Date: Mon, 18 Sep 2000 12:10:24 EDT
From: Bwstories8@aol.com
Subject: Son of a Preacher Man - chapter 5

Legal Notice:
The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts.
The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality.

Don't read this story if:
**You're not 18 or over,
**If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live,
**Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex.

The author retains copyright to this story.  Placing this story on a
website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's
permission is a violation of that copyright.  Legal action will be taken
against violators.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter.

If you have enjoyed reading this story, you will find other stories by me at
http://members.tripod.de/wolfslair, in the 'Other Stories' section.

E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions, or other 'constructive'
comments or advice may be sent to: bwstories8@aol.com.

                  *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Son of a Preacher Man - by BW (Young-Friends).    Copyright 2000 by billwstories
Chapter 5 - Wandering in the Wilderness.          January 2000

The next morning when I awoke, all I could think about was my interview for
the job at the grocery store.  This job was very important to me because
this would provide me with the funds to make my trips back to see Ryan.
Maybe I didn't need the funds for Christmas, but I would need the money for
next summer and Ryan is still the most important part of my life.  I
cleaned up and dressed in my church clothes, then I set out for the store.

I walked in and told one of the other employees that I was there to see
Mr. Farrell.  She led me over to a door, knocked on it, and then she told
the person inside about me.  She led me in and introduced the balding,
portly man inside as the store manager.  We shook hands and he asked me to
sit down.  He asked me a lot of questions and we talked about things in
general, like the neighborhood and our families.  Before I left, he told me
I could start as a bag boy/stocker Saturday, if I was still interested.  I
thanked him, took the papers I needed to have my parents sign, left the
store, and ran home delirious.  Life is good.

I was so excited that I couldn't stand still as I told my mother the good
news.  I danced around the room, still giddy from my good fortune, as I
handed her the papers that needed to be signed.  She tried to hug me, but
our heads collided because of my bouncing around, and I gave her a bloody
lip.  I apologized profusely and hugged her to make amends, but she just
chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, dear.  It's not a big deal.  I'm just pleased to see
you this happy again.  Here, I'll sign these forms and you can have your
father sign them after dinner.  Congratulations and remember to do a good
job."

"Oh, I will.  I need the money, so I won't do anything that would make me
lose it."

"I don't think you understand, dear.  It's not enough that you don't do
things that could cost you your job.  If a job is worth having, it's also
worth your best effort.  I expect you do your best every minute that you
are working, give it your all.  By doing that, it could lead to promotions
and even more money."

"You're right.  Thanks, Mom, I love you."

"I love you too, dear.  How would you like to go with me this afternoon, to
shop for some things for school?  You know you do have to go tomorrow for
orientation."

"Yes, I remember and that would be nice.  Am I going to get some new
clothes for school, too?"

"Yes, dear.  We will buy you a few things.  Now, run upstairs and change
out of your church clothes and we'll be on our way."

I ran up to my room and changed, and then Mom and I jumped into the car and
headed for the mall.  We had a nice afternoon together.  I got some clothes
and school supplies before we headed back.  When we got home, Dad was there
and I told him about the job.  He congratulated me, signed the papers, and
then he actually gave me another hug.  That's two hugs and one kiss since
we've been here.  I guess he does still love me.

After dinner, I watched a little television before I went to bed.  I turned
in early because of the orientation tomorrow morning, and I guess I was
actually a little excited about it.  My dreams from that night kept
switching back and forth from one thing to another.  First I would dream
about the new school, and then I'd dream about being with Ryan again.
There were no bad dreams and some of them were very interesting, if you
know what I mean.  I woke up in the morning ready to go, but still a little
aroused from my dreams about Ryan.

The orientation took place in the auditorium.  There were a lot of younger
kids there, the ones moving up from the elementary to the middle school,
and there were a handful of others like me, who were new to this district.
Here, the eighth grade was in the middle school and not in a junior high,
like at my old school.  I didn't meet anyone interesting, but I learned
about the school rules, met some of the faculty and staff, got another tour
of the school, and, most importantly, I got my class schedule.

The rest of my day was spent studying my schedule, trying on my clothes,
and getting things ready for school the next morning.  I was sort of
excited about all of this.  I kept thinking about that computer lab and I
hoped that maybe some of the students would introduce themselves to me.  I
know I should be brave enough to introduce myself, but that just wasn't my
style.  I knew that I would have to depend on the courage of others and I
hoped there were some brave people in my class.

The first few days of school were quite uneventful, but I did make it to
the computer lab.  I happened to have a study hall that coincided with one
of the lab's open periods, so I signed out and went there.  There were only
a couple of people in the lab, besides the aide who was assigned to work
there.  I told her that I didn't know very much about computers and she sat
down with me and started to teach me the basics.  When we were done, I
thanked her and asked her if she would also be there after school.  She
said that she would be and I told her that I would be back.  Before the
first week ended, I had three lessons on the computer.

When Saturday came, I went to the grocery store to start my training.  When
I arrived, another boy named Peter was there to start too.  Mr. Farrell
came out and started to teach us the different things we were to do.  He
first showed us where things were located and kept, and then he showed us
how to bag groceries.  After that he let us practice for a while, working
behind one of the cashiers.  After we had each bagged up several orders, he
told us we could take a fifteen-minute break.

During that break, Peter came up to me and started talking.  He asked me
where I went to school and what grade I was in.  It turned out we were in
the same grade, same school, and we even had a science class together.  I
guess we hadn't noticed each other in it before.  We went back to work and
finished out the rest of the day and I didn't think too much more about our
conversation.  As we were leaving after work, Peter asked me where I lived.
I told him and he said he lived on the other side of town.  We compared our
next week's schedule for work, Mr. Farrell had given them to us just before
we left, and we saw that we were both working Friday, after school, and
Saturday.  Peter said we could walk from school to work together on Friday
and I agreed.  We said our good-byes and then we turned in opposite
directions and headed home.

I was pleased that Peter spoke to me and now there was at least one other
person I knew.  Peter seemed like a nice kid and he wasn't bad looking.  He
wasn't gorgeous like Ryan, but he wasn't bad either.  He was an inch or two
taller than me and he had brown hair and hazel eyes.  He looked kind of
stocky, though not fat, but he didn't look overly muscular.  I didn't care.
He had the courage to speak to me and I would definitely give him a chance.
When classes started on Monday, I made sure to say hi to Peter when I got
to science class.  He said hi back and he smiled, but that was it.  After
school I went to the computer lab again, and I told the aide that I would
be there every night after school, except Friday.  She said that would be
fine and I thanked her, once more, for all of the extra help.

Tuesday went about the same and Peter and I swapped hellos in science.
When school was over, I went back to the computer lab and started working.
After a few minutes, Peter came into the lab and went to the computer back
in the corner.  I guess he didn't see me because he didn't speak.  I
finished up what I was working on, so I went back to talk to Peter.  When
he saw me, he got very nervous.

"Hi, Peter.  What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing.  Just reading some articles on the web."

"Articles about what?"

"Uh, just some stuff I was interested in."

"Can I see?"

"Well, uh, you probably wouldn't be, uh, interested in this stuff.  It's
kind of far out."

"I like some far out things, so let me see.  Maybe I'll like this."

"Well, uh, this stuff is really far out and besides I'm done."  He signed
off his computer and left the lab, telling me he'd see me Friday.

I thought the whole thing was kind of strange and I wondered what it was
that he didn't want me to see.  Oh, well, maybe some other time.

The next several weeks went about the same.  I'd occasionally see Peter in
the computer lab, but he was always kind of secretive about what he was
doing.  I was learning a lot and I was now on the World Wide Web.  I
learned about search engines and I decided that maybe I'd find some things
about being gay if I used one of them.  Maybe I could find an address for
some youth groups or find some information that would help me when Ryan and
I got back together.  This way I could find the things I wanted to know
about without having to ask other people.  This way I could get the
information and yet remain anonymous, not having to worry about what the
other person's reaction might be.  This is great.  Isn't the Internet
wonderful?

I started to find a great deal of information that I could use.  I couldn't
get into any of the picture sites, because you need to buy a membership and
be 18.  Oh, well.  I did find a site called 'Nifty', which had a lot of
stories on it.  I went to the gay section and started reading all the
stories I could.  I began to realize that I wasn't alone in what I was
going through.  There was a fairly large number of other gay youths out
there who were seeking love, just like me, and some of them even wrote
their fantasies down to share with others.  I would e-mail some of the
authors of the stories and chat with them about their feelings and why they
wrote what they did.  I was learning a great deal about being gay from what
they wrote back to me and from the things that they described in their
stories.

I would see Peter in the lab, once or twice a week, but we never really
talked there.  We were both too involved with what we were doing on the
computer.  On Fridays, Peter and I would meet and walk to work together and
chat about school and our families as we went.  I liked Peter as a friend
but we weren't all that close and we didn't have that much in common,
except for work and school.  I don't know why, but I noticed that he didn't
seem to have any other friends.  There were other people he talked to in
the halls, the lunchroom, or in class, but there was no one he hung out
with in particular.  From what I could tell, I spent more time with him
than anyone else, beside his parents.

The fall semester was going by really quickly.  I was doing really well in
school, I liked my job, things were good at home, and Mom took me in
mid-October to buy my plane ticket for Christmas.  I did have one minor
problem at work, though, and that was about working on Sundays.  I finally
got my father to allow me to work from two until closing, at six.  That
way, I could attend church services and still make Mr. Farrell happy by
working at least part of the day.  I also agreed to work on our days off
from school and holidays, so I could earn more money.  That way, I got
Mr. Farrell to let me have Christmas vacation off, without having to quit.

It was now the week before Christmas and I was getting excited about my
trip to Ryan's house.  There were only a few days of school left before the
holiday began.  I was in the computer lab every day after school, reading
stories on Nifty, hoping to find new ideas, things Ryan I might be able to
try while we were together.  I was sure glad that both of his parents
worked and we would be home alone during the day.  I was really into this
one story, when I heard a voice behind me.

"You read stories on Nifty?"

I spun around to see who just spoke, and there stood Peter with a shocked
look on his face.  I was caught!  Soon, everyone in the school would know
that I was gay.  I spun back to the monitor, closed the window to Nifty,
signed off the net, and then raced from the room.  As I went through the
door, I heard Peter call after me, but I just couldn't face him.  I didn't
know what to say to him and I wasn't sure that I wanted to find out how he
was going to react.  I just wanted to crawl into a corner and die.  For
some unknown reason, I ran down the stairs to the basement and hid in the
darkened, triangular opening under the stairway.  I hoped that I could hide
until Peter went home, and then I could leave the building unobserved.
Peter must have seen my movements, because the next thing I knew, he was
standing in front of me, watching me cower in the semi-darkness.

I looked up at him, trying to hold back a sob.  "Get out of here.  Now you
know about me.  I'm gay and there's nothing I can do about it.  So, get out
of here and have your laughs when you tell your friends and everyone else.
Maybe my Dad will let me go back to my old school."

"Zach.  I'm not going to tell anyone."  His voice was soft and gentle.

I looked at him, wondering why he was being so nice.

"Why not?  Nobody likes fags."

He paused.  "Except maybe other fags."

I wasn't sure if he meant what I thought he meant.  "You...you
mean...you're gay?"

He nodded his head in the affirmative.  He paused and then he moved toward
where I was crunched up under the stairs.  "Do you remember that day you
came over to me in the computer lab and wanted to know what I was doing?"
I nodded to him.  "Well, I was on Nifty and I was trying to keep you from
finding out."

"No way!"

"Yes.  I was scared to death, thinking that you might have seen something
or figured it out.  I wasn't sure how I should act around you, but then you
didn't act like anything was wrong.  I decided that you couldn't have seen
enough to figure it out.  I was a lot more careful after that."  Ryan
walked over, knelt down beside me, and put his arm around my shoulder.
"Why don't you come out of there, so we can go outside and talk?  You know,
where it's more private."

I nodded, got up, and I walked back to the lab with Peter and got my
things.  A few minutes later we left the school, and then we walked to a
place where we could talk alone.

"Peter?  How long have you known that you were gay?"

"I guess I've always known, but I finally admitted it to myself about two
years ago.  How about you?"

"I've known since I was about seven or eight.  I just liked to look at
other boys' bodies.  Girls just didn't interest me at all."

"Have you ever, you know, done it with anyone, Zach?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer this question.  I looked at Peter, his
eyes pleading with me to respond, and I decided that I should try to be as
honest and supportive of him as he had been to me.

"Yes, with my best friend from where I used to live.  How about you?"

"Nothing.  I was always too afraid to suggest it to anyone else.  I didn't
want them to start calling me names and things.  I really don't have any
'real' friends, though.  Do you think that maybe you could show me some
things sometime?"

"Maybe.  I'll have to think about that and ask Ryan if he'd mind."

"Is Ryan your boyfriend?"

I shook my head in response.  "I couldn't do anything unless I checked with
him first.  Otherwise, I'd feel like I was cheating on him and I don't
think I could live with that.  I mean, if he agrees to let me show you some
things, it will be as a friend and not as a boyfriend.  Would that be all
right with you?"

"Yeah.  It's better than not knowing what it is like or not being able to
do anything at all.  I wouldn't ask you, Zach, now that I know you have a
boyfriend and all.  It's just that I do like you, although I'm not sure if
I love you, and I don't have anyone else to turn to."

"I understand and I'm think Ryan will too."

"You think so?  Maybe if you call him soon, we could get together over
Christmas and try some things out."

"Maybe after Christmas.  I'm going to fly to Ryan's over Christmas break
and spend the week with him."

"Oh, I didn't know.  I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, Peter.  We're friends and, now that we know
about each other, we can be better friends and help each other survive and
keep our sanity.  I'm glad you found out about me because it was driving me
crazy, not having anyone to talk to about things like that.  Do your
parents know?"

"Not yet.  I think my folks could handle it, but I haven't been able to
work up the nerve to tell them.  How about yours?"

"No way.  My father's a minister and he considers homosexuality to be a
sin.  He'd totally flip out if he ever discovered my secret.  I'm not
really sure how my mom would react, but I don't think she'd handle it very
well either."

"Zach, have you ever seen any pictures of guys doing things?"

"No.  I've never seen any of the gay magazines and the sites on the
net. They all require a paid I.D."

"I have."

"You have what?"

"I've seen pictures of guys doing it on the net."

"How?"

"One guy I sent e-mails to gave me his I.D. and password and told me that I
could use it once in a while.  He said it would be fine, as long as I
didn't overdo it.  Do you want to go back to the lab and check some out?"

"Is it safe to do it?"

"Yeah, I've done it in there before.  We just have to keep our eyes open,
in case someone heads our way."

"Great.  Let's go."

With that, we headed back to the lab and I got to look at some pictures, to
get some ideas and learn if I was doing anything wrong, before I left on my
trip.

                   *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

If you have enjoyed reading this story, you will find other stories by me at
http://members.tripod.de/wolfslair, in the 'Other Stories' section.
E-mails may be sent to: bwstories8@aol.com.