his throat, and slowly stood.  Kevin cleared
his throat again, his eyes never leaving Pete's.  Brushing tears away, he
spoke, his voice thick with emotion.  "Judge Desparo, it would be my great
honor to give my name to Pete.  A great honor indeed."

Pete's reaction to Kevin's words was immediate.  He closed the gap between
them instantly, wrapping his arms around Kevin in a bear hug.  Kevin
responded in kind.  They were both in tears, whispering in each others ear.

"Mr. Vanderkamp, please have the appropriate paperwork on my desk as soon
as practical.  I'd like to file these two orders at the same time."

"I will have it for you by noon, your honor."

"Thank you.  Anything else?"

"I don't believe so, no."

"Very well then.  This court is adjourned."  And with a bang of the gavel,
Peter Daniel Jameson became Mr. Peter Daniel Patterson.

* * * * *

The ride home was quiet, with Kevin lost in his thoughts.  Pete and I were
in the back seat, holding hands and leaning on each other for support.
Kevin kept glancing back at us and shaking his head slightly, a small smile
on his face.  I had no idea what was on his mind, and I didn't care.  With
a sigh, I rested my head on Pete's shoulder, and he rested his head against
mine as he put his arm around my shoulders.  He spoke to me softly.

"It's over, Bri.  I'm free of her.  I won't ever have to see her again.
You and I will never have to be apart again.  I can go wherever I need to
so we can be together."  He stroked my hair as he spoke.  His voice held a
vacant quality, like he was unsure of what he said, saying the words to
convince me as well as himself that it was all true.  Lapsing into silence,
he pulled me as close as I could get to him wearing the seatbelt.  We sat
like that the rest of the way home, my head on his shoulder.  When we
arrived at Pete's place, Danny's rental was parked in front.  Reluctantly,
we climbed out and went inside.  Danny was talking to Sharon about
something that sounded suspiciously like my parents.  Jason must have
stayed home from school because he was listening to them as we came in.

Sharon and Danny stood as we came in the room, a hopeful look on their
faces.  Kevin cleared his throat again, came up between Pete and I and put
his arms around us. He took a deep breath and spoke. "Sharon, Jason, Danny,
may I have the honor of introducing to you Mr.  Peter Daniel P-Patterson?"
Kevin obviously still didn't really believe Pete wanted to take Patterson
as his name.  Sharon and Jason had the same stunned look on their face that
Kevin had had when Pete asked to have his name changed.  Danny blinked a
couple of times and then broke into a wide grin.  He moved forward and
embraced Pete happily for a moment, and then backed out to arms length.

"So what does that mean, exactly?"  Pete looked back to Kevin, who still
didn't really have it together.  He faced Danny once more.

"The judge granted my petitions.  I am a legal adult now, emancipated from
my... emancipated.  After the decision was announced I asked the judge if I
could change my last name, you know, for a clean break.  She asked me what
I wanted to change it to."  He put his arm over Kevin's shoulders and
looked to Sharon and Jason.

"I chose Patterson because your home was the first place I found acceptance
when I needed it most.  Later, your home became a refuge, a safe place I
could go when I was hurting, or afraid, and eventually your home became my
home too.  What you have done for me I can never repay you for.  I thought
that, maybe, by asking for your name, I could show you my gratitude
somehow.  If it wasn't for all of you, I probably wouldn't be alive today."

Sharon and Jason came forward, and the Pattersons joined in a family hug.
I smiled slightly as I heard murmured endearments and saw them draw closer
together.  I had no right to feel jealous or left out, but I did.  My
family was never this close, and Pete isn't really their family.  They love
him though.  That much was obvious.

My smile faded as I began to brood on my own family situation. Danny must
have noticed my expression change as he came up from behind and put his
arms around me, squeezing tight, letting me know I was loved I put my hands
on his strong arms and squeezed, telling him I got the message.

Pete wriggled out of the group embrace, grabbed me by the shirtsleeve, and
pulled me to him.  Kevin opened his arms to receive me into the group,
saying, "We'd never leave a loved one out of the family.  You are welcome
here any time, under any circumstances, Brian."  Sharon and Jason murmured
their assent, and the embrace grew tight once again.  For some inexplicable
reason, I felt tears rising in my eyes. Maybe it was because I was happy
for Pete, or that I had for the first time, excluding Danny, that I had
found acceptance for who I really was, not who I had to pretend to be.  I
felt safe.  I glanced over at Danny and saw him smiling at me, approval on
his face.

Gradually, we separated.  Kevin and Sharon asked Pete and Jason to follow
them upstairs to the office.  I tried to follow, but Danny held me back.

"Give them some time.  They have some legal stuff they need to clear up,
and I need to talk to you anyway."  He led me into the kitchen and got
himself a glass of water, then sat at the table.  I followed suit.

"I spoke with your parents today.  They have agreed to fly up here for a
week and look into the possibility of moving up to this area.  They said
they had thought about moving up here before you were born, and just
didn't.  Just don't get your hopes up.  And by the way, your stay here has
been extended until your parents go back home, but you'll have to travel
back with them.  They are bringing up your homework.  They'll be here on
Friday."

"I'm not staying with them.  I'm staying here with Pete.  I belong with
him."

"Look, Brian.  We have had this discussion before.  You belong with your
parents.  I know you are still angry with them, but the fact remains they
are your parents, with all the legal rights.  They have been really good in
dealing with your rejection of them, by letting you live with me, and
allowing you to come up here in the first place.  They could have forbidden
me to allow you to see Pete at all.  But they didn't.  I think it is
finally sinking in for them, that you and Pete are not going to just drift
apart."

"Damn right we're not!"

He held up a finger, forestalling any further comment.  "If they decide not
to move up here, you are going to have to go home.  You have no choice in
that.  And I won't help you stay if that is their decision. I can't from a
legal standpoint. And besides, I can't stay another week.  I have to cover
another guys vacation.  So you have a choice. Go back with me on Sunday, or
go home with them next Saturday.  Your call."

I knew he was right.  He always was.  But I didn't care about legalities or
what my parents wanted.  So what?  I was a petulant teenager.  I knew I
belonged with Pete, wherever he was.

I sighed.  "What am I going to do, Danny?  I am so pissed at them.  It
feels like I will never forgive them, you know?  They hurt me so bad.  And
it's not the first time.  Am I supposed to forgive them every time they
stab me in the heart?  Turn the other cheek?  How can I forget it all, and
give them another chance, like you keep saying?"  I looked into his eyes,
and I could see real pain and regret.

"I don't know, Brian.  If I did I would tell you in a heartbeat.  Somewhere
in that big heart of yours, you have to find the strength."

I snorted.  Big heart? Me? Yeah, right.  I sighed again.  "I'll think about
it, Danny.  That's all I can promise."

"That's all I can ask, Brian, but don't forget, I leave on Sunday."  He
stood, stretched, and said, "I am going to head back to the hotel.  I have
some business to take care of.  Do you need anything?"

"No, I guess not.  They'll be here on Friday?"

"Yes."

"I guess I don't have much time then."

"I'm going to take off.  You have the number if anything comes up."  As I
stood to walk him to the door, Danny engulfed me in one of his patented
bear hugs.  "I'm proud of you, whatever decision you make.  I'm here for
you, okay?"  I nodded as he released me to arms length.  "Okay then.  I'll
talk to you later."  He patted me on the shoulder, and then preceded me to
the door.  As he opened it, he turned one last time and said, "Call me if
you need anything, for any reason, okay?"

"Okay, if anything comes up I'll call you."  He ruffled my hair and went
out to his rental.  I closed the door as soon as he got in, and settled on
the couch to wait for the Pattersons to finish their family pow wow.
Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV and put on one of those cheesy
daytime talk shows, but my mind wasn't on the fifteen year old punked out
teenagers sleeping with their parent's friends.

What was I going to do. With all my heart and soul I wanted and needed to
stay with Pete.  How could I possibly convince my mom and dad, who both
hated the idea I was in love with another boy, that it was in my best
interests to be with that boy?  That the only way I could possibly be happy
was with that boy at my side?  That this was right?

I shook myself out of that line of reasoning.  It was depressing.  I would
do what I could.  I would discuss this as a rational adult, give my
reasons, and lay it on the line what the consequences would be for each
option my parents had: to let me stay with Pete, or to take me away from
him.  The decision didn't come easily.  I thought about it a lot, for at
least an hour.

Making the decision to trust my fate to them just happened.  The past
wasn't a consideration at the time, and why that was the case I can't
imagine.  Reflexively, I still distrusted them to do what was best for me.
But for some reason, be it fate or providence, I had decided to give them
the chance that Danny had asked of me.  I knew in my heart that it was the
right thing to do.

As I continued to wait for Pete to come back down, I thought about what it
would be like if I could stay here with Pete.  My mind ran amok with all
the possibilities, like where we would live and what we would do together.

It was incomprehensible to me that he was an adult.  I mean, he was only a
kid, barely sixteen years old.  Now he had all the responsibilities of an
adult, making a living, paying taxes, bills, and on top of all that, he had
to go to school too.  How could he handle it all?  I didn't even realize
that they had come down stairs until Pete sat next to me, a concerned look
on his face.

"You okay, Bri?  We lost you there for a minute."

"Oh.  Yeah.  I'm okay.  Just doing some heavy thinking.  My parents will be
here on Friday.  Job hunting, I suppose.  Danny leaves on Sunday.  I have
to decide if I want to leave with him, or leave when my parents do, next
Friday.

"Really, that's not a choice. Of course I'm staying.  The question then
becomes, since they will be responsible for me while they are up here, will
they let me stay with Pete, or will they make me stay with them."  Everyone
was seated now, Sharon and Kevin on the loveseat, and us three boys on the
couch.  "I honestly don't know how they will respond.  Yesterday I would
have said there was no way.  But after talking with Danny about it, and
thinking about it, I am going to lay it on the line, and tell them how I
feel about right now, not about what happened in the last three years.  I
think that they have given them a clear picture of how I feel about that.
Maybe too clear.  And of course, the decision whether or not Pete and I
will live close to one another."  I shrugged my shoulders to fight off the
sense of dread that was creeping over me.

Kevin spoke.  "You realize that the possibility that your parents will move
all the way up here is meager at best, right?"  I nodded, afraid to voice
my answer.

"Brian," Sharon said quietly, "I understand your feelings.  Danny told me
of your past difficulties with your parents.  It takes a lot of strength
and maturity to come to the decision you have, and a lot of courage."

I cleared my throat.  "I don't know about strength, courage, or maturity.
All I know is it's time to move on, now that I'm back with Pete.  I can't
dwell on the past any longer."  Pete hugged me close to him, and kissed me
on the cheek.  I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, relishing
the feel of his arms around me.  A few seconds later, the realization that
I had taken the attention from where it belonged.  Today was Pete's day.
Pete Patterson's day.

Raising my head, I looked into Pete's eyes and asked, "What's next?  Where
do you go from here?"

"Well, we have to revisit the will, and see what my having my majority
changes.  There are other things, such as getting my name change completed
in school, and on my accounts, and filling out the petition for adoption."

I did a double take on that one.  "Adoption?"

He smiled at me and nodded, joy shining on his face.  "Yeah.  Kevin,
Sharon, and Jason all asked me to think about becoming part of the family
legally.  It won't change anything other than make them my parents.  I'll
still be a legal adult."  He grinned at them.  "It didn't take much to
convince me."

"You're serious?"  He nodded.  "I... I don't know what to say.  I'm so
happy for you, Pete!  You have no idea!"  I wrapped him in my arms and
tried to squeeze the life out of him.

"Hey, Bri," cough, "Not so hard.  You're going to crack a rib!  Leggo of
me, you dork!"  He struggled to get away from me, so I finally released
him, grinning.  He panted, acting as if he had difficulty breathing, move
arms distance away, and happily planted his fist on my shoulder.  "Jerk!"

"HEY!"  I rubbed my shoulder, trying to keep a hurt look on my face, but it
was hopeless.  We were both excited and had energy to work off.

We spent the rest of the day playing around.  Jason offered to take us to a
movie, and we took him up on his offer.  After the film, we headed to the
park with the football and the basketball and ran each other ragged. Ray
appeared about four o'clock and joined in.  When we had exhausted
ourselves, we fell into a heap on the grass, sprawled out wherever gravity
took us on the way down.  Pete's head happened to land on my stomach, which
I didn't mind one bit.

Laying there, we watched the clouds gather overhead, talking about whatever
came to mind.  We consciously avoided talking about anything having to do
with Pete's majority or my parents, instead keeping the tone light, talking
about hot guys (to my surprise, Jason joined in on that topic), football,
the movie we saw, the movies we wanted to see, things we wanted to do when
we "grew up".

We lay there talking until I felt the first rain begin to fall.  Although
loathe to get up, get up we did, and made our way home at a slow walk,
ignoring the rain soaking us slowly.  It was invigorating and cleansing for
me, washing away some of the tension I had been carrying.

By the time we made it back with out being dripping wet.  None the less, we
stripped to our shorts in the garage and took our turns in the showers.  We
sat down to a pleasant dinner with the whole family.

I really watched how they treated Pete, if there was any hint of partiality
to Jason or Ray.  I found none.  They treated all the kids, even me, the
same.  A smile here or there, a minor rebuke for some small lapse in
manners, an encouraging word as Ray and Joanne reported on their day at
school.  I was beginning to see what had drawn Pete to ask for their name,
and what would move him to become part of this family in truth, and not
just in practice.

Dinner was over.  We boys cleared the table in no time, and Sharon brought
out a cake with "Congratulations Pete" written on it.  She cut and served
it to us while Pete repeated what he'd said in court, and thanked them all
again.  Ray, however, was not completely happy.  I found out later he was
depressed since no progress had been made on his adoption.  Poor kid.

The remainder of the evening was spent in the family room watching TV.  The
next thing we knew, it was eleven o'clock and I was yawning so hard my jaw
popped. I excused myself and went to bed, and was asleep the moment my head
hit the pillow, not even waking as Pete wrapped himself around me before he
fell asleep.  * * * * *

I awoke in the middle of the night, completely alert.  I had a disturbing
feeling in my gut, like someone had slugged me when I wasn't prepared.
Sometimes I woke with this feeling, and every time I did, something
happened within the next couple of days that changed my life radically.  I
had the same feeling a day before Pete came out to me, two days before he
was taken from me, and a day before my dad gave me Pete's letters. I hate
having these premonitions.  They mean my life is going to be turned upside
down again, and the only thing that popped into my head was my parents
refusing to let me be with Pete.  I never did get back to sleep.

Pete woke up a little after seven.  He yawned and stretched out as best he
could, considering we were still entangled, and then snuggled closer.  I
couldn't believe how feeling his warm body against mine made me feel.
Complete, fulfilled, content.  We lay there for over an hour, neither of us
saying anything, or paying attention to erections that occasionally made
themselves known, instead, satisfied to lay in each others arms.

There was a quick knock on the door.  I ignored it, as did Pete.  The door
opened slightly.

"You guys decent?"  It was Kevin.

"Yeah, come on in."  Pete responded through a sigh.  He made no effort to
separate from me as

Kevin came in, so I didn't either, even though I was slightly uncomfortable
at him seeing us like this.  He just peeked his head in the door though,
and seeing us in each others arms grinned.

"Aw, ain't that sweet!  I'm getting ready to head down town, Pete. You need
to go with me to sign the adoption paperwork and pick up your 'I'm an
adult' card."  He grinned.  "So whenever you two lovebirds can manage to
get out of bed, we'll get those errands out of the way and you can have the
rest of the day to yourselves."

"Okay, give me a few minutes and I'll be ready."

He smiled as he said in a soft, kindly voice, "Take your time, boys.  I'm
in no hurry," and withdrew, closing the door behind him.

"Time to get up, baby.  As much as I hate to leave your arms...."

"Me too, Pete."

"Well, he said to take our time.  Brian, we didn't talk about what happened
yesterday.  I was so embarrassed. Still am.  I didn't mean..."

"Shhhh.  I know. You have nothing to worry about.  It was special to me."

"But still... we promised not to have sex until later."

"You were asleep!  You didn't have control of it.  But like I said, it was
special to me."  I lay quietly for a minute before I continued.  "Pete?"

"Hmm?"

"Where is the line between not being sex and being sex?"

"I don't know for sure.  That's something we'll have to decide.
Realistically we could have sex now, but neither of us want that.  Well, we
want it, but you know what I mean.  How far is far enough then?  Maybe we
just have to play it by ear."  I sighed contentedly, and we lay there for
several more minutes.  "I'm sorry, Bri, but if I don't get up now, I won't
get up."

"So?  What's so bad about that?"

"I'd love to stay, but I do have some business to take care of."  He gave
me a peck on the cheek.  We disentangled ourselves and completed our
morning ablutions.  We were ready to go by nine.

Kevin took us down to the court house to sign the papers from yesterday and
for the adoption.  It took less time than I thought it would.  When all was
said and done, Pete came out with a picture ID from the state that had
"EMANCIPATED" in bold type across the top.  And it was a cute picture, too.

Having completed our errands, Kevin dropped us off at the house before
heading into his office for the first time since I had met him.

"It must be nice to have a job where you can take off as much time as you
want, huh, Pete?"

He just grinned.  "We'll see.  Maybe someday you and I will have that kind
of life."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry.  Things will work out.  If your parents won't let us stay
together, at least we can stay in communication now, at the bare minimum.
Legally I can move anywhere I want to, even down there.  Maybe Danny will
let me live with him if they decide to go that way.  Brian, things will
work out.  Trust me, okay?"

I sighed heavily.  "It's just so hard to trust. To trust anyone, not just
you.  But I'll try."

The remainder of the day was spent much as the previous one. We went out
for a movie, ate lunch at a steak house, did some shopping, played some
video games, just doing what teens do.  No one questioned why we were out
of school, which kind of surprised me.  Guess I was kind of paranoid. But
we had a great time, anyway.

That evening after dinner, I began to get nervous about seeing my
parents. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got.  They were
coming up here to decide my fate, whether I lived happily, or lived
devastated.  Frightening possibilities began to intrude on my already
chaotic thoughts.  I imagined scenario after scenario, losing Pete in each
one.

My breathing had accelerated to short, shallow breaths, and my knee was
bouncing.  Pete noticed my anxiety, and put his hand on my knee to stop it.
Now one thing to understand about me, I am not a person with a lot of
nervous energy, almost never bouncing my knee or drumming my fingers.  I
glanced to his hand, and then at his face.  He was watching me with a
worried expression on his face, and behind him on the loveseat, I saw
Sharon quietly observing us.  My paranoia decided to kick in at that point,
leaving me feeling like I was under a microscope, and couldn't breathe.  I
couldn't stand it.  I had to get away!

I lunged up off the couch and almost tore down the front door trying to
open it.  Once outside, I ran from the house toward the most wide open area
I knew- the park down the street.  As I ran, I tried to slow my breathing
from fast and irregular to slow and deep, but my body wouldn't respond.  I
kept going.  If I kept running, everything would be all right, just like it
should to be.  I could live my life with Pete, and my parents could live
theirs.

Breathe.  Even out the stride.  Smooth.  Breathe.

I couldn't get my breathing right.  I couldn't slow it down, and I was
getting light headed.  The park was only a quarter mile ahead.  I could
make it.

"Brian!"

Gotta keep going.  I'm almost there.

"Brian, stop!"  I could hear Pete behind me, but I had to finish my run.
Only one hundred yards to go.  I could hear other voices now, closing in on
me.  Seventy yards.  Fifty yards.

"Brian, stop it! This won't fix anything!"  Thirty yards.  My vision
started clouding, all I could see was the bench, but that was enough to get
me there.  Twenty.  My legs started going out on me.  I started slowing so
I wouldn't run into the bench.  I collapsed to my knees as I got there,
still breathing too fast, and not deeply enough to get any air.

The realization dawned on me all at once as Pete, Sharon and Kevin came
skidding to a halt around me.  What a complete idiot I was, working myself
up into a panic attack, then sprinting almost a mile while
hyperventilating.  I could very easily have lost consciousness and split my
fool head open on the bench.

I knelt there, just breathing, trying to relax.  Pete knelt beside me, his
hand on my back.  From behind, I heard the van come to a screeching halt in
the parking lot.

"Jason, get a paper bag out of the back."

"Is he okay?"

"Just hurry."

A few seconds later, I felt someone hold a bag to my mouth and nose.
Without being told, I kept breathing.

"Brian, can you understand me?"  Sharon.  I nodded.

"Do you feel faint?"

I wagged one of my hands on the bench.  I really wasn't that bad.  Good
thing I was in excellent shape.

"I want you to sit down, okay?  It will be easier to lay you down if it
comes to that."  I shifted myself around until I sat on the ground.  The
whole time, Pete kept the bag applied to my face.  I replaced his hands
with mine as soon as I was settled, giving one of them a quick squeeze as
he withdrew.  He looked me in the eyes, and I nodded slightly, not trusting
myself to speak.  He half smiled, and nodded back.

"He's okay," Pete said, "He just needs to calm down a bit."

Sharon looked at him sharply. "How do you know that?  He just had a major
panic attack."

"I just know."  He leaned over, kissed my forehead, and stood, pulling
Kevin off to the side.  They spoke in tones I couldn't hear.  My breathing
was slowing now.  The dizziness was gone, as was the tunnel vision.  A few
more minutes and I'd be fine.

Sharon knelt in front of me.  "Do you know what caused the attack?"  I
nodded.  "Is the light headedness gone?"  I nodded again.  "Okay.  Give the
bag a few more minutes, then you can take it off."  I nodded once more.
Sharon rose and joined Kevin and Pete in their conversation.  Jason, who
had been leaning against the van, sat on the bench beside me.

Feeling silly sitting on the ground, I move to the bench beside him.  "You
feeling okay, Brian?"

I removed the paper bag, took a few short breaths, and then a long, deep
one.  Noticing no ill effects, I answered him ruefully.  "Yeah.  I feel
stupid though.  I was thinking about my parents and all the possibilities
and the what ifs and what it would be like without Pete....  The next thing
I knew I was hyperventilating in a full blown panic attack, and just had to
get out of the house into the air.  Why I ran...."  I shrugged.  "I've
never had a panic attack before."

"Meeting your parents really bothers you, huh?"

"Yeah.  I mean, I know I have to give them another chance.  It's the right
thing to do.  But I don't trust them.  I can't trust them.  But the only
way Pete and I can be together is to get their permission, if not their
approval.  So, I have no other way but to let them have their choice."

"What will you do if they say no?"

I took a deep breath, and looked at my feet.  "I don't know.  I probably
won't until it happens."  Jason kicked at a loose rock.  "I can see how
much you love each other.  I can also see that you are both scared.  Scared
you might make a mistake, scared of getting too close, scared of being
separated.  I know Pete well enough now that you don't have to worry about
making a mistake with him.  He loves you completely.  It's obvious to all
of us.  Except you, maybe.  As far as separation, until you are 18, there
really isn't much you can do about it.  And it makes sense that you don't
want to get too close if that possibility exists.

"What I am trying to say here is, maybe it's worth the risk of getting
closer.  You don't know for sure your parents will go that way.  If they
do, then you two have that much more to hold you together while you wait.
If they let you stay, then you can just keep going.  That's my take on it,
anyway."

I was quiet after he finished.  A lot of what he had said didn't make sense
to me. Scared to get too close to Pete?  That's all I wanted!  And Pete
loving me completely?  Well, I have more baggage than a 747.  I just hoped
the load on my shoulders wouldn't land on his.  All we could do is wait and
see.

Glancing over my shoulder, I could see Kevin, Sharon, and Pete engrossed in
a hushed but animated conversation.  Kevin was the only person facing me in
the trio.  Noticing me watching, he held up his hands, signaling an end to
the discussion.  All three turned and approached me.  I really hated being
the center of attention like this.  I much preferred being in the
background.

"Are you feeling better?"  Sharon's voice held obvious concern.

"Yeah.  I'm fine. Can we go now?"  I really didn't want to dwell on what
caused this stupid episode.  Talk about being embarrassed.

Sharon glanced at Kevin.  "Sure. Come on.  Get in the van."  With great
relief, I did as directed.

Once we were all in, we made the short drive back to Pete's house.  Nothing
was said by anyone.  Pete lay his hand in my lap, which I took in my hand.
Smiling slightly to let him know I was fine, I rested my head on his
shoulder.

When we got back, Sharon wasted no time in asking me what happened.  I told
her, and that it was no big deal.  She gave me a look that said,
"Yeah... right," but didn't press the issue.

Not much later, I made my way upstairs to bed.  Pete, who hadn't really
said anything after we got back, had just stayed close to me.  He followed
me up to the room, and shut the door.

"It was your parents."  I nodded.  "Has this happened before? A panic
attack?"

"No.  First time.  It's stupid."  He must have thought I was the biggest
loser on the earth. I began to undress, holding back the tears of
humiliation.

"Maybe.  Brian, I wish you wouldn't worry so much.  We will be together.
If not now, then soon enough.  We went through three years, not knowing
anything about each other, and we made it.  This time we know.  I love you,
and you love me.  They can never change that.  Never.  Even if they split
us up again, we can still talk.  Letters and phone calls.  A week here and
there.  I know it's not the best situation, but we can handle it.  I know
it."

"I hope so.  I can't imagine losing you again."  I finished removing my
clothes, and sat on the bed, watching Pete strip.

"You won't.  It'll never happen.  Even if we're separated."  He removed his
shirt.  I think I started to drool, but I can't be sure.

"I am so tired of being afraid, living in fear!  Why can't I just live a
normal life?"  It was more of a statement than a question.  Pete didn't
respond immediately, instead concentrating on removing his jeans without
falling over.  He had to hop a couple of times to keep his balance, causing
me to laugh.  He finally got them off, leaning against the door.

"That's what I like to hear.  It'll get better." Pulling down the covers,
he motioned me to follow him.  He didn't need to tell me twice.  I snuggled
in close to him, molding my body to his.  He giggled.  "You forgot to turn
out the light."  I groaned.  Pulling myself away from him, I felt his hand
trail down my back as I got out of bed.  At the last minute, he scooped his
finger under the waistband of my boxer-briefs and snapped it.  I looked at
him over my shoulder, seeing his broad smile.

Stopping at the switch, I just looked at him, taking in his every visible
feature, from his beautiful eyes to his smile, to his hairless chest, to
his tight abs.  He grinned at me as he pulled back the covers.  I could
tell he was excited by the tent in his boxers.  He looked absolutely
incredible.  I can still see that image in my mind's eye.

"See something you like?"  I stared for a long moment, all the while his
amusement was growing.  I loved him so much, it hurt.  Something clicked in
my soul.  I knew, in my heart, without a doubt, that we were destined to be
together for the rest of our lives, even if we had to live separately for
some time.  Love does transcend all boundaries.

"God, you are so beautiful.  I can't take my eyes off of you."

He giggled. "I can see that.  And you're not exactly ugly yourself."

Turning of the light at last, I made my way to the bed, pausing to take off
my briefs.  As I did, I could hear Pete do the same.  Climbing into bed, I
met him halfway, our lips coming together in a, tender passionate kiss.

Constructive criticism and comments gladly accepted.  Please e-mail me at
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