Date: Thu, 3 Aug 2000 01:18:24 -0700 (PDT) From: The Alienist <alienist_hk@yahoo.com> Subject: "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 09 "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 09 By the Alienist Alienist_hk@Yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of erotic and romantic fiction involving teenage boys. All the usual rules apply. If you shouldn't be reading this, then please don't continue. Or at least try not to be caught! COPYRIGHT NOTICE: This story is copyrighted August 2000 by the author, who retains all rights. You may distribute or copy this story in any way you like, PROVIDED that this copyright notice remains intact and that you do NOT change the story in any way. I give it freely to all, please continue that way yourself. DEDICATION: This story is dedicated to all lovers, young or old, who manage to reach out to each other despite vast distances and obstacles. You have my respect at your courage! NOTE: All Thai words and phrases have been spelled so that readers may pronounce them correctly. Please note that I am an American listener of Thai, as well. Other transliteration methods may vary. ANOTHER NOTE: For those of you who used to follow this story on the Teen Boy Authors (TBA) site, please be advised that TBA was killed recently and permanently. I will continue to post here on Nifty, though. And thanks be to Nifty! Constructive criticism, comments, suggestions, and questions are gladly---no---eagerly accepted! Please email me at alienist_hk@yahoo.com I answer all emails, except for some of the ruder flames. "Holding On For Dear Life" Part 09 Securely behind the closed door of their bedroom once again, Sakjai turned to James and hugged him close, relaxing himself against the American boy's sturdy frame and heaving a big sigh of relief as he did so. James had to brace himself a little, but it was a pleasant adjustment to have to make. Automatically wrapping his own arms around Sakjai's waist, he asked, "Are ya ok, bud?" "Yes, James. I am fine now. But being with you alone is better for me..." James raised his head from the Thai youth's shoulder in surprise. "You didn't like my parents?" Sakjai still held on, but moved back a little to be able to look James in the eyes earnestly. "Mai chai! No! Really! I like them a lot. They are very nice to me, and they helped me be less...err...afraid." He lowered his eyes a bit at that last word. Leading the Thai boy across the room, James said, "Afraid? Afraid of what? What do you mean?" The two teens seated themselves on the bed once again, arranging themselves facing each other as they had before, with their lower bodies in full contact, and holding both hands in their joined lap. "James, I am afraid of everything here in America. No, not afraid, but, err...alai wah?...umm...well, I think that I am always making mistakes with my English, and I never know what to do or say, and I am not sure what everybody means when they speak. I do not know anything about your food, even to eat with a...fork, chai mai?...yes, fork...I never eat even one time at the school restaurant, because I do not know what to do. I do not know when something will taste the same style like Thai food. I never had any friends here before, nobody to talk to like this, not even one time! My Auntie does not talk to me, and she is never home, and I cannot talk to Nancy. I never even met you before today, and I was very worried about meeting your parents. Parents are not the same here as in Thailand...or, not the same as my parents. So, I am afraid a lot." Sakjai had never spoken so much all at once before, that James could remember. But he finally began to understand what all this must be like for his new friend. "Whoa, Sakjai! I'm really sorry! I didn't understand what you meant before! Jeez, what would it be like for me to be all alone in Thailand, huh? I'd be afraid, too. I wouldn't understand anything either, would I? Shit! This must be awful for you..." He gripped the Thai boy's hands tighter, and tried to convey concern with his eyes and his body language. "Yes, James. Now you can understand more a little bit about me." "Is that why you're sad, then?" James spoke softly, not wanting to bring up something too delicate, but at the same time, wanting to know everything he could about his new friend. His new love, as he reminded himself right then, as well. Sakjai reflected before he spoke. Not only to get the English sorted in his head, but to remind himself what he'd already told James, and what he was still afraid to reveal. "James, I am sad about many things. Yes, because of all that is new. But also from before. From a long time before." "Oh." James was thinking furiously whether he should press for more details and ask questions or not. Suddenly, he decided to be sensible, and simply said, "Sakjai, can I keep asking you more questions? Or do you want me to shut up or something?" "You can ask, sure, please. I can ask questions about you, also, James?" The Thai youth cocked his head a bit in that delightful way he had. James wasn't sure what Sakjai was feeling, but decided to go for it. "Umm, sure, I guess...umm...it wouldn't be fair if I asked all the questions, would it? So, you have questions, too?" He was nervous, of course, but he was always nervous. At least this was a normal kind of anxiety. "Yes, James! We are new friends. Nanohn, of course, we must ask questions and tell each other about...what there is...in our hearts...Chai mai?" "Chai." James replied. Honesty. Revealing his heart to somebody because they were friends and wanted to get closer to each other. Wanting to understand and be understood. Such commonplace things, and yet still so new to him. He was spending so much time being amazed and surprised today! "James, are you afraid sometimes?" "Shit, yes! All the time!" That came unconsciously, but totally without any internal censorship. Another surprise for James. "Really? What are you afraid about? You never look afraid to me." "Huh. I don't?" Sakjai simply shook his head no. "Well, I'm afraid of a lot of shit. Umm, like, I'm afraid I'll do something wrong all the time. Ya know?" Sakjai shook his head no again. "Umm, well, I'm afraid right now." "Ching, plaough? I mean, really?!" Sakjai exclaimed. "Afraid now? Why?" He looked around the room for frightening things and back at his new American friend. He hadn't seen anything scary from his point of view, for sure. "Well, umm, I'm a little afraid that I'll say something wrong to you or do something stupid, or something...so maybe you won't like me anymore...not want to be my friend." "Something wrong? To me? But, how? Mai kawjai. I don't understand you, James. What bad thing would I not like about you? I think impossible, for sure." Sakjai looked genuinely puzzled. James had been extraordinarily honest and open so far. And he wanted to take the next step and confess his attraction to the Thai boy. But as he drew breath to speak the words, he choked. So he simply lowered his eyes and his voice somewhat, and said, "Well, I always worry about whether I'm doing something bad or wrong or something. I really do. A lot." "James, you do nothing bad for me. You are my James. My friend. You helped me today. You helped me a lot. More than you know already. Really. You can never be bad for me. Khun kawjai, mai? You understand me, James? Please?" The force of those words, and the certainty in Sakjai's voice as he spoke, brought James out of his internal anxious world again. "Umm, ok, Sakjai. I know I helped you before. I'm really happy I did. That I could. Help, I mean. But, what if I do something from now on that you don't like? Will you tell me? Please?" The Thai boy smiled. And when he smiled, his whole face lit up. For James, that smile lit up the whole room. Then Sakjai said, "Sure, James. I think is impossible for you to do a bad thing to me, but if you want me to say, I will say. If I don't like, I can say I don't like. Nobody has ever asked me these things before. Nobody knows if I like or don't like something. Thank you! Very much! I can do this. No problem." Although his accent turned that last word into something sounding like, "Prom-plem" with the emphasis on the second syllable. To James, it was cute. He repeated it back, the same way. "Ok, Sakjai, no prom-PLEM!" They were grinning like fools at each other now, and moved into a huge hug. They had to lift themselves from their sitting position on the bed to achieve that hug, and it unbalanced them, so they fell over. Luckily the bed was king sized, and they fell in the direction of more bed rather than onto the floor. Un-self-consciously, they stretched out simultaneously, and were lying in each other's arms again. Their legs entwined themselves, wrestling a bit as they did so. The boys giggled as this was all happening. Then they settled into a companionable quiet, resting in each other's arms. James sighed. Sakjai reached across the barely 3 inches that separated their faces, and gave James another sniff-kiss on the cheek. "James, thank you for everything today. Really, from my heart, thank you. I never knew anybody like you before. I love you." It was simply said. But it hit James right between the eyes. James hugged Sakjai even harder to himself than he had been before, if that was possible. He looked his newest and best friend in the eyes, and replied, "Sakjai, umm, you, like, kissed me again. Can I kiss you back?" The Thai boy nodded slightly and so James leaned in and planted one right on Sakjai's lips again. Just like before. Just like that first time before supper. Sakjai smiled contentedly. When he did that, he reminded James of a cat. A Siamese cat. Beautiful, and mysterious. James took another risk and stated, "Sakjai, I really like this. I mean, us together like this. And kissing you. I like it a lot. I think I love you, too." He noticed that his dick was as hard as a rock, and it was pressed right up against Sakjai's crotch. But now he didn't care if the Thai boy noticed or not. In fact, he hoped that it would be noticed. "Good, James. I like it too. Being with you. Holding on. It feels very good. Joop dee, doo-ay." "Huh?" "Oh. Sorry. Joop is kiss. Dee is good. Doo-ay means also. Good kiss, also." "Umm, Sakjai, remember when I asked you about boys kissing before?" The Thai boy nodded affirmatively. "Well. You said that it isn't...umm, usual, for boys to umm, like kiss each other, in Thailand, the same as here. Chai mai?" The Thai boy nodded again, not even noticing that the American boy used the Thai phrase so effortlessly. "So, umm, why do we like kissing? Each other I mean. We're both boys..." "I don't know, James. I just know I like it with you. And I also like to give to you because I think you like the same as me. I want to give you something you like!" Sakjai spoke simply and sincerely. Which was good news to James, of course, but wasn't really helpful in figuring out the bigger picture. So James tried again... "But you kissed me first. Have you, umm, like, kissed any other boys before?" "Mai coy, James. I never have before. Girls the same---never. Have you?" "Just my Dad, and relatives, and stuff. Never any boys my age before. Never with a girl, either. But I like it with you..." "Good." And with that, Sakjai leaned over and gave James another sniff-kiss. And James couldn't help himself. He moved slightly so Sakjai was kept in that position, and at the same time, the American boy ground his pelvis into Sakjai's crotch. And groaned softly. And kissed the Thai boy on the lips again. This time, he allowed his tongue to slip from between his lips and try to insert itself between those of the boy he loved. Another first for him... The Thai youth broke the contact in surprise, and asked, "What you do?" It was out of curiosity. There was no alarm in his question. But James was suddenly very self-conscious and ashamed of himself. He flushed beet red in reaction. "I'm sorry! That was bad...I shouldn't have tried...I mean, now you know...now you'll think that..." and burst into tears. Sakjai was certainly alarmed now! But not at the attempted tongue kiss. "James, what is it? Why do you cry?" He was concerned for his friend, and really didn't understand what this sudden turn of events was all about! All he could think of to do was to bring James back into a full embrace, as the American youth attempted to pull away. James was sure that Sakjai was already disgusted at his behavior, and so was shocked when he felt Sakjai pull him back. It made him gulp a deep breath as he continued to weep. "I'm really really sorry, Sakjai!" "But why, James? Because we kissed? I am not sorry about that!" "But, I tried...I wanted to... I don't...I..." And the water works started again. Sakjai was very good at remembering small details of body language and such. He had tried to observe everything he could, all his life. So he could learn from it. Nobody had ever helped explain things to him before, even in his life previous to coming to the States. So he was able to think back to the exact moment when James had become upset. He kept the weeping American boy hugged close to his body as he thought, and then he made a decision. Sakjai pulled James's crying face out of his own damp shoulder, and planted one of James's style kisses (which, he had noticed, were quite different from Thai kisses) right smack on James's lips. James's eyes popped wide open in shock. Then the Thai youth moved his tongue to James's lips. Just as James had done a few moments before. James stopped breathing. But his lips opened a little in response. Sakjai presumed that meant he was doing well, although he really had no idea what was supposed to happen next. But, happily, reflex took over for one of them at least. James sucked Sakjai's tongue into his mouth, and began to feel its texture with his own. Sakjai let out something like a bird's chirp as this happened, but it was a pleasurable kind of surprised sound. Since the two boys were already hugging practically every square inch of their bodies together, it didn't look like they melted together. But that's how it felt. Four hands moved and stroked and caressed softly all over the exposed parts of both bodies. James finally got to touch Sakjai's perfect buns. Well, more like kneaded them, actually. Sakjai chirped again, although it was beginning to sound more like a cat purring. Sakjai found James's ears, and the nape of his neck, and stroked them ever so lightly with his fingertips. James moaned louder. Both boys noticed how complex it was becoming to breath and maintain their lip-lock at the same time. Especially since they were now taking turns trying to swallow each other's tongues. But they did have to breathe, which forced them to break their longest kiss ever. Sakjai was still feather-touching James's neck and face. He said, "James, you stopped crying already?" "Yeah. You got me to stop! Wow...." "Yes, James...Wow is a good word right now. What WAS that we did? Joop, mai? Was that a kiss?" "Yeah, Sakjai, I think that would have to be officially called a real kiss, no shit!" "Joop dee Maak, loei!! It was more than good. It was, err...very good good good!" And with that, a sort of floodgate of feelings crashed open inside the Thai boy. He had never paid much attention to any sexual feelings he had ever experienced before. They simply hadn't made themselves noticeable to him really. Emotions like love or even horniness had always been muffled under a blanket of isolation, distance, and depression. Nobody had ever gotten close enough to the Thai youth emotionally or physically to ignite the latent fires within him. So it was that Sakjai surprised even himself as he initiated another marathon tongue kiss, James's head held in his two hands. He had never in his entire life felt any need as urgent as the one he felt to keep doing this with James. It was over-powering to James on the receiving end, too! Sakjai had been so quiet, so sad, so soft seeming. But now, all of a sudden, James found that the Thai youth had pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him. Sakjai planted his knees on either side of his new friend, at about the level of his waist, and leaned into James, pushing his tongue down the American boy's throat. James was trying to suck great gasps of air into his lungs, but it was difficult. His heart was pounding. Sakjai was humming continually now in the back of his throat. It was a sound that neither of them had heard before. What seemed like about an hour later, (but was really of course only a few minutes!) Sakjai pushed himself up onto his arms, still maintaining his position on top of James. James felt like a limp noodle. Well, at least most of him did. His dick was still a rod of iron down below. But his arms were flung out to the sides of the bed. He had been trying to grab the bedclothes, the pillows, anything, but had just ended up flailing his arms around in ecstasy as the Thai boy well and truly kissed him to a fair-thee-well. Sakjai studied the effects of his handiwork. "James, was that correct? Was that what you tried to do to me with this...(and stuck the tip of his tongue out at James playfully)...before...when I was trying to ask what you were doing?" "Umm, well, sorta...But I really had no idea it was going to be like that!" "For me the same! Amazing! (again, he made it sound like 2 words: 'amay---ZING!') Schorp, mai? You like?" "Schorp. I like...Truly amazing. For sure..." James replied, still trying to catch his breath. "Good. Dee-jai mahk...I am happy that you like it too." And with that, he pushed himself over onto his side, pulling the now pliant, and compliant, James into their full body hug once more. "Sakjai, I don't think guys are supposed to like this so much. I mean, I knew I would like it. But I never thought that you...I mean...that anybody...I mean, umm..." and his voice trailed off into pensive silence. "Is this what you were afraid of with me, James? Why were you afraid of this with me before? Is that why you were crying?" James tried not to be distracted by Sakjai's resumption of the feathery caresses of his neck and back, and yes, his own butt as well. Here he was, in the arms of the boy he had just been kissed by, and this gorgeous youth was playing with HIS butt. Jesus Christ! And he had always imagined that he'd be the one that would have to do all that stuff. In his fantasies, he had never dared hope that somebody might want to take the active role with him as much as he wanted to with another. "Umm, yeah... I was afraid that you would get freaked out when you found out I'm...umm, like, well...gay." He was sort of getting used to being shocked by the things he'd been able to say out loud today. But this one took the cake, it really did. "James, are you gay?" Sakjai looked surprised, although not upset. Which was just a tad confusing to James, especially right after the Big Kiss! Although the American youth's fears were forgotten for the moment. James propped himself up on one elbow as he thought of how he could answer this seemingly obvious question. "Well, duh! Of course I'm gay. I just felt the most perfect feelings ever, when I was being kissed by a boy! I've been trying to touch you all afternoon! I was always looking at you at school, from that very first day. Which was May 16th, by the way, chai mai? (The Thai boy nodded affirmatively.) All that is cuz I think you're so awesome looking! I followed you home from school lottsa times, so I already know where your house is. I think about you all the time, I wonder what you're doing at night and on the weekends. I'm all hard right now, and I'm on my bed hugging you and I love it! I accidentally slipped and told my Mom that you're cute. I love holding your hand. I never want you to go home. I wanna do...umm, more stuff...with you. So I think that qualifies me as a 100% gay person. I'm not even bi, cuz I have never thought about wanting to, ummm, well, you know...with a girl... What did you think when I wanted to really kiss you, with my tongue, I mean?" He hadn't fainted himself when he'd come out to the Thai boy, and now here he was laying it all right out there in full view. And he felt like he had to talk the boy he loved into believing that he was gay. None of this had ever been part of any of the fantasies of his romantic musings or his solo erotic activities! All the while James had been speaking, Sakjai had been concentrating very hard to understand everything that was cascading out of James at such an anxiety-driven rate. At the same time, his hands unconsciously continued stroking the American youth's hair and neck and up and down his back. Possibly this had been part of how James had found the nerve to spill his guts like this. "But James, you do not look gay to me. You look like a man, for sure! How can this be?" Again, just a clarification question, not disgusted or alarmed. "Whaddaya mean, I don't look gay?! And of course I'm a guy! What do ya mean? What about everything I just told you? What about what we've just been doing, fer Christ's sake? Ya can't always tell just by looking when a guy is gay or not. Thank God!" "James, in Thailand, to say gay means to be the same as a lady. To be looking the same as a lady walks and talks and speaks. Gay, in Thai language, usually means, err...(thinking of how to literally translate the term) 'lady-man'. James, you are not a lady man, chai mai?" "You mean like a fem or something?" Sakjai looked blank. "Sakjai, there are lots of different types of gay people. I don't know much about it, but even I know that much! Some gay men are femmy, a little like a lady or something. I suppose. But lots of effeminate guys aren't gay. Lots of gay guys aren't, like me. At least I hope so. I don't wanna start acting all fem. But trust me, I'm pretty gay. I only ever liked guys." "I think I understand, James. You are a gay king. You are not really gay, like you said before, because you are a man. A man who likes other men is called a gay king. A lady-man is also called a gay queen. In Thailand, it is not the same." "I'm a gay, umm, king because I don't act effeminate? But I'd be a gay queen if I did? But, that doesn't make sense! Gay is gay, right? Don't gay kings and gay queens...I can't believe I'm talking about all this...don't all gay kings and gay queens like to be with guys? Here in the States, we call all of them---all of us---gay. Just plain gay." "Ah, James, maybe Thailand is different about this. I never think, I mean, I never thought this before. Gay is gay, all the same. Hmm. But gay king and gay queen like some different things, err, about sex." "Different things about sex? Whaddaya mean, different?" What the hell, James thought, let it all hang out. He doesn't seem to think I'm weird. He's just trying to figure out what to call me. Huh. "Different things. Gay queens like, err, umm, I do not know the words for these things very much, sorry. Usually gay queens like the man to be inside..." "Inside? How do you mean?" "James, inside down here." And with that, Sakjai patted James's bottom suggestively. And then rubbed it. "Oh!" was all that James could manage to say right at that moment. But Sakjai was enjoying this lesson. "And James, gay kings in Thailand usually like to put it, err, inside...down here...At least I think so." And kept rubbing James's butt. It would have been very difficult to determine which of them was enjoying it more. "Oh!" James was still far from being his old talkative self. "James, do you understand me? I am not sure about my English. In Thai language, we talk about this as 'Yet toot'. This is not polite slang. But I have never talked about this before, in Thai the same!" Uh oh. New Thai words to remember in the middle of all this openness and honesty? Concentrate, dude! "Yet toot?" "Yes, James. 'Yet' means to put it inside. 'Toot' is Thai slang for down here..." patting James on the tush again, for emphasis. "Riiiight... 'Yet' means fucking. 'Toot' is the word for my butt? My butt's my toot?" He couldn't help it. He giggled again. "Yes, James. Is this a funny word in English?" "Yeah, well, a little! Toot, toot!" and shoved his crotch into Sakjai's. Not only funny, but fun, too. "I won't have any trouble remembering that word, will I? Toot...yet? Fucking is yet?" "Yes, James. Oh! There is this same word in English, chai mai? Yet. Not yet. Already. NOT. YET!" And he started giggling himself. James understood what the Thai boy was getting at, and laughs filled the room. "Not yet, please, not yet! Not yet in the toot, sir! Yet, mai? No! Not yet!" Their voices intermingled in delight. And then they wound down again, the stress of the moments before released in sweet peals of adolescent mirth. It was Sakjai who brought them back to the topic again. "So, James, you understand what I mean?" "Yeah, well...I never talked about it much myself, ya know, but yeah. I think I get it. You're saying that Thai people think that gay kings like to, umm, fuck, and gay queens like to, umm, get fucked down there. In the 'toot'. Right?" "Fucking, yes. That is the meaning of 'yet'. This is a proper polite word?" "NO! NOT, for sure. Slang, not polite like you said. It's fine by me with just us talking together. But don't say it at supper time with my parents, ok?" Through the strangeness of the moment, James had to giggle again at the image of Sakjai discussing 'fucking' with his folks... "Thank you for explaining to me, James. I always want to be polite with your parents! So, what about you? You like fucking like a gay king? You are not a gay queen, so I think you not enjoy putting, umm, something inside down here?" He had been stroking and kneading James's bottom the whole time. Oh, God, James thought. Then he realized that he had nothing to think, 'Oh God...' about! "Sakjai, I really don't know! I never thought about doing that. Never thought about anybody doing that to me, either. What if I like them both? Or neither of them? I'm pretty sure everybody can't be classified like this." Now Sakjai was confused. "I heard before one time a combination word. For when somebody likes both. Not king, not queen, but 'quing' You understand? A combination of king and queen is quing. I never think about somebody gay not enjoy something about fucking. James, how can you be gay? Gay means you want something about fucking, chai mai? Oh...James, maybe I don't know enough about all this. Maybe other Thai people understand these things much better than I do!" "Yeah, Sakjai. Maybe what you're talking about is like some sort of stereotype. Lots of Americans say, 'Gay guys are all like this or that'. But my Mom and Dad say that stereotypes are wrong, because they are too general. Sure, some things might be true about some gay people most of the time. But everybody must be different about what they like and don't like. I don't think it's a requirement to just like fucking. I read in a book once that sex should just feel good to both people. Whatever they do, technically speaking, I mean. So I think there must be gay guys that don't like 'yet toot'. I'm not sure what I want, I never done anything before except kiss you! I do think about other things. I just never thought about fucking before. Really! But I always think about guys, though. That makes me gay. At least, I'm pretty sure." Sakjai had missed big pieces of what James had just said. But he didn't really feel like getting up and finding the dictionary right then, either! So he hoped he didn't look too confused as he said, "You never want to be fucking with girls?" "Nope. Never thought about it. Never did it. Never will want to, I'm pretty sure. And that's not just fucking. I don't even wanna kiss a girl like I did with you." "So, you say you are gay, but not about 'yet toot'. You like kissing for sure. Me, too! What else do you think about, then?" "Umm...well, I think about, umm, like, lots of things..." And moved his eyes away from Sakjai's for the first time in ages, blushing blood red to his roots. Sakjai pulled James into himself. Hard. And said, "James, please do not be afraid to tell me these things. I want to know. I need to know also!" James blinked and his focus returned to Sakjai. "You need to know about what I think about...umm, sex stuff? Really?" "Yes, really. I need to know for myself also." "For yourself? How do you mean, Sakjai?" "You say you never think about these things before. But you say you think about me a lot! I never think about these things before, also. Only one time. Now, with you." "Huh?" James was too busy trying to keep up with the conversation to worry about being profound. "James, you say you are gay. But you do not think about gay king and gay queen the same as me. You just said 'gay is gay'. You think a lot about being with me. But you don't think about fucking. Chai mai?" "Chai..." "So, James, what about me? What am I? I never think about anything with anybody. I never think about fucking, ever, not even one time. Even when my friends in Thailand talked about it. I never think about anything sex. Only when we...joop.... Just now... So, what about me? Am I gay like you? Gay like a Thai gay king or gay queen? I want to know! I want to know why I like kissing you, too!" These were such simple questions. Why did neither of them know the answers? "Sakjai, you mean to tell me you never think about sex?!" "No, James. Not usually." "But, I thought... I mean, everybody thinks about sex. I don't get it! I think about it all the time!" "So can you please tell me, James, what about sex do you think all the time? Maybe this is something I can learn." There wasn't any other way around this. James had already trusted Sakjai with more of himself than anybody else knew. He knew he wanted to become closer still. So he decided to keep revealing more. "I think about it when I umm, well, when I, you know?" And with that he made the seemingly universal up and down motion indicating masturbation. Sakjai observed the hand motions, and indeed understood what James was referring to. "James, you chuck wao?" "Chuck wao is..." (up and down motion again). "Yes, James. You do this?" "Yeah, I do. Doesn't everybody? I thought everybody does that. Don't tell me you don't do that either!" "I do, James. Sometimes. Not often. And you?" "Well, what's not often? I'm a little shy about this, ya know! How often is not often? Like, not every day?" "Every day, James? No! Maybe in two or three weeks, one time. Sometimes when I shower, it wakes up. Sometimes when I am in my bed. My friends in Bangkok say they do this much more often than me, chai mai? To me, it never seems like a lot of fun. A little bit, sometimes, but not a lot. I never did it in America, not even one time." "Huh. You REALLY don't think it's a lot of fun! You been here a month already, too. Jeez, I sure do. Think it's fun, I mean. I don't know what life'd be like if I couldn't at least do that to brighten things up a little. I can't even begin to imagine not doing it for a month! I'm an everyday guy." And looked away from Sakjai in embarrassment again. "You chuck wao every day?! Really? When?" "In the morning when I wake up. In the afternoon when I get home from school. At night here in bed." "But, James, which time is most usual for you? When is it the most fun?" "All of them, actually. Almost all of them, almost everyday. They're all fun. Jeez, how could it not be fun for you? Maybe you're not doing it right or something..." James had a flash image of teaching him how to make it more fun, and blushed again. But Sakjai didn't notice that. He was still busy being astonished. "James! Two or three times in every day?" The Thai boy couldn't quite believe it. "Yeah. Do ya think that's too much? I never got to talk to anybody about it before..." "James, you must be sooo strong!" "Huh?" "If you can 'chuck wao' so often, you are very strong! I am sure that I cannot do it so much." "Strong? I thought it was a sign of weakness or something. They teach that in my church, anyhow." "Weak? How can you be weak when you can do that so often? Not weak, for sure!" "Sakjai, I don't mean weak like that. I mean, what if it's a bad thing to do it so much? What if we aren't supposed to do it? Maybe you're the strong one cuz you don't do it very much..." "You think so? I do not think so. I think it's OK. If you like it. You like it, and you say it is fun, chai mai?" "Yeah, I like it..." "Good. If you like it, and it does not hurt yourself, why not enjoy it?" "But you don't do it that much, and my church says..." "James, I don't do it often, because I don't think about it very much. It is not so much fun for me, maybe. Perhaps you think about it more because you are strong. I don't understand your Christian church. For Buddhists, the monks do not chuck wao, and they cannot have sex. But for everybody else, it is usual, I think. And maybe I do not think about it enough..." "I try not to pay too much attention to my church about sex stuff. My parents say the same thing, so I think that's ok. It's really hard to find out about stuff like this. So it's difficult to be really certain. But I sure never think of myself as strong because I do it a lot..." "You ARE strong! You are my James! I could hold on this afternoon, because you are so strong. I am happy to have such a strong new friend. And you joop---kiss, very strong, too! That was fun. More fun than anything for me before. You gave me something new. I like it a lot." And it was Sakjai's turn to blush now. "I made it that good for you, really? I thought you were pretty good at it yourself! So can I do it again, now that you know I'm gay and all?" He looked hopeful. James giggled. "Of course! You already did it before, when I didn't know. And I still want to know about myself. Something more fun, please! Can you help me, sir?" That last was said in a playfully childish way, and James laughed, too. But then, all of a sudden, they weren't laughing anymore. Sakjai rolled onto his back, and pulled James on top of him, evidently wanting the American youth to take command this time around. So James did. And he wasn't anxious about himself for a change. He was eager to please Sakjai. He started slow and gentle. But he had to whisper, "Sakjai, close your eyes. I have a surprise for you." Dutifully, the eyes shut tight. Although they twitched a bit when James started kissing them. And as he did that, he copied what Sakjai had been doing to him...the feathery light finger-tip stroking of the Thai boy's ears and the sides of his neck. Sakjai made a surprised chirping noise, followed by a muffled giggle as James moved from his eyes and started kissing that cute Thai button nose. Then back up to his forehead. Sakjai's face was pretty moist by then, but James heard no complaints, and those Thai eyes remained contentedly shut. James then moved his tongue to where his left hand had just been playing gently at Sakjai's ear. He softly licked around the rim of that ear, and the skin behind it. Sakjai shivered underneath James's body. Then, as James stuck his tongue right into the center of Sakjai's ear, the Thai boy gasped, "Oh! James..." James whispered, "Fun?" and continued the tongue bath, moving down the side of Sakjai's neck as far as the collar of his light blue shirt. Sakjai had started to mumble something affirmative when the tongue began its downward slide. So his voice went up an octave, and all he could manage was a strangled, "Ah..." The Thai boy threw his arms around James's body as it hovered above his own on the bed. Up and down lightly, James continued to move his tongue on Sakjai's neck, and back up behind his ear. Once in a while, he dove into that ear again. Sakjai began a quiet keening sound down deep in his throat, and his grip on James tightened. Then he moved back over to kiss him on the mouth. Sakjai immediately sent his tongue probing urgently into James's. It was James's turn for a pleased "Ghaaah!" But he didn't break contact. He returned to the tongue duel, pleased that he was making this fun for Sakjai, and more than excited for himself, too. James moved to the other side of Sakjai's face, and repeated the same delightful procedure that he'd just used. The tiny hairs on Sakjai's arms all stood on end, and his body bucked under James. So the American youth ground his hardened dick downward. The excitement came for both of them in waves. James's tongue became more forceful and ardent, moving down to bathe Sakjai's Adam's Apple and underneath his chin. There was no beard at all, James noticed. No stubble, nothing. A completely hairless face and chin. He loved it. Sakjai was arching his whole back in an effort to give more of his skin area to James's tongue. His head was pointed backward, the moans escaping his lips coming louder and more softly in turn, as James moved his tongue around. James used Sakjai's volume to gauge where he was doing the most good for Sakjai, and concentrated on those places! Then James stopped, and simply planted a dry kiss on Sakjai's partly opened mouth. Sakjai whimpered a little in protest, and lifted his head toward James, ready for another lip-lock. But James just leaned back slightly and smiled down at his prey. "Ya like that, Sakjai?" In response, the Thai boy lurched his groin up into James's, as he tried for another kiss. James resisted the urge to give in immediately, and moved his fingers up to where his tongue and lips had just been playing. He pushed his hardened crotch down against Sakjai's. The Thai youth groaned as his own hips thrust upward again in turn. James's "Hmmm...?" was both playful and excited at the same time. And then James whispered, "I think you DO like that, Sakjai. You like this, too, huh?" And moved his hard dick around in a circle on Sakjai's crotch. There was something UP down there as well, now. "Ahhh, James...schorp...schorp mach.... Hmmm...! I cannot think...in mmmmph...English.... Now...Ohhhh...!" The last moan had been disappointed sounding, because James had raised himself pretty much completely off the body underneath him. Sakjai's middle spazmed upward twice more, trying to re-establish that delightful pressure down there. Then he collapsed into himself, his eyes still closed, just as they had been the entire time. He was panting. He was sweating. It looked to James like the Thai youth was having fun... James then surprised himself by running one open hand down the form beneath him, moving with certainty down the shirtfront to the waist, and then lower. He gently grabbed onto the hard-on now evident under Sakjai's blue khaki pants. He felt over the form of it, from its head to the root. He squeezed it, and it jumped under his touch. Sakjai moaned louder, and pushed upward against the hand. The movement settled into a gentle rhythm, James on his side again facing Sakjai's prostrate body as it moved under his control. Then he leaned over and suckled the side of Sakjai's neck a little as he made an enquiring sound. Sakjai's body pushed up against James's hand down below and against that delightfully torturing tongue before he opened his eyes and looked at James. His violet eyes were smoldering with newly awakened passion as he gazed into the brown eyes next to him. A huge shuddering sigh escaped his lips as he attempted to put feelings into any words at all, let alone English. It was difficult to think, with James's hand still holding his erection as it was. "James...James...more! Please..." was all he could say at the moment. He tried to pull the American on top of him again, but James was enjoying being in charge right then. He smiled and raised his eyebrows, squeezing Sakjai's erection again, and thumbing the head under the layers of cloth. Sakjai groaned again, and bit his lower lip in pleasure. "Mmmmm?" was all James said, and squeezed again. Sakjai's member gave off another excited shudder under James's hand. Then the Thai boy put one of his hands over James's, not to remove it, but to quiet it, to hold it still for the moment. "Oh, James...! I never..." He blinked twice, trying to focus his thoughts. Then he swallowed, and tried again. "James, I never...think that this is sooooo good!" He squeezed the hand that was squeezing his hard-on. "See why I like to 'chuck wao' a lot?" He gave the Thai youth a wicked grin. "Mmmm...! James, is this how you feel when you do that?" James laughed. "No, you idiot! I can't lick my own ear, now can I? But I love thinking about it! I wanna think about all the possible ways to make somebody feel good...somebody like you..." The voice was tender, and filled with wonder. "Sakjai, what do you think about when you chuck wao?" "Think about? Nothing. I don't think about anything. Nothing like this, anyway... This is amazing...I never knew about my neck, my ear, what you did..." And he lightly stroked his own face and neck, where James's tongue and lips had just been. And moved his hips side to side a little. "Really, Sakjai? How can you not think about anything at all when you do it?" He started to lightly move his fingertips up and down the length of Sakjai's hard dick, which pulsed in time to his heartbeat. Sakjai found his hips moving in response to James's fingers. He lifted his head for a moment to watch his own crotch lift itself and try to follow the fingers. "No, James, I never think about anything like this. But now I will...ohhhh!" And his head fell back onto the pillow, his eyes shutting again in pleasure. James decided to make another one of his fantasies real. He moved his body around slightly, so it was angled away from Sakjai's. And lowered his head into Sakjai's crotch. He looked up towards the Thai boy's face, and it appeared that he was listening to Sakjai's dick underneath his ear. But he wasn't, of course. He moved his head around a little, just rubbing on the front of Sakjai's pants. Sakjai raised his head again, to see what James was doing now. Another groan escaped his lips as his head flopped again back to the pillow. He was James's prisoner. James immediately moved one hand upward and stroked Sakjai's face, lips, and eyes. Softly, softly, but the reaction wasn't soft. Sakjai's murmuring voice sounded urgent and a little frustrated as he tried to kiss the fingers moving around his face. James allowed one finger---his pinky---to be grabbed between the Thai boy's lips. Sakjai explored the finger with his tongue for a moment before James withdrew it again. Sakjai's crotch bucked upwards against the side of James's face in protest. James just smiled and softly said, "Poor baby...." And then James gently moved his exploring hand down Sakjai's neck, which arched in pleasure. But the hand kept moving lower. To the top button of Sakjai's light cotton short-sleeved shirt. He undid the button. The Thai boy's voice was quiet but intense as he asked, "James, what you do now?" James replied, "Something fun. You just relax, relax..." And the hand moved down to the next button, and the next. The last button above Sakjai's waist was right at James's face level. He could see the Thai youth's abs scrunch themselves reflexively as he gently pulled the shirt from where it had been so neatly tucked into the pants. He pulled, and Sakjai tried to help by raising himself, which pushed his groin more powerfully against the side of James's face pressing against it. The shirt came free from the restraining pants, and Sakjai's body flopped back down onto the bed as James finished un-buttoning it. He spread it wide open to either side of Sakjai's body, like he was unwrapping a gift. He could see the hairless chest rising and falling as Sakjai's breath heaved in and out of his lungs. The first thing James noticed was that all of the skin he'd just exposed was entirely hairless. Not even anything in the Thai boy's armpits. James then noticed the two nipples up there, hardened and pointy looking. He moved his hand up from where it had been resting on Sakjai's newly revealed abdomen, and gently tweaked the left nipple. A surprised "Ah!" was heard. James moved his hand to the other nipple, flicking his fingertips over the hardened tip. "Ahhhh...! James..." The Thai's entire body seemed to writhe under James's touch, as his hands now both roved here and there, all over that beautiful torso. The skin was sooo soft. Both nipples received a lot of attention, and Sakjai lurched to and fro under James's light but forceful touch. He seemed almost electrified by those touches. "Ohhhh...! Ahhhhh...! Hmmm." His pelvis thrust itself against James's head again and again. James couldn't help himself, and buried his face in Sakjai's crotch. He breathed in the faint odor of young teenaged boy, and opened his mouth slightly against the cloth layered between his lips and the hard dick he wanted so much to feel. He began to move his mouth up and down the material covering that erection, faster and faster, never once slowing his hand movements up above. He was moaning to himself now, too. Sakjai's body seemed out of his own control. He thrust himself against the hands and the face bringing him such delight. His own hands moved with James's, sometimes exploring himself in a way he never had before. And then he suddenly grabbed James's hands in his own, trying to hold them still. His eyes flew wide open, and his moans turned into gasps. He thrust himself rapidly and urgently against James's mouth. His whole body arched and every muscle seemed to writhe in ecstasy. He came. Sakjai's orgasm was nothing like he had ever given himself. He was astonished and carried away on the tidal wave of feelings that radiated from his groin and his nipples to every extremity of his body. His hard-on expanded under the restraint of his pants and briefs, and James could feel the jets of semen flood the crotch under him. He buried his face in it, glorying in the moans of pleasure from above, and the spasms beneath. Hot liquid seeped through both layers of cloth, and James added his own saliva to it. It seemed like forever in an instant, before Sakjai's body stopped jerking and his heaving gasps turned to soft sighs. James felt the body beneath him slowly begin to relax. He kept gently moving his cheek and lips against the wet spot he had helped create. Sakjai's hands both moved down to rest themselves on James's head in his groin. "Ohhh, James....mmmmm...." Goose bumps began to form all over Sakjai's frame, and he heaved another sigh. This time it was contentment. His fingers played almost absently with James's hair, stroking it. His dick gave one last turgid shudder. Yet another sigh. This one from James. Sakjai could feel the warmth of the breath against his now-softening penis. The Thai boy pulled James up along side him again. They smiled into each other's eyes. James raised his eyebrows again, asking an unspoken question. Sakjai's smile turned tender for a moment in reply. Then the Thai smile turned a little wicked, too. "James?" he asked. "Hmmm?" "What you do to me, hmmm?" and pushed one of the American boy's hands back into his sopping middle. James rubbed softly, but didn't answer. Just raised his eyebrows again at his new love. "Oh, James...." "Hmmmm?" again. "James, I think now you must give me a bath!" James's eyes sparkled as his smile turned into a huge grin. End of Part 09 "Holding On For Dear Life" By alienist_hk@yahoo.com I hope you enjoyed reading this installment of the story as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please do write and let me know what you think. 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