Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2010 01:15:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: Over Rated <overratedartist@yahoo.com>
Subject: Loving Kyle - Chapter Six

Chapter Six
            I was walking back to the hotel as slowly as possible; I didn't want
to face Kyle or my parents. At times, I contemplated whether or not I should
even go back to the hotel. I was so afraid. Did Kyle tell my parents? Would they
be angry at me? Obviously our friendship was over, but I still wanted my
parents' approval. But, it was too cold to not go back and it seemed to be
getting colder.
            When I arrived at the hotel, it was around 9:00. I used my card room
key to open the door and I did so as quietly as I possibly could in case Kyle
was asleep. I didn't want to disturb him any more than I already had. When I
walked in the lights were already out. This was a bit surprising as Kyle never
went to bed this early, but I guess given the circumstances, it made sense for
him to go to sleep and not want to face me. I saw him lying in the bed turned
away from the door. I tip-toed in and walked into the bathroom after setting my
hoodie and Kyle's gloves down on the floor.
I closed and locked the door and sat down on the toilet lid. I ran my hands
through my face while I continued to think. I still didn't know what I was going
to say to Kyle the next day. I had stopped crying, but my eyes were still watery
and puffy. I then stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I was so angry
with myself for pretty much screwing up my whole life with just one simple
mistake. As ashamed as I was of it, kissing Kyle was one of the best feelings
I'd ever had, even if it did last for only a split second and end in disaster. I
turned off the light and exited the bathroom.
I was too afraid to get in the same bed as Kyle and I knew if he woke up and saw
me in there with him, he probably would have shoved me off and yelled at me some
more, so I turned my hoodie into a pillow and laid down on the floor. I closed
my eyes, even though I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep that night, but I
needed to try and get some sort of rest. I just kept replaying the events over
in my head, upset with how horribly such a wonderful day had gone. Then I heard
something that at first I didn't believe.
"Spencer." It was Kyle's voice actually saying my name.
My eyes opened, not really able to see anything, but darkness, but I heard Kyle
turning over in the bed. I was afraid to respond.
"Yeah?" I asked very monotone.
"I'm sorry I called you a fag." Kyle said. It was strange to hear Kyle apologize
to me after what I had done to him.
 "It's okay." I said trying to sound like I didn't care. I wanted to apologize
to him, but I didn't quite know how to phrase "I'm sorry I kissed you."
It was silent for a moment while I still did not see Kyle nor did he see me.
"You don't have to sleep on the floor." He told me.
"I want to sleep here." I said still too afraid to confront him.
"I know you just don't want to confront me." He said. Kyle knew me too well.
"Fine." I said standing up and getting into the bed without looking at him in
the face.
Kyle then turned on the light and said, "I need to talk to you about what
happened."
"Why?" I asked sounding desperate and not wanting to talk about it.
"Cuz I do."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"Why?!"
"Because I'm gay."
"No, you're not."
"Yeah; I am."
I turned over and looked at Kyle who was sitting up with his back against the
wall. He was looking down.
"You told me that you weren't." I said.
"I know."
"So, why are you telling me now that you're gay?"
"Because I am, Spencer."
I was confused. Kyle told me that he wasn't gay, so why is he telling me now
that he's gay when he could have told me before?
"Then why didn't you tell me when I told you I was?" I asked.
"Cuz I was afraid to."
"Why? I told you I was. Why would you be afraid? I told you I was first."
"I know." Kyle said sounding very upset. "I was scared. I don't know why. I know
it seems weird, but I thought that you were saying that to try and make me tell
you that I was and make fun of me."
"Why would you think that? You were my best friend." I told him. "I wouldn't do
that."
"I don't know why." He said starting to sound desperate. "I told you it seems
weird. I was just so paranoid about anyone finding out. I didn't want anyone to
find out because then they would make fun of me and I was just convinced that
anyone, even my best friend would try to get it out of me. I just... I don't know...
I don't know why. I'm sorry."
I felt bad, I felt confused, I felt angry, I felt sad. Kyle was gay, but he
didn't want me to know because I might have told someone? I wouldn't do that to
him. Even if I would, who would I have told anyway? He's my only friend and the
only person I talked to anyway.
"Then when I kissed you," I began. "Why did you back away?"
"Like, I said, I didn't want you to know I'm gay." He answered. "...And because I
like you."
I went from looking down to looking straight. What did he just say?
"What?" I asked.
"I said `I like you', Spencer." He repeated.
That is what he said. He said he liked me. Kyle said that. Kyle said he liked
me. Kyle said to me that he liked me.
"Really?" I asked still avoiding looking at him.
"Yeah." He said.
I immediately moved over and hugged him. It wasn't a friend-type hug. I full on
wrapped my arms around him so quickly that Kyle's arms were still at his sides.
"Please tell me we're still friends, then, Kyle." I told him.
Kyle had a momentary laugh.
"We're still friends, Spence." He said. "Best friends."
I squeezed him even harder.
"Can I take part in this hug?" Kyle asked.
I opened my arms and let him wrap his arms around me and then we both squeezed
each other. I rested my chin on the back of his shoulder just savoring the
moment.
"Thank you." I said.
"For what?" Kyle asked.
"I don't know." I replied with so much relief in my voice. "Just thank you."
I was so happy right then.
"I love you, Kyle." I didn't mean to say that, but like before when I kissed
him, it was sort of involuntary from how happy I was. Kyle broke the hug and
pushed me back with his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.
"I love you, too." Kyle said and then kissed me. This was without a doubt the
best moment of my life. It was such a nice kiss. Well, I only had one other kiss
and that was with Kyle only a few hours ago and it went horribly. But, this was
different. It wasn't a hard kiss; it was soft and Kyle had his arms around me,
hugging me as I hugged him and our foreheads rested on each others'. Neither of
us really knew how to kiss, seeing as how neither of us had kissed anyone
before, but it was good enough for us. We then hugged again and I let out such a
big sigh of relief.
Kyle told me he loved me, he hugged me and he kissed me. This was such a crazy
day.