Date: Sat, 23 Apr 2011 22:34:04 -0700
From: paramoe1954@hushmail.com
Subject: Sweet Spot Part 2 - Monster

***This work is complete fiction. None of the characters in this story are
real. The events in this story have never happened. I hope you enjoy
reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Please send me comments! I want to know what you liked or disliked!
paramoe1954@hushmail.com***

***My other stories,
Kissing Along His Neck -- Posted 9-11-10 (gay/young-friends)
Sweet Spot  (gay/young -friends) Part three is on its way soon!
Don't Do That  Parts 1 & 2 (gay/incest)
Brother's Touch -- Posted 11-8-10 (gay/incest)
The Right Formula -- Posted 11-16-10 (gay/sf-fantasy)
A Caring Heart -- Posted 1-10-11 (gay/sf-fantasy)

(For a complete list, I am listed as Paramoe in the prolific authors roster
on Nifty)***


Sweet Spot Part Two -- Monster

'I am powerless...' That is all I could think as I watched my Aunt Trudy's
minivan drive away with the most important person in my life. I watched
Sean's young hand pressed to the window as a distant touch in my direction,
and I wanted to run after him. I wanted to stop the van and tell everyone
how important this little boy was to me. My body wanted to collapse at the
end of the dirt driveway and bang my hands on the dirt. My mind wanted to
curse the world loudly for forcing me to hide every hurting emotion that
wanted to explode out of me. I could do nothing to stop my Aunt from taking
Sean away and I had to remain calm and try to control the tears.

My fists were balled tight, making my knuckles turn white and I was making
every effort to slow my breathing. I knew that my face was red and my eyes
were wet and I tried my best to conceal my emotional state from my parents,
but they were right there. My Dad was saying his farewells to other family,
but his eyes followed me more as time went on. My mom seemed to pick up on
the fact that something was wrong, but I couldn't do enough to hide my
crashing world.

I wanted to at least stay at the curb and watch the minivan until it turned
the corner, but too many people were wondering what was wrong with me. Even
I was wondering what was wrong with me, to get so mixed in a love that had
zero tolerance in other people's eyes. However, above the worry about what
other people thought, the idea of Sean's love was still sweet inside me.

I made my way inside as quickly as I could. I dodged family that was still
inside the house and darted up the stairs to the familiarity of my room. My
grandparent's luggage was gone and it was an immediate sign that I was in a
comforting privacy. I fell forward onto my bed, bouncing as I hit. My hands
found my pillow and pulled it tight against my face, burying a sob that
felt like the hurtful cry of a toddler.

My Dad didn't talk to me for a few weeks and I don't think my mom was sure
what to make of my display of emotion when the family left. Both parents
took their normal positions in circumstances that they didn't like or
understand, Dad avoided it completely and Mom acted like everything was
fine, hoping it would go away. It was never more obvious that I was on my
own in this situation.

I never thought it was possible to be completely changed over night, but I
was a different person. I couldn't seem to function the same as I did
before Sean came into my life. When I wanted to get away from my Dad to
read, I couldn't go to the trailer without having every bit of Sean's naked
image brought to the forefront of my mind. When I visited the arcade, I
could only stare at the Strategos machine and wonder what Sean would look
like as he played and beat everyone in the building. I tried to lose myself
in the Pyre Gables books, but they were Sean's favorites. The whole of my
surroundings gave me stomach aches as I craved the tiniest bit of Sean in
my life.  But I had a whole year to wait until I saw him again and time
ticked by so slowly that it felt like the clocks were broken. A whole day
felt like a week and a week was like an eternity.

I had never been attracted to little boys before and I wondered if I had
completely lost myself in sexual attraction to children all together. This
thought, that I had become some sort of a molester, sent chills through
me. I felt my heart rate pick up and a cold sweat began as I contemplated
whether this is how men became pedophiles. I shook my head as I told myself
that child molesters were creepy people, like my cousin Henry. My cousin
was about ten years older than me and I remember being so scared of him
because all of the younger cousins were told not to talk to him because he
did bad things with kids.  We used to play 'Keep Away from the Monster',
the monster being my cousin Henry and I remember him getting angry and
yelling at us as we approached him, then ran away in mock fear. At night, I
would wonder what 'bad things' my cousin Henry really did to little boys
and hope that I would never truly know.

I had to talk myself into knowing that I wasn't a bad person at all. What
Sean and I had done together, was mutual and beautiful and could never been
something bad. It wasn't like I had strapped the kid to a tree and tortured
him or raped him. Torture and rape is what the child molesters did after
watching and following kids as they walked home from school, and I wouldn't
ever do anything like that.

Things got a little easier in the third week after Sean had gone. I still
had the want for Sean in my life, but I was suddenly able to think about
things more clearly without going into a gut wrenching longing for my boy.

It was in that third week that I finally decided to be constructive about
the new love that I had experienced. I went straight for the google search
engine to look for schools for gifted children in Greenwood New Mexico, but
found that the closest schools were a hundred miles away. In my search for
more information, I realized how little I actually knew about Sean. I
didn't know the boy's last name or even which house he lived in to be a
neighbor to my cousins.

I got a sick feeling with every dead-end that I hit while trying to contact
Sean. I was kicking myself in the nuts for not asking if maybe Sean was on
the internet or what school he went to, or even just asking 'What's your
last name?' In the end, when I exhausted every effort, I added Aunt Trudy
as a friend on Facebook, hoping that she was good friends with Sean's
mother. Hours were spent going through all two hundred of my Aunt Trudy's
friends to see if one friend might be related to Sean. I ran into walls
where people had their profiles set to private and I ended up seeing a lot
of pictures of my aunt that I wish I had never viewed. In all of my
Searching, I only came up with one woman in particular who looked slightly
similar to Sean, so I sent a friend request telling her that her son was
brilliant. I sat at my the computer in my room, clicking the refresh button
over and over, hoping for a message back, but there was no response.

As I sat in my room, waiting for a friend confirmation that might never
come, it occurred to me that Sean might be listed in the archives for
Strategos Tournaments at the Universities. I stopped my finger from
repeatedly tapping the F5 key and went to a web site for Academic
Decathlons. I found a link for the Strategos rankings that went back a good
twenty years. I scanned through lists of names, finding a couple of team
Captains named Sean over the years, along with nine other guys with the
same name who were Ciphers for various positions within a team. I had
assumed that the Strategos tournaments were single player but it appeared
that the games were played on a larger scale than just the table top. The
lists of teams didn't state ages, but they did mention what school each
student was from. I found Two students named Sean and one was too many
years ago to be my Sean. The other possible candidate was named Sean
Hampton, and I clicked on the name, almost shaking with hope. I watched the
screen change to bring up a grid full of stats that I didn't
understand. The page only gave information about game performance but there
was no age listed or, what I was hoping for, a picture. I let out a
frustrated sigh, pushing the keyboard to hit the monitor.

I heard feet clunking up the stairs in the hallway. It sounded like two
sets of feet were walking upstairs and I waited, listening for who it could
be. Strange as it may sound, my mom and dad were never coming up the
stairway at the same time so this caught me off guard. I jumped when I
heard a deep thudding of a knock on my door.

"Open up turd-blossom!" I heard a familiar voice say. I was relieved that
it wasn't my mom or my dad but I was a little put off by who it really
was. It was my friend Jeff, from school. Jeff wasn't gay but he knew that I
was, and liked to fool around a lot. We didn't spend every day together,
but we were together enough that he would notice that I haven't called or
seen him in a month.

I let out a weary sigh as I slid the deadbolt on my door to let him
in. Jeff was fifteen, just like me. He had bleach blond hair with green
streaks and what always caught me about him was that he had very good skin
that I always wanted to kiss on, but never did because it was too gay for
him.

Jeff waltzed past me and plopped himself down on my bed. I was surprised to
see his little brother follow him in. Some times Jeff's brother, Craig came
along because Jeff had to watch him. I once tried to send Craig downstairs
to wait but he was afraid of my Dad and my Mom wanted to know why he
couldn't be in the room with us. So Jeff and I pleasured each other while
Craig kept busy playing a game on my computer, only a few feet away. Jeff
and I always tried to be as quiet as possible, as if Craig couldn't already
figure out what the noises were behind his back. I would go through the
motions of bringing Jeff to orgasm while listening to the clicking sounds
of my computer mouse while Craig tried to ignore us.

I had never really paid much attention to Craig before, but for some reason
I saw something different in him as he sat down at my chair in front of the
computer. Craig was only eight years old and he had the same great soft
skin that his brother had, but I never even talked to him much past few
times that he had accompanied his brother into my room. As I examined Craig
to see what might be different, I saw that it wasn't something different
but something familiar that was catching me. Perhaps it was the youthful
vibrancy of the skin of Craig's neck or maybe it was the fair dusting of
hair for his eyebrows that reminded me of some one I missed. Craig wasn't a
duplicate of Sean or anything, but some of his boy-like features were
popping out at me.

"Hi." I said, looking at Craig.

"Yeah hi." Jeff Said, "Over here!"

Craig immediately swiveled around in my computer chair to face my flat
screen. I saw the little kid minimize my facebook page and then open a game
called Hog Hopper, which was the only game that Jeff liked Craig to play
because you had to keep your eyes on the screen and repeatedly click the
mouse to hop. Jeff felt more comfortable getting into our sex play as long
as he could hear that his brother was busy.

I turned my head to see the perplexed look on Jeff's face. "Sorry." I said,
"How have you been?"

"I haven't even seen you in a month!" Jeff griped, searching my face for
reaction.

In the past, I was always the one to call up Jeff and ask to spend time
with him. It occurred to me that this was the first time that Jeff had
taken it upon himself to come by the house. I wondered if he was here
because he wanted to see me or because he wanted to fool around.

"I've been a little busy." I replied, closing my bedroom door. I heard a
quiet grunt come from Jeff as his eyes watched me.

"With anyone in particular?" Jeff asked. He tried to act like the answer
would mean nothing, but I saw his left hand in a tight grip on his shirt as
he waited for my reply.

"Would it matter?" I asked, seeing Jeff's eyes dart away to look at the
wall.

As I stood, waiting for an answer from Jeff, I felt his right shoe tap
lightly on my shin. I pushed my leg forward slightly to return the touch,
feeling my dick grow in my shorts. I glanced at Craig who was peeking over
his shoulder and I smiled at him. I looked back down at Jeff who was now
massaging his boner through the material of his shorts.

I felt Jeff's free hand grip the hem of my shorts and pull towards him. I
let his pull guide me until I was straddling him on the bed. My dick was
fully hard and I loved the feel of Jeff's fingers snaking up through the
leg of my shorts. My eyes met Craig's little eyes as his older brother's
fingers found my hard-on.

"Keep playing the game!" Jeff barked across the room at Craig.

My computer chair creaked a bit as Craig quickly turned his attention back
to the screen. Suddenly Jeff's grip squeezed tighter on my dick, hurting
me. My eyes darted back to Jeff, showing him an angry face.

"The fun is down here." Jeff said, pulling me to lay on top of him.

I always got turned on at the beginning of Jeff's guiding touch, but the
excitement lessened when he pushed my head down until his dick was in front
of my face. This was always the moment when I cast away all hopes for an
emotional connection with Jeff. I stared at the five inch, cut dick that
was poking out of Jeff's open zipper and let out a tired sigh.

I snapped open Jeff's shorts button and then pulled hem to his knees, along
with his plaid boxers. I looked at the leaning erection, thinking that it
looked too big for what I really wanted. Finally, I did what was expected
of me, I opened my mouth and let the head of my friend's penis push to the
back of my throat. I felt my own erection shrivel in my shorts and I began
a ritual without love.

I could hear Craig, steadily clicking computer mouse followed by the
repeated 'oink' from the hopping pig on the screen. The clicking and the
'oinks' slowed until finally they came to a stop. Jeff was grabbing at my
head and pushing his erection into my mouth with more force now. I glanced
to the side to see that Craig was watching me, over his shoulder and I was
surprised when my dick began to get hard again. Craig kept his wide and
curious eyes on my bobbing head for a minute and then returned to playing
the game again. I found myself wishing that the boy would have kept
watching my sex play with Jeff and that turned me on even more.

Jeff's breathing was picking up and he was trying to stifle his moans of
pleasure as I sucked on him with more vigor. In the corner of my eye, I
could see Craig's head turn to watch the show again. Jeff didn't seem to
notice that the sounds of the computer game had stopped.

I positioned my tongue against the bottom of Jeff's shaft and made a tight
suck each time he thrust into my mouth. I fought the involuntary gag,
letting Jeff's head hit the back of my throat and I let the back part of my
tongue massage the Jeff's dickhead. I gave my fifteen year old friend a
suck that he would never forget and I knew it was quite a show for Craig as
he watched his brother's grunts and the way he grabbed my hair. Jeff didn't
pull his dick out of my mouth when he started to cum, I had to take two
jets of his cum before pulling off. The last few squirts laid warm streams
across my cheek as I held my tongue out, running it along the bottom part
of Jeff's shaft. I had never heard my friend groan through his teeth with
such vigor before and I had certainly never felt him shudder the way he
was. As the waves of pleasure lessened, Jeff pressed my face against his
slow grinding hard-on. I licked up the remaining cum on his dick and
caressed his balls into my mouth as he relaxed his muscles and eased back
down on the bed.

My eyes glanced sideways to see Craig's watchful eyes as I carefully rolled
his older brothers balls inside my mouth.

Jeff's legs spread apart slightly. "What the fuck was that, dude?" Jeff
panted while trying to catch his breath. "That was goddamn amazing."

"Rest up." I said, after rolling his balls out of my mouth. "I want to do
it again in a few minutes." I added.

I felt the bed shake as Jeff let out a silent chuckle. "That was such a hot
cum. My dick is tired."

My lips gently kissed along Jeff's wilting dick, sucking in loose
skin. "What about your little brother?" I asked.

Jeff's head raised up to look at me with an exhausted and perplexed face,
"What about him?"

I glanced at Craig, sitting patiently on my swivel chair with clasped hands
cupped over his little crotch. I turned back to Jeff, "He always sits and
waits while I get you off." I let my tongue swirl around on the head of
Jeff's dick. I felt Jeff's hands lightly grasp my head, pulling my head off
a little. "Maybe your little brother wants to know what its like to feel
good, like big brother." I said.

The bed shook again when Jeff shrugged his shoulders saying, "I guess."

I looked at Craig and said, "What do ya say Craig? You want to try it?"

Craig's eyes grew wider and he quickly looked to Jeff for a
response. Jeff's eyes were careful, looking from me to his little brother.

"Sure." Jeff said in a tired sigh, "Whatever."

I raised myself, away from Jeff's crotch and patted the empty space on the
bed next to Jeff. Craig stood up from the chair, walking over on shaky
legs. Craig never took his eyes off of his older brother's watchful face,
taking care to be sure that it was alright. Before sitting down on the edge
of the bed, Craig looked at me and I smiled. Craig didn't return my smile
but glanced back to see his older brother laying flat on my bed with his
arm over his eyes.

I scooted on the floor kneeling in front of Craig so that his knees were at
my stomach. The young boy looked into my eyes and gulped.

"We'll only do this if you want to." I said, attempting to show a
comforting smile.

Craig nodded his head in response, and then laid back on my bed. Jeff
didn't seem to want to pay any attention, still keeping his arm over his
eyes. Jeff's shorts were still pulled to his knees and his cut five inch
dick remained half hard.

I gently took hold of both of Craig's hands and removed them from covering
his crotch. A smile grew on my face when I saw that the little guy had a
tiny bulge that made a tent in his shorts. I caught Craig's red faced smile
beaming at me and I matched his grin. Before setting the boy's soft little
hands at his sides I caressed the them a bit, and then moved to the
waistband of his gold colored basketball shorts. I placed the tips of my
fingers under the elastic of his shorts and saw Craig's smile fade to a
more serious expression as he watched my hands. I lifted the shorts away
from his abdomen a bit and slowly guided the material lower, giving him
time to stop me if he wanted. There were no objections from the eight year
old who was now breathing a bit harder as I guided his shorts down his legs
until they draped loosely over his knees. I tried to meet his eyes with a
reassuring grin but I'm sure it appeared to be a nervous gesture. My hands
found the young boy's hips and I ran my hands upward, catching his shirt in
my thumbs and exposing the soft skin of his tummy. I scooted forward a bit
and leaned over until my nose was touching just above his belly button. I
pressed my nostrils against the silky smooth skin of his abdomen taking in
a scent that brought in a clear memory of my night with Sean. I exhaled a
shaky breath and inhaled again, feeling the exhilarating rush of crystal
clear memories.

I felt Craig's giggling belly button against my breathing and I let out a
giggle of my own, tracing my mouth lower on him. My chin dragged along his
stomach, passing the waistband of his white briefs and resting on the tiny
hard-on. I rolled my chin back and forth on his erection, feeling his hips
push forward against the stimulation.

"Feel good?" I asked.

But there was no verbal reply from Craig. I looked across his abdomen to
see his mouth open and eyes half closed in ecstasy. I pushed my chin
against his miniature boner, rolling the shaft harder and faster. I heard
him exhale quickly and felt his left hand land lightly on the back of my
head. I moved my mouth, chin and nose all over the pole that pushed the
material of his briefs. I was taking in the scent of a young boy's genitals
and that also brought back some memories if sucking on the tiniest cock
I've ever sucked on. I suddenly hungered for the taste of youthful skin in
my mouth and grabbed a fistful for Craig's underwear, quickly pulling his
briefs down to join his shorts.

I stopped for a second, surprised to see Craig's skin covered head. My eyes
glanced sideways at Jeff's half hard erection that was circumcised. I
lowered my head to get a closer look at the soft and vibrant skin that
covered the head of the eight year old's penis. I breathed in the scent of
the smooth boy flesh and said, "You got to keep your skin."

I grinned and saw Craig nod in response. His little stomach was moving up
and down as he breathed harder. I brought my attention back to the tiny
hood of his dick, letting my nose breathe against it briefly as I made my
way to explore lower.

I sucked in a quick breath as I saw, the spot between this boys legs that I
loved to kiss and tickle. It was the sweet spot of skin between the butt
crack and the ball sack. I took hold of the boy's undies and shorts,
pulling them all the way off to fall to the floor. I spread the two legs in
front of me and swiftly dove in to lap up the soft skin just under Craig's
balls. My tongue worked against flesh, kissing and licking like a hungry
pup. I heard an audible intake of air from Craig and I was surprised when
he opened his legs wider instead of closing his legs like Sean did. I held
both of Craig's legs in my hands, caressing his thighs while I ate out his
sweet spot. I breathed in and licked him up while I heard small moans of
pleasure and felt his little butt cheeks twitch against my chin.

My right hand found its way to the smooth skin of Craig's uncut little pee
pee. I worked my fingers against the bright youthful skin of the tiny boy
dick and saw Craig's eyes on me again.

"Do you like that?" I asked.

Craig nodded, pushing his hips upward and into my moving fingers.

"See?" I said, "This is what your brother and I do for each other. Feels
great huh?"

Craig nodded his head, starting to look like he was in a trance from the
constant stimulation from my rubbing.

"It feels good when some one else touches it." I added and rubbed his
stiffy a bit faster.

I glanced next to Craig, to see that Jeff was still covering his eyes, but
had a rock hard dick again. I wondered if he was enjoying this like I was,
but didn't want to admit it. I grabbed Craig's right hand and moved it to
hold Jeff's hard-on. With both hands, I wrapped Craig's fingers around his
big brother's dick.

"What the fuck?" Jeff asked. He lifted his head off the bed and moved his
hand to pull his little brother's hand away, but stopped suddenly.

I was guiding Craig's little hand up and down along Jeff's boner and that
seemed to be pleasure enough to pause. I let go of the guiding grip and let
Craig continue on his own. Jeff kept his hand on his brother's arm, as if
ready to remove the rubbing hand at any second. But as Craig sat up more
and picked up the speed on his rubbing, Jeff's hand fell away and he let
his brother do his work. I watched Jeff's body go from lip and reluctant to
tensing his pelvis, humping his dick into his little brother's grip.

"No." Jeff breathed suddenly. His hand gripped Craig's arm, allowing a few
more rubs, then he quickly pulled his brothers hand away. "Stop." Jeff
added.

Craig appeared scared at first but got over it when he saw his brother
continue to rub himself. The eight year old laid back on the bed and looked
to me, expectantly.

I leaned forward, parted Craig's legs and landed gentle kisses on his
smooth inner thighs. I heard the young boy sigh in pleasure as I worked my
lips toward his little treasure. I stopped kissing and rubbed his erection,
watching the foreskin move and open little by little.

"If you think this feels good," I said, "watch this." I pulled the foreskin
back more, exposing the deep red head and then ran the surface of my tongue
against it. I felt every muscle in Craig's body tense up immediately. Both
of his small hands gripped onto my hair, pulling or pushing my head with
every new sensation. I moaned and hummed against the boy's erection,
feeling rigid joy as I licked him up. With every intake of air through my
nostrils, I took in all the youthful scents that were identical to Sean's.

I reached under Craig and grabbed a silky smooth butt cheek in each hand
and then took his whole boner into my mouth. I felt Craig's torso jolt
underneath as I began sucking in hard and forcefully rubbing the texture of
my tongue against the underside of his dick.

"Oh!"  I heard Craig's little boy voice yelp. His hands grabbed a bit
tighter onto my hair and I heard him squeak out an even louder, "Oh!"

I made sure that I was sucking in with all the force possible with my
mouth. I tried to run the whole top length of my tongue along the tiny
three inch hard-on, loving the way the little guy opened his legs or tensed
them while I stimulated him. I would give his small butt cheeks a gentle
squeeze now and then as they tightened and unclenched in my hands. I could
feel the subtle rhythmic grind of Craig's petite pelvis as I sucked him
into my mouth with more vigor. My mouth opened wider, moving my tongue
further down the shaft. As I opened wider, I scooped up his soft ball sack
so that I was sucking on his entire package. My tongue gently rolled his
little nuts around and I suddenly felt his knees pull up and his thighs
lightly grip the sides of my head. I brought both hands to hold the baby
soft skin of his upper legs while I continued to tongue his genitals. I
finally let Craig's balls slide out of my mouth, then I gripped onto his
legs with both hands and began furiously working my tongue against his
little stiffy. Craig's smooth tummy moved up and down faster and faster
with every movement of my tongue and I heard more grunts and little-kid
squeaks as the little guy pushed my head down with force. His little hands
and tight thighs became a vice on my head, keeping me where it felt good
and making sure that I didn't stop. His legs twitched against me, opening
and closing his legs against my ears and at points I could feel his toes
set down and touch my upper back.

As I worked harder on the little guy's shaft, we held on to each other
tight and I continued to work my hardest while his pelvis humped a bit more
and he squirmed with almost every muscle in his little body. Craig pawed
and grabbed at my hair with more intent and I reveled at the sounds of his
panting breath. I suddenly felt the hairless crotch move forward and slap
against my face repeatedly and I knew that he was about to climax.

I heard Craig grunt out some word that I couldn't quite hear, followed by a
short whine and a squeal. He gripped tight onto my head, mashing his smooth
skin flat against my face and I could feel his little boy pee pee solidify
at the first part of his orgasm. I continued snaking my tongue against his
dick while he worked to almost suffocate me in his hold.

I could feel the base of Craig's cock contracting while the shaft went from
solid to flaccid and the repeated. The three inch, eight year old penis was
trying to pump it's baby juice into my mouth, but nothing was coming out. I
worked my tongue on Craig at a much slower pace and I saw him hunch forward
with every dry pump of his dick.

Craig's eyes met mine as he let out a labored 'Uh!' with every pump of his
dick. At that moment, I wished that the little boy could shoot something
out. I suddenly craved to be filled with whatever he wanted to put into me.
'Fill me up,' I thought.

Craig's grip was lighter on my head and his legs relaxed, laying over my
shoulders. He laid back against my bed again, but kept his eyes looking at
mine, while I gently caressed his dick, barely touching it with the tip of
my tongue. I smiled up at the boy and was happy to catch a half-smirk on
his lips.

I moved my mouth upward, landing the tiniest kisses on his stomach and
lingering at his 'innie' belly button. I felt the soft skin of his stomach
shudder in a small laugh while I kissed him. I watched the smile grow on
Craig's face while I playfully 'munched' on him.

I felt my breath huff out on the smooth skin of Craig's stomach as I let
out a giggle of my own. My eyes glanced to the side to catch Jeff's face
for a brief second and I felt a jolt of fear run through me. I stopped
kissing on Craig and turned my full attention to my friend, who was staring
at me with eyes that were narrow.

"What?" I asked.

I could feel my heart speed up and kept my eyes on Jeff while I slowly
moved out of a straddle from on top of Craig.

Jeff was getting up as well, pulling his boxers and pants up over his
wilted dick. He was shaking his head in what can only be described as
disgust. "Enjoyed that, huh?" He asked.

"Come on man," I gulped, "it was just a little fun."

Jeff's eyes stared deep into me with seething anger that was making his
face red, making me feel like a person who did bad things to kids. I didn't
believe it when it happened, but he scooted his legs around and then sent
his right foot to land on my rib cage. The force from Jeff's kick was
enough to throw me off of his little brother so that I bounced off of the
edge of the mattress and hit the floor. The thudding beat of my heart was
drumming throughout my body and my mouth suddenly went dry. I was watching
Jeff get off the bed and then tower over me, but it felt like I was
watching through some one else's eyes. It terrified me to see the
expression of anger and hate on my buddy's face as he paused and looked on
me with question. Jeff quickly moved one step closer, making me cringe a
little.

"Are you a pedophile now?" Jeff spit out at me.

I could swear that my heart was beating faster than was healthy when I
heard Jeff's accusing words. I shook my head and blurted out a 'No' that
was weak in volume.

Jeff turned to Craig, who was still on the bed and barked, "Get dressed!"

All I could do was sit on my own bedroom floor while Craig hurried to put
his clothes back on. I kept my head down under the full force of Jeff's
disgusted glare. My mind raced in slow motion, trying to come up with
something to say that would take away the overwhelming guilt and dread in
this situation. I was powerless to do anything to change the circumstance,
and I only sat and watched as Jeff and his little brother rushed to leave
the room. Before exiting, I caught one last look from Craig's scared and
confused face.

I jumped as my bedroom door was slammed shut. I could've said a number of
things before Jeff left the room but my words would be meaningless, because
I wasn't just sucking his little brother, I was enjoying it far more than I
should have. It was one thing to show the kid what it was like, but
something completely different to kiss him and initiate far more foreplay
than Jeff and I ever did.

I didn't even bother to get up off of the floor because it felt like there
was a deep pit in the center of me that was pulling me down. I was filled
with the realizing dread that I was what I feared, I was the freak that
liked to molest little boys.

I laid on the wood panels of my bedroom floor, for hours. I ignored my
mother's calls for dinner being ready and I disconnected myself from the
urge to get up and use the restroom. The only action that seemed right, was
to lay still and almost thoughtless.

The next few weeks were completely numb of emotion or anything
productive. I tried to eat like I used to, but the need for food was less
or seemed far off. I switched from no sleep to sleeping for almost fourteen
hours per day. My mom finally said something to me one day when I was in
the living room staring at the television that wasn't on. She told me that
I was depressed and that I could talk to her no matter what was going
on. It was strange to hear such caring words coming at me, but feel zero
emotion attached to them. I tried to do my best to conjure the correct
response that would make her believe that I was okay, but my words were far
from real. It would take a moderate acting scene to get my mom to believe a
lie, but I couldn't pull it off, so she signed me up to start seeing a
counselor.

I put forth enough effort to go to the first session with a man who
appeared to be caring enough to want to help. I knew that this man in a
tie, with crossed legs would pay attention to everything I had to say, but
I also knew that he would hit a panic button if he knew about what was
really going on. I rattled off a few things, like my hate for my father and
how my mom was a silent prop in the house. The man scribbled things down as
I talked until the first hour was done, but I never returned for another
visit.

The start of my sophomore school year forced me to get up and fall into an
active routine. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to interact with people
and use my brain for normal things again. My depressive state started to
fall away from everyday life and I began to see the value of my
surroundings again. I even discovered a few seniors that I couldn't take my
eyes off of. As I toweled off in the showers at the end of P.E. My dick was
getting hard like it used to and even though I dreamed about touching those
other guys, my mind always wandered to a smart kid who's boy-kisses I
longed for.

By the middle of October, I was back to functioning normal again. I still
saw Jeff around school, but he acted like we had never met. I wasn't
worried about him telling anyone what happened in my room that one day
because it would mean that others would know that he fooled around with
another guy.

When Halloween got closer, I thought about Sean more often, wondering what
costume he would wear. It occurred to me that, the boy genius might think
of trick-or-treating as too juvenile for his intellect. Whatever Sean might
think, I found my eyes watching young boys in the stores as they tried on
masks and sifted through the remaining costumes. I wondered if, by watching
them, I was doing something that the child molesters do to pick out a
victim. I wasn't lusting after the boys in the store, but deep down I knew
that I wouldn't mind a little naughty interaction. I wondered if that deep
desire would turn into something that I couldn't control.  I shivered at
the thought of needing sex with a boy like a vampire needed blood.  I
wondered if, over time, my actions would go from watching to stalking.

As Thanksgiving approached, I heard my mom talking more about a family
gathering that was being planned. My heart would leap when I listened in to
hear details and I would almost give myself a stomach ache as I hoped that
we would be visiting Aunt Trudy for Thanksgiving dinner. Without sounding
too eager, I kept asking my mother where we would spend the holiday, but
she kept saying that the aunts and uncles were still deciding. One day, my
mother had an answer for me that just about made me shit. I almost spit out
a spoonful mashed potatoes when she informed me that Thanksgiving dinner
would be at our house this year. I soaked in the rush of excitement knowing
that Aunt Trudy would be here with everyone else. My heart quickly sank as
I realized that Thanksgiving was such a big holiday, that Sean would most
likely spend it at home with his own family. I lost my appetite right away
but tried to finish my dinner. I played with my food while conjuring images
of Sean's sad face as he stared at my aunt Trudy's empty house, knowing
that they were all visiting me.

A part of me hung on to a vague hope that perhaps Sean would come running
out of my Aunt Trudy's minivan with the rest of my cousins. I didn't want
to get my hopes up too high because I knew that the possibility of this
happening was too remote.

I woke up way too early on Thanksgiving morning, and watched the sunrise
from my bedroom window as I checked my email and Facebook. I never received
a response from the one woman that I thought might be Sean's mother, but I
hoped that one day I would receive some sort of information that was
positive.

My grandparents arrived ahead of everyone else and I was delighted to hear
that they would be staying the night in a hotel instead of sleeping in my
room. My uncle David arrived with his wife who had an annoying laugh that I
could've done without hearing for a lifetime. The cars came and I watched
them all from the picture window, sitting in the same chair where Sean had
first sat. I watched for that minivan packed with people, hoping that one
would be my little Sean. The thought of getting to see my boy sooner than
next summer, was making my stomach swim.

My grandpa was sitting in the chair next to mine, watching tv, asking
random questions about school, but I stopped answering when I saw the gold
colored minivan pull up. I sat up in my seat, leaning forward, trying to
count the heads in the back seat.

My aunt Trudy stepped out of the passenger seat and began dusting her pant
legs off for whatever reason. My uncle Frank came around from the driver
side and opened the side sliding door and I saw Jared jump out first,
followed by Paul and Carl, but no Sean. I wasn't expecting Sean to show up,
but having it confirmed felt horrible.

I sat there in the living room, a little less animated about the holiday
and what was going on around me. I watched the Thanksgiving day parade on
tv but couldn't hear over all of the family chatter. Most of the guests for
the holiday dinner had arrived, but I noticed one more car pulling up and
parking across the street. I watched the two adult figures exit the car,
recognizing my uncle Max and I felt the immediate fear when I noticed that
the other adult man was my cousin Henry, the child molester. I felt like a
kid again, wanting to hide somewhere so that the approaching monster
couldn't look directly at me. I felt my blood racing through my veins and I
took a deep breath, wondering why the image of this guy still scared the
shit out of me. I watched my cousin walk in through the front door, forcing
myself to see that he was only human and that he wouldn't hurt me because I
was too old.

I watched my uncle exchange hugs with family in the room and I also
witnessed my cousin Henry avoid eye contact with people as they skipped
hugging him altogether.

Henry was slightly overweight with short brown hair and if he had been
anyone else I would have considered his facial features to be
attractive. He would only need to lose about ten pounds and he could be
very attractive if he wanted. He wore a black and turquoise DC Comics
jacket with a white button-up shirt and blue jeans. He looked like a normal
person and that's what I would think of him if I didn't know any better. As
I watched my cousin I found myself wondering exactly what he had done to
become a sex offender.

I kept my eyes on the actions of my family as they acted normal around
Henry while others reacted awkwardly around him or ignored him
completely. I wondered if this is what I would be if anyone ever knew about
my one night of passion in the trailer with Sean. I shivered at the thought
of others knowing about my love and of the accusing eyes that would watch
me.

The house smelled amazing, reminding me that I had skipped breakfast
because I was nervous and hoping that I would get to see Shawn on that
day. I was a shaky kind of hungry when I finally sat at the big table to
eat. This would be the second year in a row where I could get to sit with
the adults instead of sitting with a bunch of fighting kids.

My aunt Trudy decided to sit right next to me, talking about how happy she
was that we were Facebook buddies. I took the opportunity to butter up my
aunt, telling her that I was happy that they came for Thanksgiving and that
I wouldn't mind going out there to scout for a potential college. I jumped
when my aunt squealed with joy that I wanted to visit, it was awesome that
she was responding this way because it could give me some time with Sean if
I visited. I smiled and went along with every encouraging suggestion that
aunt Trudy gave me about the different universities and community colleges.

I was glad that dinner was served at four o'clock instead of the everyday
six thirty time, but it meant that I was ready for bed in the afternoon. If
I had been able to sleep in a bit more, my eyes wouldn't be trying to droop
shut and I could read for a bit.

After dinner, no one was paying attention to me, so I was left to try and
stay awake on the chair by the window. I gave up the fight and headed
upstairs to try for a nap in my room. At the top of the stairs, around the
corner, mom had set up a tall book shelves and two wicker chairs with a
coffee table. The shelves had a bunch of old-looking books that were
almanacs, but nothing worth reading, it was all for looks. I stopped fast
in my tracks when I saw my cousin Henry sitting in one of the chairs.

Henry put on a quick half-smile, waved quickly at me and then looked
away. I felt my heart pounding loud and I tried to say 'hello', but what
came out was strange and almost inaudible. I gripped the door knob to my
room, ready to escape inside, but something held me back. I was standing
only eight feet from the twenty six year old guy who scared me and yet he
was probably the only one who would give me a straight answer about what
happened to bring him to this point in his life.

I let go of the door knob, forcing myself to turn and face Henry. I didn't
know what to do now that I was standing there, so I stayed still for a
bit. My cousin Henry never moved a muscle while I face him. I finally took
a deep breath and walked over to where he sat. I opened my mouth to say
something but I remained silent. Instead of talking, I sat in the other
wicker chair that was at a right angle to his chair.

I heard my cousin take in a long and careful breath. "Are you sure you
should be talking to me?" He asked.

I gulped down some saliva and then shrugged my shoulders, "Sure." I said.

Henry still had his eyes on the carpet at our feet when he asked, "You want
to know why you're not supposed to talk to me. Right?"

I shrugged again, watching his reaction. "I suppose." I replied. "I always
wondered what happened."

My heart was thudding with so much force that I could swear he heard it. I
wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and then crossed my legs, trying to
appear more comfortable than I was. I gulped again, attempting to put some
moisture back into my mouth, and then asked, " You like kids. Right?"

Henry let out a shaky breath, saying, "Yeah."

"Oh." I barely said. "What did you do?" I almost stopped talking altogether
because it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my throat.

Henry didn't answer the question for what seemed like forever. Finally my
cousin said, "Do I look like a bad guy to you?"

My eyes immediately darted to meet my cousin's stare, then I quickly looked
away. I processed the question in my head and really thought it over. "No."
I replied.

I heard a light chuckle come from my cousin. "You wouldn't think twice
about me if you didn't know me, and you would think I'm a nice guy?"

I looked at my cousin Henry again, this time really seeing his eyes. I
shrugged, "Sure."

I heard a long sigh come from my cousin and then he was silent for a
bit. "I really am a nice person, James." He said, sitting up a bit more in
his seat. "I have never done a single thing to hurt anyone."

I was trying to assess if he was being truthful. He really did look like a
nice person who wouldn't hurt anyone. My first instinct was to believe him
because it felt like he was being honest, but there was still the doubt
from all of those times that I was told to stay away from him.

"Have you ever met your Mom's cousin Gayle?" Henry asked.

I recalled meeting my Mom's young cousin at a family reunion a few years
ago. Gayle was a very bubbly girl that was just out of high school that all
of the other male family would've loved to have a thing with because she
had big tits. She annoyed the shit out of me and I was glad that she didn't
live anywhere close by.

"Ya," I replied, "I remember her."

"Have you seen her new boyfriend?" Henry asked, with a slight smile on his
face.

I shook my head, wondering where my cousin was going with this
conversation.

"Gayle," Henry continued, "Is currently in a relationship with a forty year
old man."

It struck me as odd that a girl so young would be dating some one who could
be her father's age but it was nothing crazy. Henry seemed to be waiting
for a bigger reaction from me or something.

"Nothing wrong with their relationship. Correct?" Henry asked.

I shrugged my shoulders again, keeping my waiting eyes on him.

"Cousin Gayle has a condition where she likes older guys." Henry
explained. He paused for a few seconds, watching my reaction. Then he
lowered his voice and said, "I have a condition that goes in the opposite
direction."

I had never heard of a pedophile described in such a logical way before and
it made Henry's kind eyes seem more real.

"You like guys fifteen years younger." I said, more for myself than for
Henry.

I saw the edges of my cousin's mouth turn up slightly. Henry glanced down
the hallway and then looked back to me. "I used to have a younger friend,"
Henry said, in a whisper, "who was about thirteen years old."

Henry inhaled deep and then let it out slowly before he continued, "My
friend and I would spend hours everyday, building model airplanes
together. I was eighteen at the time, so it was a little odd for a man of
my age to spend so much time with some one so young, but his mom liked how
happy her son was when we were together."

I put my hands together on my lap and squeezed tightly as I braced myself
for the frightening details. I wondered how bad Henry, the vampire, needed
his fix when he got in trouble. At that moment, I wasn't sure if I was
willing to actually hear the full story of what got Henry in trouble.

"Sam was the boy's name, and we were on his porch." Henry continued, "We
were working on a different kind of model that was huge. I sat on a bench
at the picnic table right next to him and he would lean into me and enjoy
being close."

Henry looked down the hallway again and then back to me. I could understand
why he was being so careful because where we were sitting, was sort of a
'loft' that looked like it was walled in because of the bookcase. If you
talked loud enough, people could hear you in all kinds of different spots
downstairs.

"And on this particular day," Henry said, "Sam was asking various questions
about kissing. He was curious what it felt like and wanted to know what
french kissing was. I did my best to explain everything in as much detail
as possible, but he asked me to show him what it was like."

My cousin paused, watching me carefully. I couldn't hide my fidgeting hands
and I had to look away. I couldn't stop the flash of memories from the
night that I received boy-kisses from Sean. I adjusted my position in my
seat, and waited for Henry to continue.

"So I leaned in and kissed him." Henry said. "It was just a tiny peck on
his lips, but then he scooted closer and put his lips to mine again."

Listening to my cousin Henry stirred vivid memories of Sean learning to
kiss like an adult. I clearly remembered the sweet cotton candy flavored
kisses as I sucked on Sean's tongue, which was smaller than my own. I felt
my dick stir a little as I recalled Sean's youthful grunts and moans as we
locked mouths. I was glad that my legs were crossed so that I couldn't
reveal the fact that I might be the same sort of predator that he was.

Henry moved in his seat slightly and then said, "Sorry if what I'm saying
is making you uncomfortable, but you wanted to know." He cleared his throat
and then continued, "Kissing Sam, was amazing. I loved that boy and I never
asked him to do anything like that before. I was honored that he wanted his
first kiss to be with me and I was turned on as well."

Henry's posture suddenly went into a slouch and the smile was gone from his
face. He paused, seeming to need a moment before proceeding with his story.

Finally Henry was able to look at me again, but his words were shaky, "I
was letting Sam kiss as much as he wanted, not only because it felt
amazing, but it was completely his decision. We kissed for a while and I
loved holding his cheeks while I let him love on me. But then things went
bad."

I couldn't hide the quick gasp of air as I watched and waited for my cousin
to begin telling the horrid details of how he gave into his need for the
boy.

Henry's sad eyes looked at the floor as he continued, "That's when Sam's
mother came onto the porch and freaked out. She started screaming at me,
telling me to get away from her son. I stopped kissing Sam immediately and
stood up, trying to get away from this woman who was shouting that she
would call the cops on me. It all happened so fast, but when I stood up,
that's when the mother got a full view of the boner that made a tent in my
shorts. She went completely ape shit and started screaming things that I
didn't sound like English."

I noticed that Henry's hands were shaking a little and he was licking his
lips like his mouth was dry, but he continued anyway.

"I didn't even touch him." Henry said, "All I did was kiss the boy and that
was it for me."

"That was all?" I said, in disbelief, "Nothing else happened?"

Henry shook his head slowly, while staring at his shoes, "Nothing else
happened."

My eyes were wide and my mouth dropped open. I was sure that there must be
something more to the story that I didn't know about because you don't
become known as a child molester from kissing a boy.

"I never went to jail or anything," Henry said, "because I didn't do
anything wrong and they couldn't make Sam admit that I touched him, because
that never happened. I'm not a registered sex offender like uncle Jack
tells everyone and I've never been in trouble for molesting a child."

I stared at Henry, trying to understand how he became a monster in
everyone's eyes if he never actually did anything to gain the title.

Henry seemed to hear my thoughts and answered, "Sam's mother was outraged
by me. She did enough 'word of mouth' damage to ruin me for life. Everyone
knows to keep their kids away from me."

I'm sure that my face was becoming red. I balled my hands into tight fists,
saying, "That's bullshit!" My words came out louder than I had expected and
we both went silent, listening to hear if anyone was coming up the stairs
to see what was wrong. No one came.

We stayed silent for a while and I watched my cousin's sad eyes that looked
hopeless. I felt horrible for all of the 'Keep Away' games that I played,
where he was the monster. My irrational fear of him meant that I fed into
the negative shroud that had been placed on Henry by the woman who hated
him so much. I could see myself in his shoes, being screamed at for getting
caught doing things with Sean.

"Why don't you tell everyone what really happened?" I asked.

"I did." Henry shrugged, "Kissing a boy is just as bad as rape."

I sat back in the chair, feeling a sick wave turning my stomach. I felt
sorrow for some one who was getting labeled as a predator when I had done
so much more with Sean than just kissing.

Henry's eyes were on me, studying my face. "Thanks for understanding."

"No problem." I replied, "I wish others could understand too."

I had more questions to ask, but kept silent as I figured out the right way
to say them. Finally I felt right about the phrasing of a question.

"Have you been able to," I paused to gulp down some saliva, "to be with
some one you love?"

Henry shook his head, "No."

I could tell that there is more information that went with his answer, but
he stopped himself before saying it.

"Oh." I said, trying to make it sound casual. "How do you...get by without
being around kids?"

My cousin leaned back in his chair, looking at me with a face that turned
white. "I...ummm," he shrugged and licked his lips, "I use my imagination."

I nodded, formulating the next question. "What about..." I couldn't look
him in the eyes, "What ages do you like?"

Henry's eyes were hesitant and careful now. "Why all of the questions?" His
eyes glanced down the hall again. "What's going on?"

My heart was thumping loudly in my hears as the pace picked up on my blood
flow. All moisture was gone from my mouth and it felt like I was watching
the whole question and answer session on a distant movie screen.

"I'm trying to..." My voice caught in my throat but I tried to keep
going. My speech went from shaky to choking the words out, "Trying
to...figure out...if I'm a...I'm a...a...."

Henry's eyes grew wide as he figured out what I was trying to say. He
leaned forward and quickly shushed me. We were both breathing rapidly and
sharing a panicked stare.

"You're serious?" My cousin asked in an almost inaudible whisper.

I felt Henry's hand grip tight onto mine. It was odd to go from being
afraid of him, to feeling comforted by his presence. I gripped his hand in
return, keeping my scared eyes on his. I nodded my head in response to his
question.

Henry patted my wrist with his other hand and let out a shaky breath. "Be
very quiet about that." He whispered, "Especially around them." He pointed
to at the floor, meaning the entire family downstairs.

I nodded and mouthed the word, 'okay'.

Henry looked nervously down the hall and then he appeared to be figuring
something out. It was clear that he didn't want to continue the discussion
where we were at. I tried to talk as quietly as I could, "My room?" I
suggested.

Henry gave a quick nod and we both walked to my bedroom door with light
feet. When we were both inside my room, I slid the bolt closed as carefully
as I could. We both sighed when the door was locked and I moved to sit on
my bed and Henry sat there too, but kept his distance.

"Okay," Henry said quietly," Why do you think you're a ped...." He stopped
in the middle of the word, like it might sting.

I breathed deep a few times and then said, "I love a boy."

Henry's eyes were wide again and his breathing wasn't quite back to
normal. He appeared surprised, scared and delighted all at once.

"How old?" Henry asked.

"Nine years old." I answered.

My cousin appeared to stop breathing for a second and then let out a long
breath, saying, "Wow." He shook his head, in thought, "That's amazing. Is
this new?"

"Last fourth of July." I answered. "He's not like any other boy I've
met. He's smarter and I think that's partly why I fell for him. He also
looked so...alone and I needed to make it better."

I saw a wide smile grow on my cousin's face and I realized that it was the
only time I had seen him smile like that, ever.

"It feels so good to finally tell some one." I sighed.

"I bet it does." Henry laughed. "So are you pursuing a relationship with
him?"

"I'm trying to." I replied, "But he lives so far away. He came up with Aunt
Trudy."

"Are you talking about Sean?" Henry asked.

I could swear my heart skipped a beat when he said Sean's name. Part of me
was defensive because I didn't want him to say that he had a fling with
Sean too. Another part of me was glad that he knew the boy that I was
talking about.

"Don't worry," Henry said, answering my thoughts, "I've never had the
opportunity to even talk to him. But I do see him a lot when I go to Aunt
Trudy's house."

I let loose a clear sigh of relief and smiled a little. "That little guy is
in all of my thoughts since I met him."

"He's quite a catch." Henry said, "But why try to have an ongoing
relationship with a nine year old who lives so far away?"

I thought about his question before answering. I couldn't formulate an
answer that made sense, since the whole ordeal was senseless. "I love him,"
was all I could say.

"I see." Henry said, "Have you had feelings for younger boys, before Sean?"

I shook my head, "No, he's the first." The image of Craig's little body
popped into my head and I added, "But there was this one kid that I did
some stuff with. I think I messed around with him because he reminded me of
Sean."

Henry listened patiently while I told him about how I orally pleased
Craig. He sat and considered everything and finally said, "The definition
of a pedophile is: some one who is sexually attracted to prepubescent boys
or girls, but it sounds like that's not what you are by nature."

I scooted myself closer on the bed, eagerly listening to my cousin's
interpretation of what I am.

"It sounds like," Henry continued, "you are attracted to one young boy and
are drawn to the things that remind you of him. You could have sexual
relations with all sorts of little boys, but probably wouldn't fall in love
with them because, they simply aren't Sean."

I let out a long sigh of relief, feeling better that I wasn't what I
feared. I immediately felt additional guilt because my cousin was what I
didn't want to be. My situation seemed easier to handle when put up against
my cousin, who had no other choice in life.

"I wish we could've talked like this years ago." I said.

Henry shook his head, "The only way you could understand me and be
comfortable with me, is if you've been in my shoes. A few years ago, it
would have been impossible for you to not be afraid of me. You were like
the rest of the family."

"So," I said, "have you been able to be with a boy...at all? Even with
everything that happened with that lady?"

Henry averted his eyes quickly, shaking his head.

"I'm curious," I said, carefully watching my cousin's response, "What do
you like about boys?"

He still had his eyes pointed at the ground, "You mean, what turns me on
about them?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"Well," He inhaled deep and took a few seconds to reply. "I love the way
boys have smooth baby skin." He quickly looked at me, examining my
expression while he talked, "I love their little button noses and their
little bubble butts." He paused for a couple seconds, calming his
breathing, "I love how their silky smooth necks feel on my lips. He stopped
again, briefly, breathing heavy now. Henry glanced at the door quickly and
then looked back at me with excitement in his eyes. "I love what their tiny
hips look like when they're humping and I like it when they lose control
when they cum."

I wore a surprised smile on my lips. "Wow." I breathed, "But I thought you
haven't been with a boy?"

"I have memories from when I was twelve." Henry answered. "I messed around
with a lot of my friends...and their little brothers." He seemed to calm
down slightly. Eyes fixed on the floor, he said "It's been so long."

"So," I said, "As long as the boy has baby skin, you like them? Or are
there ages that you go by?"

Henry sighed and then answered, "I like boys around seven years old to a
little over thirteen years, but I could go higher or lower. It depends on
the kid."

"Wow." I exhaled, "So, I'm in your age range?"

He wouldn't look at me when he nodded 'yes'.

I sat up a little more, telling him, "It doesn't make me uncomfortable. I'm
just trying to understand what you like." I waited a few moments before I
asked, "Do I still have some young skin?"

My cousin's eyes darted around to different parts of my body. Finally,
Henry nodded 'yes'.  I saw movement and my eyes quickly went to the hardon
that was developing in his blue jeans.

I smiled and asked him, "Where is my skin that you like?"

Henry's breathing picked up again and he was contemplating whether he
should answer or not. Finally Henry seemed excited to give an answer, "Your
neck looks silky soft."

I ran the tips of my fingers along the skin of my neck, trying to feel for
the 'baby skin' that my cousin liked so much. "Where else?" I asked.

Henry's breathing was uneven and he swallowed before he spoke, "The insides
of your forearms, and I bet your thighs are soft like a toddler. I bet your
stomach is still like a little kid's stomach."

I jumped when my cousin Henry suddenly stood, bent at the crotch to hide
his boner. He walked to my bedroom door, which was only feet away, and
stopped.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

He faced my door, going through efforts to calm his breathing. "I can't get
caught with you in here. I'll go to jail."

"No one knows you're in here." I replied. I got up and walked to stand next
to him by the door. I put a hand on his shoulder and said, "You said its
been a while. Let me be your little boy."

Henry sucked in a quick breathe and he turned to me, holding back. I took
his right hand and placing it on my neck, asking him, "Is it soft?"

I listened to Henry's shaky breath as his fingers gently caressed my
neck. "Yes." My cousin sighed.

I stepped closer to Henry, inhaling the scent of his cologne. The warmth of
my cousin's body, was radiating and I could feel his stiff dick touch my
leg. I tilted my neck to the side and raised myself up on my tiptoes so
that my neck pressed against his mouth. My arms hugged around Henry's neck
and I felt him give in, pressing his nostrils to my throat. I felt his arms
embrace my waist, mashing his boner against me. Henry's open lips kissed
and sniffed against my neck, making sounds like a hungry man eating on food
at last. I couldn't help but feel like the 'vampire' was feeding on his
prey, but this prey was a willing catch.

I clenched my butt cheeks when I felt cousin Henry's hands squeeze them. I
heard his muffled frenzy against my skin when he asked if it was okay.

"Yes." I said, as his tongue tasted the crook of my neck. "Do anything you
want with me."

My permission seemed to give more energy to my cousin because his kissing
picked up and his moaning became slightly louder in volume. I could feel
Henry's erection grinding against my leg while his hands grabbed at my
butt. I made myself limp in his hold and I hoped that I was young enough
for him to feel like he was loving on a little boy.

"I've imagined this." Henry grunted along my neck. "Touching you."

"Tell me." I moaned. "It's okay, you can be yourself with me. I'm your
little kid."

Henry's humping picked up speed on my leg and I felt both of his hands grab
my pants, pulling them down along with my boxers. His hands were gentle and
shaky when they felt up my exposed butt.

"You're so soft, James!" Henry groaned into my ear. "Your butt is so
fucking soft!"

"Good," I whispered into his ear, "But pace yourself. Go slow and make it
last."

I reached my hand between us to grab what felt like a hard six inch cock
that belonged to my cousin. I massaged my cousin's erection gently, feeling
him slow down the pace of his thrusts.

My rubbing slowed Henry down to almost a stand still. I whispered to him,
"See if there are any other other soft parts on me." I felt him shudder
slightly against me and then pull away, staring at me with eager eyes.

I stopped rubbing Henry's dick and stood there with my hands at my side. My
pants and boxers were down to my knees but my long t-shirt covered my dick
and balls. Even though my shirt covered a lot, I could see the tip of my
dick poking at my shirt and creating a wet dot of precum. I felt a hot jolt
rush through me as I watched my cousin shiver with excitement as he stared
at me. I was getting so hot just knowing that I was turning him on.

Henry dropped to his knees in front of me and he pushed his face into my
shirt, letting out a nervous laugh when his chin touched my hard-on. He
ducked his head and I saw his head disappear under my shirt. I felt my
cousin's nose breath against my pubic hair while his lips rushed to kiss my
hardon repeatedly.

"Oh god!" Henry groaned against my balls. "Even with your pubes, your skin
is so young!" I felt his lips suck against my skin, all the way up to my
belly button. It was my turn to shiver when Henry, snaked his mouth against
my stomach. I felt his hands grab and rub at my butt again.

"I wanna see your butt." Henry demanded, guiding my hips to turn me.

As I faced away from Henry, lifting my shirt to show my whole back end and
I heard him slowly let out a shaky sigh and say, "Dude. Your butt is a
perfect boy bubble butt!"

I couldn't help but jump when I felt him lunge forward to press his face
between my cheeks. My hand found my dick as I was stimulated in my back end
by muffled moans and a wet tongue. Henry was trying to say things as he
explored my ass with his face. The only thing that I could comprehend was
when Henry said, "....soft, like silk."

I tried to steady myself against Henry's face, that tried to push further
into me, but I kept getting pushed until I was bent over my bed. I released
the grip on my dick to brace myself on the bed so that I could put all of
my attention on what was being done to me. It felt like a hungry animal
lapping up every inch of my crack and I loved it.

Henry suddenly went silent and removed his face from my butt. I stood up
straight and turned to see what was going on. Henry was sitting back on his
feet and panting while looking at the floor.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He took in a few deep breaths before responding, "I'm trying to stop myself
from cumming."

I was loving this kind of attention from another guy, even if it was my
cousin. The situation was turning me on even more knowing that, just the
feel and taste of me, was going to make this guy cum. I faced my cousin and
then fell back onto my bed. I began stroking my dick while I waited for
Henry to calm down. It took a few minutes for my cousin to be calmed enough
to look at me again. I heard a groan when he saw my new position on the
bed.

I smiled at Henry, who had his pants pulled to his knees now. I bent my
legs upward, bringing my knees to my chest and said, "More please."

Henry let out a gasp and then he was kissing my balls and crack again. "Oh
god yes!" He groaned while kissing my skin. "Just like a little kid! I love
your butt, James! You have no idea!"

"How young do I feel, to you?" I moaned, gripping my knees to pull my legs
further apart.

Henry stopped the muffled grunts into my butt to reply, "You're like a
little eleven year old boy." He said, in a labored breath.

My cousin's hands gripped firmly onto my waist, pulling me hard against his
mouth. I felt Henry's rabid, probing tongue search its way far into my
anus. I normally didn't like ass play as much, but this was hitting all the
right spots. He held me tight and stimulated me with such lust, that I
could only spread my legs and let him have control of me.

I felt Henry pull away from me again and saw him hunched forward,
shuddering and taking slower and controlled breathes. He was trying to
avoid an orgasm again.

"You really like me that much?" I huffed.

Henry nodded a 'yes' at the floor.

My hands grabbed at my cheeks to pull them further apart. "Fuck me." I
said.

"Are you serious?" Henry squeaked out at me. His eyes were wide and
hopeful.

I nodded, knowing that the request was driven more by lust than comfort. I
had messed around with butt fucking before but each time was unpleasant
because of how forceful the guy was. I started using makeshift dildo's from
food to household items and that felt better, but only because I had
control of the item. I looked at my cousin's lustful eyes and suddenly felt
like it would be okay if he went full in and raped my butt because he loved
it so much.

"Do it!" I demanded.

I took out the bottle of baby oil from my bed side table and applied it to
my butt. I gave a comforting smile to my cousin, who was shaking out of
nervous excitement and trying not to blow his load on the floor.

I rubbed two of my fingers into my butt, going in as far as I could. When I
thought I was ready, I pulled my hand away and watched my cousin fumble his
dick toward me. He got in close to me and even though his attention was on
his dick, I looked at his face, only inches away.

"I'm so glad I stopped to talk to you." I said.

Henry looked into my eyes and said, "Me too." I felt the head of his cut
dick push against me and I tried to pull his waist into me, telling him he
could go in more.

I moaned, moving my right hand to hold the back of Henry's neck, bringing
his face close. "Does that feel good against my soft skin?" I whispered.

"Fuck yeah!" Henry groaned, breathing unevenly. "I have to go super slow,"
He said, "or I'll blow inside you right now."

Every quarter inch that his dick pushed in, hurt like fucking crazy. I knew
that this type of sex was going to be like getting stuffed with a pole, but
I knew that I was fulfilling the wish of some one who had gotten a bad rap
for so many years. I could take the pain because Henry was worth it.

Henry's left hand caressed my neck while he humped small thrusts into me. I
tired not to tense up against him, to allow his dick to go in further. I
pulled Henry's other hand to touch the other side of my neck and soon he
was holding my face in his hands.

"This feels amazing, James." Henry moaned.

"Felling good here too." I breathed.

The head of Henry's dick was all the way inside of me but he would stop
every few seconds and tell me to not move. He said that he was right on the
edge, ready to cum and any movement could trigger it. I would remain as
still as a statue while we waited for the edge of his orgasm to fade. Our
faces were inches apart and the close whispers were turning me on.

"You can go fast when you're gonna cum, if you want." I said, feeling
Henry's dick pick up the pace inside of me.

Our eyes were locked on each other while Henry began to really fuck me. We
both wore expressions of pain and pleasure and were sharing a nonverbal
communication that Sean loved so much. With every thrust, Henry's dick was
slipping all the way inside of me.

I held Henry's neck tighter as began slamming his hardon into me. Henry
leaned into me, growling out moans that he was trying to keep quiet. With
each forceful shove into me, he stimulated me, making it feel
incredible. Along with the pain, came the stimulation of my prostate and it
was like I was being jacked off from the inside.

"Harder!" I moaned into my cousin's ear.

"Oh my god!" Henry growled as he began to rabbit fuck me, "You're so hot,
James!"

"I can't hold it anymore." Henry whispered against my ear, "Gonna cum."

I wrapped my legs around my cousin's humping ass, and groaned into his ear,
"Don't pull out." I wrapped both of my arms around Henry, holding him
tight.

Henry whined urgent whimpers into my ear as he hammered his dick into
me. At once, I felt his back arch and all of his muscles tensed, turning
him into a shaking statue in my embrace. Henry's whole rigid body moved to
try to push his manhood farther into me than was possible and it felt
amazing. I hugged my cousin's convulsing body against me, caressing the
strained muscles on his back. I could feel Henry pumping and contracting
against me. His humping dick slid in and out of me a bit slower and he
began gently sucking on my neck as his orgasm calmed.

"Fuck man." Henry breathed, "That was the most powerful cum that I've ever
had." He nibbled on my ear a bit, while barely moving inside me.

"Don't pull out." I asked, quietly.

"Why?" Henry asked, while sucking on my neck again.

"It feels so good now." I replied. "Keep humping me."

Henry let out a tired laugh, saying, "I don't think that's possible, at
this point."

"C'mon," I pleaded, "I was almost there, but then you stopped." I felt more
sucking kisses on my neck, but didn't get a real response. "I bet you'd do
it if I was younger." I added.

Henry stopped kissing me and pressed his nose into my cheek. He moaned with
every slight move of his dick. "You are much younger than you think." He
said, through gritted teeth. I felt his dick pull out half way and them
slam back into me, giving me the jolt of pleasure that I craved.

I grabbed onto the back of my cousin's shirt, holding on tight. He wasn't
rabbit fucking me, but his speed picked up, little by little.

"I'm almost there." I breathed, "a bit more."

"You're my little boy." Henry labored to say.

"All yours, right now." I said, between breaths.

My moans were uncontrollable as my body electrified in the first wave of my
orgasm. I tried to steady my body against Henry's humping dick, which was
moving much faster again. My whole body seemed to contract in a warm and
intense convulsion.

"I'm cumming." I said, with a grunt into my cousin's ear. I felt the got
jets of cum begin to shoot out of my dick, which was flopping around from
my cousins thrusts. I growled and hummed while squeezing bunches of my
cousin's shirt in both of my hands. I asked for it, and every slam of that
erection, sent more waves of electric pleasure through me.

"Oh fuck!" Henry moaned, "I'm cumming again."

Henry's body tensed up against me one more time. He moved both of his arms
under my back, holding onto my shoulders and pulling my entire body against
his dick, with as much force as possible. It hurt me, but it felt awesome
while I squirted my stuff all over our chests.

Henry was forced to pull his dick all the way out of me, for the simple
fact that I could'nt hold anymore cum inside of me. Henry laid his head on
my chest and breathed hard against my skin as his body shook with the last
spasms of his second orgasm.

We were both breathing hard and laying limp while we caught our breath and
let our muscles relax again, when we heard the sound of footsteps in the
hallway. Henry raised himself of his elbows and looked at me, wide eyed and
scared.

I placed my index finger to my lips, telling him to be quiet. He nodded and
then we both listened while I wondered if we may have made too much noise
on my bed. My mom's voice was heard, saying something that I couldn't make
out, followed by my aunt Trudy's unmistakable cheery tone. I smiled at
Henry, knowing that if aunt Trudy was happy, then they weren't looking for
us.

Henry and I stared at each other while we remained completely silent. My
mom and aunt talked about everyday stuff while I communicated wordlessly
with my cousin, who turned out to be a good kind of monster. He was my kind
of monster.

The voices in the hallway were coming closer and I could hear my mom
talking about possibly painting the stair railing a different color. We
listened while Henry traced his fingers along my nose, moving to my lips
and finally caressing my chin. I saw a wide grin form across Henry's face
and noticed his bottom lip quiver. A redness flushed my cousin's face and I
saw the moisture fill his eyes.

I cupped my hands against Henry's cheeks, showing him a perplexed
expression.

He waited for my mom and aunt's footsteps to completely disappear down the
stairs before saying anything. He shook his head and smiled as I wiped one
of his tears with my thumb.

"It's been so long," Henry said with a shaky voice, "since I've felt as
happy as I am right now."

I smiled again, feeling moisture meet my eyes as well. Henry kissed on me a
bit more and then we both got up to get dressed again.

When Henry was done zipping his pants back up, he sat at my computer chair
and asked, "When was the last time you spoke to Sean?" He asked.

"July fifth." I answered, wiping the pool of cum off of my cover.

"What the heck?" Henry asked, looking confused, "Why aren't you two
emailing pics and doing naked webcam sessions?"

I shrugged, wiping at the stain more than was needed. "I guess we both felt
like we had more time. I thought that we would at least get another moment
to talk. We could've exchanged emails or something, but he left so quickly
and there was nothing we could do."  Henry traced his fingers along the
creases in his jeans. "That's like a curse on people who like boys." He
said, "The parents are in control of everything that the boy does. They
think they are doing what's best for their child, but that one mother
turned a sweet kiss for my boy, into something scary and confusing. How is
that 'best' for that kid?"

I wadded up the tissue that I was using to clean the bed cover and threw it
into the small trash can by my desk. I shook my head, responding to Henry,
"It's not right, but before I met Sean, I used to think like that. If I
heard your situation a year ago, I would have thought the mother was right
to freak out." I let out a long sigh, adding, "but only because that's how
my parents raised me to think."

Henry slowly nodded his head, "Each generation screws up the next...."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I watched my cousin's eyes examine
the floor while he thought things over. I broke the long quiet, asking,
"Will you keep a eye on Sean for me?"

"Sure." Henry said, "As much as I can, from a distance. Anything in
particular that you'd like me to watch for?"

I got up from my bed and fished a pen and paper from my desk drawer. I
scribbled my email address on the paper, handing it to Henry. "Make sure he
doesn't move out of town."

My cousin looked from the paper to me, showing me a confused face. "Not
sure I can do anything about that."

"No," I said, "but you can let me know if something like that
happens. That's what I've been so worried about. I'm scared that next
summer will come and I'll learn that he moved away, and I'll never see him
again."

"Okay." Henry said, slipping the email carefully into his pocket. He took
the pen from my hands and jotted down his own email onto the notepad next
to my keyboard.

"You know," Henry said, looking at me thoughtfully, "If you weren't so into
this boy, I would ask you to wait a couple of years so we could be
together."

I did a double take at my cousin, surprised at his statement. My fingers
tapped on the letters of his email address, while I considered the
closeness and the awesome sex that we just had. It was possible to love
this man, even though he was my cousin. However, there was a deeper love
that shined for me.

"If I had never met that boy," I replied, with a kind smile, "I would
probably still be afraid of you."

"I'm sorry." Henry said, getting up from his seat. He stepped toward me and
put a hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to offend you. I know you love
that boy."

I let out a long sigh. "It's okay." I said, setting a hand of my own on
Henry's shoulder. I stepped closer and pressed my neck to my cousin's lips
again. Henry gently kissed me while holding my head to a tilt. "It would be
pointless to fall for me," I breathed, "since I'll be out of your age range
soon."

Henry kissed on my neck for a bit longer. Things began to heat up again and
he stopped himself abruptly and made his way to my door. I watched my
cousin pause before unlocking the slide bolt and quietly opening the
door. Before walking out of my room, he whispered across the six feet
between us, "Thank you."

I smiled in response, feeling the heat in my face and the water in my
eyes. I watched my door close quietly and then sat at my computer. I
entered my cousin's email address into my contact list, then clicked on the
button to compose a new email. My email to my cousin was only two words
long 'You're welcome'.

After about thirty minutes I returned to sit by the window downstairs. I
hoped to strike up a conversation with Henry, to show the rest of the
family that he was human and that I approved of him. Henry avoided eye
contact with me in the crowded room, and discretely waved me off when I
tried to get close to him.

It was frustrating being on the other side of the fence now. I grew more
and more aggravated as I watched our family make it obvious that they were
keeping their distance from Henry. My face was getting hot again and my
hands were in tight fists as I tried to figure out how I could fix this
situation that was so wrong. I wanted to yell at them all and tell my aunts
and uncles that if they didn't love Henry, then they couldn't love me.

I was in an angered huff, when I caught the kind and comforting smile on
Henry's face. My cousin held my eyes with his unexpected calm. I felt my
breathing slow, when I saw him mouth the words, 'It's okay.'

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes at him. However, Henry's energy didn't
match my own and his smile turned into a silent laugh. His smile grew wider
as he repeated his silent words telling me that everything was okay. I
didn't return the smile, but it was enough to keep me from freaking out on
everyone around me.

When my cousin left, I found that I missed him a lot. I couldn't help but
feel like I had formed another close bond with some one that no one could
know about. I wondered why the clandestine bonds seemed to be the closest
to my heart.  Henry and I sent a few emails back and forth, finding that we
liked a few of the same comic books. One day I received an email from my
cousin that read,

James, Your boy's full name is Sean Patrick Hampton.  I got the chance to
chat briefly with him. He says to tell you that he is still 'the
ground'. Do you know what that means?

My pulse picked up and I felt my hand shake on the mouse as I read the
words over and over. After months of being blind and having to hope that I
would see Sean again, it felt like a miracle and a relief to get some sort
of contact from him. I felt a large knot in my throat as I recalled Sean's
little bit of poetry that described our love, 'If you are the rain, then
I'll be the ground to receive you.' He was telling me that he was still
waiting for me, like he promised.

There was a last part of my cousin's message that talked about a video that
might interest me. I clicked on the youtube link and my heart jumped when I
saw Sean's face on my computer screen. The title to the video was 'Boston
Stratagem 2009 -- Hampton Win'. The video was a year old, showing an eight
year old Sean, with much shorter hair. My boy was sitting at a computer
screen, wearing a headset that he spoke words into that I couldn't
hear. There were several other teenage boys standing behind Sean, some
looked frustrated or impatient while others watched the screen in front of
Sean without blinking.

I stared at my monitor with my mouth open, amazed that I was able to see
the boy that I loved. I watched Sean pinch the microphone of his headset
with his thumb and forefinger, holding it closer to his mouth. He looked
too young to be as serious as he appeared, but it was amazing seeing him
after so many months without even a photograph.

The young Sean scrunched his eyebrows together, speaking adamantly into the
microphone. I watched the wide eyes of the older boys that surrounded Sean,
and they moved in closer with intense expressions. One boy, who looked like
he was sixteen, straightened up and began to shout a cheer into the
air. The other boys who were close by, followed the sixteen year old, and
everyone in the shot was cheering and clapping Sean on the back. Flashes
from various unseen cameras, flickered on the screen and tears of joy
filled my eyes as I smiled at my boy's victory. When the camera zoomed in
on Sean's beaming face, I paused the video, touching the pixels that made
up his face.

I was definitely still the 'rain' if he was the 'ground'. I would do
whatever it took to make sure that I could hold my boy and kiss him again.

-End Part Two. Part three is on its way!

Please send me comments! I want to know what you liked or disliked!
paramoe1954@hushmail.com***

***My other stories,
Kissing Along His Neck -- Posted 9-11-10 (gay/young-friends)
Sweet Spot  (gay/young -friends) Part three is on its way soon!
Don't Do That  Parts 1 & 2(gay/incest)
Brother's Touch -- Posted 11-8-10 (gay/incest)
The Right Formula -- Posted 11-16-10 (gay/sf-fantasy)
A Caring Heart -- Posted 1-10-11 (gay/sf-fantasy)

(For a complete list, I am listed as Paramoe in the prolific authors roster
on Nifty)***