Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 21:27:21 -0400
From: Jay Kool <jaykool74@hotmail.com>
Subject: My So Called Life - Chapter Six

"My So Called Life" -- Chapter Six by Jay Kool (jaykool74@hotmail.com)

	I finally made it to the bus stop, pausing almost ready to turn
around and run home when the bus pulled up.  There was no way I could face
David, but it was going to be hard to avoid him with him being in so many
of my classes.  Why did he kiss me if he wasn't gay?  It wasn't like I made
the first move, I figured he wanted me as much as I wanted him.  I should
have known better than to get involved with someone I see so much, it hurts
too much and there is no way I can even look at him.  I loaded onto the bus
last and took a seat up front oblivious to the world.
	I'm sure that Billy was making fun of me today and David was
probably telling everyone what a little faggot I was, about how I wanted
him as a boyfriend.  No one would believe that he would kiss me first.  I
was lost in my thoughts that in no time we were at school, the screech of
the brakes on the bus brought me back to Earth just in time for me to be
one of the first students off of the bus.  I walked fast toward school,
trying to avoid David and trying to avoid Billy.  The last thing I needed
in school was a mental breakdown or to get my head bashed in again.  I'm
already becoming a big enough problem for my mother, she has to make up
hours on a weekend because of my lame ass.  I opened my locker and
exchanged my books rather quickly without dropping anything, that's a
first, before heading to the library.  I figured I would hide near the back
and David would go to homeroom without seeing me enter the library and I'd
be safe amongst the stacks.  I glanced behind me to make sure that he
didn't see me and since I didn't spot him I supposed that he couldn't see
me.


-------------- David's point of view --------------------------

	Why is Ty avoiding me so much, he wouldn't come near me at the bus
stop or on the bus and then he practically runs into the school where I
lose him.  Jim is puzzled by the way I'm acting, I guess he figures Ty is
afraid of Billy and that's why he is running, but I know better.  Ty is
avoiding me after yesterday's incident and conversation.  It's not like I
planned on kissing him, for some reason it just felt right and I let my
emotions and lust take the best of me.  Contrary to the girls at my school,
I have never kissed anyone in a sexual manner ever before in my life.  How
could I tell Ty that I was gay when I don't know if I am... I am attracted
to many girls, that I know but for some I'm attracted to Ty and no other
boys.
	Maybe Ty is in homeroom already and I can try to chat with him
there or arrange some private place and time for us to talk.  Jim finally
caught up with me asking why I was worried about Ty that he could take care
of himself, before he realized that Ty couldn't protect himself from Billy.
Jim and I hung out walking slowly to his locker where he put away his
backpack and got the books he needed.  Jim and I walked to my homeroom
class and he went to his class.  I walked in sitting down and noticed that
there was absolutely no sign of Ty, not even book.
	The first bell rang and there was still no sign of Ty.  Where in
the heck was he?  It's not like I ever made fun of Ty, I tried my best to
stick up for and protect him.  Does he think I'm going to out hime to the
rest of the school so he can get his daylights turned out by the
homophobes?
  I sat impatiently at my desk, it was almost like I was afraid that if I
left that I would miss him and never see him again.  I admit that I was
hard at the moment just thinking about Ty and none of the thoughts were
sexual, yet.


-------------- Back to Ty ------------------------

	I purposely waited until the second bell rang to go into homeroom,
being late again.  I don't ever think I'm going to be on time to homeroom
again this year as long as David has perfect attendance.  I entered into
the classroom as Mr. Barkley was taking roll call and made it to my seat
before he reached me.  David just kind of stared at me before looking down
at the floor.  Maybe this is as hard for him as it is for me.
	I answered roll call when Mr. Barkley asked me why I was wearing my
shirt inside out?  This created giggles among the girls who thought I was
cute, they didn't realize what a dope I was yet.  I needed a way to cover
for myself but my mind was only thinking about avoiding David.  I was
embarrassed as I was told to switch my shirt to be right side out and
started to do it in class when Mr. Barkley told me to go to the bathroom
that we didn't need a peep show.  At this the whole class except David were
laughing at me.  I'm not sure if Mr.  Barkley recognized my humilation or
not, because it seemed as if it never registered with him.
	I walked out of class heading to the bathroom to change when I
almost walked right into Billy.  My heart started to beat fast, skipping a
few beats every now and then as I frooze in fear.  I just realized that he
probably wanted to beat me into the dirt for kicking his ass in my fit of
rage the other day, the first fight I ever won in my life.Surprisingly
Billy ignored me and continued to his class, apparently he was late like I
was.
	When I regained my composure, I finally made it into the bathroom
where I switched my shirt to be right side out.  I saw my reflection in the
mirror and noticed that I was still a wimp, ripe for a picking from a
bully, maybe my fit of rage fight against Billy will protect me for the
rest of the year if I was lucky.  I guess I spent too much time thinking
and staring at my worthless reflection in the mirror when David entered the
bathroom.
	I guess it took him a few tries to snap me back to reality.  He
asked me if I was okay and if i needed to talk about anything.  I answered
in simple answers, yes and no respectively.  I started to walk past him
when he grabbed me by the arm and spun me toward him.  Needless to say I
was frightened, shaking and cowered to the guranteed beating I was going to
receive when I pissed myself.  Could my body betray me in a greater way
than this?
	David started to apologize to me when he noticed that he scared the
piss out of me telling me that he could never harm me that he just wanted
to talk with me about yesterday.  I couldn't say anything due to my present
condition and had a hard time thinking straight.  How in the hell could I
possibly avoid becoming the laughing stock of the whole school for pissing
myself in the seventh grade?  I guess David noticed that I wasn't paying
much attention to him when he suggested that I wear a pair of his sweat
pants for the rest of the day or until lunch time when I could call my
mother to have her bring me clean clothes.  He told me to wait in a stall
in case anyone came in and that he would return shortly.  He was going to
save me from my overreacting self once again.
	Within two minutes Dave was back with a pair of his smallest sweat
pants for me to wear, I changed and when I realized that I didn't have any
clean underwear.  I mentioned this to Dave who went in to the stall next to
me and took off his pants and boxer shorts to let me borrow them.  He
realized that sweat pants leave little to the imagination without any
underwear to help hide your boner.  He said that he would wear his
jockstrap and that I could return his boxers later on.  He handed me his
boxers as I was standing in the stall in nothing but my pissed up tighty
whiteys (doesn't every innocent boy wear these?).  I changed into them and
put on his sweat pants, both of which were a little loose on my runt of a
body.
	David asked me if we could talk later on today and I told him that
he could come over to my house and to pick up his clothes after school.
That seemed to put a smile on his face and I asked him why he was so happy
when he replied that he was glad I was talking to him again.
	We entered the classroom taking our seats and Mr. Barkley stated
for us to stay for a chat after class today.  I guess I was going to get
detention or something, well if that was the case atleast I'd get to see my
mother on Saturday morning.  I couldn't tell you what Mr. Barkley lectured
about in class today, my thoughts were roaming wildy about David, I'm glad
he let me borrow his boxers as I grew wood.  I also hoped that David came
to terms with his sexuality and wanted me for a boyfriend, but that is way
too much to ask in a short period of time.  I am wishing that he keeps my
sexuality a secret from his friends and the school, no matter how much
anyone may think to like me, that would all change in a heartbeat if they
found out I was gay.  Being gay just isn't normal in America, it's like you
are a lower class species once someone finds out.  It's like oh you're gay,
now I see why you act like... the rest is up to your imagination.
	The bell rang and the class vacated except for Dave and I, thank
God for the bell bringing me back to class.  Mr. Barkley asked why I was
dressed like I was and what happened to my other pants.  Dave stated that I
had an accident and that he let me borrow some clothes until I could call
my mom at work.  Mr. Barkley told me to call her at lunch time to get more
appropriate clothes for school and to take it easy.
	The rest of my classes blew by me as I was in a constant daze.  I
suppose most of my teachers think that I'm going to be a problem here at
school until lunch time when I went to the office to call my mother.  I was
about to get into trouble when I told the principal, Mr. Farris, that I was
calling to get some clean pants because I had an accident earlier.  My
mother seemed okay with bringing me clothes and was at the school within 20
minutes with a pair of black jeans and underwear.  Needless to say I
blushed when I saw my mother bringing me clean underwear at school.  I
thanked her and hugged her in the office where no other classmates could
see me showing affection for my mom when she gave me my lunch money.  She
left as I went as I changed in the principal's office, he left to monitor
in the cafeteria.
	I met up with David and the gang at lunch with a tray of the
gourmet food they serve in the public school systems.  I didn't really say
much to anyone besides the standard greeting of "hi"".  The continued to
talk and asked how I was and such but I kept my answers short and to the
point.  I was glad that it wasn't like my last school where I always sat
alone and worried about being picked on.  The rest of the school day flew
by and I was getting along pretty well without any mishaps, I didn't count
goofing up in gym class because I know I'm not athletic.
	David and I walked home from school, skipping the school bus.  It
seemed like a good time to talk since it was quiet and we were alone.  I
asked Dave to tell me what he wanted to talk about, he stated that he knew
I was gay in a quiet voice, but stated that he didn't know if he was or
not.  That he wanted to be honest with me and that he would never tell
anyone that I was gay unless he had my permission.  Amazingly I was able to
actively listen to Dave speak without having a panic attack.  He then told
me that if he was gay, he wouldn't want to be with anyone but me in the
whole world.  I smiled knowing that.  I told him that with my parents
getting divorced that it probably wasn't the right time in my life to get
involved with anyone so maybe things were working out the way they were
meant to be.
	He asked me about the bathroom incident to which I told him about
my nightmare last night and I could've swore he turned pale for a second or
two before returning to normal.  He admitted that he would've behaved in
the same manner as I had if he had the same dream.  I told him that I
thought that the dream was coming true when he grabbed my arm and that I
was afraid that all of the dream would come true.  He told me that it would
take more than a lousy dream to get rid of him, that is wasn't that easy.
I loved to hear Dave laugh and make light of a heavy situation, it made me
realize that I needed to be a better friend to Dave.
	Dave and I got along great as friends without any major incidents
between us.  The bullies left me alone at school and three of the girls in
my class asked me to the homecoming dance.  I told them that I would think
about it and Dave suggested that I go with one of them to upkeep
appearances, so I went to the dance with Jen.  She is nice and close to my
size and cute as in puppy dog cute.  I wasn't physically attracted to any
of the girls in my class.  I wished I could have went to the dance with
David as my date, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.  David took
out one of the other girls that had asked me out, I guess all of the same
girls asked us both out.  My parents got divorced and my mother retained
custody of me without a hard fought court battle.  My mother said that my
dad relented on a lot of financial issues to make things easier on me.
Three months went by in a hurry and it was a few days before Christmas
break.
	I haven't spoken with my father since the phone conversation we had
where I told him how I felt about him leaving my mother and I.  When he
arrived to say goodbye, I hid in my room with the door locked crying, there
was no way I could face him and I never wanted to see him again.  I could
try that my father was trying to keep his cool when my mother told him that
I would eventually get over it and that I could stay with him spring
(Easter) break since he wouldn't be seeing me for a while.  My dad caved in
and didn't get mad even when I yelled through the door that I hated him and
that I never wanted to see him.  My mother told me after he left that it
took a lot out of my dad when I said it and she begged me to call him to
apologize, but I refused.  I told her that he didn't deserve either one of
us and that I had no intentions of spending time with him or talking with
him unless I was forced to.  My mom shook her head despairingly as she left
my room, I figured she was trying to have me do the right thing so that I
wouldn't regret this in the future, but I didn't care, I was finally going
to stick up for myself.  I guess I gained a little bit of self confidence
since moving here from Chicgao.


If you like this story series so far, you may want to read my other fiction
story series:

Gay --> high school --> Music Store Teens
Bi --> college --> College Firsts

Any non-flamer feedback is welcome, email me at jaykool74@hotmail.com