Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 04:58:10 +0100
From: Nick Brady <y2kslacker@mail.com>
Subject: Nick's Story -chapter 6

Nick's Story  --  Chapter 6

This story is about growing up in Tulsa.  Part of the story involves sex
between boys so you should be 18 to read it.  Please send comments to
y2kslacker@mail.com and make donations to Nifty.

Copyright 2014, Nick Brady, all rights reserved.

---------------------

It wasn't dark when I got home but the sun was dropping behind the hills
beyond the river and I was late for supper.  Mother had already put food on
the table and she and Dad and Kevin were eating.

        "Well hello", mother said with some concern in her voice.

        It smelled good in the house and I suddenly realized I was very
hungry and glad to be home.  "It smells good in here, what's for supper?"

        "Baked chicken and rice", Mom said, "What's left of it".

        Dad looked up at me without smiling and glanced at his watch and
then out the window.  " It's getting dark earlier now.  You need to watch
the time."  Kevin as usual said nothing, but took it all in.

        "Sorry", I said, "I lost track of time."

        "Where were you?" Mom asked.

        "Oh, just riding my bike with a friend.  A kid named Tony that I
met at the YMCA.  You don't know him.  His family is from Mexico I think."

        "Does he go to your school?"

        "Uh, no, he is a little younger than me.  He probably goes to
Cleveland Middle School."

I attacked what was left of supper and it grew silent around the table.
Mom began to clear off the dishes and she and Dad went in the kitchen where
the clatter of dish washing began.  Kevin stayed at the table and silently
watched me eat.

        "I think I know Tony," Kevin said quietly.

        "Yeah?" I replied without looking up.

        "Yeah.  I was on Rivertrail today and I saw you guys riding your
bikes."

I didn't respond but continued to eat.  I felt a cold knot form in my
stomach and wondered where we were when he saw us.  I hoped it wasn't when
we were going in or out of the brush at the river's edge.

        "He goes to my school, to Cleveland," Kevin said.

I didn't respond and after another few minutes of watching me eat with my
eyes focused on my plate, Kevin quietly left the table.  I exhaled and
realized that I was scared.  What had Kevin seen?  What did he know? He
hadn't said much but something felt wrong.

I watched a little TV and then took out the trash as the sanitation truck
would come in the morning and that was one of my chores.  Mom and Dad were
in their bedroom and Kevin was in ours.  It was like being alone in the
house.  I went into our bedroom where Kevin was laid back on the his bed
reading a science fiction paperback.  I undressed to my briefs then grabbed
some clean ones and started for the bathroom.  Kevin didn't look up.

I turned on the shower and brushed my teeth while the water warmed up.  I
turned the hot down low and turned up the cold water.  I wanted it to be
nice and cool.  I stepped in and let the water play over my body.  It had
been a very long day and I was tired and a little queasy.  After a few
minutes I turned the warm water off completely and let the cold water fall
on me.  It felt good.  I put my hands on the wall on each side of the
shower nozzle and let the cold water rain down on my head and tried to move
so that it flowed evenly over both my front and back.  I spread my legs and
lifted my balls and pulled back my foreskin to let the cool water rinse
those sheltered places.  I turned my back to the spigot and spread my ass
cheeks to cool off my hot asshole.  I felt dirty for some reason.  After 5
minutes or so I took the bar of Lifebuoy and began to wash myself all over.
The soap smelled clean and reassuring.  By the time I rinsed off I felt
better, dried off, put on my clean underwear and went back to the bedroom.

Kevin had already turned off his bed light and was lying on his side turned
away from me with his knees curled up towards his chest.  It was hot and he
had on only his briefs.  I sat down on the edge of my bed and looked at his
back.  He was very slender but beginning to fill out a little, his
shoulders were rounder than they used to be, and his back had some muscle
in it rather than skin over backbone and rib.  The last time I had seen him
naked his hairless dick was that of a little boy. He was the same age as
Tony with whom I had had both oral and anal sex only a few hours before.
Now I wasn't sure Who Kevin was.  It was amazing that we could share a room
and not be more intimate than we were.

I turned out my light and the room grew very dim, illuminated only by the
light from the street which came in through the window.  I thought back
over the day, a day filled with sexual excitement and new experiences.
When I closed my eyes I could see images of Tony's naked body which
continued to excite me.  But I also felt a sense of disquiet.  I was on
unfamiliar territory.  I thought about Jack and wished he was with me so we
could talk.  And then I fell asleep.

-----------

The final weeks of summer went by quickly and without much incident.  I saw
Tony at the Y only a couple of times and wanted to have some fun with him
but there were too many people around, or he had to go, or something else
interfered.  Despite my concerns about our last time together at the park,
the sight of his naked body always made me horny and I wanted to be with
him.

Then one morning just before my school started I saw Tony at the pool.  We
swam around and played grab ass like we did when we first met.  We felt
each other under the water and both got hard.  We wrestled around and slid
our hard dicks against each other's naked bodies.  It make me horny and I
really wanted to get off with him but he said he had to go.  I got out of
the pool and went to the dressing room with him, not wanting him to leave
before we had had some sex play.  In the dressing room he dried off and I
took his semi-erect cock in my hand and slid the foreskin back and started
to stroke him with one hand while I rubbed his ass with the other. I was
still naked and almost hard.

Tony had such a nice ass, brown and smooth, and his ass cheeks cupped in at
the sides when he tightened his butt.  He was solid and muscular with
rounded pecs and shoulders and a firm flat belly ripped with rows of nice
little abs.  I ran my fingers up under his balls and pinched the skin at
the inside of his thighs.  It was just smooth skin over hard muscle, no
trace of fat anywhere.  He was beginning to sprout some straight black
hairs around the base of his dick now and his dick seemed thicker than at
the first of the summer.

        "You are growing some hair on your dick", I laughed.

        "You got more on yours too" Tony replied.  Tony glanced around to
see if any one else was in the dressing room and flashed his white teeth at
me.  "Wow man, you really horny."

        "Hey, its been a month since we've done anything.  Are you really
in that big a hurry?" I asked.

        "Yeah, I really got to go."  Then Tony grinned, "Come on man, I can
help you out."

He took me by the hand and led me behind the last row of lockers.
Crouching down he put his hands on my hips and pulled me towards his face,
sticking out his tongue and lifting my dick into his mouth.  He immediately
took me all the way into his warm mouth and sucked hard while he pulled my
skin back and rolled his tongue around my dickhead.  I took his head
between my hands and let my fingers stroke through his soft shiny black
hair.  With one hand he pulled and squeezed my balls and with the other he
slid his fingers between my ass cheeks.  I pushed my hips forward and
fucked his face, feeling the head of my dick pop down the back of his
throat.  He pressed his lips together so they stroked my cock as it pumped
in and out of his mouth, all the time flicking his tongue from side to side
over the bottom of my dick.  It felt fantastic and in just a few minutes he
brought me to a screaming climax that buckled my knees.

Swallowing every drop of my cum, he milked out a last lick and then kissed
my dick goodbye.

	  Jumping up he tweaked my nipples and kissed me quickly on the
lips.  "I gotta go man," and Tony pulled on his clothes and blasted out of
the dressing room leaving me with a dick that was still partly hard and
twitching.  It surprised me that he was able to bring me off so quickly --
like a pro, I thought.

----------

I dressed and walked the few blocks from the YMCA back to our apartment
building.  Dad was at work of course and Mom was out somewhere. Kevin was
in the living room on the sofa.  The TV was on but he was reading a book
and oblivious to the tube.  It occurred to me that I had not really talked
to Kevin for a long time.  Just the necessary exchanges that were part of
living in the same apartment, sleeping in the same room.

I sat down in the soft chair that went with the sofa and looked at him.
Kevin was 11 going on 12 and beginning to grow noticeably taller.  Not as
tall as me yet but Dad predicted that eventually he would be.  Where I had
red orange hair and very pale skin, Kevin's hair was a light brown and his
skin was a little darker.  He had been a tow head when he was little and to
be honest, was a nice looking guy.

Kevin was lean, more so even than I was, and had a quiet grace about him.
Like a cat, I thought.  He was almost always quiet -- moved quietly.  Where
I would set a glass down on the dinner table with a bang, he would set it
down noiselessly.  Where I tended to talk loud enough to be heard in the
next room, Kevin only spoke loud enough to be heard by the person he was
speaking to.  There was something very focused and deliberate about Kevin
and I admired that, even envied it a little as I was more impulsive and as
a result tended to screw up more often.

I had just had sex with a boy no older than my little brother and it caused
me to look at Kevin in a different way.  Not with a sexual desire, but with
the realization that I probably didn't know Kevin as well as I thought I
did.  He had a life apart from me and from Mom and Dad just as I did.  We
had never had secrets from each other because it simply wasn't necessary,
but now there was a part of my life that I did not want him to know about.
It flashed me with cold dread to think that my parents would be aware of my
secret activities.  I did have secrets now, and they were heavier than I
imagined.

Kevin finally put his book down across his stomach and looked back at me as
if to ask what I wanted.  I suppose I thought I was invisible sitting there
staring at him but of course he had been aware of my presence.

        "Hey," I said quietly, without moving.

        "Hey.  What's up?"  he answered in the same quiet voice.

        "Nothing.  I guess I'm just sitting here."

        "It's not like you to sit and be quiet", Kevin observed, "What's
up?"

        "You know Tony from your school?" I asked, surprising myself.  I
hadn't intended to mention him to Kevin but I had to know what Kevin knew
about him.  Kevin looked at me and bent the corner of his book and closed
it, dropping it on the floor.  "What about Tony?"

        "Nothing, I just wondered.  I met him at the YMCA pool, he has a
brother my age.  You said you knew him from school"

        Kevin looked away from me and picked his book up off the
floor. held it for a moment then laid it down again.  "He keeps to himself
at school, real quiet.  I have never seen him hanging out with anybody.
His brother walks him to school and picks him up, and when they talk to
each other it is always in Spanish."

        "Well what's wrong with that?  They are from Mexico and maybe it's
easier for them to speak in Spanish."  I felt a little defensive.  "His
English is fine, he doesn't have any trouble talking to me."

        "No, you guys looked like you were really tight."

I waited for Kevin to say something else but he didn't.  He just looked
back at the foot of the sofa and left that hanging out in the air.  One of
the maddening things about Kevin was not what he said but what he didn't
say.  He always seemed to imply more than he actually said and left me to
figure out what was left unspoken.  I wanted very much to know what he had
on his mind but was afraid that maybe I shouldn't ask.  What did he know
about Tony?  I realized that there was probably a lot about Tony that I
didn't know and it began to gnaw at me a little.

Maybe Kevin was waiting for me to say something else and when I didn't, he
quietly opened up his book and started to read again.  I started to ask him
what he knew about Tony and his brothers but thought better of it and got
up and went into the kitchen to make a sandwich.

I put the sandwich and a handful of chips on a piece of paper towel, poured
a glass of milk, and went into the bedroom I shared with Kevin.  We had an
invisible line down the center of the room we shared.  We might have had a
little more floor space if we had stacked the beds into bunks but
compromised for a small piece of privacy.  The beds were on the opposite
sides of the room and we had agreed long ago on what was Kevin's and what
was mine.

What was Kevin's tended to be orderly and what was mine tended to be messy.
Kevin's bed was loosely made, his clean clothes were folded and in his
dresser drawers, and his dirty clothes were either in his clothes basket or
hanging on the side of it where his aim was off a bit.  He had a small
bookcase crammed with books, mostly paperback Science Fiction, and the
stuff on his desk was stacked into a couple of piles with an open space in
the middle where he could write.

My covers were hanging on the floor, my dirty clothes were tossed in a pile
at the foot of my bed and my clean ones were in the basket just as I had
emptied them from the drier.  They rotated from the basket to my body and
then to the pile on the floor.  My desk was covered with some an assortment
of "cool stuff" -- some small swimming and baseball trophies, a soccer
ball, my baseball glove with a ball tucked inside to hold its shape, a
loose stack of comics, and some clean but unsorted socks.  I had a wall
shelf with some model cars and various important items I wanted to display.
My dresser and the floor under my bed contained the bulk of my belongings
where they had been shoved quickly when Mom went on the rampage about my
mess..  We coexisted by following the principle of don't look, don't
comment.  It worked for us.

I looked around the room and wondered what clothes I could still wear to
school this year and which ones would be offered to Kevin as hand me downs.
He hated that but surprised me by wearing some of my outgrown clothes as if
he liked them.  I started going through the piles of stuff, sorting them
into my stuff, stuff to be offered to Kevin, and stuff that neither of us
would want, this being the largest pile. I turned on my little jam box and
cranked it a little since neither of my parents was home, and started
working through the piles.

After about 30 minutes of this Kevin came in the bedroom and sat cross
legged on his bed, watching me with a crooked smile on his face..

        I looked up at him and offered the obvious explanation.  "It's that
time of year again."

        "Ah yes", Kevin smiled knowingly, "Christmas in August.  My new
back to school hand me downs."

        "Well, don't feel special", I said, "Half of them came from
Goodwill in the first place."

        Kevin chuckled, "Yeah, I know.  It's cool.  Our clothes came by
their weathered look the honest way."

        Kevin looked at me.  "About Tony, I don't really know him very
well.  I may have spoken to him a couple of times but he doesn't know me.
Like I said, he is very quiet at school."

        "What else do you know about him?"

        "Nothing really, but some guys talk about him."

        "Talk about him -- what do they say?"

        "People say all kinds of things.  I don't like to repeat things I
don't know are true.  It might all be bullshit."

        "OK, no problem.  I chalk up most of what you say as bullshit
anyway", I smiled.

        Kevin smiled in return.  "OK, fair enough."  then he looked very
serious.  Even though there was no one else in the house, Kevin lowered his
voice.  "Some guys say he is queer, that he and some of his brothers hang
out along Riverpark all the time.  A lot of gay guys cruise the park
looking for sex so it makes you wonder.  I have seen him there
myself. "Kevin paused a moment and said even more softly, "I saw him there
yesterday with you."

         My heart started pounding so loud that I was sure Kevin could hear
it, and I could feel the prickle of sweat popping out on my neck and body.
"No, that is bullshit.  Tony is a really nice guy, he wouldn't do anything
like that."

         "I didn't say he did anything.  You asked me to tell you what I
know and I did."

Then as if he had already said more than he intended, Kevin abruptly stood
and walked quietly out of the room, leaving me sitting on my bed.

I felt like I had been slapped in the face.  I sat stunned, thinking about
what Kevin had said -- and what he had not said.  He had told me the truth
as he knew it and in return I had lied to him.  He had not accused Tony of
anything, nor had he accused me of anything.  He didn't seem angry or
disgusted.  It occurred to me that he told me to warn me, and that he was
concerned for me.  I took my little brother for granted and he knew what
was going on in my life better than I did, and still cared about me.

I was in this situation a lot deeper than I realized and it really scared
me.  Tony knew an awful lot about sex for an 11 year old.  But then Kevin
knew a lot more than I had realized. I closed my eyes and for the first
time in a while, I really prayed for help.  This was too tough for me to
deal with by myself and I wanted a way out -- please, please....

----------

I woke up when I heard Mom call me to supper.  It took a minute for
everything to come back to me and fill me with that cold feeling again.  I
went into the kitchen where Dad and Kevin were sitting at the table.  I
looked at them like I had just come back from a long trip and was glad to
see them there.  I recognized the remains of the Sunday roast with a new
side dish of cheesy potatoes and some green beans -- a store bought cake
sat on the counter for desert.

Dad didn't look up from something he was reading but Kevin was looking at
me as I sat down in my place, and said "Hey" to acknowledge me.  Suddenly I
realized how much I loved my little brother -- quiet, serious, faithful
Kevin.  I felt a lump in my throat when I gave him an answering "Hey".
That was all we said or needed to say.  Dad commented on the state of the
storage shed that Kevin and I were responsible for keeping organized.  Mom
told Dad about some friend who was having a baby then reminded us that we
were starting school on Monday and needed to sort out our clothes.

        "Nick went through his stuff and gave me a lot of things", Kevin
said.  He was kind of defending me, I thought.

        "A lot of it is pretty ratty", I said, "We could both use some new
stuff".

        Mom paused and looked at both of us.  "Well, you boys are growing.
I guess we need to do some back to school shopping this weekend."  Dad
looked at us and nodded his approval.

Everything was so -- normal.

------------

As soon as supper was over and the dishes washed and put away, I went back
to my bedroom and wrote a note to Jack.

                 "Jack.
        I really need to talk to you.
        Please call me when you get in.
                Nick"

I took a map pin off the bulletin board and went up to the third floor to
pin the note to Jack's door.  When I pushed it into the door, it swung
opened revealing Jack at his desk..

        "Don't you know how to Knock?" Jack said when he saw me in the
doorway.

        "I'm sorry.  I didn't know you were home.  I was sticking a note to
your door."

        "Yeah?  What does it say?" Jack said with a smile.

        "It says I really need to talk to you." I said solemnly.

        Jack caught my mood and his smile disappeared.  "What's up Nicky?"

        The use of his pet name for me opened a flood of emotions and I
felt my eyes get wet.  "I think I have fucked up really bad."

        Jack motioned to his old sofa and sat down to be next to me, "Hey,
what's wrong?"

I closed the apartment door and sat down on the sofa next to Jack.  I
hesitated for a minute not knowing how to begin, then I cleared my throat
as best as I could and started to tell him everything at once.  All about
Tony and how I showed him the pool window, about how we jerked off and
sucked each other, about riding our bikes to Riverpark and fucking each
other in Tony's secret place.  I said it all, all run together in a hurry
to get it all out, crying a little and stuttering a lot but dumping it all
out like puking up something nasty.  Lastly I told him about what Kevin
told me about Tony and how unworthy I felt to have a brother like him and
such a nice normal family when I was such a freak, and....

        Jack looked worried.  "Whoa Nicky.  Take it easy."  He put his arm
around my shoulder and pulled me in close to him. It felt so good to be in
his arms.  "What are you most afraid of?" Jack finally asked.

        "I think Kevin knows I am gay", I said.  "Maybe Mom and Dad will
find out.  Maybe the kids at school will find out and call me a fag."

        "What do you know about Tony?"  Jack asked.

        "Nothing really except that he can be fun to play with."

        "You do realize that some gay men use the park to meet for sex
don't you?"

        "Not really" I said, recalling that my Dad had been the one to tell
me not to hang out at the park.  He said it was OK to ride through but not
OK to goof around and hang out there, especially by myself.  My Dad told me
that, not my Mom.  That meant it was important.

        "What does Tony mean to you? Jack asked.  "Do you think you love
Tony?"

        "Well, I like him.  No, I guess I don't really know him well enough
to say I love him."  I wasn't sure what Jack was getting at.

        "Does Tony love you?"

	  "I don't know.  He said I was special."

               Jack looked intently at me and said, "I told you before, sex
is powerful magic.  When you do it with someone it should mean something
special.  If it doesn't then you are just using each other to masturbate.
Tony might be a really fun guy, but you don't know who else Tony is having
fun with, you know?"

        "Nicky, I am afraid for you.  You are so innocent and there are so
many who would take advantage of that.  You need a really nice friend your
own age. Guys like Tony are exciting but Tony is in great danger of getting
hurt really bad."

        "But Tony is the only other guy I know who likes what I like."

	  Jack frowned a little and said, "Think about it Nicky, You are
doing oral and anal sex with a boy who may be a prostitute, You put
yourself in danger with a man who molested you, you are very worried that
your brother knows what you are doing, and very afraid that your parents
will discover what you are trying to keep secret from them.  You are in
danger of getting hurt really bad here."

Jack was telling me the unvarnished truth and it hit me like a punch in the
gut.  I knew he did it because he cared about me and was concerned for
me. It made me realize that I had been lying to myself about how dangerous
my actions were.  Overwhelmed by fear and shame, I began to cry.

	  Jack put his arm around my shoulder and pulled my to his side.
"I'm sorry Nicky.  I know it's hard to hear all that but you need to
realize that what you are doing is dangerous.  I would rather hurt your
feelings than see you really get messed up."

	  "I hate myself." I sobbed. "It's true, I'm really a dirty faggot,
and everybody's gonna find out."

	  "No Nicky, don't say that.  You didn't ask to be gay any more
than I did. Simply being gay isn't your problem any more than being
straight is a problem.  If a straight guy tries to screw every girl he
thinks will let him get in her pants then that's a problem.  You might hear
some locker room talk about how macho that is but you know it isn't
honorable.  That's why I won't do sex with you Nicky.  Because it isn't
honorable."  Jack looked at me very seriously.  "Think about it Nick.  Who
do you want to be?"

	  Jack turned and looked intently at me.  "Being gay doesn't keep
you from being an honorable person, a good person.  Being gay is an
accident of birth.  What you do with it is what matters.  Basically, the
rules are the same whether you are gay or straight."

	  He took my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes.  "You are
a good person Nicky.  I told you that before and it is still true.  Don't
sell yourself short.  You are impetuous and impulsive but that is because
you are young and have a lot to learn, but you are a good person.  Do you
believe me?"

As I thought about what Jack said I decided that I did believe him, I just
had to.  And I decided that maybe my prayer had been answered.


.......................to be continued.

(Remember that comments from the reader are the writer's only paycheck, and
Nifty needs contributions to continue to publish the stories you enjoy.
Email comments to y2kslacker@mail.com, and please donate to Nifty.org)