Date: Sat, 01 May 1999 13:32:30 PDT
From: Luke
Subject: joshua-5

Disclaimer,
Y'know the drill don't read if you are underage or don't like stories about
two teenage boys, etc... Thanks to all the people who read this
Luv ya!

			       Joshua part 5

"Because (sniff) Joshua Tyler McThomas, I love you"

It didn't actually register, I mean I saw his mouth moving and I heard the
words but my brain shut down from the shock. I don't know what shocked me
more, the fact that my wildest dreams had come true and he was gay, or that
he 'loved' me. Time slowed down. I never understood Einstein's theory on
relativity until that moment. Y'know the closer you get to the speed of
light the slower time gets, well I'm quite sure my heart was doing warp 9
at that point. Time was going so slow it was going backwards, I kept
reliving the moment. I think what seemed like an eternity later, it
registered and the words sunk in.

SHIT, FUCK, PISS, TIT and of course not forgetting my all favourite pass
time WANK!!!!

He loved me; Tom loved me, OH MY GOD! What was I going to do? I mean I
liked Tom, but, well, I don't know! I'm just a teenager for god sakes, I'm
just happy been happy any other emotions I can't handle. I blinked for what
seemed the thousandth time when I noticed Tom was looking at me. Actually
he was looking expectantly at me, like a little puppy, his eyes red from
the crying. His hair was actually a little scruffy for the first time ever,
and he looked all, well, sad. To be honest Tom wasn't looking at his
best. I actually felt a little guilty for thinking he wanted Jason, when he
actually wanted me. I was shocked back in to reality again when he spoke.

"Err, Josh? I said I loved you..." I could hear the fear in his voice. I
didn't answer. He took a deep breath before asking the next question "Do
you love me?" I was speechless (a first, well almost!), somebody loved me,
but it wasn't the right person. I wanted Jason to love me. I was only
lusting after Tom, wasn't I?

"No"

Tom held his head in his hands while he cried again, my heart was breaking
but I couldn't give him something I didn't have. I moved over to sit beside
him and I rested my hand on his back. I started crying I hated that! I
always looked like a dork.

"Tom, I'm sorry" I started to rub his back, he turned to look at me, his
face was full of hatred, something I'd never seen in Tom before. I didn't
like it.

"Sorry!? SORRY!? You're sorry, no I'm sorry, sorry for ever liking a little
shit like you." he literally spat the last few words and the each stung
like a thousand bees.

"Tom! You don't mean it, your just angry." I was pleading; he'd stood up in
front of me and was making like he was going to hit me. I was shit scared;
I'd never seen him like this, He looked mean. He headed towards the door.

"You two deserve each other. You're both cock sucking assholes! Was this
like a plan or something? Both of you screw around with my head see which
one of you can make me crack first? Well 'whoopee fucking doo' Josh guess
what you won. Consider our friendship over, Shit eater!" with that he was
gone.

He was gone from everything; he no longer wanted to be my friend all
because I said 'no'. Boy he takes rejection bad. I was in pain I'd just
lost my best friend about three minutes after he told me he loved me. It
sucks been me and not in a good way! The minute I heard the front door slam
a little something died inside of me. I just lay on the bed, crying, a
broken emotionless shell of the man I was. The only emotion I knew was lust
and revenge seemed to walk hand in hand with it all the way down the path
to ruin, my ruin.

I heard a knock at the door as my auntie wondered in.

"Josh, my poor boy what's wrong? And what in the world is wrong with Tom?
Ooh this room is so full of negative energy and look at your aura it's so
dirty" she sat beside me and started waving her hands over my back
'cleansing' my aura, strangely enough I started to feel a lot better "Now
come on tell me what's wrong"

"No, I want my mum" I was getting really good at saying 'no' lately, the
'cleansing' must have been working I had stopped crying and started to feel
sleepy, I felt so relaxed as she gazed into my eyes.

"That’s ok I understand, now you have a nice nap and when you wake up
you'll feel totally refreshed and any answers you may need will come" she
yawned which caused me to yawn, I wanted to sleep. My auntie's hand came up
to close my eyes, a couple of minutes later I was in lullaby land.

I proceeded to have a funky Technicolor dream about talking lions driving
cars, which were usually reserved for drug users. I woke with a start I
looked around trying to figure out where I was, unfortunately the business
with Tom came flooding back, damn. And where were these goddamn answers
that my auntie promised, lying bitch! It was pitch black, how long had I
been asleep? I fumbled around in the dark looking for my clock, pressing
the button illuminated the room in a ghostly green glow. SHIT! It was
7.47pm, if I didn't move my butt I'd be late for sex at Jason's. I mean I
liked Tom but I wanted Jason and nothing could stop me from shagging him
tonight. I think I had the quickest shower possible, I jumped in and then
out again, FUCK! The shower was way too cold. I didn't wait for it to heat
up I quickly got dressed in a pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt.

I arrived at Jason's house with a whole minute to spare, I banged on the
door, hopefully Jason would be banging on my 'door' soon, hehehehe. He
opened it dressed in just boxers, damn don't he ever wear clothes in the
house? The sight brought back memories, I half expected Tom to pop out at
any moment, that would have been a riot. I looked over Tom, err, Jason's
body, damn I can't get Tom off my mind why was that? Jason stood a vision
of teen beauty. His body looked totally hairless (well except for the pubic
hair, but I couldn't see that, yet), his body seemed to have the slight
build of an athlete, he had a six-pack I would die for. I wanted sex so
badly I could taste it.

"Are you coming in or are you just going to look at me all day?"

"Well I'll come in and then resume looking" I stepped inside as he closed
the door behind me.

"Why just look?" with that Jason grabbed me and kissed me deep, the feel of
his tongue swirling around my mouth was amazing, I hadn't realised but
Jason had almost impaled me on that piece of steel he calls a dick, it
pressed into my groin. He ground into me; my own dick started to become
erect. I broke the kiss.

"Not here, let's go to your room" I was breathing hard. Sweat caused my
T-shirt to stick to my body.

"Okey dokey..." with that he raced up the stairs and into his room. "Come
on Tyler!" I slowly plodded up the stairs. I was scared and for no
reason. I ended up sat on his bed, Jason stood in front of me smiling from
ear to ear.

"What's the matter Tyler, you don't want this?" he grabbed his crotch and
slowly rubbed it a couple of times. I looked to the floor. I started
looking at Jason's legs the were nice and hairless the way he stood showed
of some future muscles, not like Toms legs, Toms weren't as defined with
muscles. My eyes moved up and over Jason's body, each time I noticed
'something' about it I liked I could think of a thousand different reasons
why I liked Toms 'something' better. What was wrong with me? I looked at
Jason's smile I didn't have the same wrinkles in the corners as Toms did
and I always found that so cute. I looked in to Jason's grey eyes, they
were cold and sterile, not like Toms, his were warm and loving. Hey that's
where I've seen Jason's hairstyle before it's almost the same as Toms; it's
just missing the cute spiky thing I love so much. OH MY GOD! Did I just use
the word 'love' when describing something about Tom? Did I actually love
Tom and just lust over Jason? The answer came almost immediately, 'YES YOU
COMPLEAT MORON!' I would have to have a talk with my subconscious at a
later date. There was a sound of smashing glass as my reality came crashing
down, replaced with some of the fun times I had had with Tom. There was
even an image of us running through some fields holding hands, now I don't
remember doing that but I didn't care, I was truly in love with Tom. I must
have had the biggest smile on my face as my body let out an involuntary
sigh.

"Oh yeah I'm going to enjoy this too" my thoughts came tumbling down to
earth as Jason spoke. I had been so involved with my own thoughts that I
hadn't noticed that Jason had removed his boxer shorts and was now stood in
his birthday suit. And what a nice suit it had absolutely no wrinkles. I
looked at the 5-inch boner that was hovering near my lips; it stood proud
and erect, slightly curling up to meet his belly button. The foreskin was
stretched tightly over the head of the penis; it revealed the tip that was
glistening with pre-cum. My mouth watered for it ... no! I was staying true
to Tom. I smacked the dick away as I quickly stood up.

"Oh yeah, so were playing hard to get are we? I've been waiting for this
for so long, I am actually going to miss you when you go back to England"
He went to grab me but I dodged his grip, I knocked him on to the
bed. "Tyler what's wrong?"

"My names not Tyler it's Joshua." A puzzled look flew across his face.

"Is this some kind of sex game?"

"You just don't get it do you. My name is Joshua Tyler McThomas; I'm the
same English kid you screwed over a couple of months ago. I wanted revenge
for what you did to me; I wanted to get you back, to make you love me so I
could dump you so you knew what it felt like. I also thought I loved you
but I was wrong, I love some one else I only lusted after you. I also
realised that no matter how much I wanted to hurt you I couldn't, even you
don't deserved that." Did I say that? It doesn't sound like something I'd
say; in fact it must have been the most honest thing I'd ever said it
sounded so grown up, wow. I looked across to Jason the look of total
disbelief splashed all over his face. He was speechless, that was a feat
all in it's self, the only other time he was speechless was when he was
kissing.

"Err, I better go, I'm sorry" I turned and headed for the door.

"Josh -- wait" oh no was that pain I heard in his voice this can not be
good. I stopped but I didn't turn around. "Josh, I'm sorry for what I did
to you. I really am. Please don't leave, please" Jason started to sob
quietly, I had never known Jason could feel remorse, great now I was
starting to feel sad too. Shit. I turned around to see tears streaming down
his face.

"Why shouldn't I leave, a couple of months ago you threw me out"

"I know, and I'm sorry. Please don't go. I--I--I love you" deja fucking vu,
did he just say he loved me? Jeez that's two in one day. I guess I got what
I really wanted, Jason loved me. But now I felt really sorry for him, he
was now crying like a baby. I walked slowly over to him and placed a gentle
kiss on his forehead.

A thousand mean things to say flooded through my head "I'm sorry, my heart
belongs to another, you'll find somebody one day." I felt so grown up. This
didn't stop Jason from crying though, in fact he cried even more. He was
still crying and begging me to stay when I left his house and headed home
to ring Tom and tell him that I loved him back.

I ran in my house and up the stairs so fast that I almost knocked my aunt
over.

"Hey watch it, what's a matter with you?" my aunt shouted after me.

"I'm in love" with that I slammed my bedroom door but I could still hear
the squeals of delight from my auntie.

I lay on my bed with the phone in my hand contemplating how I should tell
him. Let's see, should I just go 'Tom I love you more than words can say',
or 'Tom baby come over so I can show you just how much I love you'. I
smiled at myself for been so gooey, I knew it would be hard to get Tom to
talk to me, I mean he was so mad, but he would be so happy to know I loved
him too. I was so happy in love I stunned myself. I dialled Tom's number
and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" it was his mother, good job I managed to stop myself screaming 'I
love you'. I wondered for a second what she was doing picking up her sons
private phone line in his bedroom, but I guess it is her house.

"Err, yeah is Tom there please?"

"I'm sorry he's gone to stay at his cousins" a minor set back but that's
ok.

"Really, do you have a number or address I can reach him at?"

"Well, you can't visit him that's for sure it's in Texas..." TEXAS!! "And
he said I shouldn't give the number out to any of his friends, sorry, was
it important?" I was starting to get a little worried but that's ok he
should be back for school on Monday.

"No, that's ok I'll see him at school on Monday" I took a deep breath I
sensed something was really wrong.

"Oh I'm really sorry, but he won't be back for Monday he's gone for a
couple of weeks I'm afraid" she sounded so cheerful, how could she? My
heart had been teased from its resting-place and thrown about the room. I
couldn't wait that long to see him!

"A couple of weeks! (Sniff) but what about school? (Sob), please give me
his number (sniff) please!" I had started to cry, and I pleaded with her to
the point of whining when she put the phone down.

I lay on my bed crying because of Tom, twice in one day. A New World
record. What was I going to do? How was I going to get to Tom? I couldn't
wait till he got back, hell he might not even come back!

For some unknown reason I had this killer hard on, but I didn't even care,
knowing how much pain I had caused Tom put me off wanting to bring pleasure
to myself. That's how much I loved him.

That's it! I'm going to tell him I love him even if it means I have to go
all the way to Texas!

End of part 6.