Date: Mon, 25 Jan 1999 20:47:44 -0800 (PST)
From: Bill <bil47_new@yahoo.com>
Subject: Shy Boy (b/t, b/b Mast, Oral, Anal)

NOTE: This story is a combination of truth and fiction. Some of these
events happened, others did not. Those that actually happened have
been embellished. Though I am no longer a teen, I will never forget
how I thought and felt when I was. All names have been changed, other
than my own.

Shy Boy (b/t, b/b Mast, Oral, Anal)
 
by Bill

	Hi. My name is Bill and I'm a 16-year-old high school 
sophomore.  I'm gay. (I think.) Maybe I'm kind of young 
to decide this, but I've been analyzing my life and my personality - 
and reading the stories on ASSGM and the Nifty Archive - and 
I'm pretty well convinced. In coming to understand my sexual 
orientation, I've tried to analyze how I got to be the way I am - 
both sexually and personality-wise - so I decided to just write it 
down. I guess this is sort of my "self-therapy" project. 

	Like the title says, I was a "shy boy". Still am, 
but to a lesser extent. Back when I was 12, I was REALLY shy. 
Not pathologically so, mind you, just a complete loner. Want to 
know why? Well, I'll tell you anyway. Ready? (Deep breath) I 
was a bed wetter until I was 11 years old. "Big deal" most of 
you are saying. But I bet there are at least a few of you out there 
who went through the same thing.
						
	Think about it. I could never accept an invitation to go to a 
sleep-over at another kid's house. I could never go on an overnight 
camping trip or to summer camp. In order not to be invited to 
spend the night at another kid's house, I felt that I couldn't afford 
to make any close friends. Because my room always had a slight 
urine smell, I would never invite anyone into it. I made an art out 
of being a loner and actively discouraged people from getting 
to be my friend.

	My parents and older brother never shamed me about it, 
but I carried around such a burden of self-imposed shame that I still 
feel its weight. Not only did I not want any of my peers to discover 
my embarrassing secret, I think I subconsciously considered myself 
unworthy of being someone's friend. But this story isn't a "water 
sports" thing. I don't get off on that sort of thing. It's about my 
experiences with other boys; of being used by some; and of finally 
being rescued by the love of one special person.

	When I was 11, near the end of 5th grade, I had my last 
"accident" and have never wet the bed since. I guess this should 
have made me break out of my shell of solitude, but it didn't. 
It was too well-ingrained. Understand, I'm not unattractive 
(and these days, I've got a pretty buffed body), and I'm reasonably 
smart; I've even got a decent sense of humor. So the fact that I
had essentially no friends was basically the result of my self-image 
and the way I'd push people away. Starting the 6th grade - the 
first year of middle school - I had an opportunity to get a fresh 
start, but of course I didn't. My personality was too well-entrenched. 

	Well, now we get to the sexual part of my story. The early 
part of my puberty started when I was 11. Maybe even before I 
stopped wetting the bed. I was really naive about sex. My parents 
told me practically nothing, and I didn't even having the benefit of 
sharing misinformation with friends. But I knew that my balls were 
hanging lower, and I knew how good it felt to hold my little dick 
and feel it rise to a "stiffy". But that spring, something dramatic 
happened that I will never forget.

	It was April of my 6th grade year, and I had turned 12 back 
in January. I found myself in the boys' restroom standing next to 
a "skateboard punk" from the 7th grade. His name was Nick, and 
he was a full head taller than me. Ever since I got to middle school, 
I'd gotten into the habit of checking out other kids' dicks when I 
peed.  My curiosity in this regard usually increased if the kid at the 
next urinal was a 7th or 8th grader. Standing next to Nick, my 
eyeballs shifted over to scope out his equipment, and I was instantly 
mesmerized by what had to be the largest soft dick I had ever seem 
on a middle school boy. Visualizing it now, it must have been at least
5 inches. Apparently, it became obvious to Nick that I was 
staring, because when he was shaking off the last few drops he 
turned his body toward me slightly. Then he started lightly  stroking  
his thick hose with his fingers, filling it out to a half-hard 6
inches. 
When I finally pulled my eyes away from his dick, I saw that he 
was looking right at my face.

	"Pretty big, huh?" he said.

	"Yeah!"

	"You like the way it looks?"

	"Sure!"

	"Want to touch it?"

	I blushed. "Uhhh... Sure!"

	"Go ahead. Touch it." I reached over with my left hand 
and wrapped my fingers around the snake sticking out of his pants. 
It pulsed with erotic power and hardened even more to a stiff 7
inches within just a few seconds of my hand touching it. I still 
hadn't let go of my own dick with my right hand, and it was now 
stiff too - all 3-1/2 inches of it. Just then the door opened, around a 
corner from the urinals, and we both turned instantly back to 
"peeing position". In 10 more seconds Nick zipped up and walked 
out of the restroom. 

	That night, as I lay in bed, I put my hands inside my 
pajama pants, cupping my balls and caressing my  penis, as I did 
every night. Visions of Nick's impressive cock floated through 
my brain. I fantasized about feeling it again, and my own penis 
got hard a lot faster than usual. I didn't yet know what I could 
do with my erection, but it felt good just to hold it in my hand 
and run my fingers along it.

	The next day, as kids spread out across the athletic fields, 
milling around during the free time after lunch, I heard my name 
being called. It was Nick and three of his friends in a far corner of 
the field next to a fence. I wondered what the 7th graders would 
want with a shy 6th grader like me, but I was flattered that they 
even knew my name. When I got over there, Nick said "Hey 
Billy; remember me?"

	"Sure. How ya doin'?" and I gave them a shy smile.

	"I was just telling the guys about yesterday. I told them 
you liked what you saw so much you would probably want to give 
me a blow job."

	I had no idea what a blow job was, but I didn't much care 
the sound of this. I said "Uh, I don't know."

	"Come on. Wouldn't you like to have my boner in your 
mouth?" His friends all laughed. I was still in a mental fog because 
I didn't know the word "boner"; to me it was a penis, a wiener, 
or a stiffy. I just kept quiet.

	"How `bout you get down on your knees and blow me?" 
and he pushed down on my shoulders with his strong hands. As 
I was forced to my knees, my heart was racing, but I still said 
nothing. Nick took his hands off my shoulders and opened his 
baggy pants, bringing his long soft cock out of the front of his 
boxers. I started to get up, but the other three boys were crowding 
around me and held me down with their hands on my shoulders 
and neck. Their bodies also shielded the activity from view.

	"Come on, faggot. Suck my cock. You know you want to." 
My blushing face was only inches from the boy's dangling penis, 
and I stared at it. The boy with his hand on my neck squeezed it and 
pushed my head so that my mouth was now millimeters away from 
the cock. Between the pain of the neck-hold and my humiliation, I 
started to quietly cry. If I'd had any sense, I realized later, I would 
have said "fuck you, asshole; you're the faggot" and that would 
have ended it. But it seemed like I was hypnotized by the sight of 
his oversized cock. The realization flashed through my brain that 
maybe I actually DID want to take his cock into my mouth. But 
not here; not like this. Finally struggling against the hands holding 
me, I managed to get to my feet, still surrounded by four bigger 
boys. As Nick stuffed his cock back in his pants and zipped up, he 
said "Hey, look guys; the faggot really did want to suck me!  
Check out his boner!" and he goosed the tented crotch of my 
khakis. Sure enough, my 3-1/2 inch erection was pointing straight 
out, betraying my arousal. The other boys also roughly grabbed 
at the front of my pants before letting me run away, their laughter 
ringing in my ears.

	I thought that would be the end of it, but I was sadly 
mistaken. Word traveled rapidly through the school that I was 
gay and had wanted to suck Nick's cock. My denials weren't 
convincing, even to myself. For several weeks, I was taunted on 
almost a daily basis with "fag", "queer", "cocksucker". Boys in 
the restroom would wiggle their cocks at me, saying essentially 
the same thing that Nick had: "Suck it, faggot. You know you 
want to."  Girls would whisper to each other and giggle as they 
walked by me in the hall. Even after most kids grew tired of the 
game, a few - especially Nick and his buddies - kept up the harassment. 

	My parents knew I was miserable at school. They knew 
I was being picked on, but I never told them the details. The 
thought of being teased made me hate to get up in the morning 
on school days. Sometimes I would feign illness and stay home 
in bed all day while my parents went to work. My bed was a 
refuge from an unfriendly world, and I could always reach down 
and play with my penis to instantly improve my outlook on life. 
But  the taunts sometimes invaded my brain even at these times 
of self-pleasuring. For some reason, the words of my tormenters 
and the visualization of their exposed dicks seemed to enhance 
the sexual pleasure my hands were producing. Sometimes I 
resisted  this strange betrayal by my brain and body. But I'll never 
forget the first time I just let it flow, this combination of
humiliation and pleasure. My pajama pants were around my knees and the 
covers were pushed back. Lying there in bed, I rubbed my stiffy 
as the words pounded through my brain... "come on faggot".... 
Erotic feelings built up within me as I envisioned myself on my 
knees in the middle of the boys' restroom with Nick and his 7th 
grade buddies surrounding me... "suck my cock".... They all had 
their pants open and were stroking their hard cocks... "you know 
you want to".... As my right hand rubbed up and down, my 
fantasy-self took a boy's erection into my mouth. I stuck my left 
thumb in my mouth to see what it felt like and ran my tongue all 
around it as I sealed my lips and sucked. In my fantasy, I switched 
to another boy, and then another. One after the other, I took their 
boners into my mouth. I didn't know yet about ejaculation, so that 
wasn't part of my fantasy. Just licking and sucking as the older 
boys verbally abused me. My fingers were flying up and down 
on my 3-1/2 inch stiffy, and suddenly my body went rigid, wracked 
by the incredible sensation of a dry orgasm. Afterward, I lay there 
totally drained but blissfully satisfied. 

	From then on, I lived for my nightly masturbation. I 
worked on my technique, trying different hand motions, and 
running different erotic scenarios through my brain. I even 
tried sucking on things that I could fantasize were boy-cocks. 
(My favorite was a raw hot dog. After my orgasm, I ate the 
evidence  ;-)   Although my masturbation fantasies often 
involved eroticized thoughts of humiliation at the hands of 
older boys, I continued to dread the real-life harassment.

	When my parents told me we would be moving to a new 
neighborhood that summer, far from our old one, I was overjoyed. 
I'd get *another* fresh start in a new school. I wouldn't be "Billy 
the faggot" anymore. I would even change my nickname; I could 
just be "Bill the new kid".

	That summer, I kept to myself pretty much (as usual), 
helping my parents get ready to sell the old house and then 
helping with the move to the new place. It was a really nice 
neighborhood. We had a big ranch house on more than one acre. 
Some of the houses had even bigger yards, and the one's across 
the street had woods out the back. I met a few of the kids in the 
neighborhood, but my "loner" personality made it almost inevitable 
that I didn't make any real friends. One kid I hadn't yet met - the 
older boy who lived directly across the street - had a strange 
effect on me. You might say I had a "crush" on him. Kevin was 
almost 14 (but looked older) and was entering 9th grade in 
September. He was incredibly handsome and well-built, his 
tanned torso and arms showing the results of weight training. 
I would look through the window of my house, watching him 
shoot baskets at the net in his large driveway. He would always 
wear just shorts, and I marveled at his sexy hairless chest and 
hard abs. I even visualized him in my fantasies when I jacked 
off, but I fantasized him as being loving rather than mean - a 
hero to take me away from my loneliness. Oh, I forgot to 
mention that I had started to shoot cum that summer, and in 
the 5 months since that first dry orgasm, my boner had grown 
to 4-1/2 inches with a low-hanging ballsack. Not bad for 12 years old!

	When school started, I was sent to a private boys' school. 
My parents had the money, and they figured I was less likely to 
get picked on by bullies. I kept my usual low profile and things 
were more-or-less ok. Kevin attended the local public high school, 
and I continued to watch him from a distance. It was obvious that 
he was very popular. He often had other kids, boys and girls, over 
to his house after school and on the weekends. One girl in particular 
rode her bike over a lot, and I saw them making out right in front 
of the house a few times. One afternoon in late September, I was 
riding my bike around in circles in front of my house, watching 
Kevin shoot hoops.

	"Hey!" he called out. "You're Billy, right?"

	"Yeah. Bill, actually." (My parents still called me Billy; 
he must have picked it up that way.)

	"Wanna shoot some baskets?"

	"Yeah!"

	We played basketball for a while and then he said "wanna 
check out my treehouse?" Of course I did, and we ventured into 
the woods in back of his house. There, up 15 feet, was an 
impressive treehouse with a roof, windows, and a rope ladder. 
When we climbed up, I found that it had a carpeted floor and 
cushions to lean back against. Kevin pulled up the ladder, giving 
us complete privacy.

	"Ever seen a porn magazine?" he asked

	"Uhh, no... how `bout you?"

	He pointed over to a metal ammo box; the kind you get 
at a surplus story. It was literally bolted to the floor! Turning 
the combination lock that held it closed, he opened it and 
produced a small stack of magazines: Penthouse, Hustler, and 
a couple of actual hard-core hetero magazines.

	"Help yourself."

	WOW! I had never seen anything like this. Especially the 
hard core stuff. Guys getting sucked or jacked off; guys sticking 
their hard cocks into naked women! We spent several minutes 
looking at them before he spoke again.

	"My dick always gets real hard when I look at this stuff" 
he said. "How `bout yours?"

	He'd have to be blind not to see I was hard as a rock, 
and I just looked over at him and grinned, seeing how the front 
of his pants also stuck out.

	"You ever jack off?"

	Oh God! Was this some sort of trap? Should I admit 
my secret vice? I nodded my head slightly.

	"You don't have to be shy about it. I do it every day 
myself. Wanna do now... together?"

	Did I ever! "Yeah! That would be cool!"

	He pulled off his pants and his underwear. I was just a 
half-step behind him, still not 100% sure if he would say he was 
just testing to see if I was a faggot. But there he was, sitting 
across from me with a 6-inch boner that had a patch of 
pubic hair above it. It was... beautiful, just like the rest 
of his body. He immediately started stroking as he resumed 
looking at his magazine. I was stroking my 4-1/2 incher, but 
I couldn't decide what to pay attention to: the magazine 
or Kevin. I ended up mostly with Kevin. After a few minutes 
me was looking at me jack just as closely as I was looking at 
him, smiling as he looked over at my hairless cock. As he got 
closer to orgasm, he got vocal.

	"Oh yeah. Here it cums. Yeah. Oh shit!" 

	I speeded up so we could cum at the same time, and 
when he shot his load of spunk onto his chest and belly I was 
right behind him, shooting my smaller load. After catching our 
breath and cleaning up, we got our pants back on and talked for 
a while. He told me about himself and what it was like in high 
school. He also told me all about his hot girlfriend named Stacy. 
We climbed down, and as we walked out of the woods he said 
"That was cool Billy. Let's do it again sometime. I'll let you 
know." I didn't correct him about my name. If he wanted to call 
me Billy, that was fine with me.

	A few days later, Kevin called and asked if I wanted to 
play.  He said to meet him at the treehouse. When I got to the 
top of the rope ladder, he was already taking off his pants.

	"I'm really horny. Wanna feel each other up?" he asked, 
getting right to the point.

	"Sure!" When I removed my pants and undershorts, he 
briefly stroked my boner and toyed with the nuts in my loose 
ballsack.

	"Now you feel me." And he lay on his back with his head 
propped against a cushion as I reached out to feel his near-adult-
sized erection. "Ah, that's good.  How `bout if you keep going 
and jack me off all the way? Yeah; that's good. Hold on. Let me 
get some lube.... Yeah! Ooooh, yeah! That's REAL good!" And 
as I jacked his slippery cock and played with his balls, he closed 
his eyes and smiled blissfully. Every so often, he would tell me 
to speed up or slow down; to stroke harder or softer. It was 
tremendously exciting to give him this pleasure, and my own 
cock stood up hard as I worked. When he finally orgasmed, spurt 
after spurt of hot cum shot up onto him. As I mopped up the 
spunk with kleenexes, Kevin praised my skills. Then he said 
"Now jack yourself. I want to watch you get off." I was a little 
disappointed that he wasn't going to jack me himself, but it 
quickly passed. I put on a show for Kevin and tried to make it 
look as sexy as I could. When my orgasm came, I glowed with 
pure pleasure. We parted after only about 20 minutes, but I 
was walking on cloud.

	I waited for several days before Kevin called again. I 
came close to calling him or going over, but thought Kevin 
might not want me to. I saw him hanging out with boys his 
own age and probably older, and also with Stacy, and I felt 
jealous. When he finally called, I practically ran over to his house. 

	This time we went to his room, since his parents were out. 
He sat on his bed and said "Thanks for coming over, Billy. I've 
been spending a lot of time with Stacy and it was really getting 
me horny. She such a cock-teaser you wouldn't believe it. 
Yesterday I had her up in the treehouse and we were making out 
like crazy. I was feeling her up through her shirt, and then I got 
her shirt and bra totally off and was playing with her bare tits! 
God; it was awesome! I could tell she was really turned on, so 
I put her hand on my crotch so she could feel my boner through 
my pants. I'm sure she liked it, but when I asked her to take out 
my cock and jack me off, she got all mad and went home! Shit! 
I was so close.... But I know you won't let me down, will you Billy?"

	"No, Kevin. You can count on me." Not that I had any 
idea what he was asking me or I was agreeing to.

	"Stacy's tits are so incredible. One of the girls in my porn 
magazine has tits just like hers. Wanna see it?" And he reached 
into the beside table and drew out a hard core magazine that 
showed pictures of a young woman with firm small tits, 
kneeing in front of a man with a large cock, sucking him as she 
looked up into his eyes with a sultry expression on her face.

	"Would you do that for me, Billy? Would you suck me?"

	My heart started beating rapidly, thumping in my chest. 
I'd fantasized about sucking him for weeks. You bet I would!

	("Come on faggot....")

	"Sure, Kevin. I'll do it." I had a little trouble getting the 
words out; my throat was tight with swirling emotions.  I knew, 
though, that I wanted to finally live out this fantasy.

	"I knew I could count on you, Billy; you're great!" And 
he quickly shucked off his pants and boxers, sitting back down 
on his bed. "Get on your knees, just like in the pictures."

	My mind was reeling as I knelt down and inched my mouth 
closer to Kevin's well-proportioned circumcised erection.  ("Come 
on faggot. You know you want it.") I took the top of Kevin's 
boner into my mouth and ran my tongue all around his cockhead. 
It was WAY more exciting than doing this to a hot dog, and after 
all that fantasizing about how I would give sexual pleasure to a 
boy once I finally had a real cock in my mouth, I was actually 
pretty damn good. As my wet lips moved up and down Kevin's 
straining boner, he moaned with pleasure, holding the porn magazine 
in one hand and running the other through my hair. I looked up at 
him, just like the girl in the pictures, and was incredibly turned on 
by the look of bliss on his face. The longer I went, the more excited 
he got.

	"Oh yeah! Yeah, baby. Suck it! Oooow, yeah, baby, like 
that! Oh, God!" I could feel his body tensing and his balls drawing 
up in a tight sack. I increased my oral pleasuring, sucking hard on 
his cock as my tongue danced all around his cockhead, then 
alternating with a fast up and down stroking of my lips.

	"Yeah! Yeah! I'm gonna cum! Yeah, baby, keep going! 
Uhh! Uhh! Uhhhh!! Oh SHIT!" As I sucked, shots of cum pulsed 
from his cock, hitting the back of my throat. I gagged a bit at first, 
but then blocked the shooting cum with my tongue and let it collect 
in my mouth. I swallowed, savoring the taste (which was much like 
my own). Kevin finally pulled my head away and said "That was 
GREAT, Billy! You're terrific!...."

	"Ya know.... I'd like to stay with you for a while, but I 
gotta meet Stacy at Burger King in about 20 minutes, so... can 
we get together later? Maybe tomorrow?"

	"Sure, Kevin."

	I went home and straight to my room, pulling off my pants 
in a frantic rush to start jacking off. Any fleeting thoughts I might 
have had about how Kevin was "using" me melted in the shattering 
ecstacy of my powerful orgasm.  For the next couple weeks, I was 
sucking Kevin almost every day - sometimes twice. We'd meet 
after school, or in the evening, or even late at night with him 
knocking softly on my bedroom window. Several times I climbed 
out my window in the dead of night to "service" my handsome 
neighbor, hidden by the shrubbery at the back of our property. 
Never once did Kevin suck me. Sometimes he wanted to watch 
me jack myself off before I gave him a blow job, but other times
he just left me hot and horny. He was gentle with me, but 
demanding, telling me to take his cock all the way into my 
throat. It was difficult at first, but after a while, I was a pro 
at deep-throating him, swallowing his twitching boner down 
until his curly pubic hair tickled my nose. 

	Then, one afternoon in mid-October, Kevin and I were in 
the treehouse and he was looking at his porn magazines (as 
he often did before I sucked him), and he said "Billy, if I 
asked you to do something, you'd trust me and you'd do 
it. Right?"

	"Well... yeah."

	"You know how I've been telling you how much I want 
to fuck Stacy, right? Well... could I put my cock in your ass and 
make love to you?"

	Oh, God. `Make love.' He didn't need to ask twice. 
"I'll do anything you ask me to, Kevin." I was so in love with 
him (or at least as much as a thoroughly confused 12-year-old 
boy can be) that I'd have jumped out of the treehouse if he'd 
asked me to. Again, the porn magazines were his guide. He 
showed me a new acquisition that had a guy fucking a woman 
in the ass (and pussy, and mouth, and between her basketball-sized 
tits). I got on my hands and knees, naked, with my head and 
chest on a cushion. Kevin lubed his boner and stuck a lubed 
finger into my tight ass. I immediately clamped down on my 
anal muscle.

	"Billy, you gotta relax a little. Don't you ever put your 
finger in there when you jack?"

	"Huh uh."

	"Well, I read this thing that said if the person getting 
fucked in the ass pushes out like they're taking a dump, it feels 
real good when the cock slides in." As he probed my ass with 
his finger, I experimented with trying to hold the muscle open. 
It felt strange but good to have Kevin finger-fucking my bottom 
hole. I should be thankful that Kevin's cock was not particularly 
thick, but when he knelt behind me and started to push his rigid 
cock into me... Yow! A burning pain shot through my ass, and I 
stifled a scream. Kevin had the decency to take it slow, but there 
was no way he was going to stop - not that I would have asked 
him to. My tee shirt was close at hand, and I stuffed it in my mouth 
and clamped my teeth down on it. Kevin was soon fucking me 
with long stokes, all the while telling me how good it felt, how 
tight I was, how great I was doing. After a few in-and-outs, the 
initial pain had waned, replaced by a throbbing fullness. His 
hands were all over me, feeling my ass, my back, my shoulders, 
wrapping around my chest, fondling my soft cock. Soon I was 
hard and he was jacking me, I felt ... well not exactly  pleasure, 
but maybe a 3 on a scale of 10 (way up from a zero). Kevin was 
so primed, and I was so tight, that he only lasted about 2 minutes 
before cumming in streams inside my rectum. He pulled us over 
on our sides, his throbbing cock still buried in my ass, and quickly 
jacked my cock to orgasm with his lubed hand. That was a first! 
He'd never jacked me off before (no one else had either, except 
me), and I was as grateful as a puppy. And my puppy-love 
continued to warm my heart, even as Kevin rushed me along home 
only a few minutes after we finished.


Shy Boy Part 02 (b/t, b/b Mast, Oral, Anal)

by Bill

	Kevin was now as anxious to fuck me every day as he 
had previously been to get blow jobs. Actually, he often had he 
suck him for a while before he took me up the ass. I was getting 
rug burns on my knees from getting so much action on the floor 
of his treehouse. Fortunately, the pain I had experienced that first 
time was now gone, and I started to savor the unique feelings of 
being fucked. I got the biggest thrill, however, out of knowing 
that I was pleasing Kevin. He told me that he really liked it when 
I "talked dirty" and suggested things he'd like to hear. As I reflect 
on it now, I probably sounded as insincere as a whore or a porn 
actor, but at the time I almost meant it when I told him "Oh, Kevin, 
fuck me hard! I love your big cock fucking my pussy! Give it to 
me!" (He had this thing about calling my ass a "pussy", and he 
always called me "baby" when he was in the throes of orgasm.) 
One time, he had me lie on my back when we fucked, my legs 
pulled back to my chest. I really enjoyed watching him, his muscles 
flexing, the look of sexual pleasure on his face, the  sight of his 
long cock slipping into my body. But Kevin preferred me to be 
on my knees. (I reflected later that he could more easily pretend 
he was fucking Stacy.)

	I occasionally reflected on the one-way nature of our 
relationship. But I rationalized that he was older, far cooler, 
much better looking... and I was an insignificant dweeb who 
was getting much more out of this relationship than I deserved.

	Then came his invitation to come to his sleep-over to 
celebrate his 14th birthday. He told me that a few of his buddies 
would be there and he wanted me to finally meet them. "I'd 
really like you to be there" he said. "We may even do some 
sex games. It'll be really fun."

	My parents thought I was too young for a bunch of 9th 
graders, but I pleaded with them. "I've NEVER been to a 
sleep-over in my life! Kevin's my only friend in the world. Please? 
PLEASE?" They relented, and on Friday night, I lugged a sleeping 
bag and a duffle with pajamas, clean clothes, and a toothbrush 
across the street. When Kevin met me at the door, he said that his 
parents were gone for the weekend and we'd have a REALLY 
great time. We went down to his basement rec room, and there 
were four of his high school friends, all jocks like Kevin, sitting 
around looking at his porn magazines and sipping on cans of 
beer as rock music blared. As I came into the room, I heard 
comments like "nice", "this'll be good", and "yeah, I'm gettin' 
hard just thinkin' about it". Kevin introduced me to all the guys, 
and one of them said "Kev, I gotta admit you have good taste. 
Let's get started. How `bout if Little Billy strips down and 
shows us what he's got?"

	I must have looked as uncomfortable as I felt, because 
Kevin whispered to me "I'll be fine, Billy. Just do what I ask 
you to, and we'll have a lot of fun, ok? Since you're the youngest, 
you need to be the first one to get naked. It's the way we always 
do it when we do sex stuff."

	One of the guys put a new CD on the stereo, and it started 
blaring old disco music. "Do a strip tease dance" he shouted. I 
looked over at Kevin, and he gave me non-verbal encouragement 
to go ahead. To the tune of Donna Summer asking for "some hot 
stuff, baby, tonight" I started dancing (about as well as any other 
12-year-old white kid could) and slowly removing my clothes. 
The guys were cheering me on, and I was actually starting to 
enjoy it. I was thinking how cool it would be when it was their 
turn, and I got to watch the older guys do a strip-tease. By the 
time I was down to just my white jockey shorts, I was feeling 
the eroticism in the air as the 14 and 15-year-olds, seated around 
the room, shouted their encouragement. Rod Stewart warbled 
"Doooo you want my body...", and I was teasing them by pulling 
down the elastic waistband to show some ass, then the front to 
show part of my cock, then some more ass. The boys were really 
whistling and applauding when I was finally nude and prancing 
around to the strains of "That's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I like it...".

	My head was spinning with adrenalin, excitement, some 
residual embarrassment, and a lot of arousal as my 4-1/2 inch boner 
bounced against my belly and my ballsack flopped around beneath. 
As I danced in front of Kevin, he told me to put my hands behind 
my head and grind my hips around. That got such a good reaction 
that I went from one boy to the next, thrusting my pelvis at them 
as they reached out to touch me, sometimes standing up briefly to 
dance with me and rub their crotches against my boner. Then one 
of Kevin's friends grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto his lap 
and started running his hands over my naked body, concentrating 
on my straining cock. "You're HOT, kid. We're gonna have a 
party to remember." Then another boy pulled me away and onto 
his lap. A third friend said "I'm ready to get serious; let's get 
down to it. Kevin... you go first. We need to see if what you told 
us is true."

	Kevin said "I hear ya guys. Billy, get down on the floor 
so I can fuck you." His words startled me. We were going to 
fuck in front of these other guys? Doing the nude dancing was 
fun, but making love was so... private. "Come on, Billy; you 
know you want to." The blaring music suddenly sounded more 
distant as I looked at Kevin removing his pants, then looked 
over at the leering faces of his friends. I swallowed hard. Yes; 
I would do this for Kevin to prove my love. I positioned myself 
as Kevin lubed his cock. As he eased into me, I heard the 
teenagers saying "Awesome!" "He's really doing it! "Yeah, 
inFUCKINGcredible!" "I get dibs on next." "How `bout we 
do each end?"

	"Talk to me, Billy. Tell me the stuff you always say."

	It was difficult to get the words out; my throat was tight; 
but I did it. "Fuck me, Kevin. Shove it in hard. I love the way 
you fuck my pussy." 

	Just then, one of the teenagers knelt down in front of me. 
His pants and boxers were around his knees, and his cock was a 
stiff 6-inch prong. "Suck me off, boy. Kevin told us how good 
you are with your mouth." I looked back over my shoulder at 
Kevin, who was getting into the rhythm of his fuck-stroke.

	"Do both of us together" he said breathlessly. "I don't 
mind." When my pained expression didn't seem to register with 
Kevin, I resigned myself to doing what he wanted. I straightened 
my arms to raise my upper body off the floor and brought my 
mouth down on his friend's erection, taking him as deep as I 
could. As Kevin plowed my ass with quickening strokes, the 
other boy held my head in his hands and controlled the depth 
and speed of the blow job. I felt like I was in a dream.... No, I 
felt like I was in one of my masturbation fantasies with the 7th 
grade bullies from middle school. The words being shouted all 
around me even had a similar ring: "Look at that little faggot. 
He's sucking cock and getting fucked at the same time." "Come 
on faggot; suck faster; make him cum." 

	Kevin was in his final thrusts before cumming, and I 
was sucking as fast and as good as I knew how so that it would 
be over. But when I felt the throbbing of Kevin's cock spurting 
cum into my rectum, and felt him pulling out, he was replaced 
immediately by the unfamiliar feeling of one of the other boys' 
cocks. Again my eyes searched for Kevin's. Did he want me to 
do this? Did I want to do this? He was sitting in a chair beside 
me, gulping a beer. He had a big satisfied smile on his face and 
he looked over at me as a teenager whose name I had forgotten 
sunk 6 inches of hot meat into my stretched asshole. Kevin's 
only words were "You're going great, Billy. You're fantastic." 

	OK; I'd do it. I was doing it for Kevin. I worked feverishly 
to bring the cock in my mouth to a quick orgasm. And in another 
minute, I was tasting the hot spunk of a virtual stranger. I swallowed 
the big load of cum, all the while being fucked with the rushed 
piston-strokes of a nearly anonymous 14 or 15-year-old. I knew 
there were only two boys left to service and, not surprisingly, a hard 
cock was in my face almost as soon as the other pulled away. As I 
worked with my mouth, I was almost oblivious to the fact that the 
boy fucking me was pounding his way to a quick cum. I felt him pull 
out, only to feel the last boy push in, his cock longer and thicker than 
Kevin's or the last boy's. I again concentrated on sucking. I gave the 
boy kneeling in front of me the full treatment, deep-throating him as 
he fucked my face, and I soon had him moaning with lust. Just about 
the time I felt the cock in my ass go into overdrive and shoot its load, 
I sucked six blasts of cum into my mouth. FINISHED! As distasteful 
as it had been to be the object of a gang bang, at least it was done. 
I'd tell Kevin later that I'd never do this for his friends again. It
was HIM that I loved (though I'd never spoken the "L word" to him). 
Exhausted, I sat back on my feet, cum dripping down my chin and 
out of my bottom hole.

	But as I slowly tuned in on the conversation around me, I 
was shocked. "Lets look at the porn mags some more, and when 
we get hard again we can get back to the slut." "Yeah; I bet I'm 
good for at least five cums by morning."

	Jesus! Were they serious? Just then the doorbell rang, 
and when Kevin returned to the rec room there were four more 
boys with him, carrying 6-packs of beer. "Sorry we're late, guys. 
Shit; you started on the pussy-boy without us."

	This was too much for even a total wimp like me to take. 
I had to get out. I grabbed my clothes and ran to the bathroom 
to get dressed, leaving my sleeping bag and duffle behind. Kevin 
ran after me, saying "Billy! Don't embarrass me in front of my 
friends like this. I told them you loved to have sex. You do, 
don't you?"

	"I can't, Kevin!" I said close to tears. "I gotta go home. 
I can't do it anymore!" When I had dressed, I found my way to 
the front door. As I stood out on Kevin's front yard in the crisp 
October air, his door opened and he tossed out the rest of my things.

	"It's over between you and me. I don't need a little faggot 
like you messing up my life."

	I retreated to farthest edge of my back yard and unrolled 
my sleeping bag. I stayed there all night, awash in humiliation, 
pain, and heart-ache. In the morning, I felt better. I entered my 
house as if I'd spent the night at Kevin's. My mom asked how it 
went, and I said "you were right. They're kind of old for me."

	But for some masochistic reason, I was still in love with 
Kevin. As much as he had used me, he was the closest thing I 
had to a friend, and his sexual exploitation was the closest I'd 
come to love. The next time I saw him, I started to apologize, 
to say I loved him but I couldn't do his friends like that. He cut 
me off. "Get lost, faggot. I never want to see you again. You're 
pathetic."

	Despite my bitter heartbreak, I was determined to push 
on with my life, depressing though it was. I busied myself with 
school work.  G***** Prep School for Boys was a lot more 
academically demanding than public school. I was in the first year 
of Upper School (they call 7th grade "First Form" - copying some 
British thing, I think.). Most kids in the class were coming from 
the Lower School, but a fair number were new like me. A top 
student at public school, I was only average here. The school 
also *really* pushes participation in sports, so I decided to go 
out for the 7th and 8th grade wrestling team. My brother, who is 
four years older than me (and not at all "close") had done some 
wrestling, and I had learned some moves from him. On the first 
day of practice, we were told to choose a partner about the same 
size as us. A guy named Eric, who was in a number of my classes, 
asked if I would be his partner, and I quickly agreed. Trying out 
the moves we were being taught, it quickly became apparent that 
Eric and I were among the best 7th graders in the group. We were 
even asked by the coach to demonstrate some moves for the whole 
team. 

	About wrestling: yeah, it's got a sexual element. You're 
rolling on the floor with your arms around another guy, your 
bodies entwined. But it's so much more than that. It's the 
adrenaline-rush of competition, reflexes against reflexes; 
responding to the opponent's moves with your intuition and 
countering with moves of your own. In an actual match, any 
thought of sex is completely subsumed by combat. But in 
practices, you are often holding another boy's body without the 
need for total concentration and exertion. Your crotch is often 
pushing against the guy's ass, and your hand can legitimately be 
on his inner thigh or even right on his crotch. Yes; it's erotic. 
And I liked the feeling of Eric's body. I liked Eric as a person, 
too. Could I finally be making a friend? A REAL friend?

	After practice, we were all supposed to take a shower. 
Eric said he'd take a pass and got dressed, as did a couple of 
other 7th graders. When you just took regular PE, you didn't 
shower; only when you went out for a team (ditto wearing a 
jockstrap  ;-). These guys, like me, had never been in a communal 
shower before. They were scared. As for me, I may have been 
shy, but for this I was psyched. As I went with just a towel to 
the large shower room, I was hyper-aware of the naked bodies 
around me.  I stood under the hot water, and my eyes darted 
around the parade of boy-cocks. There were guys with 
prepubescent dicks and balls; boys just on the cusp of puberty; 
guys pretty well along, but hairless (like me) or with just a few 
wisps; and the developed ones with larger dicks and healthy 
crops of pubic hair.

	I tried to be as un-obvious as I could in my looking, but 
I noticed that other boys were looking too. Then my mind started 
formulating a scenario: I was on my knees in the shower room; 
boys were crowding around me, their cocks rising to erection; 
I was sucking them off. Then... STOP!! I told my brain to forget 
about it. I was through with being a pussy-boy, so I might as 
well stop these God damn fantasies. I quickly finished up and 
got my towel and went to my locker to get dressed. There were 
still a couple classes left in the school day, and I had a chance to 
talk to Eric again. I found out he lived only 2 miles away from 
my house. Cool.

	All that week, we were partners in wrestling practice. 
And we talked during lunch and between classes too. He even 
called me on the phone one night to talk, ostensibly about 
assignments. And the next night, I called him! (A first for me.) 
When Friday came, he asked if I could come over to his house 
on Saturday, and I instantly agreed. I rode my bike over, and 
we played video games, played outside, rode our bikes, and 
generally had a great time. This is what I'd been missing my 
entire life.

	I called him Sunday after I got home from church and 
asked if he could come to my house. He said yes! We spent the 
day much like the previous one, riding bikes, exploring the 
woods, playing catch with a football, talking about school, 
about wrestling. I showed him my room, and briefly thought 
about whether the subject of sex would (or should) come up. 
If he asked me, I would jump at the chance. (Shy boys are like 
that.) But he made no mention of anything sexual, and I didn't 
want to lose him by showing that I was a fag.

	That night in bed, as my pajama pants came down to my 
knees and my hands started to seduce my cock, my brain went 
through an inventory of my off-the-shelf sexual fantasies, most 
of which involved my submission to a dominant boy... or several 
boys. No; time for a new one: Eric and I, walking in the woods, 
holding hands. We stop in a grassy meadow and face each 
other, and he... he kisses me. Oh God, YES! Our lips press 
together tenderly as we hold each other. Back in the real world, 
my hand starts its familiar routine of stroking; the physical 
sensations feeding the fantasy and vice versa. Now we're on the 
ground in each other's arms rolling around, almost wrestling. 
I hadn't discovered french kissing yet, so our lips remained 
closed, but they pressed together with incredible passion. This 
being a fantasy, it took only an instant for us both to be naked, 
and the lust-factor was turned up considerably as my masturbation 
went into high gear. I'd never seen Eric's cock; he was still 
ducking the showers, so I imagined him looking just like me. 
As we kissed, his hand came down to fondle me and I reached 
down to stroke him. He was warm and hard; incredibly sensual.

	I was at a crossroads. Which way should I go? The 
decision was instant; Eric kissed his way down my body and 
brought his mouth down on my boner. Yes! Yes! His lips slid 
up and down my cock shaft; his tongue drew pleasure from every 
nerve ending. He squeezed my balls gently. My hands caressed 
his hair, his shoulders, his back. My hips started bucking. That 
familiar feeling was rising up in my loins. "Slow down. Make it 
last longer" said my brain. "No fuckin' way" said my body. My 
right hand obeyed my body, and I sent myself into that other 
dimension known as orgasm; that 20 seconds of religious ecstacy 
that you wish would last forever. As cum shot up onto my chest, 
in my fantasy Eric was swallowing every drop. As I lay in bed 
with my eyes closed and my hand wrapped around my spent cock, 
Eric kissed his way back up my body and we held each other 
again, kissing gently. As I drifted to sleep that night, I whispered 
into my pillow "I love you, Eric. I love you."

	That Monday, as wrestling practice finished up, the coach 
said "I've gotten a complaint from one of your teachers that 
some of you are coming to her 6th period class smelling like you 
do now." (Some giggling from the boys.) "Last week I let the 
shower requirement slide, because... well just because. But now 
I'm afraid I have to enforce the rule. No exceptions." I noticed a 
look of concern on Eric's face, but said nothing. What could he 
be so shy about? A tiny dick? Other guys on the team were 
immature. Too big? There were a couple 8th graders whose 
dicks were so big that they must be 7 inches when they got hard.

	In the locker room as we stripped off our wrestling gear, 
Eric still looked worried. I said to him "let's get in there quick 
and get it over with." Last week, he had always hidden his crotch 
beneath a tee shirt as he changed. I guess I was more than a little 
curious as he peeled down his jockstrap without a shirt on. And 
then I saw it. He was uncut. The skin came to a point at the front 
of his normal size cock. But other than his foreskin, it DID look 
a lot like mine; except he had some wisps of hair. But he was the 
only guy on the team with an uncut dick. I hear that a lot of babies 
these day aren't getting circumcised, but 16 years ago it must have 
been the normal thing to do, at least around here.

	In the shower, it was obvious that the other guys were 
looking at Eric. Some even whispered to each other. Eric blushed 
crimson with embarrassment and turned to face the wall as he 
washed, and I made a point not to stare as I showered beside 
him. The kid on his other side, a smart-ass named Tody, suddenly 
chirped up "Look who's got a boner!" He grabbed Eric from 
behind by the upper arms and spun him around. All eyes, including 
mine, looked at his crotch. My first thought was... it's beautiful! 
Five inches long, slightly thicker than mine, with the foreskin 
pulled half-way back on the cockhead like a turtleneck. My next 
thought was anger at Toby. And then Toby started chanting, in 
that childish sing-song taunting tone "Er-ric's a fag-got. Er-ric's 
a fag-got." My rage boiled over. Though Toby was bigger than 
me, I pulled him away from Eric with all my strength and he 
landed on the floor.

	I stood over him, my fists clenched. "You're a real 
asshole, Toby. You're paying so much attention to other guy's 
dicks, maybe you're the faggot." The boy was speechless, and 
his mouth hung open. Then other guys spoke up. "Yeah Toby, 
stop acting like such a jerk." "Act your fuckin' age."

	Toby rose to his feet and said in a sheepish voice "Sorry, 
Eric. That was a dumb thing for me to say." Eric, by this time 
sporting a softie (thank God), quickly finished and we both 
headed to the lockers to get dressed. As we walked from the gym, 
his face was still flushed with emotion, he turned to me and said 
"Thanks, Bill. I really appreciate what you did in there."

	"Sure, Eric. I know what it's like to be teased, and Toby 
really pissed me off."

	"Bill.... Does your... do you ever get... a boner like that?"

	"Yeah, sure. Sometimes I'm sitting there in class and get 
one for no reason at all. And sometimes it's because I'm thinking 
about stuff." And I smiled at him broadly.

	"That makes me feel a lot better.... You know, Bill, I'm 
really glad you're my friend."

	My smile faded as I felt an instant wave of deep emotion 
roll over me. "I'm glad you're my friend too, Eric."

	We spent a lot of our free time together after that and 
talked about all sorts of things (though not about sex). We 
shared an interest in sci fi books and movies, and he loaned me 
some of his favorite books. Stuff like "Dune" and "Ender's 
Game". Eric was smart. REALLY smart. He showed me the 
notebook of engineering drawings he'd made on graph paper - 
designs of star ships and outer space habitats. When we talked 
about things, even about school work like the Shakespeare play 
we were reading, I was amazed at his insights. It was almost like 
my brain felt bigger after we were through talking.

	When his 13th birthday came in late November, he asked 
me if I'd like to come to his sleep-over. A sudden shot of deja vu 
zapped through me, but I hid it well and said "sure!". There were 
five of us there, all classmates, all good guys. We ate pizza, played 
video games, watched Star Trek and James Bond videos, and 
generally had a great time. I felt comfortable; the other guys actually 
laughed when I was trying to be funny, and it would have been 
hard to tell how shy I usually was. At midnight, Eric's parents called 
down to the basement rec room that it was time to go to sleep, and 
we unrolled our sleeping bags. I had brought pajamas, but it was 
clear that everyone else was going to sleep in their underwear, so I 
did the same. As we lay there in the dark, one of the guys said 
"Next year you should invite some girls to your sleep-over." This 
produced a round of giggles and kicked off a series of remarks 
about the mysteries of the opposite sex. I chimed in about how 
I'd like to feel a girl's tits, and another boy added "and her pussy
too."

	That same boy then said "Anyone else besides me got a 
boner?" Giggles all around. "I've got one too" said another boy. 
I was getting one just thinking about the boys around me. Then 
the first boy clicked on a flashlight he'd brought and shined it on 
his hairless 5-inch erection. "Anybody want to feel it?" First one 
boy, then another, then all of us reached over to run our fingers 
along his pubescent shaft. "Anyone else want to show?" he asked.

	I was surprised when Eric said "I will" and the flashlight 
beam was directed at his crotch. Pulling the skin back with his 
fingers halfway down the shaft, his cock looked just the same as 
if he were cut, and - like I said - it was beautiful. I was the first to 
feel him, but only did so briefly since that seemed to be the protocol. 
I volunteered to be next and thoroughly enjoyed the innocense of 
the boyish sex-play. Withing a few more minutes, all five of us had 
submitted to being "felt up" by the others and we were back in our 
sleeping bags. There was no sucking, no fucking, not even any 
jacking off. I felt a strange combination of disappointment and relief.

	The next weekend, Eric asked if I wanted to spend the 
night at his house. I naturally agreed. His room had two twin 
beds, and we lays under the covers of separate beds talking about 
all sorts of things. The room was illuminated by the rays of a full 
moon shining in the window, and I could see his face, five feet away.

	"Bill, remember last weekend when we all felt each 
other's cocks?"

	"Yeah."

	"I thought it was pretty exciting; didn't you?"

	"Yeah. I liked it a lot. You... you've got a nice boner." 
I could feel my face blush,

	"I was just thinking the same thing about yours!" he said. 
"Could we... do you want to... like... do that again?"

	"Yeah. I really would. Who should go first?"

	"Let's both get naked and get in the same bed. It's too 
cold if we're not under the covers." He pulled off his boxers and 
motioned me to get in his bed. I pulled off my briefs and slid in 
beside him, shivering from either the cool air or the excitement 
coursing through me. As we lay on our sides, a foot apart, he 
spoke first. "Did you mean what you said about thinking my boner 
looks nice? I mean... you don't think it looks weird?"

	"I was kind of surprised when I first saw it soft, because 
I'd never seen one like that before. But when I saw it hard, I 
thought it looked nicer than anyone's I've ever seen." And I 
reached over to rest my hand on his stiff erection, feeling him 
give a little flinch, but then hearing him whisper "your hand feels 
good." And he reached across to take my cock into his hand.

	"Want to make them touch?" he asked, almost shyly.

	"Yeah." And I brought my crotch close to his so our boners 
could rub together gently. My arm went over his back in kind of 
a loose hug. I hoped he wouldn't mind. Clearly, he didn't, as he 
started running his hand along my back, over my ass, down the 
back of my thigh. I felt his sweet breath on my face as his breathing 
quickened with his excitement. My cock was pressing against his, 
more urgently now. I was about to do something I might regret, 
but I did it anyway. "Eric... could I do something for you? I mean... 
could I suck you... your cock?" (God! That sounded lame. I wanted 
so much for this to be perfect.)

	"You would do that for me? Yes. Yes, of course I'd like 
you to suck it. But I don't know what I should do."

	"Just lay back and enjoy it." And I put my hand on his crotch 
and slowly descended under the covers until I was nuzzling his 
5-inch erection against my face. I inhaled his smell, a mixture of 
soap from his morning shower, boyish sweat, and masculine arousal. 
In the darkness, my tongue touched his shaft and I felt him flinch 
again. Did he want me to stop? His hands came under the covers 
and lightly caressed my hair, and I knew he wanted me to go on. 
Pushing his foreskin up to cover his cockhead, I nibbled at the 
sensitive flesh with my lips and probed inside it to his cockhead 
underneath. Then pulling the skin back, I let my wet lips slide 
slowly down, flicking with my tongue as I inched my way, 
agonizingly slowly, down his cockshaft. I didn't stop until my lips 
touched the wisps of hair at the base and his cock was lodged in 
my throat. Eric was moaning now, his body shivering and tensing, 
his hands moving over my head, my neck, my shoulders. I began 
a rhythm of long up and down strokes as I fondled his ballsack. 
Then I concentrated for a while on the head of his delicious penis, 
lavishing it with attention from my flicking tongue and sucking lips. 
I let the top of his cockhead graze against the bumps on the roof 
of my mouth as it headed for my throat, driving him wild with 
pleasure. I wanted his first blow job to be one to remember. As I 
went into a fast up and down suck, I felt his balls pull up tight in 
their sack. His voice, a loud hoarse whisper, signaled his 
approaching orgasm.

	"Oh Bill! Yes! Oh, man!  Oh, God! OH! OH! Oh, Bill; 
I'm going to shoot! Stop! I'm getting ready to shoot! Let me 
catch it with my hand!"

	I saw no reason to stop now and instead re-doubled my 
efforts, rewarded only seconds later by a blast of the sweetest 
boy-cum, follow rapidly by several more spurts from his pulsing 
erection. I swallowed quickly, but savored the last bit in my mouth, 
memorizing the taste before swallowing. As I  rose up to lay beside 
him, Eric was in a state of total bliss.

	"Oh, Bill. That was fantastic!" he said between breaths. 
I held myself close to his body and felt his heart thumping powerfully 
within his chest. After we lay together in silence for a few minutes, 
he said "That was amazing, Bill. I never knew that's what oral sex 
would feel like." Then he added, cautiously, "I... I guess you've 
done this with other guys?"

	*Wham!*  Right in the gut. Eric didn't mean to, but his 
words crippled me into stunned silence as thoughts raced through 
my brain. Should I lie? Tell him `No Eric. You're the first. 
You're the only one. I'm not really a faggot slut.'

	Eric could tell immediately that something was wrong. 
"Bill! I'm sorry! That was such a stupid thing for me to ask. 
It's none of my damn business. Please don't be mad at me!"

	I sat up in bed, wanting to run away. Tears rose up in 
my eyes. And then the words started tumbling out. I told him 
everything. About Kevin. About the gang bang at Kevin's house. 
And through it all, the tears kept coming. I scarcely paused for 
breath as I poured out my story of perverted submissiveness; 
of willingly accepting the roll of a slut. As the emotion blocking 
my throat finally overcame my ability to speak coherently, I felt 
Eric's arms wrap around me, holding me tightly. I put my arms 
around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder.

	"Eric. I wanted it to be perfect between us. I was so 
happy that you were my friend, and now I've ruined everything!"

	"Bill! Stop! You haven't ruined anything. You can't 
blame yourself because of the way those older kids messed you up. 
What you said doesn't make any difference in the way I feel 
bout you. Because I... because I love you. I've loved you for a 
long time, but I didn't think I could tell you."

	"You... you love me? Eric; I love YOU so much, sometimes 
I feel like I could burst!" And then a miracle happened. He kissed 
me. On the lips. Kneeling there on the bed, our bodies crushed 
together. His tongue came out and sought admission to my 
mouth, and my lips instantly granted it. We slid down onto the 
bed, still locked in a passionate embrace. My love for him, and 
his for me, flowed in an unending loop. Then he whispered to 
me "Let me suck you." My body was alive with sensation as 
he kissed his way from my lips, to my chest, down my belly, 
and his lips came to rest on the tip of my cock. "Tell me what 
to, Bill. Teach me. I want to make you feel as wonderful as you 
made me feel." And he began licking and sucking, experimenting 
with how deep he could take me. I gave a few suggestions, but 
mostly just lay back and experienced the glorious feelings flowing 
through me. I had only fantasized about a boy's lips around my 
cock, after performing the act on Kevin numerous times. And my 
fantasies paled in comparison to the reality. Surges of electric lust 
flowed through my body. The nerves of my cock were hypersensitive 
to the playful nibbling and exquisite licking and sucking that Eric 
was giving me. When my orgasm welled up, my body was paralyzed 
with overwhelming ecstacy. When the first pulse of cum shot 
through my cockshaft into Eric's mouth, I was in another world. 
And it went on and on. No masturbation had ever been like this. 
Eric was still sucking when I was spent, and I had to stop him 
because it was too intense. I pulled him up into my arms. As we 
kissed, I tasted my cum on his tongue, and I thought to myself 
"We are one; we are lovers."

	"Eric, I love you so much..."

	"Bill, I want to love you forever. I want to do everything 
to make you happy."

	As we drifted off to sleep, I felt happier than I ever had in 
my life.

	Weeks passed, and we were inseparable. I turned 13 (with 
no discernable effect from having become a teenager). We spent 
as many afternoons together as we could. Friday and Saturday 
nights tested our parent's limits for sleep-overs. In the security of 
our bedrooms, and sometime while walking deep in the cold woods, 
we would kiss, we would stroke, and we would suck. One weekend 
night, as we lay talking, an hour after exchanging blowjobs, I said 
to Eric "You know, it's almost like that stuff I did before... you 
know, with Kevin and those other boys... it's almost like it never 
happened. I'm a different person, and it never happened to the 
person I am now."

	"I'm glad to hear you say that" he replied. "I never wanted 
to bring it up because I know how much pain it brought you. 
I guess it still makes you angry, doesn't it?"

	"Angry? Yeah, I guess. But I always blamed myself, 
because I wanted Kevin to use me, even though I can hardly 
believe it now. But, yeah, it makes me angry. You know, just 
once I'd like to fuck Kevin up the ass; and the other guys, too; 
make them see how it feels to be a sex toy that you use and then 
throw away."

	"Bill... I want you to fuck me. Take out your anger and 
use me. Pretend I'm Kevin, and fuck me."

	I was speechless. I could never even pretend to be angry 
at Eric. "No, Eric. I couldn't act any way to you except in love."

	"Then do it to me with love. Make love to me. I want it." 

	I kissed him. I held him in my arms and caressed his body 
with my hands and my lips. "OK, Eric. I'll make love to you." 
And I got the bottle of lube that I'd finally built up the nerve to 
purchase. For several minutes, I massaged Eric's anal muscle 
with slippery fingers, probing, twisting slowly to loosen him. 

	"Fuck me, Bill. I'm ready." 

	I lubed my straining cock and knelt between his pulled-back 
legs. Positioning the head of my cock at the entrance to his love 
channel, I said "Tell me to stop anytime; remember to flex your 
muscle out as I push in." I pushed, slowly, lovingly. Our eyes were 
locked together, and his eyes urged me on. I entered him a fraction 
of an inch at a time, and my slender 4-1/2 inch cock was soon all the 
way inside Eric's body, and I said "Ready?"

	"Yeah, lover. Fuck me" he said with a smile

	Pulling my cock back, I felt the delicious sensations of his 
tight muscle holding me, even as I slid sensuously inside him. 
Pushing back in, I went faster. A rhythm developed as I plunged 
into him smoothly and then felt him clenching his muscle on my 
out-stroke. 

	I remembered his words to me: "Take out your anger; 
pretend I'm Kevin." But there was no way I could do that. Looking 
down at him, at our bodies merging, filled me with such love that 
my heart was ready to explode. I was truly `making love' to him, 
and that was something that never happened between Kevin and me.

	The intense stimulation of that first fuck quickly built up 
inside of me, making my body move faster, thrusting into Eric, 
pistoning my hips. His arms were now around my neck, pulling me 
to him, pressing against his bent-back legs until our lips and tongues 
touched. I felt an urgency to bury my seed deep into Eric's body. 

	"Yeah, Bill! That's good! Fuck me, lover! Take me!" With 
Eric's words and my own lust urging me on, my hips went into 
high gear, plowing the boy's ass with long fast strokes. When 
my cum started spurting, I gasped at the unbelievable feeling of 
pleasure. As I collapsed onto Eric's body, his legs wrapped around 
my hips, drawing me even closer as we kissed.

	
	Well, that's it. A couple of 13-year-olds experiencing 
their first true love. And guess what? We're still together - a 
couple of 16-year-olds. Our parents know about us; so do our 
closest friends. But I'm still kind of a shy boy, so don't expect 
me to be too "out" just yet. Eric says maybe we should go to 
the Spring Dance as a couple, but I'm thinking it's still too soon.
Some of you may wonder if I still have those submission fantasies.
Yeah; sometimes. Also, Eric will sometimes do a roleplaying thing
with me where he's wearing just a jockstrap and I'm on my knees, and...
well, you can use your imagination. He's not much of a "dom" type, but 
he accommodates my kinks.

	By the way; we're both first-string varsity on the 
wrestling team. Eric's undefeated so far at 127 pounds. I'm 
5 wins and 3 losses in the 133-pound class. Wish us luck at the 
tournament next month.

The End

Please let me know how you liked my story   bil47_new@yahoo.com