Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2000 12:48:04 PST
From: Luke
Subject: joshua-22

Disclaimer:

Don't read this if underage or upset by teenage boys doing sex stuff,
etc...  This is fiction. But hopefully someday the better parts of this
will be fact.  Thanks to nifty for posting it.


				 Joshua 22


I sat in the hospitals waiting area, waiting for mine, Tom's and Jason's
parents to arrive and well I guess the police too. I was basically all
alone, well except for the occasional nurse who would come up and ask if I
was ok, but the waiting was driving me out of my mind, I wish the doctors
would come and tell me if they where ok, they wouldn't tell me anything
right now. I looked around me at the pure white sterile conditions, then I
looked down to my clothes, all red and bloody, I cringed when I thought
about where it came from. I felt myself wanting to cry again so I placed my
face in my hands and tried my best not to, I was very unsuccessful, tears
poured out of my eyes like little rivers, and questions about why this
happened flowed through my mind.

"Josh?" I jumped for high heaven when I felt a hand on my arm; I turned
around to see Alex stood there. I leaped up and hugged him hard and started
crying again, I felt his warm arms wrap around me and hug me tight as he
started stroking my back. "Josh? What's wrong are you ok? What's happened?
Is Tom all right? Did you ring Jason and tell him to come too? I know he
would want to be here he really likes you guys" that last statement made me
cry even more, when I had called Alex to come down I had left out the
reason hoping that an adult would be here to tell him about what has
happened, I knew if I was to tell him I'd break down crying. Already my
insides felt like jelly. But I knew I had to tell him, I took a deep breath
and steadied myself and took Alex's hand in my own and squeezed it for all
it was worth trying to get every bit of strength I could out of him.

"Jason is..." he butted in...damn it he spoilt my flashback.

"Josh you're hurting me" huh? I looked to see Alex trying to get my hand of
his.

"Sorry, anyway I'll start from the beginning..." I could already feel my
eyes getting teary again.



"Please Josh I'm sorry, what me and Alex tried to do was totally wrong,
please we just wanted to show our appreciation to you the only way we knew
how, I'm so sorry I don't want to loose my only true friend you have done
so much for us.  Please forgive me...please?" he pleaded with me. I would
have answered yes but I didn't have time. Everything happened so quickly, I
heard a screeching of tires and a scream from Tom as Jason grabbed me and
spun me around.

*BANG* a loud gunshot pieced the air.

I quickly opened my eyes to see what was going on, I was lying on my back
looking up at the pretty blue sky, I didn't remember how I'd gotten on the
floor. I felt a tremendous weight on me as I tried to move, I realised it
was Jason. I looked towards the road and saw Tom lying a few feet away. His
body looked twisted and a little pool of blood was forming around his head,
I found out later that he had been run-over by the car. I almost gagged for
that split second I thought he was dead, the only person I truly ever loved
I thought was dead, but than I noticed his chest slowly rising. To see him
breathing sent a tremendous feeling of relief throughout my body. Right at
that moment I had to get to Tom I had to make sure he was all right. I
tried to move Jason off me, it didn't occur to me at the time why he wasn't
moving, until I felt the warm sticky felling which was slowly making it's
cold way around my body, then I realised he had spun me around so he was in
front, he had taken the bullet for me.

"Jason?" I could feel the tears welling up inside me. I rolled him off me
and onto his back; I looked down to see my whole body covered in his
blood. "Oh god Jason? DAMN IT SPEAK TO ME!" I yelled at him hoping he would
wake up and be ok, I slapped him gently on the side of his face. His eyes
flickered open and I thanked the lord. He coughed slightly, brining up a
mouthful of blood. Tears stared flowing freely down my cheeks as he
struggled to breath, the pool of blood beneath him growing bigger by the
minute. I looked from him to my boyfriend in the middle of the road a small
group of people stood around him no one helping just all stood there
looking at my injured boyfriend, I had to choose which to go to, I had a
vague flashback of a dream, a weird feeling of déjà vu, the words
choose echoed through my mind. I went to leave to go to my injured
boyfriend when Jason grabbed my arm holding me back.

"Please don't leave me" he coughed again brining up more blood, I grimaced.
I looked to Tom and at last some people where helping him, so I decided to
stay with Jason. I looked to the small hole in Jason's chest, the blood
slowly gushing out of the open wound. I took a deep breath and placed my
hand over the wound and pressed hard hoping to stop the blood, my hands
alone weren't strong enough so I kneeled on the wound using my body weight
to slow the blood flow, he gritted his teeth in pain.

"Your going to be alright, you hear me? Jason your not getting out off this
so easy we still have many arguments to get in" my voice was shaky and
filled with sorrow, if the ambulance didn't come soon he wouldn't make
it. I didn't know how Tom was doing and it was killing me inside.

"Josh..." he coughed brining more blood up, it streamed over his cheeks,
and pooled at either side of his head. "I want you to tell Alex I love
him..."

"Please Jason don't talk like this, you're going to be ok, you can tell him
yourself ok?" I stroked his cheek slowly, I could hardly get that sentence
out I was crying so much; a lump had formed in my throat as big as Jason's
left testicle.

"Please Josh (cough) just promise me ok?" he arched his back in pain as he
struggled to pull in that breath.

"I promise" I heard the ambulance's siren in the background. "Jason the
ambulance is coming, see your going to be ok" he tried to smile but he was
overcome with pain and it turned into a grimace.

"One more thing Josh, look after him for me...please? (Cough) and you and
Tom look after each other ok? `Cause..." he coughed again.

"Oh no you don't you bastard, your not going to leave me hanging, I want to
know what you're going to say now not when you get out of the hospital" he
laughed slightly but again was overcome with pain.

"Because Joshua I (cough) love you both so much" I had to look away from
him, I couldn't look at him, I knew if I did I'd totally breakdown and I
had to be strong. I looked back at him and he was crying, the tears made
there way down and mixed with the blood around his head.

"I love you too" I quietly whispered as I leant forward and gave him a
gentle kiss on his lips.

"Josh I don't want to die" he totally broke down in tears, I couldn't help
but follow.

"You wont" I felt the paramedic roughly push me out the way as he started
to work on Jason, they put an oxygen mask over his face and I gripped his
hand tightly, he watched me intently as though it was the last time he
would be seeing me. I looked over to see some paramedics loading Tom on to
a stretcher.

"Go to him" I looked back to Jason as he let my hand go.

"But..."

"GO NOW! See you soon..." I didn't waste anytime I raced over to the
ambulance and just got there in time to see them loading Tom inside. One of
the paramedics stopped me from jumping in the back.

"Jesus Christ your covered in blood are you ok?" he asked, looking me up
and down for any wounds.

"I'm fine, I have to come in this ambulance, he's my friend please!" I
pleaded with the man and he eventually let me jump in the back. The doors
closed and the ambulance when speeding off towards the hospital. I sat
there with my eyes closed, too afraid to open them and look at what state
my boyfriend was in.  I summoned up all my courage and opened my eyes, I
had to blink once or twice to clear the tears, and then it all came into
focus. There on the stretcher was Tom his head in what looked like a vice,
to stop it from moving; his forehead was covered in a bloody bandage. He
wasn't awake, his arm and leg looked broken, basically because they were
bent funny.

"Why isn't he awake?" I asked the paramedic who was watching over Tom.

"He's had a nasty bump to the head" I closed my eyes again and rested my
head in my blood soaked hands and started to cry.




"...When we got to the hospital they rushed them both into surgery, and
took me to get cleaned up a little and then here to wait...oh and I called
everyone" I had just finished telling Alex what had happened, he was sat
with his face in his hands, his whole body wracked with tremors as he
seemed to let all his tears go at one time. I moved close to him and hugged
him letting him rest his head on my chest, I closed my eyes, I couldn't cry
anymore, I felt that familiar emotionless void envelope me, any and all
feelings had been sapped out of me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. I
awoke god knows how many hours later to the sound of a sobbing Alex. I
looked over to see who he was talking too, I think I almost cried again
when I saw Tom's parents grasping each other tightly, my auntie and my mom
looked like they where going to cry too, also there where too middle aged
well to do people there who I guessed was Jason's parents, least now I knew
where Jason got his looks they where both very attractive people. I don't
think there was a dry eye between them all when Alex had finished telling
them what had happened. The two dads stormed off quickly to find a doctor
to get some type of information about there sons. My auntie and my mom
noticed I was awake and came rushing over, they hugged me so tight I
couldn't breath, so tight that they almost squeezed out another tear from
my desert dry eyes, they smothered me in hugs and kisses but I just ignored
them and silently watched Alex hugging Jason's mom. Watching them both cry
into each others arms, I watched as Tom's mom lit up a cigarette with one
of her shaky hands and inhaled deeply. I managed to wriggle out of my moms
grasps and I slowly made my way over too Tom's mom.  She watched silently
as I approached, eyeing me up with each footstep I took. I knew deep down
she blamed me for all of this, I could see it in her eyes.  When I was
close, I leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek and gave her a tight
hug. I think she was a bit surprised at first but then I felt her arms wrap
around me and hug me back, she started to cry again. Hours past like
seconds and still no words on there progress from the doctors, I paced up
and down the waiting room like crazy, every one had segregated to there own
family groups, but we soon where all reunited when a man in a white coat
approached the waiting area. He looked so worn out, I almost felt sorry for
the man as we all surrounded him waiting to hear what he had to say.

"I'm I have some bad news and some very bad news" the doctors tired voice
struck fear into my heart, I dreaded what he was going too say but deep
down I already knew what had happened.

"What's the bad news?" Tom's dad asked breaking the tension; the doctor
slowly rubbed his tired eyes before he spoke again.

"You're the parent's of Thomas Conroy?" he motioned to Tom's parents; the
tension was utterly killing me.

"Yes, is he ok?" they asked in unison, I waited eagerly on the news of my
boyfriend.

"He's doing well, but he isn't out of the woods just yet, that knock to the
head was pretty big blow. I'm afraid your son's in a coma" I held my breath
for what seemed to be like an eternity, I just didn't know what to do or
what to feel, I was so confused. I felt Alex take my hand gently in his as
he awaited news of Jason, but if that was the `not so bad' news I dreaded
to think of what the really bad news was.

"And I'm guessing you're the parents of Jason...umm..." he checked his
noted looking for Jason's last name; his parents cut him off before he
found it.

"Yes, that's us now tell us is our son going to be ok" I felt Alex's grasp
on my hand grow tighter, and I held my breath, the doctor seemed to linger,
searching for the right words.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid there where too many complications, I'm afraid your
son passed away on the operating table" I was almost sick.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alex screamed in pain as he collapsed on the floor. I
watched as Jason's parents crumbled right before my eyes at the news of
there dead son, the dad hung his head low as the mother hid her face in her
hands, the doctor took them off somewhere private to discuss the matter. I
crouched on the floor and hugged Alex tight but I don't think it was doing
any good he was totally destroyed, he was crying like I had never seen
before (not like I had seen him cry before), his heart looked like it had
been totally ripped out. I knew how he felt I couldn't believe he was
really gone. I felt a pain in my chest like I had never experienced before,
it was horrible it slowly made it's way up to my throat where it seemed to
stay as a big lump, I started to cry again. I wanted to be sick so badly; I
wanted so much for Jason to be back, I wanted to tell him I forgive
him. But this was all nothing compared to what Alex was feeling, this was
one of the only people who he loved, I don't know what I would have done if
it was Tom who had died, I know It sounds mean but I was actually thankful
it was Jason who had died and not Tom, I felt so guilty thinking that.

"Alex..." I asked my voice shaking with the tears and emotions I had
threatening to bubble over the sides of my semi-hysterical act I had going
on.

"Please (sob) don't! I just want to be alone (sob)" he staggered to his
feet clutching his chest trying to stop anymore of his heart from been
ripped out and ran off down the corridor. I quickly stood up to follow him,
but then I noticed another doctor taking Tom's parents somewhere and I
quietly followed, I worried for Alex but I had to see Tom, I just had
too. The doctor lead Tom's parents down the corridor, I watched as room
after room passed by, each with it's own patient all of them children. I
wasn't looking where I was going when I bumped into the back of Tom's mom,
she turned around and was about to say something when Tom's dad butted in,
and whispered in her ear.

"Honey don't, you and I both know that he loves Tom more than either of us
combined" she seemed to accept the fact and placed her hand on my arm and
then guided me to the door they where standing at, we where about to enter
when the doctor asked if he could just talk with us about his condition, I
couldn't just stand here I had to go in.

"Is he in there? Can...can I go in?" I nervously asked, breaking up there
conversation.

"Yes you can" Tom's dad said, I liked him he was been really kind to me. I
mean I wanted to go in but for a while my hand just hovered on the door
handle, not wanting to see the state my boyfriend, my only love was in. I
jumped for my life when I felt a hand touch my back.

"Joshua it's ok, I know you are upset and afraid" Tom's dad crouched down a
bit to be on eye level with me "but we just have to be strong ok?" I could
see some more tears welling up in his eyes, but just before he let any go
he quickly stood up and wiped them away. They where all watching me now, I
felt like a bloody zoo animal, what did they want me to do? A bloody little
dance? I quickly turned around and opened the door and ducked inside, I
closed it behind me and took a deep breath. The smell of antiseptic stung
my noise. I looked around my surroundings and noticed that it was the same
yucky white colour as the rest of the hospital but with an added pea green
streak running around the room. In the corner of the room stood a
television and a wardrobe, a bathroom was just next to that. A lovely view
of the car park could be seen from the window. In the centre of the room
was the white curtain; behind it hid the bed that had my sleeping boyfriend
on it. I slowly walked towards the curtain and reached my shaky hand out
towards it, grasping it firmly I yanked on it, in fact I yanked so hard
that I almost brought the whole thing down on top of me. I let out an
audible gasp when I saw my boyfriend for the first time since the
ambulance...I must say he looked way better, hell I don't remember a time
when he didn't look sexy. I immediately felt guilty for thinking sexy
thoughts about my boyfriend when Jason had just died, I hung my head low
for a couple of seconds before slowly walking to my boyfriends side.

"Hey Tom?" I had half hoped he'd open his eyes when he heard me but it was
just a pipe dream. I looked at the contraption he had been put in, his arm
and leg where all covered in plaster and hung on wire above the bed and his
head was wrapped in a bandage, you could still see the black eye he had
gotten in the fight. He was wearing one of those flimsy blue nightgowns
they give you in hospital. I wondered if he was wearing any underwear, I
looked around me to make sure no one was watching and gently lifted the
nightgown up, I let out a sigh of relief when I saw everything was `A OK' I
was admiring my comatose boyfriends penis when the door to the room opened
and Tom's parents and mine and the doctor walked in. I quickly let go of
the nightgown and gave them my most innocent look.

"So...is everything in working order?" Tom's dad asked trying to break the
silence.

"Umm yea..." I shyly replied turning totally beet red in the process.

"Come on Josh time to go home and get you changed or something" my mom said
motioning towards the door.

"NO! I'm staying with Tom, I'm not leaving his side till he wakes up and
can walk out of here with me" I protested.

"Joshua, you can't I'm sure Tom's parents want to be alone with there son"
she headed over to grab me by the arm.

"Actually Mrs McThomas, I would be honoured if he could stay, the doctor
said that anything familiar could bring him out of his coma, and I don't
think you can get more familiar than the guy he loves" I ran over to Tom's
dad and hugged him tight, thanking the lord.

"Ok but I'll be back with some new clothes, yours are all covered in...well
you just need to change them" now I knew my mom didn't like Jason that much
but you could still see the sorrow of a loss of life on her face when she
thought about him. I waved goodbye to my mom as the door closed, I
scampered over to one of the chairs in the corner of the room and dragged
it over to the side of Tom's bed and gently wound my fingers in between
his, and sighed heavily.

"Josh? Do you mind if we have some time alone with our son? I'll shout of
you when where finished" Tom's mom spoke up, I really didn't want to leave
his side at all, I looked to Tom's dad to see if he'd let me stay but I
think he wanted me to go as well.

"Ok, I understand" my voice showed the stress of the whole day as I spoke
and I slowly got up and walked out the room quietly closing the door behind
me. I took a seat on one of the hard plastic chairs they had out front and
fell asleep, I couldn't hold it off it came over me and my eyes
closed...damn that sand man.



"Josh? Josh you there?" no it couldn't be, no way in hell could that
be...could it? I opened my eyes to see Jason stood there smiling at me. My
heart filled with joy and I leapt on him and hugged him tight.

"Jason???? How can this be? I mean your...umm...dead" I looked him up and
down looking for any indication that he was a zombie, thankfully he was the
same usual self he always was, perfect in his hunky way.

"This is a dream Josh, probably spanning from your very tired mind, you
have been through so much lately, I mean it has to be a dream look how good
you look" he was right I looked into a mirror which popped up from out of
the floor and boy did I look good, but I always look that good...don't I? I
sighed heavily and went to sit back down on the cold hard chair I had
occupied before but to find it had been replaced with a nice comfy leather
armchair.

"Damn for a second there I thought you weren't dead. Wait if this is my
subconscious are you even really here?"

"Maybe...maybe not" he sat down next to me on the big comfy chair, I was so
tired I curled up next to him and rested my head on his defined chest.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you wanted me to be here"

"I see..." ok now what?

"Don't you want to like do the unfinished business?" he asked while
stroking my back, I quickly sat up.

"Look Jason I don't care if your dead and this is a dream but there is NO
way in hell I'm sleeping with you" he just started to chuckle.

"Hehehe Josh I don't mean sex, I mean like goodbyes and stuff...but if you
want to have sex I'm always open..." he stopped talking when he noticed my
`I will never cheat on my boyfriend even if this is a dream and you are
dead' look.

"Ok...goodbye" I waited for him to pop into smoke and go off to heaven.

"Come on you can do better than that" umm I honestly didn't know what to
say, what do I do?

"Umm, goodbye I'll really miss you"

"You're not putting any heart into it" he crossed his arms and stirred
directly at me.

"Well I'm sorry I don't see the point in saying goodbye to my own
subconscious" well I didn't no matter what form it took, I mean I really
was going to miss Jason, I mean I loved him he was a really good friend but
this image was only that...an image nothing more nothing less. Hell the
real Jason's probably in heaven looking down on me and laughing his ass
off. Oh ok I might as well.

"Jason I'm..." I was about to say all the mushy stuff when an amazing light
blinded my eyes.


I woke up with a start, I was back in Tom's hospital room, the light from
the window was shining across my face. I tried desperately to remember the
dream I had just had with no luck, all I was left with was a feeling like I
had forgot to do something. I looked around me trying to remember how I had
made my way back in here; Tom's dad must have moved me. On the floor next
to the chair I was sleeping in was a pile of clean clothes. Damn I hadn't
even been awake to see my mom. I took the clothes and walked into the
bathroom to get washed and changed.  I felt my morning wood poking out my
pants, I had the urge to wank but I decided not until Tom was awake. I
cursed myself for thinking that...I mean who knows when he would wake up I
could be waiting ages. I walked back in to the room and noticed someone had
drawn the curtain around Tom's bed. I cautiously walked towards it, I think
I can safely say I wasn't expecting what was behind the curtain as could be
seen as my bottom jaw hit the floor. There stood looking at my comatose
boyfriend was"

"DAD!" I think I scared the shit out of him, HA! Good, what the hell was he
doing here I hated him.

"Josh...I...I saw you where sleeping so I thought I would come and see he
was ok" he motioned to Tom. I stepped in between my dad and the bed.

"Keep away from him, you shouldn't even be here I...we hate you for what
you're trying to do" I pushed him back slightly.

"Josh you don't mean that" I could see I was hurting him but I didn't care
I hated him just like he hated me for who I am.

"Yes I do! I hate you for trying to take me away from the only person I
love" I pointed at Tom.

"I'm not doing this to split you up Josh, I'm doing this because I love you
and want you to be safe, I mean look at what's happened! It could be you
next" I guess he had a point but there was no way in hell I was ever going
to leave Tom.

"I don't care! I love Tom and I hate you, and I tell you this if you take
me away from him you wont even get a chance to visit me in hospital cause
I'll be straight in that grave" I was so mad I didn't know if I was
bluffing or not.

"Fine, stay get killed for all I care" he looked so sad, he didn't even
look at me as he walked passed me to the door. He stopped and lingered at
the door for a few seconds. "I love you Joshua, and you are still my son"
with that he was gone. My heart felt so heavy, with all the things that
where happening I wasn't sure if I could hang on to my sanity. The week
rolled around and nothing truly amazing happened, each day I would wake up,
check on my sleeping boyfriend walk around the room. Talk to any visitors
he might get, mostly his and mine parents, a few nurses. I got a lot of
dirty looks off a couple of the nurses because when they would come in I
would be holing his hand, but I didn't care I loved Tom he was mine. About
Wednesday, I wasn't actually sure of the day cause I lost track, the police
came to see me, they questioned me about the incident and took note on what
I said. In fact they told me they had caught the suspects as a witness gave
a description of the car and the number plate, they wanted me to go down
and see if I knew who they where apparently there where from our school. I
was slipping deeper and deeper into depression; I just didn't know what I
was going to do if my boyfriend didn't wake up. I couldn't go on...could I?
Then on what I think was Saturday I woke up just in time to see Justin walk
through the door.

"YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, I literally took a flying leap
across the room and landed square on Justin, we fell back on the floor with
a thump. I was like a crazed man I was hitting him and hitting him and
hitting him with no sign of stopping on the horizon, he never once put up
any resistance he just laid there and took it. I hated him so much he was
the cause of all this mess it was him, he killed Jason he put Tom in
hospital it was him. I hated him!

"What the hell?!" Tom's dad came into the room and dragged me off his son,
I tried to get back to hitting him oh lord knows I tried, but Toms dad held
me stead fast. A nurse rushed in and helped Justin to a chair where she
could clean up his cuts...I had cut him YES! "What the hell do you think
your doing?"  Tom's dad said trying to look me in the face but I kept
looking past him to Justin who was just looking at his comatose brother.

"It's HIS fault HE'S the reason Jason is DEAD! And Tom is in a COMA" every
time I shouted I saw Justin flinch.

"Josh listen to yourself, I think you have been here for too long your not
making sense, I think you should go home" Tom's dad said while gently
shaking me. Only when the words sunk in did I finally look at him.

"What? No I can't go home I want to stay here I have to stay with my
boyfriend PLEASE!" I begged...how degrading.

"Nope I'm sorry, you need a goodnights rest I mean look at what you're
doing your accusing Justin of doing all this. He totally loves his
brother. Get your stuff I'll drive you home"

"No please I'll be good I promise let me stay" he wasn't having any of it.
He had grabbed what little of my stuff he could and started to guide me
towards the door. I wasn't sure but I think I pissed him off for trying to
put his other son in the hospital; I struggled like crazy against his tight
grasp.

"Dad wait...he's right, please let him stay" I heard the meek cry from
Justin as the nurse finished cleaning him up, thankfully his dad herd it
too, he let me go and I quickly scampered back to Tom's side and held his
hand again and watched with glee at the scene. At one side of the room
slumped over in a chair sat Justin wracked with guilt at the other side of
the room stood Tom's confused dad, me in the middle watching with glee at
what was unfolding, waiting to see Justin get told off, holding my comatose
boyfriends hand. This was great it was better than any of the daytime soaps
that I had been watching on T.V, which by the way I am now totally hooked
on...great I'm a soap-a-hollic.

"What are you talking about? You didn't do this, you weren't in the car you
didn't even know those kids you had no connection to them...did you?" Tom's
dad took a step closer to Justin who had started to quietly cry with guilt
in the corner, I could feel the tension in the room grow.

"No (sniff) I had no connection to them. But I'm the cause, it's all my
fault I didn't mean for this to happen I just wanted...I just wanted..." I
was totally engrossed.

"You wanted what?" I butted in; Tom's dad looked at me and I averted eye
contact by looking at anything else in the room but them.

"You guys took Jason and Alex away from me, I just wanted them back. I
wanted what was rightfully mine I...I...I loved them both"

"So you posted pictures of me and Tom up in the school for revenge, you
knew we couldn't retaliate because that would mean posting the pictures we
had of you and that would mean you would get your hands on Jason and Alex
again"

"What?" Tom's dad said trying to get to grasps on what was going on.

"Yes" Justin meekly replied...YES! I knew my deduction was right and his
plan was now totally out in the open, he was exposed as the scum he is. I
was so happy I felt like doing a little dance.

"You make me sick, and just to think I thought you where cute" I almost
spat that sentence out.

"YOU don't get it, I LOVE them. I didn't know this would happen I DIDN'T
want this to happen. I may have used them but I did love them both, I
didn't want them to be together because I was jealous, of them and you" the
tears where rolling down his beautiful face, I didn't feel any bit of
remorse.

"Jealous?"

"Yes, Jason and Alex had each other, you and Tom had each other. I just
wanted to be loved but I have never been able to give my heart to someone
fully without using them" he placed his face in his hands and started to
cry again. The room fell silent...deadly silent, I felt a cold shiver down
my spine and I swear only one person could do that to me...Jason.

"I forgive you" the words just came out of my mouth, I didn't even know I
had said it until I noticed Justin and Tom's dad where looking at me.

"What?" Justin said, while looking at me with total surprise. I just
shrugged, as I shook the weird feeling off me.

"Justin I would like to speak to you in private" Tom's dad spoke with a low
menacing voice and I saw Justin tremble in fear, he silently got up out of
his chair and came over to say goodbye to his brother than walked out the
room followed closely by his dad, they shut the door behind them. I was
pretty pissed at that I wanted them to do what ever it was they where going
to do in front of me, it was the most action I had seen in a while. And god
knows I hadn't wanked all week so all that sexual frustration was going
somewhere, I think it was fuelling my anger. Sometimes on a night I would
notice Tom had a hard on and I contemplated sucking it, but I didn't want
to risk been caught I knew they would chuck me out if they found me doing
that...although I did get a good feel.  The day's passed which them turned
into weeks Toms parents would visit regularly but I never saw Justin again
and I didn't dare ask how he was...I didn't really care.  I would talk to
Tom like he was awake, I would tell him what was happening and how I was
feeling and read to him, I kinda liked this he couldn't tell me to stop or
to shut up if I started talking stupid...I'm gonna miss this when he wakes
up. It had been two weeks when my auntie finally came to see me, I didn't
even know she was there, I was asleep with my head resting on the bed next
to my boyfriends arm, and I had woken up to find her stood there watching
us.

"How's my little nephew?" she asked noticing I had seen her.

"How long you been here?" I asked while yawning, I was still groggy from
the sleep.

"Long enough" she replied, she came over to my side and looked down on Tom.

"How's mom? And you? She got Tom's dad to bring all my stuff over when they
come" I kind of felt like she didn't want me when she stopped visiting.

"We both have been very busy, we have been dieing to see you, we miss you
so much. But when we get off work the visiting hours are over and we can't
come. Oh and one more thing your dad has dropped the custody case your free
to stay with us. Your very stressed Josh, let me help" she placed her hand
on my back, I instantly felt relaxed like I was floating on a cloud, I was
happy too, I could stay with my mom and auntie and my boyfriend who is in a
coma and probably would never come out of it...god that got me so
depressed. I was loosing hope fast.

"Can you do anything for him?" I asked not even looking at anything, the
calm relaxing feeling was enveloping my body.

"No I'm afraid not, only you can do that, but I have read the tarot cards,
this will all be over soon...we love you" I hated it when she did this to
me, she always managed to get me sleepy just by touching me. It was too
late to stop anything I had fallen asleep. I woke with a start, looking
around me I noticed my auntie had gone, the room was dark and I could
hardly see anything, I must have slept through out the day, I looked at my
watch and noticed it read 5 am, the sun would be rising soon. I reached
over to the table at the side of Tom's bed and switched the light on, I
quickly checked to see if Tom was ok, he was he hadn't been stolen during
the day. Directly in the beam of light on the table was a little black box,
I reached over to it and opened it up. I tipped the contents of the box on
to my hand. Out of the box fell the two silver rings that Tom had given to
me as a birthday present. They seemed to almost glow with an eerie light in
my hand, but it was just my imagination...or was it? They brought back some
good memories but some painful ones too. Inside the box was a note from my
auntie.

"Josh, Here are your rings I hope you don't mind I took them and had them
blessed by my coven for good luck, love you sweet cakes. See you both soon.
Auntie.  Ps, follow your heart."

I grasped the rings tightly as I started to cry. I just couldn't take it
anymore, I loved Tom but I had lost all hope, it hurt me more than anything
to say but I just couldn't stay I mean what if he never woke up?. I walked
over to the window to watch the last sunrise I would be having with Tom.

"Damn it Tom, you where always stubborn, why can't you for just this once
listen to me and wake up? In two weeks you haven't so much as batted an
eyelid." I walked back over to where he was sitting, the tears rolling down
my cheeks.  "I try Tom I try to be strong, but this isn't working I need
you here now Tom I love you so much but I don't think I can do this anymore
it's driving me completely nuts. My life has become a total soap opera , I
mean what's next your going to wake up and not remember anything about me?
I'm sorry but I just can't stick around for that day." I slid one of the
silver rings onto my finger and grasped his hand ready to place the other
ring on his finger. "I love you so much Tom I really do that's why it's
killing me to do this but I have to go, I have a life I need to catch up
with. I need to know how Alex is doing. I love you Tom but..." I sighed
heavily. I slowly slid his ring on his finger. "I will always love you Tom
and these rings are here to prove it, if you ever wake up call me ok?" I
felt so mean but it had to be done, I grasped his hand tightly than let it
go so I could use my hand to lean on as I leaned in close to kiss him one
last time on the lips, out of the corner of my eye I saw the sun breaking
over the horizon. I broke the kiss I was giving him and turned my head to
watch the sunrise, my tears gently falling on his face. I closed my eyes
and felt the rays of the sun fall on my face, it was a new day a fresh
beginning. I could feel the soft warm breath of Tom on my cheek and I knew
I would miss that the most, my heart broke at that thought. I loved the
feel of his breath on my face, I turned my head so he was breathing on my
lips and I leaned forward to finish my kiss. My lips came in contact with
his sweet lips, and I savoured every moment of the time our lips where
together. I felt Tom's hand on the back of my head as he pushed harder, and
his tongue work his way into my mouth, as we both kissed with passion, only
when I tried breaking the kiss and found I couldn't pull away cause he was
holding me in place did I realise what was happening. I quickly flinched
away after he had finished giving me the kiss of my life, which literally
took my breath away. My heart was racing and my whole body was tingling
with pleasure. I looked down to see him looking back up at me, I looked
deep into those perfect eyes and saw only love and affection.

"Tom? YOUR AWAKE!" I screamed and hugged him tight; he looked at me with a
puzzled look, on his beautiful face.

"Who are you" his voice sent shivers through my spine I had missed that
sexy voice with it's teenage rasp to it. But then I realised what he had
said. My heart was crushed again and I almost burst out crying again.

"What the hell do you mean?" I asked out of shock, he just started cracking
up and laughing his ass off...THAT ASSHOLE!

"You hehehe should have seen hehehe your face"

"TOM YOU ASSHOLE THAT WASN'T FUNNIE!" I screamed at him, he quickly became
serious when he realised how hurt I was.

"Josh I'm sorry, I'm really sorry can you forgive me?" my anger dissipated
at the sound of his voice and went to hold his hand again.

"It's just...I thought you would never wake up, I stayed by your side, it's
been weeks now and I haven't left this chair...I haven't wanked either. I
really thought you would never come out of your coma" I said while
squeezing his hand.

"What do you mean coma? Weeks?" I sighed heavily, I was so glad he was back
and was ok but now I had the task of telling him all that had happened
while he was asleep. I told him everything, he cried a lot, and I cried
too, he couldn't believe Jason was dead, neither could I really. He didn't
say anything about what I told him about Justin. Every time someone came to
see Tom it was like a little party they bought balloons and presents and
food...tasty food non of the hospital crap, it was awesome I must remember
to knock Tom unconscious when I have a craving for chocolates. Another week
passed before we where able to leave the hospital together, of course he
had to keep the plaster cast's on, and because there where on his arm and
leg meant I got to push him around in a wheelchair. All you grannies watch
out...we have a set of wheels now...muhahahah!

About a week after we where released Jason's funeral was held, his mom had
postponed it so we could be there...he didn't have many friends. Because
she had postponed it it couldn't be an open-air coffin, for obvious
reasons. It was held out in the open, for the entire world to see. It was
on top of a slight hill, which made it fucking difficult for me to wheel
Tom up. Alex came up behind me and helped me push the wheelchair the rest
of the way. It was an amazing day, the sun was shining and the grass was
green and the birds where chirping, the air was nice and crisp and there
wasn't a cloud in the sky, not even the wind was blowing. We where sat a
few feet away from the coffin, on small hard un-comfy chairs. I was sat on
the end of the row next to Tom in his wheel chair; next to me was Alex and
next to him was Jason's parents, behind us where various members of his
family. Off in the distant behind some trees unaware I could see him was
Justin silently watching, he wanted to come but me Tom and Alex wouldn't
allow it, I know it was mean but it would have just started trouble.
Everyone was wearing black in fact you couldn't see Jason's mom's face as
it was covered with a black veil, but I knew like the rest of us she was
silently crying. I was even wearing my `cool' shades...mostly to hide my
red puffy eyes. The priest started his sermon talking about how great Jason
was, I mean he was great...I guess but what would this guy know he's only
seen the dead Jason! I didn't know if the rest where doing what I was doing
but I was toning out that stupid ass priest and thinking back to all the
good times and the bad times Jason and me had. I admit it was mostly bad
times, but there where some good times there.  I remembered how he used to
smile at me when I made a stupid joke, I remembered the first day we met in
that crowded hallway, he was my knight in shining armour, as well as a wolf
in sheep's clothing. I felt Tom squeeze my hand as some songs that Alex had
chosen started to play, he whispered to me during sobs that they where
Jason's favourite songs. He had chosen `if I could turn back time' by Cher
and `you can't hurry love' by Diana Ross and the Supremes.  Both the songs
made me totally depressed. Finally the sermon ended and the people started
to dissipate. I watched as Jason's dad carried his wife away to the car.  I
lifted up my glasses and wiped a few tears away. We sat there for a while
just me Tom and Alex, quiet no one wanted to speak, we where all reflecting
on the good times. I knew it was hard for Alex to be here, when I had gone
to his house to check on him after Tom was out of hospital, he was a total
mess he hadn't been out of bed and was on medication...he had tried to kill
himself. But now he is much better and off the medication although he doped
himself up for the funeral, I didn't agree with that but I didn't stop
him. I quietly got up out of my chair and made my way over to the sealed
coffin, I placed my hands gently on the lid.

"I can't believe your really gone Jason, I thought you would be around
forever.  I thought I would have plenty more chances to yell at you. What
can I say? I miss you so much and so does Tom. Alex is doing much better
now. And they have tried the people who killed you with murder...but I
guess you already know that don't you, I mean you probably know everything
now...even the colour of my underwear, just quietly watching us from
heaven. I just want to ask one favour...don't watch me in the shower ok? Or
when Tom and me are having sex or wanking or stuff. Cause if you do I'll
exorcise you understand? Oh and remember you asked for my forgiveness? You
didn't need to I was mad at you but you were my friend and I would have
forgiven you anyways. But just in case you need to hear it, Jason I forgive
you" I had started crying during that little speech thing. I felt something
cold on my cheek almost like a kiss, and I knew deep down it was Jason, he
had heard me. Alex wheeled Tom up besides me and Tom handed Alex Jason's
book of conquests, with a deep breath he placed it on top of the coffin. I
started wheeling Tom towards the car park so Alex could be alone.

"Love you Tom" I whispered to him.

"Love you too" We watched Alex silently from the car park while waiting for
my auntie to pick us up. We saw Justin cautiously approach Alex, we watched
as they hugged and Justin got the forgiven by Alex. Then we saw Alex punch
Justin square in the jaw and knock him out cold. Alex came bounding down
the hill with a big smile on his face.

"That was for Jason...I don't think he saw that one coming did you?" he
said, I couldn't help it I just started to laugh, I couldn't stop, soon
Alex and Tom where joining in. it wasn't really funny it's just we needed
the laugh so bad, we laughed for so long that day, talking and just
reminiscing about the past, it was the best day of our life's. I knew than
that everything was going to be just fine as long as we had each other and
where still friends and we never forgot Jason, my life is going to be just
fine as long as I have Tom and the love we share...I hope.

                                 The end.

Thew at last the official end. I hope you all didn't get bored reading this
one it was kinda long but I hope you all liked it. Now that's the end of
the Joshua series, yippee. Which means I now have more time to work on my
other stories like `shape' and `I love you' I hope you check them out. In
the future I might just bring out one more episode of Joshua showing how
there coping in the future...but that's a maybe. I hope you all liked this
series. thank you for reading this story.