Date: Sun, 16 Sep 2007 06:55:38 -0500
From: J.J. <jjjanicki@gmail.com>
Subject: Understanding Sex-Part 8

The following work of fiction contains sex between consenting minors.
Which generally speaking is what regular visitors to this website are
expecting anyway, so perhaps the only cautionary note necessary is that
it might seem that we're going backwards here. Although it ends better
than it starts. And having foreshadowed THAT much, I should add that
after this, things should start getting fairly interesting. Complicated,
but nonetheless interesting. At least I hope so.

I should also warn you that there's a girl in this story. But she serves
a good purpose and comes to a bad end. Or at least SHE thought it ended
badly. I thought it ended pretty good, myself.

This chapter is a bit longer than previous ones, but transitions are
always difficult. And I really wanted to get past the bad part so I could
get back to the good parts. I wasn't so sure I was going to make it for
awhile, I mean I was just getting depressed about it, but hopefully it's
finally worked out OK.


                      Understanding Sex-Part 8
                         The Roller coaster



Tuesday, June 7th... Martin's no longer working at #5, right now he's
taking night classes at a community college and working as a software
salesman during the day.

Ray Kohle is taking summer classes at Cornell University. Which would be
in New York state, so I don't guess I'll be seeing him either.

Adam's still playing, but at Edina. Austin's playing somewhere else as
well, but I'm not sure where. (There are six courses in the metro area.)

Tallis apparently got into it with his old man a few months ago and ended
up spending a couple of weeks in juvenile. Nobody's sure what happened.
But he WAS at the course a couple of weeks ago. And got himself kicked
off for the rest of the summer about an hour later. But not for anything
spectucular, he just called #5's new manager a damn mutherfucker. The
summer hasn't even started yet, and he's already got himself kicked off.

In fact, the ONLY member of last year's all-star team still playing at #5
is Russell, and I never liked him.

But having met the new manager, it's easy to see the reason for this mass
exodus, as he IS a damn mutherfucker. I didn't call him that, but he most
definitely is. David Saxon. A disgustingly wholesome physical fitness
freak who goes by the book.

And saving the best news for last, Matthew isn't playing at all. He has
another girl friend and this time they're going steady.

p.s.. But at least one good thing happened today. When I was walking back
from Matthew's, Gary McAteer almost ran over my ass. Well, he was
playing. But he sold me a quarter ounce. He's playing at Edina as well.
So in a day or so I might find my way out there. But I don't feel like it
right now.


Wednesday, June 8th... I don't want to be TOO melodramatic about how
things have turned out, so it's good that I didn't have much to say in
yesterday's entry. Let's just say I was upset. I didn't want to hang
around the course, so I went over to Holiday Inn and hung out in the
lobby. For about two hours. Where I was very much overwrought but at
least nobody knew me. Every fifteen minutes or so I'd try calling
Matthew's from a pay phone. No answer.

So after awhile I was getting some strange looks from the desk, so I went
to Super 8 next door and used THEIR pay phone for awhile. But still no
luck.

So finally I decided I'd just go over to his house and wait out front for
him. But what was I going to say? I have no idea. I guess I was hoping if
he realized just how crazy I was about him, he'd break down in tears or
something. Like something that happens in True Romance comic books. Only
I don't think they have any gay oriented ones. But anyway, he finally
showed up around six. Only I didn't talk to him too long because he had
his girl with him.

He's probably around 5-9 and still skinny. And his girl friend doesn't
look all that hot to me, but she has him wrapped around her little
finger, I mean he told her who I was and how we were both on the all-star
team last year, and she goes, "I don't want him playing that game this
year" and he shrugged and said, "Man, that place ain't nothing like it
was last summer anyway."

And I also got the impression he was afraid I'd say something he didn't
want said. But he needn't have worried. There wasn't anything I COULD
say.

So anyway, last night I spent a lot of time thinking of various ways I
might end up in intensive care. And of course Matthew was going to be out
in the waiting room for about 36 hours while I struggled for my life. And
when that girl shows up and starts bitching about it, he'll tell her to
just get the hell out of his life, that she has the sensitivity of a
common cockroach and he doesn't want to see her anymore. Well, I finally
pull through and so he comes in and takes my hand and says, "You dumb
ass, why in the hell did you do that for?" (I'd pushed him out of the
path of a speeding truck.)

And I'd say, "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. You OK?"

But right NOW I'm thinking I'll just let his girlfried save his butt. I
mean she can handle it, right?

So if nothing else, I'm feeling better than I did yesterday.


Friday, June 10th... By Wednesday night I was only a little depressed. It
was like a dull ache. Then around 8:30 I got a phone call. When Stephanie
came downstairs and said there was some boy wanting to speak to me and to
please hurry up, I just KNEW it was Matthew, so my heart was pitty
patting, but it turned out to be Austin. But that was still OK.

He's playing at Edina. But he was hoping I'd be up this summer, so he
decided to stop by #5 and Russell said he'd seen me. So he got David
Saxon to look up my JPPNA membership form from last summer which had Aunt
Esther's phone number on it. So how was I doing?

"Oh, OK, I guess" and so on, I mean we just talked for awhile with
Stephanie pacing around giving me meaningful looks and all. But he did
ask how long I'd be around and when I said until late August he went,
"Cool!" Which made me feel pretty good. And he wanted to know if I wanted
to go with him to Edina next morning to which I said sure. But since I
didn't know where he lived, we'd meet at #5, then take a city bus. I
didn't need to worry about wearing my APPNA shirt at Edina, because they
don't care, just like Martin and Ray Kohle didn't care last summer.
(Right. That's Amateur Putters. No age limit on that. And I could also
play JPPNA this year, but I'm not interested.)

David Saxon DOES care if we wear our official shirts and they'd better be
neatly tucked in too. But yesterday we found out he wasn't going to be
working until that night, so we decided to play there because it would be
easier to get my stroke down on a course I already know the shots on.
Donna Freeman, the perpetually cheerful Putt'n'Putt Birthday Party
Colonel with the big knockers was working the clubhouse. She still holds
that position, but this summer she's also the assistant manager. But
anyway, soon as she saw me she wanted me to give her a hug. And in a way
I'd like to be able to do that (it looks a bit more normal for one thing
and for another hugging her isn't what you'd call AWFUL) but I always
tighten up and it just embarrasses the shit out of me, so I tried to joke
my way out of it.

"Well!" I said, "I wouldn't DREAM of being so forward, but I'm glad to
see you. I AM. And I am doing very well. So are you well? ... How's
that?"

But she said, "J.J., you come here! I haven't seen you since last
summer!" and then when I just stood there and started blushing, she came
OUT of the clubhouse. Then I backed into the Coke machine. So she hugged
me. She seemed to be awfully enthusiastic about it too. Her boobs were
pressed right up in my face just about. But then she's in the National
Honor Society, so she always wears a bra.

Then she hugged Austin too. She's really bad about that. Only he hugged
her right back. I wish I could do that. I guess hugging me is about like
hugging a statue.

But anyway. She said she'd let us play but next time we'd have to wear
our official shirts. I had on my UNC shirt, Austin a tank top.

I never really paid much attention to Austin last summer, in fact, before
the playoffs I barely even noticed him. He wasn't the type who drew
attention to himself. But he was real cool when he was in our room during
the playoffs and he wasn't at all bad looking. So after he called me
Wednesday night I did wonder some if he'd started yet. I mean he IS
thirteen now, so no matter how small he was last summer, it might have
happened.

He's about the same size I am, really. (Which would put him right at five
feet even. So no, I ain't had my growth spurt yet. I'm up to 92 pounds.
Austin I'd say is a few pounds lighter.) And by the way, he has blonde
hair like Matthew, except he has black eyebrows.

Well, after we'd been out on the course for awhile, I just happened to
notice a semi-curly little black hair growing in his right armpit. And
TWO under his left. Which is three more than I've managed. I thought I
was seeing things at first, but they're there all right.

But around 2:30 David Saxon (better known as David Goodworker, even Donna
calls him that) drove up. He was dropping off the deposit bags or
something, but soon as he pulled up Austin said, "Well, it looks like our
practicing on THIS course is over."

Austin was kicked off for two days, for what that's worth, but since I'd
just joined the APPNA that morning, David said I could come back that
same day if I went home first and put on my official shirt and some
decent pants.

So I asked him, "What's wrong with my pants?" I mean I wasn't even
THINKING about coming back, I just wanted to mess with him a little.

"They look like something the Goodwill Store threw out" said David.

I said, "Yeah, they look cool, don't they?" I had on my raggedy jeans.
One knee's out, then there are a few other small holes here and there and
a small rip along the outside of my right thigh. But all that shows is a
little skin and about half an inch of underwear, so it shouldn't have
been a big deal.

"Look" said David, "Don't get smart with me. If you want to dress right
you can play here. If you don't, then stay home."

So I guessed I'd go home. I should have told him to go get fucked, and
eventually I will, but it'll be after the qualifying tournament at #5 on
July 2nd. For APPNAs there'll be one medal spot and two match play spots.
The Northern playoffs will be in New Haven, Connecticut July 24th. I
probably won't even try to qualify, but if I can find a ride, I might.
But even if I don't try to qualify, I'd still like to play in the
tournament. Because if Austin or me wins, David will be PISSED.

But I'm really not too upset about having to leave, because otherwise
some things that happened after all that might not have happened quite as
soon. I mean right now I'm fairly sure they WOULD'VE happened soon
enough, but it's ALREADY happening. And here I'd been thinking that the
whole damn summer was shot to hell.

See, after we got kicked off, it wouldn't have done much good to go to
Edina because he had to be home by 5:30. So we were sitting around over
at the Happy Heifer wondering if there was anything else to do when I
asked him, "Hey! You want to go over to my aunt's and go swimming
awhile?" (Her pool isn't anything like Matthew's but then you KNOW what
my motivation was on that deal, don't you?)

So once we figured out that his house was almost on the way to Aunt
Esther's anyway, he said, "Yeah, sure. That sounds OK. Why not?"

And from that point on it was just one surprise after another. First,
when we went by his house to pick up his trunks he asked if I wanted to
spend the night with him. We'd sleep on his water bed. While it isn't a
large one, I suppose it's bigger than a single. But not a whole lot
bigger.

So of course I said, "Yeah, I guess so, if it's all right with your
folks."

He said, "Well, I know it is, but you want me to call to make sure?"

And it was. Except he said I was invited to go out to a pizza place with
them around six. Which made me a little nervous, but he said they just
wanted to meet me, that's all.

And then when we were changing in my room, I discovered for sure that he
HAS started growing hair, even though nothing else seems to have grown.
His penis doesn't look much bigger than it did last year and his balls
are still little, but he has hair. Almost a little black bush.

But he was just as interested in seeing what I looked like now as I was
in him I think. He asked me, "So when did you start growing hair and
all?"

So I told him. His started about a month ago. And he said he wished his
pecker would start growing faster but he guessed it would before long.

Then after we finished swimming, things REALLY got interesting. Or at
least they ALMOST did. We came in from the pool around 4:15, so we had
plenty of time to get over to his house by 5:30, but he said maybe to
save time we ought to take a shower together. Only I chickened out. And
believe me, I'm really sorry I did that. But if I was ready to come out
with Matthew, it was because I figured the groundwork had already been
taken care of you know? But with anybody else, I just wasn't ready to
take that chance. Normal curiosity is one thing, but everybody isn't gay.
Not really. So I was glad I was going to have somebody I liked to hang
out with, spend a few nights at his house, sleep in the same bed, see him
naked, I mean shit, I'd gladly settle for that. And being the age we are,
things might eventually go further, but I was NOT going to take a chance
on messing everything up by popping one in the shower with him. That's
just the way I am.

So I said, "Well, we got enough time and really, I need to do a couple of
things downstairs, so you go ahead. I mean I won't take long, but I just
need to do a few things downstairs first, OK?" and he didn't press the
issue. So I piddled around a couple of minutes downstairs, then rushed
back to my room and transfered three files (stories) to a floppy disk
after hurriedly adding a few lines to one of them. I'd already noticed
that he had a computer in his room. And we'll get to those stories soon
enough. But for now let's just say I was planning to cautiously feel him
out on things.

Eating out went OK I guess. His father is a professor at the University
of Minnesota. Economics. Which sounds pretty boring, but he's cool. His
mom also works at U of M in the admissions department. They asked what
subjects I liked in school (history and literature, if you're at all
interested) and did I plan on going to college. (I'd LIKE to go to the
University of North Carolina.) And I didn't get pizza on myself. Austin
said later that they liked me a lot, he could tell. Yeah well, I can be
polite and respectful anytime I want to be.

After we went up to his room for the night, for awhile we played
Nintendo. Which I'm not any good at, so I admitted as much. He said he
could tell.

So, I wondered, would he by any chance like to see a couple of stories I
wrote?

"About what?"

Well, there was the ducknapping story; that's pretty good I think; then
there was the one about the great reel. Which is a great story, but now
that Ray Kohle and Martin are out of the picture I don't guess there's
any reason for me to include it in THIS story. But he thought they were
pretty good.

"So what's `The Sharon Mattson Incident' about?" he then asked.

Oh yeah. That one. The one I added a few lines to right at the start. But
it's not a story about girls. It isn't even a story about how I HATE
girls. It's about boys. I mean "Understanding Sex" is basically about
boys, even if every now and then I end up talking about ducks or
something. So "The Sharon Mattson Incident" is really about any boy I end
up showing the story to, even if it doesn't seem that way. Which
hopefully you'll understand better if you read the story yourself. Which
after a few deep breaths I let Austin read. Seriously, at times I am
HORRIBLY cautious, and I almost chickened out. I ALMOST said, "Well, I
might let you see it in a day or so. Because I'm not finished with it
yet, but if I DO finish, I'll let you see it then, OK?" But I DIDN'T say
that, no, I thought to myself, "Will you just quit being a little chicken
shit and let him see it?" so after one final deep breath, I did. And here
it is. Yeah, I know. It is about damn time. Well, here it is then. The
story.


I guess I might as well just come right out and say it. I'm shy around
girls. I mean I like them OK, but I really don't know how to play their
games and sometimes I'm not even sure if I WANT to. Maybe in a year or so
I might look at it differently, but right now I don't know.

And Sharon Mattson sure didn't help much. But then with HER, what else
could I expect anyway?

She goes to that Christian academy I have to go to. And the fact that
she's one of the few openly rebellious students there should work in her
favor, but it doesn't because I don't like her. I mean she's SORT of
cute, but she's also a little on the chubby side. Which I could forgive,
but always trying to act like she was so damn tough and worldly wise I
couldn't. It all went back to when I first moved to Atlanta, which was
when I WASN'T so worldly wise. To be honest, at age 11 I didn't know SHIT
about worldly things and even if I know more now it's still sometimes
difficult to ACT like I do. It has to do with my living at home and all.
So she was always picking at me. But actually that's what started it all,
she was trying to embarrass me.

See, she's on my paper route. So one afternoon I'd finished and on my way
home I decided to stop by her house because I needed to collect. They
were three weeks behind. So I knocked on their front door and I heard her
holler from inside, "Who is it?"

I'd been hoping I could avoid talking to her, I was HOPING one of her
legal guardians happened to be around so I could get my money, but I
yelled back through the door, "It is I, J.J., your faithful paperboy,
hoping that I might collect my paper bill." I was trying to be funny, but
when forced to ad lib, sometimes I fall flat on my face. And really, I
hated myself just as soon as those stupid words came out of my mouth.

She yelled back, "J.J., what in the shit are you babbling about and what
do you want?"

So I guessed her parents weren't home because she would NEVER say "shit"
if one of them was around. And I was pissed off because my attempt at
being funny had gone off so well plus I was pissed at her for acting the
way she was and I wasn't ABOUT to slink off when they owed me for three
damn weeks so I yelled back, "I SAID I WOULD LIKE TO COLLECT!"

"COLLECT WHAT?"

"THE PAPER BILL, DAMN IT!" I sure HOPED her parents weren't home.

"Wait a minute and I'll let you in, OK? I STILL can't understand a damn
thing you're saying."

So pretty soon she came to the door, wearing a terri-cloth robe with a
towel wrapped over her hair. "I was in the bathroom, so I couldn't
understand you" she explained, "Now what did you say?"

So I told her I was there to collect.

"Oh. Well, I think momma left your money on her dresser. So you want to
come in for a minute?"

If I was going to get paid, of course. I was a little surprised at her
sudden show of civility though.

Only a few moments later she came back out drying her hair with the towel
and said, "Well, I looked everywhere but I just don't see it, so I guess
you'll have to come back later. How much do we owe you, anyway?"

"$21.75" I answered and I got up to leave.

"What's your rush?" she asked. "You want a Coke or something?"

I didn't have any IDEA why she was suddenly acting so nice but I shrugged
and said yeah, I guessed that was OK. I DID wonder, but I can assure you
that I wasn't expecting anything nor was I HOPING for anything. But I was
thinking it would be cool if we at least got along.

So anyway when shortly after she returned with two Cokes, I was studying
the interior of her living room still wondering if she WAS expecting
something. And I fervently hoped she wasn't.

But you probably have already guessed that she was. You just don't know
what yet. Well, we sat across the room from each other thoughtfully
sipping our Cokes for a minute or so, then she started giggling. And of
course I started blushing. I did manage to look at her though and finally
I asked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing" she answered. But she was still giggling. And of course I
was trying to think of a half-graceful way to exit.

I couldn't think of any though, so finally I said, "Well if you're just
going to sit there laughing at nothing I guess I'll go home."

"Oh sit down a minute. You don't have to be anywhere yet, do you? I want
to ask you a question."

And THAT'S when I caught the first faint whiff of weirdness. I didn't
start getting stiff or anything close to that, to tell you the truth, I
was STILL trying to think of some way to get out of there, but I
couldn't, so I settled back down, looked directly at her and said, "OK.
Shoot."

In reply she about went into hysterics but finally she managed "Well,
OK... Well I was just wondering... well OK ..... how often do you beat
your meat?"

And no, that didn't give me an erection either. And I sure didn't answer,
at least not right away. I ALMOST shot back, "Well, how often do you beat
YOUR meat?", but then it occurred to me that girls don't do that. Beat on
it. It seems that they rub on it. I think I read something about that.
Well OK, I really don't know WHAT they do with it. But then boys don't
usually beat on their dicks either. You COULD swat it with a ping pong
paddle or something, but generally speaking there are better ways of
going about it. But anyway, for about forty-five seconds I just sat there
thinking.

So apparently she figured she had at long last totally embarrassed me so
she pressed her attack. She said, "Well, you DO beat on it, don't you?
Like I heard all boys do."

I shrugged and noncommittally replied, "Yeah, so I've heard."

"So you've HEARD? What do you mean, so you've heard? Aren't you a boy?"

I'll admit I walked right into that one. And it sure wasn't on purpose,
but I answered, "Last time I checked, I was."

"Well maybe you better check again."

"Well soon as I get home, I will."

"Why don't you just do it now?"

"Do WHAT now?"

"Check and see if you're a boy. I want to see it."

So I have thought about this a great deal, like why did I get an erection
just as soon as she said that? Well, I think the deal with Sharon was
that I didn't really care if she liked me or not; at least not THAT much;
(although I suppose I wanted her to at least be slightly impressed by my
penis), but it DID suddenly occur to me that just maybe here was an
excellent opportunity to do some things I'd never done before and it ALSO
occurred to me that she wasn't all THAT bad-looking after all. Reverse
sour grapes. Well, she really WASN'T I don't guess. She had straight
dirty blonde hair and matching eyebrows. And decent sized boobs too. I
could see a hint of pasty white cleavage and while her robe was securely
in place, it did seem to me that maybe things were moving around a little
more than was normally the case. So possibly she wasn't wearing anything
underneath. An interesting thought. And really, she was SORT of cute. In
a way, she was..

"So what do you say? Can I see it?"

.. And she certainly was a very forward girl. And I definitely had a
hard-on. So finally I found my tongue again. "Why? Haven't you ever seen
one before?" I had to say that just in case she was just teasing. Which
she probably was, I reminded myself.

"No. Not really. So can I see it?"

I was really surprised. I mean I just assumed since she talked dirty she
must have seen a lot of them. And I was also surprised that she would
admit that she hadn't. So maybe I could admit that I hadn't seen any
girls before either. Hardly any at all. "Well, I might. But I .. well,
actually I haven't ever seen a girl either... Naked, I mean."

"I figured you'd say that... Well... I might." (Tension mounted.)... "OK.
I WILL.. if.. well, you have to take your pants off first... And I want
to see you jack off. Will you do it?"

I was flabbergasted. And also leery. What if I took my pants off and then
she started laughing and said she just wanted to see if I was actually
stupid enough to do it and she wasn't ABOUT to take her clothes off? So
I'm not sure how long I sat there weighing the pros and cons and getting
red, but eventually all I could manage was, "I'm not sure if I trust
you."

"Well, I'm not sure I trust you either" she answered, then SHE sat there
thinking about it for awhile, then after clearing her throat once or
twice she said, "Well OK. How about this? You can leave your underpants
on. Well, what I mean is... you get down to your underpants, OK? Then
once you do that I'll go ahead and take off my robe. And... I mean I
don't have anything else on. I mean I was just getting out of the
shower... so anyway .. after I take off my robe then you've got to
promise me that you'll go ahead and take off your underpants. So will you
do that?"

It is curious how her saying "underpants" gave me a charge. My boner
seemed to be wilting once faced with all those unforeseen amendments of
her's, then she said "underpants" three times and like magic it was
galvanized again. Well, of course she also said she would go ahead and
get naked before I had to take my underpants off but... well, UNDERPANTS
is what my mom calls the things. Not that I want to see my mom naked,
but... oh no. Maybe I want HER to see ME... No I don't. Well, maybe I do.
But I don't act on it. That's an infantile fixation I bet. And it's also
subconscious. Most of the time.  Just about always. But anyway,
(returning to Sharon's living room), finally I shrugged and promised her
I would. I said, "Yeah, I guess so."  But of course I was only promising
that I would get down to my underpants and then after she got naked I
would take them off. I didn't mention jacking off because I didn't think
I could do that. Unless maybe I got something else out of it. I wasn't
sure exactly what else I might ask for but we could always talk about
that later.

"Well, go ahead" she encouraged.

Nervously I bent down and untied my shoes. And then of course I removed
them. I stood up and looking steadily down at the floor, rather calmly
unfastened the waist of my pants. I paused. And by now you MUST know I
would do this. I glanced at her. She seemed very interested, in fact I
think she was watching with rapt attention. "Well OK" I said, then
stifling a sigh of resignation and looking rather steadily at her all the
while (and she was gazing steadily at my midsection) I pulled off my
pants. And it hadn't gone flat on me. I was aware of THAT even before I
glanced down. I was relieved, but at the same time I was glad I was
wearing my size L Chicago Bulls tee shirt. It was like a short skirt.

"And take your shirt off too. I mean I can't really see anything" said
Sharon. You just knew she was going to say that, didn't you? Well, I
wasn't too surprised either.

"And then you'll... keep your end of the bargain?"

"I said I was, didn't I?"

Fortunately I was wearing my good underpants that day, almost new in
fact, and since I could feel my penis straining against the fabric just
below my waistband, I was sure it hadn't escaped. As I pulled my shirt up
over my head I said, "I... I guess you know I haven't really done this
before."

"Me neither" said Sharon from across the room.

I pulled my shirt clear of my head and for the moment being afraid to
look down at myself, instead glanced over to where she was still seated
and... she had taken off her robe. That sure was quick.

"So what do you think?" she asked.

"You look nice" I answered. And I was being sincere. After all, I'd never
been in the same room with a naked female before.

The very first thing I noticed (aside from the fact she was actually
NAKED) was the expanse of chalky whiteness that went from just below her
neck to about halfway down to her knees. The overall effect was somewhat
jarring. But then my eyes were drawn down between her legs. And that was
a little jarring as well. Her dark brown thatch was EXTREMELY bushy. Long
and curly. Bushy long. I really like the ones in Penthouse better, but I
guess her's was OK. It covered her v entirely. Then there were her
breasts. They were fairly large. Bigger than I expected really. Actually
I like small pert cones that quiver just a little better than big ones,
but what the heck. I guess they were at least 36s. Her aureoles were big
and her nipples were shockingly pink. The tips stuck out about half an
inch. So I don't know, I guess they looked pretty interesting.

I also noticed that she was just a bit on the flabby side, but it didn't
bother me much. I sure didn't lose my hard-on.

But after I gawked at her for maybe thirty seconds she said, "So I guess
it's your turn again."

"Yeah, I guess it is" I answered... "Well, OK.."

"But let's go to my room first, OK?... I mean I'm positive we don't have
anything to worry about, but just so we're completely safe, we'll go into
my room, OK? Get your clothes and let's go."

So while I was following her to her room I got my first look at her ass.
It was kind of flabby. It almost was a mistake looking at it, because by
the time we got to her room I was just about soft again. And her room was
right down the hall. But then she closed the door and locked it. And then
I started getting stiff again.

Then she turned and said, "Let me pull them off of you. OK?"

"You mean my underpants?"

"No, your socks dumb-ass.... Yes, your underpants. Can I?" She was
hovering right next to me.

"I guess so" I said doubtfully.

"Well I'm not going to bite you, you know. You scared?"

"No, but-"

"So OK." ZIP.  They were down. I glanced at my penis which was still
swaying as the result of her yanking my underpants down so forcefully and
noted that it had returned to straight out.

"God, J.J., it's big!" (Whereupon I think it got a little bigger.) "Can I
feel it?" (And at that point it started rising up again. She sure seemed
to have a way with it.) Then she took it in her hand and began to closely
examine it like it was an exhibit at a museum.

"Do you care if I jack you off?"

After a moment of stunned silence I managed, "No, but can I-"

"So what do you do?"

"Well, I don't know, you just pull on it.. but can-" (Then she just about
jerked me off my feet.) "Damn! Don't pull it loose!"

She started giggling. "Well, then you do it just long enough to show me
how, then let me. OK?"

"Well can I feel-"

"I'll let you for just a second but that's all" and with that, she took
my hand, pushed it into the upper reaches of her bush and held it there
for a few seconds. Held it there firmly and although I certainly tried,
my fingers could not reach down into her apex. So close, yet so far. Then
she said, "OK. That's enough" and REMOVED my hand.

"Well damn. If you're going to-"

"You can play around with my boobs all you want, OK? Now show me how you
jack yourself off. Just do it for a few seconds, OK?"

"Well can I at least SEE it?"

"See what?"

"See between your legs."

"No."

"Well forget it then."

Of course I was bluffing but she didn't know that. So she thought about
it for a few moments, then she said, "Oh shit. Well if you're going to
act like a baby, you can see it, but you just better NOT try putting your
hand down there. Now here's wha-"

"Well I don't see why-"

"NO damn it! Now you sit on the floor and stretch your legs out in front
of you, then I'll sit on top of them and I'll have my legs opened up, OK?
And you can mess with my boobs all you want to, for as long as I'm
jacking you off, OK? Now show me how you do it."

I sat down doubtfully and stretched my legs out. "Well, don't you think
we-"

"No I don't. Now be still. I'm going to sit on you."

I was going to suggest that maybe she ought to get some Kleenex or
something but I guessed if she didn't care about it then neither did I.
So she sat on my knees with her knees drawn up. It was kind of
uncomfortable with her sitting on me like that. And I never did really
see up inside although I guess I saw both her labia majora and minora.
She had hair on her majora. I'm not sure if I saw her clitoris or not.
But anyway, I gave my penis a couple of pulls, then she took over. It
reminded me of someone milking a cow. And while I found her mammaries to
be slightly interesting, apparently I didn't get her all that hot. I was
hoping I would so she'd let me feel down between her legs, but at any
rate, I held out for as long as I could but finally it.. sort of boiled
over. All over her hand. Making it explode would have been a whole lot
better, but her technique really sucked. But anyway, at that point she
got really pissed and acted like she hated me. She never would have
anything to do with me after that, she wouldn't even TALK to me, so in
that respect I guess things worked out pretty good after all.


So why would I have been a bit hesitant about letting Austin see this you
might be asking yourself. And you might also be asking yourself just
exactly what the purpose of that story was anyway. I mean you MIGHT be,
so just in case, here goes.

One- If I knew beforehand that somebody like say Matthew seemed to be
getting experienced in the boy-girl routine, then I would just assume
that he wasn't all that interested in any boy-boy stuff and I didn't want
Austin making that assumption. I mean I wasn't exactly coming right out
and saying that I was available, but if you want to read between the
lines then I guess you would have to admit that it wasn't out of the
question.

And two- I was discussing whacking off right openly, don't you think?
Well, certainly more so than has previously been the case, and we already
know just how well my NOT bringing the subject up has worked.

But then based on my past behavior you should also know why I would still
be hestitant about letting Austin see this. ONE of these days I might
actually reach the point of being able to just come right out with it,
but it still seems to be a ways off.

So did my devious plan work? Well, apparently it didn't HURT anything.
Even if his only comment was that it was a good story. But maybe it sort
of opened up the channel of communication.

At first after we got into bed we just talked. Mostly I talked. I didn't
intend to tell him anywhere near what all I did, but I guess I was
nervous so I ended up telling him about how I found myself at the
academy, or at least a lot of it, like getting busted and how I got into
that shit in the first place just because I wanted to be cool. I didn't
go into bloody detail, but I also told him about Brother Furnier and
Sister Farrar and how I had trouble keeping my big mouth shut and the
paddle and how once I sort of lost it and put my left arm through
Furnier's office door window. Stuff like that.

But anyway, after awhile he wanted to know if I still got high.

So I lied, "Not right now, no. I haven't since my old man found out about
it, no way. Like they have mandatory drug screens at the academy, and if
I ever turned up positive, my old man would flat out KILL my ass."

"So he's not going to be around for a couple of months" Austin says.

"Are you trying to tell me YOU GET HIGH?"

"NO! Well, I tried it once, but I just wondered if you were going to do
it this summer, that's all."

He'd TRIED IT? And he was just wondering if I was going to do it this
summer? So I said, "I haven't gone looking for anything yet but I might."

"Don't" he said.

Oh. Well, it sort of looked like I was off on the wrong track then.

He nudged my feet with his, then left them over my ankles. "Just say you
won't, OK? I know about wanting to be cool and all, but don't. OK?"

Well, I'd just about smoked up that quarter ounce anyway. And for the
most part all I got out of it was some very intense attacks of paranoia.
Which really ain't all that much fun. So I didn't have to think about it
too long. I said, "Oh, that stuff can make you pretty paranoid anyway. At
least it sure worked out that way with me. So OK, I promise. You don't, I
won't."

"Deal" he said.

You see, while we were talking I don't guess we were ever much more than
a few inches apart, but until he started playing footsie, we were very
polite about our close proximity. What I mean is that fairly often in
shifting about to get comfortable our shoulders or our legs or our arms
or something would make contact and while neither one of us seemed to
flinch, after about a second or so there would be an almost imperceptible
moving away. So that connecting at the feet was the first contact not
broken off. And while it wasn't mentioned, I sensed that if I DIDN'T
swear off illegal drugs, he'd move his feet.

But still, I guess all that seriousness embarrassed him some, because
pretty soon he broke off foot contact.. and draped his legs over my legs.
That was nice. And he said, "Damn, your cousin is really cute, you know
that?" (Stephanie showed up just before we left for his house.)

"You mean Stephanie?"

"I guess so. How old is she anyway?"

"Thirteen. I've seen her naked a couple of times."

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"Oh... well..." and I thought about it.

"Like start at the very beginning" said Austin, "even if you're making it
all up." Now his thighs were across my thighs and if he kept it up,
pretty soon BOINK.. he was going to collide with you know what. Which
could have been because I was thinking about Stephanie. Well, if nothing
else, it was a good excuse if I needed one. (And in case you're
wondering, I was in just my jockey shorts while he still had his boxers
on, but he'd pulled on a loose pair of cutoff sweats over them.)

But there's been enough about girls in this chapter so I'll spare you the
details, except to say that I made up some fairly lurid stuff. And it
seemed to be having the desired effect. And then some, because all at
once we were lying on our sides facing each other with my left thigh
sandwiched between HIS thighs, and honest, I'm not even sure when that
happened, he just kept getting closer and closer, that's all. And I could
feel his breath and DAMN! I sure can fall in love in a hurry. Shit, if he
got any closer, we were going to be right up AGAINST each other and by
then I was pretty sure he was going to be every bit as hard as I was.

But then all at once he disengaged himself and rolled over on his back.
So with mixed emotions, I did likewise. Didn't have long to wallow in
those emotions though, because all at once he said, "Damn! You made me
get horny!"

"Well, I think I got myself horny too" I allowed.

"Hmm" said Austin. Then after a short pause, "So you don't have to tell
me if you don't want to, but like... well, just about everybody does
it... when they get to be our age, I mean... so do you ever jerk off?"

"Uh huh. Just about all the time." So see, I'm getting a little braver.
Then I added, "So do you?"

"Well, I just said I did, didn't I? ... So do you wanna?"

"Yeah, I guess." (Well, don't expect a damn miracle, OK?)

"Well, let's do it then!"

So we did. He pulled his cutoffs and boxers off completely, I yanked my
shorts off, then side by side we stroked ourselves off. But no, I didn't
suggest doing each other. Maybe later. Really, I'll bring it up
eventually if he doesn't first, but anyway, I still thought it was
awfully nice. Several steps back from where I hoped to be with Matthew,
but certainly beyond my expectations with Austin. WAY beyond. He was
watching me and I was watching him. He squirted, I squirted. He still
can't produce a whole lot, and it's pretty thin, but then I don't know
for sure if mine's mature yet either. And in case you're interested (I
sure was) his little pencil dick gets to almost four inches hard. I'm
just over five inches. And I don't guess I should be talking about him
having a pencil dick either, since mine is still skinny as well, even if
it's not as skinny as his. But I sure HOPE mine gets a lot bigger around.
It probably will, but I have no idea when.

But anyway, Austin then wiped himself off with his boxers, then handed
them to me so I could wipe myself off. Then he tossed them on the floor,
pulled his cutoffs back on and that was that. Except "So that was cool,
wasn't it? I mean with us watching each other do it, didn't you think
that was cool?"

"Yeah" I said, "That was WAY cool" and like I said, I can sure think of
much cooler things, but at least there's hope. Which just beats the SHIT
out of how I saw the situation a couple of days ago.

But when we woke up this morning, I WAS a little worried that maybe he'd
be having second thoughts and would be avoiding eye contact and all that,
but really, he acted like nothing much had happened.

He said, "Well, did you sleep good?"

So after I said I did (which was the truth), he said "Well, mom and dad
are already at work. They'll be home around noon and I have to be packed
by then but if you want to, you can stay around awhile. You want to,
don't you?" (I forgot to mention that they're going up to Lake Superior
on a short min-vacation. It's no biggie though, he'll be back next
Wednesday.)

And he asked me to write him a LONG story. He said, "Well like this is if
you want to, but while I'm gone could you write a LONG fantasy? You said
you would, you know." (I said I MIGHT.) "I mean, you know," he continued,
"set the scene, and don't have the girl getting naked on the second page;
because I want some FOREPLAY; but EVENTUALLY they end up getting it on.
You think you could do that?"

Well, the story was pretty much written already. A LONG story. About 167k
I think. Really, I can write GOOD boy-girl stories, which is sort of
amazing, since when I wrote it I hadn't even had my first cum yet. I mean
don't worry, I'm not going to inflict it on you, but while I was at that
treatment center there was this girl named Amy in there. When I first saw
her, I thought she was a he. So that should explain a lot. I think
androdgyny is pretty cool, actually. But I made up this story about her
in which I was making up ANOTHER story just for her about a Nicholas and
a Renee, like she would read an installment, then she'd comment about it
and then we'd mess around with each other. Which was a progressive sort
of thing, just as my Nicholas and Renee story was. I wanted to show it
Aaron, but he wasn't much of a reader, and on this subject he also didn't
seem to be much of a listener, but I DID show it to a couple of boys in
my neighborhood. It worked out great. They got all horny and we ended up
jerking ourselves off. But I decided not to include it in this journal
because I really didn't like them that much, and anyway after the deed
was done they were telling me I'd better NOT ever say anything about it
to anyone else, so if that's all there was to it, why bother? And
besides, they did themselves while I did myself, but they were acting
pissed because they saw me LOOKING at them, but see, before losing
control Ellis said it was the hottest story he'd ever HEARD.

So all I really have to do with this story is copy it to another file and
then in one file make replacements so the adventures of me and Amy become
the adventures of AUSTIN and Amy. And I'm about to tell you how that idea
came up.

Not long before I left we were on the floor talking. I was mostly trying
to get some general ideas about what he might like to see in that long
story.

He said, "Well, for one thing, I want you to be real descriptive about
EVERYthing, what she looks like, what it FEELS like, and like I said,
build it up SLOWLY, you know what I mean?"

I blew an pretty impressive bubble with my bubble gum, then popped it.
"Yeah, I think so."

"And why don't you put ME in the story?"

"You want me to?"

"Yeah, sure, as long as I get laid, I do."

"Well, oK. I'm not going to give the story away, but you WILL have fun, I
promise."

"And why don't you put yourself in the story, too?"

So I thought about it, then I said, "Well, if you stop to think about it,
I would HAVE to be in the story, because I really don't know how your
warped little mind works, so when you're with the girl, I guess you'll
pretty much end up reacting like I probably would. How's that sound?"

"Doesn't sound much like I'm going to get laid."

"Well... you might. Course if you don't stop being a wise-ass, you might
end up-"

Then he started wrestling on me. And the thing was he was still wearing
just those cutoffs, so in no time at all, his little pecker was out in
the open; I mean it was pretty much ALL exposed, his bush and everything;
but he didn't act like he even noticed. He didn't get hard or anything,
but I sure did. Only I was dressed by then. And I didn't grab anything
even if I was tempted. Well, I did have my hand on his ass very briefly,
but that was only because I was trying to get him off of on top of me.
Which didn't help my hard-on any. But anyway, after a minute or so he
quit. Wrestling on me, I mean. So we were just on the floor side by side
catching our breath. I was staring up at the ceiling and I think he was
too, but pretty soon he admitted he really had no idea why girls acted
the way they did, he liked them, but he didn't know how to play their
games and he really wasn't too sure he WANTED to. Just like me.

"Yeah, it's hard to figure out" I said.

"So I guess we'll just have to do the best we can" he said, then all of a
sudden he just leaned over and KISSED me. Well, it was just a little peck
on my cheek, but I just about swallowed my bubble gum. And I almost
choked in another way too, because for a few seconds I just froze, but
then I gave him a peck on HIS cheek. Very shyly I guess, but I did. Then
we started giggling.

Austin said, "We're hopeless, you know that?"

"Yeah, and we're probably insane too" I added.

But anyway, not long after that he said he guessed he'd better start
getting packed and his folks would probably be back pretty soon, so I
guessed it was time to go. He said he'd be back fairly early Wednesday
afternoon and he'd call me just as soon as he got back. And I'd BETTER be
home.

And as I walked back home I was on cloud nine again. And as SOON as I got
back into my room I had one fan-TASTIC jerk off. Even if I couldn't make
it last very long. I was spraying almost before I even got started.



So I hope this chapter wasn't too disappointing. And even if it was,
things should start picking up fairly soon. As long as you aren't
expecting a total change in character.

jjjanicki@gmail.com