Date: Wed, 8 Nov 2000 14:54:54 EST
From: VicHowel@aol.com
Subject: Growing Up Sexual - chapter XXXVIII

Growing Up Sexual

Gloria in excelsio deo!!!!!!!  Dave MacMillan Presents has finally been
approved by the bank - and it only took a month and a half.  What we won't
put up with to work with gay businesses!  SO ... Presumably the card
company shall have made the necessary connections so that the secure cyber
gate is operational by this weekend - AND my web designer shall have put up
all the niggly changes I kept finding on the site.  Yes, Virginia, there IS
a Santa Claus!!!!

I'd like to do something here that I've not done before.  I'd like to thank
some of Nifty's authors for very good reads and, at the same time, commend
them to you.

Firstly, there are a number of good writers appearing amongst Nifty's
folders.  The following are just a few of them.  Then, too, I'm very
vanilla in my orientation - so what appeals to me is (usually) going to go
in that direction.  And, finally, I'm a writer and this means that
character- and plot-development appeal to me more than it does many.  Just
because I'm not including a particular writer or story in the following,
does NOT mean that the writing isn't good.  It just means that it didn't
catch my attention and continue to hold it as well as these writers do and
have.

Okay, the disclaimers out of the way <G> ...

Let me say that James Truett manages to capture the perfect mix of
innocence and lust that is common to young teens.  His stories include
Visit To The Woods, Sucking William's Cock, and (Feb) The Kid in High
School and The Balloons in Young Friends.  This mix of innocence and lust
appears in all of his stories and pulls me into them sooooo easily.

Josh Aterovis has a phenomenonal story going in College with Reap The
Whirlwind.  There's nothing erotic, but the guy has me hooked on his story.
An equally phenomenonal story (and nearly equally non-erotic) is Driver's
The Quarry in High School.  These stories deserve a look-see.

As I said, I'm vanilla - probably in the extreme - but Jack Rowan's Story
Of Tim in Adult Youth is so well drawn - character-wise and plot-wise
... The story just flows, even if its emphasis IS bondage and domination.

Erotic series this year that I've found strong in character- and
plot-development and just damn good to read are BW's Boy For Hire in Adult
Youth, New To This State by Ardveche in High School, Rand's Prairie Songs
(in High School), Willy B's Mile High (High School) and Flack Bait
(Historical), Rimshot's Truth About Cayman in High School, and Jamie
Scott's Laird's Son in High School (Jamie, I hope you return soon to finish
your story).

A well-done to each of the writers above for their stories and the pleasure
I've had in reading them.  A well-done to the other writers whom I've not
mentioned as well.  It takes a lot to hide yourself away from everybody and
pour your innermost thoughts out on paper.  Thank all of you for giving all
of us some very good reading.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Chapter XXXVIII


"We've got to do something about Richard," Billy Lee mumbled against my
chest after I'd pulled out of him.  His fingers moved over my belly to my
pubes.  I was soft and there was no way anything was going to get me up
again - not for a long while.  I'd just fucked three times since we'd gone
to bed.  My dick was dead and wasn't about to think about resurrection any
time soon.

"What do you mean?"  I was trying to figure out how this boy could take so
much dick in one day and still want more.  He'd had both of the Weeks twins
several times in the afternoon and evening just past - along with me.
Sucking and fucking.  I was tuckered out and his fingers playing with my
dick said he still was up for more.

"He just hasn't been himself this past month.  Not since he started going
over to Clem's."

"He may have just decided that he wasn't going to do your butt any more."
I snorted.  "Not many of us are as queer as you and me, buddy."

"Yeah, but-"

"Remember it was your brother who set up that Thanksgiving party where most
of the boys in town got a piece of Glenda Faye Woods' snatch.  He was
already weening himself off of boy ass even back then."

"Vic, it's more than him just don't diddling me any more."  I felt his face
move over my chest so that he was looking up at me in the darkness.  "We
don't do anything any more.  Nothing.  And we've always done everything
together - most things anyway."

I knew that was true.  Wherever one of the Lee boys was, the other was
always nearby.  After Richard got me from behind that first time, it was
always the two of them.  Sex and non-sex both.  If I did anything with one
of them, I did it with both of them.  I knew that Billy had got my
interest.

"And you say this only started about a month ago - after he went over to
Clem's that first time?"  He nodded against my chest.  "And he goes over to
Clem's every day now?" I asked and wondered about it.  Billy nodded
against, the hair on the top of his head brushing against my chin.

Clem Stokes was plain boring.  He was really fat.  He was also ugly.  He
was gross, but, most important, the boy was about the most boring person in
9th grade.  There was absolutely nothing interesting about him.  He read
all the time and still didn't do all that well in school.  In the 9 years
we'd all been going to school together, it was almost as if he never was
there.  He just didn't exist.  He was a wallflower who didn't even bloom.
I couldn't see why Richard had all of a sudden got interested in him.

"What do they have in common?" I asked, trying to find a link through the
fog that was oozing into my brain.  I was a lot tired than I'd thought.
Billy and the Weeks twins had worn me out.

"Nothing, Vic.  Clem's our cousin all right.  We even used to play together
when we were little kids.  At least, he hung out with us and we included
him.  Most of the time, it was mom who sorta made us do that.  Clem was
like some old rock even back then - he'd just stand there and do nothing."

"And he hasn't changed at all?"  Billy shook his head.  "Your mom didn't
put some pressure on either of you to include him again?"

"Nothing.  This just came out of a clear blue sky.  One day, I meet Richard
outside the school to walk home with, and he tells me he's going to go home
with Clem.  His little brother was there with him.  The three of them -
Richard, Clem, and Cary-"

"Cary?"  I tried to remember Clem's brother.

"He's just started middle school this year.  Skinny kid, pretty good
looking."  Billy's fingers were still playing with my dick, but he didn't
seem to be as interested as before.  Maybe he realized that he'd worn the
life out of it.  "I hear he's a real loner too - like Clem.  They're both
real weird."

"So, why is he hanging around with Clem and ignoring you?" I mumbled,
trying to make Billy's problem come into focus.

"He's not just ignoring me," he groaned.  "He's ignoring everybody we used
to hang with.  He goes over to Clem's for an hour after school and, when he
comes home, he just goes to our room and shuts himself up in it.  He's
becoming just as much of a loner as Clem is."

I pursed my lips but I didn't really want to think about Richard Lee and
whatever he was doing.  I'd had a long day and my butt and dick were a good
kind of sore.  I was tired.  "Tell you what, Billy.  We'll follow them
Monday after school and spy on them.  That way, we can find out what's
eating on Richard.  We ought to be able to figure out how to get his head
screwed back on right."

"That sounds like a plan," he mumbled, his hand covering my soft dick but
no longer playing with it.  He snuggled closer and immediately his
breathing began to slow and become deeper.  I wasn't far behind him.

* * *

Ronnie Varnadore studied at himself in the full-length mirror on the back
of his closet door.  He felt foolish as all get-out doing this.  Getting up
this early was dumb and going to church was even dumber, especially that
holyroller church.  He was going to feel like a complete fool if he saw
either of his parents on his way to the car.  And he still couldn't figure
out why he was so hell-bent on doing this.

The message on the marquee again played through his mind: through God, all
things are possible.  He didn't believe it.  But he couldn't stop wondering
if - just maybe - the message was true.

He didn't want to be queer.  He didn't want every boy in Soul GA knowing
that he sucked dick and took it up his ass.  He'd even tried to break
himself of wanting it.  He'd gone almost a week without before he wore both
Clyde and Julian out getting his fill.

If God didn't want him going down on dick, He shouldn't have made it
available to him.  Or he ought to be able to resist the temptation.

He didn't believe going to the Church of the Everlasting Arms of God was
going to do anything to make him normal. So, why was he going?  Why was he
wearing his suit, tying his shoes, and trying to look good for a building
full of holyrollers?  The dumbest, lowest classed people in Soul?

What if he could save himself through God?  What if he could stop being a
queer?  What if those people at that church were right?

His thoughts bounced from hope to resistance back to hope again as he drove
to the church and forced himself to get out of his car.

People greeted him as he walked up to the church.  Grown-ups and a few kids
his own age - they all seemed to know him from football.  They all treated
him like he was an old-time friend.  Ronnie couldn't believe it, but the
reception he was getting relaxed him.  Passing into the building, he felt
good about his decision to come to the revival.  Everybody was his friend.
Nobody wanted to hurt him here.  He couldn't see where the people here were
any different than anybody else he knew.  And none of them wanted anything
of him - they just were glad to see him.  Ronnie Varnadore relaxed as he
started to make his way up the aisle.

"Would you sit by me?" a voice asked, moving in to walk beside him.  He
nodded even as he turned to see who it was.  "You don't know who I am, do
you, Ronnie?"

"You're at school," he answered defensively. "In my class-" He recognized
her but couldn't place her name.

She smiled up at him.  "I'm Betty Sue Bembry."

She was plain.  Not one of the guys on the team would look at her twice.
He wouldn't have either.  Not any place but here.

In the small church, however, there was an inner strength to her that he
could feel.  It was a strength that gave her a strange kind of beauty that
he couldn't explain.  He felt comfortable with her instantly, like he did
when he was with his mother.

"Welcome to our church, Ronnie," she offered and smiled.  "We're all glad
you decided to join us."

He smiled back and thanked her.  She led him to the front of the church.
The preacher arrived at the pulpit before they could start talking
seriously, and the congregation was standing and opening hymnals.  People
began to sing "Standing On The Promises", and Ronnie Varnadore forced his
voice into the cadences around him.

The visiting preacher stepped slowly to the podium as the congregation sang
the last stanza of the spiritual.  Ronnie thought he looked like he was
lost in thought.  Even though that didn't seem like the kind of preparation
for the hellfire and brimstone he was expecting to hear, his defenses began
to build.

The preacher started off slowly and Ronnie was sure that his eyes kept
coming back to him, singling him out and studying him. "Jesus is here with
us today," the man began.  All around Ronnie, people said amen before the
man could continue.

"Do you know how you can He's here, brothers and sisters?" the man asked,
his voice soft and warm, but carrying to the furthest point in the church.
"You recognize His presence inside you ... Can you feel that little nubbin
of doubt there in you?"

People were nodding all around Ronnie.  He realized he was nodding too.
There was doubt there.

"That's you backing away from Jesus.  That's you recognizing just how pure
He is - and how dirty and defiled you are.  That's your way of saying that
you're ashamed of yourself in His presence.  That's Satan's defense against
the goodness that Jesus is bringing."

He smiled at everyone in the church.  He nodded like he was lost in thought
again.  And looked directly at Ronnie Varnadore.  "God gave us free will,
brothers and sisters.  He left it up to us how we were going to live our
lives.  We decide to become dirty or become pure.  God sent his only Son to
help us if we decide to be pure, to make it easy for us to break away from
the hole Satan so easily gains in our lives.  But we've got to decide...

"We've got to decide whether we're too embarrassed to accept Jesus' help or
not. You feel your resistance, Satan's resistance.  You want to get away
from the truth.  And, deep down in you, you know you've got to reach out
and accept Jesus' help.

"That's how you know when Jesus is with you, brothers and sisters."

The preacher continued, his voice rising, and Ronnie followed with him -
caught up in the spirit the man had unleashed.  He shoved his doubts aside.
He knew Jesus was there offering to help him.  He could be normal.  His
body and his mind resisted.  But his soul pushed him out from behind his
defenses.  He opened himself up to Christ Jesus.

He shouted amen with the rest of the congregation.

Betty Sue Bembry held his arm as he cried.  She helped him slide to the
floor as his legs began to jerk and the first shout tore from his throat as
the spirit moved over him.  She was wiping the sweat and spittle from his
face when his spirit returned to the confinement of his body.

Ronnie Varnadore was baptized that afternoon.  He was the first person
saved in the revival at the Church of the Everlasting Arms of God.  Jesus
was his sword and shield now.