Date: Thu, 17 Jun 1999 11:47:21 CDT From: Scott Someone <scott12gtb@hotmail.com> Subject: Scotts Journal (b/b) Authors Note: This story contains a description of sex between boys. I guess I should say that if you're not supposed to read this then don't. All the other stories I have read say that. But it doesn't make much sense to me, since I'm only 12. If I can write something like this, then I think you should be able to read it. But the law says something different, and from where I am from this stuff if wrong. I guess that makes me wrong for writing it. But I don't care. It's who I am. So if I have to go to jail or therapy or something for it than that's what I'll do. But it wont change me. This is a true story. Only those involved will know if I've changed the names or the facts. If that's you, and you want to talk about it, then find me and we'll talk. I'd love it. It its not you, then don't bother. My Story -- How It All Began By: Scott12 Hi. My name is Scott and this is the story about how I knew I liked boys. I have been considering writing this for some time now, and I guess I have finally decided to do it. See, I had this best friend names Brian. Brian is 2 moths younger than I am. I'm 12 now, and Brian and I no longer talk to each other. Why exactly still bothers me because he was my first love. Yah, love. 12 years old and in love. Bitch, ain't it? Anyway I've known Brian ever since kindergarten. He has brown hair, the kind that is real thick and stringy. And he has brown eyes. We would always hang out together and do stuff together. Sometimes, though, I thought Brian was weird. Like when he would always pinch my butt. He did it all the time, on the playground, in the locker room, when we would play in the woods behind his house. It always made me feel weird. One time we were playing at my house. I guess we were in the third or fourth grade. We had this closet in the play room that we loved to hide in. Well, we went in and Brian said he wanted to play a game. "What kind of game?" I asked. "It's really neat. What you do is we pull our pants down and I get behind you and push my wiener into your butt. When it's all the way in, you say 'clear'". "I don't know about that. It sounds kind of weird." "No, its really fun. You'll like it" he said as he unzipped his jeans and pulled down his pants. "Then after you say clear, I will pull my wiener out and turn around and you can do it to me." "I guess so" I said as I unzipped my shorts and took out my little 2 inch wienie. Now, I have seen Brian naked plenty. Especially in the locker room at school. His dick is about 1-1/2 inches long and thicker than mine. But he has this cute black mole on the side of it. I always thought it was funny and thought that I wouldn't want a big black mole on my dick. Anyway, Brian moved behind me. It was kind of hard because we were both on our knees on top of the pile of toys that was thrown in the closet. But I felt Brian's wiener touch by butt. "Pull your cheeks apart" he said. I did and I felt Brian's wiener go deep between my cheeks. I kind of freaked out and said "Clear." Then Brian pulled out of me and turned around. He grabbed his butt cheeks and spread open for me. I cautiously moved my wiener toward him. We had turned off the light so it was dark, but I could feel the heat from his body. It felt like Brian was yards away from me as I held my soft wiener pointing toward his butt. Then I felt the contact. All of the sudden I was way too close to him. But I kept pushing because he never said "clear." My hand was pressed between my thigh and Brian's butt cheeks trying to get close enough. "Push in farther" he said. "I am" I said as I pushed as hard as I could. I could feel my little wiener beigh squished between his spread cheeks. "That feels good" he said. After what seemed like 10 minutes he finally said "clear." We traded positions and a couple more times before Brian decided the game was over. As we got out of the closet, I felt really weird about what we had just done. It was dirty and exciting at the same time. Nothing else really happened like that for a long time, except for the butt pinching and Brian occasionally groping me for a long time. And we were still best friends, closer I guess. Then came the news. It was the summer before we were going to start sixth grade. Brian and I were both 10. My mom and dad were going to buy a house in a town about 40 miles away where my dad worked. I didn't really want to move because I would loose all my friends, and especially my best friend Brian. But there was nothing I could do. So we moved at the end of the summer so that we could "get settled" before the new school year began. The next year at my new school was hard. Really hard. I was a new kid in a small town school. To make things worse, I'm smart. I didn't understand it because I had never really thought about it. For me it was just schoolwork. But I guess the private school I went to pushed it's students a lot harder. I just sailed through the lessons. Then there was my Dad. He was a doctor, so I was automatically a "rich kid". I hated that. I mean I was no different than any other kid in that school. But because I lived in the country club and my parents had nice cars, and I had nice clothes I was treated differently. All this, my glasses and chili-bowl haircut added up to a low self esteem. But Brian and I talked on the phone about once a week and would go to see each other every couple of months. At least I hadn't lost my best friend. The next summer Brian's parents convinced my parents to let me go to this week long summer camp that Brian went to. Cool, I though. We would at least have the summer together. So off we went. As it turned out I wasn't able to share the same cabin with Brian. I was supposed to make other friends. They didn't understand that this was my best friend that I was moving away from when we got back. Anyway I made up this story at camp that I had a girlfriend. I really didn't, but it seemed to impress Brian that I had already found a girlfriend. I guess I thought that it would seem like I was really happy and really cool in my new life. Anyway I even went so far as to write her letters, then tear them up when I was back in my cabin. I did notice that I started looking at the other boys, though. Max was a camp veteran for many years, and everyone who knew him though he was cool. I think he was 14. I went down to the shower house to piss and when I got there he was standing in the door completely NAKED! I found myself staring at his huge penis and thick bush of hair. 'I wish I had that much hair' I thought to myself. But I felt my dick start to get hard, so I turned around and went back to my cabin. There was this other boy from France. I didn't see him naked, but I just thought he looked sexy with his earring. Then there was John. John was 11, blond, tall and lanky. He was the but of all the jokes in the cabin. I guess we just thought he was goofy. Anyway, one afternoon when the counselor was out, there were about five of us in the cabin plus John. He was going to take a shower and standing around in his "tighty-whities". Everyone started making fun of him. The more he shouted "cut it out" the more we gave it to him. Someone then pulled off his underwear so John was naked. John's dick was the longest I have ever seen. It must have been 5 or 6 inches long, but was skinny and cut. He tried to hide himself, but no one would let him. John started to get stiff. Not all the way, but about half way. Everyone started to call him a fag. I guess I would have gotten hard too. But anyway he jumped into his bunk and covered up. Everyone left having humiliated John enough. Later that night, I started making fun of John again, calling him "faggot" and stuff. I guess it really pissed him off because he ran over to my bunk and jumped on top of me. "If I'm a fag then why don't you do something about it" he said. I was all the way turned on! I didn't want him to stop, and if we had been alone I would have done something besides lay under my covers and hide. But I didn't. He soon got off me and went back to bed. I just laid there in silence until everyone else was asleep so I could jerk off. I was pretending that I was jerking off John. I came really hard. Not a lot came out because I had just started to sperm, but it was intense. I felt really guilty right after I came and fell asleep feeling really down on myself. I guess that's when I started to recognize that I liked boys more than girls. And I didn't think I wanted to be that way. And so went the rest of camp. About a month after the new school year started, Brian called me up and invited me to spend the weekend at his house. "Sure. That would be great. Let me ask my parents." "OK" Brian said. I ran down stairs and asked my mom. She said she didn't see why not. She would have to ask my dad when he got home, but she didn't think there would be a problem. I ran back upstairs to tell Brian the news. "Dude, it's cool with my mom. You got anything planned?" "Nay, not really. Bring you bathing suit. Mom got the hot tub running yesterday." Brian replied. "Cool! When should I be there?" "Well, if you can get here Friday that would give us another night." "I'll be there. I'll have my mom call your mom and set everything up!" "Cool. I'll see you Friday" "Bye" "Bye" I was psyched. I couldn't wait until Friday. I hadn't seen Brian since summer camp. Brian had the coolest house. It was older and had these really cool passages between the rooms. And we always would get up to something cool in the woods behind his house. When the last bell rang on Friday, I was like the first one out in the parking lot looking for my mom. She drove me down to Brian's. We spent Friday evening running around the woods playing commando. I don't know why he always insisted on winning, but he did and I let him. I just guess that's how our relationship was. Brian's mom let us sit in the hot tub for about 30 minutes after dinner. Then she made us get out and go up to bed. We stayed up late talking, until Brian's dad came in and told us to quit talking and go to sleep. They were really strict about that for some reason. Anyway, I didn't sleep that great. Brian has this really big waterbed which I'm not used to sleeping on. I felt like I was in a boat or something every time he would roll over in bed. I guess I finally fell to sleep. Saturday came far too quickly. But when Brian woke me up I was excited because we were going for pizza and an afternoon at the arcade. By Saturday evening it was like we had never been apart for a whole year! Best and closest friends again. We took turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed, showering, brushing teeth, and all. Brian went first and came out in these denim gym shorts and no shirt. For the first time I looked at his 11 year old chest and felt strange. I can't describe it, but I really liked what I say. His stomach was flat, and his nipples were this light brown color. And his skin looked like milk. I shook the thoughts out of my head and went into the bathroom to do my thing. When I came out, Brian was already in bed and had the lights out. The glow from the fish tank lit the room in this weird blue light. It was kinda cool. I took my T-shirt off and climbed onto my side of the bed. We lay in bed talking about the day and stuff. Eventually we started talking about sex. What we had done, how far we had gone with our "girlfriends" (remember mine was made up, and his probably was too), and what we would like to do with them. I got this really big boner. I was wearing these really tight corduroy short which my older brother (by 10 years) had worn. You could see my boner really well. In fact you could tell I was cut the shorts were so tight. But we just lay there talking on top of the covers. I wanted to touch myself sooo bad but I though Brian would think I was weird. That's when it happened. Brian was laying on my right. He reached over with his right hand and pinched the shaft of my hard on. Electricity shot through my body which stunned me for a second. 'Did he really just reach over and touch my dick?' I though. He must have, because I was hornier than I think I had ever been in my life. I laid there thinking about what he had done for ever. Neither of us said anything. Then I decided. I took a deep breath, reached over with my left hand and started to feel Brian's boner. My hand tingled as it made contact with Brian's dick. He felt so hard. My heart was beating so hard I could feel it in my throat. I still remember the feel of the denim. "Do you know where you just touched me?" His whispered voice startled me. Did I know? Of course I knew I was feeling up his rock hard dick. And I really liked it. "Yah" was all I said as I moved my hand away. "Did you like what you felt?" Brian asked. "Yah." "You don't have to stop" Brian said. I put my hand back, feeling his dick through his shorts. It must have been about 3 or 3-1/2" long. Mine was bigger by far, but I wasn't think about that then. "Why don't we pretend like were boyfriend and girlfriend" Brian said. "I don't get it" I said. "You lay on top of me and pretend like I'm your girlfriend. I'll pretend like you are my girlfriend." "OK" was all I could say as I cautiously climbed on top of Brian. I could feel Brian's hard 3-1/2 inches pressing against my 4-1/2 inches. All I could do was breath heavily and grind. It felt great! "Lets pretend like were kissing. But I will put my hand between our mouths so we're not really kissing another boy." I didn't say anything as Brian put his hand up and started kissing it. I just kissed the back of his hand. "Oh, Cynthia" Brian moaned. "Ugh, Jennifer" I moaned back, still trying to pretend that Brian was a girl. His hard penis rubbing across my dick made me excitedly aware that he was a boy, though. We ground together and moaned and kissed Brian's hand for about five minutes. We were both really excited. "Lets take our shorts off" I said. "OK" Brian said. He had his off before I could roll over and undo my zipper. I took my pants off and resumed my position on top of Brian. When our rock hard dicks touched each other I thought I would cum right then. We ground our pubes together as our dicks sword fought with each other. I felt every touch, every glance. I was soo hot. "Can I suck your nipple?" Brian asked. "If I can suck you dick" I found myself replying, not knowing where it was coming from. All I know was that I wanted to taste his dick. "No, that would be gay" he replied. "Then you can't suck my nipples." "Come on" Brian said. "I really want to suck your nipple." Brian raised is ass of the bed and gave me three really long, hard thrusts. He had me. "OK" I said as Brian raised his head and began to lick on my nipple. That felt great! I don't know what nerve he hit, but it was connected directly to my dick. It made me twitch and mash my boner against his stomach. He sucked for 2 or 3 minutes. "Let me fuck you like a girl" Brian said. "How are we going to do that?" I asked. "Let me show you" Brian said as he got off the bed and pulled me after him. We stood at the end of his bed, in front of the fish tank. Brian stood behind me, spread my legs, bent me over, and started to probe my anus with his 3-1/2 inches of boy dick. That was by far the most electrifying feeling he had generated in me all night. But as he poked and poked, nothing would happen. "We need some kind of lubrication" I said. "I don't have anything" Brian returned. "Don't you have any Vaseline or hand lotion?" "No." "Let me try you" I said. We switched positions. I poked at Brian's ass for a couple of minutes with even less success than he had with me. "It's just not going to work" Brian said. "Are you sure you don't have any kind of lube?" I really wanted this. "Nope. None." We went back to the bed and laid down naked next to each other, hardons sticking up in the air. I reached over and gently took hold of his dick. I stroked it a few times. He did the same to me. Then we both let go at the same time. "I'm getting tired" I said. "Me too. It's 2:30!" "No way!" "Way! Maybe we should keep our pants off so my parents will know how much we love each other." Brian said. This floored me. He said the L word. Whoa. I was still hot and bothered from what had just happened. Now throw in the L word and I really didn't know what to think. "Maybe not" Brian said. So we both put our shorts back on and went to sleep. We slept in late on Sunday. Brian and I finally woke up about 11:00 when his mom called us down for breakfast. We ate a quick bowl of serial, neither of us saying much at all. When we got back to his room, we started wrestling on the bed. We ended up head-to-toe kind of wedged between the side wall and the mattress of the waterbed. I was fully hard by now remembering what we did the night before. That's when I felt Brian reach up the leg of my shorts and pull out my erection. Then I felt his hot lips wrap around the head of my 4-1/2 inches of steel hard boy dick. My mind was spinning with the feelings of what was happening between my legs. I followed suit by pulling Brian's shorts down to his knees. There was his dick staring me in the face. I tentatively stuck my tongue out and touched the head of his dick. God it was good. I grabbed his shaft with my left hand, pointed it to my mouth, and lowered my head. His hot, hard dick was in my mouth. I couldn't believe it. I was sucking Brian's dick! He told me to watch my teeth. So I was more careful. I ran my tongue around the head. I kept this up until I felt Brian's body stiffen up. Then I was flooded with a whole new sensation. Brian had cum in my mouth. I swallowed before I knew what I was doing. I kept sucking until he pushed my head away. Brian got off the bed. "I've got to go get some clean clothes." Those were the only words either of us said. It felt like Brian was gone for an hour. I was still stunned by what had happened. I needed to talk about it. But he didn't say anything. He jumped back on the bed and started wrestling again. He won again, assuming the position of victory I was long since accustomed. He was sitting on my stomach with his knees pinning my arms to the bed. I tried to reach for his dick through his jeans. He just pushed my hands away. My parents showed up shortly after this and I left. I felt like there was this big, empty hole left in me. I was gay. I had to be because I enjoyed what we did together. I wanted to do more things like that. I wanted to taste his cum in my mouth again. I wanted his dick up my ass. This I knew. But it wasn't to be. We talked every once in a while. But we never mentioned what happened again. It didn't take very long for us to quit talking all together. So, that's how I know. One fantastic sexual experience left unfinished.