Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2002 12:07:28 -0700 (PDT) From: Thomas Gaige <togaige@yahoo.com> Subject: Wade Grows Up - Chapter Sixteen - My Son Connor - Part Two DISCLAIMER: The following story is FICTIONAL. It contains descriptions of sexual activities between men, teenage boys, and sometimes between men and boys. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then please DON'T READ IT! If you choose to read it, then please enjoy. More chapters will follow. WADE GROWS UP Chapter Sixteen - My Son Connor - Part II ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A few days after I was released from the hospital, I had to go to the doctor for a check-up. He had me strip down and lie on the exam table. He examined my incisions and said they were OK, but he wanted to leave the stitches in a couple more days. As he explained this, he started to massage my penis, which was already semi-erect. I was hard as a rock within a couple of pulls from his hand. He continued to masturbate me, and I felt his hard cock pressing against my arm. I pulled my hand back and began to massage his dick through his dress slacks. His dick was throbbing, aching to be released from its prison of fabric. I unzipped the doctor's fly, unbuckled his belt, and unfastened the button on the waistband of his slacks. They fell to the floor. I stuck a finger in the waistband of his boxers and pushed down, and they too fell to the floor on top of his slacks. I then grabbed his now free hardon and began masturbating him, as he continued to masturbate me. After a couple of minutes he stopped and said "Hang on a minute". Then he stepped on the back of his left loafer with his right heel, and pulled the shoe off. He repeated this for the right shoe, He stepped out of his pants and boxers, and removed his lab coat. Before I knew it, he'd climbed up on the exam table and was on his hands and knees over top of me, facing my feet. He had one knee planted on either side of my shoulder, and his throbbing dick, which was drippping a drop of precum, was right over my mouth. I felt his mouth engulf my raging hardon, and leaned up and swallowed his hard dick with my mouth. With my hands I played with his balls, and started fingering his asshole. He pushed back a little against my finger, and it poked right through his sphincter and into his rectum. I started finger fucking him as I sucked. I felt his finger probing between my cheeks now too, so I spread my legs as far apart as I could, without them falling off the exam table. This gave the doctor just enough room to work in, and I felt his finger begin to invade my own rectum! He started to fuck my asshole with his finger as he sucked me off, just as I was doing to him. We continued for a few minutes sucking and fingerfucking each other, when I began to feel his cock getting even harder and bigger. I knew he was getting ready to shoot his wad. I started to feel like I was going to shoot as well. Then without warning, cum started to flood my mouth, and the doctor's anus clamped down on my finger as he began ejaculating. The onset of the doctor's orgasm, caused me to shoot my own load up into his mouth, my asshole clamping his finger as well. Moaning, and grunting we both continued to pump our seed into each other's mouths. After a minute, we both began to come down from our orgasms and pulled off each other's cocks, and our fingers from each other's assholes. The doctor clambered off the table and stood up. Then he turned to wash his hands. I got up and stood behind him, and playfully started to rub the head of my dick up and down his ass crack. He pressed his ass back toward me, and his cheeks opened enough for the head of my cock to enter between them and press against his hole. I couldn't believe I was starting to get hard again, but I was. There was a small amount of cum that had leaked out of my piss slit yet, which lubricated the doctor's ass hole. I pressed forward, and my cock slid right up inside him, surprising him somewhat, as he gasped and cried out. He looked back at me and said "can you go again?" I said "let's find out!". "OK - but here - use some lube" he said, handing me a tube of lube. I greased my dick up and pressed the head of it back up against the doctor's anus, then I shoved my dick into the doctor's bowels as deep as I could go - right up to the hilt, as he let out a loud groan. Gently I began shoving my dick in and out of him, as he leaned over the counter, moaning. His rectum felt to me like it was on fire, it was so hot as it surrounded my stiff poker. I started going faster, ramming in and out of his hole with my huge rod. I could feel my cum starting to flow into my dick. Another few shoves, and groaning I collapsed over the doctor's back, still thrusting my hips back and forth, my dick spewing another load of cum deep inside the doctor's bowels. As I ejaculated, I felt the doctor's anus squeezing my cock rythmically, as he too shot another load of his own juice. When we were both finished, I slowly stood up, and my now softening penis slid out of his rectum. His hole had been so ravaged, it didn't completely close up at first. It just kept opening and closing, as I saw some of my cum begin to leak out, and down over the back of the doctor's scrotum. He reached for a paper towel and wiped himself, then offered me one. I wiped my dick as clean as I could. Then we both dressed. He told me to come back in a couple days and his intern would remove the stitches. I said I'd be back. We both grinned. Then he left. I finished getting dressed and left too. Connor was home from the hospital now. He was still very weak though. His doctor recommended a therapist help him get into shape again, so Shirley hired one to come over each day and work with Connor. I met the therapist, who was a very young, very good looking guy named Robbie, on his third visit. He and Connor got along very well. He would help Connor change into shorts and a "T" Shirt, then he'd work him out, then help him shower, and get redressed. It seemed to be helping Connor - he seemed to be getting stronger. One day I was watching Connor as Shirley was working, and Mary had to go someplace. Robbie came over while I was there. He took Connor upstairs to do their thing, while I made lunch. After about 45 minutes I went up to see what they were up to. As I neared Connor's room, I heard them talking. I heard Robbie telling Connor he had a nice penis. I froze. I wanted to hear what else was going to happen. "Thanks" Connor said, then he added "um Robbie, could I see your's?" "I guess" Robbie said, "but you can't tell anyone I showed you, OK?" "OK" Connor said. I heard Robbie unfastening his belt and unzipping his fly, then Connor exclaiming "Wow! You got a really big one! Can I touch it?" "I guess" Robbie said. Then I heard Robbie moan lowly. "Did I hurt you?" Connor asked sharply. "No! You can touch it again" said Robbie, "it felt really good when you did that." Then Robbie moaned again. His moaning continued, as Connor said "Wow! It gets really big when it gets a boner!" Robbie giggled, then asked "Can I see you get a boner?" "I guess" said Connor. "No! Wait - I have a easy way for you to get one - want me to show you?" Robbie asked. "OK" chirped Connor, obviously enjoying this sex play. "What are you gonna do, eat it?" I heard Connor cry rather loudly. "Shhh!" said Robbie, "No! I promise this won't hurt!" "OK" Connor said rather apprehensively. Then I heard sucking sounds, and Connor began groaning lowly, "OH GOD Robbie! That feels so good!" I snuck toward the door and peaked through the crack between it and the door jamb. Connor was lying on his bed, on his back, completely naked. His legs were spread apart, and Robbie was kneeling between them and was bent over Connor sucking on Connor's little hardon. From the look on Connor's face, I could tell he was enjoying it. I saw Robbie slide his hand down and slip a finger between my son's ass cheeks. "Eww! That feels good too" Connor cooed, as Robby began massaging his little anus. Robbie's head was bobbing up and down slightly as his mouth sucked up and down the boy's 3" hardon. I saw Connor begin to move his hips up and down off the bed, in a fucking motion, as the feeling of Robbie's ministrations intensified for him. He was flushed, and had his eyes closed. His head was tilted back. He was breathing deeply and quickly. "Oh My God Robbie, stop I think I gotta pee!" Robbie didn't stop though, he just reached up and squeezed Connor's arm. Connor was obviously approaching his orgasm, and Robbie continued sucking his dick, and fingering his hole. Connor was squirming and starting to thrash about a little. His face screwed up. "C'mon, I'm gonna pee in your mouth man!" he pleaded. Robbie continued, and suddenly, Connor's face contorted, and his body arched up off the bed as he growled "Oh God! OH! OOOHHHHHH!!!!!" Robbie continued sucking on Connor's dick and massaging his asshole, until Connor's orgasm finally subsided. Then he finally stopped and sat back up. "What did you just do to me?" Connor asked, looking up into Robbie's eyes, "I never felt anything like that before - it was Great!" Robbied grinned down at my boy and said "you just had your first orgasm - that's what happens when you have sex!" "Well I wanta have more of those!" Connor piped up! Robbie laughed. I pulled back from the door. "We gotta get dressed now" said Robbie, "And remember - don't tell anyone anything about this. I like you a lot Connor, and I'm happy I could make you feel so good, but if you tell anyone, I'll get in a lot of trouble - OK?" "OK" Connor said. I snuck back down the stairs. A few minutes later they both came down the stairs, looking flushed, but happy. "Good session guys?" I asked looking right into Robbie's eyes. "It was the best dad, I had my firs-" Connor started to say. Robbie cut him off, by saying "that's right Mr. Rueland, he had his first time he did 10 pushups." Robbie glared at Connor, who looked back at him apologetically. I wasn't sure exactly what to do. Robbie only had another week or so to work with Connor, then he'd be gone. He hadn't hurt Connor, and in fact Connor had had a really good time. I was going to be babysitting for the next few days anyway, so I decided to drop it and see what happened the next day. The next day, after Robbie had been upstairs only a few minutes with Connor, I snuck up. Connor's door was adjar again. I could hear them talking. Robbie was putting Connor through his exercises. Connor was saying "I mean it - I never told anyone about yesterday. Can we do it again? Please?" "We'll see, let's finish our exercises first though" Robbie replied. "I want to do it to you today too" Connor said. "Um, well, I suppose we've done enough exercises then for today - that'll be enough of a workout for you then." said Robbie. "Yay" shouted Connor. "OK take off your clothes then, we'll do it now, before I get you showered and dressed." Robbie said. "OK - you take your's off too Robbie" said Connor. "I can't," he said, "What if your father starts to come up here?" "Oh" said Connor. "Um Connor - you really sure you want to suck on my penis?" Robbie asked, "I mean it's a little different for a guy my age, you know when you felt like you had to pee yesterday, then it felt really good?" "Yeah" said Connor. "Well, when you get a little older, you'll start to squirt sperm when that happens. I'm old enough so I do." said Robbie. "Cool" said Connor, "I wanta see that!" "Well OK," said Robbie, "but when I tell you to stop, you stop, and I'll take care of the rest myself OK?" "OK" said Connor. I heard Robbie unfastening his pants, and the sound of them hitting the carpeting. "Wow! ARe you big when you get hard!" Connor exclaimed, "and you're hairy too - like my dad." "You will be too in a few years" Robbie said. "OK- what do I do?" Connor asked. "Well - if you're sure you want to - you just take my penis in your mouth, and suck on it - like it's a popsicle or something. You slide your mouth up and down it, like I did for you yesterday, but be careful not to scrape me with your teeth" Robbie instructed. I moved to the crack in the door, as I heard Robbie moan "yeah, that's how to do it boy!" I peered in and Robbie was standing with his pants and briefs around his ankles. My son was on his knees in front of Robbie, sucking on his hard dick. He wasn't able to get much more than the head of it in his mouth. "Connor, give me your hand too" Robbie said. "No keep sucking, now use your hand like this." then he wrapped Connor's little hand around the shaft of his penis and showed him how to jerk him off as he sucked on the head of his penis. Connor started jerking Robbie off, and went back to sucking on Robbie's penis head. Robbie resumed moaning. Robbie had his head back and was rubbing Connor's hair with both hands, gently pressing his head back and forth on his dick. Connor must've been a good cocksucker, because within a minute, Robbie was obviously approaching his orgasm and hollered for Connor to stop, and pushed him back. He then jerked himself off. A few strokes later he spewed his load of cum all over the floor, much to my son's amazement! "Man - that was so cool!" Connor exclaimed once Robbie had finished, and was pulling his pants back up. "you'll be able to do that in a few years" Robbie told him, "Now - how about I do you again?" "Oh yeah!" Connor said, and jumped up on the bed and laid back, waiting for Robbie to service him. Robbie chuckled. "I want to show you something a little different first though - I promis you'll like it - OK?" "OK" Connor answered smiling up at the young man. "Here, push your legs up, so your knees are up against your chest" Robbie said, "That's it, now just relax and enjoy this." Then he knelt behind Connor and lowered his face toward Connor's pink little rosebud. Ever so gently he began licking Connor all over between his ass cheeks, completely avoiding his asshole, but slowly moving in toward it. Connor wasn't making a sound, but suddenly Robbie licked straight up Connor's ass crack, at its deepest depth, his tongue running right over Connor's asshole. Connor let out a moan as Robbie's soft tongue made contact with his hole. Robbie began licking at Connor's hole then and Connor began moaning and squirming, trying to force his butt closer to the tongue that was giving him so much pleasure. I was surprised to find my hand squeezing my own, also hard cock. As I watched the action, my hand began to knead at my dick. After Robbie had thoroughly washed Connor's hole for a while, he stopped, and started to finger the hole. It didn't take much effort, and he soon had inserted his index finger up inside my son's ass hole. Connor let out a gasp, as the tip of Robbie's finger entered him, but soon was moaning in pleasure as Robby began gently finger fucking him. Robbie then started sucking on Connor's hard penis. By then, I had my own hardon out and was stroking it. I could feel the cum churning inside me already, as Robbie began sucking on my boy's cock. Connor started moaning and whimpering from the pleasures he was feeling. His little body was humping up and down off the bed, trying to force his dick deeper still in Robbie's mouth, and Robbie's finger deeper still up into his rectum. Robbie, for his part, sucked away on Connor's entire little cock, and gave him his whole finger up this asshole. I was getting close to cumming, and I could tell by the contorted look on Connor's face that he was too. Suddenly, He gasped "here I go!" and then he was thrashing around whimpering and groaning in the throes of his orgasm. I suddenly climaxed myself, firing my first shot of cum clear across the hall and onto the woodwork by another door. I climaxed right along with my son! Soon as I stopped, I put my dick back and using my hands wiped up the cum I'd shot all over the place. I got back down the stairs just as I heard Connor and Robbie entering the bathroom for Connor to shower. I got myself cleaned up and was sitting at the kitchen table when they both descended. Connor looked like he had been crying. I was immediately alarmed! I leapt up and grabbed Robbie bellowing "What did you do to him?" Robbie looked terrified, so did Connor. "No Dad - Don't!" Connor screamed, "he didn't do anything." I backed down a little, still glaring at Robbie who looked ready to piss his pants. "Today's Robbie's last day" Connor explained, "He won't be coming over anymore - I'm all done!" "Oh!" I said, feeling a bit embarassed, "Um - sorry - it's just that he was crying and well - you know what I was thinking." "It's OK" said Robbie. I apologized again, and Robbie told me that his time working with Connor was over and Connor was going to be fine now. I thanked him, and we all said Good-bye. Connor's eyes filled with tears again, and he threw himself into Robbie's arms. I heard him whisper to Robbie "I'll never forget you." "Me either" Robbie whispered back, then he kissed Connor on the forehead, before looking at me and turning red in the face. "Bye" he said hoarsely and went out the door. Connor turned to me, and walked over and wrapped his arms around me. "I won't ever see him again" he said, "he's moving away in a couple weeks too." I hugged Connor and said, "Well, the good news is, that you're getting better and we have a lot of fun things we can do together! He smiled then, and we went out to the kitchen to eat lunch. We never did hear from Robbie again. I spent the rest of the summer taking care of Connor, often at my house, once he was better. Many times, the boys from the neighborhood would come over and we'd all play or swim together. As the summer passed by Connor's strength returne, and in fact he became healthier and stronger than ever, according To Shirley and Mary. Eventually, Shirley and I ended up talking about ourselves with each other. I felt I'd best explain that I was gay, as her mother kept wondering why I didn't have a girlfriend, and Connor was beginning to fantasize about his mother and I getting married. Shirley then admitted to me that she was a lesbian. Nobody knew though - not even her mother. We decided that for a while at least we'd keep these revelations to ourselves. The neighborhood boys were careful not to talk about sex, or their knowledge of my orientaion, in front of Connor. Connor and I became closer than I ever could have expected a father and son to be. He started overnighting with me sometimes too. Late in the summer, I took him camping in the mountains. We found a great spot in the woods by a laked to pitch our tent. We skinny dipped, hiked, fished, boated. It was great! At night he'd get scared by the sounds in the woods, so I zipped our sleeping bags together into one big bag, and he slept snuggled up with me. The last weekend of the summer, Shirley, Mary and I took Connor to the ocean. We got two rooms. Connor and I in one, the ladies in the other. We had a blast on the beach! As fall came, we did a lot of hiking in the woods, we went apple picking, we went on a hay ride, and a walk through a corn maze. We got pumpkins and carved them, and I got to take my son Trick-or-Treating for the first time on Halloween! He went as Darth Vader! Thanksgiving was truly a time of giving thanks for all of us! Everyone was healthy, and happy. I spent Thanksgiving with Connor and his family. His uncle Jack, Shirley's brother came too from out on the west coast. When we were introduced, he looked at me a little funny. My gaydar told me he was gay. As we shook hands, I smiled at him, and he winked at me. I winked back. He held my hand a little longer than a straight guy would. One evening while he was there, Mary needed a few things at the store, and I volunteered to go get them, Jack said he'd come too. Connor tried to join us, but Shirley made him stay home for one reason or another. Alone in the car, Jack finally asked, "Did Shirley tell you I'm gay?" I said "no, did she tell you I am too?" He laughed and said "No." I looked at him, he was staring at me. As I drove, I put my hand on his knee. I felt his hand start to rub the inside of my thigh. "It's been a while since I broke up with my boyfriend" he said. I told him about Brian then. After we picked up the groceries, I looked at him and said "this might seem forward of me, but would you like to stop at my house for a few minutes and have a quickie?" "Thought you'd never ask" he grinned. Jack was tall, thin, bleachy blonde, clean-shaven, and cute! We walked into to the house, and closed the door, and I lead him upstairs. We both just started stripping. It only took a minute, and we were both naked and standing in front of each other kissing each other and feeling each other's hardons! Jack had a nice long one like mine, only a little thinner. He was cut too. Before I knew it he was on his knees sucking me off. It only took a minute or so, and I climaxed in his mouth. He greedily sucked me dry, before standing up. I then knelt before him and sucked him dry too. When I was finished, I stood up and we both grinned at each other. Then I took his hand and moved toward the bed. We laid down and snuggled up to each other. It wasn't long and we were both hard again. this time we 69ed and sucked each other slowly to orgasm! Afterward we dressed, and drove back to the house. As we walked in the door, Connor ran up "What took so long?" Shirley looked at us both with a shit-eating grin and said, "They were just getting to know each other a little better - that's all." Mary bustled by taking the bag from me, obviously oblivious. Connor then dragged me and his Uncle Jack into the living room to play some games while dinner cooked. Christmas was similar to Thanksgiving. Jack came out again, staying a little longer this time. He and I managed to get together a couple of times for more than a quickie, and also a couple of quickies. We got along great together. Christmas was magical for me and for Connor. He had his father for the first time at Christmas, and I had a son. He still believed in Santa Clause too, which was a whole lot of fun! Life was going along the best it had, since Brian died. I still missed him very much. But I had a son now, and I had a few good fuck-buddies: Jack, Keith (the nurse from the hospital), my doctor, and his intern. I had my work too. I didn't think that things could get any better. Connor and I had a lot of fun in the winter. I took him sledding, and we had snowball fights. We built forts and snowmen. I taught him how to ski a little too. On Winter vacation, Shirley and I took him to Disney World. We all had a lot of fun! April came, and springtime blossomed. Easter was upon us. Connor believed in the bunny yet, so I had fun setting up an Easter Egg hunt for him, and helping Shirley with his basket. I bought him a new bicycle for a present. Jack was back for Easter, a quick trip though. We still had a couple quickies. May 4 dawned beautifully, school only had about 6 weeks to go. After school, I was busy planning things for our summer vacation, when the phone rang. I got a sickening feeling as I picked up the receiver. I had good reason to feel that way. Mary was on the other end, barely coherent. They were at the ER, Connor had been riding his bike with a friend, and had been hit by a car! I dropped the phone and ran for my car. I was at the hospital running into the ER 12 minutes later. I found them in a room, Connor lying unconscious on a gurney, Shirley and Mary crying by his side. Tears were running down my face too. A police officer was there. He asked me who I was, I told him, then he told me that Connor and the other boy, who was in the room next door had both been hit by a drunk teenager who was speeding, and had suddenly turned down the street and run into both boys. I pushed past him, and went over to Connor. Shirley turned and collapsed in my arms sobbing, Mary joined her. After a few minutes they both got off me, and we all turned our attention to Connor. I leaned over and kissed him, and told him I loved him. Suddenly alarms went off. Shirley started screaming. Connor's heart had stopped. Doctors and nurses raced in with a crash cart. We were shoved out the door. After 30 minutes of work, they came out. Connor was dead. Shirley had to be tranquilized, and admitted to the hospital overnight she was so distraught. Mary, who had a heart condition was checked in for observation too. I was allowed to go in and say Good-Bye to my son. He was laying there with a tube in his mouth, and monitor wires on him. A nurse told me to turn away just a moment, and when she said I could look again, she'd removed the tube from his throat and the wires. He lay there as if asleep, except for all the cuts and bruises. I sat down on the edge of the gurney and picked him up in my arms, and just sobbed. I stayed there holding him and crying for about 20 minutes I guess. As I left, the police officer came over again and told me that connor's friend had died in surgery too. He told me that the drunken kid was going to face 2 counts of vehicular murder charges now. I asked if he'd been hurt too. The officer said he hit a phone pole after he hit the boys and he was a couple doors down getting stitches. Just about then, I heard some yelling coming from a room a few doors down. That's him now the police officer said. I was suddenly seized with fury. I spun on my heel and walked down to the room and looked in. There was a 16 year old punk lying on a gurney complaining about having to have a shot of novacaine and stitches. My kid and his friend were dead! I practically ripped the door off its hinges as I burst into the room and strode over to the bed. I grabbed the kid by the throat and started pounding on him and bellowing at him about how he didn't deserve to live after he killed my boy and his friend. The cop had followed me and was yelling to get security, because he couldn't pull me off the kid. The kid's mother was there. She was screaming in terror that I was killing her son. Finally the cop, and a security guard pried me off him and dragged me out. They dragged me into an empty room, and held me down, hollering that I had to stop or I'd get arrested too. Finally in frustration, I just started bawling my eyes out. The cop and Security Guard both relaxed their grips and the cop actually held me while I cried. When I finally got hold of myself and he'd let go of me, I realized he'd been crying too. About then, Sarah and Don walked in. Sarah had seen me run out of the house earlier, and realized I hadn't locked up. They tried Shirley's - no answer. Finally they locked my house up and drove to Shirley's to see if I was there, and maybe was outside. Sarah knew something was up. The neighbors told her what had happened. I started crying again, and they joined me. After some time, they coaxed me to go home with them. I stopped to check on what they were going to do with Connor. The nurse asked about funeral homes. I told them one to use. I asked about Shirley and Mary, they were both sedated and resting I was told. I went back one more time to look in at Connor. Someone had pulled the sheet up over his face. At that point I just let Don and Sarah lead me out. As I passed the drunken kid's room, I heard the mother shrieking - "there he goes - there's the guy who tried to kill my boy!" I turned and was about to go back in there when a man standing there started bellowing at the woman "Shut up you ignorant bitch! Our son killed that man's boy! How do you think he feels!" Don pulled me out the ER door then. They put me in Sarah's car and she drove me home, while Don followed in my car. They got me in my house and sat me down. I asked Don to call Jack. He did. He said Jack was devestated, but was on his way. Don gave me a large glass of bourbon. He had the bottle in his hand, I reached out and took the bottle and handed him the glass. I must've finished the bottle, it was empty when I finally woke up. May 4 may have started out nice - but it turned out to be the worst day of my life! The next day Shirley and Mary were sent home, Sarah and Don helped me pick them up, and get them home. I gently asked Shirley what to do about the funeral. She just stared at me. Mary said "will you just handle it please?" I said I would. Don took me to the funeral home. I took care of the arrangements. When we got back, Jack had arrived by taxi from the airport. He took me in his arms and we both cried. The wake and funeral were the hardest I ever had to go through. There wasn't a dry eye in the funeral home or church. And as they lowered Connor's casket into the ground finally, I felt like my world had come to an end, and there was absolutely nothing left to live for. After that, I turned into a recluse. I didn't come out of my house. I just laid around staring vacantly at things for days. Nothing interested me anymore. I didn't think I'd ever get over it. I had no desire to do anything. Spring turned into summer, and I still did nothing. Sarah and Don tried. Nothing worked. Fall was coming. The school principal came to see me. He must've been horrified at the sight of me, long scraggly beard, dirty old clothes, the house a mess, fast food containers everywhere. He told me I should see a friend of his, a grief counselor. I declined. He told me I had to get it together, if I was going to teach in the fall. I told him I wasn't going to teach anymore. Then I told him he could leave. That was my resignation. The kid who killed Connor and his friend came to trial - that perked me up a little. I actually got my ass out of bed, showered and shaved and went to the courthouse for it. I still looked really hagard though I guess. He was convicted, and when I spoke prior to the sentencing, I left no doubt I would like to see that kid dead - rather than mine! He ended up with 30-35 years in prison. Eventually, with Sarah, Don and the boys all prodding me, and trying to pick up my house all the time, they forced me to start doing things with them. I felt just a little better. Not much. Losing Brian had been bad enough, but Connor, that was too much. I was able to function again though. I could take care of myself and the house again. I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew one thing though - if I was going to make it, I had to have a new start. I couldn't stay in my hometown anymore - there were just too many bad memories. I had to move away. But where? It had to be somewhere peaceful, and nice. The less people the better. I began thinking about places I could go and try to start over again... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you enjoyed this chapter, Keep your eyes open for the final chapter of this series - "Chapter 17 - Alaska" - where I tell about my life after Connor's death, up until the present.