Date: Sat, 6 May 2000 22:19:07 -0700 (PDT) From: The Alienist <alienist_hk@yahoo.com> Subject: "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 08 "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 08 By Alienist_hk@Yahoo.com Disclaimer: This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys. All the usual rules apply. If you shouldn't be reading this story, then please don't. Or you might go blind or something. Copyright Notice: This story is copyrighted April 2000 by the author, who retains all rights. You may distribute or copy this story as you like, PROVIDED that this copyright notice and author credit remains intact, and that the story is not changed in any way. You may not charge any fees for distribution or access to this story. After all, I didn't charge you, did I? This part of the story is dedicated to Khun Natayada Na Songkla, Ph.D. Thank you, Nat, for showing me what it's like to understand Thai people from an American viewpoint. And for helping keep me and Chaat together as long as we have been. Even if your mother weren't a real-life Princess, you would still be a Prince among men! Note: All Thai words and phrases have been spelled so that readers may pronounce them correctly. Please note that I am an American listener of Thai, as well! Other transliteration methods may vary. Another Note: This story will be submitted to Teen Boy Authors on their website called "Authors Without Websites (AWW)" one week PRIOR to submittal to Nifty. See some other wonderful stories there also, at: http://www.teenboyauthors.org/aww/index/asp. ______________________________________________________________________________ "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 08 James really had to pee. And he had a raging hard-on. His dick was wedged in his jockey shorts at a really awkward angle, too. It hurt like hell, throbbing as it was with both engorged blood and the backed up bladder. Here he was, hugging a beautiful Thai boy he hadn't even known a few hours before. They lay sleeping entwined in each other's arms on his bed. James had been awakened from a sound sleep by his Mom returning home from work a few minutes ago. He'd invited her into his room to ask about Sakjai's fainting spell (well, Mom was a nurse, right?). But as befuddled as he'd been by sleep, he'd forgotten how strange looking he'd be to Ali, all tangled up in bed with another boy she'd never seen or heard of before. Thank God she was a pretty good Mom, and knew the rules of entry into boys' rooms. She'd backed off when James had asked her to trust him, and she'd stopped asking embarrassing questions. At least for now. (But if I know Mom, she's thinkin pretty hard out there in the kitchen...) James thought as he wriggled his hips slightly. (Jeez, I gotta adjust this hard-on, it's killin me here... ooussshhh... gotta pee soooo bad...) As far as he could tell, Sakjai slept blissfully unaware of everything. He'd snoozed through the brief conversation with Mom, thank God. The Thai boy's breathing remained strong, deep, and regular against James's neck as James pondered his dilemma quietly yet furiously. (He's a pretty deep sleeper...maybe I can go take a piss real quick and come right back, and he won't even know...) That was worth a try... James considered his physical position as carefully as he could, considering that he wished he could cross his legs so he didn't piss himself. (Ugh, maybe untangle my legs. But which one first...) He tried wiggling the toes on each of his feet. (Huh! Which one's which, anyhow? OK, it's like that kids' game when you have your fingers all twisted together and try to wiggle the finger that the other kids pointed to, without confusing yourself, and moving another one instead. My left leg is under me. Seems to be under Sakjai, too... Hmm.right leg...ohh, good, that's on top. How did I throw my leg over both of us and we didn't wake up? This is really weird.but...I like it! Whsss... Oh, pee, pee, gotta pee...) James took a deep breath, as one does when trying to hold one's bladder at bay. Clenching all his muscles might help him control that bladder muscle, too. He carefully lifted his leg from Sakjai's lower body. The place where his jean leg had been pressed to Sakjai was suddenly cooler. He lowered that leg carefully behind him, on the edge of the bed between himself and Sakjai's body next to him. He was facing Sakjai and the wall, away from the room, but he needed to get the rest of his body off the bed too, even though he didn't really want to. (OK, what do I do now? Try to untangle the other leg from underneath down there, or attempt to free my arm from under his head and shoulder?) James tried to move the fingers of his arm, but realized there was no feeling at all in it. (Totally paralyzed, that's just great...not even the tingles and club-like feeling when your arm's gone to sleep and is waking up....) That leaves the leg to get control of first. (Jeez, I don't wanna wake him up...) Then there was another spasm from his hard-on, reminding him of the urgent need to urinate. NOW. Nature's calling, and ya can't ignore that call... And his erection seemed to be bent just about in half down there in his jockeys. Without thinking anything more about it, James started using his other hand (which had been holding Sakjai's sleeping form against his own) to reach down between himself and the Thai youth. There was a bit of space there, now that his other leg was propping itself behind him like this. As he slid his hand down from his abdomen to his crotch, James suddenly realized that the back of his hand was rubbing downward on Sakjai's body as well. He'd felt the flat tummy and the roughness of the belt around his waist, and was now aware that he was feeling the top of the zipper fly of the boy's pants. He froze. (Oh shit, I prolly look like I'm trying to feel him up or something...) But James really needed to adjust his boner, so he kept his hand headed southward, slowly insinuating itself between their two bodies. As the front of his hand found his own erection, the back of his hand rubbed against something inside Sakjai's blue khaki's. He'd been hoping for this, if he was totally honest about it. It was tube-shaped...He pushed against the shrouded contents of Sakjai's pants a little harder. (Oooh, God...) Of course, James told himself that the main objective was still to do something about his hard-on before he fractured himself. But as James tried manfully to free his hard dick from the confines of his jammed Jockeys, he couldn't help being ultra-sensitive to the fact that he was pushing and rubbing against Sakjai's package at the same time. (Wonder what the word for `dick' is in Thai... He doesn't feel hard, like me...At least I don't think so...How can ya tell, I wonder?) James was finally able to pry his hard-on from it's trap, and it squeezed deliciously upward against his belly under his undies. (Oh God, What a relief.) But it got harder, if that was possible, and continued to throb just as urgently as before. He had to take a leak so bad, and it also felt like he was about to cum at the same time. (Is it possible to cum when ya gotta piss so badly? Is it possible to take a leak when you're about to have an orgasm? I've never had to think about any of this.Talk about yer good with yer bad! And they'd both be pretty messy afterward, too. Shit!) Less than 5 minutes had passed since James had begun to wake up. But it felt like about 3 hours. He realized that he had never wanted to stay someplace as much as he wanted to remain in bed with Sakjai, while at the same time he'd never had to empty his bladder this badly either. James tried to pinch off the base of his dick, attempting to get the pee to retreat from the edge of his control. But he also noticed that he was arching his palm so that the back of his hand was still pressing against that lump in Sakjai's crotch. He'd never felt another boy there before, as often as he'd imagined it. It felt like an amazing mystery was being revealed to him. The genitals rolled around loosely under his touch. It felt fantastic to be feeling this part of another boy's anatomy. He'd seen some in gym showers and on church CYO youth group retreats, for sure. He'd tried to study as many as he possibly could, and his memory was photographic. He could replay a shower scene in his head completely accurately. He could even freeze the frame of his memory, and fast forward or slow motion or zoom in close on a particular detail as if it was a video movie he was controlling. He was a truly obsessed observer of other boy's bodies! But he'd never actually touched or caressed another crotch than his own. He felt as if this was one of the most important moments in his life, and he'd be totally enraptured except for that one bodily function that needed attention. Trying to ignore that for another moment, James thought that this was definate! He could actually feel the outline of Sakjai's penis as it lay in his underwear, and also thought he could feel the ball sac moving around down there too. The Thai boy seemed to be wearing briefs and not boxers, but James wasn't sure about any other details of what was under the thin layers of clothing. He was especially unsure, since he couldn't use his fingers. Just the backside of his palm. His hand wasn't pointed in the right direction! The Thai boy was sleeping, but this didn't make the activity seem any less intimate. James had never felt so connected to anybody before. Of course, he'd never BEEN so physically close to anybody! It felt like he almost had permission to be doing what he was doing... It was almost like they were doing something together, even though they weren't, other than sleeping together, that is. Then James noticed that Sakjai had just moved! He'd bucked his hips just a little, pressing his own crotch more firmly into the back of James's hand. As he pushed, Sakjai seemed to be grinding his dick into James's hand. Just a little, and probably not consciously. At the same time, Sakjai hugged James tighter to his body. God, that felt wonderful to James... Then James realized what might be happening! Guilt seemed to pour into James's awareness like thick hot mud from some volcanic hot springs. His hand shooting like a rocket from between their bodies, James realized at that moment that he did NOT have permission to feel Sakjai up like he had just been doing. Even if Sakjai had responded positively to the touch, it wasn't deliberate, James was pretty sure of that. (Well), James thought to himself, (I sure as shit couldn't get turned on like this and not even twitch my eyes or breathe any different if I was awake while somebody was doing this to me. I'd have to be dead to act this quiet...) He had felt sooo guilty so immediately! But it wasn't like the endless guilt he had usually felt over more inconsequential sins that he obsessed about before this. He was a good Catholic after all, just like his parents. They went to mass every Sunday and he and his sister had gone to CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) in the afternoons. Of course he tried to get out of going, but the `rents usually insisted. And a good Catholic can feel guilt even without sex! It's all those years of training, as his father Paul was fond of joking with the family sometimes. He really felt badly about invading Sakjai's physical space like some creep in a movie. He hadn't been caught by anybody (at least he didn't think so.) And it wasn't that frustrated guilt about wanting to do something that you knew was wrong, either. This was something completely new to James. He really wanted to be good to Sakjai. He didn't want to be doing anything to his amazing new friend that he'd have to regret later on. He wanted this new friendship to be pure, untainted by his usual negative thinking and fears. He felt too strongly for the Thai boy to ever want to do anything to hurt him or weird him out. Now that was strange to think about. James always assumed that he'd leap at the chance to cop a feel from some cute guy if he could possibly get away with it. But here he was, nobody would probably ever be the wiser, and he didn't want to cause offense to somebody he cared a lot about. He hadn't thought about the possibility of developing a conscience about something like this, but he had! Pee, as in to piss, to urinate, to let the waters flow... Soon please God, or else I'm gonna wet myself right here in the bed...Not the right impression to make the first night with Sakjai... (The first night...? What do I mean by that thought...?) A small groan escaped his lips quietly, as James used his now guilt-free hand to hold against the sleeping youth's body as he gently pulled, pried, and coaxed his other two limbs from underneath Sakjai's limp, but heavy, body. (God, now I know what they mean by "dead weight...") He found himself coming loose slowly, gradually, cautiously... OK, his lower half was free of confinement. Sakjai fell slowly more onto his back, away from his previous close embrace. James hoped he could duck out real quick and then return, maybe slide himself right back underneath the sleeping beauty without anyone being the wiser! James used the partial leverage of his new vantage point to continue removing his arm from between Sakjai's shoulder and the pillow. His arm was almost free...yes, he was going to be able to do this...his hand was almost extricated, his fingers cupping Sakjai's ear between it and the bedsheet underneath... But it must have tickled, because Sakjai drew in a deep breath and stirred himself. One of his arms was still draped over James as the American boy attempted to right himself. That hand moved languidly over James's torso, seeming to slowly explore the form he was sleeping next to. It was as if he was reminding himself where he was, while he was still more than half in dreamland. Then he turned toward James again, trying to entwine his legs once more with James's jeans-clad limbs. He whimpered a little, in protest of James removing himself even that little way apart from him. James felt himself pulled back down into Sakjai's embrace, as if by a powerful magnet. God, he wanted to just fall back into those arms, he really did. But Mother Nature was now yelling at him even more loudly. So James continued to pry himself loose, and resisted Sakjai's still-sleepy attempts at continued contact. As James's hand came free of Sakjai's head, the Thai boy's eyes opened. And he frowned. "Bpy nai?" He murmured. Obviously he meant where are you going, James thought. "I really gotta pee... I mean, I'm just goin to the hong nahm, OK, Sakjai? I really gotta go NOW, sorry...but..." "Mmmm-mmm, mai bpy..." "I gotta go, really, OK? I'll come right back, I promise, I'll come back really really fast, but I gotta go..." "Mai, la krap!" The Thai boy was more awake than he had been, and alarmed that he was being abandoned in the darkness of the unfamiliar room. "NO! Cannot!" The Thai boy was now awake enough to use English. He sounded worried, not angry. "Ok, ok, it'll be ok, I promise. I'll come right back, and the hong nahm is right next to this room, remember? You'll prolly be able to hear me in there. OK, Sakjai? What can I do to make it all right for just one minute, huh? It'll be just one minute, really, for sure..." "Kiss me. And come back quickly..." "Wha..." James started to ask a genuinely puzzled question, but Sakjai pulled him down and nuzzled his cheek. The Thai youth seemed to inhale a deep whiff of James, his nose mashed into James's cheek. Then James found himself released, and Sakjai sank back onto the bed without further protest. "Joop dee, mach...!" ["Nice kiss..."] he muttered to himself with a sleepy but satisfied smile on his face. James realized he'd just been sort of kissed, and Sakjai hadn't even kept his eyes open to see if there'd been a reaction. But James did react! Automatically, he leaned over and kissed Sakjai on the lips. It was more than a peck, but it wasn't passionate in a sexual way. It was just a firm and loving kiss, meant to be re-assuring. Sakjai responded with a muted, "Mmmm..." as James crawled completely out of the bed and, crouching against that water pressure, opened the bedroom door. Leaving it ajar, he scurried crab-like into the bathroom next door, gripping his dick in both hands like a finger in the dyke. He nudged the door closed only halfway behind him, although that felt a little strange. He always closed and locked bathroom doors. He usually even went so far as turning on the water tap so that his family couldn't hear him urinate behind the closed door. But on this occasion, James abandoned all shyness and self-consciousness. He wanted the Thai youth to be able to hear him. Sakjai was semi- sleeping once more, but he was re-assured down deep in his bones by the domestic noises of a boy pissing into a toilet. Sakjai realized that he wasn't alone, as he listened sub-consciously. The flow cascaded like Niagara Falls, flooding into the toilet bowl, on and on... James found his body relaxing its grip on itself, slowly and luxuriously. He was kind of surprised that he'd been able to pee at all, what with the hard-on. He'd had to unbuckle his belt and yank the fly at the same time, pulling his jockeys down and away from his genitals completely. His rock-hard dick pointed straight at the ceiling as it slapped his belly. James was in such a state that he wondered if he would wet the front of himself like some water fountain run amok. He concentrated on making sure his dick was pointed toward the toilet, pushing his hard-on downward and standing on tip-toe while trying to allow the flow to start at the same time. Usually, when things weren't so urgent, he just fished his dick out of his unzipped pants, but this time he'd been way too much in a hurry for that! As James relaxed into the tail end of the longest piss of his life so far, he found his mind on one thing...that kiss thing that Sakjai had given him. Kind of a sniff-kiss. It was unexpected and disconcerting. But he'd loved it, and returned it as well. He'd just kissed the boy he'd been sleeping with. Shit! He'd kissed his first boy, and fled the room to piss! That wasn't anything like the way he'd imagined The First Kiss. All the possible scenarios that had played themselves so endlessly in his imagination for a couple of years now, all thwarted by the need to take a leak... (Did Sakjai realize that he'd just kissed me? Was it even really a kiss? Maybe it was some Thai thing, totally NOT a kiss? Did he remember that I just kissed him...?) It had seemed so natural, so innocent. It was almost like a parent kissing a baby, re-assuring the infant that he was going to be alright while the parent was gone. It had seemed so normal, not a sexual thing at all! Well, at least not sexual at the time... (Jeez, and I was just feeling him up, too...) As James shook the last drops of urine from his penis, he noted that he was still more than a little hard. He stuffed his turgid cock back into his briefs and buttoned his fly as he flushed the toilet. He turned and left the bathroom, quietly entering the darkness of the bedroom and shutting the door softly behind him. He didn't know if Sakjai would be awake or not, and he intended to just re-join him on the bed. He wasn't sure what would happen next, but he was certainly willing to participate! As he sat down on the edge of the bed, he heard footsteps coming down the hall from the direction of the living room and the kitchen beyond it. There was a soft tap on the door, and James heard the voice of his mother. "Jim-James, honey, was that you just now in the bathroom? Are you awake?" Ali asked. "Yeah, Mom, I'm awake." James kept his voice soft, so as not to disturb Sakjai. "Well, your Dad's been home for a while and dinner's going to be ready in a few minutes. How about you and your friend come out now so we can get acquainted, OK?" Before James could answer, Sakjai stirred on the bed next to him. His hand snaked out and found the top of James's thigh, and rested there softly. "James, who is that?" the awakening Thai boy asked. "That's my mother. She came home from work when we were sleeping. She knows you're here and I asked if you could stay and eat dinner with us. OK?" Ali could hear the low tones of the boys' voices behind the closed door. "James, are you ready to come join us, then?" "Yeah, I think so. Just give us a few minutes, Ok, Mom? We'll be right out." "Anything I can get you boys?" Ali was blatantly fishing for information here. She remained totally curious about what was going on behind that door, and she was frustrated that she didn't know more. "Nope, Ma, we're fine. We'll be right out, really! K?" "Alright then." With that failed attempt, Ali wandered back toward the kitchen and her waiting husband. James listened to the fading footsteps, and put his hand on Sakjai's arm, answering the connection that Sakjai had re-established in the darkness of the room. A voice came from the reclining form: "You will eat now, James?" Sakjai asked. "Yeah, my Mom just said it's almost ready. She said you could stay. You do wanna stay and eat with us, right?" James was hopeful and anxious to hear. "Eating with your family, James? Must we eat with them?" Sakjai sounded a little worried. The Thai teen had still been lying down, but he sat up as he asked the question. James reached over and turned the overhead light on, from the switch on the wall between the bed and the door. Two sets of eyes squinted and blinked, as they adjusted to the light and established contact with each other again. James was distracted by the fact that he hadn't buckled his belt or pulled his zipper back up completely when he's finished pissing. He tried to do something about the zipper while he answered, hoping to rectify the matter before Sakjai noticed. (I can't believe I forgot to do this!) "Well, yeah, we generally all eat together." James was trying for a little joke. Boy, he wanted this to happen! What if Sakjai just left and went home, and he never saw the Thai youth again? Catastrophe about to happen! Sakjai grabbed James's hand as he replied, thus inadvertently preventing the zippering up operation, so James's fly continued to gape open, showing the white briefs underneath, framed by the 2 ends of the un-done black leather belt, and only partially covered by the tee-shirt he was also wearing. Both boys were now sitting on the edge of the bed, next to each other. Holding hands again, of course. There still wasn't any other way for them to sit together normally, was there? "But James, I do not know them, and what about my English? And I have never ate---sorry, I have never eaten-- American food before." "Sakjai, you're my friend, right?" "Yes, James." The Thai teen said this simply, but with a sense of conviction along with the worry. He squeezed James's hand and looked at him. "If you're my friend, then my parents will like you! They're always after me about not having enough friends. They'll be thrilled to death that you're eating over, for sure!" James consciously did NOT mention that Ali knew Sakjai had fainted, and was sure to have told his father about that little detail. "Eating over what, James?" Sakjai sounded confused now. "Huh?" James joined the confusion. People thinking in different languages while they're conversing always has its little pitfalls! James hadn't paid much attention to what he'd just said, and was already worrying about explaining the fainting spell, not to mention his gaping trousers and his jockeys showing. Which also reminded him of the remark he'd made to his Mom about Sakjai being cute. (Oh God.) "You said eating over.What does this mean, please?" "Uh.Right.It means eating with us. `Eating over' is a slang expression." "Oh." The Thai boy was still worrying about this simple little idea of eating supper with him and his parents! That seemed like a minor detail to James. What was the big deal about that, he wondered? Especially when compared with the fact that James was now considering if he should tell Sakjai about the `cute' thing. But he decided to avoid that for now. "Look, Sakjai, my mother and father are OK, really! They'll like you, I'm sure. And don't worry about the food. If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. I do the same! Well, my mom tries to get me to eat everything healthy, but if you can't eat something, she won't try and make ya, OK?" "But James." Sakjai was trying to express his shyness and anxiety. His experience of what to expect from parents wasn't even in the same universe as James's expectations seemed to take for granted. But James wasn't understanding how difficult this was for him. James was still busy being distracted by wondering how he might answer if anybody asked him about Sakjai being cute. Out loud, he said: "Sakjai, don't worry about this, it's no big deal. Really, it isn't. Friends eat with their friend's families all the time. It'll be fine. I'll help you with stuff you're not sure about. And your English is OK. I can understand you, can't I? Most of the time, anyhow, right?" "James, you are speaking too fastly again. I will try to do this.but.I am not sure about everything.and I." "Good! That's settled, then. You're staying. You don't wanna eat at home alone, anyhow, right? I don't want you to, for sure. You can eat here anytime you want. It'll be cool!" "James, if I do not understand everything from your mother and father, I think they will not approve of me for to be your friend, and I cannot speak everything for politeness with American people.It is not the same for me as when I speak with you." "Sakjai, I'll help you as much as I can. And we can bring the dictionary with us, too. OK?" The Thai boy was feeling overwhelmed and swept along in a flood of James's good intentions. But he truly didn't want to face leaving here and going back to that empty house. He hadn't even begun to think about what it would mean to do that. So, although he was frightened of the encounter coming with the parents of his first American friend, he felt like he had no choice. And that inevitable dread- filled feeling was as familiar to Sakjai as breathing. "James, I will try to do this, for you.I cannot go back to that house right now, you are correct. That is a bad place for me.Please help me do this in a good way." "I will. I promise. You can do this, Sakjai. Nothing bad will happen. There's nothing to worry about! My mother and father are Ok, really." The Thai boy leaned over and nuzzled James's cheek again, looking for re-assurance and re- connection emotionally, and rested his head on James's shoulder. James automatically reached up and stroked Sakjai's long glistening black hair, now somewhat mussed from sleeping. He had just been electrified by what Sakjai had done. But he didn't have a clue about what Sakjai was looking for when he did it. "Sakjai, can I ask ya something?" The Thai youth didn't raise his head from its resting place on James's shoulder. He was thinking about many things, and none of them was in the present moment. "Mmmm?" "Did you just kiss me?" "Joop khun, chai. Yes, I did.Why, James?" "Do guys usually kiss each other in Thailand?" "Why, James. You don't want?" "Umm..yeah, I like it. I liked it the first time, too, before I went to the bathroom. Is it OK that I kissed you too, Sakjai?" "Of course, James. I do not mind at all. Why?" "We're friends, of course. But in the States, guys don't go around kissing their friends all the time. Well, not guy friends, anyhow. People would usually think that was weird." "Weird, James, you mean, it is not usual for boys to kiss?" "Yeah." "It is not usual for a boy to kiss another boy in Thailand the same as America, James. Nothing is usual for me anywhere, anymore." "But we kissed each other." "Yes, James." But Sakjai was on automatic pilot as he spoke. He had gone someplace deep inside himself to try and muster the reserves of spirit that were going to be required to meet James's family and interact with them in such a way that perhaps nothing bad would happen. It was difficult to imagine that nothing would. He had so little experience with things going well. He was paying practically no attention to what James was saying about boys kissing. It mattered to him only in so much as James mattered to him. But not for the kisses themselves. Those just existed on their own, in their own special world. The kisses were something `usual' now between the two of them, just as holding hands now was. But that didn't translate into anything further for Sakjai right now. And James? James was talking about something he never expected to have an open discussion about, ever. There was a surreal feeling to it for him. He felt as though he was floating above his own body, watching somebody else discuss boys kissing boys. His heart was pounding, and he felt hot and flushed. It never occurred to him that the Thai youth might not be having the same discussion. "Can I ask ya another question, Sakjai?" "Of course, James." "You wanna sleep over?" That question slipped out without James thinking about it ahead of time. In his own mind, it was such a natural extension of everything else that had happened that day. Despite his minor anxiety about possible landmines over supper with his folks, James was suddenly very excited in a way he had never really felt before. He felt his dick twitch to life again inside his jeans. Well, it hadn't ever really gone back down from before, had it? "Sleep over what?" Sakjai's question might have sounded incredibly dense, but he had never learned anything about these common expressions at school in Thailand. Instruction about American slang in school back in Bangkok had consisted of such things as "Yeah, man!" and "Cool, dude!" from movies and cable TV. He was going to be confused a lot of the time until he began to learn how Americans really spoke to each other off camera and outside of books, so to speak. "You know, like, ummm. spend the night here, sleep with me instead of going back to your aunt's house tonight." James was suddenly shy. He realized that he had a lot more interesting problems to negotiate than just getting through supper with his parents! He had just heard himself ask Sakjai to `sleep with him', and not merely `spend the night at his house', or any other alternative wordings of that phrase either. "James, you mean I can sleep here with you and not go back to that other house?" He made it sound like `that other house' was Frankenstein's Castle or something. He looked down at the big bed they had already shared for the afternoon. It never occurred to either of them that there was another bedroom for them to discuss.like, for instance, his sister's room right across from the bathroom. "Yeah. I mean sleep here with me." James was thinking MAKE LOVE. Nah. Let's be totally accurate here. James was thinking SEX SEX SEX. And he assumed that Sakjai was talking about the same thing. He wasn't. Sakjai was thinking about a safe and loving place, for sure. But his mind wasn't on sex at all. It hadn't been all afternoon. Little did James know, way over there, inside his own head! (Of course he's thinking about sex like I am.), James thought to himself, (.there's the 2 kisses, and the discussion about boys not usually kissing each other, and we've been holding hands and sleeping together for hours, and I think he wants to, and I really wanna, so he must be thinking the same.) There were several good reasons why Sakjai wouldn't understand what sleeping here with James might mean to James. That wasn't really computing either, for either of them. Let alone the thought that Sakjai might not be horny like James was right now, even if he DID want to sleep here. "Good. Thank you. I need to do that." "Do what, Sakjai?" James thought he'd heard something about needing to do it. (Do it? Do it! Alright!!! He IS thinking what I'm thinking! But I gotta make sure.) "I want to sleep here with you tonight. I do not want to go back to that house. I cannot think about that." James thought, (He said `sleep here'. That must mean the same. YES!!) Then out loud, he calmly said: "Right. That's what we'll do, then. It'll be cool with my Mom and Dad, I think. They always tell me so, anyhow." "Good, James. Thank you very much. But your mother called you to come eat now, chai mai?" "Chai." Once again, James was using an expression from a language he had never heard before today. And he'd done it unconsciously. He had no idea that when other people heard that, then they would notice right away, either. "James, should we go now, then?" he said, sounding like he wanted to get something over with. Which he did. In his own mind, Sakjai was thinking that just sleeping again in this safe bed was going to be much easier than dealing with all the unknowns outside the bedroom door. If he could only postpone the inevitable and evade reality just a little bit longer, then he wouldn't have to think about anything else for a while either. And he would be with James, his wonderful new friend. "Right. Um.do you have ta use the hong nahm first? I sure did!" "Yes, please, and I need to wash from sleeping." "Ok, sir, right this way to the facilities, then!" James reverted to the false waiter-sounding voice they'd bantered with before their nap. As he spoke, he opened the door and gestured out into the hall. The Thai teen kept holding onto James's hand as they exited the bedroom and took the few steps to the bathroom door. It didn't look like he was planning on letting go, either. "Sakjai, doncha want to use the hong nahm on yer own.?" James was using this as another test question, trying to make sure that Sakjai wanted what he himself wanted later. But the answer didn't do anything to clarify whether James's assumptions were accurate or not. "James, you must wash also! It is not polite to see your parents without washing your face!" This at least was familiar territory for the Thai teen to navigate with some assurance! "Uh.right.Ok." And Sakjai pushed the door open, as he pulled James into the bathroom. James shut it behind them, wondering if his parents would notice that they were both now in the bathroom at the same time. James was thinking, (Oh God.) Inside the bathroom, Sakjai turned and noticed the condition of James's pants for the first time. He pointed to the gaping fly and the clinking belt buckle with a quiet giggle. James looked down and flushed red, zipping and buckling as he did so. He turned to the doublewide sink and turned the water on. As he did this, Sakjai looked at the toilet and realized that he too had a bladder full to overflowing. He simply turned a little away from James, and unbuckled and unzipped himself as James had done just a few minutes before. He pulled his dark blue bikini-style briefs down in front, and uncovered the mysterious contents as he prepared to relieve himself. James was stunned into paralysis at this sight, and his hands were caught mid-way between the sink and his face, his hands dripping wet. He gaped open-mouthed at the sight of Sakjai engaged in such an intimate act so unselfconsciously. The Thai boy was turned partly away from him, so he couldn't see much detail, but James could make out the color of the briefs, and the manner in which the Thai held himself and his clothing as he pissed. And he could see that the Thai boy was uncircumcised. It was an incredibly powerful and moving moment for James. But Sakjai seemed to have no idea about any of that, and simply finished his business, zipping and buckling up as he did so. He turned to the other sink and twisted the faucet on. Glancing at James, he saw the stunned expression on his new friend's face. "What, James?" "Ummm.nothing.ummm.you wanna. ummm.comb your hair, there's a hair brush right there next to you. " (Shit, that was fast thinking, there, bud. If he doesn't wanna mention anything right now, then I won't either.) Sakjai smiled over at James, and nodded his thanks. The two boys finished up the basics of washing hands and faces and hair brushing and checking their faces closely in the mirrors for signs of zits. They smiled again at each other as they did that. Some things about teenage boys are universal, after all! "Ok, Sakjai, let's go meet the `rents!" "Who?!" Sakjai was worrying again, thinking that there would be even more strangers present than he thought. "'Rents.slang again, sorry.parents." "James, can you please tell me before you use more slang, please? I have much to learn!" "Yeah, me too. Never mind, we'll work it out. Ok?" "Ok." The two new friends took each other's hands and exited the bathroom, going to meet the `rents. Neither of them had any idea what the other was really thinking about. Paul le Roq sat companionably in the kitchen, relaxing from work at his law firm, having a drink, and chatting with his wife. He had done this practically every night of his working weeks for as long as they'd been married. The positions were switched if he was cooking and Ali had just gotten home from a late shift. But it was a scene remarkable only in it's everyday domesticity. He'd been home almost half an hour, but he hadn't been past the kitchen yet. That was also pretty normal. His briefcase was out in the dining room, on the same chair with his suit jacket. His fashionable dark blue shirt was opened at the neck, and his colorful Versace necktie was loose around the collar. His dark brown hair was a little shaggy, but wasn't messy, either. The picture Paul created was one of personal style and a bit of flair, but not in any way looking for attention. His self- assurance was something he wore unconsciously. That image was confirmed by the deep green Jaguar he'd just parked next to the Land Cruiser in the garage. It wasn't flashy, but it showed both his success and his enjoyment of life. The Rolex on his wrist could have been a copy, but it wasn't. And he didn't feel much need to tell anybody the difference, should they ever ask. He was a large, solid man. He held his middle age well. Rugged good looks were assisted by his almost daily workouts at the gym next to his office building downtown. His features were what is commonly described as chiseled, square chin framing a kind, intelligent, and open looking face. But his eyes were perhaps the most noticeable features. They were a piercing blue, and had been the first thing that had attracted Ali the night they'd met. Those eyes still did it for her, practically every time she saw them. You can lose yourself in eyes like those, she'd often said. She had willingly lost herself in them almost 20 years ago. That had shocked her at the time. She hadn't expected to feel that way about any man, but she had. And she'd never looked back. Paul sipped his gin and tonic. Ali chopped salad greens from the colander in the sink. The meatloaf was almost finished cooking in the oven, the vegetables were being kept warm, and the potatoes were boiled, ready for Paul to mash. His patented method for preparing mashed potatoes made them the best in the family, everybody preferred his to hers anytime. Ali didn't mind that. She enjoyed it. She drank white wine poured from the open bottle in the fridge. "So, what about him?" Paul asked. "Well, aren't you just a little bit curious about the mystery guest in your son and heir's room as we speak?" "More relieved and pleased than anything else, hon. We keep asking him to bring his friends around, right? I'm happy he's finally done it for once. I was beginning to think he had no friends this school year except the library books he brings home all the time. Are there interesting details that you're holding out on me about? There couldn't be that many yet! You just said that they haven't even come out of his room since you got home." His tone was light, slightly humoring her. He knew very well that she was always intensely `curious' about details of her children's lives. He also knew that she'd probably been gathering clues and bits of conjecture about this since she came home, even though she'd said she hadn't really seen them yet. "Oh, one or two interesting bits. Even though there's nothing that would hold up in court, you bum. You're no fun at all. Aren't you the least bit interested in nosing around a little? I think our son has some surprises in store for us." "Nah, babe. You nose around quite enough for the both of us; I depend on you for that. You'd have made a good private eye, I always say that. If I could hire you for that, and keep the money in the family, Jack Walsh would be poorer for it, that's for sure." Paul was a litagator, and a very good one, too. Since he spent much of his career working in front of juries, he wanted to make sure he knew what he was talking about in all circumstances. He used the services of a private detective regularly, and paid a small fortune in hourly fees for it. "Come on, poking around in the lives of complete strangers? Invasion of privacy, that's what that is! Nope, it's much more interesting finding out things about the near and dear! That's the spice in life. You wouldn't be half the attorney you are if you weren't a bit of a voyeur as well." "Oh, no, you don't. You're sexy when you speak French to me, but that won't throw me off the track tonight! Those shrinks you work for, those guys are the real voyeurs. Talking all day about people's deepest and the darkest secrets, and getting paid for it! That doesn't ever sound like real work to me." They'd had this good-natured disagreement for years. It was only a difference in degree anyhow, not in substance. "So, what are these interesting bits about our dinner guest, then?" "Ah-hah! I knew I'd get you to ask!" "Well, you succeeded, so spill!" He took another sip of his drink and smiled indulgently. "Ok, then. You're gonna love this. This friend is new in town, recently arrived from the exotic East. Thailand, actually." "Really?" Paul arched his eyebrows. "He must be really cute, then. Thailand is a country full of cute people." Ali put her veggie chopper down and moved over to the table Paul was seated at. Lifting her wine glass in his direction in a sort of salute, Ali said: "That's exactly what---(significant pause, Ali loved significant pauses)--- James--- said about him. What do you think of that?!" "Ok, wife, you have my undivided attention. Jimmy said this new kid is cute? I don't think I've ever heard him say that anybody is cute, ever!" "Don't call him Jimmy! You keep forgetting that he wants to be called Jim. It pisses him off when you forget. But go ahead and forget the Jim part, as of today. Today he announced to me that he's to be called James. And yes, he says that the visitor is---(pause)---cute. I have no idea if one of these new developments has anything to do with the other. We shall see." Paul looked confused. "I thought you just said that he hasn't been out of his room? When was this conversation?" "Just after I got home. Right outside his door. I just knocked and told him I was home, and asked about the shoes." Ali gestured toward the door to the garage. "Well, this kid probably takes his shoes off inside houses all the time. So you and---James---had an intimate little chat through his closed door? What's with that formal name, now that you mention it." "Exactly. I don't like things happening in this house that I haven't got a clue about. And then he asked me something about fainting, like this boy had fainted or something, so I started to go into the room, and he booted me right out." "Ali, he never likes us in his room. It's his Fortress of Solitude, as he called it when he was younger. The Thai kid fainted? Why? And when did the term `cute' come up?" "As he was giving me the bum's rush out of his room, he was trying to get on my good side by telling me a bit about the boy. He told me that he's from Thailand, new in town, friend from school, something about fainting, and then he distinctly said that this boy is cute. He tried to cover it up and changed it to `nice' right afterwards, but I know what I heard!" "So what were they doing in there when you opened the door?" Paul couldn't resist. He wanted details now, too! "The lights were off, the TV was off, the music was off, they were asleep, near as I can figure. On his bed." "Uh-huh." Paul blinked as he thought about that and took a drink. Ali settled into one of the chairs opposite. "Asleep. With a cute boy?" Ali nodded her head up and down once. "Well, we haven't thought about this possibility, have we?" Paul said thoughtfully. Ali just shook her head side to side. Once. "So our son might be Bi?" "Or gay. Yes, I've been thinking about that possibility, counselor. What do you think about that?" "I see what you mean about some surprises. I'm surprised you didn't jump all over me with this as soon as I walked through the door!" Ali sniffed. "You know you hate it when I do that. You're stalling while you think, angel. Think out loud, please!" "Well, we never thought of this. We should have, I suppose. I mean, we didn't have to with Chris, what with all those gentleman callers starting from when she was about 113. But I suppose we should have been open to all the possibilities right along." "As far as we knew, he hasn't been interested in anybody sexually. He never says he is, he never has any magazines around, never anything to indicate any sexuality at all. Well, except for the rag under the mattress for clean-ups." Ali giggled and shook her head. Paul chuckled a little at that as well. "Yeah, funny thing about that rag. What's it been, more than three years already, and he's never seemed to notice that it gets washed every week. My mother never did that for me, let me tell you!" "Well, if she did, I'm sure she would have been more polite than to rub your nose in it by mentioning the subject!" Paul wrinkled that nose and just said, "Eeww." And Ali cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. "You know what I mean!" she said with a wry grin. "So we might have a Bi son. Or gay, as you say. Won't that be interesting! It'll gross his sister out. She's such a homophobic little beast. You think he'll come out to us, or will we have to ask him?" "Paul, get real. Our son's first friend---possibly his first date---home for dinner with the folks, and you think we should just enquire about his sexual orientation over meatloaf??" "Of course, not like that! You know what I mean. We'll have so much to talk with him about. Do you think they're having sex?" Ali barked a delighted little laugh. "You're getting just as bad as me! We aren't even sure if he's gay, we aren't sure this boy is the object of his affection, so to speak, and we have no clue about his sex life other than the torrid affair he has going with his pillow!" "Right, Your Honor. Objection sustained on that count. So we don't have to run out before supper and buy an assortment pack of condoms for them. But how should we handle this meal, then?" "Paulie, we'll have to play this one by ear. I haven't even got a clue about what Thai people eat, other than Thai food and rice, for heaven's sake! And we didn't have any rice, so we're just having the meatloaf I defrosted this morning." "That's my wife! Our son might be starting a whole new alternative life style here, and you're worried about rice and meatloaf?" He grinned from ear to ear. God, he loved this woman, he really did. "Are you gonna make fun of me, Mr. Fancy Pants, or are you gonna help out here?" She was good- natured about it, but Ali was genuinely concerned about doing the right thing tonight. "I love you to pieces, Alison Hawking le Roq. We've always been a hell of a team, haven't we? We've gotten through lots of situations just fine. We'll get through this one, too." Ali loved it when Paul used her maiden name as well. She'd had quite a wrestle with herself and lots of family and friends about whether to give it up and take Paul's name when they married. They'd decided it would be easier for everybody if they kept it simple and didn't hyphenate, which had been all the rage when they married. Everybody they knew had been so flabbergasted that they were together at all, that the details of the names hadn't caused more than a momentary flurry. Ali sighed and smiled again. "Yes, I'm sure we will. Thank God I have you to do this with. I couldn't imagine life's little twists and turns without you, ya know." "For sure, babe. The most important thing now is that our son gets to find somebody for himself as good as we each got! All questions about the gender of this person aside for the moment." "Do you really think I give a damn about that?!" Alison was genuinely shocked that Paul might think any such thing. "No, of course not! Just reminding both of us about the most important things, is all." "Oh, good. That's a relief. I was afraid you were thinking I'd suddenly turned into a rabid Republican or something." "What, my wife? Never! Just making sure we stay focused." "Paulie, be nice to them. You tend to use the third degree outside the Courtroom as well as you do when you're working. Don't ask too many questions right off, Ok?" "What, me ask too many nosey questions?? Remember, you're the private eye here, not me!" He chuckled again, trying to keep it light so Ali didn't get bogged down in anxiety herself. Alison gave the appearance of becoming outraged, "Well, the very idea! I am perfectly well behaved in social gatherings. You can dress me up and take me out practically anywhere." "Yes, true, true. Except for rooms full of reactionary conservative types. You eat those for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You haven't marched for anything in years. Maybe we can join Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. That would be an interesting new group." Alison snorted. "Since when is that a new group? I was just having lunch with Gwen and Vera last Thursday. They founded this local branch of P-FLAG themselves, you know. Remember I told you we should join before?" Paul nodded. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. But now we'd actually be `Parents of.' and not just `Friends of.' that'd be different, wouldn't it? And who'd have thought that the neighborhood pioneering dykes on bikes would adopt themselves another lesbian when they decided they wanted a child? And they didn't even especially ask for one. I like their Harley motorcycles, though. Maybe I'll get one." "Which, a dyke or a bike?" Ali retorted. "Don't be obtuse, you tart! If our Jimmy---sorry---James-I promise to get it right from now on--- turns out to be Bi or gay, maybe we can have these conversations in front of the children and not just when they aren't around. That would be a nice change, wouldn't it?" "Paulie, don't go putting the cart before the horse quite yet. Before we can talk about our radical friends and neighbors, we might have to have a little chat with our beloved offspring about another couple of things first." "Oh, shit. How could I have forgotten that? Ok, you tell Chris and I'll tell James!" "Paul!! That's not fair at all!! Just because she's a girl and I'm the mother? Gimme a break." Ali was horrified at this idea. "We both have to talk to each of them together about that." "Right. I'll follow the plan we always had, of course.But you will allow me to dread the discussion with our daughter, the Republican?" "Ugh.Thank God we don't have to tackle this all at once tonight!" Alison grimaced with great feeling indeed. Paul brought them back to the topic at hand. "We've managed to avoid it pretty well with them both thus far. I suppose we've been lucky about that. So, tonight we keep it light, right?" Ali nodded emphatically. "Right. And we don't press for details. We listen, and we make normal conversation. And not too many questions..." Paul grinned with a slightly evil twinkle. "Normal conversation? How boring! So we can't talk about sex?" Ali shook her finger at her beloved husband and partner in crime. "Not unless they bring it up first!" Paul continued to leer. "So, I'll have to just contain myself until later, hmm?" Ali shook herself at him. "You're lucky it's a Friday night, Mister. It costs ya extra mid-week, ya know!" "Don't I just?! That's been costing me an arm and a leg for years..." "Nah, Paulie, those aren't the bits that I'm most interested in!" As they laughed, enjoying each other's company as they always did, they heard muted noise from the hallway past the living room. Sounds of a door opening, and a toilet flushing soon thereafter. Alison and Paul looked at each other, each seeking and finding the support that they knew they could count on, underneath the banter. Paul looked at his wife, and said, "Well, it appears that the Sleeping Beauties awaken. Let's get this show on the road. The suspense is killing me!" Ali nodded. "I'll go tell them dinner is ready." When Ali returned from the reconnaissance mission, Paul was mashing the potatoes. "They'll be right out. James-huh, strange to call him that---James said they'd be out soon. I still don't have a clue about what's going on in there." "Soon, babe. Let me get you some more wine. I need another drink, too." "Oh, the lawyer is anxious tonight. Two drinks in a row?" "Well, it might be a special occasion, who knows?" The two expectant parents tried to make idle chitchat while they waited for their son and his friend to appear. They soon heard the bedroom door open again, and the bathroom door shut. They'd both had their radar switched on for any noises from that direction. Paul said, "Well, nothing unusual about two guy friends sharing the bathroom, is there?" "Time will tell, Paulie. Time will tell." They heard bathroom door noises again, and footsteps shuffling toward them. Turning to the entry to the living room from the cooking area of the kitchen, they saw two teenage boys framed in the doorway. The shorter, more solid one was their son, and they knew what he looked like! So both pairs of parental eyes moved to Sakjai's tall, lithe frame. Paul thought, "Huh, he IS cute." Alison thought, "He looks more nervous than us." The two adults then noticed something else. The two boys were holding hands. James noticed the simultaneous downward glance. His first thought was, "Shit, is my fly still open or what?" Then he looked down and saw Sakjai's hand gripping his own like a vise. He released the Thai boy's hand with some difficulty, and put it on Sakjai's shoulder in what he hoped would be seen as a companionable but neutral gesture. "Mom, Dad, this is my friend Sakjai. Sakjai, this is my mother and father." Although momentarily even more panicked by losing his handhold on James, Sakjai fell back on time- honored Thai tradition. Bringing his two hands together like he was praying, he raised them to his nose level and bowed slightly from the waist. This was the Thai gesture of greeting and respect, called the `wai'. "Sawasdee, krap" Sakjai said softly as he nodded distinctly to each of the adults. Paul smiled and said, "Very pleased to meet you, Sakjai. Please call me Paul, and this is Alison. There is no need to be formal with us, Ok?" Sakjai wai'ed again, saying, "Thank you very much, Khun Paul, Khun Alison." James spoke up. "'Khun means Mr. And Mrs. both, ya know, right Sakjai?" "Yes, James" The Thai boy's voice was barely above a whisper. Alison became the good hostess. "Please, boys, sit down. We've put the extender into the table here, so there's plenty of room for 4, just like when James's sister is home from university. James, you sit in your usual place, here on the left. Sakjai, please, sit right here." She pointed to the fourth chair, against the wall, so he would be facing the rest of the kitchen, and opposite James. Paul took his place at the bottom end, and Ali started bringing serving plates to the table. "Anything to drink, boys?" Paul asked. "Um, Dad, I'll have a Coke, and Sakjai, what do ya want.?" The Thai youth just smiled vaguely at his friend. James forged onward, "How about some more Perrier water, you liked that before? Or a Coke or a Sprite or iced tea or something?" "Water, please, James. Thank you." Sakjai's voice could barely be heard, it was so quiet. Paul went to the fridge and busied himself preparing the boys' drinks. Ali smiled at Sakjai as she started passing the food platters to James. "So, Sakjai, James tells us that you've been in the States for just a short while, is that right?" "Chai, Khun Alison." The voice continued very hushed and painfully polite. "Mom, `chai' is Thai for `right', huh, Sakjai?" "Yes, James." The Thai youth was staring at his empty plate, avoiding eye contact with anyone, except for short glances at James. "Sakjai, please help yourself to dinner. We are very informal here. There's meatloaf, which is made with hamburger. And mashed potato. The salad already has Italian dressing on it, and the cauliflower is fresh. I hope you like everything! I didn't know there would be a guest tonight." Sakjai looked at Alison, and then at the various dishes that had just been offered. He made no move towards any of it. Paul returned to the table with the boys' drinks, putting them at their places. James grabbed his water glass and gulped about half of it immediately. Then he noticed that all three of the others at the table were studying him intently. He flushed and seemed to shrink into himself again. "Um, Mom, I'll help Sakjai get his food, Ok? Um, Sakjai, you want some meatloaf, right? You tell me how much, ok..." and started to serve his friend off the platter. Stretching across the table, he put a large slice on Sakjai's plate. "Is that Ok?" "Yes, James, that is fine..." But he didn't look up any longer than to peek at James, who smiled bravely at his new friend. "Mom's a great cook, you'll see! So's Dad. Dad, you made the mashed potatoes, right? Sakjai, ya want some of those, right?" Paul smiled at James, and nodded his encouragement. "That's right, Sakjai. My mashed potatoes are Number One!" James put a large dollop of the creamy white substance next to the meatloaf on Sakjai's plate. And followed it with cauliflower and some of the salad greens as well. Then he filled his own plate. Paul tried to get the conversational ball rolling once again. "So, James, your mother says we're not going to be calling you Jim anymore, is that right?" "Yup, that's right Dad! Sakjai and I decided that today, right, Sakjai?" "Yes, James." Quick glances at father and son. Ali continued, "Why is that?" James flushed a bit as he sputtered, "Umm, well, it just, well, um, it's more grown-up. We like the sound of it better, right, Sakjai?" "Yes, James." Everyone was now intensely aware that the Thai boy had said nothing much except for those two little words since entering the room. James tried to draw his new friend into the conversation. "Mom, Dad, Sakjai comes from Bangkok. He says it's bigger than New York City! Isn't that so, Sakjai?" "Yes, James, Bangkok is very large." Paul asked, "How long have you been here in Middleboro, Sakjai?" "About one month..." Finally Sakjai looked at something other than his plate and at James. He noticed the blue color of his friend's father's eyes, and looked into them for a moment. "What do you think of the town so far?" Paul smiled and tried to send his son's guest a message that everything would be Ok. "It is alright, sir. But everything is not the same..." Sakjai noticed that everyone was now eating. He picked up the spoon and levered a piece of cauliflower onto it. As he raised it to his mouth, he saw that everybody else was using their forks as they ate. Sakjai paused mid-way to his mouth, and swiftly returned the spoon to the plate self- conscious in the extreme. His hands fell to his lap. Ali spoke first, although they had all three noted this action with dismay. "What is it, Sakjai? You're not eating. Is there something else I can get for you? Maybe all this American food is pretty strange for you." James reached out his foot and rubbed Sakjai's leg a little under the table, trying to make a connection. Paul and Ali looked at each other. Sakjai didn't look at anyone, but murmured, "I'm sorry..." Paul's voice was gentle, "Hey, nothing to be sorry about, nothing at all, son. Alison says that you've been having a really rough day, is that right?" Sakjai raised his eyes above plate level and looked at Paul. "Rough...what is the meaning of this word, please, Khun Paul?" "Difficult, son. A very difficult and hard day. James told Alison that you had some sort of a problem today, and that you were having a hard time." James jumped in, "It's Ok Sakjai, they just wanna help. I told my Mom about you fainting before, but I told her that you were Ok, now. You are Ok, now, right, Sakjai?" The Thai boy looked around the table and saw that each of these people was really interested in him. Maybe they would be able to understand him a little. But not about the fainting. Not about the dark pit he had been about to fall into. That would be too much to discuss. He couldn't do that. "Khun Paul, Khun Alison, thank you for everything now tonight. I am sorry about not knowing everything to do with American food and eating here in America. I'm sorry...but..." "What?!" all three seemed to say it at the same time. "In Thailand we usually eat with a spoon. But not small spoons like this one. You all are using your `sawm', chai mai, krap...err...sorry...what is the English word for this...?" And he held up the fork from his table setting. James jumped in, "Fork, Sakjai. You mean `sawm' is the Thai word for fork? And ya mean that in Thailand, you don't eat with forks? You eat everything with big spoons?" "Yes, James, thank you for helping me explanation...for helping me to explain. I'm sorry, but I did not know..." gesturing sort of helplessly at the silverware. Ali looked a bit relieved, "Oh, honey, never mind the forks and spoons or anything. You just eat whatever you want with whatever you want, Ok? We don't care about that at all!" Paul nodded and smiled as well. The Thai boy smiled, but didn't move to pick up any silverware. James looked at Sakjai, considered things for a moment more, and then said, "Mom, Dad, let me get Sakjai a bigger spoon, so he can eat like he's used to." And with that, James jumped up from the table and went to the silverware drawer. He came back with not one, but with 4 larger soupspoons, and gave one to each of them. "I think we should all eat with these tonight. After all, Sakjai has to eat American food, and it's a little weird for him. Let's at least eat Thai-style along with him, Ok?" Paul and Alison looked at each other in surprise, their eyebrows raised. Then they looked at James, who had returned to his seat and was digging into his meatloaf with the big spoon. Then they looked at Sakjai, who was gazing at James with adoration in his eyes. "Yes, well, let's um.. dig in, shall we..." said Paul to his bemused wife. James caught Sakjai's attention and nodded encouragement. For the first time since leaving the bedroom, the Thai boy smiled. It was a faint wisp of a grin, but it was there. He picked up the big spoon with more assurance, and put some cauliflower into his mouth, chewing cautiously. James had forgotten the existence of his parents for the moment. "How does it taste, Sakjai?" "Thailand has this vegetable. In Thai, it is called `dawk kah lam'. It is good." "Mom, Dad, Sakjai's been teaching me some other Thai words, too. `Hong nahm' means bathroom, right, Sakjai?" "Yes, James. You are a good student." And that smile beamed a little brighter on the Thai youth's face. "And, Dad, this is cool, get this! `James' is the name of a famous Thai rock singer!" Paul exclaimed, "Ah-hah! That's why we're having another big name shift, then? So you can be James, like this famous Thai rock star?" "Sure, why not?" said James. Then with a glint in his eye, he continued, "It's a better name than--- `Jim'---right, Sakjai?!" and giggled. Sakjai looked a little shocked, but then saw the look in his friend's eye, and smiled again. "Yes, James. I like it better than---Jim---". Then he blushed the most delightful shade of crimson. Ali looked at her husband. "Paulie, I think we have entered the warped land of teenage insider's jokes!" But she smiled as she said it. Her husband nodded indulgently. Alison noted that her son's Thai guest seemed to be eating better after the rocky start. He was quiet, but was coming out of his shell somewhat. So she decided to risk another informational gambit. "So, Sakjai, what is the Thai word for fainting?" and smiled, looking expectantly at her son and his guest. The room became quiet. Sakjai's smile faltered, and he put his spoon down. He took a drink, and James noticed that he was staring at his plate again. He came to his friends' rescue without thinking about the consequences. "Mom, Sakjai doesn't want to talk about that right now, Ok? He's fine now, so let's just change the subject." "But, James.." "Mom, please! Trust me." Alison looked at Paul for support and advice. But Paul just shrugged and gestured subtly to let it go. His son had never been so directly assertive with either of them before. It took him by surprise, and of course he was concerned about the possibly fragile health of their son's guest. But he had to admit that he liked James being more assured, and not so anxious all the time. Ali glanced at her husband with raised eyebrows, but simply said, "Well, of course, James. I'm sorry, Sakjai, I didn't mean to ask too many questions..." "Yeah, Sakjai, Mom works with a bunch of doctors, and she's always asking me all sorts of health questions. Right, Dad?" "James, don't push it too much." Paul replied. "I'm sure you would tell us if there was anything that either of you needed, right?" At this, Alison looked gratefully at her husband. "Yeah, sure Dad, no problem. No big deal really, Ok? Right, Sakjai?" The Thai youth was thinking that American families must be very different from Thais. He would never have dreamed of contradicting anything his mother had ever said to him. He couldn't believe that James had just protected him from painful embarrassment, and his mother had listened to James. She appeared to respect his new friend, and not just expect obedience in all things. And Paul was so strong. Sakjai wondered if that was where James had gotten his strength. Sakjai also noticed that Alison and Paul seemed to listen to each other and enjoy each other's company. He had never seen his own parents eat together ever, let alone want to be together that he knew of. This was an amazing new world for him, full of possibilities as well as unknowns. He relaxed a little more. "Yes, James. I am fine now, thank you very much." And to prove it, he even ate some of the meatloaf and mashed potatoes, although he didn't like either of them at all. He found the fare to be generally bland and tasteless, as he was raised to prefer the fiery hot and spicy foods that were so common in Thai cuisine. He'd finished the salad and veggies on his plate twice though. James had reached over and served him seconds of those items without thinking anything about it. He was taking care of his friend! "Oh, Mom, Dad, by the way...Sakjai is gonna spend the night, Ok?" He was trying to be casual in his manner, but he tensed waiting for the response. Alison said, "Well, that's fine with us, of course. Your father and I already predicted that. But what about Sakjai's family? Has he gotten their permission, son?" "Ummm, well, ummm... there's nobody there right now to ask, really. Sakjai lives right around the corner on Jonathan Drive; did I tell you that before? But his Aunt is down in the City for a few days, and their maid's already gone home by now. So is it Ok if he stays with us? He'd have to sleep all by himself at his aunt's house, and that must be pretty boring, right, Sakjai?" Alison had just been given a glimpse of a landslide of interesting information to chew on for a while. She was eager to ask about all of it. As she drew breath to launch into her list of observations and questions, Paul took the wind right out of her sails. "Sakjai, you live with your Aunt and a housekeeper?" The Thai boy nodded affirmatively. "Your aunt is away now? When will she be back, son?" Sakjai noticed the use of the familial term immediately. And he liked it. A lot. "I am not sure, Khun Paul. Two days, perhaps three. She did not tell this to me. I have her telephone number, but I have never called to her down in that city." "And you have a housekeeper that comes during the daytime?" Sakjai nodded affirmatively. "Well then, let's do this. Sakjai can stay here tonight. Heck, he can stay as long as he likes, as far as I'm concerned. But as soon as we get up in the morning, we'll call the housekeeper and tell her what the arrangement is. What's her name, son?" Sakjai replied, "Nancy, na krap." "Nancy what?" Paul felt he hadn't heard all of the name correctly. James jumped in, being helpful. "Oh, Dad, Sakjai just uses the word `krap' to mean sir. He's being polite with you. The maid's name is just Nancy, chai mai?" And then he looked at Sakjai expectantly. Paul looked to Sakjai, who again nodded affirmatively, with a small smile. "Fine, we'll call Nancy as soon as she gets to work at your house. What time is that, Sakjai?" "8:30, na krap" "8:30 it is, then. And when Sakjai's Aunt comes home, I'd like to meet her. Ok with everybody?" And with that, he started to eat again. Alison flapped a little bit. "But Paul, we don't even..." "We can discuss all this later, Ok, hon?" He was being very pleasant, but the tone in his voice brooked no disagreement, and he used that tone very seldom. "Yes, dear." Alison meekly replied. She was shocked at herself. She never said things like that. But she kept her fuming invisible for the sake of the boys. "Wow, cool! Thanks Dad, this is great, I really appreciate it a lot! Jeez, Sakjai, you can stay, see, I told you, no problem. Thanks too, mom, for everything. Supper was great, and everything. This is great..." He was bubbling away at full boil now, that's for sure! "James, go on now, go do whatever boys like to do these days. There must be something on the tube tonight, or some video you haven't watched yet. But James..." the warning note in his voice got his son's attention immediately. "Yes, Dad?" "You'll be sure to tell us anything we need to know so your mother and I can be good hosts and responsible parents, right, son?" "Yes, Dad. I will. I promise." "Good. I trust you, just like we always talk about. You make sure to take good care of your guest too. If either of you needs anything at all, I'm depending on you to let us know about it." "Dad, Mom, really. We're fine. I promise. Thanks for everything. You're the best parents in the world. I mean it." "Enough of the flattery and buttering up your old Mom and Dad now, James. We're here when you need to talk to us about anything. And we'll tell you if we need to talk about anything with you, too. Right?" "Uh, yeah, sure Dad. Whatever you say. Ok, Mom?" James knew enough to check things out with her as well. "Yes, son. Your father seems to have covered everything. At least for now, that is. But we'll make plenty of time to talk more about all of this in the morning, I'm sure." That sounded as definite as the Rocky Mountain range to everyone at the table! She had even put her husband on notice about that. "Ok, Mom, sure, no problem. Ok, Sakjai? Are ya finished? Mom and Dad usually have coffee on their own and talk about boring parent stuff for a while. Wanna go back to our room?" Paul and Alison noticed it, of course. The use of the word "our". Another significant glance passed between the two parents at that word. But James didn't realize what he had just said. Neither had Sakjai. He was just relieved that the ordeal was over and there hadn't been any disasters or earthquakes. "Yes, James. Thank you, Khun Alison. Thank you, Khun Paul." He wai'ed both adults as he rose from the table. "The food was very good." He said this despite hardly touching the meat and potatoes portions left uneaten on his plate. The two parents both smiled and nodded. James put his arm around his friend's shoulder as they left the table, heading back to the privacy and familiar territory of his room. Their room. Paul and Alison were left alone as the dust settled into silence around them, and they looked pensively at each other, sipping their drinks and wondering who would start speaking first. ****************************************************************************** End of "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 08 Comments, questions, and constructive criticism is GLADLY received! Please email me at: Alienist_hk@Yahoo.com I answer all emails! Flames automatically push flamers into the Pit of Darkness... "Alienist" was the first professional title used by psychiatrists and psychologists in the 1890's. These pioneer counselors and therapists were considered to be working with people who were "alienated" from themselves and others. That's still true today, isn't it?