Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 12:46:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Over Rated <overratedartist@yahoo.com>
Subject: Loving Kyle - Chapter Four
Thanks to all of the readers who sent me comments about my story. I'm glad
you're all enjoying.
Chapter Four
The next few days at school went by and were ordinary. Since Kyle
was the only person I really talked to and I was the only person he talked to, I
didn't want to worry about the word getting out that I was gay. But, even if we
weren't the only people we talked to, I knew he still wouldn't tell because
that's just how Kyle is.
I wasn't ashamed of being gay or anything like that; I just didn't
want people to make fun of me anymore than they already did. I would tell the
whole school I was gay if I knew they wouldn't do anything. But, I know they
would. There weren't really any out-of-the-closet gay people at my school and
the ones that were weren't in my grade, so they wouldn't talk to me anyway.
It was Friday and Kyle and I had just gotten home from school. We were ready for
a three day weekend. (There was some teacher conference at school, so the
students had the day off.) We went to my house, as usual and on Fridays we
aren't really hungry, so we didn't make any food, although we probably would
later. We went straight into my room. Kyle went on my computer and I turned on
the TV to look for something to watch. Kyle liked playing World of Warcraft. I
was never a fan. I bought it, but I didn't like it, so it was basically Kyle's.
There's no good shows on when we get home from school, so I looked through the
movie channels and found a movie I liked, but hadn't seen in a while, so I left
it on.
I wasn't really watching the movie. I was more transfixed on Kyle. I kept
watching him play WoW. Even though he would pretty much just sit there, that was
enough for me. I just loved looking at Kyle in all his beauty; his perfection. I
was still upset that Kyle wasn't gay. I was feeling better, but still upset and
I wasn't quite over it. I kept true to my mental word, though. I did not make a
move on Kyle or anything like that, despite my constant want to do so. So, I did
what I could do; I looked at him. Pretty much any second I was near him, I would
just watch him. It was so nice to just see him be Kyle; to just see him say the
things he says and do the things he does.
It's weird. I loved Kyle and was in love with Kyle, but he wasn't one of those
boys that I just wanted to have sex with or anything. I just wanted to be near
Kyle. I wanted to talk with him, play video games with him, eat with him. It was
rare that I actually had a sexual thought about Kyle. Don't get me wrong, Kyle
is an absolutely gorgeous boy, but that wasn't one of the top reasons that I
loved him. When I was just in the presence of Kyle, I felt so different. I'm not
one of those cliché speakers. He didn't make me feel whole or make me feel like
I could do anything or something like that. Kyle just made me feel good and good
about myself with his kind words. Even though he wasn't tough or anything, I
felt safe with him. I felt as though if I was with him, it didn't matter what
other kids said about us, being near Kyle was shielding enough from harsh words.
There was just one problem with all of this; Kyle did NOT feel the same way
about me. To him, I was probably just his best friend, Spencer who likes to play
video games, watch movies, not talk to people and likes the same music as Kyle.
Nothing less, nothing more. That thought made me upset. But, hey, it was better
than nothing; better than not having a friend like him. Kyle could have easily
said that he didn't want to be friends with me anymore after I told him that I
was gay. But, he didn't. He still wanted to be friends with me; best friends.
When Kyle was done playing WoW, he logged off and turned to me in the spinny
chair.
"Tomorrow's gonna be so cool." He said.
"I know." I replied. "Going back home." I said laughingly.
Kyle and I were going to Montauk, New York for the weekend. My
parents were going to take us like they did the year before. Kyle's dad lets him
go, since he doesn't go anywhere. We weren't the kind of people who liked being
outside... ever, but there was one thing me and Kyle loved about outside; snow.
And since it was the middle of February, winter was coming to an end, so we had
to get in as much as we could because it wouldn't be snowing again until
November or December. We were going to a beach that I can't remember the name of
because we don't really care. I know what you're thinking; why would you go to a
beach in February while it's snowing? Well, Kyle and I hate beaches, but when
it's snowing on a beach at night time, that is like our perfect scenery for
outside. We just love it. I guess it's because since it's snowing, no one's
there but us, it's quiet, it's cold (and we like the cold), it's dark and we can
just hang out without anyone bothering us. (If you've never done this, I highly
recommend it; it's great.)
"Don't forget your gloves this time." I told him.
"I won't." He replied. "And I didn't forget them last time either. I
put them in my pockets and when we got there, they were gone."
"I'm sure that's exactly what happened." I said sarcastically.
The next day, I was up and getting ready for Montauk early. Well,
what I call early for a weekend. 9:30 am. Even though I don't really remember
living in New York, it's nice to back to the place I was born; to feel like I
have a connection with something.
Kyle was dropped off by his dad a few minutes later and he came up
to my room with his bag to help me pack. Kyle probably packed the day before,
but I was so excited, that I forgot.
"I can't wait." Kyle said helping jam my clothes into my bag.
"Me either." I replied. "I can't wait to get to that beach. Do you
even know the name of it?"
"Nope." Kyle answered and we both laughed.
"Time to go, boys!" My mom shouted from downstairs.
"Let's go, then." Kyle said.
I was so happy. I was going to my favorite place with my favorite
person to just hang out. This was going to be awesome.