Date: Sat, 31 Dec 2016 22:24:15 -0600
From: Kurt King <kingkurt1339@gmail.com>
Subject: The New Life of Xander King Chapter 5

	This story contains sexual acts between males below the age of
consent/age of majority (minors), if this offends you or is illegal for you
to read where you're at, please close this website and go elsewhere.

	This story is fictional and entirely the work of the author's
imagination. And resemblance to persons, places, or things, real or
fictional, are entirely coincidental, and any views stated do not
necessarily reflect those of any companies or organizations which do exist
in real life, nor necessarily reflect the views of the author.

	This story is the property and copyright of the author, do not
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	As always - donate to Nifty to keep the archive running!

	Thanks for all the feedback! A little note to respond to some
questions I was asked will follow after the chapter!

	In Chapter 4, Xander gave everyone a heart attack when he
accidentally fell asleep with his journals, after retrieving Trenton from
the orphanage, showing that he's starting to feel like he'll be fine with
his teddy at the new home. He also receives a cell phone, though he's
tricked into thinking that he paid for it, and some ground rules are set
for whenever he leaves.

	Anyway, on to the story!

~~Chapter Five - Journals~~

[Finn]

	Xander's been good about letting Aunt Linda or Uncle Trey know when
he's leaving and where he's going. If he's gone longer than he originally
thought, he contacts them. It's all by text, he's never once spoken to let
them know, just shoots a text and leaves. It annoys them, but it does
prevent any more panicking. I'm worried that it's going to drive him to run
away.

	Today, I noticed that his run bag is on the move when he left. How
did I know that? I happened to check for the GPS I planted in it, just to
see if it's moved from where he keeps it, and I found it at the park, but
it's nowhere near any of the trails. He must be at wherever he was when he
fell asleep.

	After a few hours, I check again, and the bag's on the nearest
trail, making its way to the end of the trail. He's finally left. I'm at
the park, and watch as he leaves the trail. Doesn't look sleepy, so he was
probably doing something with his journals.

	Once he's gone and a decent way away from the park, I start off on
the trail, breaking off where I think I can get to where he was, and follow
the spot I marked on the map on my phone until I get there. I look around,
and can't find his journals.

	It takes me twenty minutes of searching to find where he buries
them. I must have passed over it at least a dozen times, and didn't notice
it. Everything here is hard-packed dirt, not covered in grass, like people
think woods are. When he buries it, it looks like he packs the dirt back
down, then roughs it up just enough to make it look like the rest of the
area. I only find where he buries them because the pattern is just a little
different from everywhere else.

	I pull off my own bag and pull out the gardening spade. I went
through his backpack one day when he was taking a shower, and found that he
had a spade of his own, and spotted all his keys, too. It's been a few
weeks since his disappearing act, and this is the first time I've found
where he keeps his journals.

	After a few minutes, and damn does he keep it deep, I dig up the
box. It's got a lock on it as well, but I made copies of all of his keys,
including the one that looked like it was for a padlock. That one unlocks
the lock on the box. It's wooden, but the inside is completely untouched by
the soil and everything. It's well-made, how did he get it?

	Speaking of well-made, the journals themselves are expensive, all
of them with locks on them, except for one, which looks relatively new and
like a notebook someone would buy for school. I count fifteen total
notebooks, with room for plenty more.

	I know the notebooks, and they're not cheap. There's no way Xander
could have gotten them on his own, someone had to have gotten them for
him. They're not just expensive, they've got no cost, not without
connections.

	They're a special type of notebook Father's company produced a few
of several years ago, but never sold because they were considered
impractical. The lock for each one is different, and they're damn hard to
pick, too. Can't get the corners of the notebook open unless the lock's
open, either, the lock's connected to them. Made for privacy, but expensive
to make. There's about a hundred thousand of them in storage, though if
someone who knows about them wants some, they can buy them. I've got, like,
a hundred of them at home.

	There's neat handwriting on each one, denoting which notebook it
is, the number spelled out, and at first, I think Xander's handwriting is
neat, but then I see the word on the fifteenth, and it's sloppy. I open up
a random notebook, and it's got sloppy handwriting. So whoever got him the
notebooks and box must have also written the numbers on them. I catch which
one I opened, it's Fourteen, and I'm at the back of it. I flip to the
beginning of that entry, which is about ten pages total, and the last entry
in the journal. This was the day that Xander 'ran away'. I start reading,
though it's going to take me awhile, he's got worse handwriting than the
typical boy, and his spelling is horrible, too, which makes it take even
longer than I thought it would.

	[I'm scared it's going to happen again. They're going to beat me,
just like everyone else. But at least they give me privacy. Except for
Finn, he just barges into the room whenever he wants. He's annoying. He's
also a freak. His skin's completely white. Not white like mine, white like
chalk. His hair's white, too, though if he's just cleaned it and it's not
dirty then it looks almost clear. His eyes are red. He says they sometimes
look blue, but I haven't seen that yet. He also wears white or really faded
clothes, and says he likes making people think they saw a ghost. He's
weird. And a freak.]

	I keep reading, and most of the journal entry that I can actually
understand is about how I'm a freak or how he's scared they're going to
beat him, but glad that my godparents give him space. He always says 'the
room' or 'the house', never refers to them as his own. I finish the entry,
and then close fourteen, opening up One and starting. His handwriting's
sloppy, and it's dated from the April of 2011. That rings a bell, and not
just because of my birthday being in it. Why does that month seem familiar
to me? I start reading, putting that to the back of my mind. I can figure
it out later, I want to see inside his head when he first started writing
these. Xander's eight year old handwriting is sloppy and his grammar is
terrible, but I can make out the gist of what he's saying, I think.

	[Ben got me these journals. He says it's good to write down my
thoughts.  Ben's cool. He's got black hair and cool blue eyes and looks
like a god. He's really cool. He visits the orphanage after school every
day.]

	[I like Ben, he's cool. He always plays with me. He doesn't yell or
say mean things. He does the airplane a lot. He's really strong. I want to
be just like Ben.]

	The first few entries, one every few days, is mostly just kid
Xander talking about Ben and how fun he is. I think he had a little
boy-crush on this Ben dude, but then I get to a page that looks like it has
tears on it. April twenty-fourth, 2011. Now that date REALLY seems familiar
to me. It's hard to read what he's saying, and it takes me longer than it
did for the other entries.

	[He didn't show up. Ben didn't show up. Why didn't he show up? They
told me he died. Why did Ben died? It's all my fault!]

	The entire entry is just Xander talking about Ben being dead, and
how that's not possible, and how it's his fault. The entire entry, which
lasts for six pages.

	Then I realize why the date seemed familiar.

	This guy who interned at Father's company passed away on that date,
a high school senior named Benjamin Whitford, when he was hit by a drunk
driver. There was a huge lawsuit from my father's company because not only
was Whitford killed while on the clock, but also while driving a company
car and transporting company materials, all of which were damaged or
destroyed. That was kind of put to the back of the suit for Whitford's
death, and my father's company paid all the funeral expenses and
everything, though they did still seem a bit insensitive with the other
lawsuit.

	Xander knew Ben. From his journal entries, it had sounded like Ben
had been showing up a lot longer than Xander had the journals for. A few
entries later, Xander gets taken in by a foster family, and he's excited
for it, since it's his first home. He's still sad about Ben, though, even
comments about Ben and the new home.

	[I wish Ben were still here. He'd play with me at my new home. He
would. I liked Ben. I miss him. Why is he gone?]

	A few days after his arrival in his new home, things get dark, the
pages streaked with tears and covered in Xander's sloppy handwriting.

	[Alan] he's a teenager, but that's all Xander says on him. I'm
guessing by some of the stuff that he's closer to the end of high school
than the beginning. That's one of his foster brothers in the new home. He's
got two, the other one being Damien. Xander doesn't mention Damien much at
this point. [called me into his room.  I thought he wanted to play. He was
naked. His pee-pee was huge. He told me to call it a cock. His cock was
huge. Alan said he was horny, but he had no horns. Alan is a big fat
liar. He grabbed me and told me to suck on his cock. He forced it into my
mouth. I didn't want to. I gagged. He made me. Then he told me to take off
my clothes. He pushed me onto his bed. He pushed my underwear into my mouth
and taped it there. Then he put his pee-pee] 'pee-pee' is crossed out [cock
into my butt. It hurt, but he said that if I screamed, he would hurt me
more, so I tried not to scream. It was hard. I screamed through my
underwear. It hurt so bad.]

	For a few days, it looks like Alan raped Xander, then Xander ran
away. I keep reading through his journals, where I can actually make it
out. He was abused or raped in every home, and at a few of the homes, he
was even 'shared' by one of his foster-siblings or someone in the
neighborhood who was taking advantage of him, sometimes to an entire team
of players, though that was usually just sucking, with a few fucking. The
scars on his back are from several of the homes, though he only mentions
one for the burns. Whenever he was at the orphanage, he felt safe. He
actually says he feels safe there, and likes his roommate, because his
roommate leaves him alone. That's the only place where he ever says 'my
home' or 'my bed' or 'my room' or something like that, the only place, it
seems, where he felt like it was actually his home.

	Found out what happened when he was eleven. Remember that I'd found
that he'd started to seem to be comfortable somewhere, then never got taken
in until my godparents took him in?

	The older foster-brother there, Kevin, was nice to Xander, managed
to pull him out of his shell, the one he'd built up because of all his
abuse and rapes. No entry on day eighteen, the next one is four days later.

	Kevin had broken Xander out of his shell, gotten him to trust him,
and made him think he was a friend. Then he locked Xander up in a basement,
and for three days, he and what Xander describes as an entire football team
and an entire soccer team rapes him and beats him, pissing on him and
fucking him, even doing double penetration up the ass. The things Xander
writes in that entry...holy shit. No wonder he doesn't trust anyone and
tries to stay from interacting with people, even if he's around others. The
last time he made an actual friend, they broke him down. His spirit's been
completely broken, and Kevin didn't just break it, he crushed it into the
dirt and taunted him. They actually teased Xander with freedom.

		He didn't run away that time, not until after they did
release him. He was in town for three of the days people were looking for
him, locked in a basement, being raped, abused, and teased with
freedom. And then he ran away. He tried getting as far as possible, and he
managed to get almost eight hundred miles, from where he says he was when
they found him.

	Then, the last two years, the journal entries are pretty much
Xander just talking about how quiet it is, or how damaged or broken he is,
or how worthless he is, or his fears. He's terrified of drowning, which is
a result of an incident at one home where he was shoved into the deep end
of a pool with no floats or knowledge of how to swim. He's terrified of the
dark, though that's probably a fear that never vanished. He's scared of
being abused, but I can tell the entries are written in his room at the
orphanage, they're calmer, less panicky. His thoughts make more sense in
those entries.

	Then we get to the last entry in the locked journals. I've already
read it, but I read it again anyway. After that, I open up the final
journal. At this point, the sun's starting to fade.

	He's still got the self-doubt, and even states a few times he's
broken, that he's damaged, and he's pretty sure the only way he can get off
now is if he's being raped, because that's all he's ever known.

	[I've never jacked off before. I don't have wet dreams, like they
say I would, but that's probably because I'm too scared. I have nightmares
every night. But at least I have Trenton, now. I like Trenton, he listens
to me, and he doesn't make me do shit I don't want to do or beat me or rape
me. He doesn't have a dick, so he couldn't, even if he tried.]

	That...made me laugh, probably more than it should have,
considering how dark everything's been, and everything I just learned about
my friend. But when I read that, I pictured Xander trying to make sure that
Trenton can't actually rape him, and it made me laugh.

	Most of his journal entries in the new journal are about me, and
how he finds me annoying. I'm considering that maybe I do bother him a
little too much, and have decided to stop barging into his room (didn't
realize that bothered him), when I catch an entry that makes me wonder.

	[Why does that cute freak bother me so much? Why can't he just
leave me alone?]

	He called me cute. Xander, the kid who thinks he's broken and can
only get off if he's being raped, just called someone else cute. Xander
might have issues stemming from a lot of rape, but he certainly has
feelings of his own towards other people, and not just the negative kind.

	Now I want, more than ever, to pull him out of that shell. It's
kind of late now, so I'll get to work on it tomorrow.

[Xander]

	Mrs. Scott told me to get a haircut. I don't think she was giving
me an option, because she's been talking about how I need one for the last
few days. So I went with the driver to get my haircut after my walk. I was
writing in my new journal. I bought it at the store, but I need to be
careful with how much I spend, I don't have a whole lot of money saved up.

	I didn't like her cutting my hair. She just trimmed it up a little
bit, so it's not short, it's still kind of long, but not, like, girly long
or anything. After that, we leave, and the driver takes me somewhere I
didn't ask him to. I told him to take me to the house. I'm not sure where
we're going.

	He was on his phone while I was in the hair place. Useful
bodyguard, getting distracted like that. He was probably distracted on
purpose, to give someone a chance to do something, but no one did. They
probably failed. I can't even get kidnapped properly, I'm so useless. He's
probably taking me to the kidnappers.

	He stops at a graveyard outside of town and lets me out. I'm
getting taken here. No doubt about that, since it's a graveyard, and
they're scary places. The driver starts walking, and I follow him. He
checks his phone a few times, probably to make sure he's taking me to the
right place.

	He stops at a grave, and I'm scared. Am I going to be buried? It
isn't until I look at the grave that I realize where we're at.

	I haven't been here before. It's HIS grave. I feel my breathing
quicken up when I see it. How do they know about HIM? Why did he bring me
to HIS grave?

	The driver puts some distance between us, and I drop to my knees,
staring at the grave. I can feel tears forming in my eyes, a sob rising in
my throat. HE was so strong, so cool, and so unlike me. I'm a failure
compared to HIM, and HE probably wouldn't like to see me now. HE would
probably stay away from me. I wish HE were still here, HE would know what
to do.

	Sometime later, I finish crying, and we go home. When I get to my
room, there's a stack of journals sitting on my bed, the same special
journals that HE gave me. Twenty of them. Twenty brand-new
journals. There's no note or anything to tell me where they came from or
who gave them to me, but each one has a hand-written number on the cover,
starting from fifteen and going to thirty-four.

	The keys are in the locks, and when I open them up, Fifteen has a
note tucked inside.

	[You're not worthless, Xander, and you're damn cute. Here's twenty
more of the notebooks. I'm not Ben, but I hope that one day, you'll trust
me just as much. I know you've got fifteen already, but these ones have
locks, so if you want to transfer everything you've got in your regular
journal into this one, you can, so it's secure. I promise I destroyed the
copies I made of all your keys, and didn't make any for these. Sorry for
breaking any trust you had in me. And you're right, you're weak, but that
doesn't make you undesirable. Why would they let an ugly kid suck them, if
they didn't like the way you looked? And why did they have you on your
back, so they could see your face, if they thought you were ugly? If you
want to work on getting stronger and more fit, meet me in front of your
house at five-thirty in the morning tomorrow. I've put some shorts and
sleeveless shirts in your closet, wear those. The running sneakers,
too. I'll help you get in shape, and I'll teach you martial arts,
too. You're not worthless, Xander, you're amazing, and you're the cutest
guy I know. Every straight or bi girl and gay or bi guy in your class will
be wanting you to be their boyfriend. Get some muscle, and you'll make the
lesbians and straight guys question their sexuality. Also, work on your
handwriting, it's going to take your teachers FOREVER to read your homework
and test answers. Finn]

	Finn read my journals? He knows what happened to me? Is he going to
do that to me? Is that why he wants to meet me so early in the morning?
He's probably not giving me a choice. And he wants me to wear shorts and a
sleeveless. Why does he want me to do that? I'm ugly, no one wants to see
that. Plus, I'm not tanned there because they've been covered up, so I'm
white as a ghost under my sleeves and pants. Finn really is weird.

~~END OF CHAPTER FIVE~~

	Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is welcome, so
don't hesitate to shoot me an email. Thanks to everyone who's responded so
far! If enough people show interest, I'll probably set something up so
y'all can receive a notification whenever I post a new chapter.

	So in this chapter...Finn finds out what, exactly, happened to
Xander all those years that caused him to become the way he is. What do you
think about Finn's reaction, being blunt to Xander about needing to work
out and about how bad his handwriting is? Think it's positive? Negative?
Admitting it and offering to help will help Xander? Or do you think it'll
tear him down more? I'm just curious to know what y'all think on that.

	So Ben didn't exist in the original version of this story, and was
actually created as I was rewriting the original Chapter 5 into this one
(the original actually had Xander and Finn having anal for the first time,
but as you can see, that's clearly not happening anytime soon). Somehow, he
weaved his way into existence, so I rolled with it, and he ended up
becoming a bit more...tragic...than I'd originally expected when he showed
up.

	Also – don't forget that the third MC's introduction will be
very soon, too! I kind of want to know what y'all think he'll be like.
It'll be fun seeing guesses.

	Hope y'all enjoyed this, and hope y'all will keep reading!