Date: Mon, 04 Sep 2000 13:44:55 -0500
From: fsw99 <fsw99@pop.mindspring.com>
Subject: Chapter 21 of One Big Happy Family

Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual
acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality.

Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over,

**If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live,

**Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex.

The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website
or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission
is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against
violators.

If you have enjoyed reading this story, you will find other stories by me
in Young Friends ("Matt and Mike" 3/24/00 and "New Neighbor" 12/17/99),
Incest ("My New Life" 12/18/99) and Adult Youth ("Sam Finds a New Father"
12/16/99 and "Billy and Jim" 12/13/99).

E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive'
comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com.

			    Chapter Twenty One

"Isaiah, I hope you don't mind sleeping in this bed with me. I have never
slept here before, either, and I didn't realize it was just a double
bed. It is going to be kind of close, you know?" Ed said.

"Look Ed, we are friends, right? OK, so we are both gay, but that doesn't
mean either of us is going to make a move on the other person. I like you,
and I think you like me. So what is the big deal? All we are going to do is
go to sleep. I am lots smaller than you are, so I won't take up much room,"
Isaiah answered.

That was true. Isaiah only stood five feet two. Height wasn't one of
Isaiah's strengths. But inside, he was LOTS bigger than outside.

"OK by me, but I am used to only sleeping in my underwear. Is that all
right with you?"

"Sure, I do the same. It isn't a big deal with me at all. If the band takes
off, we are going to have to share beds all the time, or maybe all of us
sleep together on the floor. Who knows?" Isaiah said, as he kicked off his
shoes and removed his socks. "I have a good feeling about us. I think we
may really get to be a good band," he said, as he removed his shorts.

Ed glanced at Isaiah, and blushed BIG time. He had a crush on Isaiah ever
since they had met, and now they were going to SLEEP together! How was he
going to handle himself? All he needed was to get an erection where Isaiah
could see it, and he would die of embarrassment.

What Ed didn't know was Isaiah had the same kind of thoughts. He really
liked Ed too, ever since they had first started rehearsing. Isaiah and Ed
shared the same microphone in lots of songs, so their faces were only
inches apart when they sang together. There were lots of harmony parts to
both Styx and Boston, so there were usually many opportunities for them to
get close. Ed was close to six feet tall, though, and Isaiah felt dominated
by his size, even though Isaiah was an extrovert and very outgoing and Ed
was definitely an introvert.

Isaiah finally removed his shirt, and stood in front of Ed in nothing but
his white briefs. The difference between Isaiah's caramel colored skin and
the brilliant white of his briefs almost took Ed's breath away. He tried
not to stare, but tripped taking off his own shorts and almost fell on the
floor.

(This is my story, and I tend to get up on a soapbox every so often. This
is one of those times. I just got back from a vacation in Florida. I am
Caucasian, have no idea of the mix, and have the darkest tan of my
life. REALLY dark! I had laid out by the community pool for weeks before we
went, making sure I wouldn't burn. I was on #2 sun block the first day. I
used just oil the rest of the week. My friends and family called me the
"dark spot". I have a picture of my son, a friend and I on a boat deep sea
fishing. My son and I have our shirts off. You can see them really well.
You can see my eyes and teeth, and the rest is almost too dark to see.

Doesn't it seem ironic that we, as a country, discriminate against blacks
and hispanics because of their skin color and then spend so much time and
money going to the beach, the pool, and tanning beds, trying to get darker
like them? Once we get home, lots of our sports idols are black people. We
want to wear the shoes and clothes they wear and drink the same drinks they
do. John Rocker of the Atlanta Braves hates anyone who is not a red neck
from South Georgia, but he gets standing ovations most places he pitches,
even on the road a lot of the time. We kind of live in a fucked up country,
don't we?)

"Ed, are you all right?" Isaiah asked.

"Yeah, I am fine. I am just kind of clumsy," he said, blushing deeply. Ed
is blonde (he just doesn't have the blonde brain disease like Keith -
hehehe), and blushing really shows easily with blondes.  Isaiah picked it
up immediately.

"Don't worry about it, Ed. Anyone could trip trying to take off their
shorts standing up. Sit down next to me and it will be lots easier getting
undressed," Isaiah said.

Ed did as he was told and finished removing his shorts. He looked over at
Isaiah and hesitated, but then pulled his t-shirt up and over his
head. Isaiah couldn't help himself, he sneaked a peak at Ed's chest as he
was removing his shirt and was impressed. "Really nice looking chest, good
pec definition," Isaiah thought to himself.

"What side of the bed do you want, Isaiah?" Ed asked.

"I don't care. It is your bed."

"Well, I guess I will take the other side," Ed said, anxious to get away
from Isaiah before he got excited and let something show he didn't want
to. Ed stood up and walked around the bed. The underwear material attached
to the elastic band at the top was torn in several places, one spot three
or four inches long.

"Man, Ed, I don't want to embarrass you, but you better get some new
underwear soon, or you might lose them when they fall down on their own,"
Isaiah said, pointing to the back of Ed's briefs.

Ed saw where Isaiah was pointing to, and whirled around to see for
himself. He again blushed almost scarlet when he saw the huge rip. "My last
two foster parents didn't spend hardly any money on Paul or myself. These
briefs are hand me downs they got from some other family. So are lots of
our other clothes. They both said that we were lucky to have any clothes at
all. We don't have much choice than to wear whatever we are given," he
answered.

"Hey, I don't care. You can sleep naked if you want. In fact, I might like
that. I am sure that when you start to live with Stan, he will make sure
you and Paul have new clothes to start school in," Isaiah replied.

Ed blushed once more when Isaiah said he might like it if Ed slept naked,
but didn't comment. He just continued to walk across to his side of the
bed, and slipped under the sheet. He didn't meet Isaiah's eyes any more
before climbing into bed, which gave Isaiah the opportunity to get his eyes
kind of wander. Especially between Ed's legs. He liked what he saw. He
REALLY liked what he saw.

Ed was an introvert, and there was no way he would ever make the first move
on Isaiah. Isaiah was an extrovert, but he was also kind of shy, unless he
was performing. Then, he turned into a tiger. Both boys had absolutely no
experience with other boys, and were unsure of themselves.  But, they
really liked each other now, and like would gradually grow to love. It
would take some very special circumstances before either boy would ever let
the other know what they felt for each other.

Sorry! Not in this chapter. Got to keep reading. It should be worth
it. Better make sure you have the first Boston and Styx Greatest Hits CD's
though. Lots of references and song lyrics to follow.  (I have made a deal
with both bands and get commissions for each CD I get you to buy -
hehehehe)

                                                ****************************

"Phill, I am not sleepy yet. I want to fast forward some of the songs to
the dual guitar parts and let you listen to them with me. Those will be the
hardest parts for us to learn. You want to get undressed now, or wait until
we are ready to go to bed?" Robbie asked.

Phill didn't have to think at all. He could see Robbie undressed for an
hour or more, walking around the room in almost no clothing, or wait until
he was about to get under the covers. "Erm, lets see, which would I rather
do?" Phill thought to himself.  "Let's get undressed now," he quickly
said. "It is a little bit hot down here, and I think I would learn the
songs a lot quicker if I was comfortable." (Yeah right, Phill! Who do you
think you are kidding? No more subway or train rides for you for a month!!
- hehehe)

"Fine with me. The air conditioning is on, but it does get a little stuffy
down here at night," Robbie answered. Really, Robbie was no different than
Phill. He also wanted to see as much of Phill's body as possible. (But,
Robbie is made up, so I can't tease him like I can Phill.) So, he was happy
to start removing his clothes, as long as Phill was going to do the same.

Both boys sat side by side on the bed as they started to undress, sneaking
quick peeks at each other the whole time. There was an old commercial years
ago, maybe for alka seltzer, where they sang "Anticipation". Anticipation
was a good term to describe each of the boys as they waited for the other
to remove as many of his clothes as he was going to. Maybe eager
anticipation is better.

Both quickly stripped down to nothing but their shorts, and paused for a
moment to see who would make the next move. "Boy, I wish Phill would just
go ahead and strip all the way like Matt and Mike do," Robbie thought to
himself, as his hands went to his waist. "I don't think there is much
chance he will do that, but I can hope, can't I?" he thought, as he
unsnapped and unzipped the shorts, finally pulling them down and off.

Phill had been wearing boxer shorts for years, and even when he had worn
briefs when he was younger, they had been y fronts. He had never seen
typical American briefs before that had the double lines down the front and
sure hadn't seen Robbie wearing just underwear at all, so he stared a
little too long.

Robbie noticed, of course. He was secretly glad that Phill did show an
interest in him. He was already praying that Phill might be gay, too,
because he was quickly falling in love with him. But, he wanted to see
Phill undressed, too. "Uhm, are you going to get undressed, too? This was
your idea, you know," Robbie kidded him.

"Oh sorry. Sorry! I don't know where my mind went," Phill said, blushing
fiercely, as he quickly pulled off his own shorts.

"Wow, nice boxers, Phill. I have been thinking about asking my Mom to buy
me some," Robbie said. "I kind of like the extra support that briefs gives
you, though."

"I really like the look of your briefs. I have never seen any yank
underwear, and I guess that is why I stared. You look good in them. I mean,
erm, well, you know what I mean," Phill stammered, blushing again.

"Hey, it's no big deal. I understand. Come on and let's listen to some of
these songs. I can't wait for us to start learning these parts together,"
Robbie said, with a little smile on his face. Phill did seem interested in
him. Phill seemed VERY interested. Robbie was secretly thrilled.

They stayed up about two more hours, listening to parts of a song,
reversing back, and listening once more. Over and over and over. The only
thing required was their ears and brain, so each of their eyes continued to
wander over the other as the night got later. Phill was beginning to
memorize more and more of each song. It would take him a while to get
caught up with the rest of the band, but he was having a great time so far,
and would spend as much time as it required to become a member. Phill was
also feeling more and more for Robbie as they got closer to each other
during the process.

Finally, both of them were tired, and it was time for bed. "Which side do
you want, Phill?" Robbie asked.

"I don't care. This one is fine with me," Phill answered.

"OK. When everyone is awake, I want to try and play some of the guitar
parts before we start to rehearse with the whole band tomorrow, all right
with you? I have a really good feeling about us playing together. I really
like you a lot already, and we just met today," Robbie said.

"Man, Robbie, why did you have to say that?" Phill asked, turning away.

"What? What did I say?" Robbie asked, coming back over to Phill's side of
the bed.

"Robbie, I didn't know when I was going to tell you this, but I have to do
it now. I can't lie to you. I really like you, too, and I can't risk losing
your friendship if you find out from someone else," Phill said, almost in
tears.

"Phill, I don't have a clue what you are talking about," Robbie answered.

"Robbie, I am gay. I met a boy named Keith a little over a week ago in
London. It is a long story, but he fell in love with me. I think I love
him, too. At least I did before I met you. I had to tell you before we went
to bed. If you don't want to sleep with me now, I will understand and just
go home, OK?" Phill asked.

"Oh," Robbie said, hiding his eyes and walking slowly back to his side of
the bed.

"Look, you said you like me already. I really like you, too. Don't hate me
because I am gay. It isn't something I chose, it is just who I am," Phill
said, coming closer to Robbie, and really starting to tear up.

Robbie turned around and looked Phill in the eye. "I don't hate you. I am
gay, too. I just have never had a boyfriend my own age before, and I
thought I was already falling in love with you.  But, you already have a
boyfriend. I am just disappointed, that's all," he said, as tears slowly
started creeping down his cheeks.

"You thought you loved me already? I was feeling the same way. I just don't
know what to do. I thought I loved Keith before I met you. But now, I
really feel that we are right for each other. I have promised Keith that we
will be together when he gets back from London. I am all mixed up," Phill
said, pulling Robbie to him.

"I feel the same way," Robbie answered.

They just held each other tightly and swayed back and forth. This was the
first physical contact other than shaking hands they had done, but the same
electricity was there. Each of them buried their heads in each others
shoulders, and held on for dear life. They each knew instantly that this is
what they both wanted. BUT!!! Phill had Keith in his life, and had
committed to him. Robbie had been with Stan for over three years. Stan had
always told him he would meet someone his own age and fall in love, but
Robbie had always told him that would never happen, but now it had.  Robbie
felt as committed to Stan as Phill did to Keith.

"Robbie, I really don't know what we are going to do about our
problem. But, I really like you.  Can I ask you a question, though?" Phill,
asked, pulling away from Robbie's embrace.

"Sure, anything," Robbie said, staring into his eyes.

"Well, you said you have never had a boyfriend your own age. Paul said you
don't sleep in your own bed. But, you said you had conflicting feelings
like I do with Keith. I want to understand you. I want us to be together,
more than anything else in the world. But, I don't know what all of this
means," Phill said.

Robbie blushed furiously. "I don't know if I can tell you. I want to, but
you have to make me believe you will never tell anyone else. This is really
important," Robbie said.

"I swear on my life," Phill answered.

Robbie walked around the room, trying to decide whether to share his
biggest secret with the boy he loved. Love won out. "I have been with Stan
for over three years. I came on to him, not the other way around. We have
not done, well you know, we have not gone all the way. I love him, and I
will always love him. It is also a long story, like you and Keith."

"What do we do now?" Phill asked.

Robbie smiled at him, and said, "Looks like we have a lot to work out. I
will make you a deal.  Let's get into bed and I will tell you my story if
you will tell me yours. Even though I really want too, I don't think we are
really ready to do anything more than hold each other and talk tonight. I
think we need to just be friends for a while."

"I agree. But, I have to do this, or we will really never know, will we?"
Phill answered, as he took Robbie into his arms and kissed him
passionately. Robbie kissed back just as passionately. Just like the
natural fit of one shoulder against one cheek, they fit just as good this
way. They seemed to be the perfect pair in all ways. Except one problem. Or
two: Keith. Stan.

                                                *****************************

I was just dosing, still a long way from falling asleep. All the lights
were out and I heard a light knock at my door.

"Come in," I said.

Paul walked in, wearing only white briefs, and shut the door. A little
moonlight was coming through the curtains, or I couldn't have seen him at
all. "What is it, Paul?" I asked.

"Well, everyone but us has someone to sleep with, and I was lonesome. I
thought you would be too, so I decided to come in here and see if I could
sleep with you."

"Paul, this is your first night in this house. Don't you think that you
should sleep in your own bed?" I asked.

"Hey, first night, second night, it doesn't really mean that much to me,
you know? Ed and I really like it here, and we are really thankful that you
would want us to live with you. Ed told me that I should show my gratitude
to you more, so that is what I am trying to do. Now that Robbie and Phill
are getting along so good, I know it is just a matter of time, so I decided
to come to you instead of you coming to me. I tried to give you the hint
earlier, but you didn't understand," Paul said, as he slid under the
covers.

My eyes widened and I sat up and turned on the light next to my bed. "You
mean you think you have to have sex with me to stay in this house?" I asked
softly. "And, you think Robbie and Phill might like each other?"

"First, I can tell Phill is gay like the rest of us. Lots of people call it
gaydar. I can tell, though. And the way they have been looking at each
other makes their feelings pretty plain. As for the sex, that is the way it
has been in some of the places Ed and I have stayed. You told us about
Robbie sleeping with you every night he sleeps here. He is with Phill
now. I know you will want a replacement, and Ed hates it lots more than I
do. I don't really mind it, as long as you don't hurt me. You won't hurt
me, will you?" Paul said, as he looked me in the eyes.

"No, Paul, I won't hurt you. I promise. But, you are wrong about me wanting
to have sex with you. I can only do that with someone I love, and I haven't
known you long enough to even begin to love you like that. And, I will tell
you a secret about Robbie and I. We have never had intercourse at all. I
like you and Ed, and even if I do start to love you, it doesn't mean I will
ever love you like that. What I want to do is learn to love you like your
Dad did. All I want to do right now is turn out the light and have you come
over next to me where I can put my arm around you and hold you. Then, I
want us to have a long talk. I want you to tell me all about all the other
homes you have been in. About all the times you and Ed have been hurt
there, so I can make sure you aren't hurt like that here. Can you do that?"
I asked.

He hesitated, and then said, "I guess so. But, you won't hurt me, right? If
I do what you tell me to do, you won't hurt me."

"I promise. Your hurting days are over, Paul," I said, as I turned off the
light and pulled him to me. He hesitated at first, but then slowly let me
pull him to me and hug him.

This was a long night. We talked for a long time. We each learned a lot
about each other. He had been hurt and abused so many times, he couldn't
let himself go and trust me at first. He finally started talking and
finally the damn inside him burst open and the words came flooding out. We
both cried lots of times. We actually laughed several times. We were always
in each other's arms, holding on to each other. Think "bonding" was a term
you could have used for our three way hug in the car? NOTHING like
THIS!!!!!!!!!!

I learned that Paul and Ed had been sexually abused at two other foster
parent's homes, and were abused many times by Mr. Wilson. He dealt out his
sexual abuse like the beatings, as punishment.  The other boys in the house
would hold down the person getting punished, even through the sexual
assault. As long as it wasn't them, it was all right.

Paul seemed to feel lots better when I finally got him to understand that
wasn't going to happen here. I didn't feel better. I wanted to kill a man
for the first time in my life, and didn't know how I was going to stop
myself. And, I didn't know if I wanted to try.

Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com