Date: Wed, 05 Jul 2000 18:59:16 -0400
From: insanevisionary@hotmail.com
Subject: Just Boys 2

			  Just Boys part two plus

My Mom was standing in the kitchen holding a cup of coffee, and Tommy's Mom
was sitting at the table.  I ran over to my Mom, scooted behind her and grabbed
her around the waist, almost spilling her coffee.
  She raised both arms to shoulder level, holding out the cup.  "Travis!  What
in God's name?.."
  "Hide me," I said with a giggle.
  Slam!  Tommy banged in through the door.  His little boy voice rang from the
mudroom.  "Don't even think about hiding somewhere 'cuz I'll find you, Travis."
  He stomped into the kitchen and spotted me.
  "Yipes," I yelled.  I let go of my Mom and headed for safety.
  "Ha!"  Tommy ran past my Mom after me.
  "Agrghhhhh!!"  Was the next sound I heard.  Tommy's Mom had grabbed his pack
and stopped him, nearly flipping him onto the floor.
  "Whoa, tiger," she said.
  I didn't see it, but I heard it, and sneaked back so I could see what was
going to happen.
  "Uh, Travis honey...  Why don't you get your little angel butt back in here -
NOW?"
  Crap.  That was my Mom.
  I sauntered back into the kitchen.  "Yeah, Mom?"
  Tommy's Mom still had him by the backpack.
  "I thought you two weren't fighting," my Mom said with a smirk.
  "We weren't.  Uh... I mean we aren't," I said.
  "Really," Tommy's Mom said sarcastically.  She had a way with that.
  She looked at my Mom.  "Sounds like a problem to me."
  Tommy looked at me.
  I looked at him.
  We both knew we were done.  I walked over and put my arm around Tommy's
shoulder.  He draped one arm around me.
  I smiled at my Mom, then at him. Best friends, right?
  The look on Tommy's face said - I owe you one.  Then he put on his goofiest
grin for his Mom.
  They looked at each other and smiled and shook their heads together.
  "What are we having for dinner, Mom?" I asked.
  "I don't know yet - seafood I think," she said.
  Oh, cool.  That meant she had something special up her sleeve.
  "Can I help?"  I really liked helping her cook.  She was so cool, and let me
do stuff other kids couldn't even try.
  "Maybe," she said.  "We'll see - Tommy?  Are you staying for dinner?"
  "Yes Ma'am!'  He glanced at his Mom.  He hadn't meant to sound so
enthusiastic, but everybody there knew that my Mom was the best.
  His Mom didn't even pause.  "I know," she said, looking at my Mom with a big
sigh.  "Seafood here means sole alomondine, or stuffed scallops.  At my house
it's a tuna melt and fries," she said with a laugh.
  "You make great tuna melts, Mom..." Tommy said with a step toward his Mother.
  God, he was so sweet - There it was again.  Crap!
  "I know," she said, hugging him.  Then to my Mom with a wink, "Thanks again -
I'll talk to you later.  I get out about seven, and I'll pick him up then."
  Tommy's Mom worked part-time at a local plant store.  If anyone wanted to know
what to do with a garden, all they had to do was ask her.  "Keep an eye on these
two monkeys, OK?"
  Monkeys?
  That was our cue.  Tommy met my eyes and read my grin.  In unison we started
jumping around the kitchen, scratching our armpits and making Ooohh-oooohhh,
Ahh-hhh sounds.
  "Stop!" my Mother yelled.  "Enough.  Out! - Both of you.  Go climb some trees
or something."
  We headed for the door, but Tommy's Mom stood up and corralled him around the
neck.  She kissed him on the cheek.  I wished I was her but was glad my Mom
wasn't going to grab me.
  "I love you, baby," I heard her whisper in his ear.
  Tommy struggled to get away, and I saw the color rise in his face.
  "See you later, tiger," she said, and she headed for the door.
  We followed her out.
  "Are you gonna ask?" I asked Tommy.
  "What?  Oh, yeah.  Uh, wait up here, OK?"
  "Up here?  Why?"
  "Just please, Travis.  Wait here.  Please?"
  What the heck was this?  "Uh...  Sure. OK."
  "Hey, Mom!  Wait!" he yelled as he ran after her.
  I went back inside and looked out the window.  His Mom had started the car and
was backing it up.  He went to the passenger's door and got in.
  Why'd he do that?  He couldn't leave - his pack was still here.  The backup
lights went off, and then the brake lights too.
  "Where's Tommy?" Mom asked from the kitchen.
  "He had to ask his Mom something."
  The car just sat there.
  "Well why don't you help me plan dinner then, before I go out to the market?"
  "K..." I said.  The car didn't move.  I could see them both in the front seat,
talking.  What was taking so long?  It was a simple question.  Can I stay over -
yes or no?
  "Travis?  Are you listening?  I asked you if Tommy likes shrimp better, or
fish."
  "Uh...  What?" I heard myself say.  They were still talking.
  "Travis."  She was standing right next to me.  "What's going on?" she said as
she looked out the window.
  "Tommy's asking his Mom if he can sleep over," I blurted out.  Ooooops. Crap!
Why'd I say that?  Oh well, I was going to have to ask her too, anyway.
  "He said he wanted to ask first."
  She let the curtain go.  "Ohhhhh..." she said.
  I looked up and she had that look on her face that adults get when they know
something that they are not going to tell you.  Like when it's about sex or
something else bad or gross.
  Then the look was gone.  "Well, I'm sure he'll be back in a minute.  Come on.
Help me make a list, OK?"
  "K Mom."  I followed her into the kitchen.
  We decided on shrimp cocktail, stuffed sole, which was fish, and potatoes-oh-
rotten, that was cut up and baked with cheese on top, and she said she would get
something good for dessert.  I was having a hard time concentrating and just
sort of went along with whatever she said.
  The list done, I went back to the window, and discovered that the car was gone
just as I heard the kitchen door close.
  Tommy walked into the kitchen as I got there.  His head was down.
  Crap.  She'd said no.
  "Well, can you?  What'd she say?  What'd she say?" I asked in rapidfire mode.
  Tommy nodded his head slowly.  "She said OK," he said softly.
  "Yaaaay!" I yelled.
  I grabbed my Mom's hand in both of mine, and started jumping up and down.
"Can he, Mom?  Can he?  Can he stay over tonight?  Please?  Can he stay?  Can
he?  Can he?  Hunh?  Pleease, Mom - canneee?"  I was coming out of my skin.
  "Well... I don't know," she said slowly.
  Aaaaaaaarghhhh.  Too much.  Not funny, Mom.
  "Yes, of course he can," she said, tousling my hair.
  "Alriiiiight!"  I yelled again, and I started dancing around the kitchen.
"This is going to be sooo cool!"
  I looked back at my Mom to thank her.  She had a worried expression and was
looking at Tommy.
  I turned toward him, expecting him to start whooping it up with me any second,
but he was just standing there.  Then I noticed his eyes were all red, like he'd
been crying or something.
  What the crap???  He looked awful.  He was supposed to be going mental being
happy.  Didn't he want to stay over?  Did he have to cry in the car, to get his
Mom to say yes?  Was he getting sick?
  "Travis," my Mom said.  "If Tommy is going to stay, I want you to go and clean
up your room a little before you two go out to play."
  "Aww, Mom..."
  "You don't have to clean everything - but at least pick up ALL of the dirty
clothes and put them in the laundry room.  Then you can go out," she said
firmly.
  Ha.  Small price to pay for having my best friend with me all night.  "K, Mom.
C'mon Tommy," I said, heading for the hallway.
  "Tommy can stay here for a minute.  I want to check our dinner menu with him
to make sure there isn't something he doesn't like."
  I turned around.
  "Go," she said.  "It'll only take you a minute, and he'll be right here when
you get back."  She sounded a little more serious than she needed to be.  Was
something going on?
  I turned back around and started to run.  Only take a minute?  Ha.  Less than
that!
  (I found out later that when I left, my Mom said, "Please don't worry, Tommy.
It's going to be alright.  Trust me.  Travis would never hurt your feelings, and
neither would I.  Would it be easier for you if I told him?"
  "No.  Please don't," he squeaked.
  "OK, well I'm going to go to the market later and you can tell him then, OK
hon?" she said and she hugged him.)
  When I got back I heard her say, "OK, well it looks like the list is all set
then, except for dessert, and I'll bet I can come up with something you'll both
like."
  She saw me walking into the room, and said, "Do you still want to help me with
dinner?"
  "Sure."  Anything.  At this point, anything you want, Mom.
  "Good, then you two can make the shrimp cocktails.  I'll be going soon, but
I'll let you know when.  Now - outside with you both."
  I tore out the door with Tommy right behind.  He looked a little better now.
  "Oh no!" I shouted.  "No, please don't."  I cowered on the ground in front of
him.
  "Travis..." He rolled his eyes.  "You are soo MENTAL.  What are you doing?"
  "Aren't you gonna punch me?" I asked, peeking out at him from between my
fingers.  "You still owe me one, 'member?"
  It worked.  He smiled.  "Oh, yeahhhhhh... I forgot."
  He walked over to me, smacking his right fist into his open left hand.  Then
he stood over me and raised his fist as high as he could.
  Oh man, he was really going to HURT me!  Crap!   But it would be worth it.  I
braced myself.
  Tommy's arm came down fast - aimed for my shoulder, then it almost stopped,
and he tapped me.
  "Aaaaaaaahhhh!!  My high-pitched scream split the air.  I never saw his arm
slow down.  My eyes had been closed.
  I opened them expecting to have to look for my arm so I could put it back on,
and then I realized - He'd barely even touched me!  All I'd felt, instead of the
bone crushing, kid-arm-removing impact I'd screamed for, was a little baby tap
on the shoulder.
  Tommy was rolling on the ground a few feet away, laughing.
  I got up and stood over him, my hands on my hips.  "Think that's funny, do
ya?" I asked.
  He stopped laughing, sat up and said, "Yup.  Sure do."  Then he stood up and
smiled.  "I win again."
  I didn't know what to do.  He was right.  He'd gotten me again.  And he was
still the cutest thing I'd ever seen, and he was standing not two feet from me
looking into my eyes.  There's that I wanna hug you feeling again.
  "Come on," I said.  "Let's throw the ball around."
  We played the rest of the morning.  Whatever it was that Tommy had been maybe
crying about seemed forgotten as we kicked soccer balls, scouted for Indians,
and climbed trees.
  Once when Tommy was climbing above me I could see right up his shorts to where
his soft, white thigh met his underwear.  Yup.  He was wearing the Hulk ones.  I
saw his little bulge for a second and then it was gone, but I had that funny
feeling again and looked away so I wouldn't get caught.
  We were halfway up a big oak when My Mom called us.
  We scrambled down and met her at the kitchen door.
  "I'm going now," she said, looking at her watch.  "I'll be back in half an
hour."
 "K, Mom," I said.  I turned towards the woods hoping she wasn't going to try to
kiss me or hug me or something.  There were still unclimbed trees out there.
  "Wait," she said.  "You two are to play inside 'til I get back - I don't want
you falling out of a tree and breaking your neck while I'm gone."
  Crap!
  "There's milk and cookies for you on the table in the dining room."  She
turned down the path then, and said over shoulder, "...And don't burn the house
down!"
  She always said that.  And, -fall -out -of -a -tree -and -break -your -neck.
If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard that one.  You'd think parents would
come up with something new once in awhile.
  Oh, well.  Mom's cookies were great.  We went in and sat next to each other at
the large table, and each grabbed a cookie.  Mmmm...  Chocolate chip with Heath
bar pieces.
  We sat and munched until they were gone, and then Tommy said, "Hey, Travis..."
  "Yfhk..?" I answered with my mouth full.
  "I uh, I gotta tell you something..."
  I washed down the last bite with the last of my milk, and wiped my mouth on my
sleeve.  "K, what's up?"
  "I, uh...  I..."  He glanced down at the table.
  Man did he look strange!  Like all greyish.  Something weird WAS going on, I
knew it!
  "OK Tommy, what's goin' on?" I asked.
  Tommy started to shake in his seat.
  Then I saw something drop into his lap.
  Crap!  He was crying.  What the...?
  Then I knew.
  He hated me.  I went and hugged him last week, after our bath, and he must
have caught me looking at him today, and he hated me.  That's why he didn't want
to sleep over.  And now he was going to tell me.
  My insides turned to lead.  I knew it.  I knew it wasn't right.  All these
funny things I felt in my chest and between my legs.  I'd done wrong.  I'd been
very, very bad, and now I was going to be punished.  My very best friend in the
whole world hated me.
 Tommy wiped his eyes with his hand, then slowly moved it down and rested it on
mine in my lap.
  I felt some kind of shock when he touched me.
  He looked up at me.  "Can... can we go in your room for a minute?" he asked.
  What?  "Uh.. sure."  Confused.  Very confused.  What was going on?  He was
holding my hand!
  I let him lead me by the hand down the hall and into my room.
  He headed for my double bed, pulled himself up and sat.
  "What's the matter with you Tommy?  You said you wanted to tell me something..."
  "I do." He said wiping his eyes again.  "I mean, I will... Just gimme a minute."
  He hated me.  I knew it.
  "Travis..."
  "Yeahhh?"
  "I..."  He started crying again.
  This was making me nuts.  Just TELL me and get it over with!  It's easy.  I
hate you Travis because you're a wierdo.  That's all you have to say.
  "Tommy.  You're driving me mental.  Will you just tell me?"
  "OK, OK," he said with a sniffle.  "I gotta tell you before your Mom gets back
anyway..."
  What?  My Mom was in on this too?  Crap.  I don't believe this.
  "OK Travis, I hope you won't hate me but..." he wiped his face.
  "Tommy!"
  He jumped.  Then he raised his head, looked right at me with those beautiful
blue eyes, took a deep breath and said, "Sometimes at night... I bedwet."
  His hands went to his face, and he let out a long sigh.
  I just stood there as he took a big, shaking breath.  "I didn't want to sleep
over with you, 'cuz I didn't want-to get your nice big bed all-all wet and
smelly an' I don't care if you hate me an'-just please don't tell anybody an'
that's why my Mom won't ever let-me sleep over 'cuz she said if the other kids
find out they'll pick on me, an'..."  He was talking and crying and shaking, and
wiping all at the same time.
  He snuffed up a nosefull and hiccuped.  "An', an' but you're my best friend
and so I begged her to let-me sleep over an' so she said we had-to tell you an'
I didn't want to but she said I had-to but maybe if I wanted to she would tell
you-instead an' now we we have to tell your Mo-om too an' I don't care 'cuz now
I told you an', an' so-do you still want me to?"
  WHAT?  You pee the bed?  Crap.  That's IT???
  I looked at Tommy sitting there, slobbering all over and breathing like a
dying cat, and I wanted to laugh.  I wanted to shout.  He doesn't hate me.
  I wanted to sing.  Jump and down.  My best friend wets his bed - he doesn't
hate me.  I took a step toward him and smiled.
  Tommy was looking at me in horror now.
  "Tommy," I started but he jumped off the bed and ran into my bathroom, and
shut the door.
  Oh, no!  Now what?  I went to the door.  "Tommy?.."
  "Go 'way Travis, I HATE you."
  WHAT?  Was he totally mental?
  "Tommy, I..."
  "You laughed at me, Travis.  I told you-and I shouldn't have and-now you and-
your Mom-and everybody can just la-laugh at me all day if you want-'cuz I HATE
you."  He was crying so hard, I thought he was going to choke.
  Crap!  I didn't laugh.
  "Tommy!  Please, open the door.  I wasn't laughing.  Honest.  Please come out
of there."
  "NO!  Just leave me-alone.  Your Mom-can take me home and then you-can laugh
and-make jokes all you want-'cuz I don't CARE."
  This was terrible - worse than before, when I thought he hated me.  I felt
something wet on my cheek.  "That's not true, Tommy.  I would never laugh at
you," I said.  "You're my best friend."
  He just kept crying.
  I stood there with my head against the door and my gut at my feet, hating
myself, for a long time.
  Then I knew what to say.  The thing that had made me smile, when he'd told me
his "secret."
  I wiped my nose and my eyes on my shirtsleeve and then, softly, almost as a
whisper, I said, "Tommy?  I know you're really mad at me.  I'm sorry.  I really
am.  But I wasn't going to laugh at you, honest."
  "Stop it Travis, you can just c-cut it out.  I feel bad enough already."
  "No, really...  I just...  I thought it was so... cool - when you told me 'cuz... 'Cuz
I do it too...  Wet my bed I mean - I mean I used to..."
  "Cut it OUT, Travis!  You're just saying that!"
  "No 'Im NOT!"  I was mad now, and getting my t-shirt all wet and he didn't
even care!  Then softer again, "I can prove it."
  I waited.  I'd just told him my biggest secret in the whole world, but I
didn't care - he was my best friend.
  "That's stupid," he said, but he sounded calmer now.  "What're you gonna do,
go pee on your pretty bed - and then tell me you did it last night, so you can
laugh at me some more?"
  "No."
  Ha!  I had him now.  OK, one more thing, and - this time - I win.  You are the
most important thing in the whole world to me Tommy, and I hope you get that,
because...
  "Are you sitting on the toilet?"
  "Yeahhh... why?"
  "OK.  See the sink in front of you?  Open the door under it - the one way on
the right."
  This was it!
  I heard him sniffle, and then silence.  Please.  Please look there!
  I heard the snap of the door magnet.  Then more silence.
  I waited.
  "Tommy?..  I don't care if you come out or not, but could you uh, pass me out
a Kleenex?  I got snot all over the place out here..."
  Silence again.  I waited.
  The door opened a crack and a pink tissue appeared.  I grabbed it.
  The door closed again.
  I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.  "I think I need another one," I said.
  The door opened a crack.  No Kleenex.
  I pushed the door open a bit, then a bit more - then all the way.
  There was my best friend in the whole world, who knew my biggest secret now,
standing there with puffy eyes and wet cheeks, holding a big box of Kleenex in
one hand, and a "Goodnites" big kid diaper in the other.
  I grabbed a Kleenex from the box, blew my nose again, smiled and said, " I
win."
  Tommy just stood there for a second, he looked at the "Goodnites" in his hand,
and then at me.  "These are yours?" he asked innocently, his eyes on mine.
  "No dummy - they're my Dad's.  He just hides them in my bathroom so my Mom
won't find out."
  Tommy was out of it.  He didn't get the joke.
  He just turned in a daze to the cupboard he'd opened, and knelt down.
  There was a big box of "Goodnites"(about half-gone), three pairs of plastic
pants, a pink bottle of Baby Magic wash, and another of lotion, a plastic
container of Baby Wipes, and a partly used tube of diaper rash ointment.
  "This is all yours?" he asked as he started taking things out and looking at
them.
  I knelt down next to him.  "Yup."  This was amazing.  I was proud of my
bedwetting now.  So weird.
  And he didn't hate me.  My cheeks were wet again.
  Oh Crap!  There was more!  I grabbed his arm and said, "C'mere."
  I led him to the side of my bed.  He hadn't even heard it when he climbed up
and sat there before.
  I pulled up the sheet and showed him the plastic liner I'd put there when my
Mom told me to clean up my room.  I hadn't used it for almost two years, since
the day my Mom talked me into going back to diapers, so I wouldn't have to wake
up wet all the time.
  Crap.  Did he think I was that stupid!?  I'd heard that familiar rustle on his
bed before, and I'd smelled the faint scent of dried-up pee in his room.  But I
was his best friend.  What was I s'posed to say?  Ooooooh, I see you pee-pee in
your bed too, huh Tommy?
  He just stood and stared at the liner.
  He was REALLY out of it now - and so was I.
  I couldn't help it, I'd had that feeling, really strong, since I saw him
standing there in the bathroom with his face all wet, holding one of my
"Goodnites".
  I turned toward him, and put my arms out and hugged him tight.
  So tight...  Like there was nothing else but that.  I wanted to feel his warm
body against mine.  Wanted my best friend to know that I'd never meant to hurt
him.
  Crap! Now I was going to start crying again.
  Then I felt something strange.  Something warm, and sweet and soft.  Like
home.  Like a dream where you get what you want.
  It was Tommy's arms around me, holding on to me like someone had put superglue
on 'em.  Now he was bawling again too!
  I held him as tight as I dared as his hot tears fell on my neck, and waited
'til I could see again.
  I felt for Tommy's hand and found it.  He was still holding the diaper.
  We both looked down at it.  Then he took his other hand from around me and
opened it up.
  He rubbed his fingers and thumb over the plastic outside part and the elastic
around the leg openings and then slowly over the inside front part of the stay-
dry liner.  Then he looked up at me with a sweet smile.
  Quit being so DARN cute, will ya?  "Nice, huh?" I said.  "They're wicked soft
and comfortable."
  He turned bright red, and then he got a look on his face that I'd never seen
before.  He leaned forward, and kissed me.  His lips right on mine!
  Whoa!  Crap!  Wow!!  I felt that electric feeling again, the one I'd had when
he'd touched my hand in the dining room.
  "Heyy!" I said out of surprise.  "What'd you do that for?"
  "Sorreee," he said.  He took a step back.  "But YOU can do anything you want
to, right?  Mister; hugged-me-in-the-bathroom-before!"
 I bit my lip.  He knew.
  This was a game we played to make fun of our Moms when they called us things
like; Mister-covered-with-dirt, or; Mister-I-hate-liver.  Usually we called each
other stuff like; Mister-poop-head, or; Mister-booger-brain or something like
that, but he just called me "Mister; hugged me-in-the..."
  Crap!  He knew.
  I couldn't think of anything to say.  This wasn't fair!
  But he looked small and hurt - again.  I remembered how I'd felt, when he was
on the other side of my bathroom door a few minutes ago.
  "I'm sorry," I said.  I took a step forward, and grabbed his hand.  "You just
surprised me."  Wow!  Kiss me again, Tommy!  Please!!?
  "Boys?"
  That was my Mom, she was in the kitchen.  I could tell from the sound.
  Crap!  I'd never even heard the car!  How long has SHE been here?
  Tommy's eyes went wide.  I saw panic there, and felt it in myself too.
  "Turn the computer on," I whispered.  "And gimme that."  I grabbed the
"Goodnites" out of his hand.
  I scrambled back into my bathroom, threw the diaper into the box, piled the
rest of the stuff that Tommy had taken out back in, and closed the cupboard
door.  She was gonna be here any minute.
  "What do I do now?" Tommy hissed as the computer came up.
  I pulled a chair over.  "Nothing," I said as I grabbed the keyboard and
quickly logged on.  Oh Crap!  Please don't let her come in yet!
  Wait a minute, what am I worried about?  We didn't do anything bad...
  I felt Tommy's hand on my leg.  "You're so cool, Travis," he whispered.
  Yah, right.  Cool.  I'm cool.  I didn't even have the sense not to laugh at my
best friend when he tells me he has a problem, even though I used to wet my bed
too.
 I was too worried about how cute you are, and what the heck is going on, and I
haven't even TOLD you about all of THAT, yet.
  "Hi kids.  I see the house is still here - Everything OK?"  My Mom stood in
the doorway to my room, leaning against the doorjamb.
  As if she didn't know.  Usually she just hollered from the kitchen for help
with stuff.  But tonight was different.
  "Who wants to help me put stuff away?"
  I looked at Tommy.  Relief.  Pure relief was what I saw on his face.
  I grinned and squeezed his hand.  "We both will!" I said, jumping up.  "I'm so
glad you're back, Ma."  I ran to her and hugged her.
  "Well...  What's all this?" she asked.
  Tommy stood up and walked over by my side.
  "Nothing," I said.  "We're just hungry.  What'd you get for dessert?"
  "You'll see."
  Oooh, this was going to be something special.  I had learned not to ask
questions.
  "Are you online, Travis?"  She glanced at the computer screen.
  "Uh, yeah, we were just checking out a wrestling site that..."
  "Well, why don't you stay here then - while Tommy helps me with the
groceries?"  She grabbed him by the hand.  He shrugged and smiled as she pulled
him out into the hallway. **
  What now?
  I don't care.  Crap, this day's been so weird, I don't care what happens next.
  My best friend doesn't hate me.  He pees in his bed, that's all; just like a
little baby - like I used to do.
  It had only been a few months since I didn't need my "Goodnites" anymore, but
I remembered fondly what it had been like; I missed the extra attention I had
gotten from my Mom.
  I strained my ears toward the kitchen and heard low voices, and the rustling
of plastic grocery bags.
  When I got to the kitchen a few minutes later Tommy was taking toys and stuff
out of his backpack, and Mom had water boiling for the shrimp.
  She cooked while we played in the living room with a new puzzle game Tommy
had.
  When the shrimp were cooked and cooled, she called us.
  "Wanna help?" I asked getting up.
  "K," Tommy said and followed.
  I went into the kitchen, crawled up onto a stepstool and took three cocktail
cups out of the cupboard.
  "Just make two, honey," Mom said.  "I'll eat later."
  She did that a lot.
  I took a head of lettuce out of the fridge and started breaking it up into the
cups while Tommy watched.
  "Here, Tommy," Mom said as she handed him a bowl of shrimp.
  He looked at me.
  "Put 'em on top," I said as I reached for the cocktail sauce on the fridge
door.
  He took the bowl and stood there.
  I put the bottle on the shelf and turned toward him.  Poor guy - he didn't
know what to do.  His face was all red and said, "Help."
  I reached into the bowl, took out a couple of the curled up pink things and
placed them in the cups on top of the lettuce, "Just put 'em on top - like this,
K?"
  I hadn't even thought about it, but I'd put my other hand on his shoulder, and
gently pulled him to the counter.
  "OK," he said as he reached into the bowl.  He gave me one of those "thanks"
smiles I had seen in my room earlier.  There's that feeling again.
  I think I'm starting to get used to it, when his face lights up like that for
me.
  "Can I help with anything else?" I asked my Mom.  I loved cooking with her.
Probably because I loved eating the stuff she made.  Raw cookie dough is
awesome.
  She was smiling and trying not to look at us, concentrating on a recipe that
she already knew.
  "No, honey.  Thanks.  You two just go play, and I'll let you know when
dinner's ready."
  "Can we go outside?"
  She glanced up at the cat clock that had been there forever.  "Um... Sure.  Just
don't go too far.  It'll be ready soon."
  Tommy put the empty bowl in the sink as I opened the bottle of sauce, put a
little on top of both cups, and opened the fridge.  "When's Dad coming home?"
  Mom sighed and said, "...Well, it was supposed to be a surprise because he's not
sure, but maybe tonight."
  "Yeahhhhh!!" I yelled.  "Really?"
  "Maybe."
  "I hope so."  My Dad was a computer consultant and he traveled sometimes to
get to clients that had money.  It sucked not having him around all the time,
but he always brought me home cool stuff.
  "I said maybe," Mom said seriously.  "And I don't even know if he'll be able
to get here before bedtime, so don't count on it, OK?"
  "OK, Mom.  I won't.  But it would be cool if he could get here for dessert."
My Dad loved sweets as much as I did, and if I told her about all the candy and
stuff he shared with me sometimes, she'd KILL him.
  Tommy was already headed for the door, and I followed.
  He was outside and I was almost out the door when I heard her say in a hoarse
whisper, "Travis - come here."
  I turned around.
  She put both hands on my shoulders, bent down and looked me in the eye, her
face right next to mine.  "You - are the best little boy in the whole world,"
she said.
  What the...?
  "I told Tommy he could trust you."  She shook her head.  "I already knew about
Tommy, and Wendy and I had already talked about this before..."
  My eyes widened.
  "Yes, honey - she knows about you too, and she's glad that Tommy has a little
friend like you who understands..."
  I froze.  All I could feel was betrayal.  She promised she would never tell.
  "Mo-om..." I stamped my foot. "You - told her?"  I felt tears coming.
  "I know, Travis.  I'm sorry I told, but I knew you guys would want to sleep
over sometime, and she told me about Tommy first, so I told her about you so
that she would know that you wouldn't pick on him when you found out.  That's
why she said yes."
  Just then, Tommy opened the door.  "Travis?"
  Mom wrapped her arms around me.  "You really are the best, and Tommy is the
luckiest..." she whispered in my ear.  She let me go and I ran for the door.

  The rest of the afternoon went by quickly.
  It was one of those warm, humid summer days - with sweet-smelling grass, a
thick haze in the air, and puffy clouds painted on light blue sky.
  We climbed, ran, chased, and wrestled in our little boy fantasy worlds, making
up the games and the rules to them as we went along.
  Tommy had just shown me another winning wrestling move.  He sat on top of me
with branches and leaves and pieces of sky behind his smiling face.  His hair
shone bright in the sun and a few tight, darker wet curls wound around his ears
and neck.  A piece of grass hung from one side of his bangs.
  I reached up and picked it out.
  Tommy settled back against my legs a little more, and something under him
stirred again. His hands rested lightly on my stomach.
  I looked into his eyes and got lost there.
  The corners of his mouth turned up.
  "What?" I asked quietly.
  He glanced away, and then back, smiling still.  "I'm glad you're my best
friend, Travis."
I had that funny feeling in my chest again, and something near my waist tickled
hard, but this time I didn't care.  "Me too," I said.
  I watched as my hands reached up by themselves and my fingers wrapped lightly
around Tommy forearms.
  Suddenly, I was floating up toward him.  No - he was bending down.
  My hands slid up Tommy's arms as his face came closer.  I felt soft cotton
brush against the backs of my hands as they slipped up inside the sleeves of his
t-shirt. Tommy's chest pressed lightly against mine, and my hands slipped around
his strong, damp shoulders as our lips met.
  I closed my eyes, and let his kiss fall over me like a soft, warm blanket.
Then it was over.
  I open my eyes and focused on his face above mine.  There were two beads of
sweat running down from the blonde curls in front of his ears, and he wasn't
smiling anymore.  It was that same strange, serious look I'd seen on his face
before in my room, right before he'd kissed me the first time.
  I didn't even know if I was breathing.  I didn't care.
  I pulled one hand out of his shirt and put it in the soft, thick hair at the
back of his neck, and pulled just slightly on his shoulder with the other.
  He lowered himself slowly, and kissed me again.  I kept my eyes open this
time, to find that his were open too.  It was like looking into the whole world,
all at once.
  Our lips stayed together a few seconds this time, parted, and then met again.
Then Tommy put his head on my shoulder, took a deep breath and let out a long
soft sigh.
  I took in the sweet scent of my best friend's sweaty little body as he lay on
top of me and wondered why people use deodorant and stuff.
  I closed my eyes and felt two hot streaks run slowly down either side of my
face.
  We stayed that way for a minute, the pressure of his body against mine at
last, and his warm breath on my neck.  Then Tommy pulled himself up, rolled off
of me and lay on his back in the grass next to me.
  I lay next to him watching the sky for a minute, then I reached down between
us, found his hand, and slipped mine under it.
  He curled his fingers around mine and squeezed.
  I squeezed back.  "Tommy?" I asked.
  "Yeah?"
  "You're the best kid in the whole world, and I'm really glad you're sleeping
over tonight."
  "Me too..."
  The clouds looked like a horse, and a duck, and tall buildings.
  "Travis?" He squeezed my hand again.
  "What?"
  "Are you sure it's OK?  I mean - what if..."
  "Boyyyys!!!!"
  We both jumped and let go of each other's hand.
  "Dinner's ready!!"  It was Mom, yelling out the kitchen door.  We were close
enough to hear her yet not within her sight, but Tommy's face was all red and I
was pretty sure mine was too.
  "Alriiight," I said, getting up.  "Let's go."
  I headed for the house but Tommy caught my arm.  "Travis, wait."
  "What?"
  "What if... you know..."  He was starting to tear up again.  I could see it in his
face that he was still worried about tonight.
  I put a hand on his shoulder.  "Don't worry," I said.  "It's gonna be OK.  And
you don't even have to tell my Mom 'cuz I still have accidents sometimes, so
she'll just think it was me."
  "Really?  You do?"
  "Yeah, sure.  Just once in a while," I lied.  "Anyway, you don't have to
worry, 'cuz we can both wear my "Goodnites" if you want, and my bed has the
liner on it, 'member?"
  "Oh, yeah..."  Now he was smiling again.
  There was that feeling.  I put my arms around him and held tight.  "OK, so
let's go eat!  I'm starved, aren't you?"
  "Yeah, kinda.  Hey Travis?"
  His face clouded up again for a second.  "Can you uh..."  He looked at the
ground then back up at me.  "I mean - would you...  Can we..."
  I knew what he was asking.  It looked the same on him as it felt inside of me.
  I still had one arm around him.  "Yeah, sure..." I said with a smile.  Of
course! Crap!  Whadd'ya waiting for???
  He put an arm around my waist and blushed.
  I leaned forward and kissed him softly.  He returned it a little harder, and I
felt his other arm around my back.
  I leaned back. "OK, now can we go eat?"  He looked so serious.
  I grinned and rolled my eyes.  "Boy, you are such a pain sometimes."
  He looked hurt for a second and then he saw the smile on my face.  He let me
go and said, "You started it."
  "Did not."
  "Did so."
  "Nuh-uh."
  "Yes you did, Travis." His eyebrows came up.
  I grabbed his hand and turned toward the house.  "OK, so I did," I said
plainly.  "So what?"
  "So... nuthin," he said, as we started back together.
  We washed up in the downstairs bathroom and walked into the kitchen.  My Mom
was wearing her apron.  "I hope you two are hungry," she said.
  The house was filled with such a wonderful smell.  Even if we hadn't been
hungry when we walked in, we were now.
  "You bet," I said as I walked to the oven and reached for the door.
  "Hey!  Get-out-of-there, and let me see those hands!"  I turned to her with
palms up and Tommy followed suit.
  "OK, not bad," she said after turning our hands over to inspect them.  "Now go
and sit down."
  I looked into the dining room, then back at her with big eyes.
  "Yes, that's right Travis - tonight is special, so don't spoil it."
  I went in and sat down.  Two places were set - with the special antique
dishes, and extra forks and candles and everything.
  Tommy followed slowly and sat across the table from me.
  Mom walked in with her apron on, a pencil in one hand and a pad in the other.
  "Good evening Sirs," she said.  "Our specials tonight are: Baked stuffed
Haddock with lobster stuffing, Prime Rib au jus, and Pasta fizool whatever.  All
are served with potato or rice, and the vegetable of the day."
  If I'd had a quarter for every time I'd heard this one.
  On "special" nights either Mom or Dad would pretend to take our orders and
serve us - the first choice listed off was always whatever was in the oven, and
Mom always cooked.
  I smiled at Tommy.  He was about to be introduced to one of our family games.
He looked confused and scared.
  "We'll both have the Haddock," I said.
  "Very well, sir," Mom said without a smile, as she pretended to write.
  "And we'd both like the shrimp cocktail appetizer," I said, with an air of
authority.
  "Very good, sir," Mom said. "And to drink?"
  "Two large beers, please."
  This brought a disapproving glance from the "waitress," and a smile from my
best friend.
  "Uh... Milk, please."
  "Very good, sir," Mom said as she turned away.
  Tommy watched in amazement.
  I just smiled and said, "I hope you're ready to eat some really good stuff,
Tommy."
  We ate our meals like two starving, energetic little boys, and washed them
down with big glasses of milk.
  Mom made it just right for us - not too rich, but plenty of it.
  The candles were less than half gone when she took our empty plates.  "Would
you care to order dessert?" she asked.
  She knew better than to ask me, and Tommy was silent, waiting for me.
  "Yes, please, Mom," I said wiping my mouth.
  Two plates appeared in front of us, a huge light brown mound of curly, wet
spikes on each.
  Meringue!  She hadn't done this since we'd all celebrated buying the house!
  It was baked Alaska.  Ice cream done the best way!
  I scrambled down from my chair and hugged her.  "Thanks Mom, this is sooooo
great!"
  She pulled me from her waist.  "And you guys are the best.  Just dig in and
enjoy," she said with a smile as she pushed me back to my chair.
  Tommy was speechless, as he had been since had I ordered dinner for him.
  When both plates had been scraped clean, Mom said "OK you two, I'll clean up
while you get ready for bed."  She shot a look at Tommy.
  "Awww Mom," I said, "It's only seven-thirty.  It's not even dark out yet."
  "Never mind what time it is.  You've both had a long day, and you'll go to bed
when I say so. Now go brush your teeth and get into your jammies.  Then you can
play for awhile before bed.  You can take your baths together in the morning."
  After a dinner and dessert like that I knew better than to argue - and no
bath!  "OK, Mom."
  I folded my cloth napkin and set it next to my plate.  Tommy did the same,
following me as I headed toward the hall.
  I went to my room, opened a dresser drawer and pulled out a clean pair of
pajamas and put them on my bed expecting to see Tommy come in.
  He didn't.
  I waited.
  I pulled off my shirt, put it in the laundry basket, then stepped to the door
and peered down the hall.  Where was he?
  There he was, heading up the hall toward me with his backpack in his hand.
  I ducked back inside and took my jeans off.
  Tommy came in and stood there with a sheepish smile, holding his backpack.
  "Did you bring pajamas?" I asked.  "If you didn't I have some you can wear."
"I've got Star Wars, and Replicators, and Dinosaurs..."
  "No... I mean, thanks, but I'm all set," he said.
  "Ok, Tommy," I said with a smile.
  "Hey, Travis?"
  "Yeah?"  I was about to pull my PJ bottoms on over my underpants and hoped
that I'd get to watch him do the same.
  Tommy was turning bright red again.  "Uh... You're Mom got these for me when she
went shopping, and she said you knew... And it would be OK..."  He was looking like
he was going to cry again.
  Out of his backpack he pulled a two-pack of "Goodnites."
  I couldn't believe it.  My Mom was so cool.
  She knew.  She knew but she didn't tell.
  I looked at my best friend.
  He looked at me.
  I almost started to laugh because he was so cute, and I had already worn
diapers for so long.  I was planning to offer him one when we went to bed, but
now would be OK.
  He just stood there, so I went over to him and took the two-pack out of his
hand.  I looked at it and said, "Geez, I wonder why she thought of these..."
  Tommy eyes were all wet.
  "Just kidding," I said. "This is great, you want to try one now?"
  Tommy was shaking and crying.
  "What's wrong?" I asked.  "It's OK, Tommy.  I'll wear one too, if you want."
  "NO!" he yelled.  "I don't want you to Travis.  You're NOT a baby anymore, but
I - I have to."
  Now what?  Was he going to lock himself in my bathroom again?
  I laid my pajama bottoms on the bed with a sigh.
  I was standing there in my underpants, next to my best friend who was afraid
to put a diaper on.  What could I do?
  I leaned forward and put one hand under his chin, and pulled it toward me and
put my lips right on his, like he asked me to do before we came in to dinner.
  He just stood there and let me kiss him.
  "Tommy," I said, "You're not a baby, and you don't have to wear anything you
don't want to."  Then I reached over and grabbed the two-pack, ripped it open
and put the diapers on my bed.
  He looked at me with wet eyes.
  I reached to my waist with both hands, pulled my plain white underpants to the
floor and stepped through them.  I held them up and tossed them toward the
basket.  I missed.
  Tommy was looking at me all naked, and I could tell he didn't want to snap me
with a towel just then.  Who cares if he's looking?  I kinda like it, and at
least he's not crying anymore.
  I reached onto the bed and took one of the diapers and opened it up.  I put it
to my face and breathed in.  It smelled soft and clean and sweet.  I could feel
my pee-pee growing in the cool night air, but I didn't care.
  I looked at Tommy and smiled and bent over and slipped the "Goodnites" on.
  "Your turn now," I said as I picked up the other pair.
  There it was again.  That feeling inside me.
  Tommy slowly pulled his pants off, then his little Hulk undies, threw them
toward the basket and said, "OK, Travis."
  I held the "Goodnites" open for him as he stepped in.  I pulled them up to his
knees and then let go and let him pull them the rest of the way up.
  This was way too cool.  My best friend already let me kiss him twice and even
asked me to kiss him once, and now he was wearing the same diapers as me!
  I turned Tommy toward the mirror and stood next to him as we looked at
ourselves in our diapers.
  "You look silly," Tommy giggled.
  I just smiled back as he waddled up to the mirror.  He turned around as far as
he could, looking at himself.  He slid his hands down over the front of the
"Goodnites" then ran them slowly around the back, too.
  He looked so cute standing there checking himself out.
  I walked up to the mirror.  "Pretty cool, huh?" I asked.
  Tommy turned a little red, and smiled at me in the mirror. "Yeah, I guess," he
said softly.  "They are nice and soft, but it feels kinda funny when I walk."
  "Don't worry, you'll get used to it," I said as I put my arm around him.
  He moved one of his hands from the front of his "Goodnites" to the front of
mine, and felt the soft outside covering.  "You used to wear these all the
time?" he asked.
  I nodded my head.
  "And you don't mind wearing one tonight?"
  "Course not," I answered.  "It'll be fun."
  The truth was that I had forgotten how nice and warm and secure I'd felt when
I had a diaper on.  I was going to enjoy this night.
  We put our pajamas on - I chose Dinosaurs, and Tommy's had little bears all
over them - then we brushed our teeth, and crinkled back out into the living
room to watch TV.
  TV was kind of boring that night, so when my Mom said it was time for bed, we
didn't argue too much.
  Tommy said we'd better use the bathroom before bed, and he went first.
  Mom came in to my room just then, and gave me a good-night hug.  Then she
swatted my diapered butt, winked, and said, "I thought so."
  I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.
  "I knew you'd make Tommy feel OK.  And if..."
  Just then Tommy came out of the bathroom, pulling up his pajama bottoms.  I
could see the diaper material sticking out at the top.  He saw my Mom and pulled
them up quickly, turning pink.  Boy, he sure blushed a lot.
  My Mom gave him a quick hug, and kissed the top of his head.  "Good-night
Tommy," she said.  "I'm glad you could sleep over tonight."
  Then she turned back to me and gave me another hug.  I felt a tug on the waist
of my dinosaur pajamas.  Then I felt her pull them down a bit in the back, pull
them back up and then let them go with a loud - SNAP!  Tommy was standing behind
me, watching.
  My jaw fell open.  "Mo-ommmm," I wailed, grabbing my PJ's and hiking them up
as far as they would go.  "What'd you do that for?" I bawled.
  "I'm sorry, honey,' she smiled.  "My ring got caught."  She winked again but
not at me.
  I heard something behind me and turned around.
  Tommy was standing there with wide eyes and both hands over his mouth.  He
made a funny noise through his nose and started to giggle.
  "It's not funny, Tommy," I said.  I took a step toward him and reached for the
waist of his PJ's.
  He screamed and ducked into the bathroom.  A second later he poked his head
around the door. "I'm sorry Travis."
  I knew he meant it, and I knew that my Mom was just getting Tommy to laugh
after she'd seen what he had on.  She was always good at that.  But I was mad,
and embarrassed.
  "You better be," I said.
  "I am.  Really," Tommy said coming around the door.
  "OK," Mom said.  "Now into bed with both of you."  She turned and walked out
into the hallway.
  After she went out I reached out and grabbed Tommy's teddy-bear bottoms and
pulled them to the floor.
  He screamed again, real loud this time, and bent over to pull them up.
  I put my hands on his shoulders and gave a shove just hard enough to land him
on his padded fanny.  I grabbed the waist of my own PJ's and pulled them to the
floor too, and then I jumped on top of him.
  He was totally surprised, and I almost had him pinned but he wriggled out from
under me and started running around looking for his teddy bottoms.  I found them
first and picked mine up too.  I held them both as high as I could over my head
and turned and ran.
  Tommy chased me in circles.  I doubled back a couple of times, and we slipped
on the floor in our socks.  I couldn't help it - I had that feeling again.  He
was so cute, chasing me around my room in his diaper.
  We started laughing and screaming and running slower, then...
  "BOYS!"  Mom was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips, trying to
hide a smile.
  "YIKES!" Tommy screamed in falsetto.  He tried to cover himself in front with
both hands, then gave up and dove onto the bed.  His diapered butt stuck up in
the air as he tried to burrow under the covers.
  Between that and her eight year old son standing in the middle of the room
wearing a diaper, panting and holding two pairs of pajama bottoms in his hands,
it must have been a pretty funny sight because she just burst out laughing.
  Tommy poked his head out from under the blankets.
  Mom walked over to me, took the PJ's out of my hands and said, "OK kids, that
looked like fun, but I want you to put these back on, and go to sleep now."
  "I'm not coming back out," Tommy said.
  "Do we have to wear 'em Mom?" I asked.
  "No, I guess not," she sighed.  "It's warm enough tonight."  She put the
pajama bottoms on the back of a chair, and pulled back the edge of the blankets
for me.  Tommy held on to his side of the blanket for dear life as I crawled in
next to him.
  Mom pulled up the covers, brushed the hair out of my face, kissed me lightly
on the forehead and said, "Good night boys.  And I mean it this time."
  Then she turned the little fan that was on the desk on low, turned out the
light and closed the door.
  I lay there on my back for a minute, listening to the fan and the crickets
outside.
  Tommy snuggled up to me on his side.  As he put his head on my shoulder, I
slipped an arm around him.  "Your Mom is so cool," he whispered.
  "Yeah, I know."  My head was spinning.  He wets the bed too.  I can feel his
diaper against my leg.  He just put one leg up over mine.
  I've been wanting him to sleep over for a long time - but all of this...  Can a
little boy like me truly have all of this happen?
  It's too much to think about - but it's happening and I am caught up in it -
though I feel like I am watching it from very far away.
  I reached down and put a hand on the side of Tommy's "Goodnites," ran it
slowly up to his shoulder, and then wrapped it around his back, and held tight
as I could.
 The warmth of his body next to mine brought me back.
  This was real.
  His soft, innocent spirit under my hand - this was what I wanted - what I
needed.  This was really real.
  My best friend.  In a diaper like me.  Like a baby - with that painted doll
face that made me think funny thoughts.  That's what this was all about.  I
squeezed my legs together and felt the thick diaper between them.
  Tommy sighed a soft, warm breath into my chest.  "G'nite, Travis," he
whispered.  "You're my best friend in th'whole world..."
  "G'nite Tommy," I whispered back.  My nose tingled, and my eyes felt warm.
  Good-night, my Baby-Doll.  I love you.

  I woke up a couple of hours later to the sound of my father's whispering voice
filtered through the fog.  "I wish I'd been home sooner..."
  Another voice came through - low and masculine.  "Yeah, me too."
  Then my dad again, "God... just look at them - our two little angels.  It must
be wonderful to sleep like that."
  "Yeah..."  It was Tommy's father.  "They look so happy like that.  I wonder if I ever had it so good..."
  "And Tommy is so handsome," my Dad broke in.  "What a beautiful son you have,
Terry."
  "Thanks, but Travis is the real looker - all that hair and those big eyes -
he's gonna break some hearts..."
  My dad chuckled.  "Maybe, but Tommy is definitely the better looking of the
two."
  "No way.  Travis is."
  "Is not."
  "Is too."
  "Is not."
  "Is so..."
  Then a strained hiss from the hall, "BOYS!!!"
  That was my Mom.
  "You two come out of there - right-now! - before you wake them up."
  More low chuckling, and the sound of a door closing gently.
  I opened my eyes to darkness, my ears to the sounds of the night outside my
window and my heart to the soft, warm body cuddled next to mine.  I sighed, and
slept again.