Date: Tue, 19 Apr 2011 14:46:44 -0500
From: Aaron Saxon <a.saxon1122@gmail.com>
Subject: My Worst Day - Chapter 4; gay male/young friends

Sorry everybody that its taken me so long to get back to this story. I've
been busy keeping up with another one and since I haven't had anyone email
me about this one, I wasn't sure that I should even continue with
it. Anyway, I finally decided to get back to it.

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My father was understandably upset that I wasn't at Brian's house and he
was pissed at Michael for being the reason I ran away. Our father wouldn't
even look at Michael as he was frantically trying to figure out what to
do. Just then, the doorbell rang. It was Brian. He offered his assistance
to my parents.

I had no way of knowing if my parents would take the news the same way
Michael had, so I figured that leaving would spare them the embarrassment
of having a gay son. A fag for a son, I thought.

I awoke to a lot of noise outside. I had no idea what time it was and my
stomach was growling. Not having any money to my name, I didn't know what I
was going to do. I figured I would gather my duffel bag up and continue on
my way.

Little did I know that my parents got in their car and started driving
around town and Brian got on his bike and told his parents he was going to
help my parents search for me. My parents told Michael to go back to school
because he wasn't welcome if he couldn't accept his brother. He had never
experienced anything like this before. He was the one feeling rejected and
hurt now, but said, "Fine! You guys don't need me, then I'll leave! You
obviously love the fag more than you do me!" This time my mother didn't
stop our dad from hitting Michael and yelled, "Don't be here when we get
back!"

Several hours later Brian found me sitting on a park bench eating a candy
bar and sandwich I'd stolen because of how hungry I was. I'd never stolen a
thing in my life and I hated having to.

He threw his bike on the ground and ran up to me. "John, we've all been so
worried about you! Why'd you run away?" I didn't want to look at him, but
he turned me towards him. " Michael." I said. "Screw Michael, you're
parents love you." "How could they love a fag?" "Don't ever call yourself
that again, they don't care that you're gay. When I thought I'd never see
you again, I realized just how much I cared about you." He kissed me on the
forehead first and then pressed his lips against mine. It felt so good, so
safe and warm. I didn't ever want to stop kissing Brian.

"Let me call your parents and tell them I've found you." "Please don't." I
begged. "I can't face them right now." "Yes you can, I'll be there with you
all the way." Through sobs I said, "Okay, you're sure they don't hate me
like Michael does?" "Why don't you ask them yourself when they get here?"

Brian put his arm around me as he dialed my parents on his cell phone. I
hadn't been trusted with one yet, but maybe this would be the catalyst for
me to get one, I thought.

"Hi, Mr. Summers," Brian started. "I've found John and he's ok. Yes you can
speak with him." I pulled away from him mouthing no as he kept forcing the
phone in my face. "Talk to your dad." I put the phone to my ear just
slightly because I thought he was going to yell at me for running
away. "Son," he said softly. "Are you okay? You've had your mother and I
scared sick!" "I'm-I'm sa sa sorry, daddy. I said sobbing. I thought that
you'd hate me like Michael does. I guess he told you?" "Yes, he did
son. And your mother and I agreed, we don't care." "Yes, honey, we don't
care, we just want you safe at home." I couldn't speak anymore at all the
love I was receiving from my parents, so I handed the phone back to
Brian. "Sorry Mr. Summers, but John is sobbing so hard he can't speak
anymore."

A few minutes later my parents drove up and saw Brian and I sitting on one
of the park benches. My father quickly turned off the car and he and my
mother jumped out of the car running towards me. I wasn't even aware of
what was going on around me, when I felt arms wrapping around me. Through
blurry eyes, I saw my mother's and father's faces. I tried to pull away
from them because I was still scared about what would come next, but they
wouldn't let me go. We just sat there like that for about 15 minutes and
then arm in arm my parents led me to the car. Brian piled his bike in the
back and go in next to me.

As my father started up the car, I sat there with my head on Brian's
shoulder. My father looked through the rear view mirror at us and smiled. A
few minutes later, Brian kissed the top of my head and he saw tears well up
in my father's eyes. "Mr. Summers, he asked, are you alright?" "Yea, I'm
fine." My mother looked at him totally confused. I looked up at this and
asked my father, "dad, what's wrong?"

He pulled the car over and looked back at me. "Son, I love you very much. I
always will and I want you to be happy and if Brian makes you happy, that's
all I care about." "You don't hate me?' I said starting to cry again. "Yes,
son and your mother feels the same way." "I do, son. I love you very much."

"I have something I want to tell you son." My father began. "It's about
when I was in college. I had just started at Smith College and I had this
roommate named David (Myers). We had become fast friends and one night a
couple of months later he told me he was gay. I wasn't sure how to react
initially, but I thought, ya know, since I already knew him, why should I
have a problem with this? Well, one night him and I drank a little too much
and we found each other in bed together. I don't remember much of what
happened. We woke up the next morning in each others arms and after the
alcohol had worn off, I realized that I'd made a terrible mistake. I got up
to use the bathroom and when I came back in David was sitting up with a
smile on his face. I told him how I felt. He was hurt but seemed to
understand. A few days later, I found his bed empty and nothing in his
closet. He had left a note saying that he had left school and didn't want
me to try to find him." My father was an emotional wreck at this point and
my mother was shocked. But then reached out and grabbed onto him and I
joined them in a warm embrace. "Barbara, I'm sorry I never told you about
this, but know that I love you very much. "I know Joseph," she said. "Go
sit in the back seat with John and Brian, I'll drive the rest of the way
home."

My mother was reeling at this revelation about my dad, but then she
remembered that she'd experimented in college too. She just smiled to
herself as she noticed the three of us in a hug in the back seat.

As we pulled into the driveway, my mother looked at us and said, "John, we
definitely have a lot to talk about, but for now, I want you and Brian to
go to your room. Joseph, I want to talk to you in private," she said a
little sternly. My father got worried, which I almost never saw him
do. Thinking to himself, "Did I just mess up my marriage to the most
wonderful woman I've ever known?"

We followed my mother to the front door as she unlocked it. Brian and I ran
upstairs hand in hand as my mother ushered for my father to follow her into
the kitchen.

"Joseph, I'm not upset with you. I'm just a little surprised is all. It's a
lot to process. But I also have something I want to tell you. I
experimented in college too. I want you to know that I have been nothing
but happy that I met and married you. You are a wonderful man and father. I
love you." Then she leaned over and kissed my father passionately. He
returned the kiss with all his vigor, full of relief. "Now, let's go see
our son, he needs us."

Upstairs, Brian was holding me as I continued to try to get a-hold of
myself, kissing my forehead and cheek in the process. Whimpering a little,
I said, "Please don't ever let me go or leave me Brian." "John, I am never
going to let you go and I'm never going to leave you, I promise." Brian
said.

My father heard this as he entered. "Are you guys alright?" I asked. My
eyes were so bloodshot. "Yes honey, mom and I are fine." I jumped off the
bed and ran into my father's arms. He caught me like he always does and
wrapped me in his strong arms. "Aww, little man, I love you so much." "Can
I have a hug too?" My mom asked. I really didn't want to let go of my
father, but he nodded and I gave her a big squeeze.

She said she needed to run to the store since dinner wasn't going to make
itself. We all laughed at her comment as she left.

Turning back to my father, I jumped back into his arms and he held me
against him. After a few minutes, he motioned for Brian to come over and
the three of us embraced.

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Our gay youth, our gay teenagers need to be safe and secure. They are our
next generation. Help them, love them and teach them. Everything will be
okay as long as they can hang in there. Please, if you feel alone, seek
help from somewhere. Email me. I'll talk to you. But don't end your life.
It's not worth it. Life is worth living.