Date: Mon, 22 Oct 2007 07:29:33 -0500
From: J.J. <jjjanicki@gmail.com>
Subject: Understanding Sex-Part 10

If it is illegal for you to read about sex between two underage boys,
please exit immediately.

Well, you can't very well say I didn't try, now can you?


                      Understanding Sex-Part 10
                         And We Have Ignition


Thursday morning, June 23... I'm going to go ahead and tell you what
happened Tuesday night in this installment. Because it went off very
well. Even if for awhile I was really wondering, because at first it
looked like I'd fucked up again.

So at this point it might help if I were to admit just exactly how much
experience I'd even HAD prior to Tuesday night. Because if you've been
reading "Getting Kicked Out of the House" you might be thinking that I've
had a LOT. But I haven't. I'm just an avid reader with a good
imagination.

But really, my first experience with anyone else being involved was the
deal with Ray Kohle. And then the next day came my afternoon of absolute
bliss with Matthew. And you know about Aaron. Then in between last summer
and Aaron came two negative experiences, the first of which I'm about to
mention, but only for the sake of comparison between that and Tuesday
night.

It happened in October. And at the time it happened I had to think that
it just couldn't GET any more negative. Because to my way of thinking,
the REASON it all happened in the first place was... well, it was a bad
thing. I was furiously peddling home after finishing my morning paper
route, HOPING I could make it in time, because what I had was... well,
diarrhea. Just a mild case, but still... pretty negative, right? And I'm
not sure if it was a good idea to peddle my bike furiously. Shit, (no pun
intended), I have no idea what WAS a good idea under the circumstances,
but ANYway, I spotted a service station. Which wasn't open yet, but a
quick investigation revealed a door marked "Men" which was standing OPEN!
Saved, yes? Well, almost. As in hurriedly dismounting my bike oops...
well, shit happens. And that was intended, as I'm TRYING to be halfway
delicate about all this, even if there really isn't any way of doing it.

Well, at least it was only a small mess. It could have been worse, I
thought. It could have been better too, like for example the bathroom
didn't have to smell so bad, but with it being left open all night, what
could you expect? And if you gotta go, well, you gotta go, and I sure
did.

Only THEN I discovered there wasn't any toilet paper in there. Not even
an empty cardboard spool. And no paper towels, either. There was exactly
zip to wipe myself with. Except for my undies. Which were messed up
anyway, soo... I untied my shoes, then holding my legs up so as not to
allow my sock feet to touch that wet, stinking floor, I removed my jeans
and undies. Still holding my legs out, I'd then managed to get one leg of
my jeans back on... when things got WORSE, as the door started opening.
(!!!) Somebody was coming in on me! And even under the best
circumstances, I HATE having someone come in while I'm sitting on the
stool. But to have someone come in while I was sitting there with my legs
out in the air in front of me with my messed up underwear in my lap and
my pants only on one leg was the ultimate nightmare. TALLIS would have
been mortified even.

I blurted, "There's somebody in here, I'll be out in a minute". But he
walked right on in. So I just sat there frozen for a couple of seconds,
then slowly my feet fell to the urine soaked floor and I tried to look
normal. With my pants on one leg and my undershorts in my lap.

But he was trying to act normal too I guess. I have no idea who he was. I
never saw him before in my life, and I never saw him again. And I sure
don't know what he was doing around there at six o'clock in the morning.
But anyway, he had a baseball cap on sideways and was whistling
tunelessly. I'd say he was fourteen or fifteen. Sort of tall, about 5-10
or so. Blond hair. A round unremarkable face. He was skinny, and his arms
looked like pipe stems. But in spite of the circumstances, all at once I
was interested. Well, I wasn't about to start wiping myself until he left
and since he'd already seen me in the most damning circumstances and
since I didn't even KNOW him, I guessed I'd try to get a look. Hopefully
he was going to take a piss. I mean he COULDN'T have come in there to
wash his hands and I hoped he wasn't going to wait for me to get off the
stool. Him just standing there in front of me would have looked pretty
strange, so he almost HAD to be there for a piss. And the urinal was
right next to me.

And sure enough, still whistling and seemingly paying me no mind, he
moved to urinal and I heard him start. And stop. And start again. And
stop. Still trying to act nonchalant, I glanced over and mumbled, "They
don't have any toilet paper in here." I was trying to explain things. But
he had a hard-on. Which would explain the starting and stopping I guess.
It was red as a beet. It looked pretty big, actually. And I couldn't look
away from it. Well, he walked in on me, didn't he? And apparently seeing
me had given him that erection. And I'd probably never would see him
again, so why NOT?

But anyway. In reply he said "Um" I think. He was very red-faced. Which
made two of us. And I guess you could say that he also looked pissed off.

Well, I guess he WAS. Because all at once he asked, "What are you looking
at?"

So of course I got REALLY red-faced and mumbled, "Nothing. I was just
using the bathroom." And I quickly looked away.

But then HE asked, "You want to feel it?"

"What?"

"I ASKED you if you want to feel my DICK?"

"No, I don't." I was hoping he'd leave.

But he stepped in front of me and he said, "Yeah you do. So go on, feel
it" and he pushed his pants about halfway down to his knees and pressed
his dick up against the side of my face.

When he did that I wasn't even looking at him, like maybe if I just
looked down at the floor and didn't say anything else, he'd leave me
alone, but when he pressed his DICK up against my face, I looked up and
jerked away. Athough I noticed that he had a fairly bushy brownish-blonde
bush.

He repeated, "Go on, feel it."

Which is when I forgot about trying to keep up appearances. It felt...
well, interesting. Then when he asked if I wanted to suck it, I thought,
"Well OK, I'll do it. Just to see what it's like." In that stinking
bathroom. But at first it wasn't so bad. For oh, about 5 seconds it
wasn't, as I tentatively closed my mouth around the soft spongy head. No,
that wasn't so bad, even if my mouth was stretched uncomfortably wide. It
made my jaw hurt. But I wanted to make the most of it, I wanted to flick
my tongue over his pee slit, I wanted to savor the rounded ridge, the
little inverted v on the bottom... but I only managed a quick flick of my
tongue on his slit, he groaned, grabbed the back of my head and shoved it
in as far as it would go, all the way to the back of my throat. And
choking is NOT good.

I think I said, "Er HOK-A gaa!" (What I MEANT to say was "You're CHOKING
me!", but you know how it is. Or at least I'm sure you can imagine.)

"Keep sucking!" he spat out. But fortunately he didn't last long. I mean
he was about to CHOKE me. But all at once I felt it jerk and I had a
mouthful. Not knowing what to DO with it all, I managed to swallow maybe
his first two shots, the rest ended up running down my chin onto my
shirt. That's not positive at ALL. It wasn't anything like my experience
with Matthew.

At last he withdrew his softening appendage from my mouth. Which was a
relief, I mean my jaw was sore for most of the rest of the day, and I had
a sore throat to boot, but anyway he smirked and said, "So how'd you like
it, queer boy?"

I wiped at my face and just shrugged. Didn't know what to say, really.

Then it got even WORSE! It DID, because all at once without warning he
shoved me right off the stool. Just SHOVE and I was in the floor on my
ass. It was wet and cold. And I hit my head on the wall and I started
crying. I couldn't help it. So he started saying something (muttering
loudly, but all I could make out was "fucking", "shit" and "fairy") and
then he jerked my pants off! Which was easy to do, because I only had one
leg in them to start with, but my foot was hung up long enough that I
ended up getting dragged across the floor on my back a little. Then he
left. I was shaking all over and I just KNEW he'd gone off with my pants,
but he hadn't, he just threw them in a bush right outside the door. So
after awhile I slithered out on my belly and retrieved them. And I'm
aware there are people who would think my SLITHERING to be nothing less
than poetic justice, and it certainly occurred to me that morning, but
actually that was the end of it. Except humiliating or not, I jerked off
recalling it soon as I got home and hit the shower. Had I been able to
cum at that time, I would have been spraying from the first pull. But
really, THAT was a very negative experience.

But see, I didn't KNOW him. So I didn't have to worry about him telling
everybody I knew about what happened. It was just my dirty little secret,
is all. But I DID know Tallis.

So OK. It started like this a week ago at #2 which was when I saw Tallis
for the first time this summer. Which was shortly after Adam had left for
the day, and I was about to leave myself, when I looked up and saw him
getting out of some guy's car. I didn't think much about it at the time
though, I just yelled, "Hey, Tallis! Remember me?"

Which he did and he seemed glad enough to see me. Especially when I asked
if he wanted to go burn one with me out in the woods behind the course.
So anyway, after that we were just sitting around talking. And by the
way, he hasn't hit his growth spurt yet either, he's not much bigger than
he was last summer. It didn't seem like he'd changed much at all. Except
that he wasn't playing much this year. Said he didn't have time anymore.

"So what ARE you doing?" I wondered.

He shrugged. "Oh, just getting by, is all. It's not so bad. ... I don't
know if you've heard, but I'm not living at home anymore."

"Well, I heard you got into it with your old man, but that's all... so
you moved in with your relatives or something?"

"Nearest relatives I know anything about are in South Dakota, and I ain't
living on no damn reservation."

"Well then who you staying with?"

He laughed shortly. "Varies. ... But I get by. It's a lot better than
having my old man beat the shit out of me. Fuck that shit."

And that's when it started clicking together. Not that I knew for SURE
right then, but after my own attempt at running away had gone off so
well, I'd done some research and what I found out was that most kids
living out on the street ended up peddling their cute little asses just
to survive. And at times I'd fantasized about doing that. And living to
tell about it. Which was why I hadn't made any attempt at acting out my
fantasy, because some night you might run into the wrong person. So I
don't know. I honestly did feel bad for him. He'd always struck me as a
tough little kid, and certainly he'd always been a lot more streetwise
than I'd ever dreamed of being, but I was scared about what could happen.
But there sure wasn't anything I could do about it.

Which brought up that part of me that isn't so altruistic. Not that I
haven't rationalized enough; maybe if I get to know him real well, I can
eventually talk him into to getting his ass OFF the street, or maybe in
the end we can sort of look out for each other, because before this
summer is over I've got to figure out a way of NOT going back home
myself. Really, I can't TAKE much more.

But never mind all that. Because bottom line was damn it, I wanted to
have SEX. I THOUGHT things were starting to work out with Aaron, I
THOUGHT me and Matthew would pick up where we left off last summer, I
even THOUGHT things might get interesting with Austin, but every fucking
TIME... no. So what if I knew somebody who... except the problem was I
really didn't know ANYTHING for sure. Except that he was apparently
living on the street. So what the hell, if nothing else, I guessed I'd at
least get to see him naked again, and I certainly was curious about that
aspect as well...

Sooo... hoping my voice didn't sound sort of funny, with all the
casualness I could muster I said, "Well, if you're pretty much free to do
what you want... you wanna some time just me and you party all night? I
mean we can get WASTED, you know? I could give McAteer the money and like
he'd get us a motel room or something, I'd just say I met somebody is all
and he'll be cool about it, you know McAteer, but one night I'd just like
to get tore UP, you know? But then I'd want somebody else I knew around
in case I get TOO messed up... so you know, you wanna sometime?" And
believe it or not, I think that's almost an exact quote.

And by now you already know it worked. I was HOPING my voice wasn't
betraying me, but Tallis later allowed as how he had extra good "gaydar",
so he caught on right away. And really, I THOUGHT he'd caught on that
afternoon. It was just sort of the look he gave me right after I stumbled
through that come-on. He looked at me hard, then he sort of grinned and
with a shrug said, "Really? You want to?"

"Yeah, sure" I said, still trying to sound casual.

"How about this Tuesday night then? I'll meet you at Hardee's. Around
four."

And that's how it got set up. And it wasn't a problem talking McAteer
into getting me a room after I gave him the money. I just said I'd met a
girl, is all. Worked like a charm.

So about Tuesday night then. Well, the first problem was that Tallis took
"getting wasted" a great deal more literally than I was anticipating. I
was waiting at Hardee's by 3:30, trying not to act nervous. At about 4:10
he showed up. And he said, "So I guess we're set, huh?"

Nonchalantly I replied, "Uh huh."

"Cool. So let's go up in the woods and burn one, then we'll go. How far
is it, anyway?"

Just a mile or so was all. But I'd already smoked one, all by myself. And
this was killer weed, no doubt about it. So that second one was overkill
as far as I was concerned and then as we were walking over (me hoping I'd
got my directions right) I was once again beset by paranoia. And doubts
started worming their way into my befuddled brain as well. Because see,
all Tallis was talking about really was how fucked up he was. That and
wondering if we were going the right way, but not even a HINT of anything
sexual. So it wasn't long until I'd pretty much convinced myself that I
had totally misread that knowing look, shit, all we were going to do was
just get wasted. Probably he was looking forward to a night WITHOUT sex,
he had a place to stay, some good weed (MY weed), what could be better?
That's what he was probably expecting I thought to myself over and over
with various other bad thoughts, but...

At least I managed to find the motel. I already had the key to our room.
I told McAteer to get a single. And I was hoping it really WAS a single.
As in just one bed. A fairly small bed. So at least I'd end up getting
SOMETHING out of this. Only when we walked into our room, I discovered we
still had two beds. Shit and fuck! And Tallis said he had the one
furthest away from the air conditioner. So at that point I was SURE I'd
misread him. It did not look good at all.

And then it got worse as I remembered that I'd left Aunt Esther's minus
my underwear. So HOW was I going to mention that I wasn't wearing any?
Well, how about if I were to take a shower, then I'd come out and say,
"Shit. I forgot I decided not to wear my undies today. I thought it might
be good luck because one time I went swimming and I got my underwear wet
so I didn't wear any the rest of the day and I ended up winning $30.
Well, it wasn't too lucky today, that's for sure. I guess maybe I'll have
to try something else." I wonder if that would have worked? Who knows?
But I don't guess it mattered anyway, because while I was trying to think
of a way to put it, he decided HE was going to take a shower.

I said, "Well, hurry up because I was about to take one myself."

Tallis said, "I might. But why don't you roll us another?"

ANOTHER?? I said, "Shit Tallis, I'm about to start seeing things now. So
why don't we just wait awhile?"

"You going anywhere tonight?"

"Not now I'm not. I'd get lost."

He pulled his shirt off. "So what you worried about? Roll one, damn it."
Then he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

That was unusual. Well, for someone so notably immodest as Tallis it sure
seemed unusual to me. "Damn!" I thought, "What if HE'S started wearing
underwear too?" I swear, things were just getting worse and worse.

But I went ahead and rolled one. I recall that Tallis later said I did a
good job, but under the circumstances it was amazing that I even
continued to function. I thought I was beyond getting seriously spaced,
but it seemed like I was fast approaching retarded.

And another thing I was wondering about while he was in the shower was
how to turn off the air conditioner. Because I was freezing. But I
couldn't find the off button. I looked very carefully and there WAS no
off button. But the next morning I looked again just to make sure, and
I'll be damned if there wasn't an off button after all. So I really WAS
hallucinating a little. I'm serious. But anyway, after awhile I managed
to turn the deep freeze part of that infernal machine off, but in doing
so I turned the heat on and it wasn't long before I wasn't too
comfortable with that set up either. But then I couldn't get the heater
turned off. I tried and tried and it only got hotter and hotter. So I
took my shirt off. Then I guessed I might as well get my pants off too.
That way I could get my butt under a lukewarm shower as soon as Tallis
got his butt out and maybe he wouldn't notice if I was wearing underwear
or not. So when he came naked out of the bathroom drying his hair, I was
working on that. (But at least it seems things are taking a turn for the
better, yes?)

He looked at me struggling with my pants on the bed and asked, "You mind
telling me what you're doing?"

"I am trying to get my pants off" I answered.

"Why don't you try taking your shoes off first?" he wondered.

"Are my shoes on?" I asked.

"What are you doing with the heat on, anyway? It's hot as hell in here!"

"I can't turn the air conditioner off" I said plaintively.

"You ain't got the damn air conditioner on, you got the HEATER on!"

"Well, I can't turn IT off EITHER!"

"Damn, you must really be fucked up" he said as he knelt in front of the
air conditioner/heater. Within seconds he had it back on cool. Not deep
freeze; cool.

"I AM fucked up" I said solemnly. "Can you please get my shoes off?"

He instead popped me with his wet towel, right on my privates. And like I
mentioned earlier when I was telling you about Aaron, I am no good at
towel popping. Tallis, on the other hand, is very good. He delivered yet
another stinging switch to my wienie.

"Ouch!" I said. I was practically immobilized because of my pants being
all tangled up around my ankles.

KAPOW KAPOW. Twice more the towel flicked out and both times it
connected, first on my wienie again, then across my ass as I rolled over
on my stomach.

"Tallis, cut it out!" I said.

KAPOW! Across my butt again. Damn! Well, my reflexes weren't completely
fried, so I spun back to face him just as the towel flicked out again and
I grabbed that thing and didn't let go until I reeled him right in. He
wasn't ABOUT to let go of his end. He was thinking I could pop a towel
like he could no doubt. But had he known how ineffectual my towel popping
attempts ARE, maybe he would've just let me have it. Or maybe not. But
anyway, all of a sudden both of us were on that bed wrestling and
giggling and grabbing at each other and we both were naked except for my
pants being down at my ankles. Well, he pinned me on my back and he was
on top of me and our dicks were grinding together and not too
surprisingly we were both hard real quick but he didn't move off of me
and I wasn't trying to move either, in fact, after a few seconds that
seemed to stretch out an awfully long time, he sort of twisted so his
midsection and legs were still on top of me but his elbows were on the
bed and he was looking at me very intently, so right then I could have
squirmed out from under him, but I didn't move a muscle.

Our eyes remained locked for several more seconds but still nobody moved.
I believe I looked at him very calmly. Finally he asked, "Did you roll
one?"

"Yeah. It's on the table by the bed." Really, I was almost calm.

Without moving off of me, he reached over to the night table and picked
up my freshly rolled masterpiece and the lighter. He grinned sort of
crookedly, stuck the joint in the corner of his mouth and started to
light it.

"You better NOT burn me, man" I said.

"I won't burn you" he said, then he lit up expertly and was careful not
to blow smoke in my face. His boner remained pressed against mine. He
took two deep tokes and offered it to me. The joint, I mean.

"That's OK" I said, "I think I'm high enough for now."

"You're NEVER high enough" he said.

So I went ahead and smoked ANOTHER. He even blew me a couple of shotguns.
I don't know how to do that either and while Rick Linfesty had blown me a
few, with him I always shied away because it looked like we were about to
start kissing. Well, me and Tallis got damn near mouth-to-mouth, so he
blew me some good ones. But then after we finished that number he STILL
didn't get off of me, he was just stretched out, with his chest on my
chest and I could feel our hearts beating together. That was cool. He had
his face down on the bed right beside me and he made occasional muffled
remarks about how tore up he was. Well, I was certainly glad to hear it.

After awhile in a still muffled voice he asked, "You ever caught a buzz
like that before?"

I took a deep breath, then staring fixedly at the ceiling I said, "Well,
if you mean have I ever been this high before; no, I don't think I have.
I've been pretty high, but not this high. And if you mean have I ever
smoked one with... somebody on top of me like this, well I've tried LOTS
of things, but no, I don't guess I've ever done that either."

He didn't immediately say anything but after a little bit he rolled off
of me and lay on his side facing me. He started rubbing on my chest and
he said softly, "J.J.? Could you do me a favor?" He kept on slowly
rubbing my chest. It felt very good.

"Yeah, what?" I finally asked.

"Could you go get me some Marlboros? There's a machine right outside the
office."

When he asked if I could do him a favor, I had no idea what he was about
to ask, but whatever it was, that sure wasn't it. "I'm too tore up to
leave this room" I answered with a note of disappointment.

"Oh, come on. It won't take you but a minute" he said earnestly.
Meanwhile his circular rubbing on my chest was gradually moving downward.

Not being an assertive person, I'd already decided I would go sooner or
later if I could get my damn pants back up, but at the same time I
guessed I'd let him try to convince me awhile longer. "Well, why can't
you go?"

"You go" he said. Quite naturally his hand skipped from my upper abdomen
down to my penis and he started stroking IT lightly, then just as
naturally with his other hand he took my left hand and pressed it against
HIS penis. I began squeezing it with remarkable nonchalance. But this
state of affairs was short-lived, only not before he gently nuzzled my
cheek and gave it a little peck and nibbled on my ear lobe. Whoa! Then he
said, "PLEASE? I'm about to have a nicotine fit. ...And when you get
back, we'll mess around a little if you want to."

"Well, can you help me get my pants back up?"

So he pulled them up for me, his hands skimming lightly the length of my
legs, on up my thighs, between my legs, over my balls and up the length
of my seriously throbbing erection. And that's when I almost lost it. I
never would have thought having my pants pulled UP could have been so
incredibly sensual. He zipped me up and after gently kissing and flicking
his tongue over my right nipple (which also just about did it), told me
to hurry back.

Except I still really didn't want to go out because of the very obvious
bulge in my pants that wasn't too likely to go back down unless some
tension was relieved. So I told him. Well, actually I just said I
couldn't go out like that.

But he eventually talked me into it. It wasn't really that far and nobody
would probably even see me and if somebody did, well, so what? Hadn't I
ever heard of puberty? Then he shoved me out the door.

And not too surprisingly, I went the wrong way. I thought I was NEVER
going to find that machine. Then I forgot our room number. So then I
panicked, but thankfully I remembered I had the room key in my pocket and
sure enough, it had our number. Saved!

But somebody DID see me and he noticed. He couldn't hardly take his eyes
off of it. He was sitting out in front of his room drinking beer. At
least I guess it was his room. He said, "Hey little dude, you staying
here?"

"Yes" I said, "I'm with my parents."

I don't think he believed that, but he let it slide.

But anyway, by the time I finally found our room, Tallis had pulled his
sweat pants back on and was sitting up in bed watching "Growing Pains".

I said, "Damn. Why'd you get dressed for?"

"I don't know. I just did... But if you want to take them off for me, you
can. ... I'm too fucked up. You got my cigarettes didn't you?"

So while he lay just about completely motionless except for slowly
puffing away on a cigarette, I pulled his pants down again. But he'd gone
soft, so accusingly I asked, "You didn't beat off while I was gone, did
you?"

"No" he said languidly, "It just went down. Don't worry, it'll get hard
again. Just go slow."

So I just decided that I was going to go ALL THE WAY with him, that's
all. He was a street hustler, wasn't he? Well, I don't KNOW that for
sure, but the way he was messing with me earlier, I had to think he'd
probably pretty much done it all, so by golly, I was going for it.

Pulling his pants off was great. Because it was the first time I'd ever
done it slowly. (And come to think of it, it was only the second time I'd
ever done it period.) So it was great SLOWLY inching the waist of his
sweats down. Down until I could see the beginning of his black bush.
(Which is coming along fairly well.) Down past his slightly stiff penis.
(Which is getting to be fairly fat. Hard, I guess it's close to six
inches.) Down past his plump still hairless balls. And finally off. Yes!
Then I gently nibbled on his TOES for a few seconds. I don't really have
a foot fetish, but I just didn't want to leave a stone unturned, that's
all. And besides, he'd just gotten out of the shower. Well, he does have
nice shapely feet but I didn't get much out of it, so on up his legs I
went and inside his knees and then I had to call time out because I was
about to lose it. I guess I was really getting a kick out of being weird.
And while I was expecting him to remove my pants again for me, he hadn't
offered to and I started getting off on that too. I was pretending I was
his punk slave. And that was easy enough, because aside from calmly
puffing away on his cigarette he barely even moved. I mean he did seem
fairly interested in what I was doing and his penis sure had gotten real
hard again and his legs were spreading open seemingly on their own to
accommodate my apparent desire, but like I said, I was on the verge of
squirting. And I only had that one pair of pants. And I didn't want to
squirt on the bed either. So I just said I had to take a piss. It only
took a few furious strokes. I guessed he could get it primed and ready to
go again without too much trouble.

But when I came out again wearing only my official APPNA shirt, he was
rolling ANOTHER one! Damn. How many does that make? I've lost count.

I think that makes four. I only took a few tokes off that one though. I
just decided to let him smoke it while I picked up where I'd left off.
Then after I actually nibbled on his balls for a short while (I was
gentle about it) he wondered if I wouldn't like a couple of hits before
he pinched it. So I guessed I might as well, then once I was about
through coughing I returned to his genital area, kissing the head of his
penis. Then after a couple of deep fluttery breaths, I took about three
or four inches into my mouth. YES!"

Tallis was coughing a bit too, but he said "Hey! (cough, cough) ... Hey,
J.J.! (cough)... Wait a se..cond...Ahh!... O..kay?"

"Wha?" I couldn't talk too well with his dick in my mouth, so I let it
slide out.

He took a couple more deep breaths and then said to me, "You sure you're
through coughing? I don't want it bit off, you know."

I'd really hate to do that. That would be AWFUL! Shit! So I took several
deep breaths and said, "Yeah, I think I'm OK."

"You sure?"

I looked at his erection speculatively. Carefully I pulled his pink slit
open wide, then pressed it shut, then opened it again and caught a whiff
of it. "Yeah, I'm sure" I said.

"Well, be my guest" he replied.

And so I did. I tried deep-throating him a couple of times, but I still
didn't have the hang of it. Guess Tallis figured that out, because he
told me just to concentrate on his bulb. Which was cool enough, I guess.
He very definitely got into it, that's for sure. I mean he was ohhing and
ahhing and wiggling around like you wouldn't believe. Although he tried
to warn me at least. All at once he blurted out, "I'm about to lose it!
I'm not kidding!" and then he did. So I don't guess it was really all
THAT much of a warning, but I wanted it anyway, so it didn't matter. Only
I was a little surprised because I thought I'd feel it jerking around a
lot, but it just jerked a LITTLE and then all at once I had a mouthful.
So I don't know, is there that much difference taste-wise between one
guy's and another? Being unable to recall EXACTLY what Matthew's tasted
like, and not being able to recall all that much about that kid who stuck
in my mouth in that smelly bathroom either, I GUESS Tallis's tasted
pretty much the same as mine, except maybe his is little more tangy. Or
maybe not, shit, it might have all just been in my head, you know? Like
when you swallow your own cum, that's one thing, but then having somebody
else squirt into your mouth is different. Except I STILL wasn't sure that
he was completely finished. Because like I said, I was expecting a lot
more jerking around, so I asked. I mean I asked if he'd just shot off.

"Sure did man", he replied. Yeah well, I guess it WAS sort of a dumb
question at that.

But anyway, by that time I was pretty stiff again myself.

Only instead of returning the favor, he wanted to go to Burger King. Then
while we were headed back he said nonchalantly, "You know, I sort of
thought you were gay. I got real good gaydar."

"But-"

He cut me off. Which is just as well, because I have no IDEA what I was
going to say next. "I mean, don't worry about it. `Cause it doesn't
bother me any, OK? If you want to suck me off, you can do it anytime you
want to. As long as you're cool and don't let anybody else know about it,
it's OK. You know what I mean?"

And THAT'S when I was thinking the whole experience was going to rank
right up there with my previously mentioned October surprise. Because
like I said, he KNEW me. And how could I be sure at some point he
WOULDN'T tell somebody? Shit, I was wondering if maybe it was time to run
away again. It was a very long minute.

Well, it couldn't have been much longer than that. We were walking along
silently, me mournfully lost in a sea of what-ifs, but then Tallis
started giggling. Which was very uncharacteristic of him. "Shit" I
thought, "I really didn't know him at ALL! He's LAUGHING about it!" I
started walking faster. I was close to tears, if you want to know the
truth about it.

Then he put his hand on my shoulder and managed, "Hey, wait up J.J. Just
wait up a second, OK?"

I turned to face him. Stormily? Maybe that's not the right word. I was
very pissed though. And thoroughly let down. Crushed. DEVASTATED. And
ENOUGH of this! "Yeah, what?"

"Hey man, I was just fucking with your head, OK? I'm not going to leave
you hanging, don't worry about it. I was just fucking with you a little,
OK?"

"What do you mean?" I asked not daring to hope.

"I mean if you're gay, I guess I'm about ten times more, all right? You
don't do it for money, I do man. And you know what? I LIKE doing it!"

Holy SHIT! I was RIGHT! "Well, I'm not going to tell anybody about it" I
managed.

"Yeah, I figured you wouldn't. And that's cool, because I ain't exactly
advertising it, but in a way I'm really glad you are, `cause sometimes I
want to talk to somebody my own age is all and I always sort of liked you
anyway. So is that cool?"

"Well, fuck yes!" I croaked.

And just like that, what was looking like an awful night became a
wonderful night. Maybe not quite that "ideal" I keep hoping for, because
I can't allow myself to get that close to someone who's not going to
always be there when I need him, but maybe... well, maybe it's not
IMPOSSIBLE. I just don't know right now.

I really really don't want to be repetitious here, but on the other hand,
you have no idea how difficult it is NOT to be. When he first went down
on me, he just about drove me out of my fucking MIND. Because he kept
pushing me right up to the edge and then he'd pull back. He had me
literally whimpering. I was like, "Please! I can't STAND it anymore! Let
me DO IT!" But he kept saying it would be like something I couldn't even
IMaGINE when I finally COULDN'T hold back, no matter WHAT he did. And you
know what? It IS awfully difficult to put into words, except when I
finally erupted, I felt like my balls had been drained for a whole damn
month. Only as it turned out, he was soon able to get it primed up again.
I couldn't BE-LIEVE it, but he did. About the time he started rimming my
hole with his tongue. Oh WOW! But I'm getting ahead of myself. `Cause
actually I think THAT was shortly before the THIRD time. (I really do
wish I HADN'T been so fucking high. Although I suppose my BEING high
added a new dimension to things, I ALWAYS get horny when I'm high, but
still... well, it was awfully fantastic anyway.)

He gave me several pointers on how to be a good cock sucker. (I LIKE
saying that.) How I needed to breath through my nose. How I wanted to
sort of move my tongue out of the way. And when my nose finally reached
his bush and I didn't gag I was just BEAMING with pride. I'm sure of it.
Like I'd earned a merit badge or something. (And by the way, his bush is
still kind of soft and downy. I just figured I'd mention that, seeing as
how I forgot to earlier. I think it's really cool.)

He rimmed me, so I rimmed him. Never thought I'd be doing that. At least
not this summer. Sooner or later I supposed I'd get to it, but not right
away. And if it DID smell a little like shit, it wasn't all that bad. I
didn't feel like gagging at any point, which sort of came as a surprise.
It's a WHOLE lot better than a rabbit salad sandwich. When the person
you're doing it to is sort of whimpering and pushing back against your
tongue, you forget about everything else. And anyway, the musky odor made
up for the slightly shitty side of things. Plus it also smelled like
soap, so really, it wasn't bad at all.

And he SAT on me. On my pole. Well, he did ask if I WANTED him to (and
you can probably guess how long it took to make up my mind on that
question) and I did have to wear a rubber. Which I guess makes things
less messy and also safer. And he said he was sitting on me because he
was used to bigger cocks, but see, THAT way he could make adjustments.
Shit, I didn't know it WAS adjustable, but I guess it is all right. It
was almost funny, like he was a shoe salesman trying to get the right
fit, as in "You want me to make it a little tighter?" And that was the
third time, by the way. Having been drained twice already (or THREE times
if you want to count my quick jerk off), we able to keep it going for a
long time. And while sometimes I was humping up to meet him, he was doing
most of the work. I really do admire his stamina.

I wanted him to fuck me, but after rimming me he said, "Damn, you're
tight!" and THEN he came up with the butt plug idea. Because he didn't
want it to hurt so bad the first time. I never EVER thought about him
caring that much about other people's feelings. And it sort of made me
feel all warm inside. And a little sad. I really hope nothing bad happens
to him. Because he's like a little kid, really. When he starts giggling,
he's just like a little kid.

And while there IS a bit more to tell about Tuesday night (not to mention
TONIGHT), I think I'll save it for either part 11 or 12. Because in my
NEXT installment I want to sort of talk about Adam some more. Who
re-entered the picture yesterday. You shouldn't be jumping to conclusions
(and my saying I'm "sort of" going to talk about him should be an
indication as to why not), BUT I'm starting to wonder. Which just makes
things that much more complicated. But undeniably interesting.

So stay tuned, OK?

jjjanicki@gmail.com