Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 13:08:39 -0800 (PST)
From: carson carruthers <carsoncarruthers@yahoo.com>
Subject: Robert's First Love

Robert's First Love
By:Carson Carruthers

Robert, not Bob, lay on the grassy knoll over looking the pond. It was
hot. The summer had been one of the hottest summers anyone could
remember. Robert was dressed only in a pair of kaki shorts and a pair of
low cut sneakers. Clothes were not an option on an afternoon like this one
in South Carolina. 100 in the shade. That is what the weather man had said
on the radio. Robert was a big boy for his age, 12. Most people thought
that he was at least in high school. Most of his relatives were pretty big
people, so at least at home he did not feel out of place.  He did feel out
of place until his cousin, Carl, had spent the night and they had both
sleep in his double bed the summer before. They had gotten naked under the
spray of the hose, and then gotten erections.

Carl, who was older and more experienced, had made the move and, as they
say, the rest is history. Robert now not only acknowledge that he was gay
but had sex with several other guys. Carl was the first person to comment
on how large his dick was. He had told him that there were other people
like themselves. Carl said that Uncle Spencer had been the first one to do
him. Uncle Spencer? He was his favorite uncle. He was all man. His muscles
bulged under his tee shirt. There was another bulge in his jeans that
Robert had noticed. Carl said that Uncle Spencer had fed him that cock for
over three years. He had eventually taken it up the ass. Carl had a lot of
knowledge about all of the sex that was involved when two men came
together. He admitted that he was a queer and a faggot. He was a good role
model in that he explained to Robert that he did not have to be a fairy. He
did not have to be swishy. There was nothing wrong with it, if that was the
way you were, but just because you were gay did not mean that you could not
be manly. Just look at Uncle Spencer. Robert, not Bob, had started at that
point to feel a lot better about himself and how he felt about other
men. He was proud that he could get a hard on looking at boys in the
shower. No one had said a thing except to ooh and aaah over the size of his
cock. He could have any one of them sucking it or feeling of it at
least. He was not a pushy or a bully. He would never force anyone to have
sex.

He was much more mature in his mind and in his sexual orientation than some
boys who were in college. Robert was a big person -- body, soul, mind and
cock.

Just to say that Robert, not Bob, he hated it when anyone called him Bob,
was big is somehow not saying enough. For a 13 year old boy, Robert was
almost 6 foot tall and weight about 160. There was no fat. He was not
muscled like a lifter, but there was definition in his stomach and chest
and his shoulders. He ran a lot. Not on a team but just out running. He
swam, rode his bike everywhere and did chores for his mom. Sometimes he
would actual work at the store with his father. His father had a high
classed clothing store in town. Robert would help unload trucks and stock
shelves. It was never anything too heavy, but he worked hard when he did
work. His father was a big man like himself, but he had started to get a
paunch and was constantly going to go on a diet but never did. Robert was
not just big but a growing boy. His mother said that it was a good thing
that his father owned a clothing store since any other family would have
gone broke trying to keep him in clothes that fit. He did have good clothes
that were stylish. He appreciated that his parents could give him nice
clothes and told them. He was a big hugger and a big one to show his
affection to other people.

There was something else that was big about Robert. At 13 he already had an
7 inch cock. He had started growing when he was in the fifth grade and had
just turned 10 years old. That was the first time that he noticed that he
was a lot larger than the other boys in the class. Then, at the start of
the sixth grade, he had a lot of pubic hair where very few of his friends
had any at all or else just a small amount. Some of them seemed to count
how many hairs that they had every day. He had plenty of the boys who
wanted to see his cock and many of them wanted to touch it. He assumed that
they were just curious and allowed them to do what they wanted. There were
a couple of guys who appeared to be really fascinated with his cock and
actually kissed it. Robert was no fool he knew what was going on. Carl had
already told him about man sex and he had blowjobs from Carl, Will and
Phil. Hell, Carl had already been giving him head for the past year. His
dick was almost twice the size of Carl's and Carl was already 16.

Robert had already had some experience with another boy, but it would be
years before he ever told anyone about the first boy that he loved and
lost. There was one boy, Eugene, who lived near him who was really into
kissing his cock.  It was Gene that had said he wanted to see his cock one
afternoon when they had been playing behind his father's garage.  Robert
asked him, "You want to touch it,too?"

"Probably.  I ain't seen it yet."



"Hell, maybe you'll want to kiss it.  I tell you what you promise to kiss
it hello and I will let you play with it as long as you want."

Gene had thought about it for a while.  Robert pulled his shorts down and
showed his classmate his boner.  It was hard and circumcised.  The head was
glowing red and filled with blood.  Gene just stood there. He then reached
for it. "You gonna kiss it?"

Gene dropped to his knees and gave Robert's cock a big smacking kiss.

"Hey that is good.  Here there is special way to kiss another boy's cock.
Let me show you.  First, open your mouth.  Good.  Now I am going to lay my
cock on you tongue.  Good.  Stick your tongue out.  Now close you lips
around it. NO. Becarefull don't clap down on it with you teeth. Ummmm.
That's better," Robert patted the boy on the head.  He started rocking back
and forth letting his cock fuck in and out of Gene's face.

"Am I doing it right?" Gene ask taking the cock from his mouth and wiping
his chip with the arm of his shirt.

"Oh, yeah.  But to make the kissing better, run your tongue round and round
my dick.  And suck.  That's it suck it.  We would not want people thinking
that you gave blow jobs.  So suck on it instead."  Robert actually felt bad
that he was tricking Eugene into sucking his cock but he knew that the boy
really wanted to do it.  He could tell.  Robert ran his fingers through
Eugene's mousey hair.

Gene was the same age as Robert.  It was hard to believe. Here was Robert
with an adult cock standing almost six feet and Eugene who looked like a
grammar school boy.  Gene was a short kid who wore big rimmed
glasses. Other boys picked on him. Robert thought that he was just a sweet
kid. He would make the other boys leave Gene alone. One afternoon after
school he was walking home by himself, and he saw a couple of the older
kids beating up on someone. When he got close enough to see what was
happening, he saw that they were hitting and kicking Gene and calling him
faggot and queer. Robert saw red for the first time in his life. The anger
he felt was so intense that his blood rushed to his head and blinded
him. He went flying into the bigger of the two boys who were on top of
Eugene. He beat the shit out of the boy, giving him two black eyes and a
nose that was running blood everywhere. He had caught one good one to the
gut of the other boy before he took off running.

Robert took Eugene in his arms and held him. Robert's tears were dropping
onto Eugene's cheek. He called softly to Eugene and ran his fingers through
the boy's blond hair that lay sweaty and matted on his forehead. His broken
glasses were lying on the gound beside them. Robert held the boy close to
his body and rocked back and forth. "Gene. Eugene. Everything is going to
be okay now. They have gone. Please, Gene, wake up. Wake up so that I can
tell you that I love you."

Gene started to move in his arms. He looked down to see that his eyes were
opened. There was a scrap on his chin where they had hit him. He may have
damage to his ribs but he appeared okay. "How do you feel, Eugene?" Robert
asked him.

Gene looked bewildered. "Did I die and go to heaven? I though I heard you
say that you loved me. I must have died when those boys started beating me
up. Heaven looks so much like Elm Street that I lived on. But it has to be
heaven because you are here holding me."

"Naw, Gene, you're still alive. I just beat the shit out of the two boys,
and they took off. I did say I love you, and I'm not going to take it
back."

"I love you too. Why are you crying?"

"I thought that you might be dead or hurt really badly. I really do care
about you, Gene."

That afternoon Robert took Gene to Gene's house. He undressed him and
examined his wounds. He decided that Gene should get a shower. To help him
he undressed and went into the shower with him. They washed each other. As
they had been soaping each other, Robert's dick had started to grow. Gene
appeared more fascinated than before. He put both hands on it and started
to masterful jack him off. Gene's little prick looked like a pencil stub
compared to what Robert had sticking out straight from his pubic bush. Gene
still had no hair on his crotch. Robert took it between his finger and
thumb and jacked it just as Gene was servicing his much larger cock. The
two boys both let out loud moans and each ejaculated on to the side of the
shower. Gene's was just a small amount of cum whereas Robert appeared to
produce a gallon of spunk which dripped down the wall. Both boys looked at
each other and smiled. " That was the best ever." They both said in unison.

That had been just last fall. Since then lots more changes had occurred. He
and Gene had been boyfriends. Where one went the other one was there. Never
did any of the larger boys try to pick on Gene after the word got out what
would happen if you did. Then it happened. Gene's father and mother split
up. Gene went to live with his grandfather in North Carolina. After
Christmas, the two boys cried and said their last good byes. It had been a
sad time for Robert and Eugene.


Robert spent all his time now going on long bike rides even in the snow. He
would try to find things to do to keep himself busy. He read a lot. Gene
wrote to him about what was happening there with his grandfather. He said
that no one had tried to beat him up. That he had made friends with the boy
that lived on the next farm whose name was Bob. He thought that Robert and
Bob would like each other. They were a lot alike. Then the letters came
less frequently. Robert noticed that they were mostly about Bob or what Bob
said or did. He could read between the lines. Eugene had found another one
to love. Robert was jealous at first, but then he realized that he was now
free to look for someone himself. Robert, afterwards, insisted on being
called Robert and never Bob.  He started looking for someone who was like
his Eugene had been.  He was to find out later that it was impossible to
ever replace the first boy that you love.


Please send mail to carsoncarruthers@yahoo.com