Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003 05:31:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jo V <dmx@gayworld.be>
Subject: Stigmatized Part 2

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WARNING:
This story may contain scenes that include gay sex between teen
boys and/ or adults. If this offends you in any way, please don't
read any further and just leave. If you are under the age of 18
or in some states or countries 21, it may be illegal for you to
read this.

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This is the first real story I am writing. I hope you like it and
I would be very pleased if you send me feedback or criticism on
my work. This time it may not contain sex, but that is
not the true meaning of the story. But off course, sex will be
involved later on, at least, if you want me to continue it.
I hope my grammar and spelling is mostly correct.

All comments to: dmx@gayworld.be , I would
really appreciate it. Thx :) -X- D.

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Stigmatized

Part 2:

by Dominic


Recap:

There was one person I could feel safe with, one
person I could talk to, without being afraid. My
best friend Josh and my two other friends Barry
and Stephen. They had never let me down unlike
most of the others. If those friends hadn't been
there, I would've given it all up already,
because the way my life was, wasn't bad, it was
even worse...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I came a point that I got sick of it all. I
couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't deal with
him any longer. But the way it happened, wasn't
meant to be. I didn't want it to end up this
way, but it did...

When I woke up that morning I went downstairs to
the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. But I
never got that far...  I saw him hanging there in
our living room. Suddenly I couldn't breathe, I
couldn't think. My father hung himself at the
chandelier. The only thought that crossed my
mind was to run away. Just run away and never
return to this place again. But my feet didn't
allow me to go anywhere. I couldn't move, I
simply couldn't. The world started fading, and
everything suddenly turned black...

The next thing I remember is waking up in a
hospital room, with my best friend Josh sitting
next to me.

"Wh..Where am I?" I asked

"At the Saint Francis hospital... I found you on
the ground yesterday morning when I came to pick
you up for school. I also found your dad..." he
answered with tears welling up in his eyes.

I didn't know how to feel. All the anger and the
rage from those past years started to come up. I
didn't know whether I was supposed to cry. I
hated him, because of what he did to me, because
of what he had been like those last couple of
years. But I never wanted him dead! Or maybe I
did?

I started to cry. Tears started flowing from my
eyes, I was out of control. All the memories
came back to me now. What the hell was I doing?
He had abused me in any possible way and still I
cried because of him?

Not a word was being said. We both just cried.
After a while, he was the first one to break the
silence:

"What happened Dominic?" he said, still sobbing.

"I..I don't know.. I don't remember anything.. I
just remember waking up and seeing him hang
there, but I don't remember anything after
that." I answered.

"You have been unconscious for a day. The doctor
said you passed out and fell to the floor, and
probably hit  your head or something.. I am
going to call him, he asked me to call him if
you would wake up."

"Okay.." I said, still knocked out. It was like
none of this was really happening and during the
same time it was. I felt relieved but at the
same time I felt like shit. He had destroyed the
last years of my life, and God, I hated him for
that, but now I felt totally alone. He had taken
the easy way out of this mess, and left me here,
all alone...

The last years I had completely taken care of
myself without any help from anybody else,
except for paying the bills, that was the only
thing my father had done for me. But now what
was going to happen to me?

The doctor came into the room and told me he was
going to take me to the examination room, so he
could do a full examination and that, if
everything turned out to be fine, I could leave
the hospital the next day.

When we entered the examination room, he told me
to take off my clothes. He asked me a couple of
times if anything hurt when he pushed some
places, but it didn't. When he was done with my
front side, he asked me to turn around, to
examine my rear side. Then he saw the bruises at
my back. There weren't many, but he knew
something was wrong and he asked me what had
happened, but I didn't answer him. All I could
do was cry.

After he had examined everything, he started
asking me questions again:

"Who did this to you Dominic? Do you want to
talk about it?"

I nodded, I knew I had to tell him, because he
was suspicious.

"Was it your father who did this to you?"

I nodded again, memories started to overwhelm me
again, but I couldn't speak, it seemed as if I
could only nod my head.

"Have you also been sexually abused?"

"Yes.." I said, with a trembling voice. I was
scared. I knew I could tell everybody about it
now he was gone, but still, it scared me. I felt
sad and at the same time happy. One part of me
felt like I could start living again, without
any fear, but the other part felt terrible. And
then I didn't know what was going to happen to me
now. I didn't have any relatives where I could go
to. I was scared as hell.

The doctor finished without asking me any more
questions, I think he saw and knew enough. He
brought me back to my room and told Josh to go
home and get some rest. Josh had been there with
me all the time, he even stayed with me during
the night. I know now he cared about me a lot
during the last years and that he also had been
worried about me, not really knowing what was wrong
with me all the time, cause I never told him.

He didn't want to leave at first, but the doctor
told him I needed some rest and that I could
probably leave hospital the next day.

As he left, I started thinking what would happen
to me. Would I be placed in an orphanage? Would
there be a relative that I didn't know existed
show up and take me in? All those questions kept
running trough my mind. How would I continue my
life? Would everything ever work out for me
again?

I got a sleeping pill and soon after that I fell
asleep.

I dreamt about the disgusting things my father
made me do. The beatings, the humiliation and
the frustrations, how he touched me and how I
had to touch him.
But when the image of him hanging there showed
up again, the dream went from a nightmare to a
nice, caring and safe world. I saw my mother.
She was talking to me. She told me how she was
proud of me and how she disgusted my father
after all he had done to me, how she had wanted
to be there in those times. She told me
everything was going to be alright now, that
there would be no more worrying for me and no
more fear. I can still hear her say those words:
"Remember Dominic, I will always love you..."

When I woke up it was 6:00 AM in the morning. A
nurse stood there by my bed and told me that
everything was alright. She said she had to take
my blood pressure and temperature. After that
she went away and came back with breakfast.

While I ate one of the sandwiches, I got a
relieved feeling, as if everything was over and
a whole new world would open up to me. Although
I still didn't know what was going to happen to
me, I could feel everything would work out just
fine. By 9:00 AM Josh showed up.

"Hi bud, you got some sleep?" He asked.

"Yeah, I did, I feel a lot better. Thanks bud,
for staying here all the time and being there
for me and stuff, I really appreciate it."

"Hey man, that's what friends are for"

"Speaking of friends.. How are Stephen and Barry
doing?"

"They were here yesterday, before you woke up,
but they went to school in the morning. It's
Wednesday remember?"

"I lost track of time I guess."

He chuckled a little and looked at me with a
smile on his face. It felt really good to see
him smile. I started smiling a bit too.

"My parents are here too, but they had to go to
the desk and fill out some papers. They'll be
here in a sec."

"Why do they need to fill out papers, anything
wrong in your family too?" I asked, with a
little bit of concern in my voice.

"No silly, because they are going to like..
adopt you. But there is a lot of legal crap to
do so..."

"No kidding?!?"

"No, really not, I wouldn't mess around with
you, certainly not at a time like this."

Then we heard the door knob, and both John and
Susan Evans entered the room.

"Hey Dominic" Susan said.

"Hey Susan, hello John." I answered.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes I do, not happy, but I do feel better."

"Well, I guess Josh has probably already told
you what is going to happen?" John asked, with a
concerned look in his eyes.

"He told me, but, I don't want to mess up your
family, and I don't want to be a pain in the ass
for all of you... I mean, I really like you all,
but you have two sons of your own, why would you
want me?"

"Because we love you Dominic, we love you like a
child of our own. You always came to us when
something was bothering you, never ever telling
what it really was. You have been the best
friend for Josh...You are like a brother to both
him and Drew and like a son to us... And we think
that's the way your mother would've wanted it to be."
Susan said.

Tears started welling up in my eyes again. I
loved all of them, but I didn't want to
interfere with their lives. I didn't want to be
any trouble for any of them.

They assured me it was the least they could do, and
that they really wanted to do this, especialy for my
mother. They used to be very close with my parents
because we only lived a few houses apart, in the same
street.

After my mom died they never bonded with my
father again, he didn't want it anymore. He blocked
out all of the memories that he and my mother shared,
including John and Susan.
They used to visit him, trying to talk some sense into
him but it never worked and he always ended up drunk
in one of the bars across town.

"It will take a few weeks before everything is legal,
but we arranged with the police and the hospital that
we take you with us during that time, that is if you
want to come with us of course." John said, bringing me
back out of my thoughts.

"There's nothing I would like more than to come with
you." I said sobbing and in tears, but this time it
were tears of joy.

"There are some things that need to be arranged for the
funeral too, but we will take care of that, don't you
worry about anything, You had to worry enough already.
I think you will be released this afternoon, but the
doctor will decide that. We still have a lot of paper
work to fill out, we'll be here again around noon,
Josh will stay here with you. Bye now." Susan said while
she and john left the room.

"Bye" I said, still unable to absorb everything that
was happening to me at the time. I felt like this
would be a fresh start of my life. I couldn't be happier
than I was now.

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This was part two of the story

I hope you liked it. The abuse has finally come to an end
and it seems like there will be a whole new future for
Dominic and Josh. Next chapter you will get to meet Drew,
Josh's little brother and Stephen Quincy and Barry Thompson,
two of Dominic's best friends.
His father will be buried, but of course not all the memories
will be buried with him and Dominic will settle in with
John and Susan Banning.

The first part of my story was submitted to Nifty in january
this year but has just been published (6 months later)
because it first part was rather short and traumatic and
the archivist didn't know how it would develop. Now I hope
it doesn't take this long for the follow-ups to be posted
hehe :) Anyway, thanks for posting it :)

During the past months I have written the whole story, but
now I know it is published I am rewriting it, mostly getting the
errors out of it and all :)

Thanks for the comments I got this far.

I am still looking forward to your feedback and comments
at dmx@gayworld.be

Thx for reading
stay tuned! (to be continued) -X- D.

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