Date: Mon, 29 Mar 2004 11:41:04 +0800 From: mr malaprop <mr_malaprop@graffiti.net> Subject: lost rainy boy - Young Friends - complete [b/b, no sex] Thanks to somebody, except I can't remember who, for the original idea. If you supplied the idea please let me know and I will give you due credit - my mind is too befuddled to retain information for long unless I write it down! Thanks too to my "critical & editorial team" of friends, HCFU, for their invaluable suggestions and comments. They have each helped me too much to relate, I love them all. None of the above are responsible in any way for any imperfections in this story, that responsibility rest solely with me. This is a work of fiction and the characters are purely inventions out of my own head. And finally: If you shouldn't, don't. If you don't like it, stop. If you want to flame me, you're wasting your time. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome at: mr_malaprop@graffiti.net The entire story is copyrighted c to malaka/mr_malaprop 2004 - HCFU -- Pissing down! Still fucking pissing down! What the fuck am I doing here? Why did I do it? Perhaps I can go home. Don't be stupid, of course you can't go home - are you thick or what? Have you forgotten what you did? And anyway it's pissing down. Still fucking pissing down! This bus shelter is fucking cold. The rain is fucking cold. The wind is fucking cold. I am fucking cold! It's not much of a bus shelter anyway - no glass left, just a top and four posts. Fucking useless with a wind blowing. This raintop ain't rainproof any more! I'm soaked right through. These trainers have seen better days too. My tears don't help. God, I wish I could stop crying. I wish I could go home. I know I can't, I can't ever go home again. Where the fuck can I go? Why did I do it? Stupid shit thing to do! Thirteen years old, well nearly, and crying my eyes out, how pathetic! Why did I do it? What a stupid-arse thing to do! I know they'll all hate me now. He'll tell everyone and they'll all hate me. I wish I could go home - hell, I don't even know which way is home any more! None of them down here will ever have heard of Ashton. Two days it's been. No money left, well fourpence ain't enough for anything. Where can I eat? How can I eat? What am I going to do? God, I miss home so much! I feel like a little kid crying for his mummy - but I miss her so much. She'll probably hate me now too, now that she knows she has a pervert for a son. Why the fuck did I do it? I held out for two years since I first wanted to do it so why do it now? Why couldn't I hold out a bit longer? Just a lifetime longer? I'm just a pervert, a sad pervert. But he's so beautiful! God, those eyes! I couldn't help it. Just thinking about him and I'm getting hard again! How can anyone cry so much? If he hadn't asked for help with his algebra it would never have happened. I'm not saying it's his fault, I did it. I hate this fucking rain! I'm so ashamed! But I so wanted to do it. God, I'm so sorry I did it! I wonder what he told his mother after I ran off? How could he tell her? What would she say about me running past her in their hall already crying? What am I going to do? I'm so cold and so hungry! I wish I could go home, I really, really want my mum. Mum, where are you? I love you so much, I'm so sorry I've done this to you! Please don't hate me! Please, please don't hate me! Mummy!! Three in the morning in Watford. Where the fuck is Watford? I've never heard of the place. I've heard of Walford, that's where Eastenders is from, but where the fuck is Watford? Watford, end of the fucking road! End of the fucking universe! My feet are so cold! All of me is so cold but my feet feel like ice. Why did I do it? Why is he so beautiful? Why do I get so hard every time I think of him? I miss him so much - but the way he looked at me when I did it - he was so shocked! He looked so shocked. I know he'll hate me now. He'll tell everyone else at school and they'll all hate me. Why did I have to kiss him? He just put his face close to mine to look at the work and I felt his hair brush my face and there was his cheek right beside mine. Why did I have to turn and kiss him? Why couldn't I just explain the equations again? God, he is so thick when it comes to that stuff! But he is so beautiful. I just had to kiss him. His cheek was right there beside mine, so soft and warm. So inviting. And I was so friggin' hard! I'd been hard ever since we sat down, and he had to sit so close to me, like our legs were fuckin' touching all the way down! It felt like I'd been hard ever since I first met him when we were eleven and went up to the comp, sorry, the High School, together. That day when we met our new form mates and he sat beside me and smiled that little smile of his. The one that just makes my stomach turn over. Oh God, why did I do it? Why was I so weak and stupid? Why can't he be good at algebra and then it'd never have happened? Why did you let me do it, God? Why did you let me kiss him? I am so cold and so tired. I've just got to sleep. -- Fuckin' police! Waking me up at that hour! Bastards! But it's so good to be warm again! And the tea and toast was wonderful, I wonder if they'll let me have some more later. I'm so stupid! I was half asleep when they asked and I told them my real name! SHIT! But I so want to see mum again. Even if she hates me I want to see her. I don't know how I'll face her but I really want to see her. I'm so scared! -- Oh God, how embarrassing! I didn't realise I'd've caused so much fuss! This social worker came and talked to me about running away from home and had I been abused and did my dad or anybody hit me or do anything to me! My dad would never do anything like that, he loves me. Well, he loved me before. I don't know if he'll still love me now. Why would he love a pervert? The silly bitch said that I might have to see the police doctor to check I'm okay. I'm scared about that too. I'd love a shower, I wonder if I can get a shower. I feel so stinky! -- They must've read my mind! First they told me I was going to a children's home for a little while, a few hours, until my parents came to get me. Then, when I got there, they let me shower then lent me some clothes whilst mine were being washed - they were stinky too. Wet and stinky and horrible. They gave me breakfast! A real breakfast with cereal and eggs and bacon and beans and toast and more tea. Then they gave me a bed! I never realised how nice it is to sleep in a real bed before. I snuggled down and I was gone, zonked, shoving out the zzzzzzs. They woke me up at lunchtime so I got dressed, in my own clothes again, then went down to eat with the staff and the one kid who was home from school - well, he's excluded for some reason. He was dead rough - and they all talk funny down here! Not Eastenders funny but just sort of strange and yokel like. After lunch the doctor came and saw me. We went into this little room and I had to strip off and he checked me all over. It was embarrassing enough him seeing my dick but it was ten times worse when he was looking at my arsehole. He asked lots of daft questions like the social worker woman asked. He asked about the bruise I got in the soccer match last week as well - I kept telling him that no-one's been hitting me. I hope they all believed me, I never meant to get my dad into trouble. -- I've been crying again! But it was so good to see the car pull up outside. I just dashed out the front door and ran to them. Mum was hardly out of the car and I was in her arms! Dad came round and held me too and it was a big hug then the little pest got out of the back and he joined in - it was even good to see him! God, it's weird but I reckon I even love my little brother! Crying wasn't so bad as we were all crying. Even my dad was crying! The staff came rushing out like they thought I was running away again. We all went inside and my dad had to have a chat with the boss man in the office, then the social worker woman arrived and went in with them too. Mum and I and the little pest just sat and held hands and cuddled and chatted a bit. She started off by telling me that she wasn't going to ask me why I ran away, that she was just glad that they had me back. She said that if one day I wanted to tell her that would be fine, but I didn't have to. She didn't give one of those pauses either, one of mum's special pauses expecting me to tell her everything anyway! And she didn't look at me funny so I don't think she can know what I did. I thought he'd have told everybody. Perhaps he hasn't told everybody. But I bet he has. Then dad came out of the office with the social worker and the boss and everyone was smiling. Dad said we could go home. He said he hoped I wanted to go, that they all wanted me to. I just cried again. The little pest came up and put his arms around me then took my hand and we all walked out to the car. Mum and dad got in the front with mum driving, and I got in the back with the pest. We all strapped ourselves in and I swear I was asleep by the time we turned the next corner. -- I woke up just past Birmingham. I had been dreaming about him again but this time he was screaming at me as I kissed him, it was awful! I was hard as an iron girder and dying for a piss. Mum pulled into the next service area, somewhere near Wolverhampton and I ran all the way to the bogs and locked myself in a cubicle. I sat there and cried. I pissed and thought of playing with it but couldn't - funny I was so hard a minute ago and now nothing! How can I ever face him again? How can I be in the same classroom? I wonder if they'll let me change schools? We set off again and I managed to stay awake even if I was beginning to shiver and shake a bit. Mum turned round to ask me something, dad was driving now, and she looked at me and told dad to pull over. He did and she put her hand on my forehead and said I had a temperature. She bundled me up in my coat and got a blanket out to cover me and we carried on to the next services where she got me a paracetamol and made me take it. It felt wonderful to be babied again even if I normally hate her fussing. When we got home she put me straight to bed and I was out like a light again. I was so tired! The following morning the doctor came to visit and she said I had a chest infection, not much surprise really after two days soaking wet in the middle of March. I was put on massive pills and told to stay in bed and warm for a few days. I don't remember much about the rest of that day at all - I was pretty out of it. The next day mum came in after she had seen the pest to school. Dad had gone to work because he'd already missed three days and they wouldn't let him have more time off. Ever since mum got made redundant things have been tight so he can't afford to upset his boss. She said that his mum had been on the phone and that she and him were both delighted that I was home - still no mention of what I did. When we got home the other night my mum had called his mum to tell her - they know one another from way back, from when they went to the same school we go to now - not close friends but, well, y'know. Anyway mum told me that when his mum told him he burst into tears! My mum told me that he had been on the phone two or three times a day whilst I was missing to see if they had heard anything. I slept away most of the rest of the day. Mum brought me some soup at lunchtime, her homemade vegetable soup that I always love but I couldn't eat much of it and then I was asleep again. Later on I was sort of lying there half asleep when the little pest burst into my room so it must have been after school time, and he started jumping all over me. To calm him down I pulled him into a hug and he cuddled in and we dozed for a while then he started sobbing. I asked him why he was crying and he said because he missed me so much and was frightened he'd never see me again. Then he told me he loved me! I kissed the top of his head - well, there's nothing queer about kissing your six year old little brother, is there? I told him that I loved him too, and I do - and I'm not ashamed to say it either! I just never realised it before. Whilst we were lying there mum came in with the cordless phone - she said that he was calling and did I feel strong enough to talk with him? I was really scared so said no, I couldn't face it now. I heard her tell him and I could just hear his voice and he sounded really sad. My mum told him to call back later to see if I felt any better. She scooted the pest off to get changed then sat on the bed. She told me that she didn't know why I ran away and she didn't want to know until I was ready to tell her but she knew it had something to do with him because his mum had told her about me running past her crying and then she had gone upstairs and he was crying too but wouldn't tell her why. She said that whatever it was it was better to face it than run away from it - and that the only way to face it was to face it! She said she wasn't going to force me but thought that I should talk to him. Oh God, I know she's right but how can I face him? She doesn't know what I did or what he'll be thinking - how can she says that. Sometimes I wish I was dead! He phoned again in the evening but I still wouldn't speak to him, even if I was dreaming about him all the time and then feeling really scared about what he was saying about me at school or to our mates on the estate. -- I'm still groggy today but I'm beginning to feel better. I ate more soup today, in fact I asked for seconds and could see from the beam on mum's face how pleased she was. I am still sleepy all the time and the morning and afternoon just sorted of faded away. The pest came in to see me again after school and we had a cuddle again, it felt really good. After a while I heard the doorbell go then mum came in the room and told the pest to go and change. When he left she came back in the room and she had him with her. HIM! He looked so beautiful! And I was so scared! Then I noticed I was crying, then I saw that he was crying too. Mum told us that she didn't know what was going on and didn't want to know but she wanted us to sort it out. She closed the door behind her and I heard her taking the pest downstairs to watch cartoons. The way she said we had to sort it out she meant it! He stood there by the door with tears rolling down his cheeks and I sat in bed doing just the same. Neither of us said anything. It was weird and eerie. Then we both started speaking together - he was trying to tell me how worried he'd been and I was trying to tell him how sorry I was. Neither of us would shut up and let the other finish. Then he came and sat on the bed. He was silent and I was silent. And he picked up my hand and held it for a minute just looking down at it. He mumbled to my hand something about how sad he was when I left him that day and ran away. He raised his eyes, his beautiful eyes and looked right into mine. It felt like he was looking into my soul. Then he leant forward. And he brought his oh so soft, oh so warm, oh so perfect lips to mine. The End