Date: Tue, 14 Sep 2004 22:27:10 -0400
From: Jay Kool <jaykool74@hotmail.com>
Subject: My So Called Life - Chapter 10

"My So Called Life" -- Chapter Ten by Jay Kool (jaykool74@hotmail.com)


Epilogue or prelude or whatever you want to name it boys and bois... this
story series is fiction.  I admit that some events may resemble my life but
are not an entire match and some were observed but I have an active
imagination.  I would like to thank everyone who provided good feedback, I
appreciate it!  I apologize for the delay in the series btw.

I originally tried to get this story series published on
www.awesomedude.com along with a poem, but apparently my work wasn't liked
well enough (I wouldn't actually know since I never heard back).  If you
like, send them an email if you like my story to let them know what they
are missing.  Now on with the show...

--------------

	For the second time in my pitiful life I woke up in a hospital bed.
I'm a wimp what can I say, I'm not in denial.  I realize that I'm not
superman or even mighty mouse for that matter.  Just a seventh grader put
on this Earth with a target on my back so the bullies would know who to
harm, kids or adults.  My world was torn apart by my father who thinks that
I should forget about all of that because "he's in love".  Well fuck him,
my mother and I were in love with him before he dumped us.  He swore his
love in front of his family, my mother's family and God for her that he'd
never leave her except in death.  Apparently promises mean nothing to him,
my mother means nothing to him, and I mean nothing to him.
	The more my mind spun its wheels finding everything that was wrong
with the way my dad treated my mom and I, the tighter my stomach knotted up
until I had to get up and run to the bathroom where I puked my guts out.
After I was done I flushed and felt a little light headed like I might pass
out, otherwise I would've brushed my teeth instead of returning to bed.
	I crawled back in bed and I guess I passed out because I do not
remember having to fall asleep.  A nurse came in to check on me as I was
asleep and I guess she noticed that I had vomited and called the doctor.  I
woke up to his examining me in bed and started to freak out at first
forgetting where I was when he told me to calm down that I'd be okay.  He
also said that I needed to spend another day in the hospital, which was
fine with me because it kept me away from my lying cheating dad.  My
mother, dad and his girlfriend entered the room toward the end of the exam
where the doctor told them the news about extending my stay.  He instructed
them to leave with him that he needed to speak with them in private, which
made me feel real comfortable.  Was I dying or something and no one was
going to share the news?  I'd just rot away in a hospital bed and never see
Dave again.
	I guess the doctor noticed a pattern from what he was told; he told
my parents that I seem to have the problem of passing out quite a bit when
I face confrontation or when I am nervous.  He actually suggested to my
parents that I should talk to a psychiatrist, that I may be having anxiety
attacks.  I'd almost call him a quack, but he might be right.  I already
know I'm screwed up, I don't think my mom needs to pay a shrink a lot of
money to tell her, I'll tell her for free.  My mother broke the news to me
after my father left, I guess he figured it would be easier to hear coming
from her lips.  She held me in her arms lying next to me on the twin bed,
so close that I could smell her shampoo that smelled like apples.  She knew
how to break bad news to me in a way that didn't cause me to overreact or
to be really shocked.
	I guess I fell asleep as she was talking to me, because when I woke
up she was sleeping in the chair near the foot of my bed.  She looked so
peaceful, angelic in her slumber as the sunlight filtered through the
Venetian blinds.  She didn't deserve the punishment my father inflicted
upon us.  I dozed off again and soon the hospital was bringing me some of
their gourmet food.  Did I ever tell you I'm a bit sarcastic at times?
Needless to say I wasn't going to eat what they brought in and my mother
didn't lecture me this time about the starving kids in Africa.
	My mother and I talked about nothing really important, I asked her
how her trip was and she was happy to tell me.  I then apologized for
making her cut her trip short and she just hugged me telling me that I was
the most important thing in her life, that she can always go visit her
family later.  I could tell that she was sincere, trying to hold tears back
but failing miserably.  Why did I always have to make her cry?  Why
couldn't I just be a normal teenager like she deserved?  Opps I just
realized that I said the last question out loud...  My mother basically
told me to shut-up and to stop saying stupid stuff like that.  Her words
were a bit nicer than mine but I can take a hint, well sometimes I can take
a hint.
	I fell asleep again and I guess I was tired enough that the nurses
didn't wake me with their incessant checking up on me.  Morning, rather
earlier afternoon seemed to come quickly and I was awaken by my parents who
were ready to take me home.  My father surprisingly agreed to let my mother
take me home to Bloomington to spend Christmas.  I was ecstatic to say the
least.  The trip to the airport, the plane ride home and the drive to the
house were relatively painless.
	When we got home my mother stated that I looked tired so I went
upstairs to bed, not even David was present in my thoughts.  Hey maybe I
can surprise him and see him soon.  I went unconscious the moment my head
hit the pillow, I didn't even take off my clothes, or get under the covers.
I never turned on my light so I didn't have to turn it off.  Home sweet
home, so much better than staying with my dad.
	I guess my mother pulled my shoes and socks off and got me under
the covers tucking me in because when I woke up in the morning those things
were done.  I looked over at the alarm clock and noticed it was six in the
morning, but I did need to go to the bathroom so I crawled out of bed and
did a number one.  Passing by the mirror on the way back to bed I noticed
my reflection and I realized that I did not look good.  In fact I looked
pretty damn sick and tired.  My skin was pale and I noticed that my eyes
looked as if someone blackened them.  My hair was a total mess and my eyes
were bloodshot.  What the hell was wrong with me?  How can a boy who spent
the last three days sleeping look this damn bad?  I admit I'm not a good
looking kid but at least I appeared healthy usually.
	I crawled into bed after pulling off my pants and a sweater that I
was wearing a t- shirt underneath.  I fell asleep and woke up to my mother
doting over me around ten in the morning.  She looked a little worried but
told me to stay in bed that she was going to bring me up breakfast, that I
didn't look well.  I guess my short stay in Chicago didn't help me out in
the rest and relaxation department.  She brought me up a bowl of raisin
oatmeal with a glass of milk and orange juice.  I ate more out of gratitude
than out of being hungry.  I wanted my mom to be happy not sad because I
was such a wimp and passing out all of the time getting hurt.
	As I was eating my mother made small talk with me, asking how I
liked going back to Chicago and what I wanted to do since I was back early.
I told her Chicago wasn't nearly as nice without her and that I wanted to
spend time with her and with some of my friends from school, especially
Dave.  She told me to take today easy and just to lounge around to gain
some color back.  I didn't have the mental strength to argue with her
today, whether she knew it or not she had total control over me today, but
I wasn't going to say anything.  The rest of the day was uneventful; I
actually got bored of watching M TV and playing video games so I decided to
go back to bed.
	The next morning I was surprised to see Dave sitting next to me in
bed, for a moment I thought I was dreaming until my mother walked in and
told me that she invited him to come over yesterday.  David was beaming his
awesome smile at me, which made me light up like a Christmas tree.  I could
see that my mother was happy that she invited him over and she told us that
she'd give us some time to catch up.
	Dave started to bombard me with questions about Chicago and asked
why I came home so early, so I filled him in and could spot a tear or two
drop from his eyes.  I think he might love me as much as I love him, which
is totally cool with me.  I asked him about how he spent his time away from
me and realized that he really didn't go anywhere or do anything.
	As he was talking I realized that I was extremely hard and getting
hornier by the minute, so I leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips
when he backed away from me
	"I don't know if we should do this, your mother could walk in on
us." Dave stated matter of fact.
	"My mother knows I'm gay and she's really okay with it."
	"Yeah but she doesn't know that I'm gay."
	"So it's not like she's going to treat you any different or go
telling the whole neighborhood." I said leaning forward to kiss him again,
when he pushed me away getting off of my bed.
	"It's not that I don't like you, but no one can no that I'm
gay... you are the only person that knows and I'm not taking a risk of
anyone else finding out.  If she leaves us here alone for a while we can do
something, your bedroom door doesn't have a lock on it."  I agreed with
Dave reluctantly and we hung out like normal friends talking, joking,
playing video games, etc.  I had to hide that it hurt a bit when he pushed
me away and was so worried about someone finding out about us.  Why did the
world have to be so cruel and hate gay people?
	My mother came in to my room and told me that she had to go run
errands and that she'd be back in few hours asking if we would be okay if
we were left alone.  We both answered yes and she told me to go to the
neighbor's house if I needed something really important.
	As soon as Dave and I heard the door close and her car pull out of
the driveway we were immediately French kissing each other, feeling each
other's body as our tongues intertwined exploring the other's mouth.  We
pulled each others clothes off in a frantic attempt to press our flesh
against the other.  I thought my boner was going to break from pressing so
hard against my boxers inside my jeans.  Soon we were dry humping each
other while we were making out, both moaning in pleasure.  It felt so hot
in my room and the sweat was dripping off of Dave and me.  I started to
kiss and suck on his neck and ears while moaning and panting from dry
humping him.  I was so horny, it has been three days since I have cum and I
realized that if I didn't slow down soon I was going to cum from dry
humping.  I halfheartedly slowed down letting Dave take control, which
surprised him for a moment... I think he was as close to cumming as I was.
	He rolled us over so that he was on top and I was in heaven as he
kissed my neck, jaw, ears and chest.  Damn he was sexy and I was a very
lucky boy to have him as a boyfriend.  He worked his way down my chest to
my stomach kissing and sucking every square inch of my body as he twisted
and played with my nipples.  I was so hard I thought that my dick was
starting to hurt.  He bypassed my cock and started to kiss and lick my legs
and the inside of my thighs making me insanely horny.  I started to whimper
and beg him to take me inside of his mouth, I wanted him... no I needed him
to suck me.  His tongue teased me by licking the very top of the head of my
penis and I thought I was going to cum then and there as my ball tightened
up.  He finally gave up teasing me and took me into his mouth assaulting my
cock with his tongue as he blew me.  On the third down stroke I came in his
mouth the hardest I had ever came in my mouth and was in ecstasy on the bed
as he continued to suck him.  I tried to tell him to stop and tried to push
him off me with what little strength I had left but he continued to blow me
until I came again a second time in his mouth in less than two minutes.
	When I finally caught my breath and got a hold of my senses, I
immediately start on giving Dave a blow job.  I licked and sucked on the
side of his cock and balls without ever taking his cock in my mouth for a
few minutes.  He then asked me to suck him and I did so as he bucked his
hips fucking my mouth getting wilder by the moment until I had his whole
cock in my mouth (not too amazing since we are twelve years olds and aren't
full grown yet).  He continued fucking my mouth while holding my head until
he plunged his cock as far as it would go and held onto my head releasing a
volley of his cum shots in my mouth.  Boy did he taste good I thought as I
swallowed his seed.  I was going to pay David back but he had the strength
to push me off his cock when I tried to continue sucking him longer than
normal.  He then crawled up and cuddled with me, looking at me with a cute
smile on his face.  His smile always makes my heart melt.
	I heard my mom enter the house and Dave and I quickly got dressed.
I went to the bathroom to straighten out and went downstairs to greet her.
He cleaned himself up a bit while I made small talk with my mom.  She asked
what Dave and I were up to and asked if we were rough housing.  I told her
we might've gotten a little carried away but nothing serious.  She noticed
that my face was flushed with color.  He came bounding down the steps and
grabbed me from behind like he was going to tackle me when my mother told
him to behave before she'd tackle him.  Sometimes she has a great sense of
humor.  I guess I was smiling like the idiot my mother adored and it made
her happy.
	David actually stayed over for dinner and I admit that I didn't
like the topic of discussion.  My mother asked me what happened between my
father and me.  I told her that I we could talk about it later when Dave
wasn't around.  Sometimes my mother can be so clueless on how to act around
my friends.  She changed the subject asking Dave what his plans were for
the holiday and he told her that he planned on hanging out with me as much
as possible.  I actually blushed when he said that looking directly into my
eyes, man I am so in love with him.
	I'm surprised that my mother didn't say anything about what he said
or the way Dave and I were looking at each other.  Normally she'd blow a
moment like this; I guess she decided to give me a moment dignity.  I asked
her if he could spend the night and she said it would be okay as long as
his mother gave her okay.  Dave said that he'd call after dinner.  "Please
God; pretty please let him stay the night with me..."  I prayed inside of
my head over and over again not saying much throughout dinner.
	When we were finished eating Dave went and called his mother in my
room and when he came back into the kitchen he had a huge toothy grin
plastered upon his awesomely beautiful face.  I knew his mother said yes
before he even spoke a word and my heart took a leap.  This was going to be
so great, a whole day with David.  How awesome is that?  It felt like
Christmas had already come although it was about fifteen days away.  After
I helped my mom clean up (much to her protesting), Dave and I went up to my
room where we closed the door so we could talk in private.
	I told Dave how sweet I thought it was that he wanted to spend all
of Christmas break with me, because I felt the same exact way.  He had
tears in his eyes when he told me that my mom called him from Chicago to
tell me that I was in the hospital again and for a longer stay than last
time.  He told me how worried that he was that he might actually lose him
and that he wanted me to know how much I meant to him, how much he loved me
and that his heart would be crushed if anything bad were to happen to me.
He tried to get me to promise that I'd live at least a day longer than him.
I tried to tell him how silly that was that I couldn't control fate, but
his emotions couldn't hear my logic.  He insisted over and over again that
I would outlive him while he cried and hugged me.  I told him that I was
sorry for hurting him and he started to get mad telling me that I couldn't
help it and soon we were both crying in each others arms.
  My shirt was getting pretty wet as I'm sure his was...
	You know how you get when you try to stop crying but can't?  You
kind of are choked up and your whole body is almost half hiccupping, that's
how we were both when my mother knocked on my door.  Since neither of us
could answer, I think my mother thought we were up to something that was
not good and opened the door to see us holding each other while crying.
She didn't ask what was wrong; she just came over to the bed and hugged us
both telling us that everything would be okay.  It's amazing how she could
let things go when she needed to without putting up too much of a fuss or
asking too many questions later on.  I couldn't tell you how long she
hugged us or how long Dave and I had been crying before she came up to
check on us, but it was now dark outside, which isn't a big surprise in the
Midwest in the wintertime.
	After a while she got up from hugging us and asked if we wanted to
talk about anything, that she'd be willing to listen and wouldn't give
advice unless we asked for it.  I shook my head no, this was Dave's
decision to make and he never answered.  My mother left my room as Dave
still clung to me slightly shaking as he held on for dear life.  It seemed
like he was deathly afraid to let me go.
	I waited as long as I could hold out before I told Dave that I
needed to use the bathroom before I pissed myself and he let me go,
watching my every move as I went into the bathroom.  It's amazing that he's
seen me naked, slept with me naked and we had oral sex, but I still felt
the need to shut the door when taking a leak.  I finished my business and
washed my hands before returning to my room and he got up to go to the
bathroom.  It was evident that my love had been crying.  He returned to my
room and we cuddled together on my bed until we fell asleep in each other's
arms.



If you like this story series so far, you may want to read my other fiction
story series:

Gay --> high school --> Music Store Teens
Bi --> college --> College Firsts

Any non-flamer feedback is welcome, email me at jaykool74@hotmail.com