Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 15:07:06 -0000
From: Lover boy <love_me_baby91@hotmail.com>
Subject: Passing me by/chapter one

The following story is fiction. Many of the characters have features
Taken from people who mean something to me, or have affected me in
some form, good or bad, little or small.

Don't read this story if you're underage, (whatever that means)
I'm probably underage being 17, so take it easy.
I'm not sure what kind of story this is, but theres violence involved
in this chapter. So if u get upset easy, then maybe it's a good idea
to stop reading.

Passing Me By

The old man sat there in his dark alcove above the beach. He sat
cross-legged looking out to the brilliant blue but cloudy sky. At 50
the old man looked fairly young, his blue eyes seemed to reflect all
50 years of his life, yet gave him a youthful appearance. Looking
back on his life, the old man realised how wasted his life had been.
He'd had good times in his life but had never done something
meaningful. He'd always done things in a way that made him
happy, never contemplating the meaning of life. And now sitting
in his hide-away cave at the beach he realised that he now wanted
to contemplate the meaning of life. What were we? Why were we
here? Why were we alive. And just what the hell was life? He
thought of labour, and he thought of love and tried to make sense
of life. Just then a robin flew and landed on the floor of the cave;
it looked up at the old man, staring at him blankly. The old man
returned the blank stare, and a smile formed on his face. He
reached out his hand to the little Robin, without a thought it
hopped into his hand. It was so beautiful, it looked at the man and
unspoken words passed between them. The robin hopped off the
old mans hand and hopped out of the cave.

"No! Come back! Please! Please come back!" The old man started
to get up when a seagull flew into the cave and landed in front of
him. He fell over on his ass, he stopped and stared at the bird, it
returned his stare and then screeched. The old man was confused,

"Who are you?" the words formed and were released without a
single thought. And then he realised he was talking to a seagull.
The seagull screeched again and with that, it turned and flew out of
the cave. The old man paused and considered the events that had just
taken place, he climbed up brushing the dirt off of himself. The sun
was setting and he decided he should be going. He climbed out of
the cave reaching out with his foot, trying to establish some
stability on the rocks. He looked for a foothold. When he felt
stable he pushed out and balanced all his weight on his foot. He
slipped on the shiny looking rock, and without a sound fell 100
feet to the bottom, where he eventually hit his head on the jagged
edge of a rock. He lost consciousness instantly. Blood trickled down
his forehead and merged with the running water of the lake.


"Marty! MARTY!!! Get your scrawny little ass here!" I jumped
through the wooden door and ran as fast as I could out into the
yard, I tripped over a rusty bucket and flew almost in a dive
crashing into the hard, rocky surface. I scrambled to my feet
checking my injuries, my arms were scraped pretty bad, but there
was no time. I made a break for the wooden gates and was just about
to attempt an impossible vault over them, when my mum called out
to me.

"Stop right there! Don't you dare run away from me! Come here
NOW!"
I froze, and turned around to see a thin middle aged woman with
her head out of my bedroom window, her hair was in a big bushy
mess and her face was going purple. Damn. I could have made it;
I was in for hell now. I turned and walked slowly towards the
house. I walked in through the old battered wooden door, and
almost stepped on Matt.

"Hey boy! Almost stepped on you buddy! Come here boy" I
cuddled him to me, and he licked at my face lovingly, making me
giggle.

"Love you too boy, Yeah I do." I licked him back and picked him
up with both arms. He whimpered in pain.
"What's wrong boy? Huh? What is it?" I set him down and saw
fresh blood on my hands, it wasn't mine there was too much of it
and I had only scraped myself slightly. I got worried, I scanned
Matt's body, looking for where the blood came from and then I
saw it, a nasty looking gash on his underbelly.
"Oh boy, I'm so sorry. That's what's been bugging you. How did
this happen boy? Huh? I'll make it ok, don't u worry " Matt
looked up and stared at me directly, he looked like such a dumb
mutt, he was so skinny and so weak. Maybe it'd be better if I went
along with my dad and let him put Matt to sleep. But I wasn't a
kid; I knew what putting him to sleep really meant. My dad used to
keep an old magnum in his drawer. I saw him take it out once,
Matt had been ill and my dad was sick of it. Luckily dad was too
drunk to load the bullets, and Matts life was spared. Matt was my
best friend; I didn't have any real friends. All the other kids living
in the neighbourhood were brought up to hate me, their parents
told them to stay away from us. My older brother had been
involved in a shooting at a grocery store a year ago, he had a
reputation around town and everyone hated or feared him. My dad
was an alcoholic and had been in and out of jail for lots of
different stuff. And my mum, well she was well known around
town. A lady of the night, is what the older kids at school called
her, snickering, thinking I was too dumb to know what they meant.
That's how it was, I was a poor, little bastard. Nobody liked me,
the teachers looked at me with disgust and wouldn't even come
near me, the other kids either teased me or kept their distance, they
were afraid. That's what hurt me the most, all I ever wanted was to
be loved, just to have one person for the first time in my life tell
me that they loved me, or even that they just liked me. I didn't
have anyone like that ever; all I had was my dumb dog. Now that I
think about it, I had one "friend" when I was 12 years old.
He was called Sunny, he had the most beautiful hair, I remember it
shone so beautifully in the sun, I think that's where his name came
from, I don't remember. One day Sunny asked me to go swimming with
him down by the river near his farm. Now I had never been to his
farm before, I had never met his parents but I knew that they owned
a lot of land and that scared me. But I liked Sunny, he treated me
like I was just as good as him. Sunny had been the new boy in school
and I guess that's why we became friends for a while.
Anyhow, when we got to his farm, I met his mum. She took one
look at me and asked me to leave. She told Sunny to get inside and
then had Sunnys two older brothers beat me and chase me away.
They kept telling me that they didn't want no diseased, dirt
kid hanging around Sunny. From that day on Sunny never spoke
to me again, he avoided being around me but he would never
participate in the teasing. He always made sure not to intentionally
hurt me, and that hurt me even more. I knew he must've liked me,
but he wouldn't even tell me that. That day I went to the field
behind my house near the railway tracks and cried all day until
sunset, that was the one time in my life that I actually felt like
dying. But I love god, maybe god doesn't love me but he gave me
a life, maybe it wasn't the best life but it was better than what
some people got. And so I learned to be grateful and I tried to
praise god for every little thing that I had, including my dog.
I heard keys in the front door and I panicked it was my dad, if he
saw Matt, he would kill him. He always said that there were more
than enough mouths to feed in this house. I picked Matt up and
grabbed a blanket from the sofa wrapping him in it. Matt
whimpered.
"It's ok boy, I'll protect you, I'll take good care of you. Don't you
worry one bit boy, I got you."
I turned grabbing a piece of meat from the bowl in the kitchen
table and ran out into the yard. I tripped over the same bucket that
I ran into in the morning, I fell on top of Matt, he didn't make a
sound. I scrambled trying to get up and get the stupid bucket off
my foot.
"Get off! Fuck! Come on!" I finally freed my foot from the stupid
bucket. Checking on Matt I made sure he was ok; he was still
alive. I climbed up onto the trashcan near the gate, finding it hard
to balance well with Matt in my arms.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Oh shit. My dad. I turned slowly
looking at him, he was a big man, very muscled and evidently
from the bruises on my stomach very handy with his fists. He
always scared me. My dad began to advance towards me.

"You little shit, what the fuck is that in your hands?" I began to
panic.

"Uh. Its nothing dad. I'm not doing anything. I swear, I was just
playing here and I found this, look I'll throw it" I threw the blanket
with Matt in it over the gate hoping my dad wouldn't see Matt.

"You lying, little Bastard! That's your mother's blanket. You
ungrateful little shit! I'm gonna teach you some morals. Lie to me
would ya? Well we'll see about that now, I'll make you sorry." My
dad grabbed the bucket, that stupid, fucking bucket. I tried to jump
over the gate but my foot caught on the lid of the trashcan hooking
my leg and sending me crashing into the floor. My dad grabbed a
bunch of my hair and pulled me up.

"Please dad, I wasn't doing anything. I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry.
Matt's hurt, I just wanted to help him. I'm sorry! " I screamed as
the metal bucket smashed into my head; I was knocked sprawling
to the floor. But it didn't stop there.
"You gonna lie to me? Huh? Answer me you little ungrateful shit"
My dad kicked me in the gut, knocking all the air from out of me,
my inhaler fell from my pocket and went flying into the bushes
nearby. I gasped for air, I couldn't breathe, my asthma was
triggered but that just annoyed my father more.

"Look at you, you little wuss. Haven't even touched you and
you're crying like a baby." My face was going blue; I gasped for
my inhaler. My dad noticed that.

"Shit, look at you, are you a little girlie? Want your inhaler? Huh?
I paid money for that inhaler it better not be broken!" I heard a
scream, but had no idea where it came from. My dad fell to the
floor and I realised that the scream had come from my dad. He was
clutching his head. I tried to turn over but the pain was too much,
then I felt two heavy arms lifting me up. I gasped; trying to get to
my inhaler, and then I felt it being pushed gently to my mouth, I
grabbed at it frantically and began to puff on it. I began coughing
and fell to the floor; I felt a gentle hand on my back, and someone
said something. I couldn't stop wheezing and coughing, stumbling
to my feet I tried to stand up, my knees buckled and everything
went black as I passed out and fell to the floor.

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