Date: Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:37:18 +0100
From: Michael James <michael.james78@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Memoirs of A DL - Chapter 1

Memoirs of A DL

Warning: The usual disclaimers apply here.  If you don't like any of the
following, leave now: gay sex, vulgar or harsh language.

This story is a work of semi-fact, however some scenarios and situations
have been adapted to make for a more interesting read.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1


I stepped out onto the path; the same path which I walked for those five
days a week. But this time was different. I didn't have to be here.

The path was long and almost looked endless. There were trees either side
which ran along side the path framing the track. It usually looked
picturesque; like a beautiful landscape painting. The sun's rays usually
shimmering through the tree leaves causing them rustle and sway in the
light breeze, illuminating the road below. But today was different the cold
harsh wind roared as the relentless rain beat down on my whole body causing
me to shudder. I was absolutely soaked through. My designer suit clung
uncomfortably to my skin, restricting my movement. I loved my suit!

It was a pinstripe black two piece suit. It was the most expensive item in
my wardrobe and I had to work for months to afford it. I loved the way I
felt when I put it on and loved the attention, and looks I would receive
whilst wearing it. But now it was in tatters and I knew it would take a
couple of trips to the dry cleaners to get it back to its former glory,
something which I was not looking forward to.

Questions began to haunt my head. Why was I here? Why was I walking this
long road? I could've been on my way home in the relative comfort of the
bus. Instead I had diverted; walking a route which was in the complete
opposite direction to that of my house. The answer to these questions was
walking right beside me, he's name was Sean.


As I looked to my right I stared at him. He's short hair which was usually
a light chestnut had become a dark brown from the rain and now lay tousled
flat on his head. He's emerald eyes glistened in the rain, looking onwards
nonchalantly. A tiny smile graced he's lips. I would have given anything to
know what he was thinking at that moment. I adored him.

This was the path which lead to he's house. He had asked me to walk him
home. Everyday after school I would always answer with a yes! Everyday I
would hope and pray that maybe today would be the day something happened
between us. A kiss, a hug even the slightest hint that he felt the same way
about me as I did about him. I would stubbornly hold onto this blind,
stupid hope.

As I stared at him my heart raced, butterflies filled my stomach; How could
I feel so happy and yet so sad at the same time; How could I feel so close
to someone and yet so distant. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was
too ashamed. It was pathetic. He's straight. I kept telling myself he
doesn't want you! But then there were times when he looked at me, and it
would feel like he saw right through me, those stunning green eyes which
burned through my soul setting my heart ablaze. Something about he's stare
would make me question how he did feel about me. It was almost as though he
was contemplating something and once again it would make me hope.

As we reached he's house it was time for us to part. This was the worst
part of the walk, the moment that my hope died. He gave me a dazzling smile
and thanked me for walking with him. I, in response faked a smile and said
my goodbye. As we walked our separate ways, it felt as though my heart was
breaking. We walking our separate physical ways was almost a metaphor for
what was occurring emotionally in my head. We were indeed walking separate
paths. As I walked away I could feel the spark of hope fading. My eyes
began to well up. It wasn't so bad I thought; at least the rain would hide
my tears. I sobbed uncontrollably, looking up at the dark, cloudy sky. It
hurt so bad. Why did I have to be this way, why me!?

From that moment on I knew; I knew that this had to stop. I needed to stop
being a fool. Why was I doing this to myself? Stop being so blind I told
myself. Accept reality.  From that moment I made a promise to never fall
again and thus opened a new chapter in my life...