Date: Tue, 26 Sep 2006 11:30:39 +0100
From: Nigel Dean <takemypantsoff@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Garth's Amazing Invention

HI: here's a fun little tale for you. Do please let me know what you think:
takemypantsoff@hotmail.co.uk


My employer was philanthropic, or was he ? Every Wednesday he sent me on a
day release course at the local college of further education. Generous ? No,
there was a government scheme that paid him to send me ! He actually made a
profit from my attending. What a load of bollocks !

Garth also attended the college on a day release each Wednesday although he
was on a totally different course, mine was retail management and he was
studying mechanical engineering. Why Garth needed to attend a course would
not be clear unless you realise that his employer was also making a profit,
Garth knew more than all of the lecturers put together. He was a mechanical
genius. We had met up in the canteen one lunch time and became instant
friends. When I passed my driving test and got my first car it was Garth's
magic touch that kept the old jalopy on the road.

"The engine's running rough again," I explained.

"It's those twin carburetors," Garth replied. "They are a bugger to keep
accurately tuned, the slightest thing and they don't work properly. Bring it
round Sunday afternoon and I'll take another look."

Garth lived with his mother, he had inherited his mechanical prowess from
his late father and had also inherited his dad's workshop which was housed
in a double garage and extension. He had every kind of tool and item of
machinery you could think of, all of which were like an artist's brush in
Garth's hands. God knows why he was wasting his time working in a small
engineering factory, he could have been maintaining the space shuttle for
NASA. While my friend busied himself under the bonnet of my car I ambled
aimlessly about the workshop admiring such a vast array of equipment. I had
been here before and it was all familiar even if I did not have a clue what
half of it was used for. But that day there was something new and I couldn't
guess what it was for.

To be exact there were two of them, standing side by side and identical in
every way. What ever were these mysterious new machines in Garth's workshop
? Two bright chromium plated bars, very solid and thick, rose parallel from
a heavy base plate. Constructed in such a way that it could be moved up and
down between these bars was a small black box of machinery. Mounted below
this was a small cylinder. The controls were simple, just three round
buttons: one red - one green - one orange. My fingers hovered over them and
I wondered if I dare press any.

"You should find that better now," Garth emerged from the car's engine
wiping his hands on a rag. "But you'd be better getting something different,
twin carbs are a bastard."

"Thanks," I said, "I'll start saving." It had taken a large portion of the
money I had put aside each week since starting work to buy this car and
Garth was telling me to get rid of it. Still I respected his knowledge and
advice. "What are these ?" I asked indicating the two machined. "I've not
seen them here before."

My friend smiled. "Guess ?"

"I don't have a clue."

"It's my invention, I'm going to sell them on e-bay."

"Very nice but what do they do ?"

"They're wanking machines," he giggled.

"Yeah, yeah ! What are they really ?"

"Wanking machines," Garth confirmed. "Look..... Your dick goes in here," he
pointed to the cylinder beneath the box construction. The cylinder was no
more than two and a half inches long and perhaps two inches wide. I don't
know how the symmetry of my friend's dick worked out but the cylinder was
far too wide and nowhere near long enough.

Garth poked his index finger inside. "When the machine is turned on," he
said, "a latex sleeve inside inflates with air to hold the dick firm. A
randomly varying pressure caresses it while the whole thing moves backwards
and forwards. A microchip changes the rhythm and combined with the variable
air pressure on the sleeve there is an infinite variety of stimulation."

He wasn't joking, it was a wanking machine and Garth was proud of his
invention. I was reminded of a schoolboy lymeric:

There was a young man from Cheam,
Who invented a wanking machine.
On the ninety-ninth stroke -
the bloody thing broke,
And whipped his balls to cream !

"How much do you think I'll get for them on e-bay ?"

"You can't sell a wanking machine on e-bay," I said, "they'd never allow
it."

Garth looked a little disappointed but lost none of his vocal enthusiasm for
his creation. "I was hoping for £500 for each machine, surely they are worth
that much."

I appreciated Garth's knowledge and ability but of all the things to invent
! It hardly had a mass market. Or did it ?

"The controls are ever so simple," he continued to extol. "A start button,
an emergency stop button and when you are ready to cum you hold down the
orange button. That sends the machine into a slower mode, when you have cum
you release the button and everything stops."

"You've tried it ?"

"Oh yeah, loads of times."

"How much did it cost to make ?" I enquired.

"The parts worked out at £90," Garth replied, "so if I sold a machine at
£500 there would be a good profit."

"And how long did it take you to make it ?"

"That's why there are two machines," Garth tapped the side of his nose with
his forefinger. "The first took me an age as I had to keep changing things
until it was exactly right. I timed myself for the second and it took twelve
hours."

I thought to myself, so if time were costed at £8 an hour he would still
show more than £300 on a £500 sale. My business studies lecturer at college
would have said the margins were right or the figures stood up. But could my
friend really sell a wanking machine ?

"It gives you an amazing wank," Garth said, "well worth £500."

A picture flashed into my mind of Garth plugged into the machine. All I
could say was, "Bloody hell !"

Garth laughed.

"But I still don't think e-bay is the place to be selling them."

Garth's face changed from amusement to a look of comprehension. "I was
hoping to sell loads of them, to go into mass production."

"I'm sure you could, probably more than you could produce but not via
e-bay."

"Then where ?"
"You need to give the same attention to marketing, sales and promotion as
you have to the production," I said thinking through the possibilities of my
friend's invention.

"But that's not my thing. What would you suggest ?"

"Me ? I don't know."

"You're the businessman, I'm just a technical guy."

A technical guy who's just invented the world's first wanking machine, I
thought to myself. Yes, there were possibilities, good and even great
possibilities.

"We could form a partnership," Garth suggested. "I'll look after manufacture
and you take care of sales."

"How many are you planning to produce ?"

"As many as I can," he enthused. "If I restructure how I make the units,
working on a factory line production with perhaps five or ten on the go at
once I could probably get the overall production time down to eight hours
per unit."

"But that's still eighty hours for ten machines, even if you spent three
hours an evening working you could only make a couple a week."
"I've decided to give up my job," Garth declared. "I hate it anyway and I've
been thinking for ages about running a car repair business from home so if
the wanking machines don't take of I can always fall back on that."

I hated my job as well but wasn't prepared to jack it in to market some hair
brained invention Garth had come up with. "Tell you what I'll do, I will
spend tonight drawing up a proper business plan then if it all looks viable
I'll come back tomorrow and we can talk."

Garth beamed. "So you would work with me ? Be partners ?"

I nodded. "Providing the business plan works out good."

Garth thrust out is hand. "Deal !"

"Deal," I replied.

"And after we've discussed the details tomorrow we can try out the
machines."

I pulled back my hand but Garth was gripping it tightly.
"Deal," he said again. "And if you're shy I promise I won't watch !"

I was up most of the night working on a plan to market Garth's wanking
machines. I searched the Internet for information and applied everything I
had learned at college to drawing up a proper business proposal. First of
all we would need to form a limited liability company with Garth and myself
as shareholders and directors. It would be better it it were an off-shore
company registered in somewhere like the British Virgin Islands. We needed a
name that implied something different to our actual product but on the other
hand easily related to it. G & N Sports Equipment Limited, that would do.
There were company formation agents who would set everything up and organise
banking, we'd need a merchant account so we could take payments by
Mastercard, Visa and American Express. These agents charged a fee but it
would be money well spent.

I hadn't asked Garth how heavy the machines were although he had said they
dismantled and fitted into a single box. If we initially concentrated on
London and South-East England we could deliver the machines ourselves.
Deliver, install and.... I hesitated....demonstrate ! Fuck, what was I
thinking ? My heart pounded in my chest but the idea launched me into my
next train of thought.

The gay market would be the most likely area for success. I was sure we
could sell as many machines to gay guys as we could produce. But how to
advertise, how to market to our customers ? Easy ! Sell the machines direct
from our own website, take out small ads in the London based gay press and
direct people from there to the website.
My head was bursting, spinning frantically with new ideas bombarding my
brain every few seconds. As I fought to bring each one down to earth and set
it into the business plan I knew we had the basis for a very successful
enterprise. I worked out how much money I could scrape together to invest,
if Garth could match it we would have enough. I would take the two weeks
annual leave I still had due to me and use the time to launch the company. I
set myself a modest sales target for s two weeks after which, if the target
was met, I would hand in my notice at work and join Garth full time. No
matter how many times I checked the figures, no matter how pessimistic I
tried to be, everything stacked up. We were going to be millionaires !
It was dawn by the time I finished at the computer and made ready for bed. I
had decided I would phone in sick the next day and skip work. I sent Garth a
text message suggesting he do the same and explaining I would call round to
his house sometime during the morning. Like me he wasn't asleep, he texted
back within minutes to say that was fine.

I did get some sleep but it was very fitful and I can not tell you what were
dreams and what were my conscious thoughts evolving from the business plan I
had just written. Throughout all there were two recurring themes; the first
that we were indeed going to make a fortune, the second that when I met up
with Garth I was going to have to test the machine !

The dreamlike contemplation of the forthcoming test was confusing. I was shy
about exposing myself in front of Garth and yet at the same time the idea
was erotic. There had been nothing sexual about drawing up the business plan
but as I lay drifting in and out of sleep my cock remained a solid rod
between my legs. There was nothing unusual about waking in the morning with
a stiffy, it happens most days and it is normal for me to commence the day
with a good wank. I also tend to end the day in a similar way but that
previous night I had my mind on other things. Reaching to take my cock in my
right hand and jerk off its double stiffness I checked myself. Better not, I
didn't want a limp dick later in the morning when it came to testing Garth's
machine !

My employer wasn't at all happy when I phoned in to explain that I was too
ill to work. He didn't believe me and his tone of voice was overflowing with
displeasure. Sod him, I decided there and then that I would not be going
back. I was going to become a millionaire selling wanking machines with my
good friend Garth.

Our mutual enthusiasm infected one another as I went through the various
aspects of my business plan. Garth asked a few questions and we made some
revisions which added to the strength of the plan. I was eager to reveal all
of my ideas in the finest detail but as I spoke I could not help but centre
part of my mind on the physical revelation that was drawing ever closer. And
then the moment was upon me.

"Fucking brilliant !" Garth beamed. "You've left nothing out. Perfect !"

"Thank you."

"No, thank you."

I smiled.

"So are you ready ?"

I nodded but wasn't ready although I would go through with it. It was a
small price to pay for the fortune Garth's invention would make for us both.
The two machines stood side by side, from each a white length of cable
reached out to a socket in the wall.

"Have you locked the door ?" I asked.

"Why ?"

"Well we don't want anyone coming in and seeing us."

"There's only my mother at home and she never comes in here but if you like
I'll lock us in. You take the machine on left and I'll take the right."

I stood a few feet away from my machine and wondered what next ?

Garth lifted his shirt over his head and cast it aside. I copied.

"You have locked the door ?"

"Don't worry."

Next my friend kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his jeans. I followed
the example.

"Keep your socks on, the base of the machine can be cold. That's something I
perhaps need to modify."

Inside my pants my dick was hard and twitching. This really was horny, after
all my earlier apprehension I was going to enjoy it.

"Know what to do ?"

I nodded. He had locked the door hadn't he ?

"Ready ?"

"Go for it," I confirmed.

Off came the pants and my dick sprang upright and free. I cast an eye to
Garth, god he was big and how low his balls hung ! I watched him deftly
maneuver his cock to line up with the open cylinder then shuffle forwards as
he slid inside. I did the same.

"You know how the controls work ?"

"Sure."

There was a hum as Garth's machine came to life. I pressed the green button
and a similar sound was produced by the air compressor on my machine as it
inflated the latex sleeve. It closed tightly round my dick gripping ever
harder like the blood pressure collar the doctor wraps round your arm. I
felt slight fear then it released to hold me in a firm but comfortable grip.
I sensed a minute change in the pressure first releasing then increasing to
tantalise the shaft where it was held. My pubic front was not hard against
the cylinder and my dick protruded out the other end. What next ?

The machine appeared to comprehend my thoughts. I heard the sound of an
electric motor purr into life. The sound was accompanied by the machine
effecting two long, slow stroked on my dick. My body shivered with
excitement and I glanced at Garth, nakedly plugged into the machine by my
side. He smiled and winked an eye.
The machine continued its long slow stroked but now at the end of each added
a quick short jerk before starting the next long slow stroke. I tried to see
if the machine to which Garth was attached was following the same cycle but
it was not easy to tell. My cock was already harder than any normal erection
but as I regarded my friend's naked body it was encouraged to even greater
efforts. In response the machine moved to a higher speed while inside the
cylinder the air pressure holding the latex sleeve against me began to
ripple. The whole effect was quite incredible, like nothing I had ever
experienced. Using a hand to wank one's cock could never emulate this
fantastic machine Garth had invented. My head rolled back, I closed my eyes
and let out a deep sigh of bliss.

>From somewhere in another world I heard Garth say, "Good isn't it ?"

I did not reply.

My balls began to pull tighter to my body and an explosive feeling within
them started to creep upwards. I knew I did not have long, not long before I
would need to press the orange button, hold it and enjoy the climax of this
particular experience. My fingers slid towards it and my thumb rested
momentarily before pressing to change the machine.
The response was instantaneous as I was brought to the point of fulfillment.
I continued to hold the orange button down as the last drop of pleasure was
extracted from me. I was exhausted, sweat dripping from me as if I had just
run a marathon in record time.

Slowly I returned from my dreamlike trance to emerge back into reality. I
opened my eyes to look at Garth when a voice entered my world. It was not my
friend, it was his mother.

"Garth I've just made some coffee and I thought you and Nigel may like a
cup. What are you two boys doing ?"

"Shit !"

Well I hope you enjoyed my little tale - do let me know:
takemypantsoff@hotmail.co.uk Nigel